Thread 63832895

After 7 years as legionary grunt, following Legatus through mud of Hispania and desert hell of Judæa, I finally got promoted to Optio. New rank’s pay is double what I was making before. Should I invest in better gladius or armor?
The cinædi in /gladius general/ are always going on about their engraved ivory hilts, but for a rank and file poorfag, isn’t simple hardwood hilt just as effective?
What about armour? Should I invest in a baller Lorica Squamata or is basic gallicshit chain Hamata just as good for defense against Barbarian’s wild strikes?
Gratitude for advisement, fratelli.

bumpus

>>63832895 (OP)
are you sure there was a judea in 50BC ? I doubt it. Way later the territory was called Syria-Palaestina. Jews were only a smelly irrelevant tribe among many others.

>>63833102
Judea is a client state at the moment, annexation pending.

>>63833188
Well, that tract of land was really enticing.

>>63833102
Judea was Judea in some form or another from the 8th century BCE until the Romans were like "fuck this" and changed the name in the 2nd century CE. It didn't come under Roman administration until 6CE.

>>63833102
>>63833166
>>63833264
>Soon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kQRKhvxh34

>>63832895 (OP)
Hamata would have been more expensive.

>>63833188
Checked o/

>>63832895 (OP)
My neighbor saw me shortening my pilum below 26 cubits (screw the Lex Julia) and threatened to contact the Urban Cohort. Is it time to Ides Martii with the boys so I don't end up going out like the Textors at Mons Gemmae?

>>63833264
>BCE
pleb.

>>63832895 (OP)
Write all of that in Latin next time.

>>63833264
>Judea was Judea in some form or another from the 8th century BCE
Keep dreaming Shlomo

>>63832895 (OP)
You should invest in layered armor you asshole. You're at peak one layer protection but you can go lighter, add mail, backed by leather, and what you trade in steel or iron plate will be made up for. Also start using burning hot sand as shot in naval warfare.

>>63834379
pea/k/

>>63832895 (OP)
How much salt does a gladius cost?
Shouldn't you be using your pay to salt the meat they feed you so you always have something to eat, even when the other legionaries are starving?

>>63838909
legionaries weren't paid in salt; rather, salt was a a part of their pay
the former is like saying soldiers today are paid in food, just because they eat at DFACs

>>63832895 (OP)
>desert hell of Judæa
I'll never forgive them for cucking my legion out of wagonloads of slaves at Masada. fucking spoilsports.

> Simultaneously, Roman forces tortured and crucified fugitives in view of the city walls—at times in varied positions for soldiers' amusement—resulting in over 500 daily executions that filled the available space for crosses, aiming to intimidate the besieged into surrender.[109]

I wonder what those "varied positions" were.

>>63832895 (OP)
Salve amicii, the other day I was walking to my local taverna and I saw a celt man with a 8/10 roman. The west has fallen

>>63832895 (OP)
Did you guys see Pompey’s triumph yesterday? Extremely fucking cack. They promised the best triumph since Camillus. But the ferocious Pontic warriors they had in chains looked more like the dregs of the slave market in the Subura. The carts full of treasure were clearly just gold painted bronze. The II Claudia couldn't keep their marching formation because they had to keep swerving to avoid the elephant shit all over the streets. And the Triumphal chariot broke a wheel. The Triumphator didn't even need his face painted red, he was that embarrassed. And they weren't even playing classic Roman war songs, just some lame Greek shit played on out of tune aulos. The whole thing was sponsored by the Capitoline Guild of Millers and they kept spamming ads for their bread every five minutes. How will the enemies of Rome fear us now?

Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every night, I can remember Alexander. And Menander. Even Archebius. The empire we've lost. The comrades we've lost. Won't stop hurting. It's like they're all still there. You feel it too don't you? I'm gonna make them give back our past.

>>63833264
>bce
Before what?

>>63841120
Oh shut up Gaius you damn stultissime. Just go back to your governor's villa in hispania.

>>63842200
What kind of barbaroi name is Gaius? And wtf is a hispania?

>>63832895 (OP)
>Should I invest in better gladius or armor?
Neither. You should invest in a better spear. No point in upgrading a side arm you'll rarely use. Armor is a close 2nd

>>63834379
Ivpiter Optimvs Maximvs tier post

Scythia Superpower 20 BC

>>63833475
JUDEA
DELENDA
EST

>>63832895 (OP)
Do you seriously have to buy your own gear? But you look like a post-Marian legionary

You pathicī who never served in Gallia have no idea how good you had it. Those barbari are the most repulsive people I've ever met. If I ever get sent back to Lutetia, I'm going to fall on my gladius.

>>63833264
>BCE
>CE

>>63841120
Ok senex.
Things were never good, nobody was ever happy, Rome was always burning

>>63833188
>he signed up to die for Greece

Laugh at him

>>63842159
Before Cucking Europe.

BUNCHA PUSSIES... YOU SNOWFLAKES WOULDN'T HAVE LASTED 5 MINUTES IN ASIA MINOR...

>>63834379
Careful where you say things like that, brother. Speculatores have been watching this wall for messages like that.

What's your favourite Greek play?

>>63833264
>the 8th century BCE

My HS history teacher totally sperged when most of the class started describing her use of "BCE" as Before Christian Era, and "CE" as Christian Era. She actually took 2 weeks off and a sub had to teach during this time. She (the sub) also tried the BCE/CE shit but we would not relent. When she came back she avoided it as much as possible, but when she had no choice she used a minus "-" or plus "+" signs instead. She ended up transferring out. Slut should have known better than try that in a rural school.

>>63841120
Underrated

>>63833074
underrated. I died a little.

>>63839120
Why would a self respecting Roman man want a Roman harlot? Get yourself a Parthian slave girl, perhaps even a Roxolani will suffice

>Another year of campaigning marching around the desert
Fucking Parthians, when will they stand and fight?
I'm off to offer a sacrifice to Apollo asking him to be merciful in the desert heat. What animal should I use? My slave recommends a chicken.

>>63861455
I'm not sure that a chicken is enough. Sacrifice a goat if you can get one.

>>63834379
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
SPQR, OPEN UP!

>>63834379
Hide that shit anonvs.

>>63863428
Fucking senatus aethiopes

VVhat is the smallest size gladivs to reliably stop a charging Gavl?
I savv a legionarius stab a Gavl 15 times before he finally dropped.

>>63863428
>SPQR, OPEN UP!
It would be Vigiles, not SPQR. You don't have police going 'USA, OPEN UP!'. Or perhaps cohortes urbanae. But the idea of a modern police force did not exist until the Bongs made the Met Police. Until then it was volunteers watchmen etc.

>>63863428
>grunts stacking up and kicking doors in the Middle East
a tale as old as time lmao

>>63833475
I am against all the Crucifixions and the enslavements but I am very much in favour of destroying the Second Temple .Unneeded and worthless after Him .

>>63839012
I am all for destroying the Temple and putting down savage rebellions but this was fucking barbarous

>>63832895 (OP)
>better gladius or arm-
let me stop you right there anonvs. consider this:
2spear

>>63850720
>Not using years since the Founding of Rome, Ab Urbe Condita (704 AVC)
>Not even listing the reigning consuls (Paullus and Marcellus)
R U Even Roman?

>be Roman
>get stabbed
It’s high time Rome banned gladii. Only legionarii should have gladii.
You gladii owners are sickos who fantasize about Gauls breaking into your domus only so you can stab them to death. Seek help.

>>63867347
right
Nemo gladium impetuate nigrum terribilem requirit

>more romaboo shit

there are dozens of other empires

>>63867804
>there are dozens of other empires
But there is only one Rome.

Except for that time there were 2 Romes.
And that other time where the original Rome collapsed and was later replaced by a different Rome.

>>63867804
they're not so well-attested
and I say this as a chink

>>63867797
We shouldn't have even gone to Abyssinia

>>63865116
Why yes, I am something of Roman myself

>>63843154
>Gaius
some retards larping as Trojans, they'll never amount to anything
>Hispania
In the tongue of the uncivilized this means Iberia. No, not that Iberia. The other one.

>>63861455
>Fucking Parthians, when will they stand and fight?
Right now.
>cataphracts run down your pathetic army with no cavalry of note
lmao nothing personnel kid

>>63869641
Glad to see a fellow Hellene around here. And here I thought the Indians and Saka were bad enough back home.

>>63869641
>>63869828
>mogs ur phalanx (more like GAYlanx)

>>63870249
>forgot mosaic

>>63832895 (OP)
>Judea
Wait I thought Arab Palestinians always lived there!?!

>>63834379
>shortening your issued weapon
MAXIMUMUS PLEBEIAN

>>63870249
>>63870254
You savages couldn't even handle a few horse archers in the desert.

>>63869828
>Hellene
Haha, yes my fellow Hellene, how do you do?

Say, have you heard of Buddhism yet?
>>63870249
>phalanx
What phalanx? Nigger you're in Sogdiana, there ain't no phalanx here, you're gonna die

>>63870425
Already converted. Many of us Yavanas have.

>>63863630
>Until then it was volunteers watchmen etc.
Gendarmeries existed since the late 15th century but failing that I'm pretty sure the military would've been used for police duties since its inception

>>63870254
not so fast...!

>>63833074
Kek, are we getting to Monty Python levels now?

Guys, I need advice. My oldest son has fallen in with an Eastern mystery cult. But it isn't one of the cool ones. He won't drink wine or go to brothels any more. We tried bringing a girl to him, and he chased her out.

I hear rumors that they eat human flesh at this cult. Anyhow, I was supposed to leave the estate to him but he has given away all he owns to go live with some weirdos out in the wastelands of the Sketis Valley, where they eat almost nothing, swear off women, and wear sack cloth.

Surely this will burn itself out in a year or so, right?

>>63872516
Just give it 1,500 years and they'll deny that anyone ever seriously talked about eating flesh and drinking blood, and that even if they did, all the native Greek speakers who actually spoke the ancient dialect must have misread the texts and developed this as a delusion.

>>63872516
It's just a fad, nothing ever happens.

The Gladius is too small and weak, only the Hasta has the range and stopping power to being down a charging barbarian with a single stab
>but my stab placement
Stab placement is a meme, you aren't going to have time to carefully aim your stabs in a combat situation and so you need a weapon that will stop that barbarian with a single stab, which is the Hasta

>>63872537
Inominvs, the Dionysiacs were never relevant. Trolling them for the ridentez was something our parents' generation did in the /beta/ forum.

>>63872516
You can thank the Popularestards and their Greekfaggotry for opening the floodgates to this kind of Eastern degeneracy. Back in my day, if a patrician lad was seen prancing around with Syriac ritual dung-worshippers, he'd be thrown off the Tarpeian Rock faster than you can say Roma Victrix. But now you see these opium addled youths in the forum every day wearing Dacian cloaks and dancing to Ægyptian flautists. It's because social standards have gotten too lax and no
one fears the pœna cullei anymore. SPQR, not SPQG!

________________
Marcus Iscaurius Naso
Legio IV Macedonica (sutler) (AUC 706-708)
Gladivs Hispaniensis (22 cubits)
"Svlla Did Nothing Wrong"
"Italica Gets 'er Done!"

>>63872604
>XL kekorum

>>63833102
Is this pilpul?

>>63867872
Chinee are larping as their Han ancestors now but it's nothing compared to how Europe did the Roman larp

>>63832895 (OP)
>unironically joining the legion
You latin cucks make me laugh. Auxilia is where the real men are. Do you even know how to ride horses?

>>63860150
>My HS history teacher totally sperged when most of the class started describing her use of "BCE" as Before Christian Era, and "CE" as Christian Era. She actually took 2 weeks off and a sub had to teach during this time. She (the sub) also tried the BCE/CE shit but we would not relent. When she came back she avoided it as much as possible, but when she had no choice she used a minus "-" or plus "+" signs instead. She ended up transferring out. Slut should have known better than try that in a rural school.
>she used a minus "-" or plus "+" sign

More proof that women do not belong in the teaching "profession"

>>63847232
Tactical advantage of working the splintery wooden catapult while naked?

>>63867868
And all the times Johnny come lately barbarians described themselves as the new Rome

>>63871834
>>63863630

The inquisition were a police force

>>63872656
>Chinee are larping as their Han ancestors
"Han" was always a political fiction cooked up by Mongols when they conquered us

>>63863630
Athens had a few hundred Scythian slaves that acted as a police force.

>>63873209
>The inquisition were a police force

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishin'
That we'd go away
So, c'mon you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous
You better change your point of views today
Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay

CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
>CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
>CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
>CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
>CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
CARTHAGO DELENDA EST
>CARTHAGO DELENDA EST

>>63876937
just because your parents named you cato doesn't mean you have to copy his schizoposting

>>63832895 (OP)
>engraved ivory hilt
Very cool, Batemanus, but that’s nothing. Look at this. Ferro caelesti core folded over 300 times, bone scabbard, fittings of polished lapis viridis. Got it off of a merchant in Antioch. Would cut through your Spanish pig iron like butter.

>>63877113
pathetic

>>63872656
This meme is so stupid, it's like the creator doesn't know what Celts or Slavs are

>>63847232
Titus did nothing wrong

>>63878351
The only thing Titus (and Hadrian) did wrong was not exterminating them completely. Carthage style. See any Carthaginian tribes around lately? Precisely.

>>63834379
>Reducing the reach of your weapon
Are you fucking stupid? Your standard gladius is for close-in fighting! We build them short for a reason!

>he carries a gladius instead of more pila
ngmi

>strict laws against weapons within the walls of Rome
>violent crime rate still through the roof
I hope our ancestors learn that weapon laws are retarded

>>63847232
>yup
>this is how wars work
>now get the fuck back in line

>>63878369
You couldn't handle a Scythian gf

>>63878755
I've been rocking two scutums since Gallia.
Nothing beats the wall.

>>63878369
Head up to the Bosporan Kingdom then, we've got more than we know what to do with. My cousin's selling one right now as a matter of fact. She's got the body like Aphrodite and the wrath of Hera. Killed one his Thracian slaves a few nights ago and had already skinned him and turned his skull into a cup by the time my cousin woke up.
Anyways, you could probably have her for 50 drachma. I don't know what that works out to in Roman currency, but it's a steal in any case. Just be careful and don't let her get near a bow.

>>63873152
Artillerymen have always worked their pieces at a bare minimum shirtless. It's a tradition.

>>63878369
>no Scythian gf
what's the point of going on, bros?

>>63880511
>two walls
>builds ships on the spot to invade prehistoric bongland twice
>builds a bridge across the fucking Rhine in ten days
Was Caesar autistic?

>>63834379
Vigileposters will get the cross on the Day of The Cross.

>>63841120
>I can remember Alexander. And Menander. Even Archebius.
All had sex with men.

>>63839120
Anon , the plural of Salve is Salvete .Get civilized , you Germanic .

>>63872604
The civilians might be falling prey to that Yeshuaist nonsense, but at least the legions still remember they're Romans. I know that if someone in my old cohort had been caught doing any Eastern cultist stuff, the rest of us would have marched straight out of the mithraeum and cudgeled them to death on the spot.

----------------------
Gaius Quintus Lepidus
"Prepare for war, since you have been unable to endure a peace"
IV Legion, Year of the Consuls Cn. Servilius Caepio and Q. Pompeius to the Year of the Consuls P. Mucius Scaevola and L. Calpurnius Piso Frugi
Letter carried by my slave Antigon