Thread 215889900

dua lipa edition

>>215889900 (OP)
no

>>215889900 (OP)
Nasty trollop

>>215889917
yep

I've fucked it lads

>>215889929
How so?

>>215889900 (OP)
>>215889923
it's an ugly tranny
delete it

>>215889945
proper fucked it m8

>>215889900 (OP)
she would be perfect if she had double C cups

Been constipated basically all week now

>>215889941
Yeah, probably unfair of me to associate all Spanish women with one crazy stripper/prostitute. I don't know why but i've just always considered French women a tier higher than Spanish birds.

haven't spoken to anyone except my parents since july

>>215889990
You been on the drugs?

>>215889980
you attracted to men with tits?

Just going through my amazon order history and reminiscing about all the places I've lived (and all the unnecessary shite I've ordered).
Preferable to starting Office Toil

>>215889996
probably because they are honestly

So shaggable

Got the British lava lamp warming up.

>>215890039
pengaleng

>>215890039
ugly dude
stop posting it

>>215890008
Only had 3 pints and about 20mls of whiskey last Friday

>>215890053
Bet her fanny smells divine x

I hate how everything we buy is shite from China that's never built to last. Every 12-18 months I have to rebuy my headphones because they crack from wear and tear and then eventually one of the headphones snaps off and is held on by the wire.

>>215889890
>>215889913
>>215889929
Ktim

>>215890053
bender alert
bender alert

This is the man who's fucking Dua Lipa.
Looks like a right inbred mong

>>215890064
there is no fanny just a tiny shriveled penis taped up or a bare eunuch mound

>>215890080
Doesn’t make sense
He must be Jewish

>>215890078
you are 100% retarded if you look at op and see a woman

>>215890096
you've got tranny derangement syndrome i'm afraid

>>215890039
Really wish she'd let those med genes shine and grow out some pit hair, some arm hair, big blossoming bush... even a faint happy trail

>>215890099
I don't give a shit about trannies but I know a man when I see one

>>215889900 (OP)
it's a dude

>>215890080
Timmy won

>>215890060
booze wouldnt cause constipation. must be something else. eat a whole head of broccoli.

Spanish archaeologist Manuel Esteve was photographed wearing a Corinthian helmet he had unearthed

>>215890128
Alcohol absolutely does because it dehydrated you.

My lips are like a circle they literally look like this -> o
Wish I had wider lips

>>215890080
probably rich. he has dogshit taste in women. dua lipa is a stuck up cunt from some shithole in the Balkans

got sent away by australian customs for having dog shite on my shoe

>>215890107
nah

>>215890104
timmy luv his women hairy and nasty LOL

>>215890128
>>215890144
I'm probably dehydrated from the booze. Need a big break off it just so fucking hard not to drink at the weekend. Just feels like *the* event to do

got 10 minutes to do a poo before i need to leave

WHAT DO THEY KNOW OF EUROPE
WHO ONLY EUROPE KNOW
AND WHO WILL HAIL OUR BROTHERS SLAYERS?
WHO WILL HAIL THE INVADING MEN?
WE MAY NOT SPEAK OF NATION
MAY NOT SPEAK OF SOIL AND FLAGS

hate broccoli if it's good for me why does it taste shit
>you just need to season it and cook it right
yeah exactly it tastes shit

>>215890223
the fabled pooa lipa

room smells of cock pong

can't step outside without the fucking dogs blasting my eardrums off I hate it so much why did god spawn in this shithole why wasn't I born in a comfy commieblock without a single chained dog in a 100km radius

>>215890226
Don't mind broccoli problem with it is it doesn't go with many other foods, just as a side veg to a roast

>>215890175
If it's a skinny Mediterranean bird absolutely but i'm an outlier

Doing a listen lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9WO2ieJMYk

another day of weed and erotica writing

I enjoy plain steamed broccoli
it has a delicious sweet flavor and a nice texture
it goes well with many different foods

based dog-hating ruski

avatar use is not allowed

rape all leftoids right wing

>>215890144
ok yeah, but not 3 pints and a small whisky nearly a week ago

>>215890184
are you an old man? you must have fucked your organs if you have been constipated for a week from a relatively small amount of alcohol.

they're going to put taxes up to cover the £40bn blackhole so how the fuck do we not have a say in letting in boatloads of ngubus that cost the taxpayer £6bn+ a year

i'm in my fourth decade of life and still haven't scored any poontang

the no poontang clan

>>215890380
>pay piggy thinks he lives in a democracy
topkek pay up you cuck

>>215890385
I'm black

>>215890068
bought some sennheiser earphones and they've only lasted 8 months

>>215890416
my bayerdynamics still going strong after 3 years of abuse

wow Ricky Hatton son looks exactly like him I look nothing like my dad

it's so grey all the time
wish it could rain at least

>>215890068
>I hate how everything we buy is shite from China that's never built to last
Must be using the royal 'we' there you fat incel

fuckkkk that’s deep

sony mdr. always.

my audio technica ath-m50x I got in 2014 are still perfect

I’m a bad boy mc if you know what I mean

>>215890477
well I don't tell people after I have a wank why would they suddenly respect me less

wish i had about £4000 to spare for a pair of meze empyrean

>>215890484
Ktim. Only had to replace the cable and pads, the electronics are still perfect

i only ever wear one headphone because otherwise i can't hear mummy when she calls me

Any indians in da house?

>>215890525
yeah same I've replaced the pads a couple of times and the cable only once I think. good bit of kit

got sennheiser hd599s because they are mega comfy

>>215890484
i had 2 pairs of those and they each broke in the exact same way with one side losing tension
shame because they're good headphones, i must have an oddly shaped head

>>215890566
Fucking potato head cunt lol

fucking seething and fuming

today`s Pocket Monster of

the Day
Is ..

Spritzee !!

Got the same broom I've had for the past 20 years. It's had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in that time but it's still going strong

freaky ass nigga

>>215890661
How can it be the same broom if you've changed the whole thing multiple times?

>>215890661
Unc's shit himself again!

off to the mens mental health group soon

might move to rural Sweden and teach Javascript to school girls

>>215890661
uhh you see that references the ship of theseus which is why this kitchen sink comedy about how shit this country is became emblematic for the struggle of the relentless misery of the white working class

>>215890669
rodney you plonker

tunnel paint

woke has ruined femboys

>>215890742
this is what anime does to the brain

uncle albert destroyed the chandelier

>>215890477
why do you have this app mate

>>215890702
what's it like there?

Also is the pokemon legends z-a guy here? I downloaded the emulator but how do I get the game? You said you got it for free but from where? Might just download pokemon legends arceus from fitgirl repacks instead since I can't find where to get the one which just came out

>>215890717
I just like it when Boycie does the laugh mate I don't know about all this Greek shite

>>215890764
>what's it like there?
boring mostly. Only about 4 of us most weeks. I try to force myself though I need to start being more social

>>215890669
>The report stated that he "descended" into a world where his only communication with the outside world was with members of a cyber-community

>>215890767
I'd plap marleen

the toilsmen are marching to their battle stations

Alright Dave. Got the same ship I've had for the past 20 years.

>>215890783
what's being said then if it's boring also it'd be easier to be more social if you did something fun and social

>>215890705
you should do that in the congo instead

play it cool trig play it cool. i'm just going to lean on the bar

>>215890795
haha what a creep!
haha...

>>215890795
ktimmies

rodney is a genius he has two gcses

>>215890902
GCEs

>>215890914
fuck off unc

found an odd looking pill on the pavement thinking of shoving it up my arse

i often pull out my nasal hair but apparently that's really bad and you shouldn't do it

>>215890956
nose police gonna coem after you or summat?

Good morning team. I have my driving theory test soon. Wish me luck!!

mad how M&S is almost the same price as tesco now, literally why does anyone go to tesco? is it just habit or what

>>215890970
*boots your head off*

>>215890956
I pluck hairs from my ears and all over my face when I'm feeling anxious. need to stop as I'm worried I'll get ingrown hairs

A councillor was "pushed to the floor" after she confronted men who were putting up flags..

The local politician, a woman in her 40s, is said to have approached them as flags were being put up on the A259 in Seaford.

A disagreement broke out and she was then reportedly "pushed to the floor" by the two men.

>>215890985
trichotillomania

>>215890970
best of luck bby girl you know daddy is rooting for you keep that sexy ass in position and on mission haha
srsly tho best of luck my sweet

>>215890990
nice flag

some reet mental fuckers here when i woke up to piss 4 hours ago

Just messaged my manager telling them I can't finish at 22:00 pm Saturday and start 7:00 am Sunday as it's illegal. I'm taking charge of my life. Don't mess me about

>>215890969
no it's because it leaves a hole where viruses can get in

is this what its like having a gf

every chancellor raises taxes loads where does all that money go

ISP ban is in less than 60 days btw

>>215891062
Motability for umbongo and abdul

>>215891057
basically yeh

>>215890380
The current UK state is genuinely authoritarian in all the worst ways. You will be forced to be a PAYEpig normie with completely unremarkable political views that the state can freely terrorise while it ignores people who are actual problems.

>>215891062
The British state is a bloated and inefficient bureaucratic monstrosity, a gigantic waste of human labour and wealth that I believe cannot be reformed and must be entirely dismantled.

>>215891074
get it banned! Just in time for Xmas corrr

>>215891062
Unironically?
Pensions and healthcare for the increasing number of pensioners that rises ever year.
That plus interest of government debt is like £50bn a year now, a third of an R NHS

>>215890945
what does it look like?

They want everyone in the UK to be the sort of people who appear on gogglebox. It is the endgame.

>>215891119
Love ar Scarlet

i don't really have any political views and just do what i'm told

>>215891057
whats that orange thing

I dreamt I had big bowling ball breasts last night

nathan here on his own spamming on Xmas day omdz

Porridge and a vanilla latte for breakfast team

>>215891178
For me its crumpets with marmite and lurpak and a black americano

>>215890956
Pulling hair out of your nose is bad.
Pulling hair is bad.
Cutting your nails is bad.
Not cutting your nails is bad.
Shaving is bad.
Not shaving is also bad
Sleeping too much is bad.
Not sleeping enough is bad.
Not enough exercise is bad.
Too much exercise is also bad.
Everything is bad for you, the human body is a constantly decaying machine that makes it's gradual decline into obsolescence starting in your 20s. Who fucking cares about pulling hair when you'll get cancer, go blind, have your brain turn into mysh and brittle bones that snap with the lightest touch?

so that baroness who stole £230m of tax payers money stuck her company in administration and cleared all the money before the deadline day where she was supposed to be paying it back, will now get off without punishment and live out the rest of her life in dubai or some other such shithole where she will be safe from our governments reach to live her life of luxury

whats reeves going to do about that?

I like the morning time but am rarely up this early unless I need to be.

>>215891202
bring back mi6 wetwork i say

;]

fable bldg

>>215891202
bring back robin hood i say
he'd have her dealt with pronto

I post on /brit/ on Christmas and New Years

Anyone else getting a constantly resetting countdown timer on captcha lately? Very frustrating

need to stop using sport mode petrol cost is killing my broke ass

Need to get out of my sluggy bed and go to wfh toil

Imagine if we turned around and said to normies we're gonna block instagram because it doesn't align to our political views

I post on /brit/ very sporadically until I lose interest again and forget it exists for another year. Think an ISP ban will be funny

Toil is so dead today I could literally hang around on here all day and nobody would notice.

>>215891329
i pick toilbergs son up for work since he lives near me, in return toilberg pays for my fuel every month

>>215891363
How much

ommmmm I'm telling

didn't go back to bed award x

Going to wetherspoons after my theory test today guys

few of you lads better start looking for a new calling in life, we outta here

why is everything so difficult ;-;

>>215891408
@grok make me a new imageboard where every poster but me is a bot that mimicks /brit/

you are not out of here you are staying with me

it’s a shame we don’t have a recognised poster who could call on a new place to go. We could use a Spaino or 190. Reckon most will be glad not to come back here anyway

got a gay man's knob stuck up my arse again

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2025/oct/15/gb-news-viewers-more-likely-to-wrongly-believe-net-migration-to-uk-increasing

They should just title this GB news voters out themselves as uninformed thickos once again

are you lot not worried about what ofcom's going to do?

>>215891503
no, we deserve to be free of this hellhole

>>215889900 (OP)
COYG

In 2006, French police arrested a man who tried to sell several tufts of Ramesses' hair on the Internet

>>215891503
What can you do really
They want us to be brainwashed mongs getting raped by third worlders everyday

>>215891503
More worried about what Indians are doing to my country to be honest

>>215889900 (OP)
god I'd love to put a little yorkshire baby in her fertile albanian womb

>>215889900 (OP)
:3

im going to reddit unironically

ayo

>>215891601
one on the right looks sudanese lmao

People boinking is mental to my chud 30yo incel me

>>215891601
why did they cover the women but not the men?

poached is the worst way to have eggs

>>215891589
well that is your home after all
run along now

>>215891577
Shut up bitch!
Exactly like a woman to womansplain how to knob a gay sex arse

>>215891464
We need to revive britchan

>>215891511
Do you really think once 4chan's gone we will all be frolicking outside like The Sound of Music?

>>215891632
>men

>>215891278
you should get a sort of orangey pumpkin one ready for halloween, also I've got to ask, why do you generate the images?

>>215891503
There's nothing we can do, we have lost (for now). Post 2020 political atmosphere has destroyed what was left of the soul of 90% of Britons. No one will care and anyone who speaks out about it in public will be accused of being a paedo.

>>215891632
Women must be protected

>>215891665
you can't talk >>215891628

>>215891632
can't be doxed as they all look the same

>>215891682
sent the frog flying

wish I could go viral for something

got some nice new slippers

Business idea: selectively breed animals for intelligence (maybe dogs, maybe orangutans, etc) and then use them as our slaves. Teach them language so you can order them about.

>>215891661
this site gets you addicted, reckon there’s some sort of dopamine hit that comes with making posts and getting reactions. Remove the addiction and people will be forced to seek it elsewhere, at least 1 poster will benefit from this

>>215891707
Mark David Chapman in 1980 be like

>>215891511
>>215891528
>>215891679
i'll miss you x

>>215891547
blame churchill for selling his nation to the small hats. kike starser's recent humiliation was thoroughly deserved

>>215891577
A great role model for pre-teen girls.

>>215891710
Yes unc

Anyone remember when that one anon was having a fit about every new gimmick and then it came out it's all because his own gimmick "neoliberal teeth" hadn't taken off

Some seriously unhinged individuals round these parts

kpop boybands are exploiting lonely women

>>215891736
they’ll all be booted off in less than 60 days so no worries x

>>215891713
orangutans are the kindest primate i think and they're fairly intelligent too

It's actually mental how shit the 2020s have been so far. Genuinely cannot comprehend how shite life is now for the average 25-35 year old bloke compared with 20 years ago.

>>215891674
I just enjoy it
I rotate the colors so orange might come up on halloween we'll see

>>215891757
Primates are pretty competitive and horrible in general
I don't think chad and stacy orangutans treat the incel freak flangeless males very well
Gibbons are nice and just hang out in their little families all getting along and singing together

£4.99 for a pumpkin at the paki shop. is that expensive?

/brit/ mfs waking up and being all doom and gloom for 16 hours before going to bed.

>>215891757
they also live largely solitary lives aside from when they're mating and when mothers are raising their young which lasts eight years
so really the only significant socializing is between mother and child

remember as a teen thinking it was a bit creepy hearing ten year old girls singing along to 'if you wanna be my lover' and it's only gotten worse, now pop culture aimed at children is overtly pornographic, and few adults seem to think it's an issue

>>215891801
absolute rip off, also far too early to carve a pumpkin it will be a rotten pile of mulch come halloween

>>215891783
you obviously don't know anything about orangutans

we at /brit/ support ofcoms ban

why is kemi still leader of the tories she’s terrible

>>215891707
just stalk a news reporter for weeks if you have to until they are on live telly giving a report to the studio from somewhere in public then jump behind them with your knob out and shout wubba lubba dub dub or something along those lines

>>215891832
yes it's bad
I think usually people who never celebrated halloween as a child do this because they don't understand how it works
it's like people who buy a christmas tree in the middle of november and don't put water in it and then complain that it's dry and all the needles and falling off and it looks bare by christmas
they don't understand because they never had a tree growing up most likely and they don't think to look up how you're supposed to do it

>>215891757
Cool, so we can take advantage of them. Get them to do domestic chores. Surely they could be bred to understand specific instructions in English.

Any piff horror films worth watching this spooky season?

>>215891873
how dare you racist bastard

>>215891817
sort of like the average /brit/ poster then but without the mating part

>>215891906
I feel like a lot of /brit/ posters were never that close with their mother sadly and didn't get enough nurturing

turns out that whole story of Polanski making women’s tits bigger via hypnotism was a lie

mad how true this is

>>215891873
https://www.conservatives.com/contact
Ask them directly, not like you have anything else to do.

need a poo

>>215891885
christmas tree should go up christmas eve and come down january 5th
12 days
simple as

>>215891927
ktim

>>215891897
ringu, the ring, the shining, mama, hereditary

>>215891886
yeah would be fun to have a super smart orangutan in a suit and trilby hat doing the housework, geneticists should work on that and BTFO the people who are trying to make AI android slaves

>>215891957
yeah but only if you're black

Hate myself and want to die

>>215892009
that’s strange cos I’m a white man and have had that loads of times

morning connor

think my life peaked in 2012 when i was 15 and spent whole nights staying awake playing dayz (when it was still an arma2 mod) with friends
down hill since

>>215891961
Loooool absolutely raging aha

>>215891996
mental the tree goes up december first then removed in late janurary, who does christmas decorations on christmas eve it should already be done by then

>>215892026
what you've specifically said something like that to women

>>215891897
ju-on
noroi
grave encounters

>>215892026
yeah after slipping them a 50 LOL

>>215892044
yeh slept with 80 women me

alexa youtube video u13 wrestling competition u12 u14 lightweight wrestling

nth for the gyaldem

>>215891897
I like the classics.
From the 30s - Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man.
The Hammer films, starting with Quatermass.
Stuff with Vincent Price like House of Usher, Masque of the Red Death, Dr Phibes, Theatre of Blood.
But my favourite is probably Herzog's Nosferatu.

https://x.com/thegriftreport/status/1978725096929014140

Tommy and Farige DONT want you to see this

>>215892044
>who does christmas decorations on christmas eve
that's literally the tradition you heathen

Mental how quickly the stakes of life can change. Was happily walking to work, neo-folk blaring in my headphones and all of a sudden I feel that characteristic tickle in my lower intenstine, and the almost irresistible relaxing of my anus. Within seconds my leisurely stroll had turned into a panicked fight for survival, palms and forehead sweating, my entire body shaking and aching. Was another thirty minutes between that first pulsating ache, and my planting my trembling buttocks upon a toilet. Feeling shellshocked, like I've just survived a violent assault

I'm addicted to this awful website and although I disagree with the government trying to ban it, it will ultimately be good for me (which is bad for them)

>>215892057
fucks sake it's you i recognize you and go on then what did you say to them which revealed the competitiveness

>>215891996
nah

>>215892059
Umm

>>215892076
Okay I won't look then

>>215892104
Stay asleep cattle

>>215892082
you have weird traditions in samoa
we celebrate christmas time the normal way

>>215892082
Is that Jimmy McGill?

a video games man has died. there's a sticky on /v/

>>215892088
whenever a girl goes went to suck my knob I would usually say I can’t cum from it and they always say “I’m gonna make you cum” or “you haven’t had it from me” some shite like that, still never came from it but they do put more effort in

>>215892072
Do you consider Exorcist 3 to be a classic? my absolute favorite.

might eat some toast

>>215892076
Okay, now lets hear his opinion on black crime

>>215892082
well not in my family
>>215892140
you remind me of jay from the inbetweeners
>>215892144
i only saw the first one and found it a bit silly but there were still some kino moments like her doing the walk down the stairs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLbFbc0cA10

also here's a funny version i found of some autistic girl recreating the scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0aXh958brs

>>215892144
Honestly haven't seen it for maybe 20 years so idk maybe I'll rewatch it

Anxiety levels reaching the mesosphere

>>215892188
What does that have to do with what he’s talking about

>>215892215
3 is by far the best. Didn't enjoy the others too much.

>>215892223
boo haha

>>215892215
>well not in my family
>>215892215
>i only saw the first one and found it a bit silly
You are a HEATHEN

>>215892048
never paid for nothing lad I’m saving up a pound a year though for if your mam ever goes live on adultwork

>>215892072
Adjani <3

>>215892223
Why you anxious babe?

Nobody's changing anybody's mind, come on now

>>215892242
then why did i pray for God to bless the bees who made my honey and the beekeeper who keeps them and the wheat farmer for the bread that i ate like ten minutes ago CRETIN

>>215892265
could I change your mind about that?

>>215892255
Problems in every area of my life but too much of an anxious runt to do anything about them so I spend all day refreshing this Chinese cartoon demoralisation website for dopamine hits

>>215892223
Take a chill pill bro

>>215892233
It is all part of the same problem. Anyway, he references dirty money, and laundering.

>>215892215
pretty normal for most Brit lads to have shagged around a lot, most of my group of mates have slept with 20+ girls each some much more than that

>>215892311
ew

I'm gay

>>215892057
Alright I know I chewed you out yesterday but I'm warming to this gimmick

>>215892311
>normal for most Brit lads to have shagged around a lot
Y-yeah haha

>>215892325
Want to be gay together

>>215892339
does it still count as a gimmick if I’m recalling a life experience, I don’t know the rules

>>215892311
That's mental I've never heard of anyone doing this here

>>215889901
>>215889901
>>215889901

>>215892396
I’m not sure how it is now, but the typical British experience was start going to house parties from 15-17, start going clubbing 18-21, go to holidays to party islands like zante, malia etc and the grow out of it after that.

If you tried to make Little Britain today you'd get arrested

>>215892437
no
this one was made first
>>215889908

>>215892452
The world is so shite now

Room for a few more banger posts ITT

>>215892452
No you wouldn't, rorke

>>215892452
what for copyright infringement because you'd just be ripping off an existing series

dua lipa SEX

This thread isn’t 310 yet. Please follow rules

>>215892635
spam it for us then sunshine x

>>215892284
that makes it sound like the manager did it