Thread 215996147

just buy a house lad edish

poo smells lmao

fuck's sake you lot

very interesting game this

men.wikifeet.com/Bradley_Walsh

Going to the shops
Am I bundled up enough?

We’re all on /sp/ btw lads come join

what a fucking fool

some say that he does it for free....and that his smegma is a rare delicacy on a small island off the coast of Fiji.....

all we know is.....we call him LITTLE JANNY HOTPOCKETS

peruANO webms just don't hit anymore like they used to back in the day

>>215996284
it's not 2020 anymore unc

>>215996284
smeghead

>>215996308
'kinell lad

you've got a night of fart toil ahead of you

>>215996232
looking good mate

>>215996147 (OP)
im an incel just rape u

might put Escape to the Country on

I heard someone talk with british accent
day ruined

>>215996308
EIGHT BLOODCLAAT EGG

>>215996284
giggled at this and woke the 'berg
cheers

new creps, thoughts?

>>215996232
looking bee-utiful x

getting raped

Remember I was sitting on the steps outside Heathrow having a fag and I’d just stumped it out when a 45 year old woman came and sat next to me on the steps and said “I’ll come have a smoke with you” and then I said I’ve just finished and got up and left.
In my 23 years of being alive that is the closest I’ve come to having a woman hit on me

>>215996380
looking good, squire

>>215996308
Bulking I see.

>>215996232
sex sex
seeeeeeeeex
>>215996299
thety do that to not self harm
still need a BPD gf

new crepes

>>215996338
cor

>>215996374
clearly 4 eggs actually

>>215996422
haha funny lad

>>215996400
that’s insane jarvis

>>215996413
is this real?

>>215996400
if you could go back in time would you shag her?

>>215996393
should tell the police not us

finally not imagebanned so I can post this

jarvis gpt shag arseing the sex

reckon high court enforcement agents would make good noncehunters

>>215996147 (OP)
I want to shag the neoliberalism out of this thatcherite lass

>>215996465
Obviously but that would never be on the cards I don’t know how to talk to women

Some advice for the down-and-out lads:

Be as fit as you can be...
Be as rich as you can be...
Be as educated as you can be...
Be as worldly as you can be...
...and be as charismatic as you can be

You will get the gf you deserve.

>DISCLAIMER: The gf you deserver might be nogf.

might have a shandy with my dinner

>>215996469
genuinely mindboggling that you were waiting in anticipation to make such a dogshit post

>>215996495
absolutely based big fan of your posts keep them coming

buggering up my life one day at a time

irish wedder

Should the UK government be open that we're a post national state now?

I was just thinking that a major cause of social conflict in the UK is the divide between what the native Anglo Celtic people think of as the country and what the immigrant descended people and ruling class have made the UK in reality. Natives are stuck in the old style way of imagining the nation state as a real nation state that is being a state for a specific people with shared heritage and the justification for the state is to be a home for those people and provide them with security and prosperity.

Now with demographics being what they are with the Anglo Celtic population shrinking at a rapid rate we should especially just be open about the situation we live in. We are nothing other than a market, that is all. The only thing the British state exists for is to serve the GDP line at all costs. We should be open about this and accept we are not a nation just an island with different nations that have been imported to provide Tessco with more customers and Serco with more workers.

I think if we all just admit this it will be much better than trying embarrassingly to create a shared identity between English and Somalis for example as if these people have anything in common just because they have the same passport. Once we accept the state doesn't represent us and it doesn't even pretend to every ethnic group can feel secure in their identity and we can peacefully live in our own communities. Trudeau in Canada is very open about Canada being a 'post national' state and it seems to work over there with everyone accepting they are just people there for economic reasons with no common history and no communal bonds or shared future but we all take part in the economy so they should keep the ship running so they can all keep the gdp growing.
You're currently banned from this community and can't comment on posts.

bees dont live in haves mate they live in hives

>Hundreds of people took to the streets for a town’s annual bonfire celebration. Last night (October 18), the Seaford Bonfire Society hosted the East Sussex town's bonfire and firework display.

bit early, no?

>>215996513
me furiously shaking my tootsie to God after I die in order to get into heaven

>>215996517
catbergs are so funny

Friendly reminder that anime is for nonces

going to save my justeat credit until places start releasing cheeky christmas menus

Presumably all this noncery is extremely funny if you're a 30 something shutin virgin?

might conjugate a verb

>>215996588
corrr roast dinner delivery is it

>>215996588
my local indian does a turkey kebab

do shaggers really?
/sp/ is far too normie
must stay here with my fellow incels

>>215996588
you should save up for a clue

it's raining out so I might support the local brown population by ordering off the uber eats

got e45 on my knob

>>215996608
i dont know what youe mean

>>215996632
wonder who this is in real life (the less preferable girl)

>>215996632
she's stealing shinonome umi's look

>>215996642
good man
>>215996647
good man

united are winning this I'm telling you lad

wish I weren't autistic so I could have a cute brown gf who'd make curries and that

mental how Guinness was created by anglos

new insta just dropped

I wonder what John Liverpool's gonna do about his team's lacklustre performance so far. Steve Manchester United has him figured out

>>215996683
Most things were as it were

hmmm

>>215996682
brown women love SSAC

box of wine has leaked all over the fridge

anyone got that photo of the man with the mad hairline bringing a toast?

Crow outside being very vocal

>>215996707
true

>>215996552
Traditionally in Sussex the bonfire celebrations go on throughout October, they actually predate Guy Fawkes Night.
Lewes Bonfire is the biggest one.

for fuck's SAKE rorke

>mfw little incels in their safe space character thread
come hang out on /sp/ lads we’re all there right now

Sir Michael Wycombe Wanderers

Live stream from the Namibian desert, Zebras standing around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydYDqZQpim8

>>215996761
How many more times you gonna ask

>>215996718
no m8. i've got a picture of a lad a glastonbury this year clearly out of his mind on some kind of drug, if that's any good?

>>215996774
wonder if anyones ever shagged one

might go to bed early tonight, seeing as I'm a boring freak who has nothing else to do

>>215996824
good man

>>215996774
good post

>>215996707
done 'em like a gaggle of kippers

>>215996788
That'll do. thank you

>>215996774
The lads

>>215996808
see >>215996787

pork chops are about to hit the george foreman

>>215996774
FACT: Zebras evolved black and white stripes to confuse the tsetse fly and other disgusting parasites making them immune to them, so some herders in Africa have started painting cows with black and white paint to generate the same effect.

>>215996869
smart aren't they, Africans

was posting here earlier lads I’m the virgin freak who’s going to lose his virginity with a really pretty girl tonight, I’m leaving to meet her in 30 minutes absolutely bricking it but we’ve been building up to this for 2 months now

>>215996881
nah the Japanese told them to do it
behave
you know they don't invent anything that isn't a bone through the nose

>>215996890
love her
very cute and fit body
big fan of how much the current crop of pop girlies sexualise themselves

>>215996890
absolutely despise modern pop culture me

>>215996887
how old are you?

>>215996922
29

Utterly mental to think that this is sacked tranny

>>215996887
pro-tip: just before you head out, peel back your foreskin and spritz some aftershave directly on your glans
women love it and also it makes you last longer

>>215996914
sabby c rules the world

>>215996887
Where are you going to have sex

no cap

>>215996865
lean mean flavour-robbing machine

update: a hooded crow just spooked off the herd of zebra by saying corr

>>215996939
nah dua lipa does
followed by Addison Rae
and then Clairo as a matter of fact

find it hilarious how posh people stay posh when they're angry
can't take them seriously at all

>>215996922
27, I thought it was over
>>215996948
We are going to eat and then I’m going back with her to stay at her house tonight, I’ve already been there last week but we haven’t had sex yet and this is my first time

>At a planetary science meeting in Helsinki, scientists from the Austrian Academy of Sciences report that the nearest technological civilisation in the Milky Way could be about 33,000 light-years away. Their modelling suggests that such civilisations would need to last for at least 280,000 years to coincide in time with humanity

that's pretty far lads

we need to save woke

>>215996939
british parents let their 10 year old daughters watch and imitate this and see nothing wrong with that

>>215996964
i don't find chavs particularly intimidating when they're angry either to be fair

>>215996973
imagine believing in space bollocks

>>215996939
Wet patch

>>215996749
based

>>215996998
and in the 50s they let their kids watch elvis wiggle his hips, get over it rorke

windows closed
heating on

>>215997008
touched a nerve have i cuthberto? bet you're jolly upset with me aren't you, jolly upset indeed

>>215996939
is this real or is it AI making her vagoo lips here?

got covid

can't keep my eyes open

>>215997047
don't die

voltando pra casa agora

>>215996973
Tried explaining the problem of timescales to my uncle who is a die hard believer in aliens and he called me ignorant

>>215996971
is it her first time too?

>>215997040
funny how the word chav has you fuming

>>215996971
Nice mate you got your plan of action all sorted then?

>>215997047
it's not 2020 anymore unc

>>215997048
don't die

Just one in ten Somalis in the UK are in full-time employment.

Astonishing.

>>215997031
energyberg having his way with you

>>215996998
what exactly is wrong with it?
you're not bent are you?

>>215997075
yeah that's exactly how i've reacted isn't it. funny though how you've just shat your arse and then fucked your own mum

>>215996973
Completely arbitrary nonsense without actual data

>>215997083
so what rorke

Wish I could turn off my brain for the day. Flip a switch and stop thinking and feeling. Sleep works but I'm not tired.

chavs are utter vermin no better thing niggers

cocks go black tonight lads

>>215997083
get them housed

>>215997083
yet 10 out of 10 somalis will have children in their lifetime unlike english spackers

>>215997071
It’s not her first time, she’s too pretty to have kept her virginity I think lol. She’s been really nice about it though.
>>215997076
No plan of action, I’m going to just go in there and go for it like a mad dog I suppose lol. As long as my virginity is taken that’s the main thing I couldn’t live like this much longer

I reckon most people on /brit/ were like jay from the inbetweeners at school

>>215997114
it's the 26th

>>215997133
fuck off spaedo

>>215997113
eh?

>>215997031
ktim

>>215997008
Middle class brits confirmed as the hardmen of britain

>>215997109
*heems you into a coma*

>>215997136
more like wills who turned racist

>>215997133
well done now you live in somalia

which EPL team should i become a fan of? leaning towards the gooners or the spurs

>>215997102
2 sentences to my 1 and you've become incoherent
guffaw

>>215997179
GOOOONEEEEEERS GGOOOONEEEERS

>>215997179
if you like blacks and leftist politics then absolutely pick the gooners! If you don’t, literally anyone else is fine

>>215997134
Bloke I knew didn’t have a plan on his first time, went in too quick broke his knob in half. You need a plan

>>215997102
*puts a fork in you*
yeah this one's done lads

>>215997083
too many
frankly its disgusting that 1 out of every ten feel forced to work as a refugee
we need ten million more somalis housed and on the dole YESTERDAY

>>215997188
not sure how that's incoherent. think you're projecting because of this >>215997113 post 1 minutes 2 seconds after your post before?

WHERE'S YOUR TOOL?

first time i had sex the girl asked if it was my first time after we finished. i was a late bloomer (16) so i lied and said no of course. but how did she know?

Need word with rorke.
In private.

>>215997179
BRENTFORD

THE MIGHY BEES

>>215997179
Brighton (they play at the "American Express Stadium" :O) or Burnley (American Mormon owners)

>>215997228
deary me try again Kyrees

leftypol giving his life savings to the eritrean who beheaded his trans gender kid

might get a pizza for dindins

>>215997265
oh my god! a screenshot! how many years did that take?! you're disproven because of this

>>215997290
don't do it

Never had sex I’m 22 never even kissed a girl or held hands or even hugged
Im too old now anyway. 99% of girls my age have kissed someone im too old now for it to be acceptable to be shit at kissing or sex.
it’s over and I’ve accepted that it’s okay

vindaloo...eaten...poo...loading...rain...pouring...70s/early 80s horror kino...deliberating

Right I’m going to get ready to go now, my last post on /brit/ as a virgin, it’s been a good one lads. FUCK

>>215997308
why not?

I've come here for a fucking shootout, right? A proper shootout with some proper men. Like Colonel Custer and Geronimo, you ever heard of them? No. Cause you were too busy in your pinny baking fucking fairy cakes, weren't ya?

>>215997228
you got me mate

>>215997307
>!
>!
>?!
you're pure fuming aha

>>215997316
they've also been stretched out by athletic men with jungle bbcs and your thin white penis would not touch the sides or come close to satisfying them at this point realistically

Isak's hit the post again lads

>>215997341
alright posho

>>215997346
spaki

>>215997346
Is this true

here's some tekkers for you
while you're air frying your chips, get a small tub of spices mixed up
throw the chips into a mixing bowl, toss with the spices
you do salt pepper paprika onion/garlic powder, you get kfcs signature fries spice

>>215997330
you're stressing too much lad, its only sex

>>215997346
I’m 6.5 inches long but quite thin what do you think

All of /brit/ stands together to wish the best to the lad who is going to lose his virginity tonight

>>215997404
Hope it breaks off

>>215997330
after tonight, you can't post with us
this is a virgin only safe space

>>215997379
put a couple of teaspoons of vegetable oil in aswell and they'll come out like they've been deep fried

>>215997379
that's tekkers manifest
if you've got a pestle and mortar grind it up very finely and it sticks 1000 times better coz of science

had a lovely nap award xx

- Made up a fake Jewish Aston Villa supporters club

- Pretended to be president of the fake Jewish fan club

- Went on TV as the president of the fake Jewish supporters club

- IS NOT EVEN JEWISH

- Now on Twitter talking about ‘hoaxes’ with a straight face

- Is a baldy bellend

>>215997431
posh twat

>>215997417
>>215997431
advanced knowledge
these will be applied on the next batch

>>215997455
how comes

mental there’s fellow posters off out to achieve my dream whilst I rot in my chamber

>>215997453
who, your dad?

>>215997316
Just lie... omg bro. It shouldn't even come up, the first time I shagged a bird I told her after that that was my first time and all she did was playfully slap her hand on my chest and call me a liar. Believe or not most people are nervous the first time they sleep with a new person, unless they're a serial casual sex haver, so don't give me some bullshit like they can tell the difference

>>215997404
*claps* Give em’ hell son

Tell you're mates, not us.

im too maladjusted to have sex, no way i could connect to another human in an intimate way

>>215997457
set my first air fryer on fire making too many chips ive got lots of experience

>>215997530
ktim but for years

*pats you on the shoulder*
put a couple in her for me yeah lad

>>215997528
your*

>>215997529
ktim but I accept it now

>>215997552
A couple what?

mumberg used to always complain about how miserable i made her and would get mad if i brought any girls over

now she's mad i havent given her any grandchildren

what the fuck

imagine being under the age of 40 with a name like Richard or Ian lmao

>>215997558
got him

>>215997511
I can lie all I want, when I kiss a girl she’ll be able to tell I’ve never kissed anyone before, if I have sex with a girl she’ll be able to instantly tell I’m a virgin.
You just don’t get it

>>215997563
same plus I've completely checked out of life

>>215997576
parents named me erskine which is terrible at any age desu

>>215997529
I've had sex many times and this is now me

salmon for tea x

>>215997576
my old manager was in his early 30s and called Richard

was a right dick

hahaha

>>215997583
why even care if they can tell

For me? It's choosing deen over dunya, every time.

>>215997569
idk
willies?
not really sure how sex works haha

>>215997618
Embarrassing, awkward

>>215997583
>when I kiss a girl she’ll be able to tell I’ve never kissed anyone before
Not necessarily, kissing isn't difficult
>if I have sex with a girl she’ll be able to instantly tell I’m a virgin.
Not necessarily, fucking is natural and you should be able to find a rhythm if you don't have cerebral palsy

>>215997583
>You just don't get it
Yeah I came out of the womb having kissed and shagged girls, you thick bastard. Kissing is not that hard lad watch a fucking guide on YouTube

>>215997379
>kfcs signature fries spice
kfc fries always taste like bland soggy shit though

>>215997570
call her a trilobite

>>215997636
for you figure out why it bothers you then get over it

>>215997655
incorrect, they changed their chips a couple of years ago and now they're peng

>>215997655
they tasted nice in the early 2000s

>>215997576
my name is Oseiwe like I'm some uncle from the village kmt

>>215997681
truth nuke

hello i like eating mashed potatoes

Remember the first time I popped my knob inside some gash and I had a Danny Devito "I get it" moment and millions of years of ancestral memories came to me in a millisecond, and I fucked the shit out that Chav slapper until she was convulsing on me knobber. It really aint hard and Im only 6.5"

Coffee

>>215997642
> Yeah I came out of the womb having kissed and shagged girls
Obviously never read my original post then did you, like I said you don’t get it

>>215997686
Fuck off black cunt youre not welcome here. Sickening

bust holes

I like the old Burger King chips like 20 years ago
Not had BK since they got shitty chips in
>>215997686
How do you pronounce that then

>>215997686
ogun wey kill dey papa

>>215997681
could be the case i haven't had them in yonks

>>215997701
imagine being 30 year olds and not having experienced the basics like this LMAO it’s like not having eaten before

>>215997713
ah you're right actually and it's over for you, wouldn't worry myself thinking about kissing or having sex with women anymore guess should stop worrying about it now

>>215997744
RDS is rife

>>215997713
I replied to your original post. Youre mentalceling yourself because youre too fucking scared to get a little bit embarassed - you deserve to be a virgin at this point. Sex is funny, it isnt always like in movies or porn, you can have a good shag and laugh off the fumbling awkwardness. God youre pathetic, wish I could rape you myself

fancy some chips now

>>215997701
I assume without a condom
It’s kind of meh with a condom

grew up reading and writing wingdings only learned proper English when I was 19

>>215997744
reminds me of when they did covid stuff haha

To be British all you have to do is support Israel according to Tommy. That's the only criteria.

Protests are meant to be the voices of the unheard. Yet these protests are the voices of those who never shut up.

has anyone else noticed that there's clearly this one guy in this thread who literally spend his entire day trying to post stuff that will upset virgins and incels and stuff? it's bizarre as fuck

>>215997744
Upsets me that his name is a Red Dwarf reference, not a surprise though since 99% of people who like that show are libshit boomers and Craig Charles literally got his start doing racially woke slam poetry.

Salah's just missed a sitter
its officially over

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit you can no longer join our Club or pick up a Penguin, as the lunchbox favourites have reduced the amount of cocoa in their recipe so much they are now only “chocolate flavour”.

Club and Penguin can no longer be described as chocolate biscuits as they contain more palm oil and shea oil than cocoa, as first reported by the trade journal The Grocer.

“We made some changes to McVitie’s Penguin and Club earlier this year, where we are using a chocolate flavour coating with cocoa mass, rather than a chocolate coating. Sensory testing with consumers shows the new coatings deliver the same great taste as the originals,” the McVitie’s owner, Pladis, said in a statement.

>>215997795
I've never used a condom - caught genital warts cause of it

>>215997837
Wow conservatives aren’t creative.. who would’ve thought?

>>215997855
my bet is offically fucked

it has a consistency for sure. my wifes shit is long solid/creamy snakes usually and theyre very warm and pleasant to use for masturbation

>>215997837
>Craig Charles literally got his start doing racially woke slam poetry.
Blimey, would never expect that from a Wog-Irish Liverpudlian

>>215997888
Brighton, right?

>>215997866
I’ve also caught that a few times lol, used apple cider vinegar to burn them off

>>215997857
saw this article yesteday, what a fucking joke

wish vesper was my gf

>>215997896
Eastbourne

>>215997837
chris barrie is based though

mad how girls my age give me disgusted looks when they see me

>>215997905
Lol same mate ACV and one of those freezing kids (not knob safe mind you)
Sometimes check over my todger with a light at angles and see little bumps and worry theyre warts but apparently those are sabaceous glands and are normal

>>215997866
barebacked a roma prozzer once and got away sti free
lesson learned waking up the next morning remembering what i did

>>215997918
seen her pusy

>>215997857
>Sensory testing with consumers shows the new coatings deliver the same great taste as the originals
utter bollocks

>>215997966
Did you cum in her

>>215997927
Nah ain't Eastbourne, I've spent many months around that town. It's definitely Brighton west pier which makes the image even more absurd

>>215997857
biscuits gone woke

>>215997990
think so
i was absolutely blootered though so could be anywhere

>>215997968
where

>>215997870
Well we certainly won't be a creative nation when we are >50% muslim and music alongside any art depicting people is banned. But you don't complain about THOSE sorts of conservatives.

>>215996534
Thats what the united states is
Just an economic zone run by a banking cartel with a military to intervene on their behalf around the world

no blacks no irish no dogs

Eating sour plums with a knife. Something ye olden timey about cutting fruit into chunks with a little pocket knife and sucking the juice off the blade

>>215997971
in reality it was "it doesnt taste worse enough that sufficient people will stop buying to offset the reduced cost of manufacture"

>>215997962
I never used the freezing kit just ACV and it worked, my Willard has been absolutely covered in warts a few times. But the vinegar would melt them off, do wonder if it made me less sensitive though lasting damage and that

>>215998021
Quite based really

dogs and dog owners are fucking annoying

In mafia movies, the irish and italian mobs are always depicted as being at war with each other
In reality this only happened in boston

>>215997896
Ye west pier
>>215997888
This is actually quite a good shot, would be better with a white family for the contrast in grim vs good but full on grimness with the 'kis isn't so bad either

>>215998037
so are you just dipping your knobule in it or what?

>>215998045
For the jewish banking cartel that runs the united states and presides over the goy slave masses it is based
For me not its not so based

>>215998052
fuck off rasheed

>>215998012
in some french movie
https://www.erome.com/a/HDsUGQdX

>>215998052
'sheed

>>215997888
Yookay vibes

Any Wessex lads here?

>>215998068
I used to soak a tissue in the vinegar and wrap that around my cock, leave for an hour or so

noodles for tea

>>215998081
>>215998083
I'm white
I don't even hate dogs really, just find them annoying, hate how loud and attention-seeking they are

>>215998104
ktim
indomie with some spicy pork and a fried eggbert on top

>>215998111
They are when they are puppies but as they grow older they settle down

catberg > dogberg

>>215998082
now THAT is ticketyboo
looks like a photo i have of my ex gf

mad how no one's ever seen a cat's willy

>>215998111
for me it's the people who buy extremely needy dogs then leave them at home alone all day while they go to work. then they think it's "cute" how happy the dog is when they get home

>>215998111
good thing you’ll never have kids then

Gonna post some goebbels quotes about america and americans in the next thread
Although he wrote them in the 1930s they are still accurate in AD 2025

>>215998111
properly trained and cared-for dogs aren't like that

Love pretty much all critters and creatures
:) :) :)

>>215998190
i think we'd all prefer if you didn't charlie

>>215998166
This post blew my mind

>>215998213
One is never sure which of two characteristics is more prominent in the American national character and therefore of the greater significance: naivete or a superiority complex. When for example they say things about our region, our surprise at their ignorance is surpassed only by annoyance at their stupid insolence. The less they know about a matter, the more confidently they speak. They really believe that Europeans are eagerly waiting to hear from them and heed their advice. They took our strategic decision not to discuss their shallow culture before the war as a sign of admiration. Their greatest technical accomplishments are refrigerators and radios. They cannot believe that there are cultural values that are the result of centuries of historical development, which cannot simply be bought. It was no bad joke when, after the war, they bought the ruins of German castles and moved them stone by stone to the U.S.A. They really thought that they had purchased a piece of national history embodied in stone, and were naive enough to think that mocking laughter from Europe was respect for the wealth that enabled them to buy what their own tradition and culture lacked.

asked for a vesper on BA first and they couldnt make it
what a disgrace

>>215998222
not reading all that

>>215998210

no one care me

some game this

A book by Scottish author Eric Linklater titled Juan in America has just appeared in German translation. With few words but deadly irony, it holds the mirror up to the Yankees. One must read this book, which takes place in the postwar period, to rightly understand the Americans. Recently the American press claimed that Americans were of the opinion that General Rommel learned his military techniques, admired throughout the world, from the Americans. General Lee used his cavalry in the same way Rommel used his tanks. One does not know whether to be astonished or contemptuous at this naive and stupid idea. In any event, it is genuinely American and one can give odds of 10:1 that most Americans are firmly convinced that it is so.

>>215998245
ur bets still on

>>215998223
where you flying from

>>215998267
>>215998267
>>215998267

got oodles of noodles for my poodles

>>215998253
shut the fuck up you fucking cunt

>>215998283
heathrow

>>215998297
dogs cant eat noodles