Thread 213492815

brekkie edish

love being condescending to women and calling them 'love' or 'darling'

>>213492815 (OP)
Spaino

might have a wank to megan thee stallion

had a dream I got rejected by a girl
even in my dreams I can't shag

and so i march into toil like a criminal to the gallows

I HATE capitalised /brit/

>>213492843
even in your dreams you can't shag

>>213492845
it's 5pm, Bruce

>>213492862
done him

today I will do the dishes

>>213492843
ktim

my favourite australian? the sniper from tf2

Will write a story about a man accused of a crime he did not commit.

>>213492918
dont like any Australians

>>213492918
Based

>>213492918
snipin's a good job mate

I got banned

sometimes smell the smells coming out of my bum and wonder how gay men can actively try to be as close as possible to the male arse

>>213492983
The best post /brit/ has ever had

they are yet to be housed fed and wanked

raping my arse in bed

>>213493012
women also fart and poo and their vaginas are full of piss and crusty blood i will accept that mens hairy undercarriages are grim thoughbeit

>>213492983
not even Barry Humphries?

>>213492843
howling this is me

>>213493068
ye but vaginas are grim
it's the breasts and arse and tummys and thighs and faces they are attached to that are peng
what do men have? some shoulders if you're in shape i.e. nothing

Something unnerving about a capitalised /brit/

another grey blustery day on this gay island

WE ARE STILL HERE

>>213493135
sunny and blustery round my end

see you there lads

>>213493153
leftypol turning a blind eye to this

is it gay to lie on your front to tan your back as a man.

sunny with a breeze on the block

>>213493153
>the knowledge college
Kek

gf desperately messaging me saying it was a mistake to break up with me, she's very VERY fit but she's just not a good person

rape chungus

a thick layer of biomass

any toil man in?

>>213493210
*sprinkles some chlorine granules on it, leaves it for 24 hours until the organic matter has been denatured then gives it a good scrub with a scour*

>>213493191
fUCK
oFF
nEURO
tYPICAL

>>213493191
Talaq Talaq Talaq

>>213492842
she's alright for a blackie

>Jay Blades charged with 2 (two) rapes

why are beeb presenters such coomers

Wednesday, the 6th of August Now that sounds like a good day to put down the booze, drugs. bedrotting and wanking. A fresh start.

>>213493277
Sat behind him on a plane once

What do you think of Sargon? He sounds like a centrist fag

>>213493301
safer than him behind you by the sound of things

>>213493301
did he do any raping?

>>213493297
always saw him on telly mumberg was watching and told him that nigger is wrong'un, they just put him on TV and chuck him in a suit to make him look intelligent

Slow day on the ol' /'rit/

seeking refuge in the loo

>>213493277
>>213493297
>>213493321
never liked him, he did fuck all on the repair shop

>>213493309
Hardly know who he is and im an incel chud interested in britsh politics. He is a nobody

>>213493191
You’re a virgin with 3 contacts in your phone mate stop lying

*jumpscares you*

>>213493309
dont think about youtubers at all

who are some other tv personalities you think will manage to implode their cushy careers

>>213493309
Give him credit for building the world’s first empire, but Hammurabi was the bringer of law and order.

any gluten free vegan man in

They're about to announce a new wave of redundancies but I've already accepted a lucrative MARS settlement.

>>213493277
knew him from work
he was always nice to me

i have 6 contacts on my phone

>>213493380
>clean streets
>not much traffic
it could be way, way worse for that fella
he's just complaining about the weather mostly surely

>>213493402
ktim but five. three family members, the exberg, and my car insurance provider

>>213493380
what happens in Stoke-on-Trent?

>>213493380
this but i'm alone so my mental health walks are seeing everyone else with people and fit young girls and remembering i'm a FA incel
so yeah leaving the house actually makes me feel worse haha x

>>213493401
you sure he didn't rape you?

>>213493401
thats how they get you

>>213493370
cared enough to reply

ENOUGH TALK!

>>213493399
Big consultation at my place at the moment which is by their own timetable gonna stretch all the way to November before 500 of us go
They just expect everyone to carry on as normal for months lmao

luv coming here during despairing wagie hours and shitposting from my comfy bed

>>213493372
steven bartlett

that's very embarrassing what you just posted

>>213493402
got 3 me

personally I would like to see more of my BBC licence payer tax money be given to Ashley Banjo and his brother Jordan Banjo

>>213493439
They've already announced that they will only be giving the statutory one week of pay per year you've worked here as redundancy payments.

Meanwhile I'm getting six months' pay tax free as my settlement payment.

>>213493277
its always the ones you least suspect.
*googles Jay Blades*
ah ok nvm

I want to mpreg him

Watches are just male jewellery. What do you need to know the time for, when you're going to kiss men next?

>>213493509
say this everytime I look in a mirror

encouraging suicide is a crime in this country
think very carefully before you tell me to kms

>>213493520
ok

>>213493500
in fairness I didn't expect Huw Edwards to be involved with a young black tranny and to have a photo of his huw-mongous caked up arse leak, destroying his career

>>213493439
Remember when a place I worked for never ended up renewing my contract for a bullshit cost cutting reason despite bringing in some finance manager on a salary probably 3x that of mine, was going to keep in contact with them on good terms but seethed for weeks and never did call them back and never kept contact on linkedin

>>213493422
no

Got a recipe for homemade pickled fish?

>He has also hosted Money for Nothing, Jay Blades' Home Fix and Jay and Dom's Home Fix, and in 2022 he fronted a documentary about learning to read at the age of 51.
nigga can't even read

>>213493543
just shove a fish up your mums minge for a while

>>213493543
don't wash your willard for a week

>>213493543
yeah basically get a fish, put it in a jar, and cover it in 2 parts vinegar, 1 part water, 1 part piss

rorke signing his name with a green crayon

You've been looking for someone to believe in to love you until your eyes run dry

don't think Hell is actually that bad, probably just get poked in the bum with a trident occasionally by some little devil fella

>>213493559
>>213493560
>>213493564
Im being serious

>>213493543
that history food poof did a video on garum once

Why are people spazzing out about sidney sweeneys advert? Genuinely dont get it

>>213493575
Dante put Mohammad in hell, according to his vision he is alive but he hangs from the ceiling and he is split from arsehole to chin

>>213493602
she doesn't show her tits in it

>>213493551
maybe couldn't read consent laws and thought raping was okay

wanted to learn about computers
started reading about transistors and got confused and gave up

>>213493530
Even aside from the crime aspect, it's not the sort of behaviour that should be encouraged here. At the end of the day we probably have more in common with one another here than with anyone else in the country, we merry band of losers in this general.

I try to call it out when I see it happening and I try to talk lads down when they're deep in the hole with thoughts of the ol' 'cide. Regardless of what you think of someone as a poster, you shouldn't be calling for their suicide.

>um no what about X dolly who spams Y
Yeah, that person too. Whoever he is, you shouldn't be championing his suicide.

>>213493530
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaWANONviDg

>>213493596
But Garum is a fermented sauce, but yeah maybe ill look up for recipes on youtube thank you

>>213493575
Isnt hell just living in absence of god?

Brain fried tonight through misuse
Through misuse, through misuse

>>213493627
at least you didn't try, that's what counts

>>213493611
didn't he also put Boniface VIII in hell lol

>>213493602
jealousy

>>213493634
well I do that already soooo....

>>213493636
i tried reading

if i were in hell i would simple walk out

>>213493596
He did two videos on garum, the second one was better.

going to get a boiling hot coffee sucked down my quivering gob

>>213493668
You could possibly phrase that in a more homosexual way.

>>213493663
that's the premise of the video game Hades

good game that, good game

If I went to hell I would work my way up and become one of the demons who do the torturing and after a few thousand years of gaining the devils trust I would steal his keys and do an epic motorbike chase into heaven and get in just as the pearly gates are a closin’

>>213493690
*you could not
Not sure how I omitted the ‘not’.

>>213493668
i too fancy sucking a covfefe

>>213493692
didnt know we had Latinos here

tired i am i am x

>>213493668
sucking one down from my filthy filthy mug right now

>>213493692
riz ahmed becoming a cholo

the last 6 months have felt like 2 or 3 years. time flies my arse

Mental how precarious our naked existence is isn't it lads?

If we were dropped into a forest despite plentiful food and water we would probably all be dead within a week.

Hunter gatherers spent hundreds of years gathering knowledge of seasonal berry/nut groves, fish migration patterns and drinkable streams.

>>213493748
Give it a wash!!

bums

Emma Watson fecal matter will be today’s entree.

>>213493602
she'd get it right up the arse

>>213493763
got i love (womens) bums

>>213493763
Need my nose surgically attached to her anus using cutting edge surgical techniques pronto

Had such a bussin sleep
Disturbed dreams
But a bussin sleep nonetheless

>>213493762
I just keep refilling it with coffee, like a kind of perpetual stew if you will

>>213493780
no you do not

>>213493751
why were the greeks all gay paedos

>female arse
ban it, delete it, send ofcom commandos
>year on blacked spam
nothing we can do

>>213493797
Based

uwaaaaa >.< im such a baka...

get the tea drank
get the dles done
get the work ignored

shame there arent any nerdy anime women with ahoges and swirly glasses in real life

need to get myself together and stop dressing like a dosser

>>213492837
I was hanging out with my friend and his annoying fuckbuddy and addressed her as 'lady' the whole time until she stormed out lmfao
Hoes cant handle the archie bunker flow

the worst thing you can ask someone to do, is ask him to restart his computer

>>213493944
A poo gained

>>213493992
stop replying to me with grotesque words

pissing out of my arse

need to get on tren and bring my body to it's maximum potential and then have my heart explode and die in a glorious finale while lifting a fiat 500 above my head

Why do fat americans look so much more repulsive than fat Europeans?
Fat Brits and Germans often look like a jolly innkeeper or farmers wife while fat yanks look slug-like and generally repellent.
My headcanon is that Europeans are more likely to be fat through excessive alcohol so they're less flabby and greasy, while American fatties are like that due to vast quantities of toxic chemical goyslop

>>213493904
Today's wordle efforts.

You will note that my thumbnail doesn't spoil the wordle, because I am a very conscientious person. Only unkind, unthinking psychopaths spoil the worlde in their thumbnails.

sweating out me arse

Having awful dental hygiene at the moment, going like days without brushing. Dentistberg isn't gonna be happy with me when I see him later this month

>>213493964
but I'm in the middle of downloading 8GB of JAV that won't be finished until 3am tomorrow!

>>213494052
haven't brushed my teeth in months mate, breath smells a bit and cant chew anything thats hard but other than that not too bad

big fat veiny tits with chunky nipples

>>213494052
>>213494067
great britain the repugnant ogre island

i want a twink in my arms so bad bros

>>213494067
chew on this
*inserts my limp 3 inch chopper into your mouth*

>>213494041
yanks also cannot stop sharting

>>213494087
Big fat veiny tits with small aureola and tiny pink nipples

willies come in all shapes and sizes, dont let porn get you down kings

>>213494106
no those are not aesthetically pleasing to me get them away

>>213494052
He'll make his disapproval known by prodding at each section of your gums and saying 'upper left 3', etc.

>>213494105
Many are saying this

>>213494122
Not ALL shapes surely

>>213494042
Got it the same amount too, the last three of mine were all the same except for the last letter which is a shame

>>213494122
I have a 6 inch willer with no obvious deformaties
not that its made any difference to my virginity

>>213494123
More for me then >:]

Ban porn. Fuck age verification. We did not evolve to deal with the powerful stimulus that is porn

>>213494163
bro is bragging about being 6 inches

>>213493692
That's my place right next to the tracks. I'm closer to using this gun on myself every 30 minute interval but you gotta hustle to lock down a place that costs $2800 a month.

why is it that whenever they open up some chinese or indian's suitcase on Border Force there's just a bunch of loose vegetables inside like stalks of corn or some shit covered in dried mud and non-native aphids

what the fuck are these people thinking? They have corn where you're going, you don't need a suitcase full of corn.

>>213494185
We have a border force?

>>213494181
that's bigger than average mate, maybe stop watching so much porn x

>>213494170
It's like my brain took a violent swerve into another lane when I read this

what the fuck are these people thinking? They have currency where you're going, you don't need a pocket full of physical currency.

>>213494041
Yeah mate Brits famous for never consuming goyslop aren't they

He's running scared

I cant believe it
i aint seen an arse like that
the way you move it you make my willy go
doing doing doing

£192 a month for the council to empty my bins twice a month. Fucking rip off is what it is

>>213494202
it's usually Border Force Australia that I watch on telly

that's the one I mean.

>>213494223
need that shipped to me on a monthly basis

>>213493575
fucking hell

playing that game 'hades' which was mentioned earlier.

>>213494231
Revolt. Stop letting these fat pasty boomers be your nanny

>>213494231
Can't wait to see him at the docks and his face crumple as a drumhead court-martials sentences him to death

>>213494203
no woman cares if you're like 0.3 inches above average lol
6 inches is decent but unremarkable, it's the 5'10 of willy sizes

I can say honestly and without irony that I have never stepped foot inside an Iceland or Farmfoods supermarket in my entire life and I can tell you right now that I never will.

>>213494275
howling

>>213494253
pay tax on my income and tax on my house and tax on every single thing i ever buy to stay alive and STILL the country is in utter shit what more do they need of me?

>>213494305
that's why mums go to iceland

Aye, my retirement looks okay, how about yours?

>>213494305
Congratulations on being less than 1% of the population

>>213494223
It's a slightly better class of goyslop than yank goyslop though
Iceland battered chicken strips are obviously still slop but the macros are legitimately not bad.

>>213494231
Sir Wank Banner is finished

reading about the Dutch East India Company
Apparently they actually lost quite a few wars in the Far East - they got humiliated in Taiwan and then booted out of Cambodia

>he thinks he's going to be able to access his pension

omdz

>>213494322
looks terrible. what is this site?

i think I'd like to live in a nice mental asylum. that would be nice.

On the crosswords

>>213494363
nvm it is monthly

>>213494372
alri Joan Elisabeth Lowther Clarke

>>213494372
don't do it lad

>>213494370
I was in a mental hospital for a week after a suicide attempt. If you have any questions about the experience I will answer them as best I can.

>>213494457
Did they give you drugs to help you sleep?

>>213494429
SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS
CROSSROADS
CROSSROADS

>>213494457
have you stopped being a pathetic waste of skin?

>>213494301
girls are well known to overestimate nob size and think 6 inches is big

>>213494322
my employee contribution is 29% because I'm a based civil servant

>>213494253
How do the paki households with like 8 people living in them manage

leftypol sucking down a supermalt
he hates it

>>213494359
You're not going to get a government pension which is why it's especially important to build a private one

work is making me do work. the fucking pricks

>>213494590
guffawing at these spacks trying to blame govt for their shit business when they close at 7 on a Saturday

>>213494612
Outrageous
Write to your MP about it

MY TUMMY FEELS FUNNY

>>213494623
That reply profile pic looks like the most AIDS ridden creature ive ever seen

>>213494231
>cutting disability benefits
>migrants
>Online Safety Act

He’s not going to survive the next election. It’s actually miraculous he had this many blunders and became this authoritarian in such a short span of time.

I'm a white, capitalist, Christian

>>213494652
would the torys have done anything different?

>>213494636
it's not your ma so how could it be

>>213494488
Not typically, no. The only drugs they gave me were sertraline (which they started me on when I was in there, administered in the morning) and they also gave me 1 clonazepam at one point not long after I arrived because I was so anxious I could neither pee nor poo. Embarrassingly I had to tell the doctor that I was unable to pee or poo, despite needing to go, due to being gripped with anxiety. That was weird.

Other patients might have been given pills to sleep but I doubt it and certainly never saw it. I did see one of the loud nutter BPD women get carted off into a room and presumably stuck in the arse with a syringe after she kicked off more than usual. She also wasn't allowed to eat with us in the cafeteria due to prior bad behaviour.

>>213494501
Not really. I'm still alive but I only do as much as is required to stay alive and nothing more.

Homemade chinker

>>213494652
another 4 years of this shite

>>213494322
only started paying in this year, wish I did it 10 years ago but I was dumb

>Hospital worker left UK ‘never to be seen again’ after girl died under his watch
>on February 12 2022, the member of staff responsible for watching her – a man then known as Ebo Acheampong – failed to maintain the constant supervision plan, the court was told.
>Thames Valley Police launched an investigation and found Acheampong had gone to Heathrow airport and got on a plane to Ghana “never to be seen again”, the coroner said.

This another one of those essential workers leftypol tells us we just couldn't manage without?

>>213494668
Probably not, but it’s significant in the sense that naive people voted Labour in thinking they’d be different. There’s a chance Reform might actually win because of this. Going after porn is a death sentence for politicians nowadays.

>>213494714
leftypol turning a blind eye to this

>>213494652
>became this authoritarian in such a short span of time.

hes been authoritarian since he became Labour leader, absolutely gutted any semblance of the left wing out of the party through expulsions

>>213494714
>Acheampong

>>213494692
didn't know you could buy dog meat in ethiopia

>>213494775
that's a bit of me that.

>>213494714
Ghana and never to be seen again

>>213494714
mad to think theres hundreds of thousands of people just like him working in this country. and we're all scratching our heads wondering why everything is in this country is shit and failing.
all thanks to leftypol lunacy.

basically im not happy

we are genuinely so fucked in about 50 years when current zoomers retire. they just aren't paying in to private pension and they're never going to get their state pension

>>213494714
See now if this country had any balls we would force the government in Ghana to find him and bring him to us for punishment, until they do zero visas of any kind will be given to Ghanaian people wanting to come here

>>213494714
>witnesses report after the girl's body was found, Acheampong said "I'm Ghana get out of here" and fled the hospital

>>213494815
Society will not be the same as it is now. Thinks have changed enormously the past 5 years. Another 20 will be huge.

>>213494000
No, I will keep replying

>>213494692
Mental how within a few years time Tigrayan soldiers will be marching through Addis Abbas stringing you up along lamp posts

>>213494815
the UK won't exist by then anyway. neither will the US. both countries will implode under the stress of trying to cram bodies in, and there will be food shortages and civil war

>>213494775
rum looking croissant

>>213494815
Making projections out 50 years is hard given the current rate of technological change. We'll probably have one world govt by then.

>>213494815
I’m hording cash and saving right now due to the fact that I’m still living with my mum, so I should be fine.

I’m genuinely the richest person I know, and I’m just a civil servant.

30 years old and I make 12 pound an hour. Couldn't give a hoot about pensions. When my body breaks down and I can't wageslave anymore I'll top myself. Perhaps before.

>>213494815
the pension is too big to fail, unless UBI becomes standard

>>213494801
You're telling me it's not a good policy to refuse to hire our newly graduated highly trained nurses and instead look to Africa and their Mikey mouse qualifications instead?

>>213494838
sensibly chuckled at this

>>213494849
That's my ethnic group, lad

>>213494862
You watch too many movies.

isn't the average willy size like 4" or something haha

>>213494866
>I’m hording cash
If you haven't noticed they're doing everything in their power to outlaw cash
You need to be hoarding commodities like gold

make 32k and i don't even give a fuck. not like i'll ever have a family so why even try

>>213494815
Why the fuck should they pay into a private pension? Boomers get a state pension so zoomers should as well.

>>213494877
erm are you suggesting they're not educated to provide the same level of care as native UK white nurses trained at Rustlers Group universities?

>>213494902
it's 5.1 - 5.5 according to ask jeeves

>>213494849
>Tigrayan soldiers
Bringing their dragons along too?

*throws a hand grenade into the thread*

>>213494877
I thiught we all agreed doctors and nurses were evil for wanting more money and leaving to other countries for more money

>>213494921
uhhh must be wrong haha

>>213494916
because the state pension is only 230 a week

>>213494926
*covers it with my arse trying to save everyone*

>>213494889
Oromo-coded post

>>213494916
boomers are not living off their state pensions

>>213494907
They’ll try, but cash is just too hard to control right now.

I’ve noticed a lot of businesses are cash only or cash preferred simply because they want stuff off the record.

>>213494928
https://www.nursingtimes.net/newly-registered-nurses/new-nurses-turning-to-coffee-shop-work-amid-nhs-job-shortage-15-05-2025/
Our current batch of nurses can't even get to the point of asking for more money because they're not being hired
There's a shortage of positions you see
Apparently

>>213494926
You forgot to pull the pin lad

what’s weird is normal everyday people who are in full support of phasing out cash entirely. Extremely weird behaviour, if you don’t like cash you don’t have to use it but to want to gone completely? Very weird

state pensions will carry on because all the millions of muslims the government and leftypol are obsessed with and bend over backwards to accommodate all rely on it.
they dont pay into private pensions for some reason.
so its not going anywhere because governments and leftypol will never do anything to upset their precious muslims

>>213494945
*attempts to suck it out later on at the hospital*

>>213494954
Our boomers aren’t all the same as US boomers.

Lots of them are poor as fuck and just live off their pension.

just witnessed a very healthy sexual relationship

There will be plenty of money for pensions once the PAYE revenue from the Boriswave and Wallacewave starts coming in. You know, from their full time on-the-books employment. Any day now.

It's not like these people just mill about the town centre and parks all day.

>>213495016
WEW
E
W

>>213494990
Normal people have absolutely no idea about what they talk about nor the consequences of their retarded ideas. They should be ignored, they're basically children.

need faggots erased from existence

>>213494990
I’ve never seen a normal person who wants to phase out cash. If anything, a lot of them are aware it’s the superior option. The only reason people use cards at all is laziness.

>>213495044
erm the line went up 0.3% mate. completely worth it

right well that's a homosexual man ravenously licking another homosexual mans severely prolapsed anus that's hanging at least twelve inches each way outside his bum isn't it?

only criminals use cash these days. get it gone

>>213495025
It's as if they're trying to convince the world that Hitler wasn't wrong about them.

>>213495025
based Sorbo

>>213495091
raped fool

>>213495025
Aren't jews supposed to be smart
Don't they know they should be subtle about this, I'm sure they used to know

>>213495025
Based

dadberg will take out money at the cash machine so he can immediately use the cash in a shop or restaurant that accepts debit cards

>>213495067
sorry but you're a repressing faggot.

15 minute cashless walkable cities

>>213495126
the eternal faggot retard cope

rorkeable cities

go the window cleaner coming soon, can't use my card can i

crazy how there hasn't been a good tv show in over a decade

I only hear of white people moving to whiter areas. I never hear someone from a small village moved to Birmingham or London.

>>213495044
If London is anything to go by they're all employed by tfl
Standing around with vacant gormless expressions and unable to answer any questions

>>213495147
>I'm thinking about gay sex again at 2-5 am...really hate those gay people mhm x
Sorry, not convinced.

>>213495197
due to woke

>>213495219
must have missed the webm that was just posted huh
fuck off queer faggot retard

>>213495216
lot of good jobs going as a CAHMS Suicide Watcher on the NHS too

then if your ward dies you just dip to Ghana

>>213495219
blind mong

New

>>213495196
>>213495196

>>213495107
Nothing subtle about them.

Trump is demanding that DEI considerations for preferential treatment ONLY applies to Jews. This means institutions can fully discriminate against white people in favor of jews. But no other identity group will be allowed preferential treatment.

>>213495213
People still do it, but only for work reasons.

>>213495279
>>213495279
>>213495279