Tell me /k/, what makes a good soldier?

/r/ing the 'sharpeposting' pasta

>>63899303 (OP)
I fuck my subordinates, sir. That’s just my style.

>>63899303 (OP)
>off topic bait thread
what blew up

>>63899303 (OP)
someone that does the least possible and gets out alive with those benefits

>>63899459
Topics are obsolete and are gonna be destroyed/replaced by drones

>>63899303 (OP)
If I was was a bad Soldier, I wouldn't be sitting here discussing it with you now would I?

>bite the musket ball off the cartridge
>black powder spills into my mouth
>prime and then pour the rest of the cartridge down the barrel
>point the barrel directly into my mouth (a perfectly safe thing to do), then spit the shot into the muzzle
>tapping the stock on the ground doesn't seat the bullet properly at all
>try again and again, slamming it down so hard that the stock cracks
>shoot and make to load again
>break one of my molars on the bullet (again)
>quickly prime, powder, and point the muzzle into my mouth
>hot barrel causes the powder to spontaneously ignite
>the flash leaves me blind and facially disfigured
>that's just my style, sir

>>63899503
the demoman says that

>Cheesy 80s guitar mixed with fife and drum intro plays
>Small skirmish between the British and French
>Tongue is missing as usual
>Sharpe flailing his sword around while Hagman gives cover fire
>They win the skirmish
>Messenger on horseback approaches
>"Lieutenant/Captain/Major Sharpe, you are summoned to Lord Wellington's tent"
>"Bloody ell Patrick, what's 'e want now"
>Sharpe arrives in old Nosey's tent
>His spymaster of the day is there
>As is a weasel looking British officer or French lord
>"Sharpe, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and Major Ducos is around so watch out for him
>Lord Fuckworth insults him for being a poorfag but reluctantly accepts that this is Wellington's best man
>"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"
>Cut to Sharpe and Patrick discussing the mission
>"It dun maek bloody sense Patrick, why do they need us to tek this castle/find this woman/get these supplies/uncover this plot"
>"Oh surely as the fields o' Ireland are green, sir, God has a plan for us, sir"
>A few battles happen on the way to the objective
>Oh look it's an attractive young woman who keeps looking at Sharpe suggestively
>They fuck
>"Look Patrick! It's the thing we're here for!"
>"LOOK OUT SIR"
>Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Sharpe
>Ducos appears
>"HON HON HON! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"
>"Bloody Ducos"
>Battle happens
>Patrick goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" with the 7 barrelled gun
>Wellington arrives
>"Well done Sharpe! You've done it again"
>Sharpe and his men march into the sunset
>THERE'S FORTY SHILLINGS ON THE DRUM...FOR THOSE WHO VOLUNTEER TO COME...

>>63899303 (OP)
>what makes a good soldier?

>>63899459
Sharpe posting is always on topic!

>>63899605
Pervitin alone doesn't work. You need the special autism genes that keep you on mission when your mind goes into that special place of no pain.

>>63899303 (OP)
Well, sir, on first sighting of the bum touching crests, I naturally gave the order to start raping the mobiks. That's my style, sir.

>>63899303 (OP)
gotta let the boys have a little fun every now and again

>>63899303 (OP)
>"Keeping his mouth shut when he's asked stupid questions by a superior officer, sir."

>>63899459
my load in ur mom