Thread 64223158

Discuss the best weapons and tactics for defending and hunting Kryptoids
Discuss your encounters with these beast, Kryptoid Hunting trips

>Chupacabra
Disgusting Latin American from Puerto Rico
They do not flush the public toilet at Burlington's or Ross
>Protecting yourself against telepathic grey aliens
Possible the most dangerous beings in the universe
Faraday Cage may work for this in hat form
>Identifying lizard people
They Hide Among us
Mostly in the form of elites
>Yetis Big foots and skunk apes
All Related
>Australian Yowie
He is Australian
>Jersey Devil
Known to harass and stalk
>Moth Man
Maybe in bed with Grey Aliens

The Brown Mountain Lights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkvoBwcbt1s

Tim Waltons first hand account
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsiKEBAFmm4

>Eventually the gravitational pull from Juptier will reverse earths magnetic poles
when it is flipped upside down.
This is all explained in the 1982 documentary: The Jupiter Menace
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeqnLzrXWgs

>>64223158 (OP)
Shut up schizo, kryptoids aren't real.
And even if they were, they probably wouldn't want to deal with you so leave them alone.

>>64223206
>Kryptoids are not real
Enjoy having your butthole turned inside out and skinned alive while on a camping trip anon

>>64223219
Nah, they're probably really friendly and chill; just misunderstood.
If they were real, that is.

I miss these threads, haven't seen a good one since 2016

>>64223206
These threads are a time honored tradition, have some fucking respect

>>64223232
Swamp ape fingers typed this >>64223206
Nuphag identified

>>64223158 (OP)
I have not watched the Jupiter menace since 1998 I can’t believe this is on YouTube

>>64223158 (OP)
The only experience I've had regarding kyrptoids was when I was in the desert once at night with the Soviet goggles, and seeing some deer-like figure transform into a bush, and I was utterly defenseless at that time so I kinda just drove away. This was before I had an IR light so I couldn't really tell on account of a new moon. Maybe if my derringer was loaded at the time I would have stood a chance if shit went down, but my boy just turned into a bush which was probably a sign of submission or something.

I've had plenty of MIB and paranormal shit happen to me though

>>64223539
>I've had plenty of MIB and paranormal shit happen to me though
Story time

>>64223917
I'll spill just an MIB one for now

>Be me
>late April of this year
>In corner store
>three people walk in
>black suits, dark glasses, suitcases, the usual
>They go about their business and buy candy and soda and shit
>they leave
>pay for some chips
>go outside
>all standing on the corner of the street facing my direction
>decide it would not be a good idea to walk back to my house since it is literally like 10 minutes from where I was standing
>decide to cross street and go down a way which would lead to my house but would have a good amount of turns
>they follow my ass through the route
>decide it's time to evade or some shit
>start walking (essentially running) to this hillside with a recycling plant
>go halfway to the recycling plant and retreat down into some bushes to hide in that were off the road
>wait
>no sign of them, I poke my head out and look with my pocket binos
>don't see them anywhere
>realize I wandered at least 2 miles from my house
>walk back
>don't see them on the way back
>mfw

I will note they looked pretty young so maybe some teenagers were fucking with me but I wasn't gonna risk it

>>64223158 (OP)
Remember: silver for the unholy, iron for the otherwordly, osmium for the extraterrestrial

>>64223965
Fun read, thank you. I've never seen those types of guys before

>>64223992
It is genuinely the scariest shit no matter how many times you've observed them following you.

>>64223158 (OP)
Threadly reminder that Coyote and Deer Woman are NOT skinwalkers. They are cosmological entities that were already ancient when the world was new. If you try mag-dumping them, it will not end well for you.

>>64224039
What do you do if you encounter one

>>64223965
I always wonder what follower would do if the followed just went in circles over and over.

>>64224055
They'd probably corner you because after the second lap they'd know they're being played

>>64224093
>dat image

>>64224045
They're both dangerous and not to be trusted, but you shouldn't act confrontational towards them either. Basically, treat them like you would a brown bear, if brown bears were primordial spirits.
Oh, and whatever you do, don't stick your dick in Deer Woman. She might seem really into you, but she's lying.

>>64223158 (OP)
>Faraday Cage may work for this in hat form
https://www.stopabductions.com/
>The Thought Screen Helmet stops space aliens from abducting humans.
>It's been used successfully by former abductees for 26 years.
>This public-service, non-profit assembly website tells you how to make a >Thought Screen Helmet.

>>64224167
And then what? You can yell, call someone on your phone, or do something obnoxious to draw attention.

>>64223232
>Nah, they're probably really friendly and chill; just misunderstood.
Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OmR0ypCyOU

>>64224264
could someone shop this so he's using his middle finger for pointing instead? maybe add a "the game" into the lining?

>>64223206
Can someone Microsoft paint this post into a meme
Ty

>>64224657
Dr cat

U/K/ here, or what passes for it
>be several years ago
>be July, hot
>be attempting STALKER challenge
>heading to site in local country park
>midnight on account of waiting till area was jannie and normal free
>old streetlight at the top of the field, always been there no idea why
>see in its light two deer sprinting along towards me
>moments later lead deer vaults the fence and lands less than an arms length ahead of me, turns and sitters off
>second deer-
>thataintnodeer.gif
>massive black dog the size of a red deer stag
>slinks into the shadows and starts snarling at me
>bayo is in me backpack, so try to make myself look as big as possible
>packed bag helps
>standoff lasts a couple of minutes then the thing leaves
>near shit a brick
>still nosey around site (it cad cameras, so none viable)
>camp a long way from planned location
I had been night walking through there a week prior and started getting really spooked which is unusual as I'm not scared of the dark. I think it must have been stalking me and I somehow picked up on it.

>>64223158 (OP)
/k/'s response to spirits? There are orbs, screams, unexplainable noises and a poltergeist that've been fucking with me on and off but I doubt bullets work and I don't want to put a bunch of holes in my walls and have the cops come out. How do you fight the unfightable?
>inb4 ghost puncher

>>64225302
See brown mountain lights

>>64223206
The giant squid was a cryptid. The platypus was a cryptid. The giant Sloth was once considered a cryptid.
Stop being a dumb dumb, retard.

>>64225859
I remember a tv show years ago disgusting these monsters.
Was it monster hunter ?
The squid was always debated until this century

>>64225859
>>64226032
Did either of you watch the Jaws ripoff "The Beast"? It was about a gigantic giant squid. Was obsessed with that movie when I was little, had it recorded from TV to VHS even

>>64226051
I have never watched it
But I will search for it on YouTube

>>64224007
Maybe if you stopped poking your nose where it doesn't belong you wouldn't be followed. Maybe if you were a normal, boring ass person that kept his head down and didn't keep talking about things that don't concern them we'd leave you alone.

>>64226095
>we'd leave you alone.
Nice confession

>>64225155
>I think it must have been stalking me and I somehow picked up on it.
Wolves and Dogs (well in this case a "dog") are sensible predators in that they usually don't pick fights unless they have to, which is why looking big and standing ground usually has them walk away. Normally they'll give ample warning they're around, but they also usually prefer being in groups so this obviously wasn't a normal encounter.
Thing probably wasn't stalking you specifically, but watching and staking out a new hunting ground. When it saw you a second time it was pissed because you fucked up it's hunt.

>>64223206
Not gonna fall for it, buddy.

>>64226228
Nah, I had the feeling from soon after I entered the park right down half a mile to the river and it kept getting more intense.
That's when I turned for a different exit, actually I followed the path I later encountered the dog on, and it faded as I crossed the carpal and reached the drive to the exit.

>>64227115
Absolutely based

>>64223158 (OP)
I’ll have an order of fries with my nothingburger please
>be me
>2024 post Helene in the South
>innawoods with Mosin and compadre also with boltgun
>lots of downed trees and washed out creeks
>took ~20min longer than normal to get to the trailhead. The area itself is down a dirt road. Maybe 3-4 turns after the initial turn off of the tarmac.
>taking different paths than normal to get out to game trails
>didn’t see much, stalked by areas we had seen deer before
>one spike we scared because we were yapping
>30min after sunset start making our way back
>by the time we make it back to the car it is mostly dark.
>unload kit, mount up, rifles in the back
fucker left my radio on and I had to get a new battery
>start driving down the road, windows down, nice night
>approach a bend, slow down a bit because there looked to be something fuzzy in the road
>stop just so the mass was to the front driver side of the car and dismount,
>”the fuck is that? A dead animal?”
>”looks like a pelt”
>”not too weird I guess it is hunting season”
>w8 a second buster
>turn on phones flashlight so I could see beyond the car’s headlights
>”are that the fucking bones? And more pelts?”
>there were 4+ deer pelts in lumps on the ground, like wet towels
>vertebrae, pelvic bones, ribs, some with stringy viscera between the intercostals still.
Forgot to mention that the road was basically a wadi, raised dirt on either side.
>look up, see and hear birds take off against the almost black sky
>hear crashing in the woods, sounds like a gym teacher who caught a kid smoking
>both get in without saying anything at first and immediately drive away
>both agree it’s Bigfoot

Still convinced it was a boar, but it may have been a bear too. It was hard to tell how high it was, I could hear the leaves and branches breaking/shuffling but the shape of the road made it hard to tell the height. I don’t go hunting there without a semi auto anymore. Pic rel.

>>64228629
Man, that sounds spoopy

Up

>>64225302
>How do you fight the unfightable?

You tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. By their custom-law, if they dont stop when told no, they can be targeted by positively aligned creatures. Gorloj, the Lord Buckbreaker, does not approve of such entities.

>>64225302
go to every corner of house and firmly but not rudely tell it/them to leave
if that doesn't work demand it leave in the name of Jesus, belief helps
it that fails start playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xERuXyDeVqc throughout the house constantly
if that doesn't work burn frankincense while demanding it leave in the name of Jesus
if that doesn't work, contact various "professionals", religious, medium whoever claims to remove these things and seems legit
if that doesn't work, burn that shit down
also, salt baths can help remove attachments
try not to be afraid

Is 45 ACP enough for /k/ryptids? Due to living with my parents still (18 and in college) I'm only allowed to own one gun, in my case a semi auto thompson.

>>64226051
Goddamn, haven't heard anyone mention that movie in years! Thought giant squids were neat ever since I saw the old 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea movie, used to visit a zoo that had a big model of one hanging up, made sure to see it every single time I was there.

>>64223158 (OP)
Ghost Zone Defense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1PQ6ReZJJE

>>64223158 (OP)
Southwestern wendigos, native to Arizona and some other areas - bullets (or arrows, traditionally) can be any material, but should be rolled in white ashes before being loaded into the firearm. The ashes need not stick to the bullet, so long as it was thoroughly rolled in them. Shot shells are not advised, even if you roll the shot pellets in ash, as you may simply be burning away any residual material. Slugs might be okay, but I'd just use a rifle.

>>64232997
Note - I'm not 100% sure but I think white ashes from any source are fine, since they're all thoroughly burnt anyway. It should have nothing to do with the White Ash tree because that tree is not native to the southwest.

>>64232248
Depends greatly on what you are dealing with.
We don't know much about most cryptids, some of them are able to be a solid corporeal mass one moment and non-corporeal the next.
The best advice is to not go looking for them.

>>64233018
Oh and, as for stories, I've (probably) never seen a wendigo or skinwalker, but I did have one strange thing happen. In 2021 I was doing some innawoods training shit at Camp Navajo, near Flagstaff AZ. Me and two others were opfor, setting up an ambush in a big ponderosa stand, when a gray wolf happened upon us. It was the middle of the day and the wolf was alone. If you've ever been hiking in Northern AZ you'll know that many wooded areas have tall ponderosa pines, but no underbrush at all (pic related, a couple miles from where this occurred), so all you can see is the trunks of trees in any direction. And a wolf staring you down through those tree trunks. Our rifles were loaded with blanks but we stared back and it circled around us after 20-30 minutes watching from afar. It kept a distance of maybe 100-200 yards.

What's unusual is that there is only one known gray wolf in all of Coconino national forest, and it only migrated there in 2021. We got stared down in broad daylight for half an hour by the only goddamn wolf in a massive forest? It was fucking weird and despite it circling around in the direction of the incoming patrol, none of them saw it (nor did anyone else on post after we reported the sighting)

>>64232248
No need for semiautomatic pistol, friend.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Shogun all you need.

>>64232248
Should be fine, I don't recall north america having any armored cryptids.
>>64233078
See >>64232997 shotguns are sometimes sub-optimal for cryptid shooting. Plus you need to consider that american cryptids are often very fast, and a pump shotgun might not cut it

>>64233088
I wouldn't worry about it.
Shogun fine. For hunting.
Cryptids not need military weapon.

>>64232935
interesting

>>64233266
clawed hands typed this post. I'll cut you a deal. You bend over and let me hit that wendigussy and I'll fill you with seed instead of 45 ACP.

>>64234356
Holy based

>>64228629
>>washed out creeks
>Forgot to mention that the road was basically a wadi, raised dirt on either side.
>>there were 4+ deer pelts in lumps on the ground, like wet towels
>>vertebrae, pelvic bones, ribs, some with stringy viscera between the intercostals still.
>>look up, see and hear birds take off against the almost black sky
>>hear crashing in the woods, sounds like a gym teacher who caught a kid smoking
The pelts and whatnot were washed downstream by the rain and the smell attracted a scavenger

>>64227115
Kek'd

>>64223206
True

>>64225859
>The giant squid was a cryptid. The platypus was a cryptid. The giant Sloth was once considered a cryptid.
And all of them were proven frauds.

>>64223158 (OP)
Really simple logic flow. If you're on the North American continent they will die to a .45-70. Simple as.

>>64232248
You're gonna die

>>64236781
>platypus
>Fraud
>the animal you can actually go and see in a zoo or in the wild, live
>Fraud
What did anon mean by this?

>>64236781
Anon fear this:

Dude, the GORILLA was once a cryptid. It was considered just a tall tale told by supersticious locals in Africa.

That's the thing about cryptids: There is not sufficient evidence for their existance, so they are not considered proven to exist. But they CAN be proven to exist. Just like the gorilla or the platypus, the right moment to start believing is somewhere around the time someone goes out there comes back and plops a dead specimen on a university dissection table. At that point scientists go like "well huh! I guess they exist after all." and go about re-writing the bestiaries.

Claims require evidence. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. But if such evidence is provided, nobody has any issues believing in them
.

>>64239462
Addition: You might have experienced an encounter with a creature that would be considered cryptid, and that might be perfectly enough evidence for YOU to start believing in them.

But you have to have some intellectual honesty: Accept that your personal eye witness account might not be enough for anyone else to start believing. You need more evidence.
Eye-witness accounts are considered the worst form of evidence, as humans are notoriously bad eye-witnesses. Also, some shaky, grainy recorded-on-a-cellphone footage might not be enough.

Again, a dead specimen on university dissection table is a pretty good standard.

A thermal drone solves all of these issues.
>oooooooh I'm a spooky monster ooooohhhh
>stupid rednecks can't see me at night I'm so stealthy
>meanwhile, glowing like a cia nigger, ten kommandos with viagra and lube are encircling

>>64234648
Distinctly possible, but there were still a good amount of leaves off to the side of the road, I would think they might have been washed away. My assumption was it was just a hunter drop site, or a predator cache. Either way I want thermals or NVGs.

I'm finally ready.

>>64232248
Depends on the cryptid. It's great for Ayy lmaos because it gets past their shields since it's subsonic. Folds those grey cocksuckers if you're angry enough to break out of their mental paralysis.

>>64239462
>>64239577
The problem is also that "cryptids" aren't entirely or always physical, or at least physically "here"

>>64241277
Negative, that ghost has a heat signature and I'm GOING to FUCK IT.

>>64240287
Based neck snapper

>>64240078
hold on a sec. I thought that was 223 at first.
>dat headstamp
That's .50 BMG, yes? What the actual fuck??? that's gotta be bigger than a 4-bore?

>>64241455
Based