(Through the walls)
>"GODDAMMIT FUCKTARDED WALL HACKS I SWEAR TO GOD. FUCK"
(In the hallway)
>"Hey man wanna buy a real Olt lower? No no no it's actually a super rare factory defect where they forgot to mill the fire control group, heh"
(Through the ceiling)
*POP*
>"Oh shit, I guess it WAS loaded"
(Out front)
>Guy who drew the short stick is setting up targets for his friends who are sitting on the roof with a scoped .22lr shouting commands
Yeah it would be a real zoo

Okay, which one of you fucking faggots put a grenade in the laundry machine again?

I pour my used breakfree down the drain after cleaning my .22 suppressors and there's isn't jack shit the landlord can do about it

>>63813872
Imagine not having an in-unit washer, serves you right!

>>63813554 (OP)
Some faggot keeps tapping the walls of my roomate Derl's room while he's trying to goon.
Whoever it is, I'm going to flood your room with BZ.

>>63813554 (OP)
THE BUILDING ACROSS THE STREET CAN LISTEN TO OUR CONVERSATIONS. WIRETAPS IN MY WALLS. CIA SATELLITE WITH DIA UPLINK. THEY CAN HEAR MY PHONE CALLS. THEY CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS. I WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY THEM ANYMORE. I WILL NOT REPLACE MY WINDOW. I WILL NOT STOP SHOOTING.

>Neighbor ND'd into my unit for the 42nd time and immediately yelled "that's just part of responsible gun ownership and you should get used to it"
I hate this place

>>63813554 (OP)
Whoever keeps sending random women to bang on my apartment door needs to fucking quit it. I am NOT risking another cooties outbreak on my floor

>>63817979
>Women
Anon, those are the apartment traps, just throw them a plushie and they'll skitter back into the utilities room

>>63817979
>women
Boy anon, do i have news for you

>>63817988
Fuck that, the plushies are mine. If you touch my goddamn fumo I will break your limbs so you can't run and staple felt to your skin. I'll then force you to live as a lifesize human fumo in the corner of my room for the rest of your days.

>>63818001
You stay far away from me

>>63818023
>Lifesized Gardevoir plush
There's a fleshlight in that thing, isn't there?

>>63818029
I'm pretty sure if I tried to touch her she would shoot me...

>>63818001
Hell Yeah Brother. Keep your Fumos safe

Through the walls
> "AHHHHHHH!!! I JUST FUCKING SHOT MYSELF!!!"

how long has it been since these apartment threads have been posted
these threads were like proto-backrooms shit with how detailed it got

Can anyone help me lug my AR500 headboard into my 5th floor apartment? I'm tired of NDs coming through the wall as I sleep

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DET COR-

There's another fucking tour bus on the horizon, where do we keep the shotgun shells filled with used condoms again?

I swear the next pavement ape to come cruising by my window with the muffler on his shitbox Chevy knocked off is getting pelted with the cum bottles. I've got one that just celebrated its five year anniversary, I'll bet it'd repaint his shit real nicely...

Can anyone help me lug my case of M993 up to the fifth floor? Every time I ND it blasts a shitload of spall into my living room. It's like my asshole neighbor wants me to get lead poisoning or some shit. This'll show him.

Hello? Is anyone awake on the third floor?

>>63822728
not anymore. There was a lot of screaming and a few gunshots about an hour ago, it's quiet now.

I'm a new fag, but everyone itt is retarded. WHAT'S GOING ON?

>>63818247
Sounds funny, I'll help you anon. Can I take a mag's worth as payment? Never know when that comes in handy.

>>63822861
>everyone itt is retarded
WHAT'S GOING ON?
Sorry too retarded to say

>>63822751
You didn’t kill the entire floor did you? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TERRIBLE THAT SMELL IS WHEN IT RISES UP TO MY LEVEL?

>>63818111
You gotta build up a tolerance to getting shot. Start with some smaller calibers like .22lr then gradually work up. I can take a full .45acp to the chest with no side effects and I'm working on 10mm - I'll let you know how that goes when I try it later on.

>>63813554 (OP)
I hope someone firebombs the apartment and shoots everyone trying to flee so this board can go back to being normal and not 30,000 thinly veiled /pol/ threads.