lost in balatro edition
prev: >>213149539

sexo with autistic french canadian women

I am a master of the arcane arts

Damn what am I supposed to do all night

>>213152283
tomboy alberta girls

>>213152327
sleep, probably

>>213152327
pick fights with indians on 4chan

>>213152327
Drink, be angry, and feel sorry for yourself

>>213152260 (OP)
I took a massive and messy dump. Very satisfying.

Gen Z niggas are zesty

>>213152327
ascend the throne of Aquilonia, cutting down Amon Thoth >>213152295 and his harpy companion he has hidden in his tower to do Hound of the Baskervilles-type crime capers in the many-spired city whose narrow streets older than men care to recall where the bar wenches and murdering, thieving conjurers devoted to baby-eating Seth rub shoulders and possibly vampire mummies lie in wait in the ancient crypts below

>>213152402
why are you gay?

>>213152327
What he said >>213152372
If not, a relaxing evening reading or playing vidya

god DAMN that is aesthetic

but $35?

>>213152459
this is hardcore gas station wigger shit

fuck sports and fuck sports teams and fuck the owners of sports teams and fuck the fans of sports teams.

>>213152512
t. woman

billcaps look so much better than flatcaps

>>213152512
Fuck my dick

>>213152540
you want me to stick my dick in your dickhole? fuckin hardcore, man.

alright guys lets cool it with the curse words for a while, /cum/ is a family general.

Imagine the world but India was burned to glass

mom said no amazon fresh this week im pissed

I am high and now I'm drinking, good friday

>>213152603
Penis

Too lazy to get changed and cleaned up to go out award

>>213152613
c o m f y

>>213152603
Fuck
Shit
Ass

And for all of Aquinius' claim to a fortune of old, the thing was older still, so that its conventionally human-framed if slightly drawn, grey face moved in a barbaric mockery of simple human gesticulation, its teeth motioning like Sabaean daggers in a grotesque misapprehension of civility. He dared not look at the shroud which housed this thing of ages before his sight, but its thick and robust body shewed an advanced age from before even daring adventurers or wizard's towers, when monsters glutted their appettites on warm human flesh in the very light of day with nightmarish lip-service to the morals and beliefs of Man!

>I am high

>>213152629
you stink like cum

yeah alright, to house is not transitive, but I really enjoyed The Queen of the Black Coast, the Phoenix on the Sword, that sort of stuff

I'm getting high too and Momberg is bringing home sushi hell yeah bruvvas

>>213152706
BC-coded post

Ain’t no damn food in this house

>>213152712
Hell yea. It's so funny cause everyone here knows how to use chopsticks.

im back

how lucky can one guy be?
I fucked her and she fucked me
like a sailor said quote
aint that a chick with a dick???

Going to suck off a tranny

>>213152757
This ain’t it

Miss this little nigga like you wouldn't believe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5w-JGqEQsg

I learned how to use chopsticks in first grade

Remember when TikTok was banned for like 2 seconds

>>213152739
i'm in onterrible and used chopsticks like a pro the first time i ate Pho in BC. my albertan coworker had to use a fork like a HILLBILLY.

i dont know how to use chopsticks

>>213152804
too bad [REDACTED] undid it

sick of watching tv and seeing white people erased from all aspects of media these corporations want whites to be completely replaced by jeets mexicans and blacks

Just went for a jog and wrang my sweaty sock out on my cat
She is in the corner dry heaving LOL

wtf the audio jacks in my computer tower worked this entire fucking time?

Everybody had a good day today

>>213152876
no im hungry as hell

I would describe my penis as "subtle"

Alberta is the Texas of Canada. BC is the WA/CO/OR of Canada.

ate a chocolate bar because im starving fuck im gonna get fat because of my mom

But the Cimmerian was built like a gaggle of hellcats all pouncing together unto a common goal in some hellforge, his abomen working like a bouquet of vile serpents from some dark magician's garland, such was the dreadful force of his impact with the grease-wizard. When uh da moon hits your eye' chanted the surly necromancer, but his pleas to whatever necro-god of the seventh hells was swiftly cut short by a swing of the Northman's bastard sword. By this sword I rule, he cried! The rotten magicians and warlocks of this world beware he said furthermore. Skinwalkers, soothsayers, spawn of earlier ages! Here lies your doom!

>>213152914
you ate all the food

>>213152914
Do you pay your parents rent anon?

>>213152900
does Texas have a million jeets?

>>213152938
I think so?

>>213152925
hell no if i had money ill be out of this bitch
>>213152924
true that

Have you ever witnessed a crime? And not something gay like littering

alright, I hope this affront against English does it for me

>>213152950
theft all the time

>>213152950
Cocaine use many times

my head hurts i think im getting sick

>>213152950
If I have, I didn't realize it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yACqcuLCy3c

>>213152975
probably lyme disease, check your scrotum for tick bites.

>>213152938
They actually do have a lot of jeets

>>213152983
never got the appeal of that show i thought it was soooo boring

Excuse me waiter, but there's some pieces of cock in my shit. My son is allergic to cock and we specifically ask for no cock in his shit order. I know it's not your fault. I know. It's okay, can you just bring it back and give us some fresh shit, this time with no cocks?

>>213152983
I watched that show, it was weird in a way metal culture never was, or any other show for that matter

>>213152941
I'm on disability and give my mom rent every month and she buys food for the both of us.

>>213152950
yes. people driving erratically

>>213153002
whats your disability i can hop on it too but im saving it for when i really cant work

ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE LONELY
ANOTHER DAY ON THE ROUNDABOUT
WHAT DO THEY NEED?
SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOOOOOVE
ONE NIGHT IN THE LIFE OF THE LONELY
THERE'S A MIRACLE ON THE SCREEN
WHAT DID THEY SEE?
SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOOOOOOVE
HE GUARANTEES YOU INSTANT
GLORY
GET YOUR MONEY ON THE LINE
GOTTA SEND ME A PLASTIC JESUS
THERE'S A CHECK IN THE MAIL TODAY
THAT'S WHAT I NEED
SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
WE JUST WON'T MEET ON SUNDAY
GOTTA BUY HIM A LIMOUSINE
SOMEWHERE TO LIVE
SOMEWHERE TO PRAY

Writing an ian dury-esque album from the pov of a man who is extremely interested in what people keep in their secret little pockets (the anus)

dank nugs = smoked

>>213153002
let me fuck your mom noooow
and in can be niiiiiceeeee
or I'll have to troll you not once not twice
but howevermany times I liiiiikeeeee

Where can a nigga sell his food stamps

uuunnffffff

>>213153019
What do you mean saving it? In BC you can be on disability indefinitely up to the age of 65. Do you only get so many years of disability in your state? If not then why not take advantage of it now if you're eligible for it? It's the government's money, fuck em.

>>213153012
Were they cops? Every single one I see is always speeding

>>213153049
you know who invented being ian dury?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQZBaJAngH8

I was diagnosed as a schizoid one time

Selling food stamps is illegal

just called Gordon Ramsay a cunt bitch (yelled at my TV)

huniepop is a legit good game on its own. even if you take away the porn, it's still really fun to play, and the soundtrack is pretty good too.

Adults shouldn’t play video games

not a fan of rape

>>213153075
I want to try different jobs before i get on disability, i heard if you get off disability you wont be allowed to get back on it.

idk if the Stones invented being Van Morrison but that was sort of gross regardless, which is why pop history has forgotten about Van the Man

>>213153080
I don't get it

>>213153117
Actually playing video games is all I should do. Maybe I'll grab you and rape you

>>213153125
>idk if the Stones invented being Van Morrison

how common are Quebec separatists? does the average Quebecois hate anglo-canadians?

some profoundly stupid shit gets posted in this general smdh

>>213153126
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-hKBmTAADo
boz scaggs invented delboy lyrics over soulful black-coded music. He was even backed by most of future automated coke-abuse machine that was Toto

>>213153140
You probably have thin wrists and carpal tunnel like most gamers

Marlon Brando invented Being John Malkovich

feel like vomiting

>>213153156
not that popular anymore because QC is full of thirdie scum who have diluted their French culture.

there's a small number who like to LARP as french nationalists but as soon as you remind them how broke their province is and how badly they leech off the rest of Canada they shut right up.

>>213153159
Tell us which post hurt your feelings

there's something about asmr that gets me rock hard in my penis area

my penis hurts

My Chinese mother keeps sending me videos from weibo showing how to make pickled pig hooves

>>213153167
I have rape tunnel
Tunnel vision when I see someone who needs to be sodomized. Im gonna be screaming at the top of my lungs

>>213153180
>muh economy
why are anglos so soulless?

>>213153194
Chink

>>213153194
UH HERRO PREASE MOTHER UNIT, PREASE TO BE STOP SENDING ME VIDEOS

>>213153183
4chan won't let me quote 100 posts

you make me feel like dancin'
wanna dance the night away

I'm not allowed to be proud of my heritage as a white man.

I'm trying to do the who made who with actors but honestly 70s actors were just so much worse than 80s actors, they were closer to old B&W actors than to Nicolas Cage, except for like Al Pacino and DeNiro and Keitel but like Robert Caan and Gene Hackman, they were conventional, a bit stilted!

Angie really should be sitting on my face right now

Shoving things up your ass makes you cum quicker. Maybe the gays are on to something

why can't men be honest

Watching Gordon Ramsay bully the fuck out of some faggot soy boy bitch who bought a restaurant but doesn't know anything about cooking or business.
Sometimes I wish he would just take out a bat and beat these people to a pulp.

Congratulations to rapper NBA Youngboy who is expecting his 13th child at the age of 25

do you like my steam avatar?

>>213153224
Being proud of your heritage is the dumbest fucking thing ever. You're supposed to be proud of your accomplishments, the things you've done. You had absolutely no input on your race, or where you were born. That's like picking a random foreign sports team, and being proud that they won a game.

>>213152260 (OP)
Watching Markiplier's video on this now

I hate when other white people are racist to asians. They don't deserve it goddamn it. Be racist to mexicans and black people.

Im gonna get an asian girl pregnant just to spite you guys and make hapas with her, like a teenage girl punishing her racist dad by fucking a black guy.

Speaka the Deutsch

>>213153254
Being proud of your ancestors is a way to honour their achievements. Doing good things and achieving success on your own is another way.

Only a pathetic thirdie with no discernible heritage would say it's dumb to be proud of your heritage.

You are b r o w n.

then there's like James Cagney but that was this theatrical bougie idea of the madcap actors, these people weren't coke addled lunatics like Keitel and Pacino! The crack epidemic made Hollywood blockbusters! Like Jeff Goldblum, a certified drug fiend gradually losing his mind, or even Jim Carrey. Tom Sizemore who was the blueprint for James Gandolfini. Amirite?

I'm not okay, bros

Marlon Brando? A trailblazer!

One day, you will be reincarnated as a Chinese man.

wish I had a hot clown gf

>>213153274
I am Chinese. Thank you for standing up for us. I hope you have sex with a Chinese girl.

the thread i made is autosaging :(

wish I had A gf

You know why Udo Kier was so good for a European? Cause he was a cokehead homo! Tim Curry, Georgie. I rest my case.

I say Dem white womens sho is mighty fine

AYO

WHERE DA WHITE WIMMIN AT

Im being serious i hate when people are racist to asians, and I HATE niggers

>>213153244
It's just normal human pair bonding mating instinct.
Males want to know the female has genuine desire for him so she won't secretly go off and fuck other guys.

If a chinese person was being attacked by a fellow white man i would intervene and defend him

>>213153194
Stop being yellow you slant eyed gook

>>213153361
Kill you

>>213153340
youve never had to deal with old chink ladies who dont speak a word of english

My mother calls black people 黑鬼 casually

>>213153096
Think of how much money you could make if you could print food stamps
Just create a stand selling stamps to bums at the local gas station

everyone in /cum/ is white. they have to be. i have imagined it in my head for so long. nothing else is possible.

I'm disassociated

>>213153375
do you communicate with them through origami like that evil cop from blade runner? maybe it pays to have an evil cop aura too

>>213153394
I'm white but I have a j*w adjacent physiognomy

>>213153413
no you are 1488 aryan white i declare it now.

>>213153394
If it makes you feel any better, I'm white, but I've been doing this Chinese schtick for while now. Might have to start a new gimmick soon

>>213153394
well I'm only half white

>>213153394
My skin is the color of poop and that’s ok

>>213153343
>so she won't secretly go off and fuck other guys
Actually now that I think about even that is too incel redpill shit. It's just to make sure she's still invested in the relationship. Humans invest in long term care and rearing of few offspring. When you snag a mate you want to make sure you hold onto them. Both men and women do this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEGmEyhQJRU

>>213153427
>>213153436
you're are 300% white we are all white.

except schizojeet fuck that loser.

guess no one cares about my profile picture

>>213152804
Best 14 hours of tiktok for us.

90% of the people who have posted their face were white so I assume most people here are white

>>213153438
no your skin is the colour of raw milk and that is perfect.

>>213153447
Bill Ward quit Dio Sabbath after the second of third album, stating that the entire act seemed like a charade to him by that point. FUCK metalhead, they went for that getup because Dio sounds like Bruce Dickinson without any consideration for the structural integrity of classic Sabbath music! That's cause they're glammy cock rockers! And they also like HC punk!

>>213153156
>Quebec
>no leftoids
lol
lmao even

if this spot is no majority white i dont want to be here

it's okay to be white

>>213153487
No im Indian actually. I hope this doesn't change your opinion of me

I went golfing today. Wow what a time. My penis was like wowowow brbrbrbr ching chong ching chong.

shitting and pissing and screaming and crying

>>213153498
It's not only okay, it's peak.

>>213153200
Mercantile people

>>213153500
it does. fuck off

>>213153500
Indians like me from North India have lighter skin, so I always say that I am white

>>213153500
There will come a time in history when Indians will rock out more. It is inevitable. Ravi Shankar informed the wildest of anglo acid rock guitar freakouts, you just gotta grow as a people

I need to nuke POO YORK

>>213153507
i hope an alligators rips off your cock

>>213153522
Shut up Dalit

>>213153507
Was just about to say this

Los Angeles

>>213153384
Bums and schizo homeless are an untapped gold mine

>>213153526
>>213153531
please help me sir i am fucking indian

indians will never be white.

>>213153529
>interior crocodile alligator
>I drive a chevrolet movie theater

>>213153543
shithole

Sir I am Chinese

white pussy is the most precious resource on the planet, possibly the universe.

I am Indian. I am white. Deal with it.

sorry guys i'm not white, i'm Black

>>213153581
>that nose
shes jewish

>>213153552
I'll take 50/50. AWOOOOOOOOGA!

KEEP THINKING BOUT EVERY STRAIGHT FACE YES WONDER WHAT YOUR BOYFRIEND THINKS ABOUT YOUR BRACES

Cali bros what's going on?

>>213153593
this bitch is UCKERS

We are deconstructing race here, turning it into a meaningless category. /cum/ is post-racial

>>213153594
I diagnose you with homoseity

>>213153597
You're not helping your own cause, Sanjay

>>213153593
YUCK. BITCH LOOKS LIKE A FART.

>>213153596
He's not the first man to do this, nor will he be the last

*socks you in the stomach*

>>213153596
Okay, but what law did he actually break. If you don't touch the women, what do they get you on?

You read my posts and engage with them and you don’t even know I’m Indian. This is just more proof that Indians are white

>>213153596
he can hear the clap of some asscheeks from 3 miles away

>>213153617
I'd just start biting you and taking my pants off and rubbing mh penis on you, that would scare you off

dont feel like brushing my teeth

>>213153617
cope, you tried to murder all the Sikhs because they looked like a hippie version of you before the West

>>213153619
You can sniff but only at a certain distance
Government is misandryist like that

that's actually a grossly dumb take...but it's also incredibly offensive to Indians, so I'll go with it!

If I could drive a car into Hitler’s pussy I would drive so fast to make his pussy explode into stinky chunks of gore I hate that guy

>>213153645
It all seems very arbitrary. I genuinely think this is a violation of his civil rights

More than half of the ips in this thread are drunk or high

What if you woke up as a Japanese man in Kyoto

i did smoke some dank nugs earlier but my niggerlicious high is already wearing off

life aint shit but a fat vagina

there is an epidemic of adult babies out there right now, someone needs to start kicking their asses so they act right. if i hear another grown man say "adulting is hard" i'm gonna show him how hard life can be.

>>213153668
It’s a hell of a living, getting completely trashed and free-associating nonsense on 4chan.

Shart in gurdwart

bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EANmcleSSuE&list=WL&index=11

Drinking a cheap Tuscany

adulting is hard, and so am i

I don't think the n word is funny

THAT'S MY PURSE. I DON'T KNOW YOU

when I heard riley say the word, the N word, my first reaction wasnt "Oh my god, he just said the N word", it was "now how is a nigga gonna borrow a french fry? NIGGA IS YOU GONN' GIVE IT BACK???"

>>213153480
That's not what happened at all.

>>213153725
Whomst

>>213153668
oh, don't play that card, I had bang in India, I was rebounding off the floor hallucinating gargoyles within the hour

>>213153704
lick on deez nutz and suck tha dick

Fred is a weird dude but he has a certain genius

lol

walking around in public with your arms locked at 90 degrees while stoically saying "beep boop, beep boop, boop beep" so that people understand that you are in fact a robot.

There were multiple guys named Riley at my school when I was a kid, but now I don’t know any male Rileys; they’re all female… no troons either!

I chinese went back in time and unvented the car, then reinvented the car john madden

>>213153751
based and robotpilled fuck society

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE

>>213153658
Terrific post , but Hitlers pussy is for aryans, not for jeets

>>213153734
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKHzEYaNSbE

imagine going back in time and warning Hitler about Normandy

imagine how mad the allies would be LOL

>>213153764
THE USELESS TWISTING OF OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY

If Hitler was a nigger would you still support him?
Same policies, same Holocaust but he looks and speaks like a nigger
Not so Nazi loving are you now

Uncle Adolf was a big sweetie who loved animals and always finished his day with some tea and cakes

>hey guys remember me? you didn't forget about me did you?

I just chinesed and no one said bress you

>>213153797
how nu r u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-KkP58qukM&list=RDv-KkP58qukM&start_radio=1

>>213153797
>Motha fuggin jews sheeeeeeet man that ain't no thang not on my block sheeet

>>213153797
Friend/enemy distinction. If Hitler were a Jew, would you support him? That’s just Zionism. I’m not committed to the ideas no matter who advances them; I’m committed to my people, and advancing our interests. Even Hitler being German puts him a bit on the periphery.

>>213153807

>>213153811
gomenasai

A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "Why?" Doctor said, "You have a cataract." Chinaman says, "No, I have a Rincoln Continental."

>>213153807
She's still my girlfriend and sits on my face every night

>>213153829
jej

"Tell that motherfucker to suck my dick"

-George Washington, probably

>>213153858
i heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks.

Ufc starts at 11am tomorrow so I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn like I'm jocko willink or some shit

>>213153797
>support hitler
uhhh, no. that guy was a fucking fag. I’d give him breast implants and then rape his tits.

A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. When he arrives at the doctor's, he instead finds a man with a long braid in the office. The man says DING DONG BANNU, MINISTRY FOR VISITING NON-TRADITIONAL MEDICINAL PRACTITIONERS PUT A BAN ON YOUR ACTIONS!

I don't care about anything
Nothing brings me joy

>>213153878
If you had 30 of those things you could be experiencing an orgasm like every minute

Right now I’m eating a big bowl of poop.

>>213153829
Sun Tzu over here

>>213153902
go for an incelwalk. you'll feel better afterwards.

positively wild thread tonight lads

>>213153894
Thats what the KKK did. even in all his nazi regalia that's still a nigger, a protected class.
And the KKK is the American version of Nazism so if you raped a Nazi nigger it would be like friendly fire or something idk

>>213153921
nah man let him cook

*italian voice* I shitta my pantsa

>>213153900
Is this true

>>213153836
Do you get pink eye?

>>213153935
Funniest post in this thread

>>213153902
Have you tried taking meth and jerking off for 10 hours?

if I had 30 dicks I could cum 30 times in under a minute

Remember Wedge Antilles from Star Wars? Yeah, I gave myself a lasagna enema garfield.

>>213153740
I think he's a musical genius

>>213153941
gross video

*cholo voice* eyyyyy homes i just shit my pants ese

>>213153941
No we practice good hygiene

If I looked more like chinese hitler then maybe I could finally get a muscle mommy to cook and eat my entire head.

>>213153944
You'd pass out from fluid loss. Producing that amount of cum would use up all your bodily fluids

>Gross video

I am ugly

I want a fat fucking cow gf with giant tits

>>213153964
only on the inside
and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

>>213153963
i look like this thoever

>>213153968
Been there, done that
It's lame
Petite is better

>>213153955
*cumtown voice* it's like he shit his pants but he's also gay hehehehehe even his dump was gay
yeah, I guess he had to go to Fire Island for that dump
hehehehehehehehe

>>213153955
Dis is por mi familia holmes *shits on the street while blasting polka music*

They said no ugly people exists

>>213153962
>You'd pass out from fluid loss
No you wouldn't retard average volume of cum is 1-5 ml at 30 times that 150 ml which is less than 8oz

Maybe not a hog, but a tasteful gordita

Aughgh fuck I’m the opposite of cumming. My dick is snorting up beer like an elephant trunk. My dick is drunk! He’s such a retard and fag.

>>213153944
Do they all have their own shafts like tentacles or is it like a multi pipetter

>>213153984
I'm not kidding this show ruined my brain every time I hear a joke now I'm like "this is just like this cumtown bit" or if I see something irl I'm like "this is just like that cumtown bit" when I hear celebrity impressions in my head I hear nick's version of them, genuinely stronger than heroin for young lonely men

>>213153953
She’s Jewish

>>213154007
I envisioned it as one huge ball sack and a cluster of 30 shafts above it on a cool red demon dude

Guys, I'm a real lefty, I'm the dirtbag left! Yeah, like a GAY HOMOSEXUAL who's also left and dirtbag
hahahahahahha
hehehehehehe
probably got a ruptured asshole
and he also sounds Indian
hahahahahahahah

>>213153996
Ok so not only are you losing 150 ml from cum bit then you factor in the exertion of masturbating 30 at once you'd be sweating like crazy having to switch hands fast to keep each one from going flaccid so you'd still pass out
I rest my case

>>213154020
Love that for her

>>213154020
i know

>>213154014
I love that podcast. Definitely Nick changed my psychology for the worse. I’m fuckin gay

>>213154024
I just get 30 women to suck me off no work on my part I win and disappoint them all at once

>>213154007
Would the multi pipetter penis have one shaft a 30 heads or what

i heard during the holocaust they had milking machines that would jack off prisoners nonstop 24/7

Yo that guy is a fucking loser

>>213154030
tf am i looking at?

>>213154021
Sounds Lovecraftian
>>213154040
One big shaft that branches into 30 smaller shafts

>>213154014
I liked woke mobsters post facto tbth

>>213154038
Ok so are these women midgets or what or are these 30 dicks so tiny you can fit in 30 women easy?
Wow you did not think this through

How about Medusa but instead of snakes she’s got a bunch of writhing penises

>>213154047
Mikey Madison bound and gagged in her role as Ani in the movie Anora

>>213154058
There's probably a mythology out there that has a creature like this

>>213154058
cut or uncut?

Use that picture of the pig with shit on its balls for the new

>>213154054
I already said I am a 30 dicked demon this scenario this is not beyond me

>>213154059
grim

>>213154078
>>213154078
New

>>213153061
I think about this almost every day

I have so much in EBT and so little in USD

>>213153500
Get out