Thread 216024791

Britain. You're invited. edition

>>216024791 (OP)
You don't have to be invited to a funeral

>>216024791 (OP)
invited to fuck off

Fucking sick of it lad

When I look in the mirror I kind of look like a shagger but on camera I look like a disgusting mutant freak

YOURE NOT INVITED for any outer /int/ers who happen to see this

>>216024791 (OP)
get this on a big billboard in dover

>>216024771
Today you've accused me of not being able to drive, being a virgin, and not having a social life outside of scurrying home to go on the internet, and all three are baseless assumptions that aren't true.

>>216024836
mental how it seems to be shagging season right now. Keep seeing people lose their virginity on here and a few of my friends have lost theirs recently too

>>216024865
they are true

t. knower

>>216024821
think you do actually
in fact I reckon a funeral is one of the nastiest possible places to crash

Total distance walked was 6.5km, with an ascent of 300m. I'm a fat bastard, so I'm pleased with myself.

we're in this together

Reminder: it’s virginity shedding season lads

have a good afternoon lads
i think i can find something better to do than scroll through this shithouse all afternoon

>>216024865
>Today you've accused me of not being able to drive, being a virgin, and not having a social life outside of scurrying home to go on the internet, and all three are baseless assumptions that aren't true.

>>216024898
see any small boats? hope you brought the harpoon gun

>>216024614
was the first pizza place I ate at, but not had them in years. it's mad. I recently ordered in a papa johns cause they were closing down shops round the country and wanted a bit of theirs before they went away for good and now pizza hut might be leaving the country

Please don't let this turn into a thread long argument about whether you need to be invited to funerals or not (you obviously don't)

Not surprised about pizza hut restaurants closing desu. The only people who order pizza in a restaurant are children and the working class who have got a cost of living crisis now

>>216024911
yet you feel the need to announce this to us, your only social outlet

spiking the funeral food with ketamine

It's tough being one of the few British people into baseball.

Only ever remember going to pizza hut as a child and I remember it absolutely MOGGING dominoes

>>216024932
>The only people who order pizza in a restaurant are children
Children do not order pizzas in a restaurant

>>216024932
fairly certain italians make very nice pizzas

am bottom

>>216024916
Literally thousands, hundreds of cuckolds were on the beach on their knees at the sight

gonna crash rorkes funeral
by dressing up as a vantablack nigger

Just ordered a pizza at the Pakistani restaurant

>>216024959
:/

Guys if I’m going to a brand new part of the country to buy a car from someone where would I test drive it because I’ve never been to the area before??

>>216024931
so would you just turn up at random funerals then? bit of a laugh is it?

rorke's mrs running off with the hyperblack looky looky man on holiday in tenerife

get the Dubai pizzas on the menu
get the tables filled

>>216024898
looks nice, comfy

>>216024915
>>216024962
>>216024933
nathan

>>216024842
The exec-level guy I used to not report into but my boss reported into was a handsome bloke in his late 40s who was always slipping away early unseen in the afternoon to watch his son's sports games and turning up at like 10am and stuff
My boss is in his 60s, overweight, and routinely goes on about the 15 hour days he used to pull back in the day
Yeah mate worked out that didn't it lol
The slave work ethic in a nutshell. Best part is my boss doesn't even care if I leave early if I did all my work for that day as long as I can quickly deal with something remotely if it's still during working hours. I spend maybe 5-6 hours at work meanwhile this sad lad with his fucking philosophy degree (lol) is busting his own ass up for no reason other than he's got nothing else going on in his life. Truly miserable and entirely self-inflicted no less

>>216024990
an english male wrote this post

>>216024977
>Just ordered a pizza at the Pakistani restaurant
This often includes Domino's and Papa John's which are FRANCHISES and often owned by Pakis btw

what was the leak

nth for the gyaldem

>>216024999
Missed the greentext but yk what I mean

Who in British politics do you reckon had a massive cock?

>>216025016
basically just people arguing on a zoom call, left wing traitors have fuck all left so they're just trying to kill reform

won't work though because the party who are most anti immigration will win

>>216025041
Boris unironically

>>216024951
Yeah because they've closed

>>216024836
I look like a 2/10 on camera and 5/10 in the mirror. I take camera as truth

>>216025041
kwasi kwarteng, he turned liz truss singlehandedly into a BBC-only snowbunny around the time of the 2022 'fiscal event' that ended her short premiership

>>216025041
bill cash

My gf used to order pizza from the children's menu

>>216024935
is ketamine actually any good it always sounds a bit rubbish when people describe it

>>216025046
how do we get the public to open their eyes to Israeli control and government fraud

>>216025090
Um

>>216024985
>so would you just turn up at random funerals then?
Only Fools and Horses did an entire episode about people who do this btw

>>216025090
they are basicaly children

tranny wank on the cards

>>216025079
an english male wrote this post

I also would have guessed boris has a big ccin

>>216025041
Owen Jones

>>216024999
Do you drink wine during lunch

>>216025099
nobody gives a fuck about any of that anymore

it's anti immigration or nothing else

kick all muslims out or the country dies, nobody gives a fuck anymore

Sir Small Penis

I need sex

>>216025109
that’s just nathan, he’s easily dismissed

>>216025135
but they should

If someone calls you a nonce in public what is the correct response?

If you attack them you look like a nonce, if you deny it you look like a nonce, if you debate them you look like a nonce

>>216025116
domino's makes 4x the revenue pizza hut generates

>>216025137
good morning saar

>>216025155
"yeah im a nonce"

>>216025155
Totally context dependent.

>>216024791 (OP)
>You're invited
And you're invited
And you're invited
and everyone's invited!

memories from the last time you ate in a pizza hut?

>>216025155
Call them a nonce

I went for a walk today

>>216025155
Once seen a Goth in Blackpool call a fat man a nonce and then the fat guy brutally started beating and stomping on him screaming "I have four kids you faggot"

Seemed to be a socially acceptable option

>>216025155
Put on a slavic accent and say "so you think all immigrants are paedophiles?"
Works every time

>>216025155
"Call the police then you daft cunt, prove it"

>go with workers' critique, everyone on the left agrees until I mention "pandemic" and sometimes even communism
>go with the right, they only agree on the "pandemic" issue

Such is the weight of being historically consicous

>>216025164
papa johns makes 1.8 x the revenue of pizza hut

>>216025181
A man walks up to you in a city centre and starts shouting "that man is a convicted pedofile" and recording you

>>216025107
She's 20 now and doesn't do it anymore thank god. It was pre COVID and she had stopped once they reopened the restaurants again

>>216025211
lmao

based, they’re all getting sent back

>>216025155
laugh

>>216025232
So you're pro the blackening of Ireland, or is your issue with migration solely related to workers rights?

tranny porn won't load ffs

>>216025128
No but I eat a baguette while patting the local cabergés
Meanwhile my colleague answers emails while eating. What a life.

>>216025216
>>216025251

I would 100000% assume you are a nonce if that was your response to someone calling you a nonce

>>216025246
''''''''''''''''''''

>>216024907
Says who?

>>216025241
I'd pull out my phone, start recording him shouting "This mentally ill homeless man is harassing me, someone call the police"

I need sex

>>216025264
I thought it was illegal to eat at your desk in France

is The Chosen worth watching?

You don't have to worry about made-up scenarios
You can just think about something else

>>216025299
main character dies in the end

idk lads life be like that

Forgot how much the hobbits ruined the lord of the rings trilogy, hate seeing Sam's fat fucking face

>>216025285
everyone’s doing it tbf, this is the time of year girls wanna cuddle and get close

>>216025155
Totally acceptable to batter someone for this and people won't think it makes you look guilty.

>>216025155
a paki woman smugly called charie veitch a nonce and got arrested for a public order offence

>>216025355
reminds you of the mirror does it

>>216025369
>this is the time of year girls wanna cuddle and get close
why's that?

>>216025155
The burden of proof is on the accuser

The n-word

>>216025374
How do you go about it though? Do you instantly hit them the second they call you a nonce or do you dispute what they say then.batter them?

>>216025355
you are afraid of hobbits because their feet are hairy and yours are smooth like a child's

need to be fully paralysed staring at the celing for 10 hours

>>216025295
Not as far as I know. Theoretically you are supposed to have a 30 mins break but that's it.
Older pic of кoт

>>216025369
Well they can fuck off

Niggers tongue my anus

The son of ex-England footballer Stuart Pearce has died in a tractor crash

>>216025388
cold

>>216025403
Instantly sucker punch if they're within arms reach. It's fighting words. Like someone insulting your mother. If you can put them on the floor with a single punch all the better.

my willy is bleeding

Right then that's Soogs with no top on isn't it

>>216025435
Fuck she is fit, where can I find her nudes?

>>216025442
what league does Ex-England play in?

>>216025435
Seen her get spitroasted by two lads

need sex

>>216025413
nous ronronerons

>>216025442
Lol

>>216024791 (OP)
>Britain. You're invited.

>>216025435
Uncanny

>>216025435
>>216025469
People simp for this literal whore?

>>216025435
captain forehead takes a bath

>>216025355
odd opinion

need to be paralysed and jerked off and stare at the celing for 10 hours with some human contact
>>216025484
hiiii! !! (unless you are the parasite)

Right well that's a right well post saying right well isnt it?

What's the next big thing after trannies then?

>>216025486
screm

janny here in a flash for a picture but not for a ban evading cuck spammer very interesting

>>216025502
you don't need to be paralysed for that just break both your arms and get a nurse to do it

>>216025507
Them vitiligo people

>>216025507
ultranationalist muslim slaying

either that or veganism

Sir Ainsley Mousebatten,

>>216025527
not going to do that but I need a nurse to give me a bath UwU
but because she wants to UwU UwU

>>216025016
They said they were born in that town which implies they care about it more than ahmed narwhal born in Shittiholi, Bangladesh (proud british citizen now)

The village nigger

mousenonces years of neet isolation and internet addiction have turned him into a right sexual freak

>>216025507
Satanic communism

My penis is none of your business

manifesting Soogs gf

>>216025435
CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BADDIEDEM

>>216025469
sauce or didn't happen

scranned four scones without even realising it, I was a zombie

>>216025546
I was always like that but now women stopped coming to me
(you are jealous btw)

>>216025551
ill make it my fucking business sunshine

>>216025571
jealous of what exactly?

>>216025582
mousenonce is one sexy bastard

>>216025570
Get him working in a primary school pronto

you may think this has nothing to do with british culture
but I will not be wanking to japanese ladies today

>>216025539
Nice little sponge bath would be lush

>>216024836
This is because your brain is used to seeing your mirror image and compensating for minor imperfections like eye placement being slightly assymetrical.

But in photos you don't have a mirror image, you look like you actually do to others. Your brain is not used to that AND any compensation actually ends up compounding the imperfections since now your brain is trying to fix the wrong side.

>>216025507
LGB

Menthol elves coming back with a vengeance

Paging Commander Mousey
You may post one mouse at the behest of the janitor

>>216025582
of me
>>216025607
need a nettle sponge (and iodine) sponge bath and stomach acid tablets (aluminium hydroxide)

>>216025599
wanking to bri'ish ones instead? slags who say "oi luv get your pecker down my gob"?

>>216024791 (OP)
>Last night at the Proms
>Crufts
>Snooker World Championship at The Crucible
>Wimbledon
>Edinburgh Hogmanay
>Henley Regatta
>Oxford Cambridge Boat Race
>Grand National
>Chelsea Flower Show
>Trooping The Colour
>Sweeps Festival

leftypol eating a woke sandwich

>>216025481
ktim

>>216025652
All banned

>>216025617
Lies
Mirror is how you look to other people
Camera flips and distorts your image

>>216025648
he’s so jealous of you and proves it by talking about you in every thread

>>216025620
need a nettle sponge spongebath with aluminium hydroxide (its OK because of the iodine for doing the immune systems role) but I would never say it in real life...

>>216025570
you just know he heinous

>>216025155
Nonce hunters negatively IDd one of my mates as a target once, went up to him outside Leeds station and asked 'are you david?' and his name actually is david so he said yeah. Then they started the whole 'do you think it's acceptable to meet 14 year old girls' spiel and he started laughing because he immediately realised what had happened and this completely unexpected reaction was immediately enough to convince the nonce stingers to realise they'd got it wrong. They apologised profusely. He then went home and plugged the 14 year old he'd been talking to and none of this ever happened.

>>216025570
Looks like donovan from berserk

>>216025648
Doesn’t sound particularly pleasant if I’m honest with you. Reckon the nettle would sting you to high hell

>>216025516
Nude posters just delete the image before getting jannied

British porn is so grim, vibes are completely off

>>216025648
why would i be jealous of you?

Genuinely love 5 hour youtube videos

POOGRIM

>>216025680
how come you need a nettle sponge spongebath with aluminium hydroxide

>>216025681
you will spend the next 5 hours of your day posting weird shit

you are going to kill yourself in the future lol

>>216025680
what is a nettle sponge

>>216025689
once the tiny hypodermic needles inject you there would be no pain any more :3

lads do any of you believe in my ability to lose my virginity? is it possible?

gf's been gone 24 hours and I've already had five wanks

>>216025481
Reckon we should let this one in or the one with the shower cap on. They seem like right characters

low key best film of the cornetto trilogy if you watch it in your 30s

>>216025709
take it easy

>>216025698
he’s way more intelligent for a start

>>216025709
pot, meet kettle

>>216025697
yeah I don't like it either, hate hearing accents in porn that I hear all the time outside in general

>>216025710
I dont know like some sort of sponge made out of nettles so that it has antihistamiens like sea sponges have iodine (based)

Doing my civic duty. I’m announcing a report. Btw janny I am phone posting so if you ban me for announcing a report I will be back to do the same thing until you ban the belgian poster

>>216025697
Loads of pakis involved in some of the late 2000s stuff filmed up north, some of the grimmer Killergram.com scenes etc especially the dogging ones. I would wager there is a direct pipeline from these people to grooming gangs.

pot, meet nettle

>>216025732
Tell that to rorke, he won't listen

>>216025709
As if he hasn’t spent the last 8 hours doing that already lmao

>>216025716
Yeah lad I believe in you

>>216025742
>>216025734
imagine being so obsessed with this place you actually do this
you will kill yourself

>>216025732
Ive watched it once years ago and thought it was bad. Might give it another go. Suspect you're being deliberately contrarian though

>>216025728
This nigga using brave get his ass

His name isn't Mousenonce. He is Mouseman. Show some FUCKING respect

>>216025775
thanks lad im 33 but theres plenty of time surely

>>216025767
!!
_ horse!!

>>216025735
disagree 2bh

https://x.com/willhaycardiff/status/1980254668602171473
Reform voters showing their intelligence again

feel like every new british tv show of the last ten years has been awful game shows or grim murder stuff

>>216025763
your vibrational energy must be very low to know all this

>>216025685
rollercoaster of a post this

>>216025697
it can be hot if the lass is fairly normal middle class type
the strangest thing i've ever watched related to accents was scottish gay porn, was just too funny to actually wank to

someone posted a British pornstar earlier that was as you say right peng but her name was Joey might as well call her Ross or Chandler ffs nice tits though

>>216025797
you would disagree but I’m telling you as an avid observer that’s the case

As mousey would say, do your civic duty and remember to report the BE flag posts. Make sure he knows he isn’t welcome here

but I would never say it
I would want a spongebath because they want to, because they think im cute
the forbidden love from a nurse >.<

>>216025728
Hope he rapes one of your female relatives

>>216025750
thoughts on ava dalush?

Would you rather your dad was a pedofile who never shagged kids but watched CP or a cuck who used to watch black men fuck your mum while mocking him?

>>216025809
>Anti American
>Protestant heritage
Based

reminder to report the BE flags posts. I already made that post before the other person sent it (but hes based)

British pensioners don’t actually retire they make being a problem their full time jo

>>216025863
an english male wrote this post

i've never seen a muslim or an indian in my town

that one really tickled the bradleyposter

>>216024830
You rapscallion.

>>216025873
spaki specifically

Michelle Moist was fit as fuck in her peak

>>216025834
he's very clever but has a highly disorganised mind

Well that's the salt spray washed skin and hair - time to listen to music and roll around in bed for a few hours.
Applying myself this winter, going to make use of the cold weather to walk as much as I can (I am fat and the heat does a number on me) so hopefully I can run into summer next year with my singular chin held up high!

>>216025867
Anti American but voting for the man who loves America as much as Britain lmaoooooo

>>216025861
What's so funny about this

>>216025834
well you're categorically incorrect. sorry.

>>216025879
i went on the canada subreddit a bit ago and basically every post was complaining about immigrants and DEI

canada's a big place so it's harder to gauge but wouldn't be surprised if the migrant shit was well worse there than here

>>216025882
he seethes about particular posts for ages, especially ones he can’t quite grasp being the shut in we know

>>216025732
Shaun of the Dead is the best one overall, funny and entertaining throughout.
Hot Fuzz has the strongest finale but the first half where all the setups are made drags a bit.
The World's End by contrast is funny and entertaining at the start but fumbles the finale which starts out emotional and them just drags itself to a flashy but boring conclusion.

>>216025879
Never leave your room thats why

>>216025870
yeah leave it on X next time

today i will Report the BE flags posts

>>216025879
Alri Nuqqaqattaquq

>>216025908
saying categorically doesn’t make it true

>>216025944
Good lad

>>216025953
yes it does

Mental how the government hasn't even been forced to explain why they are allowing thousands of low IQ, non educated, non English speaking and sex crazed Asians and Africans into the country on a weekly basis while also housing them and giving them benefits

Madness

spaki vocaroos are grim, has a proper nasally neekvoice
paints quite the picture

>>216025936
lol did you see it?

neoliberal meal

>>216025967
subjective

>>216025969
They have already explained rorke it's called human rights

>>216025944
Report them for what

Learning about very big voids in space where there is virtually nothing at all and imagining some kind of parallel Milky Way in one of these voids where there are humans but they are the literal ONLY conscious beings for hundreds of billions of light years in any direction

>>216025982
categorically incorrect

>>216025988
extremely low quality/spamming/flooding/trolling outside of /b/

>>216025262
>the blackening of Ireland

Ah yes, a totally believable threat.

>>216025903
how is he clever. nothing he says even makes sense

>>216025922
Hot fuzz is consistently good. For me its the best

listening to Beastie Boys they kinda cringe ngl

>>216025988
Call to raid, his phrases are how he signals to heatherpaedo

Neoliberal glory

Mental how you spend all day raging about immigration on the unemployed incel forum. You know we aren’t politicians right? Bitching to us isn’t going to change anything. Email your local MP or shut the fuck up you little faggot

>>216025990
Need these voids filled with boatloads of young men from africa and the middle east

>>216025992
oh you’re a retard! very good

>>216025969
You want Starmer to write an essay on Twitter about it, yeah?

I like having sex with older women but NOT single mothers.

>>216025996
>>216026006
Okay thank you

>>216025984
What human rights would those be?

>>216026015
i accept your concession

>>216025997
20-25% of Ireland are immigrants mate, the fuck are you on about?

>>216025969
they have the mandate of the masses, biomasses to be exact

>>216026038
categorically?

>>216025481
when i see this picture i see a line going up and it makes me hopeful for the future of europe

Emailing my local Labour MP to see if she'll stop the brown people coming over
I'll let you know how I get on

>>216026020
Yeah

>>216026058
Good boy

>>216026021
i say this and then i remember that i'm also around 30

>>216026058
Just discovered my local Labour MP is in fact a brown woman

>>216026047
yh

The jannies on this board are fucking worthless

>>216025969
Its been explained, wage growth suppression

>>216026091
subjective

>>216026091
not that anon but Fhf is that u

>>216025969
The nhs would collapse. Old people would disappear in a puff of smoke or something.

>>216026021
>>216026079
Finally a cartoon that appeals to my sensibilities

>>216026119
And the downsides?

>>216026118
...yh

>>216026002
sometimes it does, he knows a lot about medicine and chemistry but like i say disorganised and prone to mentioning chemical compounds which outright don't exist

>>216026093
unlike those worthy jannies on...

>>216026133
nose hungry?

>>216026141
Struggling to answer.

Neighbourbergs arguing
Wonder if he'll kill her

>>216026137
>he knows a lot about medicine and chemistry
dont think he does actually

what soup do i make off the soup tier list next lads
already made gazpacho

>>216026178
Not on there but try lohikeitto seriously it's top

>>216026132
Your gran dies at 85 instead of 95

>>216026178
Pho

>>216025863
Why wouldn't they simply phrase it as "are you in favour of Britain remaining part of the EU?"

>>216025846
Insane body

>>216026178
clam chowder
never had it, always thought it sounded nice

MouseGOD gets the runt cage shaking like it’s 1999

>>216026178
>Grandma's chicken
Both my grandmas died when I was very young and I never got to experience grandma time

>>216026041
Probably closer to 45%, at this rate by 2756 there won't be an irish to sample.

Pooberg punishing me for a week off booze, weed and terrible diet

>>216026235
he seems to have the biggest runt meltdowns out of everyone ngl

>>216026178
For me it's French Onion

>>216026178
Where is Gulash?

>>216026178
I utterly reject the idea of noodles in soup. Ramen is not soup

>>216026252
categorically?

>>216026245
dunno why you're joking, the numbers appear to be 22% as of last year, 22% born abroad, how the fuck are irish people not rioting like up north?

Pooing.

Might wank to some you-know-whats

>>216026178
korean cold noodle soup for me thanks

>>216024836
Most phone selfie cameras have shorter focal lengths, which distort the face. You need to hold the phone away at an ideal distance for things to look closer to reality.

>>216026178
oxtail is best

>>216026288
>how the fuck are irish people not rioting
Same reason we aren't

Brits out
Blacks in
Simple as, so

>>216026319
there have been riots in england though, and the sentiment is clear as day, I don't hear much from Ireland regarding that desu

ill make borscht cause i dont know where to get clam juice to make clam chowder
and dont say your mum

>>216026341
I always make vegetarian borscht. Putting meat into seems odd

>>216026341
your nan

>>216026277
that's bizarre
what about semolina dumplings, where do you draw the line?

Eating goylash

Why didn't he want to make pho wtf

>>216026288
Riot why?

>>216026379
that would be clam powder

>>216026178
Borscht is a fun one to riff on but beetroots are a bit out of season
Pumpkins too but if you're yankified like that you could buy one of the ones they put out for halloween and carve it

>>216026392
immigration is a capitalist scheme to make you poorer

Get it made, Rorke

>>216026395
Raucously laughing directly into a minstrels visage

>>216026341
im gonna wait till you're asleep then wank all over your face m8

>>216026288
>>216026319
>>216026333
They rioted in Dublin not that long ago, the worst in a hundred years. Asylum centres were burned across the country. Am I talking to bots? How do you not remember this

get the bloody bhenchodding new made

>>216026391
I'm going to say old mate is going through a european repertoire first
Though phở is essentially a euro style consommé dolled up with some asian ingredients

>>216026451
hot

Walked to tesco and that fit goth was working
Kept my head down and didn’t even look her way though.

Are we having a go at each other for being racist or not being racist enough

>>216026526
>>216026526
>>216026526

>>216026494
im not joking when i say i did not hear about this, i heard about the NI ones but not those

>>216026546
>>216026546
>>216026546
NW

>>216026536
Shitpost edish without /brit/ in the title.

>>216026178
Wheres the Mulligatawny?

>>216026494
To be fair I only here of incidents of lads taking it to illegals in Ireland. Roughing them up and telling them they're not welcome. Not seen that in the news in England