Thread 214613951

Melania edition

>>214613951 (OP)
This is the thread

>>214614078
This is the next thread

this is now the thread

personally think this is the thread

quite the poo indeed

>>214615288
jolly good show dear boy

we can recycle this

>>214618081
nothing ever happens

AQHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

right well that was certainly an alarm wasn't it. no louder than the alarm I set for myself each morning

Just got an emergency alert on my phone. Is something interesting happening?

Didnt get the alert :(

>>214618486
we're all being drafted into a war against iran (we're on the israel side)
see you in boot camp la

>>214618849
haven't been drafted then, well done!

The First Lady of the United States has posed nude for money

>>214618988
:)

nth for the baddiedem

fuckin knacked. think i’m going to go for an hours kip.

In Prague airport de lads

this is the thread

>>214615228
>>214615228
>>214615228
We're in here

i’m a snoozepilled napchad

>>214613951 (OP)
>Melania edition

>>214620309
yes you are
yes you are
*pets and snuggles you*

All white Australian males deserve death and replacement

>>214613951 (OP)
she purty

do you guys actually use Tesco Mobile?

>>214621915
As long as I get to be replaced by my yellowish offspring

watching some bloke testing camping stoves

>>214622178
no

saw the video of that violent nigger ape killing that ukrainian woman

I did a march against antisemitism today

alri

need to renew my phone contract, is vodafone alright?

>>214622211
why

>>214622194
comfy

>>214622205
He had mental elfs and is the real victim here

>>214622211
yeah?

>>214622205
sad. maybe unconscious bias isn't so bad

>>214622178
No, I use O2.
You on Verizon nig?

>>214622255
sadly white women will still have sex with them

>>214622205
not his fault he had mental heath is it

>>214622194
Hope one explodes and through some kind of quantum magic the fragments shoot out through your screen and embed themselves in your face

>>214622278
alri

>>214622233
Because it’s a real risk in this country. Huge numbers of people hate Jews >>214622252

>>214622228
no its awful

>>214622271
Verizon is the only network that provides service to my rural shithole

>>214622277
why

Why do I always fall for the maccies trap
Now I feel like SHIT

>>214622285
not nearly enough

>>214622252
Yeah. Never said it was my photo did I?

was in brighton today there's loads of cormorants about which was nice

>>214622291
oh really. which one are you on

>>214622305
Because I hate you and I want you to suffer

laying out a maccies trap in front of rorke's gaff

>>214622331
oh so you just decided to rename the filename to look as if it was taken on your phone

alri

>>214622317
I had it for breakfast. 2 hash browns, a double sausage and egg mcmuffin, and a large latte. Was a nice treat

>>214622285
jews are probably one of the smallest minorities, not even half a million

>>214622319
Hating peoples is never good m8

Employed Woman's a bit like Burt Reynolds. She's very reliable but she's got a moustache

>>214622339
bet you saw a few shags with cocks too

who watches films 3 hours long that's too long to focus on one thing and basically the whole day gone

tired of living
scared of dying

>jew is already lying about taking the photo
pottery

>>214622359
why

>>214622366
No? The organisers created a folder of photos of participants

umchickens...assemble!

>>214622371
one on the left would get it

*grabs an umchicken and puts him on the chopping block*

>>214622410
i had fish tacos at the new restaurant below the i360

>>214622371
Remind me
In hanky code, does that mean "circumcised only"?

>>214622451
um um um um

>>214622435
<‘ • )
( V )
u—u

Um!! xx

*drives a van straight through the umchicken enclosure at high speed*
whoops aha I guess that's dinner sorted

>>214622482
>>214622496
UM X

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmyxC31iVw&

holy based

>>214622374
used to work with a woman that would bring one if their fully loaded burgers into work for breakfast

huggy kissy

>>214622560
Der Ewige Boomer Jude

ᵃʰʰʰʰʰʰʰ

derpina

>>214622560
why have they got Britain, Israel, and Iran flags mixed together

How can normies complain about cost of living, house prices, how hard it is to find a job, but also say immigration is good and you're a racist if you disagree

>>214622371
americans don't suffer

>>214622560
why do they need to protest? they already run the government

>>214622423
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GWsDmWE00Ac

Which one? Japanese or Korean?

>>214622605
why do you keep posting this same frog

>>214622602
I always wanted to shag her

I LOVE BOOBIES

>>214622614
why the Pepsi product placement?

>>214622634
he is an avatarfagging tranny janny

>>214622634
I just like it, you know?

>>214622630
What's the difference?

>>214620737
I am a fa/tv/irgin, so mostly movie quizzes.

>>214622672
fuck off yank
spoiler your cretinous hogs in future

>>214620243
ren might be the pengest baddiedem

why is heathermong obsessed with falmouth

>>214622630
Think it'd be the left for me bossman

>>214622672
is that brooke little
what the hell happened toher

>>214622614
They demonstrably do

>>214622672
luveley english rose

>>214622705
sammythighs is an english rose

>>214622714
cockmogs me!

>>214622560
imagine how much of a stooge you'd have to be

alri

Your mom is about to make your BBC addiction worse

My IQ is 76. Reckon that’s good because I’m only 30

>>214622754
kys

>>214622724
She's no longer little.

>>214622767
There's no way

>>214622658
UMMY WUMMY ~~

It was all real, all of it

>>214622767
billions of people are thinking this right now

I'm still studying for my IQ test

Don Draper in Mad Men was born im 1926 so could still be alive right now but probably not but maybe.

>>214622560
whyve they got the bloody iranian monarchy flag up lol

>>214622793
Getting my ticket to see Ariana next year.

>>214622793
fat bitch

While the world scrolls past images of bombed hospitals and starving children, doctors who’ve visited Gaza carry those images forever.

They’ve held the babies whose parents are buried under rubble.

They’ve watched children die for lack of antibiotics.

They’ve seen women bring in their melted children in plastic bags.And then they come home to politicians debating whether it’s even real.This is not a debate.

This is the greatest crime of the 21st century. Stand up. Speak out. Flood the streets. End the genocide in Gaza.

don't want to know what my IQ is

>>214622836
mine is about 130

might get reddit flags just to filter all the awful reddit flag posters with their gay little personas

Anyone used this before? It's my first time

er

>>214622776
The Great One

>>214622836
I did a real one years ago and it was 108 kek. Probably below 100 now. Big mong me

130 IQ is the boundary where you go from midwit tier to seriously intelligent tier.

>>214622859
go to a turkish barber

>>214622823
Because they were a stooge of the USA. It’s a pro-status quo protest

>>214622813
he kills himself at the end

>>214622870
Don't use it on your bumhole or balls

>>214622832
>This is the greatest crime of the 21st century
its literally not even in the top 10

My IQ is 250
(IQ meaning Immeasurable Queerness)

alova vera on the dick

having a steamy late night rendezvous with a box of bbq shapes

>>214622870
and what exactly are you planning on using it for

Oh, hello there, folks! Bradley Walsh here, your host with the most, coming to you live from a safe spot on the sidelines. I've got me cuppa tea in one hand – nice and strong, two sugars – and a packet of Hobnobs in the other. Crunchy, they are, perfect for a bit of late-night entertainment. Now, settle in, because what we've got unfolding here in the dead of night on these quiet British streets is nothing short of a proper spectacle. It's like a twisted episode of The Chase, but instead of chasers, we've got waves of furious ten-year-olds with special needs, all hell-bent on tearing poor Warwick Davis limb from limb. And Warwick? He's just nipping home from the corner shop, bless him, with a carrier bag full of milk and a loaf, completely oblivious. No coppers in sight – they're none the wiser – and any passers-by? They're loving it, chucking in their two pence with shouts like "Get the midge!" and "Go on, mongs, get him!" because, let's face it, the lad's not everyone's cup of tea in the popularity stakes.Right, let's set the scene proper. It's pitch black out here with that nippy autumn chill in the air. Street lamps flickering orange, casting long shadows on the pavements. Warwick's strolling along, humming to himself – you know how he is, always chatty, that warm, cheeky voice of his from all them films. "Blimey, what a day," he's muttering, "Can't wait to get in and put the kettle on. Samantha's probably got the telly on, waiting for me." He's got his little legs pumping, carrier bag swinging, not a clue what's brewing.First wave hits like a thunderclap. Out from the alleys and behind the bins they come – a dozen or so kids, all about ten, eyes wild with rage. These aren't your average nippers; oh no, they've got that special needs edge. Some with autism-fueled focus, zeroing in like lasers. Others with Down's syndrome strength – proper retard strength, as they call it – heaving themselves forward with unnatural power for their size.

>>214622870
Um!! xx

>>214622891
I do need a trim actually

>>214622898
why not? if i were to get hair removed thats the only place i'd want it

so is this um samefag gay or retarded or both

I suspect that my thinking capability is higher than average but it takes me longer to get there. Not sure how that would show on an IQ test. Most of the time I feel like a mong but I'm good at my tech job.

brexit means brexit

One lad's got cerebral palsy but legs like pistons, dragging himself along but swinging fists that could dent a car door. They're snarling, spitting, "Rip him! Tear the dwarf!" Warwick drops his bag in shock, milk carton bursting on the tarmac. "What the blooming heck is this?" he yelps, that familiar, plucky tone kicking in. "Kids? At this hour? Oi, you lot, pack it in! I'm just trying to get home!"But they're on him. The first one, a stocky boy with ADHD hyperactivity, launches like a rocket, grabbing Warwick's arm and yanking hard. Warwick twists away – he's nimble, our Warwick, from all them roles dodging goblins and whatnot – and shoves the lad back with a firm push. "Easy now, son! What's got into you?" But no dice; the kid's up again, stronger than he looks, claws raking at Warwick's jacket. Another girl, maybe with fetal alcohol syndrome, she's got that wiry, unpredictable energy, biting at his ankles. Warwick hops back, kicking out – not hard, mind, but enough to send her tumbling into a bush. "Sorry, love! Didn't mean that!" he's babbling, voice rising in panic. The wave presses in, fists flying, nails scratching. One beefy chap with intellectual disabilities hauls Warwick down by the collar, slamming him against a lamppost. Crack – that's his head bouncing off metal. Blood trickles, but Warwick's fighting back now, survival mode on. He grabs a loose brick from the pavement edge – resourceful, innit? – and swings it low, cracking knees. Kids howl, some dropping, but others pile on, ripping his shirt, gouging skin. Warwick's yelling, "Help! Someone! These kids are mad!" But the few dog-walkers nearby? They're doubled over laughing. "Get him, mongs! Squash the short-arse!"

man this leaf loser is fucking annoying

>>214622934
>>214622990
ai slop

iggy pop is 120 years old

>>214622983
bro's got the slow and steady thinking build

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmyxC31iVw

this video is blowing up

>>214623002
are you gay or retarded or both

Anyone who drinks gold top by the bottle is a sexy bastard in my book

>>214622983
I had a proper IQ test from a psychologist, they use this method where you get like 5 different scores, speed being one of them. My slowness was dragging me down also.

>>214622605
Iranian monarchy flag
>>214622895
The status quo is an Iranian dictatorship.

>>214623013
Looks like he had a mastectomy.

>>214622960
It's not good on sensitive areas. Get an epilator

Wave one down – Warwick's battered, breathing heavy, but he's scrambled over a low wall into someone's garden, dodging the last few stragglers. He's got scratches everywhere, shirt in tatters, but he's alive. "Blimey O'Reilly," he's gasping, "What was that about? Must be some prank gone wrong." Oh, Warwick, if only you knew. I'm munching another biscuit here – chocolate one this time – thinking, "This is better than telly!"Second wave rolls in as he peeks out, trying to leg it down the road. Bigger group now, twenty maybe, fresh from who-knows-where. These ones are varied: some with sensory processing disorders, screaming at the top of their lungs to disorient him, high-pitched wails echoing off houses. Others with muscular dystrophy, but they've got braces and crutches they're wielding like weapons. A couple with Asperger's, methodically circling to cut off escape. They're chanting, "Kill the midget! Rip him apart!" Warwick's eyes widen. "Not again! You little blighters, sod off!" He grabs a garden gnome – desperate times – and hurls it, clocking one kid square in the chest. Thud, down he goes. But they're swarming: one girl with epilepsy triggers under stress, but she's foaming mad, seizing Warwick's leg and biting deep. He screams – proper agony – and stomps down, hearing a crunch. "Forgive me!" he's pleading, but it's kill or be killed. He vaults a fence, but they pull him back, retard strength in full force.
Fists pummel his ribs – crack, that's a break – blood spitting from his mouth. Warwick fights dirty now, gouging eyes, kneeing groins. Bodies pile up, kids whimpering, some out cold from his blows, others retreating with broken limbs. He staggers free, limping, one eye swelling shut. "I can't... I won't let you!" he's muttering through gritted teeth.

feeling gormless
gorm? nah don't have any sorry

>>214622983
I did cognitive test the other day and got 4 out of 100 on processing speed
the mad thing is I did a proper IQ test when I was a child and got 99th percentile

>>214623033
>gold top
does that still exist? never tried it, was always jealous of people who got bottles with a big cream layer at the top

lunar eclipse lads

>>214623052
wonder waht form of poo poos they do

RORKE BLOODY RORKE

>>214623098
thanks

Third wave – oh, this is getting tasty! Thirty kids now, the numbers swelling like a mob. Night's deeper, fog rolling in, making it all shadowy and nightmarish. These have extras: one lad with Tourette's barking insults while swinging a stolen bike chain. Another with spina bifida in a wheelchair, ramming Warwick's shins full speed. Crash – down he goes again. "You maniacs! I'm Warwick Davis, for goodness' sake! I've got a family!" But they're tearing at him, nails like claws, teeth sinking in. Warwick's resourceful; he spots a skip nearby, climbs in, using rubbish bags as shields. He flings bottles, shards cutting kids' hands. One wave member, a boy with severe ADHD, climbs after him, retard strength letting him haul Warwick out by the hair. They tussle – Warwick chokes him out with a bin liner twist, the kid going limp. Horrific, but he's surviving. Pedestrians jeer: "Finish the dwarf, you spastics!" Warwick emerges, covered in filth, more kids down – some twitching, others still. He's weakening, though, ribs screaming, bites festering.

when is this emergency alert meant to end
getting on my nerves a bit now

>>214623096
they do jersey milk in m&s

poo werewolf

>>214623107
you're on almost 100% protein by competition time so they have very sticky, smelly, difficult poos that are a struggle to get out and sometimes break off and go back up inside

^_-

>>214623096
Is Ask Jeeves broken?

I says that's not an emergency alert, that's my muddah

>>214623164
the raped

bicep bldg

scranning some agent orange

scranning some detective pear

Fourth wave hits hard – forty screaming terrors. Moon's out now, illuminating the carnage: blood-smeared pavements, kids' bodies scattered like broken dolls. Warwick's cornered in an alley, no escape. "Please, stop this madness!" he's begging, voice hoarse but still that earnest Warwick charm. But no mercy. They charge: ones with behavioral disorders throwing rocks, others with physical impairments using canes as spears. Warwick grabs a drainpipe, climbs a bit – he's small, agile – kicking down at heads. Skulls crack, kids fall. But they pull him down, piling on. He's punching, biting back now, survival pure. "Take that, you rotters!" Rips and tears – his arm's gashed deep, bone showing. He bashes heads together, three at a time. Wave thins, but he's fading, vision blurring.Fifth and final wave – the big one, fifty or more, the last of 'em. Warwick's a mess: face pulped, clothes rags, hobbling on one leg. "I... I can do this," he's whispering, spotting a manhole cover. He pries it up – clever lad – and uses it as a shield, swinging like a discus. Kids fly, bones shattering. But they're overwhelming: retard strength everywhere, holding him down, ripping flesh. One sinks teeth into his throat – gurgle. Warwick thrashes, last gasps: "Tell my family... I tried..." They tear him apart, piece by bloody piece, until there's nothing left but a red smear on the cobbles.And that's it, folks! No more kids standing, but no Warwick neither. What a chase that was – brutal, eh? I'm finishing me tea here, last biscuit gone. Blimey, what a night. Over to you!

>>214623184
i find if i post my question here some tedious cunt will go and find a screenshot for me and all i have to do is ignore their message about 'is [less obvious search engine] broken?'

listen to me don't listen to me talk to me don't talk to me dance with me don't dance with me no beep beep

Any Scottish Plain man in?

>>214623293
is yandex broken

Um!! xx

hello??

>>214622211
>Oh i wonder who was behind the recent flag psyo....
nvm

>>214623184
>Is Ask Jeeves broken?
don't remind me...

that kaitlyn katsaros is proper filth

>>214623372
sorry dtfic killed the thread stone dead with that atrocious post

tits or gtfo

Should I watch Bender Like Beckham

>>214622285
Good

>>214623406
mindraped

>then they came for the Jews
Good

>>214623372
Toby >.<

Remember when that lad posted a pic of the shit he'd done in the toilet and his balls were in the photo?
Proper top banter that

might rape rorke #RAPERORKE

jews are smart

>>214623161
:)

get rorke raped
drag him into the street and rape him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwUEb8Q-qAA
tuneage

>>214623487
dont like them

>>214623487
not really went to school with many

maybe if you are so insecure and concerned about being bottom of the food chain youd learn how to make good posts
hate reactions is the lowest reward you can get, if you are going to cope with others not wanting "low hanging fruit" for 10 hours of your day per reply

da jooz

>>214623486
seen this hashtag trending on the socials or the soshe meed if you will aha just my little abbreviation think nothing of it x

>>214623527
alri north london lad

⊬⊑⟒ ⟟⋏⟒

getting the music listened to

rorke? yeah I raped him

need to see a pic of your ass without photoshop
and show me your tits

How do I increase my thinking speed

Just cold extracted 600mg codeine and slugged it - in for a naughty night x

does dtfic intentionally try and make the thread shittier

>>214623593
no, I dont think you did. I think you have number dyslexia

>>214623548
shh

raping rorke and making his smeggy bedroom even smeggier

>>214623588
lol

where do i get a prozie from now without adultwork?

>>214623597
hes mindraped you

Would somebody please think of the donkeys?
2 pounds a month could make all the difference

rape donkeys

>>214623646
walk up to any of your local gyppo encampments

for just 2 pounds a month you can help get rorke raped

>>214623554
good taste lad big fan me

rorke got an involuntary boner

>>214623748
you see where hanging flags everywhere leads, rorke?

rorke got 3 involuntarily boners

>>214623790
nothing involuntary about it

:v :V :\/

>>214623807
bloody love this town me

The Beatles are the best band ever

looked at hollow knight reddit and theyre having a meltdown over the game being too hard

what you lads done this weekend then

stockport gang loves their stockport

>>214623855
more of a blossoms man myself

>>214623846
whats your favourite part?
i like bramhall park

im all shaky and sick

>>214623748
a new pink floyd concert?

>>214623868
made my bedroom less smelly and played tetris

>>214623902
grow up

rorke and the umchickens headlining glastonbury with supporting act the asinine soliloquies

>>214623898
the tapas bars and trendy pubs in heaton moor

started playing hollow knight and now I want to become a woman

>>214623874
i'm from didsbury so i'm a bit of a imposter

>>214623937
why do people keep talking about this game isn't it really old?

>>214623855
The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved.

tapas? up north? what do they do mini pork pies lmao

mcrorke setting scotland the brave as his alarm

touch my tummy tummy
touch my tummy tummy tummy tummy tummy tummy tummy

>>214623950
you now understand the power of advertising bots

>>214623867
The new one? Thinking about getting it myself, not sure how much it is thoughbeit

hollow rorke

>>214623868
yesterday I drove out to Decathlon and purchased a pair of waterproof shoes so I can do my walks in the rain

also I did some exercise. That's about it.

my grey hairs have a different texture to my normal hairs

got the noodles boiling

>>214623961
you want me to like The Monkees instead?

>>214623868
made leah my gf in stardew valley

>>214624038
scaruffi says the best rock record ever is trout mask replica so you can start with that

>>214624030
got a waterproof coat and some waterproof troosers for your walks as well?

>>214623956
wtf why did the media cut out this part
>>214617422

>>214623855
truth nuclear weapon, as the yanks say

>>214623868
I moved some stuff to my new house and got incredibly drunk so have done fuck all today. Need to pack more stuff this evening to take over tomorrow but I can't be arsed really

>>214623961
I don't know about sales etc, I just really like The Beatles's music and can relate to John Lennon.

>>214624065
I've got a waterproof jacket but it's a softshell one so it does alright but isn't fully waterproof. It's enough for my purposes.

I don't wear waterproof trousers, I just wear shorts. Don't really mind if my legs and shorts get wet with rain.

>>214624038
like britpunk instead

>>214624007
cheap as chips

in bed

in shed

>>214624108
I'd rather shoot myself

heard silksong is good but stil haven't played the first game aha x

Benito Mussolini was the greatest socialist of the 20th Century

>>214624112
airbags should've deployed

I'm dead

anyone here unironically like london?

>>214624104
you just walk in teh city or what

>>214624152
should buy the first one lad it's like 15 quid for what is universally accepted to be a masterpiece game

fifteen pounds.

that train stabbing is absurdly primitive and savage

>>214623610
Umm, am I gonna die x

jus blow my shi smooth offf

Sir Benito Mussolini

rorke eating an extra juicy nectarine and getting the sweet juices all over himself

>>214624201
is it not just another metroid clone

>>214624162
rorke? are you there rorke?

>>214624194
i don’t like anywhere where h*mans live

>absurdly primitive savages

add it to the list

Um!! xx

>>214624194
I grew up here but I've hardly been outside it

>>214624249
you can't say that

>>214624275
>>214624275
>>214624275

>>214624257
foozbawl

>>214624248
screm

>>214626164
why is he flaccid
dis nigga gay or he got a small dick :skull: