The Gods are bored. They are placing you in command of a random military. Spin the wheel, pursue your fate.

>Our Glorious Military
https://random.country

>Our Best Weapon
https://google.com/search?q=wikipedia+list+of+equipment+COUNTRY

>Our Arch Nemesis
eg. North Torbia
https://odin.tradoc.army.mil/DATE/437d3e350241798be91b40b4c57b5ed1

>Our Grand 5-Year Plan
How we will crush our enemies, stdbu & htlotw. If you want to do a budget, use a standard % of GDP or explain how you're overhauling the economy.

>Say Something Nice About Our Country
eg. there are no snakes
it only rains half the year
beheadings are way down

IF you get your own country, re-roll. IF you don't have something NICE to say, The Gods will ragdoll your body from the highest peak. Play their game now!

>>63896072 (OP)
>Congo
>Army: PM for pistol, M16 or FAL for rifle, PT-76 for tank
>Navy: Mi-14 helicopter (the only piece of equipment in the entire Nav)y
>Air Force: Mirage F1 (not bad tbdesu)
>Arch nemesis: DRC
>Goal: conquer the DRC in five years.

>Something nice: We are the nicer Congo.

First site doesn't work for phoneposters...

>>63896308
https://randomcountrygenerator.com

>>63896072 (OP)
ill take good care of you awnsNorway

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country:
Denmark
>Weapons:
Pistol: Sig p320 (special forces can have the Glock 20 from the dog sled team)
Rifle: Gevaer M/10 A4
Tank: Leopard 2A7DK
Fighter: F-35
Navy: Uhh, a couple of frigates I guess...
>Arch Nemesis:
Iceland
>Grand 5 Year Plan:
Iceland has been too smug to too long. Those bastards need to be reminded of who owns the north Atlantic. I would announce a training exercise in Iceland, strongarm them into agreeing, then launch a special military operation once we are successfully on the island. They basically can't fight back so it should be easy as fuck. Then we level the island and turn it into a penguin sanctuary. The residents of Iceland are then deported to northern Greenland, for their arrogance in naming their island "Iceland".
>Something nice:
We made Lego

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country
Jordan
>Best Weapons
Army: Leclercs
Navy: a couple patrol boats
Air Force: F-16 Block 20s, 10 C-130H
>Arch Nemesis
Israel(not really enemies but their relationship has deteriorated)
>Goal
Maintain neutrality. Invest more into counter terrorism and policing in case the Palestinian refugees in Jordan decide to do another Black September. Act as mediator for negotiations. Not get caught in ME conflict #53432
>Something Nice About Jordan
It's one of the non shithole ME countries.

>>63896072 (OP)
>russia
Well fuck looks like I'm getting thrown about like a toddler in a yard with a pitbull it's been nice knowing you guys.

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country:
Panama (oh boy here we go.jpg)
>Weapons:
Wait why is everything on the Pnama Defense Forces wiki written in past tense? Oh replaced by the National Police after the US invasion in 1989. Apparently our best piece of equipment is deadass a motherfucking Ford Fusion.
>Arch Nemesis:
In the grand Latin American tradition, our most hated arch foes are our immediate neighbors: Costa Rica and Columbia.
>Goal: Columbia is on the other side of the Darien Gap, so no worries about those coke-nosed fucks. Costa Rica is looking shifty though. Our cops with their handguns(?) riding around in Ford Fusions aren't going to cut it. Best to get on the phone to Big Daddy America and inform POTUS that the canal is in jeopardy because the filthy Costa Ricans are massing troops on the border. Enjoy your JDAMs, fuckos. Your costa isn't so rica now, is it?
>Something nice:
The Darien Gap kills thousands of would-be illegal immigrants to the US yearly.

>>63896268
>DRC
>Army: Browning HP for pistol, M16 or FAL for rifle, T-64BV1 for tank
>Navy: None
>Air Force: Su-25
>Arch nemesis: Congo
>Goal: conquer the Congo in five years.

>Something nice: We are the nicer Congo.

>>63896929
First I would quell rebellions and milities by fabricating a mythical common ancestor story with fake anthropological proof and form a pan ethno-nationalist movement based on unity is strength to justify invasion of the Congo as a "manifest destiny" moment. Then I would overhaul the economy to modernize infrastructure and expand production, offering exports of natural resources to foreign countries, and increase GDP.
Then fabricate a false flag attack from a "Congolese seperatist insurgent cell" within our borders to declare war and utilize fire force tactics to overpower and overwhelm key defensive positions throught the region and capture equipment and soldiers for repossession and reeducation.

>>63896072 (OP)
>Paraguay
>Pistol: PT-24/7
>Rifle: AR-70
>Ground vehicle: Chevy S10 (Fuck the Ford Ranger)
>Navy: the glorious ARP Paraguay
>Air Force: Super Tucanos
>Nemisis: everyone else
>5 year plan: Kill everyone, yes everyone, and unify South America under our banner
>something nice: Best Guay, needed everyone to team up to put us down

>>63896072 (OP)
Oh FFS
>Country
Eswatini
>Best weapon
Army: South African MRAPs, FN MAG, and weirdly enough, either the AR-18 or SG 540
Air Force: Two UH-1s
Navy: huh?
>Arch Nemesis
South Africa
>Our Grand 5-Year Plan
Wait for South Africa to collapse, then make some bs justification for military expansion and intervention like "oppression of ethnic Swazis" or something. Also strike some kind of deal with Whites and Zulus in the race war shitshow that will occur.
In the meantime:
Increase military spending to 5% of GDP or higher, and increase recruitment. Deploy forces on UN and AU peacekeeping operations to build up experience, since apparently we have never fought a single war.
Modernize our inventory with procurement of foreign surplus, particularly from Taiwan. Specifically, extra Hueys after they get phased out by Blackhawks, plus whatever transport aircraft we can find to replace the fleet we lost through attrition. Small arms from the lowest bidder, maybe even petition the US to donate confiscated crime guns to us.
Also build a drone force for surveillance and light attack since we cannot afford real aircraft in useful quantities.
Light infantry is literally the only military capability we have, so we're gonna focus hard on that and make it the best in the region, and hire foreign advisors and conduct cross training exercises with South Africa. The latter will also help us build military connections we can leverage to our advantage when SHTF.
>Something nice
We are unironically kangz which is based and trad and we also have a cool flag

>>63896647
Attempting to raze Iceland will stir the slumber of forces beyond the reach of conventional weaponry. How is Denmark preparing for this?

Republic of Maldives. I didn't know this was a country until today.

>Army:
Dutch Draagvest B, Canadian Batlskin Viper P6N Helmets, German FM50 Respirators. Glock 17 handgun. Colt Canada C8 Carbine. FN Minimi Light Machine Gun. Panzerfaust 3. L16 Mortar. Travel in Swedish CV9035 IFVs and Bushmaster AFVs. Use Mercades-Benz-G280 as a Scout Car and Support vehicle. Supported by Armed variants of the Milrem THeMIS Unmanned Ground Vehicle in Urban Operations. Fight with support from HIMARS rocket artillery platforms and AH-64 Apache Gunships. Island Nation too small for heavier vehicles.
>Navy:
More important than the Army. Fights primarily with Dutch ships: De Zeven Provinciën class Guided Missile destroyers and Walrus-Class submarines. Use modified Karel Doorman Frigates for anti submarine, anti-aircraft, commerce raiding, and electronic warfare.
>Air Force:
Primary platform is the Eurofighter Typhoon. Use Boeing E-7 Wedgetail AEW&C and the C-130 Hercules transport plane.
>Cybernetic Command:
Thinkpad w/ Arch Linux, Black shirt (tenchcoats do not work well in South Asia), mirrored sunglasses. Makes use of RQ-21 UAV for Surveilance, General Atomics MQ-9 Reaper drone for aerial attack, and various models of repurposed Civilian drones converted into floating bombs for extremely cheap aerial attack

>Our Arch Nemesis:
India. Those fucking Hindus have had it too good, for too long, polluting our waters and oppressing our muslim brothers. They gotta die. Grand plan in next post:

>Something Nice
High HDI and Higher per capita income than other South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation and new, somewhat functional democratic proceses.

>>63897473
>Our Grand 5-year plan
Raise the money, first and foremost. Goal is to become the Monte Carlo of the Souf. Heavily increase tourism. Diversify into financial services. Loosen up on sin laws so as to attract rich westerners and investment capital. Become /cyb/ as fuck.
Direct action deemed to likely be ineffectual given how we're a small island nation trying to take down a massive country of 1.1 street shitters. We will have to bring the sirs to heel with the world's most ambitious commando operation: Insert teams of special forces operators and hackers into the country to probe the defenses, create stockpiles of weapons, and foment dissent. Host the Pakistani and Indian ambassadors and none too subtly try and see if they'll have a punch up. Place spies in both the Indian and Pakistani command structures; ideally to be able to provoke violent conflict, but also to obtain access to their nuclear weapons, possibly through a honey trap. Use stolen nuclear weapons or goad Pakistani attack to cripple India's ability to fight, and use special forces to capture the Indian leadership and force them into a Carthaginian peace that involves the payment of massive indemnity to the homeland, and eventually, the appointee of a puppet leader to serve Maldivian interests, fully conquering the Indians and forcing them to defecate indoors, wash their hands, and stop sexually harassing everything that even so much as looks like a woman.

Also this is the capital city. Could use more skyscrapers, casinos, discotheques, and neon lights.

>>63896308
It works if you wait for the page to fully load. The ads take a couple seconds.

>>63897486
Do fingerless gloves fit the budget? How about matrix rainwall displays for cyb HQ?

>Greece
lol
>say something nice
we're not turks

>>63896072 (OP)
>Sierra Leone (tough luck)
>Army: two (2) T-72 (operational status doubtful)
>Navy: 7 chinese Type-62 FAC
>Air Force: [start of inventory] 1 Mi-17 [end of inventory]
>Our Arch Nemesis: Liberia (let's see how long they will still be free) and Guinea (mr. president, there are too many Guineas nowadays, please eliminate one, I am not a crackpot)
>Something nice (according to ChatGPT): Sierra Leone is the “Athens of West Africa”: Fourah Bay College in Freetown is the oldest Western-style university in West Africa, founded 1827 (lol).

>>63898115
>no plan to oust the Ottoman
The turkish century it is, then!

>>63896072 (OP)
>Djibouti
>Army: FN FALs, G3s, SG940s. A smorgasboard of cold war battle rifles. No tanks, but a few South African IFVs and some French AML-90s
>Navy: We have 24 PT boats of various sizes.
>Air Force: We have 2 Hinds, which is 2 more Hinds than I previously had before becoming head of Djibouti
>Arch Nemesis: The Somalis
>Our Five year plan: Hope someone else in this thread rolls Ethiopia or Kenya and team up with them to destroy the Somali menace. Otherwise just defend our territory against them. Sell all our French equipment like FAMAS, MAT49s and MAS-36s to Ian McCollum and use that money to fund updating our arsenal. Standardize on 9mm and 7.62x51mm NATO so we aren't using 7 different small arms cartridges.
>Something Nice: It has the most fun to say name of any country on Earth.

>>63900169
>skinnies are coming for djibouti

>>63901448
Johnny Rico will stop them

>>63901899
Stop this, punk

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country
Thailand
>Best Weapons
Army: a small but respectable rocket artillery park, a pretty good mix of tanks, AFV’s, tank destroyers and mobile artillery.
Navy: a decent expeditionary force with Amphib/helicopter carriers and frigates/corvettes
Air Force: Gripen’s, F-16’s and Saab 340 AEW&C’s
>Arch Nemesis
It seems to be a tie between Myanmar and Cambodia
>Goal
I’m not going to be overt with my shit at the start since both countries are tied to the hip with China and in the event they actually get off their lazy arses I don’t want to deal with a punitive Chinese invasion. Myanmar should be easy to deal on account of their civil war, I just give money, guns and “lawyers” (intel) to the many many rebel groups in Myanmar to destabilise their shit, maybe once the junta falls I’ll take a big bite or two out of their provinces that neighbour me. As for Cambodia I don’t think they have an active insurgent problem, so I’ll have to create one and wait for that to mature before going all in. I don’t think the Chinese will do a armed intrusion but they will be doing their secret squirrel shit with cyberattacks and other active measures, perhaps I should entice Chinese incels by offering them a Thai wife and a plot of land if they join my foreign volunteer brigades, I guess I could aim for a lot of countries with disenfranchised men and promise them all a Thai wife.
>Something Nice About Thailand
Their beach’s are really nice, and that’s coming from an Australian where all we have is nice beach’s

>Country
Iraq
>Army
a mix between western battle rifles and some old soviet stuff with a touch of yugoslavian, tanks are half decent semi-modern western stuff and decent semi-modern slavshit and half completely antiquated slavshit, lots of recovery vehicles, IFV's they have BTR4!! (my beloved)
>airforce and navy
quite tiny and insignificant, only useful for contesting our own airspace and coastal waters
>arch nemesis
saudi arabia and anyone else with large amounts of developed oil in the region.
>goal
take all the oil in the middle east, control it with an iron fist and become the monopoly of middle-eastern oil, turning us into a new superpower

we will take our entire army and leave our homeland completely undefended, relying instead on our civilian populace and a few trainers to fight a protracted insurgency against anyone trying to retaliate.
our entire armed forces will race across the desert to saudi arabia like a mongol horde and make it to their populated regions before too much of our land forces are destroyed by airstrikes, taking the enemy completely by surprise, we will absorb saudi arabia, leaving a token force to occupy it and absorbing all of their equipment and resources to feed our army, surviving saudi soldiers will be used as meatwaves in the next desert rush, ahead of our loyal forces, to take casualties for us.
the saudi airforce and navy will be forced to comply and help us as we've strapped comically large remote-controlled bombs to all of their aircraft seats and ship keels, they will mostly be sent to iraq to do CAS missions for our insurgency, who's probably getting attacked by a few neighbours by now.
this entire process will be repeated with every middle eastern state until all the oil is ours, until we can secure it with our now massive resources and a massive armed forces, we will threaten to blow them all up and fuck up the global oil supply chain should any outside force try to come to the aid of their allies.

our golden age begins!

>>63902329
oh and
>say something nice
iraq has a rich history and there's lots of cool old ruins there.

>>63896072 (OP)
How do people even get addicted to gambling? I was playing RDR 1, and I walked into the Blackwater Saloon to play Texas Hold em (Trying to unlock the U.S. Army uniform), I lost 300 Dollars. 300 FUCKING DOLLARS IN 1911 MONEY! That's like 10,000 dollars in todays money, that's a quarter of what I make yearly.
Texas hold em is such fucking bullshit too, somehow some chuckle fuck with a and a 2 and a 5 beats me holding a king and a jack, but if the same fucking nigger has a king and a jack and I have a 2 and a 5 he still somehow magically beats me. I eventually started playing Random fucking cards and won somehow, the game is complete nonsense, FUCK TEXAS HOLD EM! I'm convinced it was invented by some childish little faggot who was making stuff up on the spot and contradicting himself constantly in order to win.

>Monaco
Total size of armed forces is 250 personnel. Half of which also serve as the country’s firefighters. Navy consists of 4 small sized police patrol boats used on customs duty.
>Arch Enemy
Botswana
>Grand strategy
Somehow trick France into fighting Botswana for us since they already bear 99% of our defense needs.

>>63902481
They live in places where they can't spend all their money on guns.

>>63903444
>Patrol boat christened by a kid with a bottle made of nougatine
Monaco a cute.

>>63902329
not Iran?

>>63902329
ive seen this one before

>>63902236
a weapon to surpass Metal Gear

>Holy See
>Weapons
Halberds, B&T APC, Sig 550 and 552, that one anime bitch
>Nemesis
The entire non-christian world
>Plan
Revive The Entity / Holy Alliance, which is one of the most diabolical spy agencies I've ever read about. Use it to start building papal armies in places bordering recent caliphate wannabes. Retake holy lands and so forth. Override every doctrinal change to the church that stands in the way of conquest.
>Something Nice about the Vatican
We are a font of cute memes, somehow. dorime

>>63902481
>How do people even get addicted to gambling?
Lots of marketing and a 45% win rate on the best games
The 5% is where the casino makes money (goes all the way up to 80%+ on slots of course) and it's locked in
That's deadly. Imagine you get a dopamine kick on 45 out of every 100 bets. Exhilarating. And it's dressed up in a lot of game theory so it feels like you have a choice (which you don't)

Does nothing for me as a statistician as you can see
(I blow my cash on loose women instead)

>>63908710
It's just a more fun way to spend 100 bucks than having to interact with people, especially for old timers

I NEED MORE SAMS AND BALLISTIC MISSILES, NNNNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

>>63910185
That will surely do it

>>63896072 (OP)
>Austria
I am back, bitches!
I have work to do.

>>63910185

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country
Albania

Stupid game...

>>63912429
that's easy though

>Country
Cyprus
>Best Weapons
We are a mix of mostly modern US + EU weapons and soviet hand me downs. Our arms embargo was lifted in 2022, so we are modernizing across the board. Artillery seems to be our weakest area.
>Arch Nemesis
Turkey
>Goal
Realistically, we would have to fight through UN and UK forces just to reach the turks and begin the real reconquest of northern cyprus, so for now we should focus on achieving force parity with the turks and promoting a strategy of tension in Ankara.
>Something Nice About Cyprus
We have good food and beaches.

>>63913188
>YOU'VE BEEN FUCKED BY UN PSYOPS

>>63912429
so much potential
wasted roll

>Papua New Guinea

I don't want to play this game anymore. I'm going home.

>>63915351
Don't get eaten by natives on your way out

>>63896072 (OP)
>Tunisia
Hey DM, can I reroll?

>>63917173
why not

>>63912418
>Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Start a war in the middle east
>Didn't one start yesterday?
>...Fuck we really shouldn't pre-record these things

>>63918937
Only the young die big.

>>63915351
Just invade one of the island nations near you, the fuck is Micronesia gonna do when you roll in on Australian patrol boats? Get the five guys in their police force to write a strongly worded letter to New Zealand?

>>63921513
They can call america, but in the meantime they're still invaded.

>>63922154
I think they're split between US and Chinese influence now.

>>63896072 (OP)
>>63896072 (OP)
>Angola
>Weapons:
Pistol stechkin
MG Rpd
BR FN FAL
AR tavor
tank T-72M1(wiki lies all our tanks don't work)
>Portugal
>Our Grand 5-Year Plan:
economy is growing fast so economically we keep doing what we're doing
found navy, found airforce, fix tanks, try and find smallarms not from early coldwar.
no clue where to find money for that yet doe
>flag looks awesome

>>63923491
The treacherous Joao will know the might of Angola.

>>63898085
>Do fingerless gloves fit the budget?
Hell yeah.

>How about matrix rainwall displays for cyb HQ?
Nice to have but ultimately redundant; Island nation in the south = rains like a motherfuck.

>Country
Tuvalu
>Weapons
None. We have no standing military, only police.
>Arch Enemy
96% Christianity
3% Other religions or not stated
1% Baháʼí Faith
We are clearly being infiltrated by chinese agitators, and they aren't sending their best. They're sending Baháʼístards. Our nation of 10.6k must militantly resist this threat, since they refuse to help bail water during storms (we are sinking into oblivion). Suggest we team up with Iceland to push the Danes back into the sea, while we're at it.

Our maritime security vessels are currently all donors from Australia. We can probably get more from them, maybe the US and UK too. Meantime, we need to seek assistance from anti-commie Singaporese dredging experts to stave off the climate chink. Without land, we will be erased. Stop moping and pick up that can.

>>63928463
Cursed RNG

>>63916913
You could say he was... PNG'd.

>Get drafted to Timor-Leste
>Never heard of it, so that's a good sign
>Their equipment is 0s across the board
>I'm given an M16A2
>Some guys are lucky enough to be given an M203, but I am not
>I'd probably just blow up my own guys anyway
>We're currently not at war, but our relationship with Indonesia is rocky
>At least we have some nice beaches

>>63933834
I know a guy who did some work there and I've considered going in on a project with him. They're young and too small to attract high-end corporate corruption, so it's a really unique situation where they have almost no regulations yet for lots of areas of the economy (bc they don't exist in practice yet). So you can book 1-on-1 meetings with their government ministers and straight up tell them how to write the laws. If you bring in good jobs, they listen.

>Gambia
>Goal: Anything but a coup
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gambia_Armed_Forces

>>63936190
do a coup

>>63937398
This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.

>>63933435
gross

>>63896072 (OP)
Fuck commies and houthis.

>>63941535
Oman has gucci gear?

>>63896072 (OP)
>Egypt
>Rifle: Maadi, Pistol: Helwan, BTR-50, Fahd APC
>Arch Nemesis: Enemies of the sun god Ra
>Grand 5-year plan: Activate the solar dynamo engines underneath the pyramids of Giza and reset the world
>Something nice: It's not cold where we are and we can generate military funds off of tourism to the Sphinx

FML

>>63928463
>>Arch Enemy
>not the 1337 keyboard warriors of boards.4chan.org/pol/
Better start shoring up your digital defenses, Mr. President.

>>63945220
It would be so easy to beat them today.

>>63944758
>potato empire
>"FML"
ngmi
killt in the french fried sheets

>>63896929
I rolled best congo too

>>63949896
Team up to destroy Rwanda.

>>63944758
Just pull a Luka and you are fine.

We are fucking doomed.

>>63953699
>hwn alway rember to drink water

>>63896072 (OP)
>Cyprus
Army seems to only have a standard pistol, the USP and even that is mixed in with the Five seveN too. Otherwise their equipment is a complete hodge podge of whatever someone was willing to sell them during the cold war. The G3 seems to be the most common rifle but there's M16's, AK74s, the vz.58, tavors, a few flavors of AR. There's like 6 different MGs. Tanks seem to be split between T80s and the phasing out AMX-30. Talk of leopard II replacement for the T80s. BMP3s are your IFV of choice
The navy well it exists but it's basically a bunch of fast attack craft with a couple coast guard cutter equivalents.
Air Force is functionally non existent barely reaching double digits with zero fixed wing combat aircraft and a handful of helicopters.
>Arch Nemesis
The fucking Turks. More specifically the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. Assholes keep saying they're a real country. They're not.
>5 year plan.
We're basically Greeks man. We're going to sit here and enjoy the Mediterranean weather. Maybe drive out those retards to the north.
>Something nice
The weather is wonderful

>>63896072 (OP)
DR Congo niggers are about to get pwned.
>Rwanda
>Army: Browning HP for pistol or FAL for rifle, T-55 for tank
>Navy:LOL, LMAO even, but we do have Marines
>Marines: Fabio Buzzi powerboats with Type 85 machine guns
>Air Force: Mi-35, Bayraktar TB2, USAF C-5s and C-130s if necessary
>Arch Nemesis: DR Congo for waging war against me, the UN (the Antichrist), PMC Wagner, Burundi, the Tutsi people, any insurgent group in Rwanda or her neighbors.
>Goal: Form an alliance with Uganda and Congo use the Rwanda-Uganda alliance to back CRA fighters in their fight against the UN and Wagner, use their captured equipment to help further equip our armies, quell all Tutsi rebellions, if peace is obtained, form Tutsi battalions, then declare war on DRC government and launch an invasion and create a two-pronged attack with Congolese forces.
>Allies:
>>63896268
>Enemies:
>>63896929
>>63949896
>>63952188
Now where is Uganda?

>>63896072 (OP)
>join thread
>check country
>Uganda
>scroll down
>fuck

>Uganda
>Army: Pistol: PM and HP, Rifle: FAL, SKS, Tank: T-90 (actually not that bad), Wild Card: Captain Alex
>Navy: (That is literally it)
>Air Force: Su-30, Mi-28 and Mi-24
>Arch nemesis: DR Congo, the UN (the Antichrist), PMC Wagner, Burundi, any insurgent group in Uganda or her neighbors, Tanzania.
>Goal to collaborate with Uganda-Rwanda-Congo coalition and then overthrow the Tanzanian government by airstrikes and by sending in Captain Alex.
>Something nice: We have Captain Alex.

>>63955957
Fuck, I forgot to say something nice...

>There are less Tutsi now than there were.
>>63956368
Sounds like the gang is complete

>>63955957
>>63956368
We will bury you.

>>63956766
deploy the tactical gorillas

Why does the bigger congo not simply eat the smaller one?

>>63959607
Because they have the worse military and have pissed off Rwanda.

>>63945220
I cast "india rangeban" + "no memeflags" + "free internet pornography (homosexual)"

done

>>63897026
MORE LIKE PAIR OF GAYS!

>>63896072 (OP)
>Ukraine
fuck

>>63896072 (OP)
>cunt
¡ESPAÑA GLORIOSA!
>best weapon
M109A5 Paladin
>nemesis
Atropia
>El plan
Support Gorgas politically towards EU integration and oppose Russia. Also cooperate with France on splitting Minaria away from Donovia and leverage their hatred of them from the last war.

With our new allies, We'll base Hornets and Eurofighters in western Gorgas. While two combined arms divisions (Castellejos and San Marcal) are transported over to form the spearhead with allied troops forming the main mass. The Air Force will conduct a short, sharp SEAD and attrition campaign against the Atropian front line in preparation for the combined arms breech down the Kura River valley in the direction of Ganja and Yevlakh. Then, the goal is to sweep south through the plain to isolate the western highlands around Nagorno-Karabakh. During this time, the Harbors of Baku will be rendered unusable via air strikes and an air assault will be conducted on Khachmaz to isolate the city internationally. Then, we'll freeze the conflict to avoid the costly final push into Baku in order to consolidate rear areas. We'll then bring them to negotiate and achieve our final victory by rendering them a economically crippled puppet that is able to do little more than export cheap gas to the EU. We'll then beg Germany for a bailout because there's no way this retarded adventure was affordable to us :(.
>Nice things
Spanish food is unironically better than French and Italian.

>>63962439
Rules are rules...

>>63963323
You want to push paladins through the desert?

>>63896072 (OP)
>Country
Tanzania
>Army:
HP for pistol, FAL, G3, SKS or Galil for rifle, T-59 for tank. Vid related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_0U5thy31o&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD
>Navy:
Shanghai patrol boats, Huchuan torpedo boats.
>Air Force:
J-7 (of course it is a Chinkshit Mig).
>Arch nemesis:
Uganda, Rwanda, Congo, Palestine, South Sudan, the Islamic State.
>Plan:
Join the war with DR Congo, despite having no business fighting better equipped countries and try not to have one of our islands try to secede again. The T-59s will definitely be of use.
>Something nice:
You can bless the rains here, if that floats your boat.

>/k/ commands militaries
>immediate african world war

>Country
Bahrain
>Army
G3, FAL, MP5, M16 + M4, P226, M82
M1A2 SEPv3, M270, M110A2, Eimos
Patriot, Otokar light vehicles
old hand-me-downs from cold war
>Navy
2x Oliver Hazard Perry class, River class OPV, Cyclone class, various fastboats
>Air Force
F-16, C-130J, Cobra and Viper attack helis
>Allies
The West, Formula 1
>Enemies
Afghanistan, Iran, Houthis, Islamic State, Protesters
>Plan
Continue to host peace talks on the Sudan civil war, so more resources can be poured into the emerging Congo war. Send "advisors" and pilots to fight on whichever side does better bribes. Let the US handle the ongoing Iran chimpouts.
>Something nice
We have a grand prix and we haven't slaughtered our own civilians in a few years

>country is Iceland
I guess we have to fight Denmark somehow. Maybe use the Coast Guard to evacuate all of the cities to the UK or US.

>>63966370
Tuvalu answers the call

>country
Micronesia
>Armed forces
We just call the Americans.
>Enemy
Denmark, Sweden, Norway
>Plan
Help Tuvalu fight Denmark in Iceland using American support forces, then launch a strike into Denmark itself and destroy the LEGO factory. We will Audi can the consumption of danishes for the duration of this war.

>>63905452
>Reluctant to take a picture
Kids are based.

>>63908667
Are you not going to restore the Christendom in Europe, it's been 500 years since that retarded monk shat the bed. Someone needs to reign them over.

>>63969348
The battle for the soul of Europe is not begun lightly. Best get some practice on browns for experience first.

>>63971043
And what country will you practice this on?

>>63972114
>>63969348
>>63971043
How about a compromise?

>>63972128
Shall we team up with Cyprus for this?

>Cunt
Malaysia
I don’t need to do anything since we’re already the best country in the world as is
/thread

>>63972469
That said, in all seriousness:
>Weapons
Pistol: Glock 17, although weirdly enough our Spec Ops use High-Powers and the 10th Parachute Brigade uses 92s, P226, HS2000, and I think Ziganas (of which we produce 20,000 annually).
Rifle: M4, with the AUG in use by special units, although M16s are used by a select few units including the 10th Parachute Brigade.
Tank: PT91M
Fighter: Su-30 with F/A-18 and Hawk-208s
Ships: 5 Frigates on the way plus two subs
>Arch Nemesis:
Singapore, with China a very aggressive Frienenemy
>Grand 5 Year Plan:
Capture Singapore and return them to the fold. The problem is they’re friends with the US, UK, and somehow still as friendly with the chinks as we are. I guess we up the propaganda campaign and spam Tik-Tok with stories about the dangers of artificial islands and forced land reclamation while tying it all to the city state before invading it ourselves. This should hopefully make the populations of the Anglos at most indifferent if not hostile to the Sing cause. Although we share a land border, it is very small so I’d invest amphibious equipment and double down on both the 10th Parachute Brigade and the Marines. It’s a city state, so it shouldn’t be hard to invade even if the war as a whole will be defined by extensive, brutal urban warfare. It’ll be hard fighting F-35, 16, and 15s, however. Still, I think we can bomb their very few airfields and render those inoperable before they can truly leave the tech advantage.
>Something Nice
We’re killing it in terms of economic growth and have a unique culture that is growing in international popularity, albeit slowly.

>>63972469
The Filipino master race laughs in your general direction

>>63972128
Not a bad idea, actually.

>>63972128
Fuck atta here, we will mobilise the Catholic spics of central america and Mexico. The crazed Aztec blood fused with reconquista conquistador blood puts ME Arab barbarism to shame.
May Constantine the XIth tie me to a rocket a fire me at Parthia if we fail, because we will reconquista Anatolia and restore Hagia Sofia as a Christian church.

>>63972157
The more's the merrier in a crusade.

>>63972515
How do you stop Singapore from flattening you in the opening hours?

>>63896072 (OP)
I got >Israel

>Diverse as fuck armory, I don't know what I expected, and I now know what an HK-P11 is.

Everyone gets a Tavor X95. except for special forces, they have a whole rainbow of foreign weapons to pick from. As for a side arm, only the SF guys get a Glock 17. Everyone else has an Israeli 941, basically an Italian CZ-75 clone. Thankfully we have some decent weapons from the USA and a few in house options for specialists and clan-destine operations.
As for vehicles We got a fair amount of Merkavas that are going to be field tested against Russian T-90s and older T-72s so that should be fun. There are about 9 F-35s with the bulk of our air force being the older F-16. We don't have much but I hope we have air superiority. We have a few submarines in the navy as well as a few missile attack boats. Naval superiority is absolute. We are nuclear capable and our enemy might be so that option is off the table.

as for our rival? Fucking >India.

Grand plan is simple. Use our naval forces and Ground Forces to cripple the Indian anti air systems. Take a few pages from "Adolf's big book of blitz (1940 Edition)" and use the submarines to wreck shit coming in and out of any ports. Hopefully work with the Navy of >>63897473 to cause some real damage. Keeping air superiority is of the highest importance. We only only have 9 of those fancy F-35s, but with our F-16s factored into the equation we outnumber the Indian air force's strike aircraft. I would absolutely use our missiles on crippling the Indian air force. Our whole operation basically hinges on our military being able to out preform India's.

>>63977692
For something nice IDK, the Mossad is still better than the CIA at assassinations?

>>63977692
Would you say diversity is your strength?

>>63979614
>Desert Jews and Island Muslims teaming up to punk on Hindus
not him but I'd say so.

>>63977692
Half the indians will still support israel afterward

>India vs Israel
damn, whose side will Canada take?

>>63896072 (OP)
>Dominica
>population 72k
>no military
>enemy: Venezuela, apparently
Uhh I'm thinking I just psyop the US into invading Venezuela and let them use my country as a staging area in exchange for getting my prized tiny island

I got Myanmar. Are we the good guys or the bad guys?

>>63982832
>implying there are good guys

>Marshall Islands
>Crying to the US
>The Ocean
>All in on shitcoins
>You never hear about how crime-infested our country is on your country's news stations, unlike some OTHER countries!

>>63983816
...thoughts on denmark?

>>63982832
Either

>>63896072 (OP)

>Hungary
>Army: Lynx, BTR-80, Skyranger, NASAMS
>Navy: N/A (River-based minelayers/ sweepers and frogships)
>Air: Various multirole fighters and battle copters
>Arch nemesis: George Soros, the Jewish international banking cartel (Rothschilds, etc...)
>Grand 5-Year Plan:
I start beating the "Russia, Russia" war drum in order to conjure up unreasonable amounts of foreign aid from NATO-countries. Maybe stage a false-flag attack by "Russia" on an abandoned, near-to-border (of Ukraine) military installation in order to make the West think we are finally going to support Ukraine, and maybe even enter the war on Ukraine's behalf. Once the aid packages are signed over, I dump nearly all of the foreign aid into special forces program development, with the rest being shared by the procurement of a cheap suicide drone-program from China, surveillance technology, and outdated surface-to-air missiles (mostly for propaganda.) Essentially, I would focus on building the world's strongest special forces program to counter Israeli and Jewish influence in Middle Europe. Not only that, I would actively be hunting down its individual multi-billionaire and trillionaire kingmakers across the world, including the Rothschilds in France. This is because, nowadays, if a single Jew in your country dies under your orders, you'll be called "Adolf Hitler"... But if you kill a billionaire in another country, that's just wet works, and "Everyone does it," according to every Israel-apologist ever.
Additionally: Play the Switzerland game, buy craptons of gold from Turkey, and offer to launder Rubles in order to boost GDP. Accumulate as much wealth as possible, while the Western world collapses.
>Say something nice
The Hungarians really are the best "Middle Europeans," although I think many will call them Slavs or Euroslavs. In that case, then they are the best Euroslavs.

>Afghanistan
>Infantry weapons:M16A2s, M4s, FB Beryls, with M9s, Maks and Toks as sidearms
>Our arch nemesis:
Seychelles
>Five year plan:
with a population of ~98,000 East Africans, I have absolutely nothing to fear. We keep growing opium and shoot any ooga boogas who look at at us funny, as is tradition.
>Say something nice about Afghanistan
lotta opium

>>63896072 (OP)
>Malta
>Our best weapon
81mm mortars
>Arch Nemesis
Ottoman Empire
>5 year plan
Join NATO, increase military spending from .5% to 3.5% of GDP.
Grow our military by a batallion, this will include a heavy company for our support weapons.
Drop the eastern block firearms, move to EU made western style weapons. As we are practically integrated into the italian military, use their equipment. Upgrade to 120mm mortars.
All our equipment choices will be optimized to be transportable by c130j, this includes all of our vehicles.
Raise a drone company, partner with Ukraine to learn.

We should now be able to deploy company sized task forces, which is a giant leap in capability.


>something nice about Malta
We live where others plan their holidays.

>>63982832
You guys have been in a fucking civil war server the 1940s.

>>63986192
why seychelles?

>>63988884
Why not?

>>63989747
Fair. It you can't pick random beefs, what's the point of being a rogue state?

>>63986148
Your plan is to topple fractional banking with special hungarian squirrels?

>>63991111
Checked and based.

>>63986359
Join Us (Vatican)
We're Fun

>>63987287
is it the longest running civil war?

>cunt
Cuba
Army: Every eastern bloc firearm and the grease gun, every soviet vehicle
Air Force: every soviet AD system, Mig-21 and Mig-29
Navy: a helicopter carrier, some missile systems with names like Bandera, possible secret midget submarines via Norks
Paramilitary Forces: glorified gangs
Special Forces: Mak / CZ-75 / MP5, various AKs, Val / Dragunov / Vintorez
>Nemesis
None other than the big US of A
>Goal
Let's mix it up. We've been frenemies with the US for too long. Shit has gotten boring. Will they kiss and make up? Won't they? Who cares. Violence of action solves these problems. We will simply conquer Haiti and get in the good graces of the great satan that way.
>Something Nice
Lots of vintage cars

>>63995429
A cuban conquest of haiti might be the one outcome that forces murica to invade properly.

>>63997018
cuba-DR war featuring american adventurists and haitian cannibals would be sick

>>63994744
Yeah and things are heating up with artillery using out two fighter jets last month.

>>Poland
Guns: MAG-95, FB Beryl, the Bor etc.
>>The Enemy?
Ziggers and Belarus Ziggers.
>>5 year plan
Let the ruskies fight their war of attrition and wait for the time to strike.
>>Why join Poland
It is a no nigger zone

>>63998176
Any kino lately

>>63896072 (OP)

>The Gods

There is only one God, Jesus Christ.

>>63999401
>Jesus is God
>Not one part of the Trinity
Time to burn, heretic.

>>63999320
Yeah, the Asom nation was attacked by suicide drones, possibly from the Kachin Liberation Army.

Kachin is the pro-China State, Asom is pro-India, the government Junta is also pro-China and Ukraine, but only on the merit that they are selling the government knockdown kits in order to start a domestic MIC, they otherwise would probably fight to be an isolationist state. I made a thread and send if their stuff a while back and it is quite interesting.

There are several other enemy armies too, including the one in Shan State, which was the first one to declare independence.

>>64000476
The attack happened yesterday, by the way.

>>64000476
The junta gets jets from russia though

>>64001058
Yes, but those make up a small percentage of the total aircraft and are almost entirely reserved for A2A combat. Training and ground attack (most of the combat sorties) are taken on by a myriad of Chinese types (J-7s, JL-8s, JL-9s, Q-5s and CJ-6s).

There are also JF-17s, but they have been grounded multiple times in the past three years of service.

>>63896072 (OP)
Fuck you and fuck this game.

>>64001399
Kek. It could be worse.

>>64001399
anon is weak like baby

>>64001345
I swear I remember reading that they're used to do bombing runs on villages

>>64004012
that's what google says

>>63902245
It’s been almost a month since I did this so fuck it I’ll do it again
>Country
Niger (fml)
>Best Weapons
Literally two Frogfoots (fml)
>Arch Nemesis
The Tuaregs in the north of the country that are desperate enough to fuck around with Islamist dipshits
>Goal
Give the Tuaregs and other marginalised ethnicities greater autonomy and stop oppressing them, kick out the Russian’s and bring back the French and pretty please ask the Yanks/Brits/Turks or hell the Australian’s to peace-keep my shit, bury my dick to the hilt in ECOWAS and hope Nigeria forgives me. If shit gets top bad abandon the north of the country too the Tuaregs/Islamists and keep my shit too the south locked down, I’ll let the north be Mali’s problem.
>Something Nice About Niger
They have the most based Dinosaur, the Nigersaurus. One more G and we would have the Gamersaurus.

>>64007675
Congratulations on getting the funny country. Have some intel.

>>64009257
I repeat fml, still I can salvage this. I just to got to beg and cry to the French for them to come back and save my arse.

>>63896072 (OP)
Italy

All of Beretta and poor angry Southern Italians with nothing to lose.

Eritrea

We will seduce the Eritrean populace with real food and cheap wine, in order to sell them Fiat trucks. Once they've been crippled by repair bills we sweep in and take over. We will maintain control through a mix of ruling by fear and ruling by fettuccine.

We have the second best cuisine of Europe, and most people find our language either sexy or romantic.

>>64009644
We can help.

>t. Rwanda

>>64009929
oh no

>>64009701
Aren't they commies though? They need correction.

>>64009257
ECOWAS would be based if they were capable of doing anything together

>>63896308
Maybe you should post from a real device or perhaps kys yourself

>>64007675
>Give the Tuaregs and other marginalised ethnicities greater autonomy and stop oppressing them
You get revenge couped and die.

>>64009929
Thank you Mr Kagme, may thousand year Rwanda Reich rule over the Great Lakes and Katanga.

>>64011445
If anyone can save my arse it’s the Rwandans

>>64014248
Oh right, well guess I’m Le Dead. Unless I preemptively purge those guys and start replacing their officer ranks with French speaking Euro’s-Yank’s-Aussie’s.

>>64015643
Alright, then I guess my nation and her alliance declare war on the Tuaregs.

>>64017169
>more war in africa
Good lad. We must make the pie higher.

>Country
Djibouti

>Best weapon
GDATP MK 19

>Communist Scum
Kujenga

>Plan to free the people of Kujenga
Swarms of toyotas with the MK19 mounted in the truckbed will pull off an african blitzkrieg into Kujenga. Decisive victory is achieved after ousting their leader and the installing the Army of Justice and Purity party in his place. Advisors will be sent in the aftermath to deal with the Free Tanga Youth Movement.

>What is nice about Djibouti?
Funny ass name

>>64019483
Why not just annihilate the Free Tanga Youth Movement altogether? It worked for us on the Tutsi.

>>64019483
Aren't you a premiere smuggling and sex trafficking hub for western forces? Run with it my man

>>63896072 (OP)
The gods saw how bad i was at wargame: red dragon, so they made me in charge of Iceland.

>>64023894
Joke's on you, we doin war now.

>>64012660
They are an entangled mess of extended families in constant vendettas taking the cultural equivalent of a giant diarrhea dump on their own country over and over. Some claim to be communists but I am pretty sure none of them can even spell the word.

>>64025879
Fake commies? Even worse.