Thread 212224868

Softshell turtle edition

>>212220878
Previous

I saw this dude on my walk today

CALIFORNIA CALIFOOORNIA HERE WE COME

>>212224889
cute

>>212224889
katze
did you at least pspsps at him

White people just be letting they kids run under your table in the restaurant

>>212224645
This is a widespread issue here. It's partly to blame for a larger than normal percentage of our population is functionally mentally retarded

do you like Columbo?

Here’s a joke circulating in Germany:

What borders on stupidity?

Mexico and Canada…

>>212224940
It’s alright

I should visit Germany and start calling random people on the street Nazis

do you have """friends""" that try to cockblock you? so I talk to this girl basically all the time everyday and we started talking recently. we have a mutual guy """friend""" who doesnt know that we talk. he recently found out that I met her mom and he called her up to ask why and when did I meet her mom. she asked him to invite for a park outing where she's going and he didn't. do you have such snakes in your life?

test o algo

>>212225016
>him to invite for
invite me**
I am still going tho

>>212225016
No my friends are all pretty cool

iktf

>>212224944
The Germans are being too kind to Canada. My country is not smart.

>>212225036
this guy is a virgin incel too. no wonder women hate incels

gas appliances and water heaters are scary

>>212225070
first world hands typed this post

>>212225070
My bedroom is right next to one haha

>>212225070
Water heaters have a million safety features though. Worst they're going to do is flood your basement if you neglect to keep an eye on them towards end of life stage.

>>212224940
The 70's episodes are top tier. Especially the ones with Robert Culp, and Patrick McGoohan.

finna eat some spicy chips

Drunk but still drinking

>>212225108
I'm eating crumbl cookie

>>212225125
robocop was made in 1987, you FUCKING zoomer

>>212225132
That's a movie, not TV

>>212225016
Yes. Missed out on sex during high school because of that.
>oh shes a hoe bro
>2 years later
>same guy is trying to get with her

Everything’s computer

Someone in my little patch of suburbs is having a party, I can hear the *untz untz untz untz untz*

>>212225125
currently watching a movie made in '78

>>212225152
I'M TIRED OF WAITING I WAS NEVER GOOD AT SPORTS SAVE THE GAMES FOR THE GIRL ON THE TENNIS COURTS

>>212225158
My post was poking fun at television shows made before 1990, not movies.
TV and film are very different mediums

>>212224944
Hawaii confirmed geniuses

>>212225141
batman the 1960 series
A team
muppets show
married with children

>>212225156
>I can hear the *untz untz untz untz untz*
This is what makes the untz untz untz

>>212225171
didn't ask, just wanted to tell you what I'm doing

I'm a burger who moved to Buenos Aires 2 years ago. I don't feel nostalgic for much about the US, but recently I realized I've taken for granted how many open spaces there are in the US. Parks, lakes, nature reserves, suburbs with spread out housing. Even stuff you don't think about like parking lots. They all give you room to breathe. In Buenos Aires it's a giant, densely-packed urban hellscape with completely closed city blocks. You're living this Pac-Man style existence where you're only ever in a building or on a sidewalk.

Cherish your local Walmart parking lot, burgers. You don't realize how nice it truly is.

>>212225176
The Outer Limits
The Munsters
The Twilight Zone
The Adams Family
Mr. Ed
Tales From the Crypt
Little House on the Prairie
The Andy Griffith Show

>>212225148
I feel you man. I have 2-3 friends, but they are pretty chill. Btw this incel is also trying to get her. but he's so pathetic that everyone knows that its not gonna work. a girl friendzoned him and he keeps telling everyone that he's dating her. incels are sad people tbf

>>212225226
alright now youre really goin into the 'unc' shit, dad

>>212225131
can i have one

>>212225226
>>212225176
and columbo

posted facts about faggots on a X post and some libtard wanted me to give him the studies
i didn't feel like searching for links to give him because even though what i posted was all facts, i don't tend to save links of things i do research on
but perhaps i will start doing that in the near future

semen

>>212225226
The honeymooners is funny

>>212225246
Sure but you have to come to me in Southern California

>>212225192
Today at a local Walmart, a mother got arrested for leaving her one month old baby and her eight year old locked ina hot car
>>212225243
Shut the fuck up bitch

I SAID I AM DRINKING AND DRUNK

0-4 burger
5-9 burrito

>>212225258
>i don't tend to save links of things i do research on
how convenient

>>212225261
That's the "right to the moon" show right? I've gotta watch it one of these days

>>212225318
Nice

errybody STFU Im watching muppets show

business idea: semen and creampies

>>212225280
I’m sorry to hear that

May have to switch back to a wired mouse, tired of these batteries always dying on me

>>212225355
I've had the same wired mouse for the past 15 years

>>212224937
holy shit that thing is pathetic, it's so disgustingly fat and stupid looking i thought it had down syndrome for a minute.
it has a child too. someone fucked that thing to completion.

america what the FUCK are you doing please goddamn get it together.

>>212225286
0-4 breakfast burrito
5-9 beef burrito

>>212225380
P

>>212225390
https://youtu.be/wi-H6ohY37k?si=8F5NaeIx6_JXewNj

>>212225372
I switched because the job I had let me bring my laptop, and the trackpad was screwed up
I can't remember why I switched on my desktop too, I hope I didn't throw out the old mouse

>>212225385
0-4 cheesecake chimichanga
5-9 churro

Why not just use a random number generator

My coworker just made fun of me for not having a girlfriend at 29 (which is young). But like he doesn't even know I've never had a girlfriend. Are people just supposed to have one all the time? What the fuck.

>so this is /dum/
>no statler, its /cum/
>I like my name better, the name fits the bill
>DOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>212224868 (OP)
It looks like your mom's ass prolapsing after /cum/ runs a train on her.

>>212225439
3/10

>>212225435
>Are people just supposed to have one all the time?
yea that's the expectations from a normie

Iva STUNS in new photos

>>212225470
>I'd rather take the 5:30 out of here!
>DOOOHOHOHOHO

The jew Alan dershowitz is now campaigning to lower the age of consent hahahaha
This is the same jew who was Jeffery epstiens lawyer

Im canadian

>>212225516
my condolences

>>212225516
t. Raj Patel

I am going to /cum/

>>212225516
grim

the jeet landlord I lived with my first year of college was named patel

>>212225516
Our country is so fucking over. The country we remember is gone and never coming back.

>>212224868 (OP)
>Haven't spoken to my ex in years
>Mom calls me to help her
>She says I need to help
>I tell her she deserves it because she left me
>Still given shit for this

>See's them from down the ally, ride is bike up to them even though there was enough space on the side to pass through
>demands they move and call them names
>gets crowded, pushes a little girl down
>the rest drag him off his bike and break it a part
>one kicks him in the butt, one calls him a fag
>threatens to tell their mommas and runs off crying
pathetic display tbqh, he deserved it
>>212225435
Yes you're expected to have your shit together at all times and that includes having a partner all the time

>>212225565
i will never understand this, people who think somehow you have an attachment to this person even after the relationship has long since ended

>but anon we dated!
>and then i dumped you to fuck black guys!!
>please help me now!!
>Tyrone took my car and I don't have any way to bring little N'Darius to the pediatrician!

N

O

The indian who owned the gas station i worked at was named rokesh
(He went by rocky)

>>212225536
Yo

>>212225595
lol

Just heard media reports of groups of men coming to a local outdoor public pool near where I live to perv on women. Guess their nationality.

>>212225628
canadian

*BEEEEEEEEEELCH*

>>212225638
N

>>212225628
>>212225636
I can only imagine

when i don't drink my heart beats really fast and my head feels like it's vibrating

>>212225628
Jeets and the people who say that they're not jeets, even though we'd still call them jeets.

what the fuck is swede chef doing to this chicken

>>212224868 (OP)
What is the point in having a shell if it’s soft?

>>212225660
white folks complain about the curry smell and then cry when they wash themselves make up your damn mind

>>212225676
joever

>>212225676
https://youtu.be/Kj0N-GJZLMc
Probably the hardest I've ever laughed at a video

>>212225002
Why, so they can act like even bigger libtards and eventually fully replace themselves with Turks? The Nazis tried to be friends with America, but ZOGmerica slapped away their hand of friendship. Now the EUhomos make fun of you.

>>212225681
Soft-shelled Turtle
Retains some protection but has a leathery shell for faster swimming and better mobility in water compared to hard-shelled turtles.

>>212225595
Little N’Garius Sneed is a good boy who dindu muffin

>>212225789
Wholesome <3

>>212225678
Choking it

penis itches

The cheesecake chimichanga is not so appetizing…why is that whipped cream so watery

>>212225789
women in NYC are disgusting looking smdh

>>212225857
Could've done without the jimmies

>>212225876
those are not jimmies they're sprinkles

jimmies are little licorice things covered in candy that look like sprinkles

>>212225857
The heat of the chimichanga probably caused it.

>>212225876
>>212225884
>>212225893
>Oh God…

>>212224868 (OP)
i thought it was a turtule's asshole

Why would they keep the crust on the cheesecake and just slap it in a tortilla. Too much crust with the tortilla this thing sucks!

New Yorker cartoon

>>212225962
>>212225454

>>212225968
I am going to do it.

>>212225963
Give it to me, I'll eat it

They're saying that the zombies in 28 Years Later has a huge dong

>>212225968
tfw simultaneously unripe and getting a bit mealy

>>212225931
>that suppressor

my god the Sopranos really did take liberties with the guns in that series

My state invented the humble hamburger
You owe all hamburger related memories in your life to me

Germans claims they invented the hamburger

>>212226051
It's literally just the hamburg steak put on bread for Germoid travelers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u31FO_4d9TY

OFFICIAL thread theme

>>212226051
it's literally called the hamburger because it was the style of sandwich invented and served in Hamburg Germany, what is so hard to understand and accept about this?

>>212226026
That one is really funny. Maybe the silliest out of all movies and TV

>>212226034
Are you referring to Louis’ Lunch of CT

>>212226080
That's wrong though
Obviously the name traces back to hamburg Germany but that style of sandwich originated in America
Get over it

>>212226101
*and hamburg patties

Getting tinted windows and ppf on my new car next week

>>212226145
You're brown

>>212225192
how come you moved there?

fighting the need to poo

>>212226075
Destroy Denmark and Belgium.

>>212226145
What kind of tint are you going with?

>>212226151
Just 35% not some dark shit

>>212226172
This is the future you chose

anyone else a former normie who slowly descended into loserdom in his mid 20s?

>>212226195
No, i am a former neet having a "glow up" as the young niggers say.

>>212226222
No glow-up for you until you stop being racist

I was never normal but I tried
Then I watched American Psycho and got to that scene where he says he just wants to fit in and it really resonated with me, so I decided to stop trying so hard before I drove myself crazy like that freak
There are so many people walking around that normal really is subjective, most don't care if you're a little off anyway

Tinted windows are illegal here

>>212226188
Ceramic, I’m think 35% all around. Maybe a little darker on the rear and 50-70% on windshield but not sure yet

5% tint so you can't see up in my window

>>212226101
>>212226119
just because you people are morbidly obese from eating hamburgers doesn't mean you invented them.

you didn't invent french fries either and yet you eat a quadrillion tons of them every year.

not reading that seethe

entire world is so grim

>>212226228
I am but a simple race realist

>>212226239
It’s not legal on the windshield here and only legal to a certain % on the other windows but from what I’ve heard most people don’t get pulled over or ticketed for it unless you get stopped for other nonsense

>>212226239
>Tianted buttholes are illegal here

>>212224868 (OP)
Vulgar

>>212226322
How about the tainted blood scandal in which allowing fags to donate blood caused thousands of people to get HIV
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Commission_of_Inquiry_on_the_Blood_System_in_Canada

>>212225857
That’s what whipped cream degrades into

>Get Captcha
>Please wait 120 seconds
>do something else for 121 seconds then come back
>Get Captcha
>Please wait 120 seconds

>>212226239
it's insane how tinted windows can get here in cali
you literally can't see inside some vehicles, it's just pitch black
i get that that's kind of the point but I don't even understand how you can see out of the windows
and it's usually minorities that do this to their windows

>>212226375
rip posting horrific things on phone data
fixed ips are gay

>nooOOoOO you HAVE to poo in the loo
make me.

Fail to see how striking down the 14th amendment is in any way "dangerous." First off, they're not even going after white people yet, and it'll be MONTHS (at the earliest) before they start hunting down political enemies of the state and people who refuse to attend the Latin mass.

There's no way in hell we'll be seeing gooners and 4chan posters sent to Guantanamo Bay any time before 2030.

>>212226386
It is a mixed bag
I bought a used car with dark tints and it sucked at night but was so nice in summer during the day.

>>212226366
AND THEY GOT RID OF THAT PROTECTION BECAUSE TRUDEAU IS A CLOSET FAGGOT.

>>212226391
Tbf you could argue that he corrected himself over time. Good trait to have

>>212226462
Cope

why did canuckians elect the son of a communist dictator as their PM?

turned down tonight
doesn't feel great

>>212226513
turned what down

>>212226508
He promised them weed

Got a sister that became a fundamentalist Christian flat-earther. Her IQ is in the 140s but she sends me the most ridiculous things. Does this happen in your county

>>212225192
You know there are other places in Argentina other than CABA.

>>212226548
The only flat earthers I’ve ever interacted with IRL were morons

>>212226548
>140 iq
Nope

>>212226548
could i have your sister as well but as a wife

>>212226548
A relative is decently intelligent, don't know their IQ, but talking to them for an extended period of time about anything segways into red pill babble that just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of their being

i’m obsessed with the girl reading this

>>212226548
Does she need a racist Christian high IQ boyfriend? I have a good job and when we get married and buy a house I could let you have a room for yourself if you want

>>212226718
>racist Christian high IQ boyfriend
women dont find this cute even in an ironic way

>>212226738
It’s unironic and I’m a man I don’t need to be cute

>>212226738
>women dont find this cute even in an ironic way

as if you know anything about what women like you miserable little incel beta

>>212226738
Being a Nazi is kind of like driving a Lamborghini. It’s costly, but if you can afford to do it and still have your life together, then it signals high status.

chuds hate on women getting scribble patch tattoos but they at least look better than a tribal tattoo or a sleeve or some shit

>>212226774
exceptional explanation Anon
>>212226805
faggots simp for women with tattoos; real men know they're a sign she's trash. same with girls who vape - dead giveaway that she's midwit garbage.

>>212226805
>chuds hate on women getting scribble patch tattoos
Chud here: I don’t even know what that means

the crazies is possibly the worst name for a movie ever, the name alone probably dropped the movie potential success by like 60%

Do people actually browse 4chan on their phone lol? jfc

why do women stuff their asses with plastic
instead of doing heavy squats at the gym

>>212226937
I browse it on my phone in public

dont understand this world anymore

>>212226957
pathetic behaviour

>>212226988
browsing 4chan in any manner is pathetic

Protip: AdBlock and ublock block tubis ads.

>>212227022
ublock alone usually suffices for me

I can hear the Disneyland fireworks yet again

we out here

remember when walking dead was this huge thing

>>212227053
I never got into it.

knees weak, balls are heavy

>>212227059
The comics are really good
Way better than the show

>>212227050
What’s that

>>212227053
I’m glad that the zombie fad went away; was never into that shit

If a woman takes HRT with a baby in her womb, would that cause the baby to be born a hermaphrodite

>>212227066
yoshi's island, obviously

>>212227066
the amount of stupid zombie games I had to download and play on steam with my friends over a decade ago...

>>212227067
Leduc trying to figure out how to reproduce lol

for me, it was boxhead the rooms

if I was a boat I'd be a tug boat

>>212227064
I read the comics in high school. I stopped at Rick's "WE are the walking dead" speech, not out of choice but because they didn't have the rest of the comics in the school library

>>212227097
I expect an attack from the sea.

>>212226626
Every immediate family member of mine has been tested and we're all 130+. She's the highest of us all and thinks the earth is ~7000 years old.

Thoughts on Dead Rising

Just now

>>212227081
So true

>>212227110
If that's true, then IQ is a bullshit measurement, because your sister is clearly incapable of critical thinking.

>>212227100
Okay Chris-Chan

>>212227112
https://voca.ro/18CqGdb36jtY

>>212226937
I do more than 90% of the time lol, its just so much more convenient

>>212226172
Women have been trying to jam people with wheelchairs in to media for kids for 50 years and I'm sick of it.

>>212227118
People with high IQs can still come to stupid conclusions due to non-IQ issues like autism or schizophrenia

My bad.

>>212226937
What of it

>>212227097
i played this one as a child

Loco.

If you had the chance, would you move to Finland?

>>212227062
cummin in his pants already, time for beddy

>>212226193
How do you know that guy personally saw to it that wheelchairs would be put into WoW

How much would you have to be paid to click one of those vocaroos?

>>212227159
MAKIN MOVIES making friends and FIGHTIN ROUND THE WORLD

Anyone playing that handicapped basketball game on Switch

@

>>212227169
I don't purchase consoles due to owning a pc.

The goat noise?

>>212226508
Back in 2015? I wonder if a copy of his platform in that election is easily available. If you find it, it's a fairly boilerplate lib platform for the time with nothing controversial about it aside from the dude weed. It included a promise to reform Canada's broken "first past the post" election system. As soon as he won he casually brushed away that promise. Like breaking a campaign promise was an inconsequential thing to him, and that he didn't really understand why anyone would care. Of course he broke the promise because fixing our fucked up system would have made it harder for the libs to stay in power.

In general he won because the conservatives had fallen out of favor at the time, it was on schedule for the colors to trade for a while, Trudeau is handsome and charismatic, there were no screaming red flags to the average voter. The only hints were his father's history and his WEF connections.

Would you date a 4'11 woman?

>>212227147
I'm thinking about Iceland tbhfam

i just busted 2 nuts and that makes me hungry

Slit the sider.

>>212227209
I'd date any woman that acknowledged my existence at this point

>>212227209
Yep

>>212227216
>>212227219
What if she was from Peru and barely spoke English?

You know that... This isgarbage right?

Glowie trying to root out pedos

Ok, I am sad.

>>212227239
She's a WOMAN

>>212227209
My favourite gf height is 5’9

accidentally inhaled a bedbug

I was watching loliboard at X Games earlier today and one of the girls went splat really bad on the concrete. Knocked out cold and had a seizure. It's been a while since I've seen that at a pro skate contest.

What's the price for a grave yard because I saw it, ma lady???

>>212227265
did she die?

>>212227233
what is this line of questioning?

>>212227276
No, she was whisked off to hospital. No official update yet.

>>212227239
>>212227279
I honestly didn't mean it like that kek
It's just someone I matched with on bumble, she's 23

>>212227289
this nigga just said whisked off LOL

ideally i'd have children with a 6'4 woman

>>212227313
hell yeah, same here

>>212227317
he can do better than a slag like that

>>212227313
>>212227316
I’m 6’3 and see women who are taller than me like once or twice a decade

must be nice being a rich neet

took another double flusher, feels like Im cutting absolute logs

just want to say this snake >>212225016 ruined my whole night. i studied up a bit. gonna drink a few beers and sleep. i am never talking to this nigger again.

>>212227209
Is she ugly?

>>212227435
Is it a dealbreaker if she isn’t ugly?

weedgooning

>>212227458
There is a definately some issue.

>>212227457
I'd prefer a Gelfling over a Hobgoblin, but at the end of the day I'd rather the love and touch of another human being over not having it

>>212227476
>a Gelfling
lol

playing dark forces 2 again because thief is filtering me HARD

i hate immigrants only because so many of them are brown

i look at myself and im like brown why is that

>>212227571
you did something to anger shiva in your past life

>>212224868 (OP)
I thought it was taking a shit

no one cares about what i play so i guess i wont talk about it anymore fuck you

>>212224895
I'd blow my brains out if I had to participate in this every day

>>212227559
I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice??

generation zombie is mind controlled by screens

>>212227598
Sorry, buddy?

>>212227598
no no i care dark forces 2 right? that's so cool

>>212227583
sucks
make me normal

>>212227598
Maybe if you were playing an eroge or something I'd care but some boomer Star Wars game? C'mon.

Money is the root of all evil

>>212227615
last time you said you prefer jedi outcast

>>212227627
why would i play eroge when i can watch porn

Nah.

>>212227641
>Why would I expand my mind by reading when I could watch reality TV

might kms soon enough

>>212227659
I won't rat you out if you promise to kill me first

>>212227677
i wont do that. sorry

>>212227684
I'm calling the police and your grandparents

>>212227659
stop using metric faggot

wish i had someone to talk to

>>212227762
do you want to chat? i’d be happy to give you my discord or something