what's your favorite way to die in a self defense situation with weapons? me? bleeding out in the snow, but i'll probably never get to do it

Jesus fucking christ.

>Get shoot in the brain
>Forever in a comma
>Die of hold age

>>63921533
you never thought about this?

>>63921516 (OP)
I WON'T DIE OF DEATH

>>63921516 (OP)
Radiation poisoning

>>63921590
kino

>>63921516 (OP)
Being Finnish, bleeding out in the snow is my birthright and destiny.

>>63921642
puukko knife to the liver after getting drunk

>>63921516 (OP)
Going down fighting filled with arrows but taking a few of the bad guys with me

I want to slay scores of my enemies with my sword until they pile up high as a mountain. Then finally the dark wizard will crush my soul with an evil spell, sealing my fate.

Later my sons will avenge me

saving my classroom from the school shooter, but not before a prolonged cinematic gunfight where I shout out a bunch of cool one liners before landing the killing blow then promptly bleeding out in my homie's arms as all the girls stand around us with tears in their eyes

I'M READY, HOW ABOUT YOU?

>>63921516 (OP)
ja, ja...

Mutter "Shit" as I see the glint of the longrod hurtling towards my gunnery sight

>>63921516 (OP)
100% bleeding out in the snow OR bleeding out in a forest in general
extra points if it's sunset, twilight or even dusk.

>>63921516 (OP)
>tfw

>>63921773
What about bleeding out in a snowy forest at twilight? Ideally while the supernatural/extraterrestrial creatures you were battling gather around your shattered body, not to deliver the killing blow, but to pay respects to a worthy foe.

I want a double knock out while defending against a bear attack with a pocket knife

>>63921516 (OP)
Peacefully in my bed surrounded by friends and family, several decades after said self defense situation had ended in my victory.

not dying, seeing a potential mass shooter, before he gets the chance to pull, challenge him to a duel, gunning him down when he draws, saving the cute grill, marrying her, having a large family, living the American dream.
>>63921965
this.

>bleeding out in five minutes while holding a cute girl's hand, after traiding fatal wounds with a nigger
That's the way I wanna go.

Getting shot in chest multiple times as I unsuccessfully attempt to use the girl I was just fucking as a human shield when her husband bursts in on us mid stroke.
>hopefully he beats the charge.

>>63921516 (OP)
Hang myself in the neighbor's garden before the pigs throw me in jail for using excessive force.

Buried alive holding off a (sexy) naked lady avalanche, so my friends can escape it.
The weapon is my penis in this situation.

>>63921516 (OP)
My single favorite would be the time I died grappling a terrorist off the side of a bridge, but I keep coming back to dying after throwing myself in front of innocent bystanders. Call me basic, but there's something about doing it that just hits right, you know?

>>63921516 (OP)
>what's your favorite way to die in a self defense situation with weapons?

I finally confront the hot goth girl who bullies me, ambushing her on a hot summer night. She shruggs off 7.62x51mm NATO like it's nothing. I start to run from this unkillable monster but she effortlessly overtakes me. She disarms me, crumpling my rifle in her hands like it's aluminum foil. I try and fight back, her strength is unimaginable, it's like trying to stand your ground against freight train. She easily pins me to the ground and sits on my face, pulling her panties to the side. After 45 minutes of struggle, I drown in her fluids from of her 5th orgasm.

My second favorite way is bleeding out slowly in the rain.

>>63921516 (OP)
>>63923066
>>63922309
Are you okay?

>>63921516 (OP)
that's a hard one to figure, you only get one taste

>>63923590
i don't talk about home defense, this would be a fair honorable duel in the snow and then i would bleed out and die, it's different

>>63921516 (OP)
Not self defense but I am convinced it would be hilarious to go out in a speedboat accident

>>63923660
That's not what /k/ means when they mention a tragic boating accident

Shot in the neck, kill my attacker but still succumb to my wounds. Gripping my neck trying to stop the bleeding but then just kind of fading out.

>>63923682
neck bleeding is kino too

>>63921516 (OP)
>die in a self defense situation
The point of self defense is so that I'll live.

>>63923711
a true warrior should fight as if he were already dead, meditate on this

As if there was any other answer

>>63921516 (OP)
>what's your favorite way to die in a self defense situation with weapons?

This is such a gay fucking question lmao. It's like saying "Hey what's your favorite type of condom", instead of just asking which model youd fuck.

Next time man the fuck up and just ask something about dying in war, not 'in a self defense situation'.
Also, the answer is none, because if you die in a self defense situation you just look like a retarded victim who couldnt handle his shit

>>63921516 (OP)

dying to a drone after being forced to participate in Israel's self defense

>>63921516 (OP)
Smothered to death defending my morality by large breasted warrior women

>>63921516 (OP)
>On enough LSD that I have no idea what's going on except that I'm lost in the woods/jungle/mountains and ended up in a shootout with ISIS/The Fourth Reich/the ATF/whatever
>On enough PCP that this situation does not scare me
>"HAHAHAHAHAHA LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

>>63921667
>>63922195
holy based

>>63921516 (OP)
I want to die sitting on the toilet with my sequined karate suit around my ankles while shooting some of my many televisions with my .44 magnum handgun

>>63924209
Only limp wristed faggots and simpering nancy-boys use condoms, be a man.

>>63921516 (OP)
In a hospital bed surrounded by my family

>>63925948
why would you involve your family in a violent situation in a hospital bed?

>>63921516 (OP)
I really would like to die in a bayonet charge. Just get shot to pieces mid charge.

Knowingly entering combat in an unwinnable situation in order to save those who I love. All over answers are wrong.

>>63926007
apparently that situation is posting without a misspelling

>>63921516 (OP)
Detonating the C4 butt plug I keep inside my ass at all times.

>>63921516 (OP)
Trailer Park Shootout

>>63921516 (OP)
Is this the male equivalent of the female rape fantasy?

>>63921649
Boromir killed like 18 orcs single handed before they retreated amd filled him with arrows instead cause the nigga was too crazy

>>63921516 (OP)

I wouldn't say it's my favorite but 15-17 years ago, I kept having this vivid recurring dream that I was pic related defending a small coffee shop I was frequenting at the time and I would always die by an RPG round flying through the window and vaporizing my entire squad.

>>63921516 (OP)
Pulling a sick ass backflip while blowing the head off the last nearest politician before getting my 25 kill streak and nuking Tokyo in hopes that round three will set them straight

>>63926530
>defending a small coffee shop
RAMIREZ
DEFEND THE COFFEE SHOP

>>63924048
>a true warrior should fight as if he were already dead
I'm not a warrior. I'm just some guy.

>>63921516 (OP)
50 years later, in my sleep.

>>63927066
what if you hear the call to arms? will you reject it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjc5KyTN6n0

>>63927093
>call to arms?
I'm not dying for jewish foreign interests

>>63927071
I used to believe that but experience taught me otherwise. Old age is amazingly shitty. I wish I'd have known the last third of my life would be worthless misery. I would have taken far, far more risks.

>>63930842
Part of me wishes I die relatively young, 50 wouldn't be too bad of an age, still gives me time to adventure and do dumb shit but still young enough to not be fully withered like a 70 year old

>>63921516 (OP)
>bleeding out in the snow
Based.

>>63921533

>>63921591
Why is there a 40% increase in the use of this word during summer?

>what’s your favorite way to die?

The fuck kind of question is this? I don’t have a favorite way. I don’t like to die.

>>63931610
This is just the scene that popped to mind when I posted this (>>63931733)

>>63922094
Based and neo-Western pilled.

>>63921516 (OP)
Exhaustion after days of battle, while still standing.

>>63922094
What you’ve described is the basic template for a male fantasy. It’s the plot of every male-coded movie and story. We all share it. It boils down to “kill my enemy, earn mating rights”. Very grug-brained.

>>63921516 (OP)
For me, it's the classic:
>damaged, borderline misanthrope meets a girl who cares about him in spite of his cold exterior
>he comes to care for her too, its lonely being a recluse after all
>bad guys come after his girl or people she cares about, he steps up to defend her or them both because its the right thing to do, and its the only way he can think to repay her kindness
>takes them on in ones and twos at first, before they realize the depth of the threat they're facing
>they reorganize, bring in their best or just come with more numbers
>epic final showdown where our hero atones for past sins by singlehandedly killing every last motherfucker threatening his lady or her loved ones, and driven by his love for the girl
>standing victorious, he collapses from the series of wounds suffered in the course of the fight
>dies in her arms, thanking her for redeeming him

>>63931848
Beautiful.

I want to say that whole thing is also the female fantasy, told from the male perspective, just right up until Chad dies. A feral or disconnected man that is only tameable/fixable by a girls love, uses extreme violence in her defense. But in the girl’s fantasy, he is always victorious, no matter how many adversaries he is up against. The man in their fantasies is usually extremely difficult if not impossible to kill. I say “usually” not because I’m aware of any counterexamples, but because I’m not positive they don’t exist.

>>63931870
Very true. There's definite shades of it in works as introductory as Disney's Beauty and the Beast. This difference in outcome makes sense to me from the woman's eyes, she wants him to survive because of the at least implied promise of children. Strong husband, strong kids, and all that.

What's more mysterious to me is why the male perspective tends to end in death. Is it a literary holdover from the days when Christian theology suffused everything, and so the understanding was that violent men necessarily must meet violent ends? That doesn't strike me as impossible, so many tropes we take for granted have similar roots. But I wonder if there's not some deeper, primal desire here just like there is in the female version. But if it is, then what is this seemingly counterintuitive desire to die nobly driven by?

>>63932759
Oh for fuck sake.

https://youtu.be/WCBR43CHNd0

>>63931870
>>63931945
not everybody is going to die violently, but the ones that die violently are going to be the heroes when it's required, either you live in a community where people are willing to die, or you live in a shithole of everybody for themselves, that's why those myths turn like that on the long term

>>63931827
My power fantasy was always "kill a crime lord, take over his operation, live a luxurious life".
Women were never a part of the equation. Bitches are worthless anyway,

An unjust death after a difficult victory.

>>63933054
>live a luxurious life
>women were never part of the equation

Women are the main element that drive the desire to live a luxury life. Your fantasy is the same as all the others. Same fundamental ingredients.

>step 1: fight and kill male adversary
>step 2: earn mating rights over nearby female(s)

It’s a bit disconcerting how simple we are. If any other male animal of any other species could daydream, he’d probably have similar fantasies.

>>63933054
> Bitches are worthless anyway

This always struck me as a hilarious statement. Like a kind of male posturing to indicate that there is such an abundance of pussy in one’s life that one is unaware of its true value. But It is your sole imperative, by virtue of being male, to ejaculate inside all the girls. There is real argument to be made that the girls are actually some of if not the most valuable things in existence. The kind of shit we fight and kill and risk our lives over. Warm hole ultimately drives everything you do. I’m not simping btw, what follows from “the girls are invaluable resources” is that they ought to be property.

>>63933473
Serial killers who killed women are more based than any white knight.

Like the Chinese captain from Flowers of War

>>63933479
All women agree, kek.

>>63921516 (OP)
getting lost in time, like tears in the rain

>>63933715
Time to die.

>>63921516 (OP)
Fighting a delaying action to hold back an enemy army as my friends escape.
Is there really a better way to leave this life?
This actually happens in a book I wrote.

>>63933753
Was thinking about this earlier today. Recalling how when men and women were asked “would you sacrifice your life for your family”, men overwhelmingly said yes, and women overwhelmingly said no. Probably for the same reason mother bears will eat their own kids. A woman’s reproductive output is zero if she dies, because her kids die anyway, but the instinct within a man, given a threat, to fight at great personal cost and risk, gives him a chance of success. Even if you die, your kids get to live and so your reproductive output is >0. Conclusion: altruism, if it exists, exists only in men. Women kind of live in a vacuum where the center of mass of their life is their vagina/womb.

>>63927093
DEFENDERS OF STEEL, NOW WE ARE HOME

>>63926027
Underrated

>>63921516 (OP)
Sending people I care about away to safety while I face down a hit squad, promised them I'll join them as soon as I can escape but we both knew that was a lie. Picking them off one by one, they never had a chance and they never even knew it. But I'd already come to the understanding that I am too far gone. Too misanthropic, too prideful, too scared to earnestly try and be happy only to have it fail and expose my innermost pure and innocent feelings as laughably naive.

I find the last attacker scared, hiding in the corner. Just barely 18 by my guess. Begs me not to kill him. Gun is shaking in his hands so much he's more likely to blow his own brains out. I grab the top of the slide and tell him to hold it steady so he doesn't fuck it up and help him aim it closer up to my heart. Don't want this to take too long and as much as it pains me to admit, I'm a bit scared of the pain. The gunshot feels hotter than I expected but the adrenaline is taking the worst of it.

I tell him he did good, but he isnt cut out for this life. Use the money from whatever bounty got put on me to get out of here and don't waste your ambition. He stumbles out in disbelief. No one is ever gonna believe his story. Blood loss getting worse now, I just need to rest a bit against the wall. Pull out my wallet and find the photo of my dog who died 25 years ago. I want the last thing I see in this world to be the one thing who truly loved and understood me. I'm not much for praying or religion but if there's an afterlife I only hope he's there waiting for a long walk with me again.

>>63921516 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1Pily0uyLs

>>63921516 (OP)
I live a fullfilling and satisfying life until i eventually reach a ripe age of 102 and finally get put in an ICU with only days left, then one day when I'm surrounded by my beautiful wife, children and grandchildren, an assailant enters the room so i draw my gun in self defense, we both shoot each other and die on the spot, no one else is harmed.

>>63936965
>Sending people I care about away to safety while I face down a hit squad
>being an existential cuck
Evolution really did a number on you

>>63936965
wtf is wrong with you

>>63921516 (OP)
I want to die a hood death.
I'll be in my section 8 housing paid for by chuds working at walmart recording my latest dis track on my Obama phone. Ops drive by in a Nissan Altima and unload on me with dracos and glawks wid dem switches. As I'm bleeding out, I tell my niggas "Tell mah mama I died like a real G fr fr!" Then I'll get one of those African American funerals:
https://youtu.be/SOkrefTpKmE?feature=shared

>>63937725

>>63933795
>altruism, if it exists, exists only in men.
women help take care of the tribe's young all the time

>>63939841
>dying of tb in a gunfight

I also hope to die in the snow, but to a single katana cut across my chest, as i drop to my knees and whisper my dying wish for my son to be raised by my killer, himself a great warrior, who will have to respect this wish, and raise my son into the warrior who will one day finish my dream of uniting japan.

>>63921535
Well I guess if you die on the spot you do kind of hold your age you had immediately before you got shot.

I'd like to go out in a duel at 10 paces, both of us armed with a flamethrower.
>captcha: AAAAYRS
which I imagine would be pretty close to both of our last words.

>>63940259
people say it's a really peaceful way to go

>get captured
>frens read my in-case-of-capture note
>bomb me and my captors pls
>get bombed by frens

>>63924833
DEATH BY SNU-SNU!

>hear intruders downstairs
>wife is still asleep
>kiss her on the forehead
>go downstairs with my syringe full of fentanyl / water mix
>spot thief, wait until he's busy
>sneak up behind him
>inject fent.png
>tie him up
>basement
>sub basement
>hidden room in sub basement
>ball gag, blindfold, sex swing, handcuffs
>repeatedly rape him after narcan
>after an hour of hard, ass breaking rape i take the ballgag out and cum in his mouth while he's crying
>fent, rope, put him in the back of my truck
>drive into forest, dump him and leave him tied
And when he comes back we will duel with swords, I let him kill me but he will never recover. Even his son will not trust another man.

>>63921516 (OP)
Hail of gunfire in a shootout with the gestapo while naked and high on PCP

>>63946765
Is there babyoil and bayonets involved?

getting droned when giving of blowjob to sergeant

>>63927093
IF YOU LIKE METAL YOU'RE MY FRIEND

>>63947717
Even industrial?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkW-K5RQdzo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXHBKUbUmCs

>>63947725
It's from a Manowar song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR39birKwwo

>>63947743
Oh, ok. Industrial is so manly, I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uOBveFKdGs

>>63939462
They do, but this is a far cry from sacrificing one’s life. One is just barely costly, the other is the ultimate personal cost.

>>63937635
Darwin approves of hanging back and killing the thing threatening your progeny.

>>63937659
Nah that anon has a pure heart. I liked his story. Not sure why he’d want to die though. Just kill the 18 year old and go on living. THAT Darwin does NOT approve of.

I want to die in a last-stand fighting the VDV in Iran with my section (Windsor Regiment). Something like a shot to the neck. Not an instant kill, but a short quick death looking at a blue sky.
Maybe a hallucination of memories of my family w/ attached song playing would be good.

For real, this has been a dream for years if I was to die. WW3 seems to bring me closer to such a goal.

https://youtu.be/ueKJ1753w5I

>>63921516 (OP)