>>212978573 (OP)I did lose my virginity when I was 18 or something, but my father was Japanese, and it is probably mostly due to family pressure to get in college and do well in college. I couldn't for my fucking life write some stupid fucking essay and wouldn't get into that shit. I used to have myself and my life so fucking much. And I would feel guilty about giving up on all that shit and moving on with my life, finding someone, getting a fucking job and so on. I hate people nowadays. I hate authority and I don't even want to get married to anyone, because I don't want anyone influencing me to do anything.