Thread 214254224

Live by the burger.

Die by the burger.

>>214254224 (OP)
How sick do you have to be to find this to be funny? There is no indication that he was a bad guy so why is it funny that he died? Poor guy was someone's son and maybe brother or father. You need to get your head checked OP.

>>214255597
>>>/reddit/

If this happens to someone else just dunk the burgers into some warm water for a few seconds then twist them apart.

>>214255606
>Human decency is reddit
Y'all been online too long

>>214254224 (OP)
How did this happen? Did he try to use a knife in some retarded way?

>>214255597
Kill yourself nigger.

>>214255715
Y'all should fuck off back to whatever 9gag ifunny whatever shithole you crawled out of.

>>214255757
>guy wanted to separate burgers
>put 2 burgers on his chest
>use a knife to stab burgers apart
>knife slip and he stabbed himself
>starts bleeding all over the place
>goes to his bed and lie down and die
>police goes to his house and found the blood trail from burger to kitchen to floor to bed

Would YOU call the ambulance if something this embarrassing happened to you?

Could you even AFFORD the ambulance ride?

>>214255833
>>put 2 burgers on his chest
>>use a knife to stab burgers apart
Ah, yes, that's exactly my first thought.

>>214255864
Americans are a different breed.

>>214255833
holy low iq

>>214255899
That's a darwin award right there

>>214255597
His eyes look weak and low IQ

>>214255952
how do I eyemaxx? Is there mewing for eyes?

>>214255903
>>214255925
How would you have done it?

>>214255967
You need to become an aristocrat of the soul to project strength
In the meanwhile the best option is to always have a look of contempt on your face

lol

>>214255976
Supposed to use a heavy bladed chef knife and chop it into the pit so it sticks and then twist it free

>>214257523
so you have to hold it, what if you miss

>>214255976
I actually always bite the seed and pull it out with my teeth

>>214257611
No dumbass you get the knife wedged in then lift it and the burgers like when you go to make firewood

>>214254224 (OP)
>>214255833
Why didn't he just throw it in the microwave for a minute?

>>214254224 (OP)
ijbol

>>214255597
>>214255715
Keep in mind these are the same people laughing at the tranny shooter killing literal preschool children.

>>214257668
that has too much complexity for a man with hunger

>>214255833
Why didn't he just shoot the burgers?

>>214254224 (OP)
wtf

>>214254224 (OP)
You joke but I almost cut the tip of my finger off trying to separate two frozen burger patties with a large knife. Only by providence did I live to tell the tale.

>>214258330
Why not run a spoon under hot water (or boil it, if you want it extra hot) and then run it through the patties?

I run a knife through hot water before slicing up frozen butter.

>>214258330
you people need to watch more gore/violence videos to understand how weak the human body is

you just put them in a bag and whack them against the counter and they separate. If you must use a knife, put them on a cutting board and work on them. This guy was tired of living and wanted a novel way to go.

>>214258364
you freeze butter?

>>214258650
I don't eat butter fast enough to leave it out in the open, yeah. I buy a huge block of butter because it's cheaper the bigger it is, and I hot-knife it every time I need to use some.

Very rarely do I leave a huge block of butter out at room temperature to use, unless I have 10% of it left.

>>214255952
Your mum looked weak and low IQ last night

>>214258364
I just wanted to apply force to separate it. It healed fine.
>>214258376
Maybe the Austrian body is but the American body wins world wars and walks the moon.

>>214254224 (OP)
This teach me

>>214255597
You need to go back.

>>214255976
I would heat the blade on the stove until it was cherry red and pry it open, using my chest to hold the burgers, it would melt the patty and easily separate them, in the very unlikely event where the knife slips it would instantly cauterize any wounds

>>214255833
>>214255899
Crippling low IQ

>>214255976
Unironicaly I would have beaten the burgers against something solid until it separates

>>214255976
Put burgers on table
Wedge knoife between, said knife pointing AWAY from me
Wiggle the knife left and right till burgers separate

im an expert on the topic as i often need to separate frozen tortilla stacks

>>214255833
this is kinda sad
men being afraid to ask for help kills people

>>214255597
You clearly have not been here long and should leave for your own good

>>214257523
Dulls the knife like crazy though, if you don't mind digging it out with a spoon do that imo

>>214255833
when I fell face on the ground after stupidly trying to jump over my hammock and I realized there was blood coming out of my ear, honestly I just want to sleep it over and pretend it didn't happen, but ultimately decided to pick up the car and drive to the closest hospital without telling my family.
it was just a broken ear canal bone btw, and I knew it from the start since I felt my jaw going all the way back and hitting my ear from the inside, but I didn't want to ask for help before making that clear at the hospital because otherwise my family would freak out thinking I was bleeding my brain out.

>>214260230
>though

>>214255833
I use a butter knife to separate frozen burgs. I'm not retarded.

>>214255899
This is the real reason the boomers warned you about avocado toast.

>>214255597
Dieing via 2 frozen burgers is categorically a funny concept.

>>214255976
20 secs in the microwave, or just run a throw them while having the burgers in a table bit on my fucking chest for whatever reason

What sort of man isn't able to eat 2 burgers? Just cook both of them.

Or cook them, and then remove the top patty once it's defrosted enough. The top once wouldn't even be 1% cooked from the heat the bottom patty is receiving.

but how did it happen

>>214255597
This

>>214258330
we really do

>>214261294
this is what happens when you cook a burger patty from frozen

>>214254224 (OP)
americans discovering burger fission as a source of unlimited energy

>>214255674
>>214254224 (OP)
even a crow would figure this shit out
just drop the entire bag of burgers onto the fuckin concrete

>>214261325
Smartest nigger.

>>214254224 (OP)
I guess you could say he split the wrong burger

>>214254224 (OP)
strongest burger

>cut it using [thing here], microwave it first, warm water, defrost
fucking dumbasses, best way to do this is once you bought it, seperate it already

>>214255833
>>put 2 burgers on his chest
Idgi

>>214254224 (OP)
>Freedom ain't free
Darn...

>>214263919
probably didn't have a clean surface to grill on

burger

>>214254224 (OP)
erm, force a knife inbetween and twist

this is what happens to chuds who insist on cooking because they don't wanna be a decent human being and tip 30%
just use Uber Eats like a normal person, chud

>>214265590
true

>>214255597
Man kan se på det här brevet att du lider av könsdysfori... Du borde begå självmord

>>214254224 (OP)
I worked at the local version of burger king before. It's really not that hard. I used to just jam a pair of tongs between them and twist

or however the burger is flipped

never point a sharp object to yourself especially when applying force, learnt that the hard way as well. knife didn't go through my hand but it's a mistake you make only once. at least i have the excuse i was still a dumb kid

>>214265590
this, so much this

>>214270331
>learnt that the hard way as well. knife didn't go through my hand

What were you trying to do?

>>214270412
one of those flat lego bricks, one thirth the height of a regular one (you often have poor grip on), was stuck to the bottom of a lego boat, go i tried to remove it with a knife while holding the boat in my left hand. knife slipped, blood flowed, but not that much luckily. nothingburger but i remember it to this day, and it was a good life experience