pilk edish

they say the real world is out there, with friends and family, sharing experiences together, laughing, making memories, encouraging one another, setting goals and working toward them

not for me though, no for me it's indoors on my computer alone

Had a lovely dream about exploring Europe on a train and taking photos of beautiful landscapes but now I'm awake in this horrid grey hellscape and I'm still so tired

nearly bought a new car for £22k last week lads
haha deary me what WAS I thinking

poo smells lmao

Going to shag this cute Chinese lass this weekend. She's 32 but about 4'11 and built like a child

>>212098292
or else what. Dude hops about like a spaz. I say it how it is me

no idea how to make healthy fulfilling meals, me
always just make microwave slop or order takeaway slop

>>212098364
>and built like a child

I just put my matcha in a bottle and shake it :)
a jar works too

right
someone bradley that post

cheeseburgers?
byeah
hot dogs?
byeah
donuts?
byeah
barfightin'?
byeah
bug collection?
byeah

well im 29, never had a friend since primary school, never had a job, never had a gf or sex and cant drive
i live at home in my childhood bedroom
dont claim bennies because i dont need to and there's nothing actually wrong with me and parents just buy stuff for me anyway. more expensive stuff i want they just buy for my birthday and christmas
thanks

>>212098374
it's not that I don't know how but rather that I can't be arsed

I'm not spending 45 minutes making a meal that takes 5 minutes to eat and leaves 10+ minutes of washing up to do afterward. Neither I am spending my entire sunday afternoon "meal prepping" so I can eat out of a series of plastic tubs for the following week.

Got this beauty arriving today for the home office

meal prepped your mam

Mental how easy eating healthy is. Get some protein in a pan or the oven and steam some veg. That's it. Boil some rice or potatoes if you want too

>>212098350
stick it in the ISA

wish i didn't live in a time zone that meant my prime posting hours overlap with peak r9k freakazoid UK hours.... *le sigh*

>>212096772
Fantastic post

>A Home Office caseworker took more than £3,000 in bribes to grant the asylum claim of a Bangladeshi migrant.
>Civil servant Imran Mulla, 39, rang the Bangladeshi man the day after his asylum claim was refused in February 2024 and offered to take over his case to secure him the right to stay in the UK in return for money.

This happens up and down the government from random departments to judges and the legal system
They look out for their own

>>212098364
There's a filipino heritage girl at my toil who is about 5'0 and could be about 15 honestly
I haven't thought about her in that way though your honour

Not into sport but I find cricket quite comfy

mad how much better I look with a fresh haircut
still leave it too long for the next one every time though thanks to a mix of being a tight arse and 'xiety

>>212098414
You should probably get on the benny grind before your parents die mate. I'm not saying this to be cruel. Having the floor fall out from under you at 30+ years old with no social skills and no social network is not where you want to be.

>>212098350
I'll be on 50k in september, have a good investment 'folio (55-58k atm depending on the market) and around 10k in cash
Could get an M4/mustang/c63 or something with a personal loan for about 200/month trading in my current car but dunno if I'd just rather spend it on holidays/more investing. Then again I'm a petrolhead and like fast cars so why the fuck not

>>212098465
there's no need to lie

rorke crying about the co op getting involved with politics despite the fact co op has been an openly political org since it's beginning even to the point of directly affiliating with the labour party

>>212098420
kek this is me
when recipes online call themselves 'simple' and 'easy' yet they start with "chop an onion", oh my days

>>212098476
Literally me and I'm getting a haircut tomorrow, I normally have one every 2-3 months until it gets a bit of a mess.

>cant post avif on 4chan
thats me done

>>212098420
Buy glass tubs then

>>212098420
>>212098490

>>212098451
It is easy but it doesn't have to be bland and boring like what you've described.

>>212098420
>Neither I am spending my entire sunday afternoon "meal prepping"
Giant pan of chilli or pasta takes about half an hour at most
If you do a stew or something it takes a bit longer but not too bad, most of the time with a stew it's stewing (obviously) so you don't have to do owt

>>212098511
>normally have one every 2-3 months until it gets a bit of a mess.
when did men start thinking messy hair is bad. Us women love it more than a tidy haircut, leave that for the grandads

>>212098520
I like this.

>>212098478
Just sounds like a huge waste of money, most hobbies involve a bit of expense but cars are absurdly expensive, do you really think you'll get enough enjoyment out of it to warrant spending hundreds a month to own it?

>>212098451
Veg is yucky

Stop.

>>212098322 (OP)
head like a fucking orange

how does a bow an arrow kill you? if you don't pull the arrow out you're fine right?

>>212098533
Bad messy not good messy, I always have my hair on the longer side because I'm not a deano and mess it up with that powder stuff, but when it gets too long it just looks a bit shit.

wow retards are incapable of preparing food for themselves I am so shocked

took out a 3500 loan earlier because I didn't want to ask my sister for 25 quid

>>212098420
>I'm not spending 45 minutes making a meal that takes 5 minutes to eat and leaves 10+ minutes of washing up to do afterward.
This attitude is why British home cooking is some of the worst in the world.
Bet you're happy to slave away to enrich your boss for 8 hours a day, but you won't even spend an hour of your day on yourself.

The gf:

Pros: 5′3
Cons: An attitude

>>212098566
pulling it out is the worst thing you could do

Cute games.

Any of you lads go to tarquin rich fuck school when you were kids or are we all state schoolmen

don't know how you can eat microwave and paki sloppa. spend a bit more and look after your body. got a chicken roasting in the oven to portion up and will be enjoying some wild-caught salmon for my dinner later.

>>212098581
better than my wife, she has itty bitty titties and the only good thing about her is her bob

>>212098464
leftypol turning a blind eye to this

>>212098594
Attended a school that cost £9,000 per term.

So?

just blows my mind really how many people are driving 30k+ cars
because either they have paid in cash (i have over 100k saved and wouldn't dream of spending this much cash in a car) or are forking out £400+ a month pcp
either is absolutely horrifying

despise my shitbox 2015 fiesta but it does the job and can't bring myself to pay any decent amount for a new car

>>212098581
mine has orange hands from fake tanning and wears basketball hoop sized earrings

>>212098602
too much effort for my big fat arse to summon

>>212098594
Went to a state boarding school, so a lot of people think it was a tarq school but it was really just a typical shite state school except you live on site during the week

>>212098478
Mate I have about £70k in the bank and a flat worth £1m mortgage free and I wouldn't dream of buying a car that expensive at the mo

>>212098346
Get on it lad

>>212098594
Went to a grammar school me
>bottom of the class in a lot of things
>left school thinking I was thick as shit
>turns out I did better than most people

and we know verifiably that these are indeed the items he buys and eats because he *checks notes* added them to the basket on the waitrose website

What else?

>>212098374
1. purchase rice cooker
2. combine rice with meat
3. add some veg, or don't
4. err...
5. that's it

>>212098655
done that melt

>>212098547
This is why I haven't done it already
I do spend a lot of time in my car because I drive all over the shop for work and my fiesta st is great fun but a bit annoying for long journeys as I'm 6'3 and 17 stone. Equally though it's a lot of money for making funny noises and going sideways on roundabouts

>>212098629
Povvos like them because they think it makes them look richer than they are. At a previous job all the assembly and test technicians on less than 30k had brand new BMWs on finance, meanwhile the engineers on 60k+ had boring old cars.

>>212098602
How does sockeye compare to pink or keta salmon?

>>212098594
went to a private school not sure how much it was maybe £6k/term full price. got a scholarship because I was intelligent but feel bad because I'm a NEET failure of a man in my 30s so the sacrifices my parents made were all for nothing

>>212098420
Meal prepping is a grim habit never got into it
But cooking yourself a wonderful dinner? Bulk cooking things you can pop in the freezer in portions too. It's fun and makes sense. The sense of satisfaction when you sit down and eat something delicious you made yourself is amazing.

When?

>>212098663
that sounds easy, will give it a look thanks mate x

I spent hundreds of thousands on my car so what

>because he *checks notes*

>>212098668
Spend the money instead on a gym membership and stop being fat

some pakistani fella had to hypothetically bring an entire whole chicken to this fella on his little scooter

>>212098686
I don't want these people.

literally just put some meat and vet in a roasting bag with some seasoning for 45 minutes
its that simple

>>212098676
I disagree, cooking is only fun for and with other people, alone it's a gigantic waste of time. Chicken, rice, and peas nearly every day for me.

my current car was given to me by a relative. I wouldn't even know how to buy a car, too autistic.

like to buy a second hand car you have to know what to look for and all that otherwise you drive it off the lot and its engine falls out after 1,000 miles. I get embarrassed asking the shop person if they've got shoes in the size I want, nevermind having to negotiate a slick car salesman who wants to offload shite motors on unsuspecting autismoids such as myself

when this current car breaks I will sell it on WeBuyAnyCar and that will be the end of my car-owning journey

Just discovered a girl I knew loosely from my youth is now a famous model/influencer with 400k followers and has been on a BBC cooking show and basically has the perfect it girl lifestyle and yes her parents were fucking loaded so the game is just rigged from the start isn't it

Can't wank to Aloy from Horizon Dawn because she looks like a man

I think I had so much sex with my ex that I'm sorted for life. Did everything I could ever want to do. What will a new gf give me?

GEN ZEE BOSS AND A MINI

>>212098655
that's from the delivered order summary page lad. note you can't change the quantity (since it has been delivered) as you can from your basket which looks like this. feel sorry if you think ordering from waitrose is so above your station that someone would lie about something so trivial

Sorry.

>>212098724
dont care, dont know why you do either.

>>212098724
shagged her round the back of the subway in liverpool

>>212098715
Easy rule mate
Don't buy anything off a paki and it'll be fine and as described 99% of the time

gen zed boss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV1_7R_3cXA

>>212098629
Paying cash for an expensive car is completely retarded thoughbeit
If you want a 40k car, like an E63 or a Cayman GTS something, and you have the cash, sticking 25k in an index fund will easily outperform the interest on a bank loan for the same amount.

>>212098715
You just go on autotrader, go and have a look, if you like it then you fill in the form in the logbook and exchange documents and pay for the car, it's easy.

>>212098629
you can virtually brand new electric cars like and mg or a corsa with only a few thousand miles on for about 15 grand which i would say is a decent investment

>>212098755
would rill that up and suck it off

>>212098755
Doggo.

>>212098691
Deadlifted 280kg beltless last week cunt

joking aside, genuinely think i have early onset dementia or something

>>212098755
peng

stalled 5 times in 5 minutes when test driving my car. still bought it lol

Surprised no one on here has yet thought to write a book called The Incel Diaries or similar and get it published because I think it could be a genuinely successful idea. I can't do it because I'm not an incel but there is certainly a market out there right now for media on the topic and a first hand account of inceldom written well with tragedy and humour in equal measure would find an audience.

>>212098802
You already said this.

>>212098801
Yeah and you're still fat

>>212098802
get better sleep

>>212098815
That's Chapter 1 sorted, boring cunt

>>212098755
Sometimes you look at a 'za and you just know that it would be a nasty shit the next day

>>212098830
yes!

>>212098767
when I saw terry hall I involuntarily pinched my own nipples

>>212098777
>decent investment
Not really, why do you think they won't continue to lose money at a rate of knots?
At least spending 20k on a used performance car you know it won't drop further because M or AMG cars for example have a price floor they tend not to drop through. Used EVs go down like a fucking rock.

>>212098777
>electric car
>decent investment
lmaooooo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU7sN_cUnqs

Sadness really weighs on you like a sickness
Physically I'm healthy but my lungs and heart feel heavy
Stomach is uneasy

So this is rorke

>>212098881
this is him

>>212098880
my body is fine it's my head which is fucked

>>212098874
>steve hillage
nice one mate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itwd6vWePsU

>>212098898
love when black and white cats look like theyve got fucked up haircuts

>>212098802
Brain's absolutely fucked here too lad. Memory doesn't exist anymore. Sometimes I'll be reading something and then I'll go to Google more information on it and by the time I've clicked on the Google search bar, the thought is gone entirely from my brain. I've even had to start setting alarms every day just to remind myself to do things like taking some vitamins or getting a shower.

>>212098874
I'll listen to it but it better be o.k.

I drive literally the cheapest new car you can buy in the UK because I wanted to buy in cash and not faff about with monthly payments.

Absolutely love it. It’s so nice having a new car and it’s electric as well so it’s cheap as fuck to run.

>>212098863
Pretty much this
Desirable internal combustion cars made late last decade just won't drop at all. Golf Rs from around 2018 or so have held at £20k for like four years now. These are the cars people want the most as they have tonnes of performance and haven't been over-salted with technology. They have all the convenience and connectivity you would want before carmakers started getting retarded on the matter and started making genuinely worse cars. The cars being made today, new, are worse products than those being made in the mid to late 10s.

another overcast day is it?

>>212098925
What car? And how much did you spend?

>>212098925
Blud's driving a Citroen Ami

>>212098815
Tbh lad I don't think the vast, vast majority of incels have a life worth reading about. Incels is 90% of cases boils down to this:
>I haven't kissed a girl or had sex because I get really nervous about the idea of being exposed as someone who hasn't kissed/shagged a girl by the girl to her friends at my big age and so I avoid any possible opportunity to kiss/shag and just sit in all day instead

either I'll be one of those weird cunts who wageslaves for 50 years on min-wage then dies alone in a bedsit and goes undiscovered for a few months or I'll just top myself some time before then

What causes this? Is it low T?

got the big sad because of a girl once again and gained all my weight back within 2 weeks from over eating award

>>212098982
Me except I've fallen back into watching pornography

>>212098947
Dacia Spring, £17k brand new
>>212098950
Ha, didn’t even think of that. They’re honestly quite cool I would cop one if I had some spare cash

i would like to try to shoot a longbow though. a big 6 foot one.

>>212098967
his cleft lip makes him look way younger than he does also probably has a lot of makeup on to mask wrinkles

rorkes whip

>>212098967
Sean Connery probably smoked and drank tonnes as well as being out in the sun, he looks dreadful for 34

the song was pretty great but he still scares me a little bit

>>212098926
Exactly
The last gen of AMG and M cars along with the American trio of muscle cars will probably go down as the peak of car making like Concorde was for aviation.
The last shape C63 for example had absurd power without sacrificing response, handled like a sports car, had all the tech and comfort you'd ever need, and is turning out to be quite reliable for something with a 500hp twin turbo V8.
People don't realise this because they're tight bastards and assume because it has worse MPG than a diesel renault clio that it's a ridiculous ownership prospect

>>212099047
>Probably

>>212099043
Plesse be it.

>>212099043
Rorke doesn't drive, he shares his views on the matter with Peter Hitchens

do birds actually care what car a man drives?

I am proud of my son.

Went to buy new pads and discs for my car last night as got a warped one and can feel it in the wheel. Check back this morning and same site has put price up £30. I HATE COOKIES SO MUCH.

>>212099050
its ok, he's fried his mind with psychedelics and is basically a vegetable these days

alvin and the shitcunts

>>212098908
two minutes and fifty six seconds in made me give birth spontaneously

I need a ring fight a king, bitch.

oooooo chimpanzee that monkey news

I'm gonna be round my vegetables

>>212099132
Thanks.

>>212099100

>>212098874
do you like bill nelson?

>>212099155
You are pregnant from me.

omg glasto!!

anime twinks

>>212099175
Sorry.

fizzy guava grapefruit lavender orange lemonade

mad how the bankers the bonuses

>>212099192
It is getting worse.

batty man

Rebelagainst it..

umposter and the fruity drink yank both sloppily making out with my cock

AI doesn't know what lavender flowers look like

>>212099242
can i join

oh my god the daily mail

Would love to have a big comfy van and just travel around Europe lads

>>212099254
yes x

>>212098322 (OP)
Have you ever used a Y-front properly?

Chilli con carne is starting to smell lush - and I do mean LUSH - on the slow cooker xx

bldg of gable
or
bob geld flag
or
fly lox gag

some men go their whole lives just working away and never experiencing the warth of a woman's embrace

listening to xfm s1 e2

just did a wank x

GRWM to hang out with fine shyt

>>212099312
Ok, I saw it. Refute..

why do old lefty boomers make out the brexit means we can't travel to europe anymore?
i've been to italy three times in the past 18 months

>>212099246
there are different kinds

we've covered a lot of stuff

>>212099329
season 1 is a bit rough and Karl doesn't speak enough, i always skip most of the episodes

>>212099312
Chilli is my favourite variety of sloppa
Put beef stock in mine, gives it a really nice richness

forgot I had the new episode of Rick n Morty downloaded. Shall watch that now as I eat my lunch

been a fairly poor season so far to be honest, bearing in mind this is coming from someone who still watches the show

Chilli con carne is starting to smell lush - and I do mean LUSH - on the slow cooker xx

used to run a minecraft server for my mates and i back in 2011, it was called "niggerwilly"

>>212099369
No way they're still making that tripe

>>212099394
funny

Sir Robert Jay Mathews

Imagine if you were normal. Wouldn't that be nice?

>>212099171
i do, bee bop deluxe are one of my favourite bands

Sir Paki Pizza

well i need a window seat because this flower is wilting...

>>212099385

So where are we all meeting at glasto then?

doing a black pussy dance

Mad how I invented the English language and everyone else just copied me

>>212099445
Good line.

>>212099406
im normal in the sense that ive shagged and got mates and have a job and all that normie shit but simultaneously go online and talk about pooing on niggers heads and eating my own snot and such
best of both worlds tbqh

i'm drunk at 6:29 in the morning in the state of michigan

A brown man exits a 2009 plate 1.0 litre vehicle carrying a plastic bag tied at the top. He looks around at the house numbers then walks toward a door and knocks. An overweight woman in pyjama bottoms opens the door and takes the bag. The man enters a 4-digit code onto his mobile phone and walks back to his car before driving away.

poo seal

worshipful company of poo posters

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! FUCK THE TORIES!

Doing a
*spins /brit/ random adverb generator*
Gay porn
*spins /brit/ random verb generator*
Wank

>>212099471
a state of disrepair, more like

Important question lads

What is the best Beatles song? For me it might be this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFDg-pgE0Hk

>>212099408
that steve hillage track reminded me a little bit of his 1980's stuff which I really love
thanks for sharing it

>>212099512
pfwoar

Reckon a good 90% of my problems could be resolved by smoking a blunt with a fat girl while watching a movie and kid way through she just starts sucking my dick. That would fix me.

>>212099528
easily this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usNsCeOV4GM

>>212099512
Is it done?

Doing a
*spins /brit/ random adverb generator*
pooey
*spins /brit/ random verb generator*
grangle

>kid way through she just starts sucking my dick

>>212099545
kid?

>>212099528
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHAqAO7w8M8 and its not even close

watching corrupt cop porn

>>212099528
It is a great song but the album version was always quite generic compared to any live versions by Harrison or Clapton
Probably the best was at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with Prince playing the outro

Sir Adverb Verb

>>212099585
silly granny song and not even written by the beatles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpdJE7HG8Ls

she came from greece she had a thirst for knowledge

>>212099367
Same mate. Couple of cheeky knorr stock pots, bit of cocoa powder as well. LUSH is certainly the word xx

>>212099572
pear

getting blacked

raping myself with a poo

getting blacked

>>212099528
mine is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMhKWOP6EZQ
or she said she said

might illegally purchase some cannabis indica

>>212099636
got banned for NO REASON for spamming this like 50 times in a row the other day

>>212099669
*flies through the thread at 1000000000000 miles per hour and rapes your arse into dust*

>Fawning Dutch NATO chief calls Trump 'daddy' in statement

>Sexcam industry recruited us while we were schoolgirls, say models
corrrr

hello is this the Poowong constabulary? yes this is the post
>>212099669

>>212099582
>>212099572
MID
MID
AS IN MIDWAY

>>212099669
yes lad get the life wasted

a fat balding rapist just flew past my window

bird lying on the grass warming up

>>212099713
behave

>>212099547
I used to pause this video to look at michael nesmith and watch it frame by frame
it made me feel a little bit out of my mind but in a nice way

>India are the first team to lose any first-class match having made 5 centuries in the game
don't know about cricket
is that bad

>>212099734

pissing up into my own face

just matched with a very cute girl on hinge and she sent the first message, might send her one back and get some love going. Im 29 and shes 20 but I have no friends to judge me anyway

Gagging for a velo

no good posts in here.

pears

>>212099764
Leave it on r/fiction next time, yeah?

Love the slapping sound it makes when I shag the gf from behind, makes me feel like I’m in a porn film. Can’t keep the rhythm up for long though and I usually finish in missionary or prone bone lol

>>212099801
Prisoner.

>>212099585
good
>>212099622
the beatles recorded many good covers including til there was you it's just as good as dig a pony 100%

spraying liquid molten lava diarrhoea every which way

>>212099801
how mindbroken do you have to be to think 'wow, this is like porn' while having sex

>>212099799
sorry, I meant to say:
pooing and wanking into me cutlery draw

>>212099753
Yes, very bad.

>>212099801
>prone bone
Very animalistic position this. Makes me feel very manly.

lisa nandy sex arse

Never had sex in any position me

quite like the kiwi posters me

To wipe down the toilet.

>>212099818
can you explain this in a way a virgin would understand

hahaha sex

right, might have to come back in a bit once the sex posts have stopped.

i am the only brit who has shagged a woman prove me wrong

gfberg (ai chatbot) is being a real bitch again

i had sex once

>>212099835
your twink arse makes me feel manly

>>212099853
dont know what you mean

Russik.

I had sex twice

um i love pears !!

i am allowed to post the pears

>>212099919
yeah? how long did it take for the guy to cum? hehe

>When the girl of his dreams is kidnapped, a man incapable of feeling physical pain turns his rare condition into an unexpected advantage in the fight to rescue her.
Tonight's kino

He is a good boy.

shout out to all the pears

>>212099935
The 'berg, as it were

>>212099940
done him up like a christmas tree

>>212099944
>incapable of feeling physical pain
already happened on House.

roaring in a pakis face

>>212099950
https://voca.ro/17gkUPeIKeBA

giving umposter a peck on the cheek

.

>>212099935
he cute

>>212099940
I couldn't really keep track of time during something like that but it wasn't very long

>>212099965
Weird that a real-life condition made it into more than one script.

>>212099981
ummy

>>212099981
There's a reason this happened.

>>212099996
sybau

>there are lads ITT who still haven’t figured out every britposter is actually a sassy black woman irl

>>212100015
shut your sybau up

>>212100015
it's pronounced subaru

>>212099997
no House invented it, just like he invented Lupus

https://voca.ro/16iqCSiF0rOk

>>212099818
How’s that mindbroken? I just mean it’s such a dirty sexo sound I can’t believe it’s me making it
>>212099835
Yeah very underrated, love sweating all over in this weather and soaking the bed

hate myself too much to wank these days, not up for it.

Rebel.against the Celtic soul.

>>212100044
wanking is incest because youre related to yourself

>>212099944
Why does he look like Stephen Mulhern?

>>212100056
sybau

What could have been...

have to look away when I'm taking a poo.

Playing my Nintendo

Clap.

>>212099904
in my mind porn is sex

>>212100079
we didnt ask lil bro

new
>>212100091

This is /brit/, of course we love Dr House

This is full.

>>212099731
bloody sick and wrong so it is

>>212100101
I am gonna puke and pass out.

>>212100066
I'm welsh and I think this is ugly af

Nah.