Thread 214272227

The fit edition

poo smells lmfao

Working at a job

*enters thread*

lil brown lad just walked past, basketball in one hand spinning a knife in the other, love me mutliculti

>>214272227 (OP)
Wonder what highly skilled job he has in the booming economic hub of Dundee

>joggers
have some self respect man just because you're at home doesn't mean you need to look like a slob

Every day you wake up and check the news and israel’s committed another atrocity

meme

>>214273992
squealing

>>214272227 (OP)
me oh my now what do we have here

>>214274005
Yeah, nice little pickmeup lol

>>214273992
utterly CRYIGN to this image

>>214273943
>Local community activity where people donate food for the needy
No no no the government should do all that!

>>214273997
vaginas are genuinely so fucking disgusting, like wrinked flaps of meat hanging out of some dark hole

protect the dolls

N

>>214273997
debased, vulgar and disgusting
play it again

>>214274000
can imagine you now. sat there at home in your corduroys. legs crossed, no doubt

>>214274039
poofter alert

>>214273997
giwtwm

>>214274000
when i'm lounging at home in the warm weather it's

linen trousers
white tank top
espadrilles

simple as

>surplus of food
Chance would be a fine thing. Unfortunately British "Farmers" don't actually do any farming. We've got more chance of pigs flying than a food surplus in this country. And that's saying something, since British farms don't have any pigs, since they don't do any farming.

>>214274039
prefer cocks do you

>Labour's next round of benefit cuts risks hitting 600,000 disabled people
550,000 of which will be post covid sign ons for chronic fatigue, ADHD and other dubious ailments

>>214273997
not funny, the cameraman died

Just spend thirty minutes on the toilet and produced two small nuggets of shit

>>214274068
T. Lives in the city

rorke going to bed in courdory trousers because he doesn't want to look like a slob in front of his mosley poster

need a new york arthoe gf with a bobcut and shitty tattoos

>>214274068
This doesn't mean we don't produce food

Go anywhere nice on holiday this summer?

>>214274095
That sounds healthy

>>214274103
overrated slut

>>214274103
hamboigha

>>214274103
I eat pusy on the first date

>>214274103
What language is this? Georgian?

>>214274103
The knives and forks, followed by the chairs

>>214274113
No
Spent months in my incel room just on the internet doing boring shite

crodie you dere

>>214274143
cursive

do you think you'd ever turn down a girl for being too promiscuous or having too "colourful" a past - or do you think you're at the point where beggars can't be choosers and you'll take anything?

>>214274175
elusive poo pup

Why is everyone saying 'one-shotted' all of a sudden

>>214274103
>Oh, I don't know. Uhm, let me check the menu!
>The scallops looks good, but not as good as you.
>Sorry if I seem distracted, I keep getting lost in your beautiful eyes.
>Please come back to my place. It's not too far from here.
My routine.

>>214274039
nah mate it lush

>>214274175
the pooniverse grows

>>214274179
Dunno mate I'm married so I don't have to worry about such things.

So is glue really from dead horses or was that just taking the piss

>>214274175
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF /BRIT/STORY

POODOG

VERSUS

POOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

BEGIN

>>214274203
*sticks my finger inside the pussy 'ole*

>>214274192
because of this xeet

>>214274179
dunno mate i'm a virgin freak so i dont have to worry about such things

>>214274198
>Come back to your place on a first date? I'm not that kind of girl, anon!

>>214274223
need to get chatgpt on this stat

>>214274108
It means British "farmers" lag behind the rest of the world in productivity. Why aren't British "farmers" using technology to become more productive? Because they don't actually do any farming.

i live in a very white very working class (povvo) area and there has been no english flags put up. Actually quite surprising

>>214274211
Yeah... to a bloke!

>>214273932
>Bradworthy

Why aren't you lads working right now?

>>214273664
not an issue for me
im not a fat fuck though lol

>>214274247
Seen em do it

>>214274179
yeah i'd only accept a virgin

>>214274267
What are you, my manager

me? alt-right?
*shakes head sardonically*
more like alt-reich

>>214274267
I'm at toil, but I'm not toiling

>>214274247
>Why aren't British "farmers" using technology to become more productive?
Pretty sure they are, it's why we get British grown tomatoes and strawberries in the supermarkets almost all year round.

>>214274247
No it's because they import Romanians and other thirdies to do seasonal work

>>214274247
>It means British "farmers" lag behind the rest of the world in productivity.
Okay, but they are farming
>Why aren't British "farmers" using technology to become more productive?
Lack of capital investment and poor credit lines from banks
>Because they don't actually do any farming.
Incorrect, they do farm

>>214274288
>88
HH

You want a lass who's had some sex but not too much sex

pondering a bradworthy post

>>214274068
this is very misleading because if inplies we were around the same level in 1990

e.g. German wheat productivity grew hugely over the past 30 years and is currently around 8.32 metric tons per hectare

meanwhile British wheat productivity has been mostly stagnating... at 8.6 metric tons per hectare

>>214274269
possibly the greatest gif I've ever seen

>>214272223
bit of a party in here

>>214274179
I'm happy being single and would only date a girl who improves my life in some way, which is unlikely to be a used up slag

>>214274068
Wow mental how all of those countries were producing the same amount of food in 1990...

>>214274314
why some ? Ideally it'd be none, but that ideal situation is just so fucking impossible that you'd be delusional to have it as your standard.

chinook over Westminster

>>214274332
dtfic on a normal one

>>214274332
it's a typical lee melty, more sad then anything

>>214274243
>Haha, sorry for being forward...
>It's just how I am...
>I wear my heart on my sleeve...
>And, I think we have a connection, y'know?
My rebuttal.

Lads Higurashi is fucking sick, I highly reccomend reading it

>>214274332
real schizophrenia

>>214274318
dunelm

nth for the gyaldem

>>214274314
>If you could have a brand new coke, or a coke that's had 11 penises in it, which would you prefer?

>>214274376
You need to trust in the heart of the cards

>>214274381
Mad how hr literally did nothing wrong and followed procedure

>>214274382
Hmm... looks a bit... noncey

>>214274332
heathermong bot posts are so bizarre
like what's the point of this >>214273911?

>>214274365
want to know something even sadder?
the real lee quit years ago and the people who gained infamy for lee baiting now bait each other and respond to as if they're lee just so they can keep doing it

don't have anyone haha, you lads want it?

slag at toil had a mental health day today. swear blokes wouldn't get away with that bollocks

>>214274406
get the thighs worshipped

hate the way they play music on their speakers

>>214274432
mad how you're here 24.7 just moaning and complaining about the place

Any woman even in her early 20s who's a virgin must be a massive, massive weirdo. Like think about how weird the average verge on here is and then imagine they were playing the game on 10x easy mode

>>214274451
Try it and find out

Americans are like the cool older brothers in /brit/
We should up and impart some wisdom or a cool story and then just like that we’re gone again

Toilberg needed some bank details from me.
I got them out on my phone to show them.
The folder they were in was very clearly, in a jocular fashion, titled "Jewish things".
Toilberg definitely saw it but didn't say it.
Luckily this country is full of antisemites.

I'm Italian and I'm white
just wanted to get that out there

>>214274382
I still need to read steins;gate and clannad

wonder if its cheaper to extract whey protein from milk rather than buying protein powder

>>214274464
those middle aged white men, always shouting on speaker phones too

>>214274464
yeah those obnoxious white people always playing loud music

>>214274464
ah yes and the picture is of a typical person who would play music out loud as well

>>214274464
German tourist playing scat porn at full volume, many such cases

toilberg pissing me off

Does my fucking nut in when people say Cleopatra wasn't Egyptian.

>>214274451
that means she's on the blob you virgin

>>214274473
or just ugly

>>214274507
yeah but she wasn't THOUGH was she m8

Gonna buy me sum more Games Workshop stocks, lads

why don't women exist?

>>214274294
>tomatoes and strawberries
Oh in that case we're all set then lmfao.

>>214274527
Yeah except for the fact that she was wasn't she you daft cunt

>>214274507
Grow up

>>214274507
Nobody says she wasn't Egyptian though do they. They say she wasn't black, which is true, she wasn't.

early 20s 6'5" virgin

>>214274507
Why would that do your nut in you fucking virgin

>>214274507
she wasn't though, that would be like saying pakis are english

Just never do any toil until I absolutely, absolutely have to. Mad really.

>>214274554
I accept your concession.

Wish people would stop emailing me
I don’t care about this shit do what you want

>>214274471
why do you have a bot that posts those random fake stories about nothing it is honestly just so bizarre

Heathermong's farmer thing is extra bizarre because you can tell there's real venom behind it
What did farmers do to him, or his family?

Does /brit/ like Tom Scott?
He is very anti-reddit may I remind you.

Just never do any toil. Mad really.

early 30s 5'5" virgin

mid 30s 5'7 virgin

me gwan fi mek babyman wi yu mada gyal

it's always "how are you so stupid monglad" never "how are you monglad"

;_;

Should I see Andy Stott or Autechre lads

>>214274498
thats based though

early 30s 6'2 virgin

>>214274565
you're also fat

>>214274629
i propose another question, why are you monglad?

>>214274608
corr she's got big chebs

>>214274608
He's clearly a massive lefty but the videos were good

>>214274608
I actually really do
I don't watch YouTube anymore, I stopped when he quit because he was the only person who made good videos on the entire website

>>214274608
watched some of that panel show he hosts and it was the cringiest reddit shite i think ive ever seen.

Chicken I cooked was still a bit pink and I can already feel the prickling pains starting in my stomach

>>214274565
>>214274612
>>214274616
>>214274640
ahh yes, the famed shagger's general

>>214274608
i call him tom scat because he is shit lol

shouted at some cunt who walked his dogs right into the cycle lane

>>214274608
weird to see him in a green shirt

wonder why chapell roan dresses like a drag queen

>>214274608
Heard some very concerning allegations about this man

quitting my job to play the new hollow knight all day

>>214274649
i'am a bit slow

Someone just roared in my face.

wilful traitors, all

>>214274683
might be because she's a rug muncher

How is it even possible to be a virgin in your 20s, like wtf are you guys doing?
School's full of women
College's full of women
Uni's full of women
Job's full of women
Women everywhere. How do you fuck things up this badly?!?!?

>booked the first week of september off
>it's going to be pissing down

>>214274644
I'm around 14 stone which isn't overweight for my height

Seen Any Austin basically do a wink-wink speech about how good government and regulation is in his last video, lad is on THIN ICE with me

>>214274705
likes fannies does she?

>>214274722
serves you right

UM x

>>214274722
Comfy week indoors spent doing little to nothing

>>214274717
women only want to shag chad

>>214274665
That's because she's fucking obese

>Staff let slip that Meghan Markle's larder is organised according to strict rules, set by the Duchess herself. All jars, bottles etc. need to be perfectly arranged and displayed two centimetres apart.
>One recent trip to Whole Foods ended in disaster when Meghan discovered a member of the Sussex's staff had bought own brand baking soda, rather than the Arm & Hammer one she had specifically requested. Despite being told the store was all sold out of Arm & Hammer, Meghan went nuts, complaining it was "triggering" for her because when she was young and poor, her family could only afford own brand products.
Isn't baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) the same regardless of brand?

>>214274717
>School's full of women
nonce alarm going haywire

>>214274717
>School's full of women
>College's full of women
>Uni's full of women
not if you do stem

>>214274733
yeah she's a scissor sister

>>214274717
Paid for it at 23
Got it for free at 29
Just made it

Why are they like this?

>>214274745
what happened

OGRE

>>214274684
17 missing children

>>214274765
You don't have to fuck a classmate retard there's women doing other courses

>>214274771
>Paid for it at 23
would you recommend?

>>214274784
um i dont know um x

>>214274760
yeah it's like paracetamol

>>214274804
Yeah no reason not to really

>>214274784
that's umposter
he just does that

>I'm happy being single
what a fib

>>214274792
what is westminster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CYzWI6pJMU
choon

>>214274802
and how can you do that when you have no mutual friends?

really though why set up a bot to post random fake stories that get no engagement what is the point

>>214274760
There's a video from the 60s or something on YouTube about 'selling to the negro', one of the tips is that the black gentleman loves brands and won't accept anything he perceives to be inferior

>>214274857
go up and say hello

>>214274843
capital city of the uk

umbreon

not had it off with a bird for over a decade

>>214274857
Join a club

>>214274745
me when i fondle my nipples

unposter is a an obese unwashed 37yo with permanent wotsit stains on his fat sausage fingers

>>214274879
whys it got a voting intention

>>214274760
>One recent trip to Whole Foods ended in disaster when Meghan discovered a member of the Sussex's staff had bought own brand baking soda, rather than the Arm & Hammer one she had specifically requested
She genuinely could be the most easily-hated person to ever live.

>>214274792
>Find out now
They collect their data by asking users if a bingo site to answer questions in order to win freebies
Doesn't take a genius to see what way that skews the results

love being a virgin freak me

un

Might have to close the windows for the first time in about 3 months.

>>214274894
sounds cute

>>214274877
would be weird

>>214274888
good idea
football or rugby society?

>a customer at toil had a really cute babby
>smiling and making faces at the baby
>it's dad turns the baby away from me in the pram

why are some people so mean?
fuck my evil retard life

was a big fan of umposting before it became a PEDO RAPIST DOGWHISTLE

There have been three new Prime Ministers since I last had sex

do you hear a song in your head whenever you're thinking sinister thoughts lads? for me it's the dexter intro song

>>214274942
>football or rugby society?
mixed lacrosse

>>214274792
Is this good or bad?

>>214274942
>would be weird
nobody cares unless your the smelliest incel on the planet

>>214274966
didn't go to private school unfortunately
do know someone in lacrosse though

>>214274948
5 for me

>>214274956
no ones ever said any of that

raping rorke at lightspeed

might do a cum

epic crap battles of poostory

>>214274956
2025
>um
>UMMM
>UM x
>ummy

>>214274954
mr. robot theme
bit of a grey hat programmer you see

>>214274991
you don't have to have gone to private school you silly twat
lots of people take up new sports at uni

>>214275004
did that at quarter to 1 this morning

I have only ever had sex under a Tory government

grabbing rorke out of his tatty gaming chair and raping him while his EUIV save goes south

catberg prowling around

so apparently when brits go to school they all get gayly molested by older students. doesnt sound great

glod

ummy specifically makes my toes curl

>>214274792
>PMP, short for Pick My Postcode, is the UK's biggest free daily giveaway site. It is a free to enter daily postcode draw platform available to all UK citizens.
>FON surveys rely on PMP members to answer questions as they visit the site. PMP members are incentivised to visit the site daily to earn bonuses and claim any giveaway winnings. They do this by participating with site activities and one of these activities is answering survey questions if they so choose.
lol
lmao, even

>>214275067
it's fab

>>214274954
sailormoon theme song for me. choooooon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg-McDlm_98

>>214275067
builds character

catberg now on my lap

>>214275039
I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it because I'm quite working class and incellish
I think I'll do football

>lol
>lmao, even
bit cringe isn't it

>>214275113
niggas seen some harrowing shit. made his hair go white

>>214275121
okay mate, have fun

anyone else going to BunkFest this weekend?

niggas name keir

Can feel a sexual emergency coming on. Fortunately I'm not an animal, so I'll just have a wank.

Fully checked out at toil, think this is what they call quiet quitting except it will become real quitting when I have something new lined up

What's the bong response?

porn parody idea: epic rape battles of history

>>214275156
that's actually wonderful

I don't like working class people

>>214275158
yeah x

>>214275074
ummy x

>>214275171
Irrelevant and frankly embarrassing for the law firm in question

ummmm hahaah um um um u,,,,mmmmm hehe

>>214275186
;_;

>>214275161
dtfib really spent so long trying to force a personality here

lazy lazy lazy day today

rorke chasing waterfalls

>>214274039
it's functional, not aesthetic

>>214275171
no fan of ofcom but I really doubt they're going to respond to a meme lawsuit

>>214275186
whatever,,,,,,

they got rorke working the mines

>>214275211
this gave it a read through and its cringe as fuck

>>214275244
submissive and breedable

hello my little umchickens x

zesty /brit/ best /brit/

>>214275272
>>214275273
>>214275278

>>214275252
Far away
So far away
Down to Worthing
And work there
Far away
We'll go far away
And flog ice creams
'til the company's on its knees

>>214275272
That’s a horse mate

>>214275310
think youll find that its a fucking pony mate

I'm a pathological liar

>>214275298
UMMY x

>>214274507
Greek progeny of inbreeding

>>214275273
um! um! um!

>>214275298
what's your fav episode

On Friday we will ask Mousey about his opinion on MissingNo

makes you think doesnt it

Un jour je serai fort
J'aurai plus de fourmis dans les jambes
Quand le monde est immobile
Pourquoi c'est moi qui tremble ?

my mum bought me and my brother much higher quality blazers than the ones the school sold and sewed the badge on and we got mercilessly bullied throughout year 7 for it. they called us the gay twins and tried making us touch each other knobs once.

>>214275384
I've never watched it I just think they look cute and it's a bit naughty to post them :c

>>214275401
>Virginity is an act of the heart

fish fingers for tea x

>>214275401
I've seen twitter screencaps for years and I still have no idea if you read it top to bottom or reverse

>>214275407
Does sound really gay tbf

>>214275407
screaming
was also bullied a bit for having nice studded shoes

>>214275404
you feeling ok, la?

>>214275407
how much higher quality?

>>214275407
alri niles and frasier

when umposter is scared and says um um um um over and over again until you kiss his lips and he calms down

>>214275508
ummmm

>>214275407
you love writing all these gay fantasies, don't you

>>214275324
>Incel hero Gregg Wallace
fucking what
lmfao no way

piss off umpaedos

>>214275508
um now I’m hard

>>214275466
yes, you?

Was going to go to a speed dating event tomorrow but just scanned the attendance list and it's all Indians
Can't be arsed

>>214275558
hey Dikshit, stop stealing my moves!

>>214275490
it was really noticeable, the material on the school ones was very dull matte black whereas ours were almost like silk and had a shimmer to them. lads would grab us and rub their hands all over our blazers and go like "ooooh that is fine!". the lapels were all perfect and it was all finely sewn and stuff. think it was from a proper suit shop. our trousers were also really high quality

>>214275577
you sound depressed, that's all

>the gay twins
Fucking howling

>>214275596
bit embarrassed to say this but it's a bigflo et oli lyric
(I don't listen to them that often)

>>214275531
UM UM UM UM

>>214275639
oh do grow up

>>214275517
it's not a fantasy, this was our actual life and it set up our dreadful teenage years and now adulthoods. i've also got a lot of insecurity over fashion now.

btw we're all in the secret new

um. where's the fucking new?

>>214272223
>>214272223

>>214275682
>lee bait
nah no thanks

>>214275682
not really a proper thread though is it

>>214275401
俺も童貞です

someone make a proper new

get a freshie made

>>214275709
>>214275703
He's not posting anymore

someone say make a proper poo?

new should be schoolgirl legs edish

>Please wait a while before making a thread
it's over to you then lads

just tried making a new for the first time ever and it asked me to wait for 5 minutes

>>214272223
>>214272223
>>214272223