Thread 213911203

bort eiditon

poo smells lmao

idgi

https://men.wikifeet.com/Bradley_Walsh#pid=5898156
bradders bum subedish

balls deep in clanker clunge

Lock me in a mental health ward and throw away the key.

Give me a phone to post from and I'll spend fucking eternity there

katy getting rapid steel clanks nun biotimmy cud do xx

mad how putin can go 1v1 against trump while europe needs to arange a gangbang

>>213913298
why doesn't wikifeet require age verification for you lot

Oft wonder what went so incomprehensibly wrong in my life to end up like this

>tiny and big fat bastard the only sizes sold out
Lmaooo for fucks sake rorke

lads do you need a driving license to do go karting??

>>213913375
LOL says it all

>>213913355
low blood sugar. eat a piece of fruit and some nuts

>>213913385
no

>>213913375
Rorke and his miniature friend Mini Rorke

camm on reform fc, sink some fuckin boats

ny one with funny pictures?

>>213913385
only need a license for public roads

>Marquess Viscount Baronet Knight Duke Earl Baron

without googling put them in order of rank
prove you're actually british

>>213913438
top is a duke
then an earl
then a baron
then a baronet
then a maquess
then a viscount

>>213913438
duke
earl
viscount
baron
marquess
knight

having a wank

>>213913462
>>213913475
EMBARRASSINGLY wrong
EMBARRASSING

>>213913441
how long before the allegations start to come out?

>>213913375
What would happen if you wore this shirt to a Premier League football match?

>>213913438
Duke
Marquess
Viscount?
Earl?
Baron

>>213911203 (OP)
love me some /bort/
simple as

>>213913494
duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron
knights arent even on the list of peers you faggot

"Bort" means "away" in Swedish.

brit brit brit brit brit like britpop
brit brit brit brit brit like britpop
brit brit brit brit brit like britpoop

>>213913536
wish you'd go bort

>>213913543
no (8)s so idk if this is song or just a poem

>>213913548
That's rude

>>213913375
gigarorke and lil rorke showing up to riots like master blaster

>>213913509
almost
D-uke
M-arquess
E-nvious
V-iscount
B-arons

Dukes Make Envious Viscounts Bow
Then Baronets and Knights who AREN'T members of the peerage but are hereditary titles.
Every single life peer (non-hereditary peer) in the House of Lords is a Baron by default. As you can imagine Barons are a dime a dozen but there's literally only 30 Dukes in the entire country, 6 of whom are part of the Royal Family including Harry, Willy, Andy and Eddie.

>>213913529
never said they were
they still fit in the ranking though

peter tatchel daisy destroy

>>213913438
duke
earl
viscount
marquess
baron
baronet = knight (but baronetcies are hereditary)

my son is also named bort

duke duke duke
duke of earl

Me after attempting the spicy McNugget sidequest https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1755230129180200.mp4

>>213913570
The envious are always at the bottom of the pile

just watched a chink poo the shit out her arse

Wish there was a way of reliably giving yourself total episodic amnesia, whilst retaining language/motor skills. Kind of envy those people that bash their heads in and wake up unable to remember anything. Like how Frankie Muniz cant remember any of his time filming Malcolm in the Middle

>>213913617
tis false
nobody is more envious than the middle man

See: Tom Wambsgans

>>213913579
bro hes already posted the correct order

Sucking on a shit

>>213913614
John McAfee

brit-chaaaan
haaaaaai
nani ga suki?
poo yori mo anata

>>213913650
The middle men are their own pile...
more of a cesspit - not enough constitution to form a pile

>

>>213913650
i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat

>>213913650
I'm just a Gregory Hirsch looking for my Tom

>>213913614
hahahahahaha that is loads of farts

I am quite fond of pornography

>>213913689
me when I... err actually let me check If I'm allowed to say... yep now allowed sorry nvm x

>>213913689
pooja pulled up

Might be my last post here. See you guys

>>213913692
Are you asking me if you can blackmail me?

Yeah that's Rorke owned

>>213913751
why
are you killing yuorself

>>213913692
>>213913701
>>213913758
based Succession enjoyers

>>213913774
no i realised im a boring cunt so im just going to leave

>>213913771
cringing my arse off

>>213913614
sniff that

>>213913809
oh ok :D

going on holiday in a few days and been on the no fap for two weeks. going to be kicking about with a permanent semi

>>213913771
tucker carlson is a democrat now? huh????

>>213913809
Iktf, I only say controversial and outlandish things to generate engagement. I am not a real person

>>213913871
enjoy disneyland lad

>>213913887
bruh

got drunk and left my vibrator out last weekend and stepmum saw it

>>213913508
nowt

Rorke spotted on his way to the shops

rorke'll be logging on soon x

JERK BURRITO
PENG-A-LENG

>>213913971
looks like eltons bog pipes

>>213913929
He spontaneously abdicated from his ambulatory wheelie pedalmatron in a most unexpected manner!

>>213913991
Undoubtablly, this is causing me to produce fecal matter in the shape of a pinniped, and furthermore wail like a banshee!

>>213913929
i hate pretentious freaks who ride stupid bikes like that. they think they're so clever and whimsical

>>213913971
I would face fuck that until it screamed for mercy

>>213914053
hiya

Dudes discovering that mods have to remove antisemetic posts like antisemitism hasn't been an issue since forever

>>213914068
Are you the burrito? I think you're beautiful.
Verily lust at first sight.

>>213914044
It is a bit whimsical. You have to admit.

>>213914044
How often do you see this?

Lo, a shrieking stool!

>>213914084
i can be

>>213914053
same but yer maw

can imagine john ofcom at his desk with his finger hovering over the button as he watches /brit/ continue unaware and he has an evil smile on his face and also he's played by jon hamm in a non-speaking role

>>213914099
Usually whimsy at the expense of intellect.
Every time I see a cunt on a film set riding an old, rust-veneered bicycle, or an electric unicycle, I pray to the gods - old and new - that they'll crash and skin their knees.

>>213913908
what do you have a vibrator for

the poo seal has been broken
see what i did there

dio cano
porco dio
belo belo
dio maialo
dio maialo
dio cana
belo belo

>>213914124
I'd wrap you up tight, and keep you toasty warm with my grille.
>>213914152
It's open in preparation for the burrito, squirt some of your special sauce in there.

>>213914172
Well luckily for you this one did crash

>>213914176
same reason anyone has a sex toy?

>>213914215
weird way to talk about your maw

fat anime tits

>>213914183
You became a Canadian. Tell the others. This is the way bwaud.

doing a renew on the ol' ip

>>213914235
Do you mean my ma or my maw. One's recently deceased. The other is a ravenous slavering pit of taut muscle and bone.
Guess which is which!

>>213914276
The more flash floods, the more we get. enjoy.

>>213914276
don't like this bradley he looks odd

Cobbity Gem

>>213914231
you don't have a fannois though

>>213914240
unless these ladies have the boob closest to the camera a foot higher in the hair than the other I reckon the artist of this piece needs to work on perspective some more

Just seen videos of myself at a side angle and now desperately want to kill myself

>>213914099
that's why i hate it. he probably wears a cravat and strokes his beard while drinking his tobacco and bacon flavoured craft beer
>>213914111
i've seen a few times over the years and also these these which are just as obnoxious at least for downtown

got a fucking ear infection hate my life

>>213914276
we at /brit/ offer our condolences to nepal

>>213914316
not relevant is it

>>213914337
that happened to me 10 years ago and i haven't been the same since

>>213914365
Yeah, they're sound

>>213914368
i mean it is
what are you doing with a vibrator if you don't have a fannois to pleasure with it
very reasonable question in my opinion

Ever seen a video of yourself making a complete and utter tit of yourself when you're blackout drunk? I have, and it's horrifying

life is pointless agony lmao

Had 6 hotdogs today
Fat bastard, me

>>213914343
>he probably wears a cravat and strokes his beard while drinking his tobacco and bacon flavoured craft beer
sounds like a whimsical fella

>>213914400
ummy

Le fannois
Die Fannzard
El fanalá
Фaниcкa

>>213914276
hundreds dead in pakistan and india per capita is like me losing a finger

>>213914428
no but i think i probably need to see it cos i do this constantly
get told i sexually harrass women too but never seen it or been aware of it

Coughing up so much mucus

saw a fit lass and accidentally said "corr" out loud and mum looked disgusted

>>213914343
There's a cunt that rides a bike like this near me. Always hated him instinctually.

labubu grande

>>213914496
You must be handsome, otherwise you'd have been in bother

>>213913438
Duke, Earl, Baron, Baronet
??? Viscount ??? Knight
I only have knowledge from CK2

>>213914496
you seemed really cool to begin with but then you got too drunk and kept overstepping boundaries and so i dont want to see you again
fucking hell lads what is wrong with me

>>213914518
i have been in bother
kicked out of clubs
removed from friend groups
not been beat up or arrested though because i think it's relatively harmless like i dont go for breasts or arse or whatever i'm told i "just" put my arms around them
>>213914550
yup i made that post

what’s /r9k/ like nowadays

diego on a mental one

Mucing up so much coughcus

>>213914428
I get severe anxiety after leaving a stupid heated google review while drunk. Think I'd kms if I saw myself doing something like you did.

>>213914535
alri

>>213914579
tranny board

>>213914579
sir kier starmer posts there

>>213914636
no surprise there i guess

So, who wants a quick ban?

>>213914594
I've never done anything bad. Just floating about on booze and coke being a bit of a pest, not realising when people can't be arsed with me, getting too close to people etc

Sucking a cue ball

>>213914668
yeah i do
give me some ponies to post

Sat on my big gay arse all day today, haven't moved out of my computer chair, grim life

>>213914579
went there looking for an incel refuge (too many shaggers on int now) but it was all deranged trannies

(8) You're my baby
Come to bed, I'll be your girl
Living for you
Oh, but you’re living for her
I go crazy, see red when she's touching you now
You're my baby
Come to bed, I'll be your girl (8)

>>213914698
me almost everyday

>>213914729
Edward Scissor Trans

>>213914729
LIV
ERP
OOL

>>213914729
size of "her" hands lmao

am a fookin tranny lad

what's /toy/ like these days

>>213914729
i wear a tote bag very much like hers

>>213914753
roar

George Soros got be hooked on oriental fannzhou

>>213914810
ooo 'ello

>>213914753
pscream

George Harrison but he likes China instead of India

>>213914816
bruh

hot dogs here are completely fucking grim desu
not sure why anybody in the UK would choose hot dogs over burgers.

>>213914816
umm

me own son.............a fuckin tranny

right that's the pink and yellow one who is literally me i am literally her

sister didn't make the coleslaw cos we only have Greek-style yoghurt and not "Greek yoghurt" Jesus fucking wept

>>213914840
grimble

Jeffrey get your dick out

>finish toil at 17:00 pm
>begin toil at 6:00 am the following day

This should be illegal

>>213914840
yeah, cant even imagine living with so many surveillance machines on me *takes phone out of my pocket*

>>213914946
You need to quit mate. They're only going to make your life more and more hellish

>>213914923
https://voca.ro/1hriIXqlRgpV

>>213914946
>>213914729

family has that BBC race around the world slop on what a dead programme deary me
must have an eye watering budget

>>213914840
can’t imagine what it’s like to be a building but i doubt it cares

>>213914958
this but talking about /brit/ not his job

Ahhh yes I'm really going to trust that mental spacker in the wheelchair about relativity and black holes

World gone mental

can't wait to sleep tonight wonder what dreams I'll have tee hee x

>>213914923
笑ってるブラドリー・ウォールシュ

>>213915018
Hope I am there :)

>>213915019
He can't eat that many fucking Lindt seals can he

>>213915003
couldn't even talk for most of his life. who'd want to listen to microsoft sam all day lmaoooooooo

if i could kill people with my mind half of you would be dead

pooman killed a kid, or so I heard

any discords for lonely depressed sadact losers. nothing too racist or tranny

Notice how no one ever does anything for the lulz anymore

A joyless world

Doing the Harlem Shake

My dad died when I was 11

>>213915096
truth nuke

love wanking
love cumming
i imagine i would love sex too

ゴルフボールを吸ってる

threads dead

>>213914958
After this gauntlet (Sunday - Wednesday) my hours are actually dropping quite a bit

sometimes you poo, sometimes you are pooed
just how it works

>>213915129
^^

Eating beef Jerky

>>213915189
SCREMAING

>>213915165
You need a nice holiday, lass. Put your feet up, relax.

>>213915147
underage detected

The poo man group

how big is your penis?
mine is a bit longer than my galaxy s23 but on the thinner side

>are you ok? You're so quiet!
AAAAAHHHHH

Image AI is a blessing. But AI text is unironically a curse.

>>213914946
working on a Sunday?
Not very British of you mate

cousinberg

>>213915236
>—

>>213915231
3.5 inches on a good day

>>213915232
Yeah, just a bit tired haha

>>213915231
small enough that when I told a woman she thought I was joking x

don't all post at once

>>213915215
the poo man poop

>>213915326
FONT

ive got mental health

>>213915231
feel like I've got a hidden inch, just need to lose a couple kg

>>213915231
10cm and thin

mad how i'm the social freak for not knowing about the bosh guy who eats chinese, yet completely fine to not know what caesar actually did

>>213915382
you'd need to lose a couple of tons to reveal a whole inch lad

Till i got you
What would you do if i sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on meee

>>213915370
dunno whatever the default firefox one is

>>213915401
>mad how i'm the social freak for not knowing about the bosh guy who eats chinese, yet completely fine to not know what caesar actually did

it's just another day in a crazy world

>>213915390
KAHTEEM

>>213915248
pull her pants down and snap a pic
let's see her shit hole

Something unmistakeably bent about anal fetishists.

Doctor says I've got mental health, passed all my tests and my blood pressure is perfect.

>>213915401
>mad how i'm the social freak
yes you are
self awareness is good at least

i dont wanna go back to work tomorrow :c

just fuckimg sick of weed to be honest, not buying anymore, ruined my life

do you think if i joined a cult, like scientology or those weird catholic wones, or even became mormon, itd be easier for me to get a gf?

what if I find a gf one day but she has a sordid past
what then

>>213914579
A thousand times worse than you can even imagine.

In no way am I exaggerating when I say that I hate it more than /mlp/. It is the worst board on this website and it's one of the saddest things that's ever happened to an internet forum.

The equivalent of a dusty old bar filled with colorful characters and crippling alcoholics digitally commiserating became a bunch of retarded normies using it like a version of Instagram to exchange pictures of eachother's faces and give eachother cringeworthy pet names. It's like an attempt to emulate your older brother, but their version of this is 2000s internet culture and it's a reference to the most surface level Japanese media / phrase / noun in existence. Like "Pokimane".

Anyone that was ever actually an incel on that place should take solace in the idea that getting laid with sex isn't that deep. You take a bunch of insufferable 23 year olds acting like they're 17 playing dressup with a personality and give them a place to hang out and they start having loud, stupid, one-dimensional conversations about "sex".

The board started off with the novel idea that every post has to be unique. You can put that experiment to rest, because it turns out that the english language is complicated and you can just say the same thing 20 different ways and / or add the word "original". A thread on /r9k/ looks like "How do I clap prime 19 year old chicana cheeks? original". It gets 5 replies from people that click on an obnoxiously sexual gif of oil porn and then it dies.

I don't even like the word retarded as an adjective, but retarded is the only word that I have for these people.
Why are they posting these braindead threads that can only be described as "sex related" on a place that's literally designed for anything else. How does anything in the world work and why do you think that Polynesian girls are built for BWC.
They're retarded. That's the answer. /r9k/ is the place where you post a picture of your face and jerk off.

>>213914428
Yeah
>on Spanish holiday with uni friends
>free sangria refills at the restaurant
>drink the most ive ever drank in my entire life
>we go back to shared room
>try to sleep
>within 5 mins need to puke
>empty my stomach in the toilet, but the gagging wont stop
>puking air, gasping and groaning between each convulsion
>my friend can see me from his bed and records it
>my balls are hanging out of my underwear and they flop around with each violent shake
Never lived it down

OK fuckers I got a few shinies today and a hundo, and got shadow kyogre!!!
181K stardust before PvP so if I cannot do giovani now (with kyogre) then I will not get that done this year

>>213915572
wouldn't mind seeing that uncensored

>>213915572
you tease

>>213915572
genuinely looks like me

>>213915572
Yeah would be awful. I'd definitely want to know where I could see such images. So that I could avoid them of course.

>>213915585
kek that's fuck all
still funny though

>>213915574
yeah they are pretty cringe and got mindufcked by 4chan of all sites

>>213915604
hey

>>213915586
grow up

no mice

>>213915572
mmhmm

>>213915572
Quite mad seeing pics of my ex with her new bf knowing all the things I did to her ngl. That'll help me cope if my future wife has had the same done to her. We're all taking turns ig

>>213915586
What's your favourite Pokémon gen? For me it's gen 3 but 2 and 4 are also great.

>>213915604
*balances a treat on your snout*

the 10cm post worked like a beacon it appears

>>213915585
at least you arent a pedophile

might get an e reader tablet thing (not a kindle)
love reading but dont want to add even more piles of crap to this hoarder shitehole

What the fuck
I know it's a Sunday but this Sainsbury's Local is usually well stocked but there's literally nothing on the shelves
Starmer must step in

>>213915547
Same, decade smoker. Year clean now. Don't falter friend, lifes boring without it, but youre better than chemical dependence

>>213915664
weird android using freak

need my 10cm meat tugged by a cronem x

>>213915660
>10cm
mad how i have twice that

* * * friendly reminder that all belgian posts that contain homosexual comments, comments about having a small 10cm penis, and other self-loathing comments, are all from an impersonator called mousenonce that is trying to damage my reputation, most of them will be marked with a reply calling them impersonator, he also does mark my posts and his own posts with impersonator to try to sow confusion sometimes, they will be marked as well
https://desuarchive.org/int/search/text/impersonator/country/be/
this is mousenonce admitting to impersonating me by using the belgian flag
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/213814305/#213815026
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/213815908/#213816651
this is mousenonce slipping up and forgetting to turn his belgian vpn off
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/213836378/#213837645

>>213915660
he thinks youre friends

>>213915682
that things needs a pink ribbon wrapped around it ~

>>213915707
LOL

The missus on holiday in Poland

Ah, all the schizos turn up at the same time, splendid. A night of kino indeed

>>213915707
did that to my 5.5inch BWC once and came handsfree

>>213915620
I guess so, I was never a violent or horny drunk. Just a puker. We'd take ecstasy and be smoking a fag, and I'd suddenly turn my head and projectile vomit, then go straight back to smoking.
>>213915662
Yeah haha I guess so, did shag a 16 year old when I was 20 ig

>>213915682
real one
>>213915698
impostor

>>213915698
lad my willy is literally twice as big as yours what do you think of that

reminder to report BE flags posts because he is a massive faggot

>>213915732
bruh

mmhmm bet the skinny yardie goons are activating

>>213915605
it's a serious concern of mine
>>213915635
this is my nightmare

>>213915698
>this is mousenonce slipping up and forgetting to turn his belgian vpn off
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/213836378/#213837645

>>213915737
ummingtons

me first

>>213915663
Like a Kobo or something with an e ink screen

>>213915248
Need a BBC prone bone

is this true? 10cm? AND thin?

>>213915781
i need one of those in my luh ass x

>>213915776
can i download and read "pirated" books on it

>>213915786
mine's a little over 10cm but thin as a pencil

mental how nice some of their arses are already

Im walking on both sides

>>213915728
>>213915728
>The missus on holiday in Poland
Forgot file

>>213915798
>>213915798
>>213915798

*cough* *hack*

Me? Sucking cronem baton mhmm

>>213915812
um

>>213915803
Ye

>>213915760
>this is my nightmare
Yeah, I get it. I used to get fucked up on drugs with her, then fuck her brains out - she'd go straight up retarded, eyes rolled back and be totally possessed. Pissed on her face a few times but that was more for lulz than sexiness. Also took her virginity. Wonder if hes as good in bed as me
Im sure your future wife wontve done anything similar

Bouncing on bbc baton x

got my knob out
got proxy paige having her arse fisted on

um

batty dad fi dead

>>213915857
hey crodie x

today I got a hundo mankey and evolved a the hundo I caught into corviknight. that is literally my Pokemon

batty bois
all of yous

>>213915812
he's done you

there was 2 bladey posters in the new :((((((((((((

>>213915857
bye crodie x

today I got a shiny wooper (I think today), wooper wooper double wooper
and I got two shiny vullaby. got so angry at that I transferred the second one

well well well

>>213916066
kys heathernonce

>>213916062
don't worry I'm still trash star crazy

right so thats the other thread gone then

good r9k posts these

>>213916100
>>213916100
>>213916100

>>213913277
>>213913277
>>213913277

>>213916127
>>213916127
>>213916127

>>213911203 (OP)
>been changing life and turning things around
>gymmaxing, financemaxxing, and personalitymaxxing
>return from vacation from Spain overflowing with surging testosterone and lust
>Try to book a private "Dancer" through backpages
>$100 bitcoin later realize i'm being scammed and cut losses ( i.e it was probably a guy scamming me)

feel embarrassed as fuck bro... How does one do something this dumb. I even sent my selfie.

All that progress feels lost. Any advice on how i can mentally bounce from this?

the gf