Thread 63940079

>*strikes you smartly on the cheek with a velvet glove*

>"You, sir, have besmirched my honor. I challenge you to a duel at dawn! Tradition dictates that you may select the weapon of choice."

What do you choose? Keep in mind, he gets the same thing.

FAMAS

>>63940079 (OP)
He's getting 17+1 black talons in the chest and the funeral service at dawn. I don't allow niggers to touch me.

>>63940090
That is a white man, which you are clearly not, given your lack of gentlemanly honor.

>>63940079 (OP)
>Effeminate little wannabe richfag gayboy in a suit who doesn’t lift
Standard size/weight concrete cinderblocks. I crush his faggot head with one good swing.

Let's go

>>63940079 (OP)
10 gauge shotguns, at 2 paces.

>>63940079 (OP)
Smallsword. To first blood.

>>63940079 (OP)
bare knuckles

>>63940079 (OP)
>What do you choose? Keep in mind, he gets the same thing.
30lbs sledge hammers.
Despite all my faults, I'm still a big and strong ogre of a man.
That dandy looks like could barely even lift one of those fuckers.
Guaranteed win for me.

>>63940090
Based and correct. Who let this mentally ill weirdo out away from his handlers and why does he think it’s ok to just hit someone with his gloves and not face repercussions?
>His face when

FN MAG

Ive seen its mechanism devastate many a twink, its a ruthless machine. The twink would struggle to cock it giving me ample time to smartly fire a full belt at him from the prone bipod assited position

King Cobras. I, however, have slowly conditioned myself to be immune to cobra venom over the years. After being bitten multiple times, it's just a matter of holding out in hand to hand until he succumbs to the venom.

Who ever can shotgun more cans of white Monster and lives wins.

>>63940079 (OP)
Pistols.

>>63940115
Yum chucks

>>63940079 (OP)
I make a criminal complaint of assault consumated by a battery and the verbal threat.

>>63940220
>needs ma-
what did she mean by this?
male something?
anyway i'm taking a look at he rock cd collection, she better not have trash taste

>>63940474
male organ donors

>>63940079 (OP)
>What do you choose?
Gyrojets, firing at each other from one meter away. Whoever flinch’s the most loses.

I loudly proclaim that we shall have a duel with claymores
retard will show up with a sword
I will show up with a ballbearing lined plastic explosive

I'd go for épée, it keeps with the style and its duels are traditionally done to first blood rather than death which protects me from being prosecuted so long as we can agree to call it a blood sport.

>>63940111
>>63940163
>>63940165
>Effeminate little wannabe richfag gayboy in a suit who doesn’t lift

Just thought I'd drop that he's on record as absolutely slaying puss.

>>63940518
>okay so just give me a minute to set it up
>now please walk slowly towards the claymore while I hide behind this wall of sandbags

>>63940523
>I'd go for épée
He will destroy you.

>>63940479
i will donate my cock and the semen from my balls

>>63940079 (OP)
Balloons. And blunderbusses.

>>63940079 (OP)
Why do the period illustrations always give them such small feet?

>>63940079 (OP)
pencils

>>63940537
And I'd get a cool scar on my face for it, then I'd get a peaky blinders haircut and walk around in a poorly fitted polyester suit while pretending I'm an anti-hero and muttering 'sigma male' to myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGAIB8GwJFg

Jericho with an empty chamber. Goyim who don't own Jerichos don't know how to rack the slide. I'll shoot him while he skins his fingertips.

>>63940154
bare knuckles. to first tooth.

>>63940572
Would you prefer clown shoes? Also their head and chests are rather large, assuming the chest isn't a massive amount of padding.

>>63940079 (OP)
"So let me get this straight. Your wit is so entirely lacking, and your ego so utterly fragile; that your response to being the butt of a joke is to escalate and threaten me with physical violence? Doctor must have slapped the black off your ass when you were born. So, sorry to disappoint, but being a civilized human being that doesn't get bent out of shape over mere words means I'm not going to take your bait. Now go eat shit somewhere else, there are adults talking here."

>>63940079 (OP)

Am I allowed to make the weapon of choice a challenge? Riding unicycles for endurance. Whoever falls off first is executed. 99% chance just instantly win. Now with the 1% or less chance I don't instantly win it's an endurance contest unless they can only kind of ride

>>63940079 (OP)
Flamethrowers at ten paces.

>>63940079 (OP)
I rape him.

>>63940079 (OP)
Katanas or Cavalry sabres. Either way he's fucking doomed; I've trained my whole life for this.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sDsn-RRmDXU&pp=ygUTRnJ5IGFuZCBsYXVyaWUgZHVlbA%3D%3D

>>63940079 (OP)
What's up with the sewn in fake vagina on the dudes pants?

LMAO WHAT THE FUCK!

WHY?!

>>63940533
kek

I'm honestly surprised no one suggested dildos yet.

>>63940348
Bum chunks

>>63941011
see >>63940115
>didnt read the thread awsrd

>>63941134
Those are clearly nunchucks

>>63940079 (OP)
I immediately cocnlude I am in a self defense situation and plug him in the chest with several 9mm hollow points

>>63940079 (OP)
I choose ninja stars.

>>63940079 (OP)
Bowie knives and coats

>>63940079 (OP)
Gonna crash this duel with no survivors

>>63940079 (OP)
>*strikes you smartly on the cheek with a velvet glove*
I punch him in the jaw. You throw down the gauntlet not slap someone with it.

>>63940079 (OP)
My penis. First one to jerk it to completion wins.

>>63940079 (OP)
Hand grenades at 10 paces

>>63940523
>Slaying puss
I could fold that skinny twink into origami and stuff him up his own asshole barehanded. The dipshit opinions of Euro women means less than nothing.

>>63940079 (OP)
Khukri

>>63940139
>>63940523
Do you even own one?

>>63940079 (OP)
A rapier. It was an honor knowing you

>>63940079 (OP)
Circumcision

We shall duel in the traditional Australian style, with War Boomerangs

>>63940533
>not wearing one on the front of a helmet.

I stomp my foot and loudly proclaim that we shall fight with plastic swords inside our local public pool. If the retard actually agrees to those conditions, I push him into the water as we're about to get in and run away giggling

>>63940079 (OP)
Sledgehammers in the local bay at high tide, of course.

>>63940079 (OP)
Dane axe.

I also show up in full viking garb. I'm Scandinavian and weigh about twice as much as him and have a full beard. If twig boy can even lift the axe, then he will be too intimidated to properly attack.

I would beat him to death right there for slapping me like a bitch. I'm 6'2 and work construction. I can grip 180lbs with one hand, I could just crush his throat or rip his dick off or both. He could even try to swing his gay little crutch at me and it would just end all the way up his ass. Fops like that needed to have little fag rules and guns for their gay duels because they were literally too weak to just kill each other.

>>63940079 (OP)
I tell him to fuck off.

>>63940079 (OP)
I would refuse the challenge on the grounds that he is a ruffian of low breeding, and no gentleman. Any true gentleman knows the proper etiquette for arranging a meeting over a matter of honor.

>>63940079 (OP)
I throw acid on his pretty boy face immediately after he opens his mouth to speak. I've met his "kind" before, if you know what I mean.
Like the euro equivalent of those ladyboys down east in the vietnam-thailand area. This body's being saved up for the right one, and no offense to him, but I'm not interested with dressing up like a horse and having to scrub up the mess from the floorboards afterwards, if you know what I mean. Just not in me.
So I reach into my jacket pocket for my emergency ziploc bag full of acid and throw it directly at his face like a water balloon. It's perforated so I can't walk funny or use that pocket for anything else, but holy shit it bursts open like an Indian next to train tracks when it hits something, which it does. His face, with the little shitty-shorts look he gives me while doing unspeakable things to me in his filthy mind. It's disgusting, if you know what I mean. Gotta keep the acid handy for those kinds of people. When I go out to one of "those neighborhoods" to get my groceries I always go out in a jacket even when it's hot because I gotta keep my arsenal on me. Never can be too safe. It's 3 bags of acid in one pocket and a super soaker of the stuff on the right. Head on a swivel.
So after I acid the fucker's little Timothee Chardonnay glory hole face I get up in his face like a 90s skateboarder getting up to the camera and go "nice shit, shitter!" while he's probably screaming like a little pussy. That's what I'd do.

>>63941991
He'd probably kick your ass with some Sherlock homes kung fu cane shit.

>>63940079 (OP)
One FC Fairtex gloves with tape under and over the LeRoy gauze.

>>63941139
look closelier

>>63941359
Underrated

>>63940079 (OP)
The cheapest, shittiest 9mm loaded with +p++ ammo

>>63941811
Is it legal to walk around with this much rizz?

I challenge him to battle in Ah64s. I then use my superior sim gaming autism to blast him without lifting off

>>63940079 (OP)
A box of hand grenades each and an open field.
I might die but it’s gonna be the funniest shit ever observed for the spectators.

>>63940079 (OP)
how did this silly shitpost trigger the insecurities of multiple anons?

>>63940079 (OP)
>Why wait? The "duel" can start now, fatherfucker.

>>63940523
>slaying puss
At the risk of outing myself as a Eurotard, I have to rectify that that guy in OP has the geh. Literally have-a-husband levels of geh

KSG-25s loaded with a random mixture of rubber baton rounds, bolos, bird-bombs, dragon's breath etc. exotic meme ammo, in order of increasing lethality. Frag12 as last round.

>>63941387

>Euro
>implying America never had a gentleman class who would duel and shit

Whatever weapon but the honour is dead in this century so I'll come with friends and he'll be known as The Buss in the Boots among his friends since then

>>63942665
The law bends to accommodate your betters.

>>63940079 (OP)
I dress like this.

>>63940079 (OP)
Rapier and dagger. Odds are he is very good with a smallsword which leads to blading the body so only your leading side is facing the opponent. A rapier and dagger in that stance means he is pretty much not able to utilize his dagger in the slightest. If I stand more squared, it gives me much more room to react with either rapier and dagger. Additionally, it would lull him into a false sense of security. Rapier is the primogenitor of smallswords and epees, yes, but the mechanical advantages both in a bind and setting up a play matter so much more. I am banking on him being unprepared to deal with the much slower and more force intensive plays. With luck, he will attempt a thrust, get parried with my offhand dagger, attempt a disengage and find he is much more used to lighter and shorter blades and get stuck, while I've already closed with a passing step and hit him in the upper arm with a thrust. Keep your range and know your measure with a rapier and unless he is easily able to mentally swap between smallsword and rapier measure, you can bait out and counter an attack a la Fabris in time if you are good enough. ESPECIALLY if you know he has no presence in the bind, a counter thrust will be extremely easy.
>Picrel is Col Monsterry's advice for why gentlemen should learn fisticuffs.

>>63940079 (OP)
Hey pal talk is cheap.

>>63940079 (OP)
Matched sawback pistols. Though of course, as the details of a duel are never arranged on the spot and the two parties never deal with one another directly, my second will relay my decision to his second.

>>63941206
How long did someone bake in the desert heat before they came up with this lol

>>63940746
>Am I allowed to make the weapon of choice a challenge? Riding unicycles for endurance. Whoever falls off first is executed.
That's not how duels work.

>>63940115
cum chucks

>>63940079 (OP)
I beat the shit out of him and then walk away because dueling is gay

>>63940079 (OP)
Fists
And then I immediately deck him in the face as he never dictated which specific dawn he was referring to and it's always dawn somewhere.

>>63940079 (OP)
Roman candles.

>>63940474
>she better not have trash taste

You know she will, I'll bet money you eon't see a single .38 Special or REO Speedwagon album. I'll bet she's never even heard of Dire Straits.

>>63940079 (OP)
A twelve inch black rubber cock

>>63942313
absolutely PROPER/10

thats the way to do duels, with handshakes and a snifter of brandy afterwards.

>>63940079 (OP)
Nahui.
The boy will be fucked until he melts and everyone will understand everything.

>>63940079 (OP)
>How dare you share the same air as me, a fancy lad. Father will send some of his underlings to give you a good what for.

>>63940079 (OP)
I choose... Kirisute Gomen
>slashes you and walks away

>>63940572
It was the style at the time.

>>63940079 (OP)
>What do you choose?
I look at him like he's autistic and use the following statements:
>What?
>Who the fuck are you?
>Fuck off.
And then proceed to ignore him knowing full well he now looks like an autistic weirdo to everyone around him, destroying his honor and reputation without firing a shot.

>>63940079 (OP)
I choose hand grenades that explode when they are in the hands of a gay man.

>>63940533
Okay cracker.

>>63947300
Anon are you suicidal or something?

>>63940079 (OP)
Let's be honest here. In the vast majority of cases he gets popped in the face. It either happens immediately or after the dumbfoundedness is replaced by seething anger over having just been hit in the face by some random twink.

Anyways, 40 pound steel macebells. I'm an unga bunga tier brute physically, he's pretty clearly not.

>>63947415
Read this.
>>63943963
He is sure to win because his speed is superior, and training masterful, too.

>>63947421
There's a reason why boxing has weight classes. Being bigger doesn't make you slower and there's no substitute for mass x velocity.

>>63947421
Speed means fuck all if you barely have the strength to just merely lift the weapon while the other guy can lift and swing it relatively casually. Far as "fisticuffs" goes this isn't a friendly rousing match. Our little star's probably retarded enough to legitimately not expect it, likely being halfway done with the word "sir" when it hits.

As the other anon said, size doesn't mean slow. Making that assumption is how you end up getting VERY badly hurt.

>>63940079 (OP)
Bow, I'm not great but I have way more experinace than the average guy on the street.

>>63940079 (OP)
>Obviously zesty
>Closeted
>Overly concerned about public appearances
Assuming this is a dueling period gentleman I'd select 2ft long dildos as the weapons. Even winning would be loosing, hell any sort of involvement would be an absolute failure for his public appearance removing the impetus for a duel in the first place

>>63947525
I'm sure to win because I'm stronger and very likely faster than him in every relevant way and he's about to get hit by what is basically a freight train of a sucker punch to the face. He's dumb enough to slap some random guy in the face expecting to get out some speech about his wounded honor and a challenge. The fight isn't actually on yet when that punch lands. Much more likely to just be a very eccentric sperg and/or a model in over his head than someone that actually knows what they're doing. If he takes the punch and doesn't go down then we'll find out what he's really made of.

Btw, even if you have a gun in your pants if the other guy blasts you in the jaw before you can react it means fuck all. Even if his cane is a sword cane it doesn't mean a damn thing if that sudden blow connects while he's attempting to bloviate and it puts him on the floor while it's still in the sheath

>>63943963
>Only if your opponent has not studied his Agrippa, Which I have.

>>63947513
>>63947593
you are fat

>>63947619
A little. Spare tire just will not fucking die.

>>63947622
>being fat in 2025
Use Ozempic nigger.

>>63940079 (OP)
That's assault and threatening of life. He's being dropped on spot then and there with a Beretta for touching my cheddar.

>>63947643
Weight loss drugs are for pussies.
Just losing weight isn't good enough. I'd rather be strong with a little pudge left to be worked off than be thin and weak. Not getting the body to bludgeon someone to death with a 40 pound mace through Ozempic or any of the other weight loss drugs out there. Without a proper physique a lot of weapons are basically worthless.

>>63947674
fpbp

>>63940079 (OP)
rapiers obviously, i got a couple and every drunk banter ended in the oponnent folding when challenged

>>63940079 (OP)
How bout some WP grenades.

>>63947674
Why do fatties delude themselves into thinking they’re strong?

You’re just a fatass, retard.

>>63947714
Fatties have a secret reserve of strength that they can tap into when they're angry. I remember when I was a kid me and my fatass sister were walking to the library and she was walking super slow and it pissed me off so I ditched her, and that bitch sprinted like 2 miles on back roads and beat me there by like 5 minutes without breaking a sweat. I thoroughly believe lardasses can go Super Saiyan on you if you push them too far, and with all that mass and momentum there's not a lot you could do about it

>>63940474
I've got bad news for you

>>63947643
Say goodbye to all your collagen.

>>63941206
I remember my first time seeing this image, it was posted in a melee weapon thread with the words "this is my niggerbeater" attached

>>63947593
>Internet tough guys when they are faced with the grave threat of some effeminate retard with a top hat

>>63949158
Getting randomly hit in the face is the problem, not necessarily the effeminate retard doing it. Basically if you don't want to get hit back then don't hit other people and certainly don't hit randoms on the street in the face. Might as well be asking for it. You randomly smack me in the face and don't have your guard up there's a pretty good shot you're going to get hit and I know I punch well enough to ruin his day.

I know I'm legitimately more built and fit than he is. Thing is it's not an "OOOH I'M SO TOUGH!" thing, it's more along the lines of him looking so weak and effeminate. I'd honestly be amazed if he could fight at all. Even if he knows how to punch I'd expect it to land with the same impact as a 12 year old. If he's legit faster than me while I'd find that pretty impressive it's not going to matter when instead of actually being ready to fight after slapping someone in the face he just manages to get out "You, si-" at the absolute most before getting hit back.

If he just walked up and threw down the gauntlet by literally throwing his glove to the ground instead of physically hitting me with it he'd get what >>63947188 said.

>>63940079 (OP)
boxing
if he makes it to round 5 I'll give him the win

why do I gotta accept some fag's duel? fuck him, he can show up at dawn and sit there all he wants, I ain't goin'.
>that means he wins by default!
who cares? what's he gonna do, go brag about how the random guy on the street he challenged to a duel didn't show up? no one's gonna praise him, they'll just think he's crazy and give him a wide berth
>his equally dumb friends'll care!
oh no, a gaggle of queers might think I'm dishonorable or unsportsmanlike.

not engaging with crazy/stupid people has worked out well for me so far, I'm not about to buck the trend

>>63940079 (OP)
I'm putting a golf-ball sized hole straight through his frock coat. He will die weeks later from lead poisoning.

>>63944313
>REO
My fuckin nigga

>>63947002
>Saiheiji Tomo, treasurer of the Owari-Tokugawa family, and ignored him further when Tomo demanded him to apologize. Feeling merciful, the samurai offered the peasant his wakizashi so he had a chance to defend himself, but instead, the commoner decided to run away with his wakizashi, causing further dishonor. The incident resulted in Tomo being disowned from the Owari-Tokugawa clan. He later regained his honor by seeking out the commoner, collecting the wakizashi and killing the whole family.
Metal af. Also;
>Hisamitsu's name at birth was Kanenoshin. At age eight, he was adopted into the Shigetomi-Shimazu, a branch family of the main Shimazu house. Kanenoshin, now named Matajirō, came of age in 1828, and took the adult name Tadayuki.
>He returned to the main Shimazu house in 1861, and it was then that he changed his name to Hisamitsu.
WTF, nips?

>>63941206
Is this why people live in Arizona?

>>63950661
What can I say other than that I can't fight this feeling anymore.

>>63943155
Who the fuck did you mean to reply to?

>>63953308
Give OP the Flying Turkeyshot Trot.

>>63940079 (OP)
Retard thinks he's from the early 19th century, but I know the ways of the 14th. Sword and buckler. Arming swords are tricky to use, and, unless you've trained with a buckler, you won't know how to coordinate the two. I win 99.999% of the time.

>>63955395
People who duelled trained in fencing from the moment they were old enough to pick up a sword, challenging him to a sword fight is full retard behaviour.

>>63955454
There's a huge difference between smallsword and arming sword. Everything from the way they're balanced, to the way their used, to fighting stances. And that's without even getting into the use of the buckler, which a 19th century duelist would have zero familiarity with.

>>63947683
Lurk more.

>>63940079 (OP)
"No."
>Walk away

I tell him that I'll meet him at the park at sunrise and we should both wear masks
Then I get in a fight with another guy and tell him to be at the park at sunrise in a mask

>>63940079 (OP)
Poleaxes and harness. That twink is going to snap.

>>63942545
....still nun chucks

we each get one of these. jury rigged to be a button you press to detonate instantly. thats it.

>>63943107
>trying to draw a gun on someone whose already drawn a glove on you
lmao you fool

>>63940079 (OP)
>BAM
>i feared for my life and acted in self defense

>>63958398
that dude? you think a jury is seriously gonna look at that guy and say "yeah he was clearly a threat". look at him. its like gunning down ronald mcdonald in broad daylight. whose gonna seriously believe you feared for your life.

What was the cheating situation like with dueling? Did they count down from 3 and shoot eachother? Walk x paces then turn around? What’s stopping me from shooting the other guy before the count hits 0, or if I take fewer paces, or take them faster? Why don’t I just shoot Reginald as he’s challenging me to a duel? It is, after all, life and death.

>>63940079 (OP)
>"Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat ass, did you know that? Look this idiot, one ball and no brains. He can't even button his own tweed petticoat properly."

>>63956657
FPBP

>>63940079 (OP)
Piss in a super soaker, Alternatively battery acid
No one wins

>>63941380
>starts jerking you off furiously
Heh, you’re going to be sorry!

itt: people who get dunked on irl and then think about the perfect comeback in the shower later and how they would totally win a fight

>>63940079 (OP)
1905 bayonet. This fight is going to the ground.

>>63940079 (OP)
81mm mortars at 300 meters, single HE round each, we both start with our mortar disassembled & the HE round not prepared, the duelists shall remain kneeling should the other party manage to fire first.

>>63940474
RIP anon

>>63940079 (OP)
Very well, good sir. I shall choose M29 Davy Crocketts at ten paces.

>>63959121
>What’s stopping me from shooting the other guy before the count hits 0, or if I take fewer paces, or take them faster? Why don’t I just shoot Reginald as he’s challenging me to a duel?
Your subsequent murder trial

>>63947593
>I win because I would just break the rules of the scenario
Okay retard congrats. You sucker punch the guy, then your life is ruined in jail or your just killed outright by his entourage/bodyguards. Oh yeah also he has a forcefield and teleports behind you.

>>63960028
>Rules of the scenario require you to get get and accept it
The dude just assaulted me you retard. Again, if he doesn't fucking hit me he gets told "Fuck off retard" and life goes on.

>>63940079 (OP)
>"If a man should challenge me now, I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot, and kill him."

>>63940079 (OP)
I choose the banjo!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaVEGgsvM7o&ab_channel=nightsun333

>>63959195
>>63947683
Buddy, what do you think FPBP stands for?

>>63940079 (OP)
Dragons dildo.

>>63960233
It's the first post that reached the quality of being the best post.

>>63943155
That fuckinf milk comercial

>>63960247
No

If it started with a glove let’s keep it that way

>>63960041
I’m just saying, coming into a thread about a specific scenario and going, “lol nah I would just do something different!”, is gay and stupid. Especially when your retarded headcanon logically ends with you getting your head kicked in by 6 different dudes. You wouldn’t do shit irl now just pick your dueling weapon and move on.

>>63960501
You could have just made the thread with that one single detail changed to be "he throws his immaculate white glove down at your feet" instead of "eccentric dumbass commits assault" on a board FULL of people who regularly think about self defense and aren't just going to take getting slapped in the face. Slap me in the face and I'm going to hit you back. Simple as. And why on earth would "6 dudes" jump in when the eccentric retard hit me first and got smacked back for it? Unless he tries to fight further it's over right there.

Also, I said already 40 pound macebells as my weapon of choice you illiterate rube. Specifically because that's something I could swing with murderous intent while he'd probably have trouble just holding the thing.

>>63940079 (OP)
Sic semper aristocratus, or something.

>>63940079 (OP)
>They'll be pistols at dawn ya git.

>>63940079 (OP)
>What do you choose?

My dick.

>Keep in mind, he gets the same thing.

He sure will.

>>63940111
Historical reenactor and tailor here. Well, to be fair the fitting is very good because it's supposed to be from the regency era (beginning of the 19th century). He sews all his clothing by hand and using period correct materials and methods. Yes, he's an actual homosexual.

>>63940079 (OP)
velvet gloves, until death

>>63959883
Well what are my chances of being executed by the state? If <0.5, then I’m better off shooting Reginald where he stands. Assuming my chances in a duel with him are also 1 in 2. Probably not though, since Reginald is ballsy and has probably done this before. So it’s an ever better idea to murk him right as he slaps me with his glove.

Did they shoot or imprison murderers back then in Bongland?

Also, this was way back in the day, without hyper organized and equipped police forces and without cameras everywhere. I bet my chances of getting away with murder are pretty good. I just need to skip town.

All of this matters because like I said: this is life and death that hangs in the balance. No doubt men in the past considered and did things like this.

>>63940079 (OP)
It'd be neat to snipe at each other with muzzleloaders
I wonder if that has ever been done before

I guess it would be hard to control for equal terrain and concealment on each side

>>63960592
Yeah, I would heem you and so would the dainty in the OP.

>>63960592
>40lb macebells
Best answer ITT

>>63960592
> You meet on the field, each handed a 40lb macebell.
> He drops his onto the ground and puts his fists up in a fighting stance.
> You slowly swing your macebell, but he smoothly evades your blow.
> Twenty more swings, twenty more misses.
> You're spent, exhausted.
> He closes the distance and strikes your chin with an expert hook.
> You're down and out.
> He picks up a rock and kills you.
That's probably how it would go.
Nobody's strong enough to swing a 40 pound macebell as a weapon. Too slow to swing, too slow to recover, too exhausting. There's a reason melee weapons were so light, and a Persian cavalry treatise noted that the optimal weight for a war-mace was between 1 and 2 pounds!

>>63961259
>Did they shoot or imprison murderers back then in Bongland?
Hanging.
>I just need to skip town.
Just refuse the challenge then. You won't have to deal with the social repercussions. What's polite society going to do? Ostracize you? You're planning on living in another part of the country under an assumed name any way. That way you don't have to worry for the rest of your life about the authorities somehow finding you.

>>63959121
>>63961259
Depending on the era, locale, and particular arrangements, there's going to be at least three, possibly as many as seven other people present at the duel besides you and your opponent. One of them will be your opponent's second who he handpicked to act as his representative in a literal life-or-death matter, meaning they're probably pretty close. There would also be a spare set of weapons at hand, plus everyone present would be a gentleman and thus have a non-zero chance of packing. Shooting your opponent in the back (with a single-shot pistol no less) isn't going to end well for you.

>>63947326
please tell me that is ai

>>63942324
Even unconscious he can't stop himself from going for the bike

>>63961486
Not AI. Old school Photoshop.
I can't find the original pic right now, but If I recall correctly she's holding a cell phone in the original pic.
And there's obviously no mine. In some east african tribes, women wear ceramic plates in their lower lib and stretch it out, incrementally fitting larger and larger plates.
It's a fashion thing, like the Tibetian and Buramese tribes where women wear stacks of metal rings around their necks that eventually push their collar bones down and make it look like they've got super long necks.

>>63940079 (OP)
ICBMs at 10 million paces.

>>63961447
> Just refuse the challenge then. You won't have to deal with the social repercussions

I got so carried away with my bloodlust and need for satisfaction after Reginald slapped me, that I didn’t even consider non-violence, kek.

>>63961528
I don't get it. You will both get nuked. Why the distance matters?

>>63940079 (OP)
Just hands and feet

>>63940079 (OP)
Gatling guns at 100 paces. Because it would be fun.

>>63940079 (OP)
>Looks like a dex build
Sledgehammers

>>63961615
Because I’m better at programming, math, and science than he is and he may not even hit close to me let alone get the ICBM fired.

>>63961615
>oops, I accidentally nuked india
>oops, I also accidentally nuked india

>>63961903
Oh no! Gentlemanly honor demands we try again.
>oops, I accidentally nuked china this time
>oops, so have I

>Breaking : Pollution Rates Drop to Pre-Industrial Revolution Levels
>honor still not restored

>>63940079 (OP)
I'd have shot him on the spot if you hadn't reminded me of proper dueling etiquette. So, I choose 18" rubber dildos. The floppy kind.

>>63940079 (OP)
We shall both use Katanas, I shall have the advantage since I've been studying the blade ever since I got my first Katana at age 14 from a merchant of forbidden weapons who briefly set up shop at the local mall near the Gamestop. I am spiritually atuned to my blade and my hability has grown exponentially and I might even surpass my sensei, Ichigo-sama. This kid and his brutish western ways won't stand a chance

>>63961426
>turns it into a fistfight
That's not going to help him. I don't know why you're just assuming there's totally no way I can fight without a weapon. What would help him is about half a ton of protein and creatine and a lot of time in the gym with a trainer.
Also, he's the one bleating about honor. He's basically forfeiting the duel as he has ignored the terms! Use the macebell or your honor will never recover victorian~kyun!
>you just can't bro
My job is lifting, running with, and swinging around 80 pound objects that are more of a pain in the ass than any macebell.

Legitimately the best move is to just apologize, take the much lighter hit to his autism than his face would take, and walk away making sure to avoid conflict instead of trying to pick a fight with randos. Otherwise it's a game of "I win, you lose."
Challenging people to duels is dangerous before you ever step foot on the field. The other guy could choose pistols at 20 paces... or he could pick something that gives him a clear edge if not just a flat out instant win because he doesn't give a shit and just got a perfectly good excuse to bludgeon an idiot.

Post duels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bos2ZTGNZc

>>63960592
>"eccentric dumbass commits assault"
that's not assault, that's battery. odd legal difference.

>>63963453
The best duel in any movie is from the Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, were the director spent 17 minutes setting it up beginning with the initial insult, the inadvertent and more serious insult that follows it (after which the original incident and the character and subplot that drove the first 30 minutes of the movie is immediately forgotten and never mentioned again), the indirect challenge via seconds, arranging for the duel to be held, showing the leadup to the fighting with everything from having a doctor check the main character's pulse to rubbing the soles of his shoes in sawdust for traction to sizing his opponent who he has never seen before that moment... and the camera cuts away right before the duel starts and we never see it.
And it's unironically great.

>>63940079 (OP)
So how many kiddos did Trump rape?

>>63940079 (OP)
>"Your conduct is beneath me. I will not stain my honor by duelling with a sot such as yourself. How dare you question my honor?"
>turns to my friends, they smirk as if on cue
>"We have had quite enough of this foolishness for one day. I suggest you retire until you've sobered up. Perhaps I shall overlook this. As you understand, stories... travel quickly around here. It would be an awful shame if your reputation were to fall any further into disrepute. Oh, Oswald! Would you show our guest his chamber?"

>>63963664
Battery virtually always contains an element of assault. Assault is making somebody anticipate battery. When you throw a punch, it's assault, when it lands, it's battery.

>>63961519
kek

>>63960704
Derpius maximus

>>63960592
Flying into a rage and jerking off to imagined brutal violence over a hypothetical scenario where a harmless homo twink slaps you with a glove isn't masculine, it's just pathetic.

>>63940079 (OP)
my peenus weenus

>>63962702
What kind of retarded job do you have?

>>63940079 (OP)
I choose a Sopwith Camel, if he can handprop it without killing himself, that will be enough of a feat. The next challenge will be taking off with a fuck huge rotary engine, then trying to maneuver the thing within range for guns.

>t. Volunteer at an air museum and have been taught how to handprop for when the air display happens.

>>63960704
>Duel but you both have to go away for a week and make your duelling weapons at a local scrapheap

KINO

>>63960468
this meme has always been stupid because it's almost always posted by anons who engage in thread-long reply chains instead of just saying "fuck off retard"
9 times out of 10 the guy on the right actually gets supremely butthurt at the fag on the left's antics

Sex

>>63940079 (OP)
>if these were ancient times you'd be my concubine you big hatted velvet gloved pussy

>>63964130
Anon, I know you really REALLY don't like this... but if you hit someone, even in such a seemingly minor way, you should always expect to be hit back. Even if you don't think it warrants getting decked you should expect it anyways.
In my case no, it's not "flying into a rage". It's reflex. I'm not going to beat him to death. What I am pretty likely to do is punch him in the face then start yelling things at him like "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?" "WHY DID YOU HIT ME YOU DUMB FUCK?" and "YOU EVER GOING TO WALK UP AND HIT RANDOM PEOPLE AGAIN?"

You're the one imagining that I'm going to turn him to paste on the spot for slapping me. Though if we carried out the duel with those macebells you bet your ass he's coming out a broken mess.

>>63964599
Independent contractor stuff. It's actually pretty great. Get paid per item moved so I move a lot of them. There's also objects that are around 15 pounds and others around 100ish. The 80 and 100 pound objects have moving parts that make them more of a pain in the ass. I usually work anywhere from 4-14 hours a day. Don't mind long hours at all because Grug like lift stuff. As much work as I want until I can't physically do more for whatever reason. Went from being a NEET to making ~$4k a month and loving life for once. Can finally afford to shoot more than a few times a year.

Now that I can actually afford it I'm enjoying protein, creatine, collagen supplements, and actual quality food on top of all the hard work. Btw, if your protein powder tastes like ass try making your shakes with core power elites instead of milk or water. 42 more grams of protein and it actually tastes pretty good.

>>63947446
>Being bigger doesn't make you slower
It literally does, it's always easier to accelerate less mass than more. Have you ever watched a flyweight boxing match side by side with an heavyweight one ? The difference is fucking stellar.

>>63964629
Samefag still malding a day later lmao

How do you strike smartly?

>>63965262
>everyone is arguing with me!
i wasn't implying you were one of the 9 but i guess if you're willing to make samefag accusations about this i was too optimistic

>>63940090
I bet youve taken 8+ BBC into your anus
lmao, faggot

>>63941927
I bet your BMI is higher than your IQ
>have a full beard
OH NO HOW SCARY

>>63965434
You know, just because you're a bitter fatass doesn't mean everyone else is too.

This thread is baiting out so many nigger tier responses like >>63940090
If you cannot fathom partaking in an honorable duel, you are not white

>>63965918
What a perfect moment to throw your life away, nothing more honorable.

>>63940728
You will not be invited back to the Boy's Train Club

>>63940079 (OP)
Longsword.
I'm not skilled in it, but I'm willing to bet neither is he and the suspect I'll wield the physical advantage.

Either that or some sort of pump shotgun so I can blast him while he tries to figure out the slide release.

>>63966225
>while he tries to figure
You check the weapons before the duel proper begins.

>>63966243
All I have to do is be faster.

>>63940079 (OP)
I have used a pitchfork my whole life and in a fight I will fuck anyone sideways with one.

>>63940079 (OP)
Shoot him in the face right then and there

>>63966252
But you said you had the physical advantage, meaning you're bigger, and thus slower. So he'd win.

>>63940079 (OP)
glock
50/50 chance his jams before getting a shot off.

>>63965287

A sharp, stinging pain.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/smarting

>>63968019
Smartingly?

I'm not joining your sect, CIA. Simple as. Between you and Catholics, shit and vomit, I chose latter.

>>63940079 (OP)

6 hickory staves

>>63940165
>pic
Damn, nice to see someone saved my snipped picture

>>63940079 (OP)
Lethal injection controlled by RS232
kills any silver spooned retard, vs any tech guy it's a tie

>>63940537
>Assuming dueling skills mean anything anymore.
They worked out a new meta for fencing. You don't stand and fight anymore, you just COD dolphin dive at your opponent with blade extended and nail them in the chest mid-air. Whoever has a 1" reach advantage invariably comes out on top.

>>63940079 (OP)
We shall duel as gentlemen, and the first to get pinned loses.