/cum/ humor-edition

dogshit

And so we lay, we lay in the same grave
Our chemical wedding day

>>213554914 (OP)
this is old

I dont get it

Gn cum

>no lain edition
Slow bitch

would you live in Nordwestmecklenburg ?

Jason was born in the 90s hes not an iPad baby

>>213554935
good night my cute little starling

>>213554930
It can't be that old. Those reactions are rather new no? Then again I haven't used Facebook in over a decade and when I did it was just to play pocket god.

>>213554944
Only if your mom does outcalls

Would you have sex with a clone of yourself?

>>213554940
under Lenin the Soviet Union was very jewish and faggotry was decriminalized then under Stalin the Soviet Union became less jewish and faggotry was made illegal

>>213554966
am I the bottom or the top

>>213554993
Whatever you can get a clone of yourself to agree to

>>213554966
if i framed this in another way
> do you think another person, man or woman, would want to have sex with you
the answer is no.

What if you clone yourself and find out your bussy whack?

i am younger than jason

>>213554966
no. never.

Vivek will be governor of Ohio, Mamdani will be mayor of New York, Second Lady is Indian

>>213554999
Can I rape my clone ?

>>213554988
Making shit up on the internet is fun I see

>>213555033
no he tries to rape you

>>213555032
okay

>>213554988

stop replying to goshpedo

>>213555032
The second lady of the USA is Indian

>>213555039
>>213555045
dont reply to goshpedo

>>213555029
Why not

My left ear is a faggot I don’t want it anymore, I might burn it off in a car crash inside a dream. We live inside a dream. I would never crash my car, I am the perfect driver.

i will reply to goshpedo

>>213555069
im evil.

>>213555076
Are you having an episode right now

yesterday i found out Peter Thiel isn't jewish

>>213555088
It really depends on how you define episode

Clues by Sam solved in less than three minutes

>>213555103
Do you really want to cut your ear off

WOAH BUDDY MUTAHAR IS GETTING FELTED LIVE ON THE KINO CASINO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE, THE THING FROM YESTERDAY'S SHOW BUT AGAIN! IT'S MUTAHAR WEEK!

I got no earthly idea what israel is gonna do when the icj says they're doing genocide. feels like that's where everything heading after all this aid shit

>>213555103
22 minutes of story content with 2 breaks of commercials, each break being 4 minutes long

>>213555111
Burn it off, but no.

Back in the 90s we watched mtv

>>213555131
Just like Family Guy!

Favorite dragon ball character?

Need help in my life but I don't know where to turn. Nobody could understand what it's like to be a sensitive young man

https://youtube.com/shorts/XKEqJk2siYA

>>213555146
Go to bed grandpa

>>213555149
Vegeta

>>213555146
unc

>>213555149
piccolo

https://youtu.be/K0DDY299Ly4?si=ivRTl9WMAojApFoG

Uncette figured it out

**punches you**

>>213555149
Yajirobe

>>213555199
*punches u in the FACE*

>>213555212
**brings out my boxing gloves**

>Tune into JRE for the first time in forever.
>Guest immediately says something factually incorrect.
It's one thing if he's a conspiratard, but he's supposed to be a professional.

>>213555227
are you professionally retarded

>>213555227
i stopped watching him 5 years ago

>>213555220
*beats u to a PULP*

>>213555198
uncette tweakin

Second city of my fantasy map is finished. Now adding in some things in between the two.

i never knew that hawaii was larger than some states like massachusetts and new jersey. always seemed tiny to me.

>>213555240
**pulls out my blade**

Joe Rogan is extremely influential

>>213555266
It's the Big Island. The big chungus. Way larger than all the others and bigger than Connecticut

drinking milk

>>213555291
u wanna go, froggy boy??

Watched Clairo v Laufey on hot ones and now I think clairo might b retarded

>>213555149
gohan, obviously

>>213555314
**pulls out my panzerfaust**

I need to to the hurting place for the hurting of myself

*pulls out my plastic dinosaur toy*
you're finished! nom nom nom

>>213555149
Piccolo because he's black

>>213555334
*teleports behind u*
nice try kid

https://x.com/Dolfijnmanjohns/status/1952624095901691912

>>213555345
*crushes it with my meteor(my basketball)

>>213555354
**turns around faster than you can blink**
**burns you to a crisp**

Wanna buy an EV

ayooo dis nigga buying an EEEEEEEE VEEEEEE

>>213555392
yes i would like to purchase one european vixen

https://x.com/queenwartooth/status/1952904786195693580

>>213555402
Gonna by the Sony car

>>213554914 (OP)
>give Ipad to baby
>do not restrict access to funny sink water
>baby drinks funny sink water
>baby dies

No way this my fault it has to be the IPad I gave him.

>>213555401
for me, it's flarion. they're so cute and fluffy. :3

drumpf BTFO!
https://x.com/SarahIronside6/status/1952706614454014136

>>213555332
Which version
>>213555302
Sup t Hanks

my balls itch

>CPU started trying to kill itself all of a sudden
welp i guess it's time about time for a new build anyway

>>213555448
SS1 when he watched cell crush 16's head

>>213555381
*jumps away faster than the speed of light and shoots 3 arrows into you with ninja speed*

>>213555401
Gonna watch anime on the GO

/mu/ might genuinely be the most worthless board on this site nowadays

>>213555465
Ok. Teen Gohan is the only version of him worthy of being a favorite

https://youtu.be/mXhnZxxsXOo?feature=shared

>>213555227
joe rogan is just a milquetoast alex jones for center-right retarded zoomers

I'm the only viewer on some old niggas stream and I'll feel bad if I leave

For me, it's Lithuania's new prime minister Inga Ruginienė.

>>213555227
>Expecting infallibility in a 3 hour long conversation

>>213555504
Lithuania has an awful flag. They need to change it.

>>213555476
grim state

>>213555504
ugly

This is what you crave

>>213555525
Stop looking at the reflection in your monitor bro

playing gmod ttt

>>213555534
GOTTEM!

>>213555532
eh

deep fried oreos are better

Poop

pee

>>213555518
A Sony executive used a PlayStation controller to drive the car!

>>213555516
I expect an expert on something to last 5 minutes without saying anything false.

>Making shit up on the internet is fun I see

Cum lol

>>213555549
that sounds worse

>>213555227
his podcast is well-known for being the epicenter of misinformation/disinformation, what did you expect

>>213555557
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little comment p and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the comment. The "epic" "lol, cum", isn't it? I imagine you laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a north american general. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic australian NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "LOL, CUM." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.


Forever...

>>213555561
I have been waiting for this since 1997

>>213555586
but you lose the joy of driving

who else never opens his links?

>>213555240
The problem with 3D women is they all have these absolutely disgusting smelly holes between their legs. Gross vagsmegma, blood, goo, and other foul substances constantly secrete from them, in addition to them being disturbingly close to the hole that poop comes out of. Once I realized that I could never feel any attraction to a 3D pig disgusting femoid. Just thinking of that rotten smell again gives me PTSD flashbacks and makes me start retching.
>>213554914 (OP)
I regularly sleep for days straight almost constantly. I have 3 days off a week and I usually sleep the vast majority of those 72 hours. I also dream the entire time. I noticed that dreaming is very similar to DMT after a while.

Something really spooky though, usually around day 3 my relatively mundane and placid dreams start to take on a weird sinister undertone. Like the people in the dreams suddenly I start detecting this vast, titanic darkness and malice hiding behind their eyes, and sense this deep darkness and pure evil almost unfathomable in its sheer magnitude. Suddenly what seemed to be just imaginary visual representations of people become some sort of cruel and spiteful entities that seem entirely foreign to my own consciousness. It's hard to describe the sheer intensity and scale of the evil that I feel almost radiating out of them, oozing from their visages. Usually upon realizing this I snap back awake and then I don't sleep anymore.

The implications really disturb me a lot.

>>213555639
>flashbacks
?

>>213555149
Frieza

>>213555612
I can still find joy in that THOUGH

>The smell of burnt toast, when not actually from burnt toast, is called phantosmia and can be a symptom of various conditions, including sinus issues, neurological disorders, or even a sign of a stroke or seizure in rare cases.

>>213554707
i'm disgusted by p*rn and i am on nofap forever

>>213555689
no, you cant

>>213555662
Have you never heard of a flashback? Like a memory that is visceral

Should I visit China, South Korea, or Japan?

>>213555705
no i meant, what exactly happened in the past to give you ptsd?

>>213555701
Wrong

>>213555717
japan

>5:20am
yeah im thinking it's sleeping time

sometimes, under the right lighting conditions, women's small weak hands can be very gross looking

>>213555726
youre wrong. shrimple as that!

saw the worlds fastest creature scurry into a dark corner when i walked into my furnace room

niggas be like
"eek! a woman's hand!"

>>213555746

>>213555773
sorry that was me

>>213555773
It's a rat

>>213555774
they're just so small and shriveled looking, like that guy from Scary Movie 2.

>>213555779
me when someone misgenders a trans child

>>213555717
China before it's too late.

>>213555779

>>213555723
Smelly pussy is what happened.

>>213555773

>>213555806
did she not practice hygiene?

i side with Candace Owens over Nick Fuentes but side with Nick Fuentes over Tucker Carlson

I'd go nick > tucker > Candace
Tucker is smarter than Nick but Nick seems more honest. Candace is just an apologetic grifter

N

>>213555849
o

https://youtu.be/pyDGTFqWouo

*hands over my crotch and knees turned inward as I continually step in place because I have to pee so bad*

Joe Rogan pbuh and David Goggins mogg them

N

I am a fan of cinema

I

>>213555866
cum

>>213555856
Thanks for standing up for us niggers

Saw Superman and Fantastic Four the other day.

>>213555863
It's hot when women piss themselves

cut it out with the racist bullsh*t

i got really angry and i said some really mean things that i have been withholding. i feel really bad now.

>>213555893
what did you say?

>>213555891

>>213555900
I called them meanie poopie heads

>>213555815
Idk. I don't wanna think about it anymore or I'm going to actually throw up

>>213555881
If you're gone
Baby, you need to come home, come home
There's a little bit of somethin' me
In everything in you

>>213555891
tryhard edgelord racism is really cringe and gets tiresome really fast here, but self censoring is just as retarded. faggot.

i look like this

>>213555958
r u srs?

I look like this

>>213555971
yes

https://files.catbox.moe/wwk6t6.mp4

crazy how being molested can reliably predict who you're going to vote for

>>213555958
*unzips dick*

>>213556002

Just was exchanging dirty texts with a random foreign forty year old woman
Came halfway through though and lost interest
It was pretty hot

>>213556002
wtf

>>213556000
what the fuck is that supposed to mean

*starts raping unexpectedly and out of control*

>>213556013
post screenshot

>>213556016
u slow or summin?

>>213556017
*rapping

>>213556027
It would be disrespectful to her privacy
For a forty year old she has really nice legs

>>213556017
Ahhhhh let go of me!!!!

shouldve reheated my omelette. Egg tastes terrible when its cold

>>213556036
no, im molested

mom bought me the promo card

*starts vaping unexpectedly and out of control*

https://www.reuters.com/pictures/pet-alligator-joins-her-human-family-pool-2025-08-04/

>>213556058
You mean the homo card

>>213556058
Shorty! You spoiled brat

gotta go to bed soon so im well rested for rape tomorrow

Would you hire someone who reeks of cum?
Let's say he has perfect qualifications, perfect resume, dressed impeccably, but you can smell the cum all over him

>>213556072
entitled to it i havent gotten a card in 2 months

>>213556085
Did you beat force unleashed or start any new games

Gonna play the Battefield 6 beta

>>213556081
yes and i'd contribute to his cum collection by requesting everyone at work to cum over him, just like in my animu

>>213556095
im stuck at the part where you are suppose to destroy the big star ship

>>213556078
giving or receiving

cum

>>213556110
I barely remember the game but I remember it being really short and easy. Get good

>>213556072
are you bully anon?

>>213556125
How the hell did you recognize me

>>213556125
why are you getting bullied

>>213556119
it is easy but that part with the big ship is busted on pc

>>213556113
receiving as always

>>213556142
Do you actually love Star wars like the whole universe and lore, or you just find the games fun

having heterossexual thoughts

>>213556139
you're easy to spot

>>213556161
i liked it a lot as a kid im just playing the games because i feel nostalgic for it

>>213556175
That didn't answer my question

Sucks having high libido in an anglo chud world

>>213556181
i shant and i also figured you're evil

>>213556195
What did that have to do with anything

whos bully anon and how vile is he

wish i was a neet but momberg forces me to toil

>>213556203
it has to do with everything. i shant be talking to you anymore.

I founded this general when I was recovering from brain surgery 10 years ago

>>213556213
I'm from the underworld. It is what it is. You're no better

Eating Swiss cheese.

>>213556217
this nigga tarded now

>>213556217
**hugs**
but bully anon will no longer receive hugs from me

>>213556217
Were they able to fix your canadaism

>>213556217
you have to be brain damaged to post here

>>213556177
How sisterberg

>>213556070
Cute! They told me reptiles can't be friends but clearly they were wrong. I wanna pet that dang ole' thang

goodnight

>>213556266
shes mad her braces are cutting her mouth shes also getting jaw surgery in september

>>213556217
wut happen

>>213556314
Do you know the sexican poster

>>213556322
i see him but i dont interact

>>213556217
Thanks founder anon
>>213554914 (OP)
I have an absolutely awful thing on my toe but I can't afford to go to the doctor. Hopefully they won't end up having to amputate my foot. I'll post pictures if you guys want. It's really, REALLY grotesque.

>>213556346
I thought you knew him more because he recognized me based on my interaction with you

My gooning mentality and my post-goon mentality are diametrically opposed
It's like Jekyll and Hyde

Stop trying to identify people. We are all anons

>>213556358
oh thats him i didnt know he posted so late at night

>humor edition

Please don't

This thread was not funny

>>213556246
Yeah that's the remarkable thing, I stopped having seizures after and I stopped all medications

I used to post with a tripcode called "Queens"

>>213556382
Does sisterberg use 4chan

>>213556393
no only discord

>>213556401
I need to add you on steam one of these days. You and sisterberg fascinate me

>>213556428
i wouldnt want to add anyone from /cum/ no offense i dont want to be tracked, i had 1 friend from 4chan and he was russian

Tfw no one wants to see my fucked up toe

>>213556443
Ain't nobody gonna track you on steam bro
Unless you have your whole name and city and shit on your profile like a dumbass

>>213556448
Im bored, post it

>>213556458
i mean track what im doing on steam

https://youtu.be/Zf5WPpyaPWo

>>213556460
Prepare yourself. It's been like this for an entire week it's even oozing some sort of liquid. It's really fucking gross I just keep 2 pairs of socks on and avoid looking at it because I'm scared.

>>213556487
disgusting mexican foot

>>213556493
I am not Mexican
But yeah it is very, very disgusting. Extremely.

>>213556463
I'll add you one of these days and buy you a game ok shorty
Have a nice night

>>213556487
I'm a certified physician; you have Tinea Pedis.

Get some antifungal cream and you're good.

>>213556537
good night

>>213556538
Thanks. I tried using an antifungal powder but it made it significantly worse. Before this it was just a small but very itchy spot. Guess I'll try to find a cream. Thanks anon.

i think it is finally time for me to quit 4chan for good

goodbye forever!

no one wants to see your disgusting brown foot man

>>213556566
My foot managed to save mexianon from 4chan.

No one wants to see your nigger foot you disgusting nigger. put that shit away

that foot is meant to wander the streets on india

JD Vance planning to oust trump

Any good ebooks to teach yourself monkey style gong fu?

Watching the twilight zone.

Whoever posts below this is stupid

Cannot sleep

gooning to this thread

Yes I'm white. yes I'm a cuck. Get over it.

>>213556389
my coworkers son just had brain surgery today, some sort of tumor was giving him seizures and they're hoping it's not cancerous.

anyways I remember you but death 2 tripfags

The way anime characters eat is always so satisfying

Serious question, how does it feel and how does one know if they have a brain tumor? Asking for a friend...

>>213556726
With respect to the brain surgery, it's actually a blessing in the skies to have a tumour because they know where to cut. Lots of people have epilepsy with no known cause and no tumours. Makes it much harder to address surgically.
I am Jack's Right Hyppocampus and Right Amgygdala. I help Jack convert short term visual memory into long term memory and I help Jack regulate his emotions.

>>213556772
Lol you're so cute anon
Well having seizures is a sign apparently. You're probably safe don't be scared

>>213556572
you're wrong. My foot is a curiosity which would interest intellectuals of the medical profession and also the type of people who seek out gore, disfigurments, deformities, and other shocking content.
>>213556598
See above
>>213556611
Do you think my disgusting foot would give me high social status in the slums of India? Maybe they'd revere me and initiate me into their highest caste of filthmancers and I'd get cute nurgle worshiping Indian gf harem

>>213556783
>I am Jack's Right Hyppocampus and Right Amgygdala. I help Jack convert short term visual memory into long term memory and I help Jack regulate his emotions.
Spooky

>>213556787
I only ask but recently since last month, I have had severe migraines and random pain on certain regions of my head. It gets so bad sometimes, that my vision gets blurry and I start seeing flashing lights. There were times I felt like I was about to have a seizure. I really dont know..I mean, my friend really doesnt know...

>>213556840
Idk either I'm not a doctor. Do you have health insurance?

I am Jack's colon. I get cancer. I kill jack.

>>213556840
why don't you at least put your symptoms into chatgpt or whatever

>>213556867
Just throwing it out there in case someone has gone through something like this.
>>213556879
I dont want to get any crazy ideas.

how about instead a Hippo Campus, and hippi go there to master the ways of the hippo

>>213556828
For me my tumour interfered with both. Fortunately how the brain works is through a process called "neuro plasicity"
So my declarative brain functions improved and make up for the detriment

>>213556915
Fascinating

>>213556840

>>213556984
>aura

>>213556995
to be fair, it could also NOT be that and he could just be dying

>>213556982
Yeah it truly is, best example I give when explaining it is this:

Your memory might be queued because you recognize the brick building at the end of the street (visual)

My memory would be queued because I made a point in knowing that at the south end of Carlaw ave and Montgomery St there is a brick building (declarative)

I just asked chatgpt and it scared the ever living shit out of me. what the fuck.

>>213557040
maybe you should go see a DOGTOR

>>213557050
I DID AND THAT NIGGER JUST TOSSED FUCKING USELESS MEDS AT ME THAT DIDNT FIX ANTHING AT ALL!!!! THE NIGGER WASNT EVEN ALL THAT INTERESTED EITHER!!!

>>213557062
try a dogtor who's not a negroid

>>213557077
Hes jewish i think

>>213557088
ugh yeah get a different one

cozy late night cum posting

>>213557147
erm actually...

I'm watching videos on cops doing false arrests on youtube and the meme is true
americans really do be getting arrested for walking

Who /sled/ here? I realised I have complained far more about the heat this summer than I ever do about the cold in winter. If only winter had longer days .

found bottled beer from the 1972, you think it's still good?

Going to bed. Later.

remember when nick the knife absolutely mopped the floor with those two nobodys on the top row??

good times

>>213557283
a real meeting of the mind

>>213557230
it probably tastes better

>>213557283
Nick Fuentes is a gay little twink

>>213557328
so is your dad

>>213557351
fact check: TRUE

>>213557361
>>213557351
Your both gay for nick fuentes

>>213557191
my older brothers had an ancient skidoo. we'd take it out to the fields and pray that it would a) start and b) not stall immediately. sometimes it bestirred itself to give us an hour or two of Canadian prairie tomfoolery in farmer's fields. for some reason i remember these trips were always in sub -20. i mean Saskatchewan isn't ALWAYS -20 in winter but somehow the skidoo excursions always were.

>>213557308
there's a black film on the inside of the bottle near the top which is the only thing that's really scaring me to try it

>>213557388
beer gets bad after like 6 months so yeah

>>213557388
thats the flavor bits floating to the top

>>213557382
no, I am not desTINY

>>213557398
>>213557404
it tastes like vinegary wine, i put it in my mouth and spit it out

>>213557416
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/45iHUkH4CKU
your childhood

>>213557439
how do you just "find" beer from 1972? you in your granpappy's garage?

>>213557466
didn't watch lmao

>>213557486
your sharting in fear right now shartmerican

what is the swedish faggot defense force doing here?

>>213557467
scuba diving

>>213557504
Clean up on aile 6 we got another shart in the mart

>>213557169
My cat likes to sleep next to me while I'm forced to be awake all night working. The only time he sleeps right here is during my shifts. Pretty sure he does it to taunt me. Just look at this comfy mofo

>>213557537
Do american cats shart?

>>213557283
Idk who any of this dorks are but the Nick guy has the best camera setup. God I hate webcam calls, they look so fucking silly and stupid. Gotta give nick props here, he managed to be the only one there that doesn't look like a fucking mongoloid. Pic rel: how people look on stupid shitty webcam calls

the 5-second search i did told me that beer doesn't go bad, it just loses it's flavor, so if i get botulism from taking a little sip and spitting it out i'm gonna be pissed

>>213557563
If you feed them poorly, yes

>>213557564
Nick is a mutt spic
shartmericans think he is white

>>213557567
Nigga you found it at the bottom of the ocean that beer is probably cursed. Drink it if you dare.

Are ya'll coming to the box social?

>>213557619