Lauren Mayberry edition
Old >>212604619

I’m Haley’s spoiled, squishy baby and I love it!! I got my snacks, my naps, my cuddles—on demand . I’m soft, I’m chubby, and I wiggle when I’m happy . Haley says I’m her chunky little treat, and I believe her

I don’t walk—I waddle dramatically to the fridge like a lil’ prince . If I pout, Haley gives me extra cookies. If I giggle, I get kissed 10 times. And if I say “I’m baby,” guess what? I win.

I’m too spoiled to carry things, too full to move fast, and too loved to ever feel alone. Haley spoils me rotten—and I’ll cry if she stops. (I will cry. Loudly. On the floor. With snack crumbs everywhere.)

So yeah… I’m a fat lil’ baby henny and Haley is my queen and no one else gets to touch my belly or my snacks. Hmph!

>>212609291
shes fat now

>>212609283

bending forward when i fart so i smell them better

>>212609291
she is so basic looking

>>212609323
what a strange game

>>212609291
HayLujan is not for propaganda!! HayLujan is for sex!!!!!!

>>212609374
are you interested?

Gonna go outside for a ciggie.

my bussy is simulated

evens dark souls 3
odds gaylo

I smonk too many weed tonite :)

I just enjoy having long hair

>>212609718
how long is it
do you have feminine features?

>>212609746
It’s down past my shoulders. I look pretty young, but my features are quite masculine.

>>212609880
>my features are quite masculine

Middle of the night /cum/ hangout :)

raged and uninstalled dark souls 3 award

>>212610076
I'm in the work parking lot waiting to go in

>>212609998
Haha maybe I need to find some old hockey shoulder pads

>>212610107
I don't work :)

BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I'M GONNA LEAVE YA

Please don’t go… I’ll be soooo good… or sooo bad… whichever gets you to stay

Almost 4am.

>>212610498
Haha 5am here, goodnight BC(?)bro

>>212610553
>BC
Indeed.

drank a glass of milk and nothing happened.
i want my aryan card back

She looks like the ultimate bimbo doll. Like someone who’s been getting ritually penetrated in all three of her girly girl holes from the time she was born. It’s a vibe. For real tho, like she was born and bred to sell this image of a blank mindless cock sleeve. Personally I think “they” are selling this to the masses in order to make men transition into women. The elites want a one world government ruled by women for women where masculinity is severed from the equation. You can’t rule masculine men because they’re programmed to resist. What’s the solution? Breed masculinity out of the population by brainwashing everyone into thinking it’s the problem that needs to be solved. Everything is a gay jewish inversion of human nature whereby artifice is made to supplant what is natural. You could even choose to see it as alchemical. Mark my words, the future is extremely gay and female.

>>212610810
ugly bitch

>>212610810

Happy 4:20!

>>212610841
I will never un-remember it

>boss: hey Anon, we need to you work unlimited overtime to get this project done
>me: no
>boss: you're fired
>me: that's illegal
>boss: yes, you're right, silly me
one month later
>boss: you're fired for totally unrelated reasons
This is why people still find communism appealing you know

Stat holidays should be abolished along with weekends and birthdays.

>>212611541
>and birthdays.
but then people would live forever

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Dismal_Swamp
they finally gave virginia and north carolina a proper name

>>212611541
You should be shot along with all the landlords

>>212611722
You just lost your bathroom privileges, wagie!

Listening to Taylor Swift.

i feel so much better today for some reason

I'm white but I wish I were brown

say his name

>>212612133
what is (III) suppossed to mean?

Gio Scotti bending over and opening her holes

>>212612197
Rob Mac.

>>212612197
He's the third of his name
Rob Mac the third

after two weeks of not jerking off or watching porn, I started getting my morning boners

Glasses prescription dies in two week

I have 500 dollars in visa gift cards from donating blood

https://youtu.be/yE8Jswq1mAU?si=iHMSe_Rs5pDZDEn1&t=57

woke up with diarrhea

>>212613058
why did you sleep with him?

>>212612979
i thought about doing this but one time i gave blood and the lady brought out a giant needle that was the circumference of a branch and it was super uncomfortable

4 hours till force unleashed is going off sale gonna shoot momberg a text message

>>212613072
i didn't

>>212613235
But you woke up with him you slut

>>212612669
I jork it and have sex many times a week but I still get hella morning wood. What's wrong with you

Just slimed the back of the toilet bowl.

Trey where the FUCK are my groceries???????

My fingers smell so fucking bad I can't stop sniffing them

>>212613555
brian

>>212613608
No, I'm not a gay witch

>>212613473
he stole it

>>212613762
brian always talks about smelling his fingers

I'm a big gay 4 u

>>212613386
i've gone into public bathrooms and sat down to take a shit and all the straining got my dick hard which made the tip touch the toilet bowl

>>212613900
>all the straining got my dick hard
faggot

HITLER IS BACK AND HE'S PISSED

>>212613473
He got shot by a mexican on his way to deliver your groceries. He was going to use the money to go to community college

There was a seed in my poo this morning :)

>>>/pol/510001789
That's hilariously evil

>>212614253
The tenacity of life
:,)

She's so pretty

>>212614723
blonde hair and blue eyes are pretty

>>212614097
wasn't he pissed before tho?

>>212613473
Trayvon Martin?

Industrial civilization is driving me insane.

>>212613473
Do people really have their groceries delivered by blackpipo? How lazy can you be?

>>212613217
It’s like 5 bucks nigga just put your credit card in

>outlook has been down for hours
>need to login to outlook to login to the 'sino to place today's bets
skraight up bullshit happening rn nbs

>>212615155
i wish my Outlook was done, always a treat when I log in for wagslaving and can't get into my email. like a mini vacation from dipshits.

>>212615087
I do it weekly because I cbf to go into a grocery store and deal with the dregs of society
much easier to have a minority do it for me
they can't fuck around because most of them do it for a living and one bad rating can tank the amount of money they make

>>212615206
>they can't fuck around
Lol but they do tho.

>>212615206
Grocery stores are a good place to at least walk around and see other people, even if you aren't interacting. This kind of basic socializing is important so you don't turn into a full on retard. Plus you meet girls at the grocery store, it's the easiest thing to do honestly. Everyone eats food, just start talking to them about food. It's not even weird because they're buying it and women love to eat.

It's a chilly July day today :)

I get my own groceries because it’s the only time I see women irl

>>212615285
I've literally never had an issue with a grocery order

>>212615324
>going to a grocery store to talk to women
there are numerous better places I go to do that including but not limited to
>bookstores
>climbing gym
>gym

I regret flattening my cock every day for 2 years

>>212615380
Book stores are full of weird blue haired goons in my experience, or retarded adult babies who still read Harry Potter. Gyms are full of hoes or fat broads. Climbing gym is a new one for me, I'll have to take your word for it.

I hate visiting customers
2 hour drive to spend 15 minutes there and then they still make me wait for approval for a week when their inspection should take an hour

>>212615460
Climbing gyms are good because they filter for fit people but typically less vain ones than you would find in a weightlifting gym

>>212615380
>>212615540
they're our generation's crossfit

>>212615540
This makes sense, probably get more normal outdoorsy types than the annoying instathots too. I've considered climbing up onto some womens' balconies to talk to them but a gym might be simpler.

The new Superman is a chosennite :/

>>212615590
I want a roided crossfit gf
le born in the wrong generation ):

With a 4 inch long clitoris

>>212615615
plenty of women still do crossfit, the only barrier to entry is paying retarded amounts of money to be in the class

hello

>>212615663
it always seemed like a dudebro scam IMO, idiots throwing money out the window to get screamed at and flip over tires. just join the army ffs they'll even pay you for the time.

>>212615737
Good day my dear, how long is your clitoris?

>>212615766
Official crossfit mascot, Uncle Rhabdo

>>212615766
it basically is
ironically the "functional" training is entirely dysfunctional in comparison to conventional lifting
I support things that get people active so I like it for that, but it is just paying an absurd amount of money to do retarded exercises (that you could simply program yourself) in a group of likeminded people at its core

>>212615797
Very grim.

>>212615801
A lot of fitness training isn't even about the fitness it's for socializing. Zumba classes and spinning classes are for women to hang out and cluck like hens. Same with yoga, they all get together and drink wine and talk about their ex husbands together. Gyms are super cringe now, I bought all my own equipment years ago and just use it in my basement. I know not everyone has that option, but so many do and they still choose to go to a stinky gym.

I HATE MFERS WHO SOCIALIZE AT THE GYM

>>212616027
I was a homegymfag for a few years til I had to fuck off to an apartment
I still lift at home but I'm limited with no rack, still massively prefer it to a public gym though

Is there a name for this type of messaging style?

It's the exact form of stuff two separate brain rotted boomers send me on a daily basis, but come through twitter posts they send me links to.

It seems to resonate extremely effectively with a huge swath of the population, and even here on 4chan as well.

>>212616087
Just get a thicc gf and lift her up and down, you can stack plates by feeding her butter and ice cream.

I just ended things with my fiancee after she refused and kept making excuses for not losing weight even though we had the talk 2 years ago and multiple times since. I think I did the right thing and stayed true to myself, but I feel empty inside. Shit hurts.

>>212616256
I yearn for a /fit/ gf but I have like 400lb in plates still
just gotta get creative with it

>>212616385

eating eggos for breakfast

>>212616484
i recently went and bought a bunch of stuff i always wanted as a kid but never got to enjoy, like sugary cereals and eggos.

very disappointing, it all tasted like cardboard.

>>212616567
I know. its sad that honey buns taste like shit to me now

>>212615600
Superman has always been a Jew. Its first writers were Jews, and the stories are adaptations of the Talmud.

>>212616428

I have the invirtation that you sent me

>>212616648
Tbf almost all comic book writers were chosennites BUT STILL

>>212616648
why do jews always have such wild stories that are just delusions of grandeur? David and Goliath? Superman? Probably some other really wild and unbelievable stories I'm sure.

well if dem boy bad not bad after we
nah can't lay a hand on none of my g's

>>212616911
fk tier post

>>212616911
It would be really funny if that were one of Rad’s coworkers pulling a false flag prank to get him in shit

>>212616911
her feet are nasty
t. footfag

>>212617016
go back to twitter and stay there you obnoxious retarded oxygen-thieving faggot
nobody cares about your twitter screenshots, nobody cares about your posts, nobody wants you here

>>212617093
cry harder

drinking covfefe

>>212615600
>>212616648
>>212616790
>>212616798
You all reminded me of this book

>>212617016
what's their point here

>>212617193
white people are the dying natives who will get wiped out because of their weakness

>delusional man with unbelievable superpowers
>but during the day he's a humble (((journalist)))
>they can't resist having him work in (((media)))

actually kek'd

>>212617218
what are you doing to solve that?
just posting on 4chan day in and day out? lol

>>212617277
i don't give a fuck i'm indian

>>212617293
ah born a failure, unfortunate
better luck next life

>>212617304
don't put yourself down like that

>>212617351
>n-no you!
I look down and see a white hand, what about you?

>>212617171
Well, is he?

>>212617368
same but it's your mothers hand

>>212617385
that's hilarious currycel say something else funny

>>212617377
'fraid so

There's a hint of sweetness to the odor of my shit today. Its origin? I can't say.

end times are here

AMANDA WON

Johnny Appleseed is a hero

Gameplan for today:
Go to work and post on 4chan
Come home
Eat dinner
Watch TV or play video games
Go to sleep
Thoughts?

What if it was Johnny Crapplesneed and he just went around america shitting in pies and killing people

>>212617218
but we're also the colonizers right

Back in like 4th grade we went on a field trip to a goldmine and rode the carts down to the bottom of the mine, then panned for gold (from those prepackaged bags of sand that never have any gold)

gotta shit

>>212617699
What do you think he fertilized those apple seeds with?
He deposited the seed into a hole and then made a second deposit (of poo) if you catch my drift (he shat in the hole)

>>212617699
the kind of apples he planted were shit for eating and actually only good for making hard cider

>>212617750
>>212617755
I bet he was a travelling rapist and the "seeding" and "apple trees" were just allegories.

Need coochie on my face

>>212617755
This is pseud bullshit like saying tomatoes are a fruit instead of a vegetable
Every first crop from an apple tree planted seed instead of a seedling is garbage, apple trees produce different apples every harvest.
Subsequent harvests were better

>>212617878
Orchards also replant trees pretty often and it wasn’t only hard cider, most hard cider at the time had barely any alcohol in it
Lots of varieties of beer were also like 2% ABV

>>212617868
You've never felt a real human emotion in your entire life. You're driven only by urge and instinct like an animal of the flock

>>212617946
is this where the idea of american beer being weak shit comes from? i know "Canadian" beer back in the day was def stronger, especially the stuff the British brought over like IPAs, it was like 5-7%. modern american beer is like 5% on average which isn't weak tho.

Ik ook

>>212616798
This is a human thing, humans have told stories about badass dudes who beat everyone up for as long as there's been recorded history. Gilgamesh, Heracles, etc

>>212618092
girugamesh

>>212615206
>they can't fuck around because most of them do it for a living and one bad rating can tank the amount of money they make
bro it takes 60 seconds to message support and ask them to remove it lol

>>212618092
ok but what about The Shadow? why did they give him such a big nose?

Just went to the swede general they seriously talk like
>Tergen vug turg beg ig hek iken von
actual diarrhea language top kek

Brown people love whatsapp, why? It seems everybody outside of north america uses this fucking app.

>>212618004
We are animals
Our instincts tell us to sex

>>212618138
How about Shadow the Edgehog

>>212618117
>hears name of the oldest and greatest mythological hero in civilization
>thinks of a late 00s anime meme
ngmi

moby's dick must have been remarkable if they wrote an entire book about it

>>212618168
trvke

>>212618020
America mostly missed out on all the “revolutionary” changes in beer due to our ever-present temperance movements and Great Awakenings.
Most Americans drank what’s called “small beer” that they brewed at home, which was usually under 2% ABV
We didn’t get a real beer industry until the revolutions in Germany
Anglo Americans mostly preferred hard liquor or cider to beer, which was sometimes seen as a drink for low class immigrants

>>212618180
I’ve taken a uni course on the Epic of Gilgamesh albeit

>>212618177
you just reminded me of Messytails. unpleasant memory retrieved.

what's a good cider

>>212618214
Also people drank a shit ton of imported French Champagne instead of beer even as late as the Gold Rush since it wasn’t as expensive back then
You can find mountains of champagne bottles in remote saloons in the Sierra Nevadas

>>212618265
when i'm inside 'er.

>>212618265
dixon cider

>>212618265
Cider? I hardly know her

FRIENDLY REMINDER
Beer is for Germans and Irish
Real WASPs drink cider
There’s a reason it’s Johnny Appleseed and not Johnny Hopseed

mexico

>>212618311
Real NORMANS drink CALVADOS

>>212618311
and wine?

>>212618353
GO HOME FRENCH SCUM
>tfw Norman surname

Day I try to quit coffee my neighbors hire mexicans to blast lawn equipment right next to my window

We are all whites. there is no German or Irish or WASP
We must maintain unity in the face of brown onslaught

>>212618413
India also white sir

>>212618370
Yeah
WASPs drink wine, hard liquor, and cider
No liquid bread of the peasant underclass shall touch these lips

>>212618413

>>212618339
>>212618411
You ever notice mexico doesn't post itt anymore btw
Is this Trump's doing

>>212618443
>our viking ancestors
>picture of a nigger
What did Sven mean by this?

>>212618311
and alcohol is for degenerate failures

>>212618438
i drink beer, wine and rum. that makes me what? pseudo wasp

>>212618468
IIRC it’s an ad for an airline or something. Gotta get their DEI representation into their self(?)-flagellation humiliation ritual

I called a black man brother
did I fuck up?

I have on Native American ancestor who lived in the 1700s and a couple of French Canadians
Other than that it’s all English and Scottish, zero Irish as far as I know
People like me only exist in rural New England and Utah

>>212618468
ummmm he's quintessentially Scandi. black people were actually the real vikings in case you didn't actually know.

>>212618508
You’re supposed to call them “boy” or the n word

>>212618508
You fucked up using the hard r
It's "brotha" then you go in for a dap

powerful usa mindset
maximize hustling - no distractions

>>212618500
That makes you a German, sorry
Replace rum with vodka and you become a Slav

>>212618517
That sort of mix is also common in the Ontario, the Anglo minority in Quebec, and the Maritimes albeit. I’m not sure how widespread the marginal injun ancestry is though

>>212618544
Jobs was an honorary jew no doubt

>>212618508
what are you hulk hogan

>>212618517
I'm the quintessential white mutt. I should probably be gassed to death, or something
>British
>Austrian
>Swiss
>Irish
>Scottish

You’re not a real American if you’ve never made your own alcohol

>>212618536
>>212618537
this happened on twitch chat and I only noticed he’s black after sending the msg because I checked his profile

cider is unfortunately very reddit coded

New Englanders and Maritimers are the same people, only divided by political boundaries, like how Serbo-Croats are only distinct because the Croats were part of the Austrian Empire and the Serbs were part of the Ottoman Empire.

If you drink alcohol regularly you're a weak sissy subhuman

>>212618570
I mostly meant America, most of my extended family lives in Canada
The marginal Injun is probably present in everyone who has an ancestors who came here in the 1600s

>>212618584
isn’t he kinda racist?

>>212618650
Do you know anybody who has ever dropped a harder R?

I've had 2 people mistake me for a woman over the phone in the last week, I'm not sure why but the moment I get on the phone my voice shift up by like 4 pitches and it doesn't even sound forced it sounds natural I just do it by default, my parents call it a "customer service voice"

I would love to live in an apartment in a city full of European and Chinese/Japanese people and ride a train to work every day.

>>212618632
New England + Nova Scotia (and the rest of the Maritimes) logically would be called New Britain
We should free the New British nation from Amerimutt oppression

>>212618643
Basically all of my family came over in the 1600s and 1700s, and there’s no known marginal injun blood in the genealogical records, nor DNA tests that family members have done.

You guys remember when Jason used to claim to be straight, then acknowledged that he wasn’t but denied being a troon?
Now he’s completely trooning out.
The Chud to Troon pipeline got another one

>>212618687
First order of business is invading+colonizing the other New Britain and forcing them to change their name
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Britain

>>212618697
The Injun came from my French ancestor (Meti I guess)
I guess that’s what happens when the French government sends you with no women

>>212618664
I guess not
especially if we don’t count Finnish people speaking English
we really like to pronounce the r too

>>212618750

>>212618736
Prison colony for all the Dominicans and Puerto Ricans in New England
The Italian Question will be revisited at a later date

My grandparents were french immigrants, I have an aunt who was on some canadian soap opera back in the 80s or 90s and one of my first cousins moved back to france and became a stage actor in paris

>>212618680
are you sure that you aren't secretly a woman

>>212618799
Jason is a well known troon

>>212618762
here is a demonstration
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c1wAQQAoqmo

based or cringe

Gonna take my dick to the old towne whore
Gonna ride her till can't feel no more....

>>212618952
Based because it’s a controlled hunt of an old lion organized by the sanctuary to raise money

>>212618788
you must be handsome

I'm a trans exclusionary half gay boymoder.

>trans exclusionary tranny

The yous dry up faster than a post-menopausal woman's pussy as soon as i come round these parts

Jason is a case study of what unemployment does to a nigga

Watching rightoids fall in line on the epstein files is hilarious a few months ago they were on bonid's desk and ready to be released and they were all foaming at the mouth at how many people were going to get arrested, now its "uhm actually the files never existed and they were just lying about it all which is actually good and based!!!! also who cares about epstein, why do you keep bringing up epstein, no files, everyone is innocent he was a lone actor!!!"

So is /dixie/ dead and buried?

>>212619174
Jason is a case study on what happens to you if you have no stable father figure, are unemployed, and live with your mom who endlessly babies you

>>212619173
It's been 6 years
3 presidents
all of a sudden its NOW an urgent matter because you saw some post on reddit

>>212619199
I supported Epstein from the start
I was always a true believer in what he did

Jason is stronger than most. he only became a tranny in his late 20s

I’m actually on the Epstein List
One of the most frequent fliers

>>212619138
post butt

I don't believe jason is real

i wish to have sexual intercourse with jason's bum

I’m still upset over that one Muslim girl ghosting me a year ago

>>212619294
Why?

>>212619204
god willing

Playing bing bing wahoo on my old 3ds

>>212619457
Thanks
>Why?
wanted to see if it worthy of a grope

>>212618952
cringe because Lions are one of the noble beasts and hold a great deal of symbolism in Western cultures. killing a lion is the most third world shit you could possibly do, especially if it was an old one.

>>212619708
Fool

Have you ever heard of a one-bar prison

crazy how nature be like dat

>>212618183
r/DadJokes

>>212619768
ok brownie

I've never been inside of a church

i'm buying a carbon fiber bicycle today

That interview? I aced it
Thanks to all my /cum/frens who sent me their good will, and death to my enemies

you gotta keep on keeping on

How come you can't sell your kidneys

>>212619865
Lion hunts are a traditional upper class white thing

r8 my /mu/ filters

>>212620073
A lot of them seem useless, for example most people aren't willing to make a thread that specifically says firstname lastname, they'll just say sabrina or dua or they won't even have anything and it will just be a picture of them

>>212620073
based/10

0/10 only the weak use filters

>>212620073
i filter the entire board by not going there. good start tho

Kpoop

>>212620056
only faggot retard yuppies hunt for sport. doesn't matter how long they've been doing it, it was faggotshit back then and it's equally gay now.

if you aren't going to eat it you shouldn't be killing it.

t. hunter

>>212620154
kpop trannies committing mass suicide from this post

>>212620171
>NOOOO YOU CANT JUST KILL A LION THAT WAS EJECTED FROM ITS PRIDE AND GOING TO DIE ANYWAY ITS NOT WHOLESOME 100 I DONT CARE IF THE MONEY GOES TO PROTECTING WILDLIFE

>>212620171
Numale faggot post.

why the FUCK did i just get 2 300 second timers IN A ROW?

>>212620243
My timer gets reset every time I try to post on another board

I wonder what the NSA file on me looks like

Lions are overrated and not even cool. You know what animal is way cooler? A mimic octopus

>>212620233
>going to die anyways

By that logic we should be hunting you for sport because at *some* point you're going to die too.

>money goes to protecting wildlife

lol. why don't these rich doctors who fly around the world with $15,000 rifles just give some money to the anti-poaching efforts? no, they'll only "donate" to save wildlife if they can destroy it in the process.

literally no argument can be made to justify the destruction of such a noble animal for sport or to help stupid africans.

Mfw they actually take the money out of my account

>>212620278
You're not one of our top concerns

>>212620303
Seething homosexual, unlike an old lion I won’t be dying in a few months
Old lions don’t die peacefully, they’re either killed by hyenas or starve to death
They’re not destroying any wildlife by killing a lion that won’t reproduce anymore

>>212620278
>Serial gooner

>>212620374
severely jewish post

There’s no NSA file on me because I don’t exist
I’m a spook

>>212620404
Even black people at least exist

>>212620404
Prove it post your multiple passports

>>212620400
>u r jew
Not an argument
Looks like I win again

I'm worried my NSA agent has lost interest
Our relationship used to be so close, but now he's so distant with me....

>>212620426
>>212620442
The government will never ever know about me
I was a home birth and my parents never registered me anywhere so I have no birth certificate
I am a stateless individual
I’m a handyman and only take cash payments

Jason having a melty over lions lol

Redditleaf is having another melty over Jason

There was a fucking cockroach on my frozen tendies

i like a fish fry

>>212620634
Brand?

successfully upset Jason again award

Weird dried out feeling in nose and back of throat.
Worst feeling ever
Like I keep swallowing to try and clear out the feeling but it doesn't go away

Are you alright?
You seem very quiet…

I have a wee touch of the cancey wancey

Got a bit of the ol’ ‘bola

When is Trump putting trannies in camps like I was told by cnn

>>212611352
Unfortunately the people have regressed to dogs and will never seize their power

I have a mediocre post to make but i'm not going to do it until the new thread

>>212620696

>>212620872
Just two more weeks

>>212620934
this is the best time to make it. everyone will see it because they're all withholding their posts for the next thread

Use this for the new

Use this for the new

>>212620934
i managed to contain all my terrible dating posts this morning and i'm proud

Use this for the new

>>212621070
>>212621070
>>212621070

>>212621012
yeah birds are funny little things

I was too hasty, ignore my edition and use the cute birds

MURPH

MUUUUURPH