Thread 212771157

Tortoise jeans edition

need literally bpd or schizophrenic nurse with needles on her thighs in those band things

>>212771157 (OP)
thanks for making a proper new in a timely fashion and not being a retard

mad how tame impala is just one guy

>>212771221
Yeah no worries mate. I even asked first to be polite but some retard made another right after me for some reason.

Need to bite it

homie don't shake

need COpoisoning-chan to suffocate me and sleepfuck me

>>212771157 (OP)
ok this is comical. See the Tortoise has no need to wear jeans, nor is it intelligent enough to understand the reason why it has them on. A human, presumably, has put the jeans on to anthropomorphise the Tortoise haha x

assignment due tomorrow, haven't even started

>>212771157 (OP)
excellent edition

still watching this lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiKGt485lHI

>>212771248
Fuck you. It was me that asked first and you jumped in with this SHITE. Kill yourself.
>>212771221
Fuck you.

>>212771267
start it in the morning no need to worry tonight

Rorke bumping Bombs over Baghdad and calling it "urban music"

ofcom-sama

>>212771267
paбoтaй, бpaт

Albanian birds

>>212771289
You fibbing again mate?

need bee gf and plants with the calcium (-ion gated) channel blockage imbred poppies with high thebaine content and stealing all the homeless shelter nalaxone to feed to the rabbits on the rabbit ranch all addicted o fentanyl

>>21277139
Virgin freak

I am aware this sounds made up but I made someone's grandma cum yesterday just by licking her nipples

>>212771248
>>212771289
since when do you have to ask to make a new?
that's like asking a girl if you can kiss her instead of just going for it, it makes you look like a virgin

>>212771254
>nor is it intelligent enough to understand the reason why it has them on.
and what reason might that be

>>212771329
Built for hung greek bvlls

Rorke James O'Connor (born 25 September 1996) is an English nonce-hunter, shitposter, closeted batty, and amateur military historian. He is best known for his contributions to the 4Channel general, /brit/. Since 2015 his daily political tirades have earnt him dozens of (you)s, making him one of the most replied to posters in the general.

Ice lolly of choice?

>>212771327
>does nothing
>earns 350K
>hate my job
this doesnt happen
what software kills people? maybe League of Legends...

>>212771346
That's why the shaggers get in before 300

>>212771327
I would fucking love to be paid the top salaries

>>212771346
Just good manners innit. Didn’t want another disaster like last thread

>>212771327
are doctors really that underpaid in britain?

one time i wanked really hard

>>212771375
defence industry
missile guidance and that

>>212771357
i just told you. To anthropomorphise the little guy for our personal amusement haha x

>>212771327
>i will never earn as much as any of these people

just watched gay porn AMA

>>212771385
Fuck you.

Free as a bird me

>>212771329
Looks like Anne hathaway

very much enjoy that bit in sex where I've made her cum before me and now it means I get to shag her like an over-excited bunny in heat without needing to worry about making her feel good anymore

I would love to get paid for my job to be listening to women and be kind and dressing up like a dog while doing it

>>212771394
Nobody is getting paid that here, I already did that

Roke still thinks the boat people get given houses free of charge

>>212771401
how is your dad?

>>212771394
How does guiding a missile kill people
Surely an unguided missile would be worse
Military is going to launch them either way

>>212771387
Yeah, my mate did 7 years of studying and junior doctor nonsense to become a radiologist and he'll only see that much money after 5 years

still watching this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiKGt485lHI

>>212771423
and teachers dont get £60k here it's obviously a yank meme

>>212771401
least gay aussie

>>212771432
mental illness

>>212771296
was listening to this in the gym earlier... please stop stalking me...

>>212771387
Not if we want to relocate to Australia

>>212771421
She's pulled an fruit straight out of her arse there

>>212771441
>he'll only see that much money after 5 years
Oh diddums

have developed extreme social anxiety due to years of being a shut-in, can barely go outside anymore. havent left the house or spoken irl to a human in months, dont know how it got like this

>>212771441
tell him to move to australia pronto, he'll make at least double that

we need to have a /brit/ meet up and go on a protest to suppoert Palestine /brit/ against genocide!

>>212771473
alri Rorke

>>212771387
Nah they are one of the highest paying normal jobs doesn’t stop them striking all the time, happy to let patients die to get their yearly 30% raise

Bite into my brown thigh

>>212771439
fine why
>>212771463
gay porn demon made me do it

That Brittany Venti gimmick didn't last long did it

Brian

another dogshit day of my miserable incel life

I'm a microwave chad me
Love ready meals
Tuna pasta bake in the microwave as we speak

>>212771437
well i doubt theyre paying rent!

We must secure the existence of our people, lads.

The blue-eyed, blonde superior human type must flourish.

timmy sr snoring
katy nursing batontip

>>212771489
same, can't maintain a conversation me

I'M NOT SICK BUT I'M NOT WELL

>>212771493
He's got an offer on the go so thank fuck for that
>>212771488
Lost all his hair. He's a nice lad. Doesn't deserve that.

>>212771558
Ok.

>>212771489
*gives you a big hug*

>>212771539
im a short fat ginger cunt with freckles, im sub human as fuck

>>212771267
your best ideas come from when you're thinking and not writing.
have a read through, break it down into sub topics, then smash it out

I am a 34 year old man with a 40" belly and am skinnyfat. I only started exercising a few weeks ago cycling 15 miles every other day or so.

What's a good number of pushups to do for a beginner?

how many council houses are occupied by non-whites?

>>212771578
thanks havent been touched by a human in years

>>212771483
we need more white doctors, all the ones here are brown or yellow

>>212771591
dont cycle it will hurt your nuts!

>>212771577
Cool.

>>212771577
same video

>>212771590
and from walking
and sleeping

wish you could get adderall here. Heard it makes you super focused on anything like the limitless drug

>>212771508
Thigh, yeah

>>212771593
soyjak niggas will make anything

>>212771537
Maybe not, but being temporarily housed in a former hotel isn't exactly renting either. It's no different to if a block of flats is in fire and tenants are temporarily put up in a premier inn

>>212771267
what's the assignment?

>>212771591
like 20, probably less if you've been sedentary your entire life

>>212771591
Depends how skinnyfat you are. 10 is probably a fine target for an absolute beginner.

>>212771617
you can its called speed

Sure.

megan yhee stallionble

>>212771593
Nigga never played uno before

>>212771658
Why do you call it that and not the binble

Doctors and nurses are worthless cunts, and the ones that are ACTUALLY good at their jobs earn shitloads in consultancy or GP partnership so there's no need to feel sorry for them

nigga in the stall next to me fighting for his fuckin life

stallion ><

>>212771634
yeah except that block of flats was located in bangladesh for some reason

Wake up.

>>212771641
>>212771642
Thank you lads. My arms are pretty skinny and my chest isn't very well defined. I'll start on about 15. Do I do them every day or every other day or wha

the police are pathetic

>>212771591
dont spam pushups without doing pull-ups or something back focused as well
otherwise you will get imbalances which will put yourself into an even worse situation

>>212771682
Dr House

bring back oxycontin

>>212771649
Speed is focking meth

>>212771614
for.me it's gardening and riding my motorbike, the faster the better

>>212771483
jesus christ i need to get to australia before they realize britain has collapsed and make visas harder to get

>>212771703
What's this then

>>212771705
What can I do that's back focussed? I don't have a pull up bar yet

What the fuck I just looked up what I do in Australia and I could be on 100k/year

>>212771721
we have to execute the mf who decided that chatGPT needs to use emojis

watching Asmongold clips on YouTube

>>212771738
Try wanking on all fours

>>212771721
yank robot spouts yank nonsense
theres no meth in the speed over here

>>212771721
can you post all of your past chat history if they are questions like this? you can also include the answer if you want. I am not good with AI but using those messages to train it would be interesting, so that more of those "F.A.Q" (sort of?) questions can be made

>>212771702
Just google “beginners home calisthenics workout” or something.
Bit odd only doing pushups. But if you really want to you can do them everyday. Would recommend actually going to the gym or at least getting some dumbbells or a pull up bar though.

>>212771620
Any area, really.

>>212771731
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX_4GxbEkkk

>>212771745
brits would be on this but we are bad at economics

>>212771721
I wish speed was meth

>>212771770
This is a new gimmick btw

Think I'm based

I admit I got a little bit angry.

doctor is such a shit job

>>212771745
Yh 100k aud is like 15k gbp
Proper third world country over there
Pack of fags costs like 80 aud

>>212771789
based on what?

Might start a gimmick where I watch a new film every day

>>212771758
based

I've got a great idea
I'm gonna wait right here

Reminder that the British Medical Council only allows 7,000 new students to study medicine in England each year (less than half of applicants) because of fears of wage suppression, leading the conservative government to address the shortfall by removing the cap on visas for doctors, therefore most new doctors annually are now foreign nationals.

>>212771780
God I hate women

watched that nonce hunter video of the pedo primary school teacher someone posted earlier there
mad hearing his kids and wife screaming knowing he'd been playing with his knobber thinking of 9 year olds

IF I EVER MET THE KING

BREAK HIS NECK WITH SOME STRING

>>212771788
Oh. Thought it was just some fella asking for advice. Bit of a shite gimmick. What’s the punchline?

got a new gimmick idea where we all post pics of our stiff cocks and stuff what do we think?

>>212771804
holy cope

boiling over with incel rage

>>212771839
*patiently awaits its debut*

>>212771828
Why were they screaming?

>>212771808
I love film but even I can’t stand to watch one a day

Feeling blackpilled and furious

toby studying medicine by asking chatgpt how to manufacture drugs

>>212771823
god we are a smart country eh? we simply never miss, all that free talent in Britain!

britain is the worst country on earth

>>212771804
I meant 100k in GBP, there seems to be plenty of 200k+ AUD fairly standard engineering roles which require a few years of experience. No idea how these aren't full of Indians or Chinese already.

house prices are cooked here but you can earn a lot smashing up rocks, also smokes and alcohol is disproportionally expensive from taxation

how do i go from being neet in England to being neet in Australia?
there must be some sort of transfer scheme

>>212771828
link pls x

>>212771828
post vid pls

>>212771721
I wonder what taking adderall/ritalin is like for something as simple as watching a tv show

are you proper sucked into it like you were there or what

wonder what happens to porn actresses after they retire (other than killing themselves)
reckon a lot of them probably become hairdressers

horse prices

>>212771243
just like oasis and Nirvana

Good cope.

People really don't seem to understand that if you ask an AI stupid questions you get stupid answers. Can't wait to see how midwits will feel even more superior for no reason at all

any vinted wanker in

>>212771778
Much better

airdropping toby into the poowong mines to smash up rocks

>>212771861
because they're dad was a nonce.
dumb cunt should have kept his mouth shut
even with police you can literally just walk away if they're not detaining you. and these were just some youtubers

im going to study engineering for the express reason of moving to australia and earning 100k

>>212771888
>alcohol is disproportionally expensive from taxation
my opioid habit is unironically cheaper than when i was an alky, probably healthier too

got the pre-workout tunes on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3OKd5b2Rlw

>>212771928
boring!

>>212771937
Waiting on a £3 bikini to wank into

>>212771937
I've had to bin that off
Spent more time collecting new vintedslags than I spent wanking to them

>>212771967
Sorry

>>212771928
qrd on gloria trillo's suicide?

Fake mousey :/

>>212771966
its nearly 11 lad

Australia would be great if it was colder

>>212771895
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiKGt485lHI

>>212771961
Going to rock up to Australia on a small boat, i'm white so ill take a cleverer route, you see

A postman who decapitated his girlfriend after complaining she was working too much has been jailed for life.

Ewan Methven, 27, admitted murdering Phoenix Spencer-Horn at their home on Nov 16 last year, after the couple ordered a takeaway to their flat in Glen Lee, East Kilbride.

Prosecutors told the High Court in Glasgow that Methven choked her before severing her head and trying to remove her limbs from her body.

Earlier that day, Methven had complained to his girlfriend that her waitress shifts made him “lonely”.

After murdering and decapitating his 21-year-old girlfriend, he texted her mother pretending to be her and he trawled the internet for pornography for hours.

He later dialled 999, insisting he had a drug-induced blackout and could not remember what he had done.

But Judge Lord Matthews at the High Court in Glasgow ordered Methven to spend at least 23 years behind bars before he can be considered for parole.

>>212772006
that's tonights wank sorted

>>212771937
yh

>>212771646
this guy's wife

>>212771845
Nice counter argument boyo

>>212771958
There's hundreds of these pred hunter channels and these guys keep falling for the bait. How fucking stupid is the average nonce ?

>>212771157 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbyrOBVDtR4

>>212771937
I'm a vet wanker not a 'vinted' wanker

>>212771997
lift at night in the summer. simple as.

>>212771942
Preference?

>>212772002
wish canada was doing better. they are still doing 100x better than britain, but if im going to move country its going to be the richer one

>>212772002
australia is really big lad, there are places where it can get quite chilly

>>212771937
for me it's following steph mandich on depop and waiting for her dirty undies to appear

fun fact australia is colder on average than the uk

>>212772019
>Hour long wank
>Dialing the services yourself
>Felt lonely so he'd off his gf now being ultimately lonely
Not the brightest bulb was he

>Methven said his girlfriend’s body was in the hall with a knife beside her. He said he had been taking steroids and cocaine, which he believed had been spiked.
>Tony Graham KC, defending, told the court Methven was “unable to offer an explanation to why the course of events led to her death other than his admission of drugs”.

always the drugmongs

heatherpaedo starting his night shift

>>212772019
wouldve been 7 years if he was muslim

watching the sexual tension between Candace Owens and Nick Fuentes. Bet he had her fat negress arse bouncing after the interview ended.

>>212771702
If you struggle try doing them on a step so your head is higher than your feet and then gradually do them with your head lower to the floor.
Then when you're good try doing them with your feet on a step

>>212771721
retard

>>212772058
I have emotional ties to the cold and depressing feel of the outdoors here which I think could be replicated in NZ but I don't think it's possible in Australia

>>212772121
not british culture is it now fuck off

>>212772019
>trawled the internet for pornography for hours.
ktim

>>212772019
How do such awful people get girlfriends I’m such a nice guy

>>212772072
carmella was to blame. stupid-a facking bitch

It pleases Jah

>>212772100
where did you leave your drug addict gf's corpse, mr hermann?

>in ze meth ven

>>212772077
it's winter in Brucieland yeah?

>sister mocks me
>She said playing cyberpunk and applying to jobs is a waste
>She is still annoyed for saying people in my area are all fake bitches
>Tell her i would rather watch anime than Listen girls from cape cod

Btw I am gonna be forced outside tomoreiw

Alri alri alrii

>>212772115
wonder what he does with himself when hes not on here

>>212772138
good post

>>212772046
Any of the details

>>212772058
>there are places where it can get quite chilly
How many people live there

bit bewildered at all the young lads these days who go around sporting mullets and paedostaches, why do they do it?

>>212772019
some right wrong'uns out there

>>212772149
Jah pronouncements
>TEK DAT TING BOI

>>212772029
you point to a product that the austrlain government has targeted for taxes like no one else as proof that australian wages wont take you as far
cant just list a single highly taxes good and use that as cover for everything

>>212772159
incoherent post

my worse fear is seeing my dad on one of those noncehunting vids

>>212772177
my brother tries to look like this. He does it cos his ming mong gf wanted it. No backbone that lad

>>212772141
apparently they met at a family function when she was 19

A second plane has hit the Masterchef studio

>>212771922
they sell real estate

>>212772019
She looks Finnish

>>212772169
he is a top shagger if we are to believe him

I fucking hate Boston everyone my age is fake and I would rather shoot myself than go to downtown to talk people

Cleverly

>>212772045
you go to bed right after?

>>212772219
what did these lads do to cross their owners?

>>212772217
women actually like this? WHY

Thinking of starting a gimmick where I just be an annoying cunt that ruins the thread atmosphere

>>212772175
Ouch!

>>212772245
pretty much yeah.

>>212772212
Sorry I am tired I stayed up all night playing cyberpunk and drinking redbull. I just told my sister there is no point in going outside when everything is expensive and everyone sucks

Two luh Charlotte spinners

>>212772261
On the back too

>>212772177
it's dressing bad on purpose to be ironic

chicken dippers in the airfryer going to dip them in that chinese chilli oil wth a picture of the cheeky lad on the front

>>212772006
>can you confirm this is your penis?
>wish it was
Based

wish boris was back as pm

miles better than keir

propa good lad our boris

one of the lads innit

>>212772176
melbourne can get cold as fuck (though snow is very rare), it's kind of like the san francisco of australia, from the culture to the weather
there's also tasmania but that place has a bit of a sordid reputation

>>212772252
Greg went through a bizarre phase of posting random ai shit on his tiktok

>>212772242
You have it made. Boston is one of the best cities in the USA, I'm stuck in some brown ESL beaner shithoul in California. Trade me.

have to upload a photo of my driving licence to view gay porn on reddit now

>>212772177
That's literally 90% of Australian men and always has been

>>212772006
>is this your penis?
>that ain't- what?... I wish it was
>well that's not even funny because it's been sent to a 9 year old

Have had:
2 white monster energy drinks
2 ZYN pouches

>>212772253
they're probably on the pill
makes them think they're pregnant so they go for soft men

>>212772281
these visuals are eerily similar to the super vivid, visceral, detailed dreams i used to have after drinking

>>212772312
I legit wanted to slap a bitch on the train today she was being annoying and said I could be a model if I shaved and didn't dress like a bum. Thickest valley girl accent

>>212772313
me taking the AI age verification photo after typing "dommy mommy calls you a good boy CEI JOI"

British broadcasting corporation more like big beautiful cock amiright lads hahahahaha

>>212772284
Your nice teeth would probably leave interesting marks

>>212772322
i think we were ground zero for the more recent revival of this look, but no it wasn't a common look here until the past 5-10 years

>>212772251
i won

>>212772141
I done! I'm done! I'm done ordering out that's why I get Factor Meals. They are healthy and affordable. I get delivered to me. I put them all on the ground and eat them. I'm on all fours. No utensils either. I ain't about that fucking shit homie. I'm a fucking banger, I'll zero a big out, cut up his body and throw it in hydrochlorothiazide in a fucking ice chest. My life is dope. My Fridays are razor blades making lines of Medellin cocaine off a black strippers ass while I make out with an Asian man. I don't give a fuck, make female, whatever it's all meat. New millinia new rules my rules. I like sucking and fucking holes and poles. I can't even go to theme parks!! No Disney land. None. But I make up for it at six flags. I get things my way. How I want them!.

Just like Factor Meals!

>>212771685
Ask him if he's okay

>>212772336
real nigga shit

>>212772281
we gon do sum boutchu nigga

get them housed

this age verification crap is bullshit

feel sorry for the kids

loved porn between like 13 and 17

propa nostalgic
great way to grow up

now the kids are gna end up going to dodgier and dodgier places to get porn

just wrong

>>212772359
all cocks are beautiful brit is a size inclusive general

hate the polacks

>>212772397
being nostalgic for porn is really something else

pisses me off when i see a fat/chubby guy with a cute gf when i have a 6 pack and muscles and am still a virge

>>212772363
I watch a lot of anzac cookery and dating shows. you men need to get your shit together. bunch of pooftas the lot of ya.

Could have legit been a model if not for my criminal record

>>212772362
Probably but you'd have to see them to find that out

>>212772406
dlaczego?

>>212772396
>flood white countries with even more brown people
>take over what remains of palestine when all the palis have left
israel playing 4d chess

>>212772397
you just stop wanking at 17?

>>212772396
they are not going to take the french up on this offer

>>212772403
>>212772406
>>212772415
I done! I'm done! I'm done ordering out that's why I get Factor Meals. They are healthy and affordable. I get delivered to me. I put them all on the ground and eat them. I'm on all fours. No utensils either. I ain't about that fucking shit homie. I'm a fucking banger, I'll zero a big out, cut up his body and throw it in hydrochlorothiazide in a fucking ice chest. My life is dope. My Fridays are razor blades making lines of Medellin cocaine off a black strippers ass while I make out with an Asian man. I don't give a fuck, make female, whatever it's all meat. New millinia new rules my rules. I like sucking and fucking holes and poles. I can't even go to theme parks!! No Disney land. None. But I make up for it at six flags. You can drink your own urine they said but it ain't true just another lie like 9/11 or the xiwarojangI get things my way. How I want them!.

Just like Factor Meals!

>>212772433
tf is a quintile

gregg was groping women due to his neurodiversity

>>212772408
mate its not the same

>>212772415
maybe you should try not being such a bitter little incel

>>212772433
mfw I'm the bottom quintile

>>212772461
20%

>>212772470
Howling

>>212772357
Giggled at this

>>212772461
You’re who they’re talking about

>>212772446
got married pal

bottoming a quintile

>>212772429
Would love to

>>212772464
pretty sure that one was me

>>212769437
>>212769437
>>212769437
NEW

Sir Cheeky Greengrocer

what quintile does quentin belong in

>>212772466
ironically

this kind of bullshit is what caused the.whole conflict in first place

how about

people like stop moving to new places ye

just stay where you live

if you wna do your mental muslim paedo bullshit

keep it to yourself ye?

>>212771179
>>212771179

>>212772520
Interesting marks

>>212772501
i make 200k

recycle
>>212771179
>>212771179
>>212771179

>>212772470
reckon hes playing 4d chess hoping people will say

"yeah you have to be fucking autsistic to come up with this shit"

actually a fucking travesty literally anyone can be diagnosed as autistic or adhd or ptsd these days

fucling bullshit

sick fucking world

miss the old days

>>212772561
>>212772561
>>212772561

New
>>212772586
>>212772586
>>212772586

We’ve fucked it again lads. This is why we should ask first

>>212772566
I bet

>>212772621
A lot to be stuck thinking about

>>212772356
What's bad about that?

>>212772795
Stuck huh? I see.

>>212772992
Without end

>>212773086
So I guess there was no possibility for uh…talking again then? Cool. I guess.

>>212773200
Stuck is good, I think you misunderstood

>>212773450
How so?

>>212773532
A lot to imagine