Thread 63885242

You DO have a base jumping rig stashed in your high rise corporate office in case of a terror attack, don’t you anon??

>>63885242 (OP)
I'd need to get a high rise corporate office first

>>63885242 (OP)
You can't open windows in most high rises

>>63885274
If he went to all that effort I'd assume he's also packing a tool to break the highrise window.

>anon jumps out of the office building consumed by flames
>the unpredictable hot air columns from the fire sends him tumbling into the impact site

>>63885242 (OP)
Imagine saving the office hottie, she will be gargling your ock and asshole in the ambulance

>>63885242 (OP)
This guy has 50 lbs of rope and a harness stashed away on an office with unbreakable windows so he can somehow escape a terror attack? Fake and gay

>>63885274
>>63885291
Yeah just shoot them

>>63885320
>with unbreakable windows
Where does it say the windows are unbreakable

>>63885332
The building code. Hi-rises have incredibly strong windows so they aren't constantly being fucked up by storm debris, and so that falling glass doesn't present a safety hazard to people below if someone throws a chair in a heated office debate. Breaking one is not trivial.

>>63885381
A man who spent all that time and money developing an escape plan presumably has breaking the glass as a factor.
Not like he'll get punished for whatever he does in that scenario no matter how extreme.

>>63885320
>>63885381
You are aware roofs are a thing, right?

>>63885242 (OP)
No, I am not as based as that guy.

>>63885300
More like his nylon parachute gets fucked by urban wind patterns and he smacks into a glass panel at 30 mph. Or the fire melts his parachute.

>>63885457
>just scale several flights of stairs that might not even be accessible in an emergency

>>63885457
remind me again which direction fire spreads?

>>63885242 (OP)
The tallest place I've worked in is second floor.

>>63885242 (OP)
>first ever base jump is from a window 47 floors up
At least he'll get more camera time than the other jumpers.

>>63885274
>>63885291
High rise glass is double paned and designed to NOT break easily.
Shits tough as woodpecker lips.

>>63885381
There used to be a guy who would throw himself up against the windows of his highrise office to prove how strong they were. He broke through one of the windows and fell to his death. I think you're greatly overestimating how well put together those buildings are.

>>63885497
>get fired
>shoot up the office
>everyone already hiding or ran because elevator is slow as shit
>hear banging from inside a room
>"aha got one begging the outside for help."
>open the door
>Bob in accounting dressed like a flying squirrel
>exhausted from trying to break the window with a sledgehammer
>exchange uncomfortable stare
>"Hey Steve."
>"Hey Bob."
>close the door and turn self into police
>Bob suddenly smacks into the pavement next to the SWAT van

>>63885497
>double paned and designed to NOT break easily
It's still pretty easy to break if you actually want to do it

>>63885468
Nevermind that the roof access hatch is most assuredly locked to prevent retards from being up there and/or jumping off.

>>63885242 (OP)
Always preparing to fight the last war.

>>63885654
Exploding scooters are much harder to defend against while remaining inconspicuous.

>>63885498
It's not that the window broke in that scenario, it became dislodged and the whole pane fell

>>63885466
Yep, better to not ever do anything at all and just die in every plausibly survivable situation. Because you know what never dies? Pathological cynicism.

just shoot the window out?

While I find the idea stupid because it's another retard prepping for the 0.001% chance he gets to use a steel plate briefcase to deflect a terrorist bullet and then base jump from 9/11 2 while certainly neglecting basic things that will actually probably help in life, most of the anons here are just as bad. Yes skyscraper windows are tough, but at the end of the day they're mass produced glass and given the right combo will absolutely break. Base jumping above an aircraft impact site absolutely is dangerous, but to dismiss it as impossible is dumb.

>>63885864
It's not being dismissed for being impossible, it's dismissed for being a retarded fantasy.

>>63885893
>dismissed for being a retarded fantasy
As it should be, but there's several anons who've smugly pointed out why it wouldn't/can't work, for reasons that Agent Anon in the OP could work around given a bit of prep

>>63885274
if you don't have breaching charges in your bug out bag you WILL die

>>63885701
It’s also so incredibly hard and rare to do it became “the” story.

>>63885941
>post something retarded
>people call it retarded
It's been this way since Roman graffiti

>>63885785
>plausibly
Jumping to your death isn't plausible survivability.

>>63885864
If you work in an office, the only CC you should be packing is your lawyer's business card since the vast majority of threats you will face are the social kind since life is not an action movie.

>>63885864
>most of the anons here are just as bad.
/k/ is too retarded (on average) to work in an office at any position higher than janitor.

>>63885320
>rope

>>63885457
>my 50+ story office was just victim to a terrorist attack so severe I'm considering base jumping out a window to survive
>I'll probably have time to get to the roof
Just go to the fucking front door at that point.

>>63885864
I wonder if that guy keeps any water or a first aid kit in his car.

>>63886188
A decent janitor has to know how to troubleshoot and fix a wide variety of things. That's a high bar for brown people and most people in general.

>>63886256
lmao /k/ tops out at mop bitch

>>63885497
Yeah there's "Not break easily" in the context of >Oh shit I knocked a guy carrying something heavy and it slammed into the glass, good thing it didn't break!
And then there's
>I am a 6ft tall man using all my strength to strike it repeatedly with a blunt steel tool
Unless it's the REAL stuff they use for HMMVV windows or some shit then it's not going to last more than a few strikes

>>63885497
>move desk to window, narrow side of desk facing window
>lift swivel office chair onto desk with the chair resting on it's back
>slide the chair down the desk surface so the castors slam into the glass
It works well with the nice heavy steelcase chairs that office towers often use.

>>63886260
Better than being a phone bitch that is ordered to shill or go to Ukraine.

>>63885242 (OP)
I work on the second floor. My window-terror plan involves walking on crutches for a few months.

I pay a mexican to stand watch on a nearby building with a stringer. So far not a single plane hit my building, thanks Jorge.

>>63886256
They tend to be called Custodians when they actually do electrical shit and whatnot

>>63886006
Are you saying it was a lie? I think witnesses all corroborated that the pane literally popped off and not the glass breaking

>>63885242 (OP)
I had always planned to get something like this if I ever worked in a high rise.

>>63886391
Fun fact about Garry Hoy, he drove a Ferrari, and was banging his secretary who was devastated by his death. By all accounts she was a hot blonde. His coworkers held their Christmas party after his death at a well-known restaurant nearby called Jump, as a joke. I knew some of his coworkers from that time.

>>63885242 (OP)
>terror attack
Much more likely to be a plain old fire.
But anon would be better served living a healthy lifestyle and cutting down on unnecessary risks rather than preparing for a second 9/11

>>63885528
I'm fucking dying 5/5

>>63885274
>>63885497
true but not like its a impossible problem, you can prepare tool, from axes/saws to just a hydraulic jack. its layer glued/foiled glass. buy a sheet test your skill. if you are at that level this is a logical step.

>>63885626
Also, the stairwell is going to be packed with people going DOWN. One idiot ...wearing a parachute... and going up is going to get mobbed and murdered.

>>63885497
Will it hold up to a heavy office chair hurled with full retard strength, multiple times if need be?

>>63886630
There's that famous anecdote of an exec that liked to show off how strong the windows on his building were by running full force into them. It eventually failed because repeating the stunt for years and years had weakened the seal holding the glass in place and he went out the side of the building with the intact window.

All that to say, I wouldn't count on it in an emergency.

>muh 9/11
Terrorists are not the main danger here, fire is
If the fire is above you, great, you just run down the stairs
If the fire is below you however, you might not have that option. The situation getting bad enough that base jumping off the building is your best bet is of course very unlikely, but not impossible and I think more likely than someone trying to bomb your office

if you don't have a 0/0 ejection seat with canopy detcord you WILL die

>>63886372
Kek

>>63886396
>oh shit the building is on fire
>the office sperg takes out his fast roping kit
>everyone is stunned as he gracefully takes off from the window
>20 obese Herman Miller dwellers scramble to follow him
>the line breaks before our hero reaches 10th floor

>>63885528
10/10

>>63886360
lel

>>63885242 (OP)
You don't even need a rig. Just get a rigger belt, a couple of solid carabines and some rope, if you rely completely on yourself.
Hardest part would be detter others from following you down, while you still hanging

It's a bit like having parachutes in a civilian passenger plane. Average injury/death rate will be higher so it's a shitty idea.
The OP scenario is even worse because most of the time you can just use the stairs. You have to be absolutely sure you don't have any other options before you dress up like a flying squirrel and jump out the window.

>>63885242 (OP)
>Be autist
>Conceal a full parachute rig with a +1 in the ceiling on the 47th floor
>11/11 Comes
>Hop on desk and remove tile
>The HVAC guy found it two months ago
>Die
>Plane impacts floor 50, 49, 48, 47
>Die
>Plane impacts below floor 47
>Can't get window open, roof access locked.
>Die
>Put on parachute ask Tiffany to hop in
>Fat ass Phil demands he goes, starts hitting you with his stapler, the whole office joins in
>Die

>>63885528
Outstanding

>>63885242 (OP)
yh

t. wfh inna 3 story suburban apartment complex

>>63887092
He's got a gun, bro.
High-rise windows might be designed to withstand some dude falling against them but they're not designed to withstand 15 rounds of 9mm, and I'm pretty sure fat ass Phil isn't either. Autistanon will be fine.

>>63887092
>don't read thread before posting
>die

>>63887128
>shoot the glass
>it's laminated
>new airflow turns fire into a blast furnace

>>63887722
incredible, why did it fail lol

if someone had jumped out of the towers with skydiving gear on 9/11, the terrorists wouldn't have won

>>63888100
Such is the fate of a dad that wants to do cool shit with their kid while mom isn't looking. Kid is probably juuuuust injured enough that mom will learn what has transpired.

>>63885242 (OP)
I thought this was Gecko45 copypasta.

>>63885497
Just keep a pickaxe at your desk

>>63887722
<- Start doing THIS

>>63888120
The sad thing is, these guys are fit and enthusiastic. They would be great soldiers if they were trained properly.

>>63885274
How well do they hold up against carbide window breakers or spark plug ceramic shards?

>>63885242 (OP)
Due to this thread, I googled "How to break highrise window". First result was a reddit post asking how much force it would take to jump out one. Someone asked the OP if they were ok, OP launched into a sob story about how his life is in the gutter, his gf left him, etc. I click on his profile and basically all his posts are about how he's suicidal because she discovered his opiate addiction. Last post is from 6 years ago with him getting arrested. I guess the loser actually went through with it lmao. Redditors are such pathetic faggots.

>>63885528
>Welcome to the party, pal!

>>63885242 (OP)
>base jump to your office

>>63888532
You're right. No one on 4chan would do anything twisted.

>>63888646
Not /k/ but close enough

>>63886702
Great, how do I install that in my office?

>>63886788
Honestly wish them luck, but I don't think they're going to have much descending a steel cable without any gear.

>>63886006
I doubt there would be many other stories. How many other people are testing the windows with thier bodies?

>>63888654
STAYVUN

>>63885528
Kek
>>63886788
You just need to explain whole half out the window that they just need to press the button to haul it up after it stops and most people would wait until the last moment to do what you describe.
Or, hear me out, you don't tell people you have it.

>>63885242 (OP)
>BASE
>tandem rig
pancake
tandems don't open fast enough

>>63885242 (OP)
It's true. I work as an associate in some high end firm and almost everyone (even the partners) were carrying laptop bags like fucking college kids

I found a nice leather briefcase from goodwill for like $50. Now I've sent it to a cobbler because I'm asking for the interior the be redone, changed the locks and add a sleevel for laptop/tablet.

>>63885528
I wish I could draw and make this a comic

This was one of the greatest /k/ threads in years certainly since covid

>>63888646
Whatever happened to Saigamarine anyway?

>>63885242 (OP)
If you're under 300 feet you can just get an ice climbing rope and a couple carabiners and Dülphersitz your way out. Don't even need a harness.

FACT: Parachute-relevant skyscraper deaths are a massive proportion of total skyscraper fatalities in the U.S

>>63892641
>Typing out an umlaut
Cringe

>>63890646
Your mother opens her legs plenty fast

>>63890653
Backpacks are better for your back

>>63892649
I'm phone posting i just hold down the ü and select the from the available options
>Wah! Wah! Phone poster! Wah!

>>63885528
>close the door and turn self into police

>>63892663
>Not just using a u
Cringe

>>63885242 (OP)
That honestly sounds sick as fuck.

>>63885528
>>63891633
>>63892478
put me in the screencap

>>63885242 (OP)
>Spends $6500 to prepare for a 0.0000001% chance happening
I hope he is trolling

>>63892657
I'm carrying paper and either an iPad or Macbook air the hell do I need a backpack for

>>63889007
That's not going to stop them and it doesn't end well for you.
>ohshit we got hit by a plane it's finally happening
>blow out the windows with the shaped charges you smuggled in weeks ago
>attach the rope
>put on the gear
>out the window and smoothly descending within 30 seconds of the impact
>almost on the ground
>Fat Albert from accounting , hands cut almost clean through by the steel cable slams into you at low subsonic velocity
>the last thing that goes through your head is the ass of a 300 pound manlet

>>63893602
*high subsonic velocity
You're dead either way, but it matters for the size of the crater.

>>63886391
They're probably saying that, like me, they saw someone bring up how tough skyscraper windows are and thought
>someone's gonna bring up that one guy who-
>yup

>>63885528
Resolutions probs shit but heres 5 minutes of effort

>>63893609
based impressionist painter anon

>>63885300
You would prefer to be burned alive? I was watching the live post-impact footage. Oddly, the Mexican channels were more apt to show the falling bodies footage (univision, ect). I would rather free fall than burn alive. That was a bad day.

>>63885320
>unbreakable windows
Automatic centerpunch. Done. You are a very unimaginative person.

>>63885458
Subtle.

>>63885474
In Irwin Allen's Towering Inferno, up.

>>63885701
>there was onlynever one instance
Who the fuck are you retards?

>>63885785
>Because you know what never dies? Pathological cynicism.
Burn.

>>63886181
>life is not an action movie.
Mine is. It's just a really boring one with great acting and fantastic locations. And the food is pretty good, too.

>>63886250
What is the point of that? Your just being extremely over cautious.

>>63888532
Cool story bro. But that doesn't answer the question, now does it?

>>63889024
Dozens of videos of "sex against the glass" failing and naked asians falling from the skies like flies.

>>63886382
/k/ can't even get custody of his kids, abd you wanna give him a BUILDING?

>>63890646
That's no excuse not to try.

>>63892649
Precision matters. That what you lack and why you and your whole generation suck.

>>63893983
>be custodian
>can't get custody

>>63893609
Go back to school.

>>63886382
Our custodians clean toilets. They are not attractive people.

>>63885320
I didn't believe it until he mentioned working for a corporate consulting firm. The people who work for places like McKinsey and Bain are a lethal combination of sociopathic, stupid, and rich.

>>63885242 (OP)
I have a policy of never living or working higher than my fire department's tallest ladder.

>>63888475
They are thick as fuck.

>>63885528
Put me in the screenshot boys!

>>63888646
He was fucking innocent you faggot.

>>63893609
Excellent anon.

>>63886256
There are usually particular words like Building Maintenance technician or something combined with "engineer".

>>63893938
I'm told it also spreads in that direction in real life as well!
now if we accept that a building's roof is its uppermost part, or at the very least situated at the upper portion thereof, we encounter the main conundrum of this little hypothetical : the fire is spreading towards the desired means of egress.

>>63886188
you put a lot of faith in office work, most of it's hr hoes sending emails back and forth and looking busy. It is mind numbing and pointless work by people who think they're hot shit with power plays and intimidation games that hold no meaning to anyone who worked alongside a convicted violent felon.

>>63885242 (OP)
Nutnfancy here, i blow dudes on my Xootr for urban survival and you should too. Heres my POU:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVkntkChnnM

>>63885242 (OP)
300ft of tubular nylon is $150, gets you down 30 stories as a rope or 12 stories as an etrier, and has the added advantages of
>not making you look like a total fucking psycho
>can be used as a tow strap
>helps you get other people out as well
>is just also a general purpose item unlike a fucking homebrew autist SPIE/Fulton rig

>>63894027
>>63885320
>The people who work for places like McKinsey and Bain are a lethal combination of sociopathic, stupid, and rich.
I believe 100% that a real person has all of this in total seriousness and plans to use it
you just know that he's played it over in his head 10 or 12 times that the building gets hit by a plane and Chris the BD assistant director floats down in his parachute to a waiting crowd of underlings staring in awe at the base of the building like fucking Toby Stephens from that scene in Die Another Day and says "damn, that was a close one" before getting in his Tesla and blasting Buckcherry to cover up the gay flying saucer sound they make when they back up

>>63885528
kek

>>63893956
>get stranded for any length of time
>have something to drink
>get hurt
>have first aid kit on hand
for a board full of preppers, some of you seem woefully underprepared
I know people that keep full emergency kits in their cars on the off chance they have to evacuate their homes for whatever reason. Food, water, toothbrush, change of clothes, etc.

>>63886342
>steelcase chairs
Are those good, I'm considering buying a leap because my other chair broke

>>63895759
>cover up the gay flying saucer sound they make when they back up
Good lord did that shit trip me out the first few EVs I ran into in the wild. It's straight out of a 60s movie

>>63895759
Yeah, I'd believe it too. And it's a sick fantasy at least, similar to the guys with quad NODs and ARs they LARP with but are also unlikely to use in anger. I hope he's at least jumped from things a few times though.

>>63885498
That was in Toronto. And the Mythbusters did test that.

>who does this guy think he is, getting his post screencapped?
>i better be extra pedantic and poke holes in all his (fake, comedy) plans

>>63895977
I would suggest going to a showroom and sitting in one for starters. Some places have loaner chairs you can bring home and test for a few days and I’d ask a staff member on tips how to adjust it or read the manual.
They’re “good” but if you’re a fat fuck I’d invest in something like a stressless office chair because they look comfy as fuck.

>>63885528
Excellent
>>63898967
Thanks anon, you're a real one

>>63885242 (OP)
Reported for off topic.
This is a weapons board, this is not a weapons thread.

Back to /pol/

>>63898967
sovlless

>>63900330
I'll take it over yet another fucking wojak

>>63900330
>v
Back to twitch faggot

>>63900677
replacing u with v is a 4channel thing newfaggot

>>63900730
I think it's a meme started by Romanoboos who want to larp as patricians as if having pasty skin makes them the spiritual heir of Marcus Aurelius.

>>63902694
>i was merely pretending to be retarded