Thread 212055257

Fanny edition

Might go on a bender

Mental how your cockhead was your clit, your nutsack was your labia, your seminal tube was your vagina, your nuts were your ovaries, and you just had to become a male and therefore be forced to toil and suffer and post here your whole life

cant wait to be posting here as a granddad

WWE ON TONIGHT

>>212055274
was just saying this down the bookies

Business idea: 90% of the planet is female but there is still patriarchy and it is even stronger than in our own history as the men are literal god-kings, lion alphas of the global pride

>>212055274
I like to think I'd have found my way here regardless

dongle trump

Do you ever have a moment where you suddenly snap out of your normal thinking and become aware of yourself from almost like a third person point of view (not literally, but sort of) and you're like "This is me? What am I doing?"
This just happened to me a few minutes ago when I walked into the living room.

Wonder if Peter Hitchens was a crazy degenerate fiend when he was a Marxist or if he just said the word "fuck"

might do an ummy

>>212055356
Yeah and I’d have fucked you rotten

Puppystein was a naughty little rascal today but I love him x

you've got to give it to trump
he's got charisma

You got guts, kid. I respect that.

BRADbinble

>>212055419
He's a TV star

>>212055419
Politicians shouldn't have charisma. The should be boring cunts doing a boring job. If something interesting is happening in politics then it means something has gone wrong.

>>212055419
Yeah
Autistic leftypols can shart themselves about it, but charisma is the most important thing in a leader

>>212055294
im 29 and will never forgive myself if i stay here past my early 30s

>>212055454
Ah yes NPC Starmer has been so great

>>212055454
Neoliberal nonsense

>>212055454
got it out of your system?

>>212055454
>>212055455

The UK is deteriorating
There is a sick sick culture of celebrity obsession and worship that never used to be in the UK
Every week a literal who internet celebrity will be mobbed by crowds of brown zoomers as they go to a JD or walk around a shopping center all with phones in hand
There used to be a time when major actually famous celebrities would come to the UK to escape the nightmare of fame as nobody cared about who they were or let them go about their business but that's no longer the case they have to go to Japan now

The UK is falling

>>212055475
I bet you said that about your late twenties when you were 25

>>212055454
strongly agree

Put me to sleep.

>>212055454
Neoconservative nonsense

>>212055506
i didnt. i was directionless back then and 4chan was actually a net positive in my life

>>212055454
Neo-Trotskyist nonsense

>>212055454
heard the same thing off a fat red-faced mong called baz down the local

handful of niccy pouches up the arse

If you fart a mega fart does poop exit the buttock opening faster or slower? Slower because pressure is lower, or faster because shit got pushed down?

>>212055495
Nobody watches the second half of Full Metal Jacket.

nth for the gyal x baddiedem

>>212055541
put them under my foreskin me

>>212055556
I did the other day

>>212055500
Celebrity worship was always bad here (look at the Princess Diana stuff). The difference is that people aren't forced to consume the same mass-media anymore, so e-celebs are able to cultivate a relatively large following over the internet by pandering to a specific niche. So even if you haven't heard of them, they're still famous.

The average person is a tasteless moron, we know

Banned.

>>212055543
>the buttock opening
Poop doesn’t come from any buttock opening, it comes from the anus.

he's still spamming the mid at best attention whores
what a life

Democracy works better if fewer people can vote not more, people should either have to earn the right to vote or be tested for intelligence and competency

>>212055564
they should strap-on each other

>>212055589
um thats fascism sweaty

>>212055568
what happens

Shoe

"Politicians" shouldn't exist at all, the people gave absolutely no influence over their government at all, and pretending they do is cruel

I would argue the most important trait in a politician is getting things done. A successful politician is someone with many actioned policies under his belt. An unsuccessful one is one that gets stonewalled, deadlocked, unable to move forward.
Blair and Thatcher, successful. Brown and May, unsuccessful.

just so you know
i birthed those replies, those "(You)s"
you should be thanking me

I always thought Trump looks very German but today I saw a picture of him smiling and for some reason it made me think of an Irish leprechaun fella more than a German.

>>212055618
truthnuke

>>212055609
load of nicotine inni

>>212055612
Russian?

>>212055618
Shut up you twat

>>212055633
Alri Sir Keir

>>212055454
counter point: caesar

held my newborn nephew for the first time today and it was an odd experience

forgot just how small babies are after they're born, they're like little porcelain dolls

*makes a 3rd-tier of justice for everyone who took philosophy, politics or economics at A-level*

zoomers cant get enough of their truthnukes or theyr trvthnukes or their trvthnvkes, whatevers fashionable at the time

>>212055619
Hitler and that fat guy

>>212055633
Millions and millions of people can vote for a man who says he'll do X and then he can just not do it and nothing happens to him

You got pend there for me.

>>212055454
mostly agree with this but at the same time nothing interesting happening, in itself, isn't necessarily indicative of healthy politics

I wish sir Keir Starmer was my dad

>>212055696
grangly bobinbly

>>212055705
He's all of our dads in a way

>>212055705
Collecting

>>212055656
voiceover guy for that channel sounds very peculiar, i thought it was ai at first

>>212055705
Wished Hitler or a fat guy was my dad and I'm very lucky

soon zoomies, you'll be sharing a space with generation alpha, a generation raised by us millennials, an actual funny generation, raised not by the irony loving cringecastles of generation x so you'd best be prepared eh?

>>212055454
Given that yanks are agreeing with you, you're retarded

Classified. 0 rebel against it!

>>212055705
>he wishes he was a likkle jewish boy
sort yourself out

>>212055742
Generation Alpha is mostly wogs

No.

can't think of anything more depressing than thinking about jews all day

>>212055766
My current mum would still be my mum and she's not jewish

Bout to smoke some hash, haven’t had hash in years. Some cunt just threw me a lump in the Wetherspoons smoking area. Just as well because I have no weed in the gaff

>>212055747
agreed :^)

Evens I go maccies
Odds I don't

>>212055742
don't you have work tomorrow dad

Wipe it down the toilet.

screaming at my stupid chud life

watching king of the hill

>>212055818
Utter nonsense.

Most of this thread and last has been nothing but people posting gibberish like “brumbly wumbles”.

"When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean" — Línjì Yìxuán

>>212055830
turn it off

>>212055800
Enjoy patriot

Deja vu.

Can't actually be fucked might just have cereal instead

I'm on a diet of imodium and poo to see how long I can make the poo stay

stretching a poo

>>212055840
?

https://voca.ro/13BipokQYRQS
Russian.

poo all in the creases of the accordion bellows, a complete mess and the more you play it the worse it gets

Probably eyes.

>>212055840
Thought provoking

Still can't believe how they managed to psyop women into believing that going back to full-time employment, instead of sitting on your arse all-day once the kids were in school, was an improvement for them and a form of "empowerment".

There's the "twee, Green Man, Stonehenge and Solstice, Red Squirrels, King Charles and David Attenborough" imagination of folkish pagan wholesome communitarian Britain

But I prefer the Britain that just fully embraces Greco-Roman LARP, that sees Aeneas and Herodotus as essential reading for gentlemen, where Oxford admissions required knowledge of Latin, poems were memory taught through recitation, a military career was prestigious and elite, the sciences were pursued vigorously and there was little room for sentimental romantic poppycock

Just die already.

>>212055915
Makes life a hell of a lot easier

What?

I’ve just been hit by a tidal wave of loneliness

Not true but it's a nice thought

>>212055969
Rebel.

Aryan withdraw

>>212055977
Stop thinking so much

2025 and Britain is geopolitically irrelevant. You love to see it.

keep your loving brother happy
*sticks a harmonica in your mouth and walks away*

>>212055742
gen z teachers already despise the alphas
imo society ends with them

>>212056038
wonder what emmets doing rn

Mad how peng Stairway to Heaven is in Eb minor

Beat Chernobog in Kingdom Hearts. Was an easy boss. I also found dragon Maleficent easy although it took ages to kill her. The Riku-Ansem fight was the hardest for me. I will probably finish the game after work tomorrow. Then on to Chain of Memories.

I read some chapters of Deadman Wonderland. I would give it an 8 or 9 out of 10 atm. If the ending is good it will be getting a 9.

I also started a drawing of Giselle again. I'm taking my time with this one.

Wonder if life is much different on the isle of man

>>212056076
Died mate. His obituary was posted here around the time of the lockdowns I remember.

*stands up stretches turns around and lays back down again*

playing rematch and getting my arse kicked and letting all of my teammates down and pissing them off and getting placed in the lowest possible rank
it's just like PE

>>212055842
why

>Beat Chernobog in Kingdom Hearts. Was an easy boss. I also found dragon Maleficent easy although it took ages to kill her. The Riku-Ansem fight was the hardest for me. I will probably finish the game after work tomorrow. Then on to Chain of Memories.
>
>I read some chapters of Deadman Wonderland. I would give it an 8 or 9 out of 10 atm. If the ending is good it will be getting a 9.
>
>I also started a drawing of Giselle again. I'm taking my time with this one.

virgin freak hours on /brit/
my favourite

>>212056102
shut up spaki

100% chance i will get cancer

Four shits tonight

>>212056119
*sneezes*

>>212056117
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>212056122
Ahahaha

lf Tilde was attractive or even passing he would have spammed selfies ten years ago. God knows what a 30 yr old greggs tranny looks like

Do you think she is a virgin?

>>212056125
I said turn it off. Now.

>>212056158
Yes
She looks like a C programmer from the 70s

>>212056158
minecraft steve looking mf

>>212055730
just ur average souvener

Oh yeah I also passed my taekwondo grading last week can't remember if I told you that team

watching trailer park boys s5

>>212056191
Reckon that's the only thing you pass

Blocked the toilet again LOL

The theme for Traverse Town is stuck in my head

>>212056226
Alri Emma.

>>212055961
thoughts?
how many threads do you fanny cunts have up

>>212056138
You could kickstart human development of electricity by several hundred years by showing them a voltaic pile and an inverter

poor girls getting beaten up by tilde's shovel hands

Much rather have mental health issues than a wheelchair

HOW DARE YOU
HOW ABSOLUTELY DARE YOU

>>212056268
they go together

>>212056158
>>212056244
Definitely a turboslut within her circle just like that hideous FTX slag
I would definitely fuck her

why didnt they just let Charles and Camilla get married decades ago since they were obviously mad in love?

>>212056268
Having a wheelchair would be great. I would put a NOS button on mine.

>>212056292
yeah

>>212056292
Camilla just didn't have the It Factor compared to Diana, honey

PIP call on Wednesday morn, bricking it x

>>212056321
well? are you doing a better job or

Mental how widely loved Diana was in America
Saw that old home video of a group of gay guys in NYC seeing her death report pop up on tv and they all screamed like the president just got popped

>>212056334
>Mental how widely loved Diana was in America
why tho she was just some British lady

LATINA BOOTY!

Enjoying life really at the moment. Even work isn't that bad. I wish I didn't sleep so much but I guess we can't everything in life.

In that state of post-poo bliss where my guts feel empty inside, love it

>>212056334
Why does it matter if the president explodes they have a vice president now don't they

>>212056191
you will never be a blackbelt

>>212056350
Glad to hear

>>212056347
I have no idea
People really loved the royals here up until a few years after Kate’s first kid then it kind of tapered off

>>212056332
I'll be talking to someone about my application, I'm applying for PIP

>>212056376
what is PIP in the UK
PIP means Performance Improvement Plan in America. Meaning you're doing a shit job and they put you on a developmental plan to either improve or get fired

Working in a vets would be amazing but I can't think of anything I could do there besides receptionist which would suck. I just want to work with animals

King Willy V

When the Queen died they imnidetely found a new old person when Diana died they still haven't I mean she was truly different

>>212056361
sweat on your brow

>>212056393
You shouldn't be allowed anywhere near animals, or children either.

need to ask parents or some old people why people liked Diana so much.

>>212056321
what's your mento elf?

>>212056388
Not telling since you're being a classic obnoxious yank

Mental how sad old people look when you remove three quarts of their front head

>>212056427
Autism mainly, learning difficulties as a side-dish, the classic depression as a starter

I'm such a fucking waster

valve is finishing up on hl3 so theyre starting work on tf2 updates

>>212056412
Why did you paste your DBS check result here lad?

>>212056412
I have two cats and I genuinely despise children I hate them so much

being old seems miserable

>>212056493
Are you an uncle yet or what

>>212056498
I'm looking forward to it

>>212056477
kahteem

>>212056498
yea grandad conplains
99, joints hurt

>>212056503
Fat freak sister is in hospital as we speak but idk if she's had the fat freak baby yet

>>212056530
hows he so old

>>212056493
>I genuinely despise children I hate them so much
That's because you're a loathsome mental case.

boy in the stripped pajamas wank soon

>>212056554
kept active

Prestiging again today lads, gonna work back up to my original weight from zero

>>212056565
well thats me dead

>>212056562
cor
hope you 'have a gas' per se

>>212056565
Activeee

activeeee

If I'm still alive at 100 you lads have permission to whack me to death with baseball bats

>>212056388
It's disability payment

do you think Charles enjoys being king?

>>212056393
Working in a vets because you love animals is stupid. You'll see nothing but ill or mistreated animals and the vet ends up having to kill most of them because the owners can't afford to treat it or they just need to put the animal out of it's misery. Vets have the highest suicide rate because they get into it thinking they love animals but then they see the reality and want to end their life.

>>212056629
You'll be in the death pod long before then

he's on the decline now but at 90, he was taking care of muttons and cutting down trees

shall be living as long as possible even if l am immobile and a terrible drain on resources

>>212056629
Only one of us here who’ll make it past 65 is that one runninglad whose heart is at peak efficiency and bradycardic

>Vets have the highest suicide rate
Sure you aren't thinking of military veterans

bought some tropical IPA cans cos they were cheap and its fucking awful don' know how leftypol drinks this shite it's like fizzy um bongo

>>212056647
Personal Independence Payment is the full name

>>212055257 (OP)
Am I retarded for not wanting to buy a car til i have Income

>>212056725
>>212056647
Anons your economy is in shambles
But hey mazel tov, enjoy

I know that logically I should be trying to be as active as possible to improve my quality of life. And I have a good idea of what routines I should be following. But I simply cannot be arsed.

>>212056748
Based can'tbearsedlad

i'll be purchasing a wankpod 3000 and throwing away the key then dying of exhaustion

Not sure I like William uniting the British tribes

Wondering how the lad who made 100,000s betting on nothing ever happening is doing following the news that iran v israel war isn't gonna happen

Going mental thinking how I could have lived my whole life without suffering in a giant poo orgy in pre-colonial India

just learned about the death of joachim peiper because of this fella

Despite being a pretty girl, Emma Watson does some pretty disgusting farts.

Can't stop sweating

where are the pokemon go updates?

try to stay sober but l get so bored

Why are Gogs such cucks?

>>212057072
the key is to find a way to get outside of yourself and your own head

volunteering (e.g. at a soup kitchen) is a great way to do this, but even just getting into a hobby that forces you to be social can help too

alri

>>212056953
Known plagiarist and editor of his own Wikipedia article Mark Felton

look at this dood

sexy time

>>212057289
rorke as it were

what is a melt? I understand it's an insult but simply CANNOT figure out the specifics of it

Skiddaridink a chinky dink
Skiddaridinky doo
I love poo

>>212057431
wtf

>>212057434
Dunno wouldn't use that one myself

so trump shown some actual force, and they literally stopped fighting? simple as?

post the pinkie pies
upload the fluttershies
attach the rainbow dashes

>>212057217
mental how cool, charming, bit cheeky, and beloved by everyone this puppy is

It’s a good old fashioned Louisiana shitfuck, right in the swamp.

>>212057473
i prefer rarity

>>212057466
nah something going on again already southern iraq
plus more attacks on our bases

>>212057289
mad how they kind of look like abos

bored out of my mind
desperately need something productive and fun to do

>>212057567
RORKE
dont.
be.
racist.

>>212057576
Leaving for my 'cel walk in about 30 minutes if you'd care to join

finally came in my fleshlight hands free
it nice

>>212057562
really? bit disappointing would be nice for one of these bloody wars to just stop

This war on Iran is a Jewish show of force. Everyone can see it's Iraq 2.0. No one wants it. And there's not a thing we can do.

love seeing american people that look violently british, like seeing an endangered animal or something

Based daddy Trump

If the ceasefire is real I’ll eat my shit, I’ll eat my hat, I’ll eat shit out of a hat.

GRWM to hang out with fine shyt

GBWM

>>212057892
umm

The thing is, if we ever end up at large-scale war with another country (AKA WW3) I will literally just kill myself.

I don't have any desire to live through such a calamitous world environment. I don't want to live through a war. So if it ever happens, I might as well just blow my brains out.

I was promised as a child that I would grow up and live in a world where wars were an aberration, NOT the norm. The fact that society has betrayed me and has continued to pursue wars is a fucking disgrace. This is not the world that I was PROMISED as a child.

playing my gay little guitar :)

>>212057912
>I was promised as a child
by whom?

>>212057912
thats illegal

VERY 2016mong-esque post

I want to move to scotland and speak in their funny wee accent aye and drink a lager and all

>>212057912
thing is you're a little bitch boi and you'd be too scared to kill yourself

What is the secret of the bong woman?
why are they so angelic beautiful?
https://youtu.be/fBf2v4mLM8k?si=cCmv72SpIIyun419

>>212057921
My Sweet Lord please

if fat people can have ozempic i should be allowed to have steroids

>>212057999
you are

>>212057937
all his posts are blaming his inadequacies on society. he also spams about being a virgin in his only 30s

>>212057989
Your average female bong looks like Maisie Williams. The less Celtic and the more Anglo-Saxon genetics she has, the prettier an English girl looks.

>>212057912
wars were the norm for thousands of years, I dunno what you were expecting

>>212058013
on god?

>>212057924
By everybody. My parents. My family. My teachers. The whole society around me.

The message was loud and clear as a child growing up in the 2000s:
>You are a part of a special generation. The first generation to not experience large-scale war or global conflict. There are no more World Wars. The Cold War is over. You are free and able to live your life in a future where peace is the norm, and cooperation between human nations is a guarantee.

And then this was all snatched away from me, and I was plunged into "interesting times"...

How is this fair? This is not the life I was PROMISED when I was young. I should be allowed to sue the teachers and authority figures I had in my youth, because they fucking lied to me. They should be forced by law to award me billions of pounds in compensation.

>>212058063
sybau nigga

>>212058045
So? I didn't grow up in those past "thousands of years"... I grew up in the 1990s and 2000s and 2010s. A time of unprecedented global peace. I should not be forced to live in a world of war against my will. I never fucking asked for this.

Darling, the shuttlecock's lodged in the weathercock! HAHAHAHA, COCK!

>>212058063
bitch ass nigga stop cryin

any hairless twink in?

finna nap for 2 hours

>>212058099
Are you telling me you wouldn't be crying if World War broke out tomorrow?

If Iran was launching nuclear missiles towards the UK tomorrow, you wouldn't be bawling your eyes out?

You're insane if so. Nobody should want to live in a world like this. This is fucking unacceptable. Our politicians who lead us into this situation should be strung up from fucking poles like Mussolini.

*bums your dad*

>>212058084
you're being hysterical, no one is dropping bombs on you

>>212058101
What's wrong with that dog's face?

Penis

imagine zombie chimps where if they bite a person they start turning into a chimp

>>212058166
haha bjork talks like that

>>212058173
that would be crazy
it'd be chimp city

brit scraping the bottom of the barrel and sharting out twitter screenshots is grim.

>>212058141
Yeah, but that's the problem isn't it?

In 2015 they told me:
>WW3 is impossible. It will never happen.

In 2020 they told me:
>It's possible, but unlikely.

In 2022 they told me:
>It's a distinct possibility, but only if Russia poses a significant threat.

In 2025 they began to tell me:
>Russia is a huge threat and the whole country needs to prepare for war against them.

And now they tell me:
>Iran is a huge threat, they are allied with Russia and we must defend against them militarily.

The drums of war have been beating for a long time. It's abundantly clear there is a HUGE group in modern society who are determined to destroy everybody's lives by starting a large-scale global war. Why should I be forced to put up with their bullshit?

i am 80% british, i am basically a brit trapped in the prairie.

I'd like to witness the complete collapse of civilization

love how personally this lad takes world events

>>212058212
WILD PRAIRIEEEEEE

oh my days shut up

>>212058256
it makes sense for those people to say that because their standard of living would drastically lower if bad things keep happening

>>212058295
it isnt lowering and wont

oh my god Iranian planes are flying overhead. I'm so scared.

>>212058219
>>212058225
>>212058236
>>212058239
I mean, do you guys not worry about this shit?

When I was 16 back in 2012ish, whenever I used to see writings that mentioned future dates (eg. 2016, 2017, 2018), I would internally think "It's pointless, because we'll all probably be dead from worldwide nuclear war by then."

When Trump got elected in 2016 and the North Korean crisis started in his first term, I was fucking terrified and every single morning I would wake up to the BBC News alert on my phone and wonder "Is this it? Have nukes been dropped? Has all-out war broken out?"

Early 2020 when Trump assassinated that Iranian general was a particularly bad moment, I honestly thought everything was over and we would all die in nuclear hellfire in January 2020.

And now it's all happening again. There's only so many times you can roll the dice before you roll the Devil's number. Total worldwide fucking calamity is coming sooner or later.

>>212058314
how are you still not medicated

fellow '96 schizos unite

>>212058314
nice satire, you had me there for a minute

watching the Hong Kong handover ceremony and having a cry

>>212058314
Literally the only non-Western country that matters at all is China. Until it's us vs them it is a nothingburger

>>212058355
no you're not

>>212058327
You can't fucking medicate me.

What do you expect to happen? I will take some pills and every concern of mine will evaporate?

That's never gonna fucking happen.

Occasionally I can look back and say "that thing I was worried about was overblown and incorrect", but as soon as I do that, there's 1 million new things to worry about.

I always have to be vigilant. This world is a fucking hellhole. Every single thing in this world appears to be designed to be hostile towards me.

watching sky news and flinching every time the camera cuts to a different person

>>212058374
*forces your jaw open and fucks your face*

>>212058375
Why

>>212058372
China worries me immensely. I hate seeing Tiktok-brainwashed zoomers support them as if they are some "benevolent good" in this world. It makes me feel an unmistakable pit of doom inside my stomach. I honestly wish the entire regime of China would just collapse so I didn't have to worry about them anymore.

>>212058385
Every single thing in this world appears to be designed to be hostile towards me.

>>212058405
Are you schizophrenic?

The Online Safety Act looms.

I always have to be vigilant. This world is a fucking hellhole. Every single thing in this world appears to be designed to grangle me.

>>212058424
the jig.... oh the jig.... its up...

new gimmick just dropped, the worrier

>>212058394
>unmistakable pit of doom
lol your mum's fanny

>>212058462
LOL done him

Where's the new

>>212058314
>>212058374
>>212058394
sybau nigga

>>212058481
ill get on that

>>212058481
can't believe you're thinking about the new when we could all be exploded by large bombs any minute

>>212058499
Make the new and it'll take your mind off things

>>212058507
>>212058507
>>212058507
>>212058507
the new

>>212058512
>>212058512
>>212058512

two news? our cup runneth over

>>212058533
the end times, can hear the sirens now