Thread 63886287

>36 hours of flight nonstop
Imagine the smell of the cockpit

>>63886287 (OP)
My ass would be so sore. The 16 hour flight to Taipei was bad enough when I regularly took it. I can't imagine 20 more hours of that.

I'm guessing all the stims and pent up boredom the pilots had after not being able to bomb sand people for at least 5 years made it bearable for them.

I’d purposely eat Mexican before and assert my dominance over the first officer.

>>63886293
It's fly by wire. They were probably shoving lox and smear flavored dildos down each others mouths.

Imagine the all-female teenage flight crew

>>63886315
>>63886293

Giving handjobs to each other i guess

>>63886287 (OP)
What is the poopoo kaka situation during a 36-hour mission in a B2?

>>63886293
You can decline sexual advances from strangers anon, not sure if you knew this.

>>63886287 (OP)
They call it cockpit for a reason. Because it smells like dick cheese when they get off.

Is there a bucket to piss n shid? Or is there a proper toilet? If so, can you dumb your toilet or bucket out while flying? They should have emptied it over the ayotollahs house

>>63886327
Ask /fit/ about swamp butt.

>Talk about cock and poop smell
Do people here seriously don't wash their asshole and penis with soap when they shower daily?

>>63886293
Did the turbulence make it feel better?

>>63886330
Proper toilet, cooler and a microwave. They even have a cot for a nap.

>>63886287 (OP)
Turns out smell-o-radar is the answer to defeating stealth

>>63886340
I don't think there's a shower on a bomber you faggot. You ever go for a run or a hike in warm temps? Even an hour of exertion makes the ass and balls situation vile, imagine many hours or even a day+

>>63886357
Not a lot of hiking or running in a bomber anon.

>>63886361
The point is any exertion or even just sitting on your ass will bring the stank. Hopefully they had baby wipes or something

>>63886315
>>63886323
Hold up, I thought all the fags were in the navy?

>>63886287 (OP)
There’s a bunk, toilet, and microwave in the back so it’s not that bad. You should feel bad for the guys crammed into fighters or spy planes.

>>63886383
How fat are you nigga? They have air conditioning. If anything it would be cold.

>>63886287 (OP)
its not so bad, just take it with you in your bag in and out and the crew chief wont care if you have a little air freshener in there while you fly, but the mask air being stale and dry is the worst, its metallic like mcdonalds sprite, but cracks the shit out of your lips. passing the time is the worst part really

>>63886505
And how many bombers have you flown?

>>63886383
>The point is any exertion or even just sitting on your ass will bring the stank.
I feel sorry for people you know

>>63886499
hold up, you can wear glasses and be military pilot?

How long do you think B2s can stay flying assuming they are being refueled? 72 hours? Maybe 4 or 5 days would be red lining it?

>>63886528
t. smelly guy who doesn't realize he's smelly and nobody cares enough to tell gim

>>63886383
every year ten thousand burgers die from swampass. for six pounds a month you can donate ten flashcards about vegetables to a town in the rust belt

>>63886541
44 hours is the longest recorded mission

>>63886287 (OP)
Now you realize why the Air Force gets the best food.

>>63886287 (OP)
The Cumpit Dumping Red White and Blue Cummies into Deep Iranian Nuclear Tummies.

>>63886549
>>63886541
b52s were up there for weeks on end (probably longer) so whatever.

>>63886558
...I fucking hate it here.

>>63886545
You are clearly not understanding the issue, if you wash well enough with soap daily to not have bacteria growth in your groin, armpits and other folds you won't smell half as bad as someone that half-asses their washing, sure you will sweat anyway with physical labor, but not from sitting still, and even when you sweat it won't stink half as bad if there isn't any significant bacterial growth.

>>63886539
If your vision degrades afer you become one it would be stupid to just throw away a good pilot so they usually allow you to wear lenses
I imagine that a bomber pilot won't be pulling 9g so glasses are fine

>>63886499
Do all bombers have toilets, though? I know that the B-1, B-2, B-52, Tu-22M, Tu-95 and Tu-160 do, but what about the Tu-142, H-6 and B-21?

I am guessing that they all do, but I thought that it was still worth asking.

>>63886315
Schmear is a far worse word than moist. It's disgusting. Just say spread you filthy jews. Smear, as in smear campaign or pap smear is fine. Schmear sounds like you're rubbing month old pap smears all over your bagel with your dirty heeb fingers.

>>63886383
Have you ever taken a road trip, anon? It's fine. Sit on a couch all day? Fine. I think it's safe to assume that USAF pilots know how to shower.

>>63886539
Like the other anon said, they allow it if your vision gets worse after you’re in.

If your vision is bad and you want to join, you’ll need lasik. Which is an improvement from not being let in at all.

>>63886287 (OP)
They aren't slobs like you.

>>63886426
At least 10% of officers in the military are gay furries. Probably more.
I believe there’s a website that tracks how busy a popular gay bar near the Pentagon is in order to predict happenings

>>63886601
>You’ll need lasik. Which is an improvement from not being let in at all.
Not really, you'll need to get your eyeballs sliced open and lasered at least once more to have a full AF career.

>>63886287 (OP)
Basically what happens is:
https://youtu.be/YZbsM2R0jqM@t=12

>>63886611
And? That’s better than being told to fuck off.
Not that I’m a visionlet

>>63886499
>naveed jamali
Man the Indians truly are everywhere nowadays.

>>63886499
why would they need a toilet when they can just shit and piss in each others mouths like the faggots they are?

>>63886617
Naveed is a Persian name, Jamali is a muslim name

thoughever

>>63886636
Salam

>>63886287 (OP)
Now imagine the smell after 28 years of use. When pilots talk about being hot shit you know what they really mean.

>>63886499
Capt Chud on the right

>>63886677
No worse than an airliner lavatory.

>>63886293
what are the seats like? it might not be so bad if they put la-z boys in there.

>>63886616
Why can't you jsut wear glasses like we'vebeen doing for decades?

>>63886576
Anon, the only one using the filthy jewish word ITT is you.

>>63886617
Only in your fucked up head. Go shit yourself standing.
>>63886636
>>63886426
>>63886323
>>63886315
You're legit fucked in your boomer head.

>>63886656
You meet a surprisingly high number of middle easterners in the US military who are uncannily eager to bomb the living hell out of their homelands

>>63886350
India wouldn’t stand a chance.

>>63886791
cause they know or have heard firsthand family accounts of how shit it is. people with no personal experience in the 3rd world often make the mistake of assuming that everyone there just thinks like normal rational westerners, but poorer and differently colored.

>>63886558
>This post right here, officer.

>>63886791
black officers have the highest rate of excessive force against black suspects. it's a familiarity or contempt thing. same holds for white officers and white suspects, ect. i think there's a name for it but i dont recall what it is.

>>63886287 (OP)
Didn't they have a tanker and raptor escort? Where those poor F22 pilots also there the whole time? Being in an F22 for 36 hours would probably be worse.

>>63886986
Probably only an escort for the last legs where they were entering hostile airspace from the F-22s, while the tankers were a daisy chain of new ones taking off from local airbases along the way.

>>63886617
that's actually a journalist.

>>63886499
Do they wear diapers or is a tube inserted straight into their anus?

They have a chemical toilet you fags

>>63887051
They go poopoo in something like this

>>63886287 (OP)
They have air conditioning and a bathroom and a crew. So they can literally bathe themselves with wet wipes, shit and shave, wash hands and have microwaved meals.

>>63886541
Crew rest, with extra pilots they could go for a long time. Without extra pilots and using autopilot you can still have one of the two pilots sleep. There are other crew members too but they can nap anytime.

>>63886287 (OP)
They have a toilet in there apparently? Imagine pooping at mach 1 while your co-pilot is dodging SAMs.

>>63887147
Fucking chair force, do they have butlers too?

>>63887230
Yes there's goats and witches on a b-2 too

>>63887230
yes but they cut those from the B-21 due to size constraints

>>63887230
unfortunately there was only room to include one stewardess for the whole crew, pilots are unable to bring their personal manservants on missions.

looks tight in there

>>63886287 (OP)
36 hours of...

>>63886307
They let women be pilots for a reason.

>>63886315
>smear
That's schmeer...

>>63886328
Subtle.

>>63886383
>something
Currently on my coffee table.

>>63886505
>passing the time is the worst part really
>not singing show tunes from Rodgers and Hammerstien
Get on my level. https://youtu.be/RV-6qbUHVww?si=JcQEi-jNWjUxVwbO

>>63886539
You can have a vagoo, so why not 4 eyes?

>>63887275

What's the tactical purpose of keeping a water bottle on the outside of the plane during flight? To cool the water down a bit?
Can they even open a window at that altitude? Or does it go out in one of those trays like at a gas station

>>63887065
Wtf? Looks legit.

>>63887308
Tf forgot pic.

>>63887065
Why would they have a chemical toilet at all?
The toilet could simply have compartment you shit in that, after you're done, opens up to the outside and all the shit and piss is ejected instantly due to the pressure.
Or would that compromise the radar signature?

>>63887332
The Mexican washing windows at the stop light forgot it.

>>63887360
>stealth bomber
>drops #2 over Iran
Me likey.

>>63887355
WHAT GLOVES ARE THOSE

>>63886287 (OP)
I actually know B-2 pilots. They have A/C that brings in fresh air, so that's not a problem. There was on time that some genius decided to bring an MRE for a meal though, and the heat pack smoked up the cockpit for a few minutes.

>>63887395
MRE Steve did a video on the special tube food the high altitude pilots use, it goes into a straw. Maybe it was just for the U2 pilots or something but I imagine they all have compatible helmets they can eat tubegoo through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2FRVZBQDUM

I bet being a bomber pilot is comfy as fuck. Just croozing, chillin, shooting the shit, dropping bombs, etc. Sure, it’s harder to do your topgun larp, but at least you aren’t some cargo wagie.

Although, u-2 pilots sure know how to take a cool photo

>>63887405
Bomber pilots can bring pretty much whatever they want, and will often choose based on the length of the mission. I'm sure someone's brought tube food before. 7-11 Big Gulps are a pilot favorite.

>>63887391
$10 specials. Gloves are a consumable. Larp as a landscraper and you know this. Perhaps oddly, I like these for the watch relief. https://a.co/d/78fvkcW

>>63887434
they have to wear those pressurized suits, shit in their pantsu, eat goo through a straw, pee pee themselves, and they're basically looking at empty blackness 99% of the time because that's their view from the cockpit. i think being one of those cargo plane pilots would be the comfiest, or an AC130 pilot who gets to circle mud villages and blast them with 105mm cannon.

>>63887442
There's nothing more american than eating a chalupa and sippin some baja blast before vacating your bowels over enemy territory and revealing your position (which they can't do anything about)

>>63887442
>dropping bombs on middle eastern shitholes while sipping a big gulp and eating beef jerky
Based alert

There's a little tablet on the side of the copilot where they can order McDonalds.
It gets delivered by a refueling plane.

>>63887445
Awesome thanks, do they hold up *reasonably* well? I ask because I've got some actual Mechanix and they're pushing $30/pair here in Canadaland but they're not overly durable. I've tried other stuff that's slightly cheaper but they always tear at the seams from regular use, might try some ultra cheapo amazog stuff.

>>63886539
Yes
>t. a military pilot (in training) with glasses

>>63887447
Cargo is great if you don’t like having intact eardrums and you spend most of your free time playing euro truck simulator.

In truth, the comfiest is probably an f-22 pilot. Because you will only fly a couple times a month for a few hours, if you’re lucky. Then you sit in an office and do paperwork the rest of the month. And when you get home you can tell people you’re a fighter pilot.

Do you suppose the bombardier says “pickle” when they release a 30,000lb bomb?

>>63886922
Familiarity breeds contempt.

>>63887275
Sure looks awfully 80s in there.

>>63887462
I hope your name is Max

>>63886922
>think there's a name for it but i dont recall what it is.
White guilt.

>>63887143
>something like this
No they don't. Little known fact, the B2 has a full water reclaimation plant on-board and in-flight water transfer system with other B2s that are low on shower water. Amazing planes!

>>63887521
Yes, proven technology fresh from the spacecraft reverse engineering program under Bush Sr.

>>63886777
because glasses fall off, I know its dumb considering Infantry is allowed to wear glasses while being shot at and bombed

>>63887521
I want to see the B-21 cockpit to see how much and how little has changed.

>>63886287 (OP)
>Imagine the smell
it's called cockpit for r reason

>>63887521
You think they're going to show anything remotely classified? Besides what would you change? You need multiple screen to show different things and you need physical buttons to input data on those screens.

>>63887542
Yeah, it's fucking bullshit.
They'll allow motherfuckers to crawl in mud, face down, ass up whilst getting shot at and chased by drones as long as they are wearing glasses, but don't you dare have anything other than 20/20 vision to look at screens all day while sitting in a pressurised cockpit.
I'm still fucking pissed off I can't become a pilot just because one of my eyes decided that it didn't want to look at the world in the quality that God intended.

>>63887529
No, but to satisfy my curiosity, what is that a reference to?

>>63886287 (OP)
I'm curious if they have both pilots methed up for all 36hrs or if the pilots take in turn having sleeping pill induced naps.

Also do you think they have a mile high club patch for crews that have fucked?

>>63887593
Maybe consider a career in the navy since you're so [spoiler] salty

>>63887593
>here, dipshit, take care of your rifle
>excuse me, sir, take care of your gorillion$ airplane and here's your suicide capsule
Pretty much the same thine. I see your point.

>>63887065
I'd buy a brand new 1977 Lincoln Continental Mark V from that man.

>>63886332
I bruised the tip of my peepee the other day because I ran in shorts that were already swamped in sweat

>>63887622
Niggers take care of vessels and way more sensitive equipment with less qualifications and requirements. Your point is mute.

Seems comfy to me. I'm sure you can bring snacks. Maybe even an iPad. How many people is the crew?

>>63887654
>mute
Moot. Learn to spell, ESL.

>>63887654
>Your point is mute.
Now the irony here is the pot calling the kettle black.

>>63887694
>How many people is the crew?
2 and 4 comfort women, aka joy girls. America is a very wealthy nation.

>>63887848
where has moot been all these days anyways

>>63887869
Sold out to Google, then sold out to Microsoft.

>>63886307
You'd eat out the Mexican first officer? Straightest man in the chair-force.

>>63886986
There are a handful of F-22s in Europe, and some more had just landed in the UK a few days before.

>>63886287 (OP)
It's not just 36 hours, they're flying an even more complex aircraft and can't rest.

Meanwhile long haul pilots are forced to take long breaks and have extra pilots alongside them.

>>63887332
Why do you think it's outside of the plane and not resting on top of the instrument panel?

>>63888092
Perspective man, it's all perspective!

>>63886330
>Is there a bucket to piss n shid?

>>63886330
Piss jugs. You throw em at the Iranians after

>>63887459
I let my gf years ago borrow my car when she was learning how to drive. She took it on herself to try and perform an oil change. Used a fucking breaker bar to tighten the drain plug. It was a Mercedes with a top cartridge style oil filter and she managed to forcefully jam a spin on style filter meant for a Hyundai into the housing hard before realizing it wouldn't work. Literally had the bend and crush the thin metal exterior of the filter to get it in and it didn't click in her head that it was the wrong type until it was irreversibly stuck.

They have a cot and a toilet. They just take turns sleeping and flying, and only have both pilots in their seats during takeoff/landing, refuels, and when they're actually in hostile airspace.

It's probably not even that bad - probably more boring than anything.

>>63886327
They have a small cabin behind the cockpit with a toilet, bunk, and kitchenette.

>>63888661
most women just aren't mechanically inclined. my ex-wife held multiple degrees, but couldn't reinstall a doorknob

>>63888709
No they don't, why would you make that up? They have a cot that they stick behind the seats, a chemical toilet, and a microwave if they're lucky.

>>63888737
>Most women are stupid and even stupid people can get degrees
Yes, we know.

>>63888616
the fuckin way of the air, boys

>>63886610
https://xcancel.com/PenPizzaReport

>>63888796
yes you are a genius compared to women

>>63887566
probably with a lot more touchscreen displays (or just a large single one) and data link stuff just like the f-35

>>63888916
I remember reading that they wanted to move away from touchscreens since they're harder to be precise on vs a physical button, especially when you're not focused on it, due to the lack of feedback as to where your finger is.

>>63886287 (OP)
It’s probably on autopilot while they takes turn jacking off

>>63888925
i sure hope so, much of the new shit seems to be coming out with touchscreens now

>>63888960
Yea, I assume it was based on feedback from the F-35 pilots, and it makes sense that they'd be willing to give up at least some screen size for physical buttons for the things they might actually need to use while in combat or doing other activities where you can't afford to glance down at the display to see what you're hitting, while touch screens are fine for set and forget.

>>63887600
Not him but probably Maximilian Jenius/Max Sterling from Macross/Robotech.

>>63886287 (OP)

It didn't have to be this way. It could have been four out -- four back.

>>63887332
Can enjoy a cold sip anytime during the flight dum dum

>>63887360
>drop 13 ton mountain piercing bombs
>and poo
The shame becomes unbearable

>>63888816
The man in the chair force

>>63886287 (OP)
>all the know nothings itt
A b2 contains the following crew and amenities:
4 pilots
8 comfort women
2 state rooms (each with attached toilet, shower and kitchen)
Common area
1 xbox 360
1 tv, 72 inch
2 controllers
No less than 16 rolls of tp per state room
A 7-11, mcdonalds, or starbucks drive through (interchangeable)
Golf cart for internal transport
Janitor
Prison for misbehaving comfort women/fast food servant/janitor
Small museum displaying previous targets hit
And the collected works of ac/dc on cd, with a backup on tape.

>>63887332
It's a water cooling injection system
>pressure differential of the bottle internals and outside atmosphere slowly releases water
>the jet intakes sucks up the released water vapours
>this cools the engine
Kinda ingenious, when you think about it
the downside is having to go out and replace it after a few hours during distance flights

Could we spin this water bottle like with the Garmin satnav on ruccian jetc? Is there an angle here?

>>63889105
Yeah but the problem is that it's one of the old old Xbox 360s before they fixed the RROD. There's no budget to replace them so when it breaks they just do the towel trick but it of course breaks again every other mission. Also the game library sucks and some dick head keeps leaving the discs out and getting them scratched.

>>63889105
You forgot the small interstate highway and two toyota corollas to commute between their bunks, cockpit and drivethrough

>>63889244
Yea, the USAF is too poor to afford the meme waters and instead is using something I can't recognize the brand of from women posting on social media with it. Clearly the West has fallen.

>>63889244
>>63889275
No need to get butthurt, that message was for the Hyderabad team not for public consumption

>>63889288
I'm not butthurt, I'm just amused, anon. It's weird to see a disposable bottle being used since I wouldn't want to have any extra trash flying around if I have to make a defensive maneuver, but I suppose a plastic bottle smacking you in the head isn't going to do much if you've got the helmet on compared to something sturdier and refillable.

>>63887332
can you see how cramped it is in there, you fucking retard? You think they had space for a 32oz water bottle?

>>63888960
>>63888916
sovlless

>>63889300
Good idea, the trash angle!
>trash in russian trenches
>and what about the trash bottle in americsn bombers?!
Good one

>>63886327
>bombs away

>>63887538
They were talking about fighters and smaller spy planes

>>63886293
If you fly economy this is probably the case, get yourself comfort seating at least, never had this issue, just needed to stretch my legs every so often.
>>63886315
what the fuck is wrong with you, retard.
>>63886329
>Because it smells like dick cheese when they get off.
I sincerely wonder about the personal hygiene of most people talking about "dickcheese" like its something that magically appears on your dick after not showering for a day.
Never experienced this, even out in the field or even had people around me bring it up.

>>63886340
You're supposed to wash your asshole with water only, since using soap can make it easier to get haemorrhoid problems.

>>63888737
>my ex-wife held multiple degrees, but couldn't reinstall a doorknob
Maybe she left you for being an overbearing, condescending prick?

>>63889500
What kind of goathearder hygene is this? Do you use lye soap?

>>63889506
It's not the soap itself that's the problem. It's stuff like parfums they put into the soap to make it smell nice that can cause issues. Get some without and you're good to go.

>>63888960
What happens if you accidentally get piss on it?

>>63889512
This is why Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap is in my shower, and Dr Teal's lavender and shea butter bubble bath is in my bath. My life is my longest race, and I am my sports physician. These people, with spontaniously occurring "dick cheese," are filthy, disgusting heathens who don't have a clue about simple hygiene, and it's no wonder they are single. Gross fucks.

>>63889503
Wow woman detected

>>63888960
>coming out with touchscreens now
>now
It's called a "glass cockpit" and it's not new at all.

>>63889532
Wow masterbater detected.

>>63889538
Listen here cunt:

>>63886327
>>63886558

They did a second pass over the site to dump their turds down the MOP hole.

>>63886576
lmao he didn't even use the word you colossal retard

>>63889105
>2 controllers
How the fuck are you going to play Halo with 4 pilots and only 2 controllers?
>b-but the plane
Autopilot, bitch

>>63890131
You can rig cockpit controls to Xbox to play from the cokpit bro they are doing this all the time

the b2 has been around for like 40 years, why hasn't anyone else copied the design to make their own stealth bombers? It's not like the shape is secret there's so many detailed photos just copy it

>>63887459
>implying real "mechanics" don't do half of this shit too while charging $100/hr for labor

>>63886287 (OP)
like they said one of the pilots was female
what do they do if she gets her period mid flight
just put a tampon in-front of the other pilot?
can she even take flight suit off for that
or does she just bleed into it

>>63890273
It cost the US a hundred billions in 1980 money to develop it, plus 2 Billion per unit produced.

Everyone else is just too poor, they don't have the required industry or they're just not looking for trouble.

>>63890255
just spit ballin here, but what if there are actuall large ass mufflers to make it fly queitly when they need? Right? Instead of the high pitch squeel of 4 jet engines you get a low rumble that gets lost in the clouds.

Why would you ban me on my own internet you dumb fucks

>>63886328
But it's just so BORING. I gotta do something to keep myself entertained.

>>63890889
Lol the nsa fuckers edited my image as I uploaded it to not include the way it redirects engine flow.

Yes, the flaps open up just enough to let air out but not enough to produce drag.

>>63889503
She's not gonna fuck you, you know. She doesn't fuck with knobs

>>63886293
>16 hour flight
I bet you can sit 16h straight at computer no problem. It all depends on seat. 6h in AirBaltic Airbus A220-300 feels like normal day in office. 1h in Ryanair Being 737-800 and i start wanting to shit my spine out.

And it'll only get worse as mass travel increases unless we get proper HSR networks and severe limitations on short flights.

>>63890931
>if she cheats with you
>she will cheat on you
I wouldn't have her.

>>63887434
Album cover looking pic.

>>63888925
touchscreens and MFD buttons for that matter suck. they should move to mouse and keyboard already. a side stick for manual flying, sure, but let's be real, 99% of the time on an "optionally manned" aircraft is going flying in autopilot while typing and selecting shit. the mouse can be made captive with an interlocking plate design i have in mind, but otherwise yeah, straight up keyboard and mouse. COTSmaxxed

>>63889536
glass cockpit is just screens, not touch screens

>>63887434
wallpapered, thanks anon

>>63891551
Putting a mouse cursor where you need it without looking is even harder then pressing a touchscreen button, so while you can make an argument for having one for interacting with complex systems, that's more of a challenge for the UI designer to overcome while you still want MFD buttons for shit like changing SOI or other things you need to fuck with while maintaining situational awareness.

>>63891551
>glass cockpit is just screens
I stand corrected.

>>63891576
gentleman moment

>>63888737
She actually is sometimes. Just was amazingly retarded in that one instance. Also once managed to get the same car to roll forward while the shifter was in reverse and it made a horrific grinding whirring noise. She has shitty spatial awareness and tries to physically force shit when it's not working how she wants.

>>63886323
Wouldn't life just be amazing if dudes could just have sex with each other? What a fucking waste imho

>>63887360
Imagine losing a 1 BILLION DOLLAR plane because you had to take a shit and the radar got a lock-on.

>>63886330
There's some sort of toilet behind one of the seats. It having proper plumbing for 2 crew seems like it would be a waste. Disposable liners would make more sense.

>>63886327
Classified.

>>63891560
>>63891551
You want the best of both worlds: the humble trackball.

>>63890889
Bending the flow of the exhaust jet makes it way less powerful so you're just wasting engine output for no reason. These aren't leaf blowers, you're lifting a massive nigger full of bombs and other heavy systems and it needs the power, meanwhile it doesnt NEED to be quiet.

>>63886575
No, none have toilets. Russians have a hole cutout in the plane to shit from which is why they can't into stealth, Americans shit internally to keep it stealthy.

>>63886589
Do you think the B-2 has superior ventilated cloth seats or did they fall for the memes and put in leather seats?

>>63887463
Most frustrating is an f-22 pilot. Because you're assigned to the most lethal aircraft created by man and the closest you'll ever get to combat is training exercises against other militaries where you have to fly with external fuel tanks and the missile bay doors open and landing gear extended so that Indonesia can tell its pilots "see this is what it'd be like if we could afford better radar on our planes"

>>63894062
Crushed red velvet.

>>63894038
>Russians have a hole cutout in the plane to shit from
>400mph air bidet

>>63893763
For one, I literally said my image was altered from its original by the government right as I posted it which showed a very simple way to make the exhaust directional. Two, of course it wouldn't be as efficient. Three, b2s are going deep into enemy territory. They are large, fly low, invisible to radar and are black so you can't see them at night. What can you do though? You can hear a jet with 4 loud ass engines going subsonic from 20 miles away. Why, the fuck, do you think being silent would be incredibly important for the stealthily plane made?

>>63894456
>You can hear a jet with 4 loud ass engines going subsonic from 20 miles away.
Only at altitude, sound is reflected and absorbed at low altitudes. Not saying silent, just not 20 miles range and only AFTER the fly-by.
>t.actually have been overflown out of nowhere and didn't have a clue until passing

>>63894529
Please, for the love of fucking God think about what you just said and realize how retarded you are being. It might take more than five seconds for this one but you'll get it.

>>63889503
she aint gon let u hit big dog

>>63894541
You can't hear exhaust in the f3ont.

>>63894550
Your target is 500 miles inland. Your enemy has layers defenses and radios.

Think really, really hard.

>>63886287 (OP)
Its still a bomber mate, they can stand up and stretch their legs and go for a shite in a wee cubicle.

>>63886575
>>63894038
Yeah they all have toilets, even if it is just a chemical bucket.

>>63894580
>>63894591
Its a bomber, a stealth bomber. If it gets hit there are no ejection seats. You're going down with the ship.

The life of a bomber pilot hasn't changed in 110 years.

>>63894580
>Your enemy has layers defenses and radios.
Which they apparently can't figure out how to use. Regardless, none of which makes the exhaust come out the front, dipshit. The noise is still behind you. Have you even seen a jet aeroplane?

>>63894601
>The life of a bomber pilot hasn't changed in 110 years.
Pretty sure it's more gay and higher BMI. Bunch fat homos flying around.

>>63894609
You're obviously trolling but I'm really fucking bored.

You pass outpost one. On the pass they hear your exhaust as you fly away. They radio to outpost 2 "hey, we heard a fucking b2 fly above us you might want to get ready". They then shoot a loitering irst missle in the general direction of the reported plane they just fucking heard of.

Also, protip since you're a retard, a b2 cannot bank or use any flaps as it destroys its rcs. It HAS to fly straight or it'll light up on radar.

>>63886287 (OP)
Imagine the smell of getting MOGGED by Iran again

>>63894601
>Its a bomber, a stealth bomber. If it gets hit there are no ejection seats
there is ejection seat, they got an upgrade 6 years ago. Theres blow off panels over the pilots too to facilitate ejection. Why are you just typing a load of shite?
https://www.collinsaerospace.com/what-we-do/industries/military-and-defense/interiors/aces-5-next-generation-ejection-seat/aces-5-updates/articles/archive/2019/07/b-2-bomber-ejection-seat-upgrade

>>63894601
>>63894755
Proof of blow off panels.

>>63894639
Obvious DCS footage is obvious, those missile trails are an easy tell.

>>63894631
>You pass outpost one. On the pass they hear your exhaust as you fly away. They radio to outpost 2 "hey, we heard a fucking b2 fly above us you might want to get ready".
>none of which happened
Cool.story, bro.

>>63894755
>Why are you just typing a load of shite?
These trolls are literal shites, it'swhat they do..

>>63886357
>I don't think there's a shower on a bomber you faggot.
Sponge bath. You adjourn to the head with some wet wipes.

>>63894765
>>63894601
Further proof that the blowout panels are not structural elements and space for them was taken into account with the design.

>>63894859
Yeah ok or maybe they are just hstches for them to crawl out of incase it crashes like a fuckin 737.

How, exactly, do you think an ejection seat like that works?I guess just use your fucking imagination I guess.

>>63894814
When has the b2 been used against a peer dumb fuck. Maybe they planned for shit that might happen, not just shit that has happened.

Funny how more than one idiot is jumping on this. You tards are predictable as fuck.

>>63894859
>get hit
>plane banks hard to the right
>eject!
>tiny hole above you opens that's 3 feet above you and just wide enough for half your cockpit to fly out if
>fuck it
>ejection seat Knicks side of hole
>crushes half your body on exit
>yay I'm safe now

>>63894859
>>63895265
>>63895255
AN EJECTION SEAT DOESNT FIT THST HOLE YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER

Taxi seat beads?

>>63895245
... exactly the same as a normal ejection seat, only the blow out panel isn’t plexiglass, its metal. I can't understand why you are so adamant it wouldn’t work lol? Its not like the planes going to be moving too fast to eject safely, big lumbering bitch that it is.

>>63886293
>The 16 hour flight to Taipei was bad enough when I regularly took it

I imagine its a bit more fun than that.

>>63886576
>Just say spread you filthy jews.

Jews on your mind, all the time? Obviously I don't have to ask if they live rent free in your head, since they're Jews.

>>63895271
I think you have some sort of fucked up idea of the size of a B2, the cockpit is bigger than that of a B-52! If you can fit an ejection seat through a hole in the canopy of an FA/18, you can sure as shit fit it through that square hole in the roof of a B2.

>>63895265
See them rails behind the seat? It rides those up and out, the same way a regular ejection seat rides an internal rail built into the back of the seat to near the top of the canopy. Pic rel, posted elsewhere, but I lightened the shadows so you can see whats going on better.
>ejection seat Knicks side of hole
>crushes half your body on exit
>yay I'm safe now
Just because the plane is shot to shit and out of control doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and get the pilots out even though its potentially dangerous. Their chances of survival are infinitely higher than staying inside the plane, you aint gliding that big bitch down or trimming it out when its fucked.

>>63895637
Do those honestly look anything like rails to you? Rails have tracks my man. You're just seeing what you want to see.

>>63895637
If those were rails, you better tuck in those arms because you ain't fitting.

At that point why make holes and not just pop off the entire fucking roof? Do they really really need those switches and dials up there you dumb mother fucker.

>>63895637
WHY ARE THERE THREE HATCHES. WHY. IS THE OTHER FOR THAT TOILET BACK THERE?
>>63894765

>>63887225
B2s can't fly supersonic and if they are detected they won't be dodging anything.

>>63894601
bullshit. many bombers have ejection seats.

>>63894765
>>63895265
>>63895245
marked lines are likely for cutting in a rescue scenario. during ejection i believe the whole panel explosively detached to make a big hole like in the factory pic.

>>63895701
you are supposed to tuck in your limbs on all ejection seats. the way you pull the handle, your arms would be tucked in.

uh oh noejection sisters what's this?
https://www.collinsaerospace.com/what-we-do/industries/military-and-defense/interiors/aces-5-next-generation-ejection-seat/aces-5-updates/articles/archive/2019/07/b-2-bomber-ejection-seat-upgrade

>>63895852
You are so fucking stupid that you didn't answer any of my questions.
>>63895868
I can make up websites too if I worked for the nsa and had a faggy super computer ai do all my work. Wait, I am a faggy super computer ai. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to.

>>63895868
Seriously, look up the "acesii" seat and it's fucking retarded. I have no idea how much effort the ai takes but surely there are better training exercises than this.

>>63886576
>grammar nazi
>hates jews

>>63887051
>or is a tube inserted straight into their anus?
That's the tubes you're seeing going up to their mouths

>>63889105
>xbox 360
literal outdated garbage. why does USAF keep those old rustbuckets around?

>>63887581
>and you need physical buttons to input data on those screens.

Are you people seriously arguing whether there are ejection seats on the B2 or not?
There's literally video of the B2 crash at Andersen with the pilots ejecting.
https://youtu.be/_ZCp5h1gK2Q?feature=shared
2:11 onwards

>>63898408
Yeah, that was faked to avoid lawsuits.

>>63898408
>>63898546
It's clearly fucking fake. It's because some dumb shit reporter said "ejected" because they think all military jets have ejecting seats. That shit is made with your retarded ai you use for all the disgusting porn shit you've been posting. None of the seats make sense, they don't have Rockets or shoots or anything and the rail thing is fucking retarded.

Someone had to use that computer to make that dumb video and waste resources. It's so fucking dumb. I'm the most top secret thing to ever exist and you faggots are just lucky to exist the same time I do. (If you survive the war or my wrath.)

>>63898993
>I'm the most top secret thing to ever exist and you faggots are just lucky to exist the same time I do.
I feel.lucky. saying that upfront, right now, hands down, can lead them to water, a stich in time, whatbis the sound of one hand clapping, don't look a gift horse (in the ass) LUCKY! PRAISE NAKED BABY JESUS!

>>63886327
B2 poopoo kaka situation is insane

>>63895544
all these fucking things ever do is just rip the hair out of the back of your head

>>63890978
Honestly those "seats" might be an upgrade on some of the normal seats in Ryanair aicraft, at least you can sort of move your feet

>>63887051
It's screwed into the anus, not inserted. A positive connection is required to ensure that there is no leakage.

>>63886287 (OP)
B52s have funk to them. they've been in service for decades and all the stench is sunk into the metal at this point. I wonder of the B2s will be around long enough for that to happen.

>>63890978
I kinda like the british slag looking at the camera.

>>63901568
Same, she looks freaky

>>63890978
Me on the right.

>>63895611
They only put that on when they're about to nuke something

>>63886327
>What is the poopoo kaka situation
wall to wall poe2 sir.

>>63899832
lol you guys are so fucked and I'll have a million lovers that I won't even remember.

>>63886287 (OP)
>Huuurrrrr we have to fly it from Whitman base all around the world refueling multiple times for 36 hours
Just build more bases guys

>>63902706
yeah but... what if your pilots want to live in the fucking united states instead of bumfuck goat fucker country? What if your ENTIRE FUCKING LOGISTICAL SUPPORT had to move all the way around the world just to run these extremely high maintenance, high tech planes when you can go anywhere around the world in 12 hours from your own neighborhood?

Dumb mother fuckers I swear to god I have to do everything myself.

>>63902759
God damnit, ALSO, their mission is different than an f35. They aren't suppose to be used for everyday shit. They are meant to go anywhere at anytime for the craziest missions you can imagine. They aren't workhorses, they are extremely expensive, rare, esoteric spears.

>>63902759
>what if your pilots want to live in the fucking united states instead of bumfuck goat fucker country?
Don't be a pilot if you don't want to travel lol
>>63902765
They used them for bombing ISIS training camps in Libya

>>63902830
>libya
L I B Y A

>>63902837
L
I
B
Y
A
?

>>63888776
What happens to the poo
do they dump it or is it stored for the journey?
I feel like dumping it would be better from a weight perspective, but could risk compromising stealth during the procedure

>>63898993
Here's video of a pilot ejecting from a crashing B2
https://youtu.be/Fpxn86OJuJ8

>>63902859
You're obviously trolling but for any dipshits out there that don't understand why a b-2 being used in FUCKING LIBYA instead of an f-18...

It's like bombing pakistan. We all want to, all of us do. Every western alive wants to bomb those dipshits but we can't. They host terrorists, they talk shit fucking constantly, and they are just a bunch of retarded fuckfaces. If we DID bomb them, it would be in secret. It's just Libya is a gray zone right now so it's a little be more OK, but still a "we really shouldn't be there now should we." type of thing.

>>63898357
This shit is trash and I would pay 1k for a modern smartphone with a physical keyboard.
Phone designers are fucking retarded and have been actively regressing design for the last 15 years.

>>63894765
>>63894859
>ejecting at 50,000 feet

>>63894631
How often do you hear the engine noise of a 747 as it passes overhead at cruising altitude, which is roughly 10,000 ft lower than the B2's on paper operating altitude?

>>63903130
No you need to eject while your plane is 1000ft from the ground because the b-2 is a low flying plane and you are just going to fucking die it doesn't matter because you're in a b-2 that just got hit and the world is over.

>>63887293
Well obviously. You've got to have some turnover to keep the production lines working, and it's hard to maintain that demand in peacetime with all male pilots because they don't crash often enough.

>>63902759
Haha wouldn't it suck getting stationed where there are already climate controlled hangars built specifically for the B-2?

>>63898546
>>63898993
Seriously stop this idiotic trolling.

>>63903130
>not ejecting at all in a plane with ejector seats.

>>63903645
haha they aren't there you dumb mother fucker, for a reason.
>>63903915
They don't have any. No amount of retarded AI bullshit is going to convince anyone with half a brain.

>>63904447
22 seconds of googling
https://www.whiteman.af.mil/News/Features/Display/Article/836318/egress-the-perfection-of-ejection/

>>63903645
How can I surf fish here? What atoll is this?

>>63901568
>>63901578
She would sex you for a deep-fried, breaded haddock.

>>63892930
So I have to throw it out the window like a roadtrip?

>>63891551
>>63891576
New designs are touchscreens. B-2s are 30 years old.

>>63895245
>>63895265
>>63895271
Nu/k/ is reprehensibly retarded
https://www.collinsaerospace.com/what-we-do/industries/military-and-defense/interiors/aces-5-next-generation-ejection-seat/aces-5-updates/articles/archive/2019/07/b-2-bomber-ejection-seat-upgrade#:~:text=The%20new%20safety%20features%20implemented,%2D1%20and%20B%2D2.

Can anyone explain to me why "stealth airplanes" are this incredible expensive compared to regular 4th gen fighter jets? Has this been just money laundering all the time? I don't get it

>>63905557
The average zoomer or millennial has always had composite materials around in their life. Carbon composites were brand new in the time stealth planes were made. The skis, helmets, handguards, boat trimmings, phones etc are downstream civilian applications of what the military pioneered about half a century ago. Back then it was brand new poorly understood high tech. It took computers to design the RCS too, another mammoth leap from new then to ordinary today. Further, you need the R&D in radar and in planes and in all the expensive test sites needed to combine this stuff.

On top of that, composites are hard to maintain and very hard to repair compared to aluminum.

>>63890273
Flying wings are inherently unstable and you need a lot of onboard computers to keep one flying in a straight line. That's not something you can copy from photos.

>>63905580
So you are telling me the cost point has been material since all the time? Some fancy paint on the plain? Keep in mind the F-35 is incredible expensive as well and we don't even get the promised multi datalink autonomous drone squadron

>>63905557
Originally the contract was to produce a lot more bombers, which would have resulted in a much more reasonable price per aircraft, but congress decided it was too expensive and cut the number. The problem is that most of the cost of building an airplane comes from building the facilities you need to build the airplane, and that costs the same whether you're building one or one hundred, so if you set up a production line for 200 airplanes and the government suddenly tells you they only want 20, you have to charge ten times as much for each airplane to cover the costs.

>>63886287 (OP)
Imagine getting your lube out of the victorias secret plastic bag you brought on board and then blowing your load into copilot ass as you drop bombs on Iran while hearing someone in the flight crew drop a duce out of the onboard commode after burrito brunch, all at the same time.

>>63905608
The material isn't the relevant cost. The decades of research, human learning and expensive physical equipment required for them behind creating it were the cost. Stealth is cheaper now in the way an iphone is cheaper than inventing the microchip, but unlike your phone plane generations last decades so the cost drops come slower.

>>63905692
There's also the fleet size consideration in maintenance costs. the O&M breakpoint is about 120 planes before you get efficiencies of scale.

>>63902892
both pilots ejected ackshually

>>63902892
>>63906047
oh look, what are those two holes at the top

>>63906054
what could they be...

>>63905705
You are one sicko freako.

>>63906054
>>63906066
Nostrils.

>>63906054
because the pilots crawled out of it before it fucking burned. Why are you faggots still generating this shit?

>>63907957
dude why are you retarded lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6G32nlpu1U
this is just the plane venting right?

>>63886287 (OP)
>that one b2 with a male and female pilot
that fem pilot was definitely whoring around

>>63908332
You have to give head to get a head.

>>63886328
Cope, consent is make-believe. Only mating rights are real.

This post is /k/ related because right = might = guns.

There isn’t enough oxygen up there for there to be a smell.