>>215826015 (OP)
Thanks for the thread. Going on a rant over here.
No, i actually want to die. The psychiatrist wrote suicidal. But i dont want to get a liveleak death, i want to lay in my bed, take a pill, and never wake up. But all the fucking suicide methods available in this shithole are brutal. Now this year my anxiety and desire to die increased due to the possibility of having colon cancer, ill have a colonoscopy in 1 and a half month, and they tell. I cant fucking live with an ostomy, i don't even know what am i going to do with my life. I've been thinking of jumping in front of a train, and hope is fast. I just wish to die peacefully please god allow me that one please.