>>64130361
be me
civilian ship designer at [REDACTED] bureau in St. Petersburg
dream job after university — design sleek, deadly warships for the Motherland
think I’ll be working on something like 22350M or a nuclear battlecruiser successor
first day, boss says “comrade, we need concept for Project 23900 amphibious assault ship”
cool.jpg
3 months later, order changes to “stealth destroyer for Pacific Fleet”
half a year later, now it’s “modular frigate for Arctic patrol”
2020 arrives, I’ve designed 4 ships that exist only in slide presentations
every one has a different turret because some General’s cousin owns a machine shop
half the time I’m re-rendering the same hull but with slightly different lifeboats
MoD budget gets cut to fund more “special military operations”
now our projects are “future conceptual” aka never happening
becomes 80% making sexy CGI renders for Navy Day videos
ship always shown sailing in calm sea with dolphins
missiles launch in perfect sync like North Korean parade footage
real Kuznetsov still in dock belching black smoke
my "stealth destroyer" in game engine looks amazing
even gave it a railgun for fun because nobody will ever check
2022 — asked to make animation of our “new” ASW corvette
same hull from 2014 but now with drone pad on back
also the sonar dome looks like a pregnant beluga
mid-project, minister visits
points at my render: “Comrade, too many antennae, NATO will notice”
replace with more antennae but paint them grey
2024 — designing “Project 23XX Next-Gen Missile Cruiser” for 2045 launch date
no engines yet because Ukraine made the last ones
design still approved
my 3D models have more operational hours than our actual fleet
meanwhile, shipyard workers fixing 1970s hulls with parts from Lada scrapyards
coworkers just call our bureau “Russian Wargaming” now
sometimes hide anime girls in texture maps just to see if anyone notices
nobody ever does
starting to think my only real export will be wallpapers for MoD PowerPoints
