Thread 212551978

out to dinner edition

BOOM

Havent washed in weeks, need the essence of my foreskin bottled up into a perfume, it's almost an inotxicating mix of skips and cheese, very pungent, sweet and sharp, but floral

>>212551942
Do you not think you just have a harsh perception of yourself? I'm sure it's not a normal experience for many who don't have an inferiority complex

>>212552025
What Abdul gets before they take his dear Mummy and give her a bastard child in the toilets x

>>212551978 (OP)
asian slags

>>212552085
why do you call them asians while nobody else does

>>212552025
Rotated that freak around the z-axis

fuck google

Not all of his gimmicks are absolute megahits, fair enough, but we have to give heatherposter his plaudits - the Muslim Marriage CV gimmick is absolute gold. He's knocked it out of the park.

Gimmick of the Year contender perhaps?

I never had sex but I'm only 32 so there's still time for me haha still plenty of time

I for one am not tired of seeing arse crack.

>>212552081
it's not real mate

I'm a strong independent man who don't need no woman

>>212552112
because they're the most relevant asians to the uk
you're closer to orientals, so that's an asian to you

screaming sent that baldy headed poof into the milky way

>>212552112
Confuse the masses, lumping in Abdul the 40IQ mirpuri rapist with Ching Zhang with an IQ of 140

>>212552123
less than a year and your knob will fall off

>>212552025
Love his mum trying to stop all the violence she wasn’t doing shit when her son was on his feet punching the police

>>212552112
because they are from asia? other anglosphere countries have more east asians than south asians so obviously when they say "asian" it means more chinese/japanese than indian/pakistani.

toil freaks

>>212552119
I'm not heathermong, but I agree it's a great contender

cannae sleep

>>212552119
It's not a gimmickm it's mythoyookay reposting them from a tiktok and i started it last month

>>212552119
I mean this in the nicest way possible:
kill yourself

>>212552179
love paying for this cretin to exist

>>212552123
stay optimistic, everyday is a day closer

rorke thinking pakistan being on the same continent as china is an unproven conspiracy theory

>>212552166
iranians are from asia too but nobody calls them asian

>>212552215
different tectonic plate though isn't it

the government must act

death heat has come again

>>212552250
it lush

>>212552230
They're just Indians

who has shagged the most women in history?

>>212552184
Yeah I'm not heatherposter either just a neutral observer. Hope he keeps it up!
>>212552198
Why would I kill myself when I'm happy and not depressed?

very annoying that you can't use the term "orientals" anymore because it's considered racist
can't simply call them asians because brits seem to be confused about that
have to say "east asians and southeast asians" instead if you want to refer to all slanty eyeses collectively, and that's too much of a mouthful
why can't we just call them orientals for fucks sake?

i just realised that it's just a carryover term from the major colonies britain had in asia at the time
thanks

decided to add some humour to our convo
sent a joke
no response in over 24 hours
its so fucking over

>>212552277
me, 2

Rorke reading about white murderers like Kyle Clifford, Wayne Couzens, Ian Huntley, and Jake Davison, and saying "fake news - only brown people commit murder"

>>212552277
big john

>>212552230
If they were the dominant ethnic group from asia in your country you might

>>212552282
you very clearly are

>>212552277
genghis khan maybe

>>212552150
Her hatred for trans women is misdirected misandry

>>212552306
yawn

rorke hating the fact that we refer to south asians simply as "asians" always tickles me. it literally always gets an angry (you) from him when you drop it into casual conversation instead of using the p-slur

>>212552313
that's because nobody wished me luck

my name is pink and i'm really glad to meet you

if you had a smorgasboard of infinite 10/10 women before you, how many do you think you could get shagged in 24 hours before your nuts were coughing up dust?

>>212552291
timmy overstepped a boundary yet again oh my days timmy you never learn

>>212552373
Hate her stupid voice

>>212552381
24

how the fuck can I hear myself on the phone but whoever is on the other end can't hear me?

>>212552373
never heard a single song from this woman and hope I never do

my bum cheek hurts from injecting those steroids the other day

>>212552373
hate how she's super intelligent and knows it

>>212552449
play stupid games
win stupid prizes

>>212552381
my refractory period is about 10 minutes and usually bust in about 2 let's say three per hour so about 70

>>212552373
i keep singing this song in my head it's so damn catchy

Might start playing footy again but it's been over 15 years

i used to think the world went into fast forward mode when i fell asleep. i would imagine all the chinamen suddenly working at a fever pitch.

I actually like heathermongs gimmicks.

>>212552512
shut it heathermong

>>212552381
none, I'd be too shy

honestly wonder if my barber cut my hair really short at the crown just to fuck with me
saw my scalp in the mirror and just had a panic attack

Too many women getting into chess because they think it will mask the fact that they are thick as shit and saw le based kween Netflix show about it

>>212552512
What's the matter, big guy?

You're not spamming as much as usual

Did something happen?

ay bruh this got me FUCKED UP y'kno

bit of rdr2 toil before burrito toil i think

>>212552534
whatever helps you cope

>>212552540
Have to be cynical yh? Can’t just be because they were inspired to

>>212551978 (OP)
Drinking coffee and job hunting but sadly my only prospects is that I interviewed for every position available at a supermarket. If I get rejected I am gonna lay on the roads

>>212552512
*Heatherposter but yep, him and Belgposter are the creative powerhouses that keep this general going. Like most geniuses they aren't appreciated in their own time

feeling a bit self-destructive again

>>212552476
a sore bum is a fair price to pay for mad gains

>>212552150
george who?

>>212552633
What's the matter, big guy?

You're not spamming as much as usual

Did something happen?

>>212552342
Yes you find your fictions more entertaining than reality don't you

Bought an iPad in the Amazon Prime Day deal. I can't be trusted with money I just buy random bollocks. Didn't even need one.

>>212552480
your refractory period is likely to increase the more times you spaff in a short period of time

feeling particularly runtish today

Muslim marriage CV is not a heather gimmick

>>212552620
the hair's just under an inch in length. seeing scalp at that length is normal

>>212552665
Did you mean to reply to me..? I rarely post here at all, much less spam.

i see the porn charter thing is still doing fuck all. just don't think it's policeable iiabqhwyl

gymtoil complete

>>212552540
>Too many women getting into chess
>saw le based kween Netflix show about it
Did you come from a time machine from 2020? Wait till you watch Tiger King

>>212552748
Who do you think you're fooling?

just done an epic programming sesh

any gluten free vegan man in

>>212552768
still wasting your time on your brosplit?

>>212552025
Love how the cucked media started making out like it was police brutality, then revealed the pakis attacking the police and other people and went quiet.

>>212552788
It was relevant to the image posted, dogshit zingers flying out today

>>212552664
Boy George

>>212552820
still seething?

oh no not our greg

felt quite a bit of the fatigue today, if you get my meaning

>>212552857
always knew he a wrong un

>>212552845
no you keep hiting your muscle groups once a week lad check back in a year with your barely noticeable progress

>>212552853
Mad how cultures view beauty. She is way more attractive before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10j4rU0ltG4
for me its this banger

>>212552857
what sort of claims

so this is rorke

>>212552875
it all makes sense now

>>212552857
never trust a slaphead

>>212552704
Don't have to spaff though do I so I wanna change my answer just do one pump per woman and I could probably get over ten thousand shagged

>>212552889
keep crying lol

>>212552631
please come to connecticut... we're worried about you...

>>212552903
he kept getting his willy out singing the theme to trumpton and doing the windmill

>>212552942
need her to fart on me

>>212552951
is it arm day tomorrow?

For me it's this banger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSbckxaaE5M

>>212552903
A participant on the BBC's Saturday Kitchen - a show at the time that was produced in-house by the BBC - who says that, during a dinner ahead of filming in 2002, Wallace put his hand under the table and onto her groin, saying: "Do you like that?"

A university student who says she met him in a nightclub with friends in 2013. She says after she asked to take a photo with him, he reached under her skirt and grabbed and pinched her bottom

A woman who says, at an industry ball in 2014, he put his hand up her dress and groped her

Another junior worker, in addition to Alice, who says in 2012 he dropped his trousers in front of her and wasn't wearing underwear

A number of men who say they witnessed Wallace making inappropriate sexual comments

>>212552943
the spaffing is mandatory i'm afraid
while not explicitly stated, it was heavily implied

And this is our son Rorke. He's quite the dam builder.

>>212552857
The fact that complaints were made about his inappropriate comments back in 2005 makes me believe he was saying some proper weird stuff. For someone to complain back then it would have had to have been pretty horrific and constant

>>212552998
Always building dams. Blocking off the stream of life. Never building connections. Never forging bonds.

That's our Rorke.

band i like that made a really good album dropped a new single and its .. well.. it friggen sucks

>>212552998
rorke at the border

feel so privileged to have been born as a heterosexual white man with good manners and a big willy

>>212552994
Okay then my revised answer is probably 24
One an hour seems doable

>>212553034
can see why your writing career never took off lol

Favourite British pornstars?

Listening to Mezzanine by Massive Attack

>>212552998
mad how they just do that instinctively

The Indian subcontinent has a lot of people

BUT NOT OUR RORKE
COULDN'T BE PRECIOUS RORKEY

cancelled my gym membership

Mental how he actually got mindraped by that post and is trying to pretend he never even exist lmfao

get the fucking retards employed

hook them up to a big stone wheel that grinds grain or something

>>212553069
Delta White

>>212553044
one of my favourite bands in the world ever just put out an absolute shitter of an album. found it quite depressing.

>>212553069
alessa savage, lena franks, samantha bentley, stella cox (i honestly have no idea if she's british, she has an english accent but apparently she's italian or something?)

>>212553069
“Oh good heavens I’m arriving”

“Go on love, spaff on me minge”

The very thought of British porn is grim.

>>212553099
far too many people in bangladesh

>>212552875
Lol

>>212553069
are bonnie blue

>>212553083
tip top album that

>>212553099
mad how we were able to subjugate both the chinese and the indians
you'd think that with their billions of years here on earth they would be top dogs but no

im voting for the beaver party
theyre going to get the english channel dammed and get the small boats stopped
and bring back common sense fish and wood chips

smelly little incel i is

Gregg posting was a good gimmick

Bring that one back

>>212553069
they're all shit
used to like a lola gatsby wank sometimes but even then her face is a bit grangled

>>212553140
THEY GOT IT ALL BLOCKED OFF

>>212553119
He's on about the brown biomass. Btw.

creg

employing a man named Mr Fish to do my taxes

mad how british newspapers used to include pictures of 16 year old girls with their baps out

>>212553121
what album?

unleashing the most heinous ridiculously sulfuric downright EVIL farts in the (very) smelly childhood bedroom

Getting too hot
BLOCK OUT THE FUCKING SUN
USE A BIG UMBRELLA TO BLOCK IT OUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

>>212553246
prefer not to say

>>212553223
Mad how they used to have pictures of 15 year olds with tits nearly out and a big countdown to their 16th birthday

Id make a great bf if a girl just gave me a chance

im even attractive and all

need to leave here. some of you lads are alright but some are very bitter and I feel like I'm becoming bitter as well

Why are Aussies so evil?

>>212553265
those were happier times

>>212553140
this is has happened in my colon

zero poos for six days now

eating a dog

>>212553258
unlucky lad
middle of winter here, you see x
currently lovely and comfy inside all wrapped up in blankets xx
couldn't be more cosy rn ahaha xxx

>>212553264
Cmon tell us

>>212553307
boongs can't handle the banter

>>212553296
not too fussed about the bitterness and inceldom
it's the outright paedophilia that's getting to me

love em when they're 14-18 but i'd be lying if i said this wasn't the perfect build of woman

>>212553290
same but i'm not attractive myself

>>212553223
>>212553265
nothing wrong with it

>>212553140
wonder what beaverberg's thinking, does he have conscious thoughts and know what he's doing or is he just a robot

>>212553166
;)

>>212552150
https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/jk-rowlings-takedown-of-boy-george-was-a-joy-to-behold/

>>212553119
He's right. The average low paid job is far more complicated than those of 50 years ago.

And it's not going to get any easier. The demands for complexity keep increasing.

>>212553322
Yeah but your winter is like 18c

>>212553350
bet you're gorgeous hun xoxo

>>212553346
cor

>Solo travelling
>28 years old
Oof. You've got to have packed it in by then. It's so transparent what you're up to.

>>212553346
why are you fucking freak nonce cunts so comfortable with outright admitting being literal wrongun paedophiles

>>212553321
kek this a chinaman

wondering how to get a job if even the disability job helper I've got helping me can't even help me

>>212553290
same

>>212553322
*snuggles next to you*

>>212553264
keep your secrets then...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV5BBjOUw_c
heres the new single i was talking about its grating and boring, crazy because they dropped best rock album of the year in 2023
listening to wire now

>>212553389
omg

based

>>212553296
I'm sweet as a sugar plum

right then

renaming my wifi network "free the paedos" for a laugh

>>212553368
Mental how Boy George did all of that and nobody cared, he still has a career and gets to go on Lorraine Kelly's chat show to gush about trannies, but JK Rowling is persona non grata for saying blokes can't magically change into women.

>>212553431
yes unc

>>212553443
should be castrated instead

>>212553431
Did you get this fetish because your father groomed your mother?

>>212553408
14-18 isn't paedophilia mate they're sexually mature females in their prime

Idea for a /brit/ game, post increasingly illegal things - edging closer and closer until everyone gives up

kind of like bogies

looking at gay porn while bombarding my willy with boxing combos until i stop having gay thoughts

>>212553246
nah don't fancy being bullied for my musical taste but they were always fast punk rock sort of like frenzal and they just did this slow shitty dad-metal album and now they're ruined for me.

>>212553383
sa, vic, tas all get pretty cold
single digit max temps aren't uncommon

>>212553452
really is mate
think it speaks to the level of sexism that still exists in society

>>212553499
Well, someone beat you to the punch. That mong who posts creepshots of teenagers

britishers on the ropes

>>212553408
It's Heatherpedo what do you expect

>>212553495
shut the fuck up you horrible warped cunt
if it's not wrong then go and admit this to your mother and see how she reacts

>>212553408
normal in england mate

hullo
yup, ive got a thick club of pusling gristle
im pushing it into your soft warm gob
youre talking dirty past the shaft
and im cumming so hard the spunks flying out of your eyes
okay, bye

>>212553499
I've posted dangerous stuff when I'm drunk and keep pushing the limit over and over again. I wake up the following day expecting the police to show up and getting super anxious about it, aha

Get him Bruce

>>212553558
you talk to your mum about sex do you? sick freak

>>212553558
I had a 16 year old gf when I was 21 and my mum supported it

>>212553501
tbf even if you posted the best song ever made the losers here would find some way to shit on it

>>212553495
nonce patrol has been dispatched

>>212553495
vile nonce

twenty eight year olds

:)

>>212553593
and perfectly legal as well

>>212553574
i'm not gonna shag you mate

>>212553623
Yeah? What about 28 year olds?

Wait.......you mean........

>>212553599
Women crack up at stuff like this

>>212553623
it's what every muslim is promised after death

on the beers now wahey!!!!!!

anyone down for some kfc

both batman and superman are apparently jewish

>>212553630
Why not?

Isn't 16 not legal if you're an adult? 18 perfectly fine.

>>212553659
is this real?

we would all shag that lets be honest

>>212553691
batman maybe
clark kent is a farmer's adopted son, not likely

>>212553691
superman is an alien

>>212553707
it's legal unless you're a teacher, police etc.
of course as we know everything that's illegal is bad and everything that's legal is good

>>212553686
fourteen zinger stackers if you dont mind lad x

>>212553707
>Isn't 16 not legal if you're an adult?
Not true, 16 is legal

>>212553744
>fourteen
Um

>>212553761
Liar

>>212553761
this is also my timeline

>>212553743
>>212553760
Pretty sure it's actually not. Something about Romeo and Juliet laws

ofcom on a mad one

>>212553763
Too old

Canadian Rorke memorising age of consent laws in every country

Get the Mizrahi perspective on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4hUgfHB5us

farting so much my house dislodges from its foundation and floats away

>>212553796
Pretty sure you're wrong and also a queer

just a bit of noncery. no big deal.

>Steam summer sale
>It's the middle of winter
are they stupid?

I dunno what to have for my tea. Could have pasta. Pizza. A sandwich. Some chicken nuggets and chips.

>>212553820
shagging 16 year olds is legal mate sorry that upsets your uptight puritan sensibilities

>>212553812
bizarre channel

>>212553817
not saying I wouldn't do it
Just doubting the ethical and legal ramifications

Love the feeling when you get all the work done for the week on Tuesday and you know the rest of the week you can just skive off and chill out and do whatever you want.

Fellow WFHchads will know this feeling very well :]

>>212553891
He's incredibly based. Big fan of the best known for IP personally

would eat shit out of priti patels brownie factory and let her smother me to death

might go round shop. might not. undecided

>>212553861
You don't shag anyone mate

>>212552831
Modern theatre, presented by the media.

growing weary of this faggot chud life

>>212553933
take your time

>>212553931
Had me crying with laughter first time I read that page

>>212553966
Same lad
Daily motions of life are tiring as fuck
Cooking, cleaning, eating, brushing teeth, taking a shite, showering
ALL FUCKING BORING.

did you watch the romeo and juliet film at school where you see her tits and she was only 16?

might get drunk and spam candids later

>>212553891
hate wiki jannies

>>212553929
great feeling. I'm on a skiving without doing any work at all kick at the moment but it's catching up with me.

>>212553959
saw this coming 25 posts ago sorry mate

>>212553796
You can be pretty sure all you want it doesn’t change anything

>>212553992
Vandalising wikis is hilarious
Used to vandalise any sneed related page back in the day personally.

>>212554015
i look forward to it x

>>212554074
yes cat

Wassup niggas

fuck all this noise. check 'em

350kg black women farting

its a horrorshow, the horse is brown

>>212554045
I had a pretty good one when Starmer was elected but it was reversed almost immediately

using spiritual torture techniques to make hollywood directors make more vampire movies

Currently listening to Virgin Killer by Scorpions

>>212553854
Silly aussie

>>212554164
um

>>212554149
Yeah?

farting blood onto my hands and smearing it all over the walls

Oh my god Heatherpedo please fuck off and die already you pathetic subhuman mistake

>>212554164
Illegal to own that album with that cover in Sweden.

popping to b&q after work to buy some goodhome bantry paint for my new WC panelling

my bum stinks like poo

>>212554149
They do nowadays
Sneed related articles are completely locked

>>212554221
>>212554249
classic aussie posts

>>212554217
Yeah

rubbing dog shit into my eyes

>>212554249
no it doesn't

>>212554238
blog on

>>212554164
Can't post Sebadoh's Bakesale album here

convinced the polish wife to sign the stop killing games initiative

>>212554268
shut the FUCK up!!!!!!!!!

dropping N bombs in greggs

replacing eggs in tesco with poo eggs made from my poo

dropping poos in greggs

>>212554355
Can I get your recipe?

smoking a cigarette on the toilet while doing a poo

When you are as lonely as me
Eating and sleeping are activities you look forward to most to in life

>>212554365
>>212554365
>>212554365

>>212554354
>rich men are paedophiles
yes we know

>>212554354
medium breasts

My new gimmick will be to imitate the Egyptbot, just giving a heads up lads for when you see lots of pointless replies coming from a UK flag x