Thread 216322438

totally normal car edition

>>216322438 (OP)
post the full vlip

shaggin me bird

"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you."

Rorkes calendar omds

>>216322433
no the company is always hiring and I get a commission for bringing people in to the entry level positions

>>216322490
You aren’t who replied to me

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bro is overselling it now

Explore your perks with Shell GO+

>>216322511
you're out of your mind

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#TheNationsNetwork

>>216322548
No I’m not it was a Canadian

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Get the small boats ON our shores
Get the migrants IN our women

it shower time

>>216322438 (OP)
I don't like the look of that car.

Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.

>>216322562
Nurse!

Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched

Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid

i feel it in my willy
i feel it in my bum
so if you really love me
go on and let me cum

>>216322608
I see what you did now
>>216322482
I will do anything but I don’t have any skills

>>216322637
lazy git

hate driving the first thing in the morning, specially when it’s dark
it not right

>>216322676
Love it
Love speeding
Love flashing slow drivers
Love undertaking
Love tailgating
Love brake checking dickheads

>>216322745
why did they put a bird in men’s clothing

>>216322745
um please leave me alone

>>216322257
>What is the root cause of your depression?
Never having had a gf at 29. No friends.
I don't do drugs and barely drink. I buried these feelings for years but now they're coming back. Yes I have posted on here about being a virgin since I was 26, I decided to try and change it.

I feel sick inside. It's like seeing an escort has poisoned me, when it should have helped me. I feel like a husk.

Job for the council wagie in the morning it 4 nicer x

a ba ba bird bird bird bird is the word

Shouldn't you be spending time with your wife and kids? or dont you have those in the UK

I bought these dehumidifier bags so I don’t get condensation on my windows in my bedroom. DOESNT FUCKING WORK
95% of the window is dripping wet still, the bottom 5% where the bag is the only bit that isn’t

>>216322818
just open the window you moron

>>216322810
my wife is my right hand and my kids got flushed down the toilet an hour ago

Forgot to give catberg his breakfast and he's gone absolutely mental

>>216322810
at toil, need to provide and whatnot

>>216322831
The window is open you stupid fucking cunt

>>216322848
hell hath no fury like a catberg scorned

>>216322857
me to the fly that keeps banging into the window

dad said my room smells like hampsters

be tee dubs what’s the talk about a civil war in the uk about then, you lot gearing up for something?

weighed in at 77.4kg this morning, success!

>>216322938
some people think there will be a race war but nothing will happen

>>216322938
Apparently.
Ant Middleton is ex special forces and a minor celebrity here

>>216322857
calm down dear

>>216322848
https://gofile.io/d/lKwyCI

>>216323004
spastics

>>216323004
this is very cringe

>>216323010
mental how this guys entire career is based off telling women to pipe down

I hired some peasant tradie to do a menial task that was below me, and when we were squaring finances at the end, he asked if I'd like to give a tip; to which I said
>Yeah, get a real job
and closed the door on that cuckolds face lol

jamaica? I hardly knew 'er!

>>216323031
Standby soldier!!

>>216323016
not a fucking chance in hell

when i was a pooroid living in a damp house these were the only things which actually sucked up the water
and a big electric dehumidifier

>>216323118
yeah I had them when I had a damp flat, filled up quick

grim how basically every house or flat in this country is damp as shit

I like to drink the collected water afterwards, it's extra zesty

>>216323118
Yeah but you have to keep buying refills for them these bags are reusable

>>216323152
they're reusable because they're shite and barely work

not a fan of albanians

would anyone like to buy any souls or sell theirs to me?

The hairy ball theorem of algebraic topology (sometimes called the hedgehog theorem)[1] states that there is no nonvanishing continuous tangent vector field on even-dimensional n-spheres.[2][3] For the ordinary sphere, or 2‑sphere, if f is a continuous function that assigns a vector in R3 to every point p on a sphere such that f(p) is always tangent to the sphere at p, then there is at least one pole, a point where the field vanishes (a p such that f(p) = 0)

my last flat developed a serious damp problem, it was starting to get black mould and you could feel the floorboards under the lino in the bathroom were soft like they were saturated with water
of course I mentioned none of this when I moved out aha

>>216323231
doen your tax yet mate?

>>216323244
Just open your window ffs rorke

>>216323231
nice try beelzebub

>>216323244
ktim
bathroom was absolutely ridden with black mould under the lino
absolutely stank in there
didnt say anything to the landlord when i moved out

>>216323262
too cold

girl i work with does things on her own and doesn't find it embarrassing, she'll go to museums and eat out and everything by her self

if i did that the shame would destroy me i reckon

ffs ophanim melting my mind again

>>216323315
>shame
do what you want. no one and i mean absolutely fucking no one gives a shit about you

Now that the year is almost over? Is Bonnie blue the most famous Brit of 2025?

>>216323315
girls doing things alone = cute
blokes doing things alone = creepy freak weirdo

>>216323315
Yeah same, think I'd rather kill myself than sit in a cafe or pub or museum all by myself

been thinking and i've decided i support TND

>>216322805
I lost my virginity to a prostitute but I was lucky, it was a great experience.
What happened with the escort that you feel like it poisoned your soul?
Give me a punter report.

>>216323315
i do things like that by myself
except eating out
what else are you meant to do if youve got no mates? sit at home and rot all day?

>>216323315
said I need to get out more and tried this a few times but it's shit sat in a cafe on your own or going to an art gallery on your own with nobody to share the experience with. rather just sit in my smelly incel cave on my own

grand theft auto 6 coming out next year lads, corr putting off my suicide until after i play it me

>>216323315
the only thing thats fun to do alone is traveling, whenever i travel with mates people approach you less but when you travel alone you end up meeting loads of people

>>216323380
Have fun playing as a fat latam

cinema alone is excuse the pun kino

might buy one of those so called gaming consoles when gta 6 comes out

>>216323401
as a fat what now?

>>216322810
wifeberg had gone to toil. kidstein is off school for half term but is watching telly and eating breakfast. im taking him to Alton Towers tomorrow but i've got a teams meeting at 9am today and a lot of other work to do, but we will be walking doggowitz at lunch time.

>>216323430
Latinx woman

>>216323409
dont understand the appeal of going with other people
im not talking to them when the film is on so why do they need to be there

>>216322857
are you the broken window lad?

just opened the window
will be closing it again shortly
good to get hte air moving you see
gets the stink out

>>216323004
is that Ant from Antt and Dec fame? i wouldnt have expected he is an ex special forces rorke

might end the war on drugs by doing them all

>>216323010
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojyY-SC4t74

>>216323446
why would you not want to play as a latina with a big bum?

having sex all by myself

base base buttery base the buttery biscuit base

>>216323464
smelly

phwoar yeh

>>216322810
literally at work and I can hear my wife and baby chatting in our marital bed next door to my office

>>216323557
>1.20
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

black pussy CHANGED rorke

>>216323557
get that muck eaten NOW

airing out my smelly sweaty incel dungeon (got the windows and door open creating a nice breeze)

Bit difficult to put into words but I feel like every White person without fail loves songs with this kind of melody. Why is that?

https://youtu.be/AM0BYy7VLg88eLUjtQcMc6cJltu&t=18

sucking an Earl grey

>>216323315
the ONLY end result of you not doing something because you're worried about how you'd look doing it, is you don't do something you wanted to do
nobody else even knew you wanted to do it, and if you did it, they would immediately forget about seeing you do it - because all of us are constantly seeing people just do whatever they want to do, so why don't you?

not a fan of that black fellow who does them tech reviews
not because hes black or anything

>>216323601
>video is not available
>comments are off
love the nu internet

>>216322818
Let me guess, it's Chinese tat which you bought from Temu

>>216323615
what colour was he when you started?

quite enjoyed my time in singapore
they seem proud of their british colonial past
not like some other countries

>>216323626
think that other lad summed it up well in that doing things alone feels empty, struggle to enjoy most things without company to share it with (granted thats a me problem)

in that comfy phase of drunkenness where i'm satisfied with how drunk i am and don't feel the need to crack open another can, a very rare feeling as any seasoned steamer would tell you

>>216323464
overnight stink

>>216323650
did you see that mad lion fish statue haha

>>216323557
fit

What do you reckon lads?
It's cheaper than last year so I reckon automatic renewal.

>>216323632
Sorry about that, fren. It's the official YouTube Music video so it must have some weird licensing outside the US. Here's the same song but a different video.

https://youtu.be/IKnnh8VDULsFWXPhzBPwg7mdV22&t=19

been to restaurants alone several times, fancy ones too. You might get the odd look but nobody fucking cares, it's such a waste of time going about worrying what other people think of you

>>216323673
...yh x

used to go see bands on my own, haven't been since they stopped making good music

>>216323706
wahey there he is

>>216323557
forrin shite

>>216323361
The escort I saw was nice, very pretty, similar age to me, and she made me feel relaxed. But I just couldn't get aroused. I was very nervous going into it and while the kissing was nice and I relaxed emotionally, I couldn't get hard, even after she gave me oral. I tried giving her oral and people on here have mocked me for this. I wanted her to feel pleasure as well I guess.

I only told her towards the end that I was a virgin and she seemed surprised and asked me why. I maybe should've told her first before we started. I had never told anyone before.

I feel sick now because of my embarrassment at not getting an erection, I feel lonely again, and I feel like I've somehow ruined myself. I haven't had an erection since Tuesday, barely eaten anything as I feel like a failure of a man. I always had stupid romantic dreams of losing it to a woman who loved me. Despite this, I would like to go back to try again, because she was very pretty and she said I had beautiful eyes which made me blush bright red.

I'm glad it went well for you though

>>216323670
me coming up with the brand name for my own personal fragrance

>>216323690
rorke whipping the corolla

>>216323711
lots of good music out in london recently mate
usually go to 20+ gigs a year me

>>216323726
me coming up with the brand name for your own personal fragrance

>>216323737
yeah could you pop a trip on so I can filter you, cheers poppet

>>216323755
Rorke getting angry at this post because he has been told to hate London

>>216323755
>20+
huge numbers. tbf I haven't looked, just don't care anymore, seen everyone I wanted to see

>>216323753
corollas really are the rorke-mobile. i call it blackie jappy

>>216323758
I've been done up like a kipper

*does the monster mash*

Kill Jester.

>>216323315
I honestly think I need to do this.
My parents have always been negative and have always acted with suspicion when I go anywhere

>Now in his 40s, Hakan first arrived in Britain on a tourist visa from Turkey in 2006 to see his then-girlfriend, who was pregnant with their child. He said when the relationship broke down and his immigration status was being sorted, he became homeless and "without options".
Couldn't he have just like gone home to Turkey?

>>216323711
i only go to about 2-4 a year now used to go nearly every week 10 years ago

Found a gangsø møbler table at the thrift for $20

Solid teak that

mmhmm

stop posting for 5 minutes and it's immediate off-topic, extremely low quality, off-topic

>>216323960
>extremely low quality
ktim

my name is rorke, i'm unemployed and i live with my parents

The Cabinet Of Dr. Mousey

RALLY TO ME!

^_____^

>>216323866
>no mention of ethnicity
Hmmm

>>216324068
>Hakan first arrived in Britain on a tourist visa from Turkey

Right that's it getting a buzz cut - fuck it, cannot be bothered washing my mop anymore. Barbers gonna "Are you sure brother??" me cause he knows I've got a gay alien skull but fuck it!!!!

gfberg is working in the office and is on the jam rag while I wfh
yep, thinking it's gigaporn hyperwank time

>>216324087
>giving money to anyone who would say "are you sure brother?"
part of the problem, you

>>216324082
Ethnicity of the people that enslaved him retard, obviously looked up the article didn't I

Find it mental that I sleep a lot better when I drink coffee in the morning

>>216324108
We have a great rapport, he's been my barber for ten years. Piss off

Priest at my church is bald, like old monk bald and he says he gets his hair cut at the Turkish barber
Nigga what hair do they cut

>>216324130
>I've been funding criminals for a decade
that makes it better, how?

a bagel pict
or
gelcap bait

Verbatim quote from my Japanese gf (translated)
>I'd like to get to the point in our relationship where we can both fart in front of each other.
Not sure what to think of that one, fellas.

I'd say 90% of the chav galleries on imagefap now are just gypsy girls at weddings and birthdays
Game's gone

>>216324151
I've a soft spot for Albanians as they keep the other subhumans in line, always been an Albanophile. Beautiful country. They don't come here and start rape gangs, they sell quality product and murder low level apes

>>216324111
your quote doesnt mention slavery, mong

>>216324192
don't think zoomers actually know what a chav is

>>216323737
I was 17 and just got my driving licence and mum gave me her old car. I was at a party on a Friday night and my mates wanted weed. Because I was the only one with a car and knew a guy it was up to me to complete the mission, despite that I had already downed a few bottles of Corona. I went to a weed dealer with 50 quid my mates had pooled together, but he did me 2 grams for 20 and thats all he could do.

His flat was in a dodgy part of the city and on the corner of his road was the main strip of the red light district where prostitutes hung out. I was sat in my car near the corner inspecting the dope and having a little perv on the bird at the corner and she caught my eye. I stashed the dope and lit a ciggie to avoid her gaze, but I could feel her looking at me and I looked back. That was her cue, she came over to my car window which was open due to smoking the cig.

She said hello and asked what I was up to. I basically stammered that I was going to a party. She offered me a party and asked if I had money. I told her I had 30 quid. She laughed and said ok if I gave her a smoke. She got in the car and directed me to a discrete spot. I could feel myself getting a stiffy just looking at her.

She was sexy. Early 20s. Dressed outrageously in a skimpy tight dress and ridiculous heels. We finished smoking then she told me put the seat back and remove my trousers. She sucked me rock hard. It was great. Before I knew it we were both naked. Her on the backseat with her legs spread. I fumbled around trying to get my dick inside but she put it in for me. Bareback. I pumped until I came.

Afterwards we smoked a spliff, still naked on the backseat and had a bit of a cuddle. Thats when she told me her name, Renee. She was from Bournemouth originally. After a while she asked me to drop her back at the corner.

When I got back to my mates at the party they were fuming. I told them I got ripped off and didn't mention the prostitute, but struggled to hide my grin.

>>216323455
Yes lol I actually am but I fixed it yesterday I brought a handle myself from screw fix
>>216323641
No amazon

>>216324192
>>216324193
>>216324198
https://litter.catbox.moe/xjyfweelpbrvyu1s.mp4

>>216324193
And get the white man on their vile muck so they're subservient little goyim

>>216324193
>defending foreign drug dealers

>>216324198
Because I was replying to someone who had read the article. Don't you have black cock fantasies to be writing?

>>216324223
Well done broken window lad, you are a man now.

>>216324224
Well I absolutely will not be clicking this link!

got to write about 2000 words talking about how mint i am in order to hopefully get a £2500 a year pormotion. cba with it me lads

>>216324225
>they force white men to take expensive drugs for years
Impressive!
>>216324238
I respect their game, they have an average IQ of 80 yet every Albanian I have met was well read and had a strong sense of honour - more than any of our native criminals, and certainly more than the other foreigners

>>216324252
Thanks!

>>216324274
windowmong in shambles

ISAbros.....

>>216324261
civil service? waste of time mate, they'll give it to a woman anyway

>>216324319
Good. Fuck men

>>216324319
yeah CS but idk why i said promotion, it's actually a raise. too early to be typing rn

>>216324166
Means she's a keeper

mad how much whole milk makes coffee taste better

>>216324356
me when I ask why the girl with gloves on is allowed to pick the ball up

>>216324359
surely no one believes this

>>216322745
orange wine is peng thoughbeit

>>216324373
I like black coffee, tastes like chocolate
>>216324382
What? Yougov statistics?

>>216324319
>>216324340
>>216324344

>>216322818
get a proper dehumidifier those bags are worthless

>>216324406
I’m a broke ass

>>216324359
polanski and the greens are such an obvious psyop like all those swp sub groups

>>216324373
Hate how milk tastes in coffee and there's something about it that upsets my stomach. Not lactose intolerant just don't like it.
Once you go black you never go back.

>>216324359
What a bizarre graph, no y axis and very convenient odd numbers in 2 or 4 percent steps.

>>216324469
don't mind milk in coffee (though i prefer and drink black) but milk in tea now that is vile
not a big milk drinker in general love cheese though

And let me tell you, I've been taken up to the third heaven. I've been jacked into The Big Plan! I'VE SEEN IT! I can't even compute all of it... It's so fantastical!! You ain't seen nothing!!! YOU AIN'T HEARD NOTHING!!!! YOU AINT SMELLED NOTHING LIKE THIS!!!!! I DONT HAVE WORDS TO TELL YA!!!!!! BUT I TELL U, ANYBODY TRYS TO GET IN THE WAY OF THE INCREDIBLE PLAN THAT THE BIG GUY'S GOT FOR US HAS GOTT ME PISSED AND IM JUST BEGGIN TO STAY ON THE TEAM MAN Just put me in thE game coach Whatever u say Coach i know im weak i know am pathetic man ur amazing im so lucky u made me BUT what do i do boss? like a hunting dog man just take me out of the house Just tell me what I gotta do Tell Me What TELL ME HOW I SERVE YA TELL ME WHAT I GOTTA DO FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!!! WHOOOOOO

black instant coffee is grim as heck you need milk and a lil sugar to mellow it out

>>216324219
Sounds erotic in a grotty kind of way. Mad that you did bareback but I guess you enjoyed it.

You were much younger than me. Do you think I waited too long by getting to 29?

The escort I saw was eastern European, she had quite dark features, spoke fluent English but with an accent which I loved.

i am voting for the /brit/ party in the next general election

MILKY MILKY WARM AND TASTY

>>216324539
You got soft hands brother

speaking of cheese this shit is god tier go and buy some now

just smashed a fucking nana down my gob like a monkey

I live in a paki-infested hellscape

>>216323737
I've had plenty of bad experiences with prostitutes as well. Not all like this >>216324219.

I could always get hard, except once with a gypsy and I ended up wanking my half flaccid cock until I came on her tits. God, that was depressing.

My issue was losing the boner during the act. Had a few embarrassing experiences from that in my early punts. In recent years i've taken pills to prevent that from happening. But it can be difficult to cum even in the full hour session.

To me your experience is bad, but not the end of the world. You should have told her you are a virgin right off the bat. I get why that would be uncomfortable but even still its better to be honest. They are professionals.

As for lapping her minge I almost always eat a woman's box even if they are escorts/prostitutes. I'd recommend in future when a brass is sucking you hard then suggest 69. I've never been turned down for it, birds love 69 action. It's a great sex position. Ignore the mongs on here who think its gay to eat clunge.

You should also pop a pill before hand. Even for the placebo effect alone it helps, but it also works. Sildenafil is were you should start. Get a co-codamol for after the sex because the headaches are unpleasant. Try tadalafil. Shagging is an experiment.

Give it a few weeks, make sure you are eating well and exercising. Try not to wank too much, but do wank when you feel up to it again. All your feelings of embarrassment and shame will feel less intense after a few weeks.

If I were you id go see a different escort. Tell her in advance or at least when you get there that you are nervous and inexperienced. Spend a few minutes talking first. If you don't want to tell her your a virgin just say inexperienced and you like doggy and missionary, they are nice and easy. Like I said do 69.

When you have had a good experience then go back to the other. She wont care that it didnt work last time. They encounter that sort of thing all the time.

>>216324588
Could be worse, you could live in a rorke-infested flag shagging gammon shit-tip!

am I the only one who doesn’t mind the advertisers having all my info? genuinely makes life a whole lot easier when I get ads specific to me

War & Peace up in here

Have an insatiable urge to spend my money on useless shit

>>216324539
True but just don't drink instant. Listen all the poors want to make pour over or press coffee sound posh and pretentious but really it's just good and some of the simplest ways to make coffee using actual ground coffee.
I get it if you're camping or whatever but making a proper cup of coffee using a press hardly takes more time than using instant and is way better. Just rastes better and has way more caffeine.

>>216324667
get off the HRT?

>>216324671
lol fucking faggot

cat sits outside my house meowing until i give it a piece of ham if i just stop giving will it go away eventually

frenchanon is right. instant coffee is swill

anyone else notice that Zarah wants to shag are Nige

Insane how we are 18 months into a Labour govt and already they've introduced a plan to fundamentally transform the state that was not in their manifesto and are about to raise income tax despite saying they would not raise tax
just brazen liars in power basically, not great is it

>>216324774
Link video

>>216324782
& what will the British people do about it? Fucking nothing

Police going down my street rn on horses

>>216324790
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-PWBunYXPg

>>216324782
well I for one would happily pay an extra 2p basic rate tax if it means the bennies don't get cut and we can keep looking after those nice lads who come over on the boats

>>216324746
) :<

>>216324762
Let him in!

>>216322438 (OP)
recognised it straight away
think I saw it in 2006, the same lad had the vid as well as a few angry kid ones and also some japanese woman shooting tadpoles out of her twat

>>216324782
then tories get in and CONSERVE the changes forever

>>216324762
>meowing
FOY

>>216324782
Nobody will ever do anything. It's already too late for Britain. Things might've been reversible 20 years ago, but not anymore. Foreigners have equal numbers to natives. 1 in every 10 people living in the country today arrived AFTER the Brexit referendum. Nobody will ever do anything.

https://ukandeu.ac.uk/the-coming-collapse-in-immigration/

Net migration set to fall under 170,000 in 2026 as a result of new immigration policies, obviously assumes Labour will stick to stated commitments such as extending ILR qualifying period to the Boriswave

>>216324540
It was great. I have no regrets about that. I was her first customer of the night. Bit grotty that she went back to the corner after I finished inside her. But whatever, she was a prostitute and £30 wasn't much of a payday. I looked out for her in the months/years after but didn't see her again. Another prostitute later told me that Renee had died in a house fire. Lots of prostitutes were getting murdered around that time, grim stuff.

Going with escorts is better. It's more comfortable. The escort you saw sounds nice. Some Eastern European girls are quality. A lot of escorts are decent girls.

I think you did wait longer than you should have at 29. But it's not the end of the world. I respect that you went through with it. Most of the lads on here who whinge about the prospect of wizardom dont have the guts to meet a pro.

haven't seen the proto-gf's fanny yet but i am afraid she will have major beef curtains, you can never tell

me? I used to go on sex chat websites and post my willy and middle aged men pretending to be 20 year old women would tell me how big and sexy it was

>>216324921
>graduate visas expiring
yes, those 150,000 will certainly go home once their time is up

>>216324969
naught wrong wi tat

Angel Rangel

Been three months since I last spoke to my Western Australian oneitis, and I still dream about her at least weekly

Quite worried that i'll never find a good job

>>216325002
Wow that's really gay x

>>216324359
>>216324382
>>216324450
It's a result of economics. Old people in the UK have all the wealth, while young people face the prospect of no jobs, high rents, high property prices. Polanski says "let's tax the rich" and that appeals to young people who face a dire future.

>>216325016
Not like it's a choice is it, but yeah mate it's pretty fucking gay

fuck sake fuck you

>>216325039
still have occasional sex dreams with a girl i slept with once 7 years ago

>>216324982
Pre webcams I would talk to a lot of girls "my own age"
I now realize 80% we're probably other dudes
Once man webcams become common oh my days
Still remember a girl from Carlisle that would literally just finger herself every night for me, and probably 100 other guys

any telford man in

>>216324686
What are you insinuating

made gfberg cum from licking her out yesterday

>>216325094
*MSN
Ffs

>>216324539
put some cold water in it first and stir it

>>216324921
>170k net
And 758,000 inward, a solid 650k or so from third world shitholes
warra win

let bfberg lick off Chad's cum yesterday

am am am in swanage deeeee lad

What does it mean if I hardly dream lads?
It's weird because during the day I'm always fantasising about stuff. But I rarely remember my dreams

>>216325167
>the least freaky Germoid

>>216325188
vile icky incel freak

>>216325188
your brain isn't taking in new information throughout the day. probs cos every day is the same

>>216325188
means that your imagination is faltering

>>216325104
Why and how is that mouses willy eating that strawberry!

Dream about my father beating me weekly. He's been dead three years, and he last laid a hand on me over ten years ago - don't beat your kids frens!

>>216325240
im hearing do beat your brats if you want to leave an impression

been awake all night. im a fucking idiot. dunno if i should take a nap now and risk waking up when its dark out. or just stay awake until tonight and crash hard.

>>216325240
u must have been a dumb kid

poo cup needs cleaning from last night

>>216324921
They could kill even more graduates visas by making it contingent on getting a 2:1 or saying you must have graduated from a top 100 world university
Tax remittances at 80-90%
Ban any and all forms of benefits even if the applicant declared themselves "destitute"

Easy ways to stop this place being so attractive

ffs absolutely petrified about tomorrow

>>216324961
>A lot of escorts are decent girls.
She did seem nice. Made me wish I could have her as my gf, pathetic I know.

>But it's not the end of the world. I respect that you went through with it. Most of the lads on here who whinge about the prospect of wizardom dont have the guts to meet a pro.
Thanks. It was hard. My stomach was churning constantly going in and my adrenaline was pumping like crazy. Honestly the most nerve racking thing I've ever done. Just wish I could've got hard.

I'm debating whether to try to see her again now that I got to know her a bit. She sent me a message afterwards saying I was really kind and she'd like to meet again, not sure if that's always the case with escorts or what.

>>216325188
From experience bad sleep doesn't let you dream. I was stressed out of my mind for months and didn't sleep well at all during that time. I can't remember a single time I dreamt.
Then I got on the SSRI jew and now I dream every night. Pretty vividly too, can't really act upon it yet but getting close.

>>216325188
Unironically means you're an NPC
Try rotate an apple in your head
How would you feel if you hadn't had breakfast this morning?

>>216325260
I was expected to behave like a fully grown adult not a spergy child, so yeah from his POV I was dumb. He loved grabbing me by my hair and screaming "Are you a fucking retard or what?"

>>216325188
it means you aren't having proper REM sleep
do you smoke weed?

>>216325279
But I did have breakfast this morning?

today`s Pocket Monster

of
The Day
Is ..

Haunter !!

>>216325284
>He loved grabbing me by my hair and screaming "Are you a fucking retard or what?"

>>216325262
>Ban any and all forms of benefits even if the applicant declared themselves "destitute"
What about a one way ticket to the capital of whatever country they're from and a week in a cheap hotel?
Like it wouldnt cost that much in comparison to bennies and they can't say they can't get home
I'm sure there's a flaw I'm not seeing outside of them not taking the flight

>>216325309
Aye it's funny and absurd. Used to do it in public too, but as he was 6ft4 and broad as a bull nobody said a fucking word

>>216325308
I KNOW THAT ONE

>>216325122
what letter of the alphabet was it?

>>216325284
>He loved grabbing me by my hair and screaming "Are you a fucking retard or what
Kinky bastard

>>216325284
what an americanised spastic he was

>>216325339
alri hatfilms

>>216325321
Well if this Ethiopian that was bribed to go back is any indicator looks like the going rate is £500 and a plane ticket

i'm so racist i can barely function

>>216325279
I can rotate an apple in my head no problem
>>216325295
No.

>>216325341
i... is the most imba manouvre

>>216325267
Thats not pathetic. But do remember its her job and she isn't looking for love.

It's not typical for escorts to text afterwards but occasionally it happens and I think thats nice of her. Like I said give it a few weeks then I reckon try another girl before you go back to her. You won't be as nervous the next time. And do consider my advice on pills, its easy to get them online.

Also nothing stopping you from getting on dating apps while you get used to punts and shagging.

>>216325268
I get a good 7-8 hours each night.

I do sometimes wake up with hazy memories of dreams and apparently I shout in my sleep sometimes but I just can't remember vivid dreams. I haven't for years.

>>216325389
Ktim lol

Being a virgin on your wedding day is like the bare fucking minimum.

>>216325437
get on the ZMA lad makes you dream more and recall more of your dreams

>>216324621
>>216325434
Thanks for the advice lad. I really appreciate it, you've made me feel a bit better.

How come you think I should see another escort rather than the same one? If I see another one, wouldn't I have to do the same thing of explaining my situation and getting used to her?

I am cutting out porn completely.

so... what time is it in moscow?

>>216325493
u wot m8?
no woman would marry a virgin

Last Christmas was having a walk & chatting with my family, & the topic of inner voice/visualisation/dreams came up and my cousin told me her husband has none. He cannot even imagine the faces of family members. Absolutely blew my mind, I asked him about it (he was right there) and he gets all cagey and embarassed. Wanted to know how his mental processes work

>>216325517
I’m talking about women too.

don't let rorke speak at the christmas dinner

>>216325534
lmao give it a rest rorke, no women are virgins at an age they will marry

>>216325573
You’re a cuck

>>216325542
Fortunately I come from good stock and all of my family are somewhat racist. My female cousin has her Siri set up so it's an Indian man and she's always doing impressions of Indians and cackling.
My elderly aunt bless her heart asked if the voice was an actual Indian man in a call centre lmao

Ideal husband for a modern woman is a kpop tenor who's never even touched it himself

Got scary music on like Bob Dylan and that to get in the Halloween mood

sisstein waited until her kids were old enough to be bridesmaids

>>216325608
nope, im not married
try again rorke

Reclining in my office chair with my feet on a footstool, gazing out of the window puffing on a vape.

>>216325647
Yeah but you’re happy to marry a woman who’s had sex with 1000 different men

>>216325652
im tooting my vape an all but just laying on the bed

>>216325652
Hope the footstool slips and the vape ends up stuck in your windpipe and every time you talk a cloud comes out

>>216325679
Well that's rude isn't it

>>216325652
The clouds are adding to the eerie halloween vibe

>>216325661
pretending to be outraged with bonnie blue
get over yourself rorke

more like bonnie poo lol

inseminated an aboriginal lady yesterday
gin pussy's got a grip like something else

finally came to terms with the fact i need to start undergoing therapy because my mental is declining to breaking point

badly want to try cocaine

>>216325747
its not that good and its ovepriced

>>216325738
What mob she?

>>216325783
fact. get on the pink

>>216325783
I already have some. just bit of a pussy like

>>216325798
fake drug

>>216325740
therapy made me worse because it made me realise nobody actually cares not even the supposed specialists that you're paying money to, nobody gives a shit

>>216325740
let it break, what's your mental done for you lately

>>216325747
As a lover of cocaine, don't do it. Changes your brain forever. I still get sudden phantom whiffs of the scent. If I see cocaine being done in media, I legit get a little burst of pleasure anticipation in my brain. Even if you never get addicted, you'll always want it, it's demonic bro.

>>216325812
do some whisky first

getting a buzzcut lads. Sick of hair.

>>216325825
hearing the voices again

>>216325747
not a big druggy but i always thought of it as rubbish ecstasy

wanking my arse with the new

>>216325851
the classic norwood cope

>>216325863
what are they talking about

haven't shaved in ages, moustache starting to curl at the ends

99 job rejections and a interview aint one

>>216325894
the gherkin...

>>216325864
They are totally different highs though, MDMA is for emotional sensual experiences with girls, it's like a sweet wine you drink at a picnic on a warm summers day. Cocaine is filth, goonpowder, a cheap bottle of offbrand vodka that you chug before meeting a ran through Chav slag so that you can perform the dirty deed.

>>216325877
idk what that means but im still doing it

so this is it, the last ever /brit/...

>>216325894
the gay porn

>340
how are you CUNTS this lazy?
I understand it's NEET hour but fucking hell

get the young fitties posted

>>216325941
>>216325941
>>216325941

>>216325509
cutting out porn is a good idea

i'm worried you are setting yourself up for a disappointment if you go straight back to her

in my early days doing punts there was a russian bird
she was a looker
we had fun and agreed to meet up to smoke weed and just hang out. i was expecting us to be friends, we had good chemistry.
all week i was in a good mood, thinking about shagging her again
but my texting game isnt very good
i tried messaging her to hang out but she thought i wanted a punt
well i did want to shag her again so i went with it
but this time she was like a completely different person
the chemistry was gone. she was moody and curt and not talkative. in my mind id built up this idea of being friends with benefits with this nice russian bird
instead the second time was awful
she was lacklustre and distant
acted like the previous week didnt happen
clearly just wanted the money

i think if you go to another girl first you can build up your confidence, then you will hopefully be ready to go back to her and give a solid performance.

>>216325931
waiting for the dogshit jf new