Thread 64446378

I miss when soldiers used to dress up in flashy clothes

I'm straight but that man has a nice ass
Can you get someone to replace his head with an anime girl? Thanks.

DOUBLE CAKED UP LOMBARDY

>>64446378 (OP)
https://youtu.be/_Yg-FWCj9WY

he's got that Booker Dewitt ass

>>64446378 (OP)
How could you possibly be old enough to miss that?

return to tradition

>>64446378 (OP)
He participates in the French vice

>>64446378 (OP)
>>64446386
>This Lombard lookin' ZESTY, this Lombard lookin' MOIST, he's got sugar in his wine, he's light with a blade, he's a Ill bit fruity, he plays for the other Condottiero, he fights at the other end of Genoa, this Lombard theatrical, this Lombard good with colors, this Lombard gonna coordinate yo arse wit you halberd and that shit gonna look good! This Lombard lifts cannonballs, this Lombard on the second level of hell, this Lombard be a Venetian trader, this Lombard fights uphill, this Lombard packs gunpowder, he's a friend of Machiavelli, he feels the love that dare not speak Its name, he loves to dance, he's of the Ottoman brotherhood, he indulges in the Greek vice, he has an monetary sexual Instinct, he's fluent in Barbary, he's a refugee from Moscow, he's on the wrong vessel, he fights for the other Duke, he's temperamental, he's 'one of if you catch my drift.

>>64446543
kek

>>64446500
honestly not a bad idea for kevlar

>>64446543
repent, sinner

>>64446799
It's acktshually UHMWPE and $298. I have one, it's nice.
https://jinwudun.com/products/nij-iiia-tactical-bulletproof-skirt-nylon-fabric-equipped-with-laser-cut-molle-system-pe-material

>>64446543
topkek

>>64446543
Jej

>>64446543
I understand now why God gave the Romans over to the Lombards.

>>64446378 (OP)
RETVRN TO TRADITION

>>64446543
jej

>>64447651
>Henry VIII
>skirt
That's not a skirt, it's a belted tunic.

>>64446500
>aliexpress

>>64446378 (OP)
Damn that's some prime Lombooty!

>>64446378 (OP)
A true warrior's garment

>>64446476
I would join for the armour alone.

>>64446543
>he's a refugee from Moscow

>>64447651
looks female enough, would

>>64446543
Good stuff

>>64448690
Its often a case the gayer they look the deadlier they are with a sword.

>>64448690
The woke mind virus keeps turning our fops into dandies!

>>64448690
Based Brummel

>>64448690
Blessed image

>>64447651
Pink hair is ahistorical

>>64446543
+

>>64448753
gotta be to not get your ass kicked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z1Ple-qYuU

>>64446543
Queer way of saying it

>>64448690
We need to RETVRN to FABVLOVSNESS

>>64448812
>>64448871
Media literacy is dead.
>>64449055
True
https://youtu.be/y7lhMAOxLxw

>>64449218
Rare to find people these days who remember that film.

>>64448690
fucking great

>>64448882
They wore pink hair powder on their wigs, which is what this image is trying to convey, I believe.

>>64448690
Those calves though!

>>64446378 (OP)
I wear compression shorts at the gym and it's a dangerous game of whether or not gym sluts or gays will hit on me. I've got a couple wheyfu hookups out of it so well worth it. They're also extremely comfy.

Was Flanders helmet closer to a sallet or a stahlhelm?

>>64447651
>>64448690
Cast 'ye off the chains of breeches and retvrn to the unbreeched gaiety of your youthful years!

>>64446378 (OP)
Yeah

>>64448690
i was bored

>>64450108
>überbased drawfag
9/10
Very good.
Should add something about the dandy slowly dying from tuberculosis (beta cuckold disease) while the Chad Fop is slowly dying from syphilis (Alpha-male disease contracted through wide reaching sexual conquest).

>>64450155
>>drawfag
Disregard that, I just realized I'm retarded and you didn't draw that.
Still, cool nevertheless.

>>64450164
it was a 5 min edit on paint lmao. thanks tho.

>>64448882
Pink was a masculine color. They stole it from us last century.

>>64446543
lel

>>64448284
$298 direct from the Haus of Jinwudun

>>64450108
Didn't one of the most successful French generals in history dress essentially like the fop?
>>64450225
This is true. Pink was associated with boys and blue was for girls.

>>64450602
I assume you're referring to the Grand Conde.

>>64447651
That's barely even recognizable as Astolfo.

>>64450831
That's the one. Hell if you look at who he fought it pretty much is the chad fop thrashing the virgin dandy.

>>64446543
Now this is a /k/ post.

>>64448299
Combat cake

>>64446543
based an sopranos pilled

>>64448690
should've been done the other way round with him picking up a zweihander
landsknechtification

>>64452094
Combat prowess is stored in the ass

>>64452156
Why? On the timeline the Landsknechte came before the late 16th/early 17th century fashion that is caricatured in this picture on the left.

>>64453833
Based.

>>64452646
I don’t like that Katzbalger’s lack a point, what if a Landsknecht has to shank a nigga instead of chopping him?

>>64446543
Bucciatti Breaking

>>64450831
When you're so skilled that even Bonaparte puts you in the top five greatest, you could wear a damn fursuit to battle and still be credible.

>>64454348
Turns out you can do almost anything you want if you're the man who permanently breaks the back of Habsburgs and secures continental ascendancy for France. Hell, you can even rebel against the King before betraying him to those same Habsburgs and you can get out of it with a minor apology to not do that again.

>>64454428
The king was in the wrong and he knew it. Conde had been nothing but loyal, indispensible, and yet he was jailed on "suspicions." Yeah, I'd lead a revolt after that kind of treatment. Louis understood that he done fucked up.

>>64448690
Weird how increased production/access to fine goods made nobles LESS extravagent, but then I suppose that when even the lower classes can increasingly afford nicer things, you have to change your displays of wealth. Unfortunately, nowadays the upper crust do so by embracing every kind of faggotry possible.

>>64446543
I love you (no homo)

>>64452156
Need landsknecht himbo

>>64454542
It was just a prank

>>64454554
Conspicuous consumption via clothing has always and remains a thing. You're just too common to understand or afford it.

>>64446543
I love you (yes homo)

>>64446382
no, but yes.

>>64455321
It's not conspicuous if the plebs can't even tell the difference

>>64446407
The sodom below

>>64446543
>I saw the face of God and it was weeping

>>64454554
Brummel concept of elegance was based precisely in the idea that extravagance and excess should be discouraged and instead we should strive for a more "democratised" idea of elegance where regardless of status and upbringing you could be dignified and proper as long as you followed a few rules. Thay's why in the xix and xx century even poorfucks farmers did not stand out next to rich industrals as long as they kept a suit and tie ready to go
If you want fop times back look no further than the met gala. Now tell me whether those celebrities are cool or we rather need another revolution and to sharpen the guillotine

straightest thread on /k/ rn

>>64456270
It ain't /k/ if it's not gay!

>>64456191
>>64454554
There's nothing about democratization or industrialization to it. It's got a lot to do with protestantism and over-the-top moralizing, self-flagellating attitudes that arose with protestantism.

>>64449285
I used to wear tight velvet pants at music festivals and raves, you would be surprise by how well that worked.

>>64456191
I would rather be able to spot a rich fuck a mile away than pretend that we're somehow the same. Also the new captcha sucks donkey dick.

>>64448753
I was a goth boy in the 90's, had the big hair, wore the makeup, leather, mesh, PVC and cowboy hats, big old steel tipped boots. Most people back then didn't give too much of a shit about weird goths as we'd more or less become part of the environment. It did mean you got good at fighting because there's always someone who'd start some shit in pubs, clubs and just drunkenly staggering around the place to the next watering hole or rave with your mates and girls that dressed like Victorian era harlots
>got bullied in school for being a skinny dork kid
>at 10, dad sends me to boxing classes
>get really good at beating people into a pulp
I don't miss the nihilism and crippling depression, but I really did enjoy bashing people and knocking people out. Gets the old endorphin's and adrenaline joggin in the noggin

>>64456191
Nah, their style is gay but it's on par with the XVI- XVIII century styles in terms of extravaganza. They would be cool if they were the warrior elite we had during that period and not glorified jesters that should be at the fringd of society and not at its center.

>>64454224
They take out their daggers.

>>64446378 (OP)

I don't.

If I'm about to dispatch on an operation I need to know my team is frosty as fuck.

Nothing's random; leave nothing to chance. We dress for the occasion because it maximizes our chances of a successful mission. Some missions may require us to adorn tactical stealth, others may prioritize mobility in which case camo paint and a simple kevlar vest is enough.

But I can assure you "bright and colorful circus outfit" is never the correct choice.

>>64448690Finally someone who recognizes that the Aristo-to-Gentry Pipeline is every bit as dangerous as the Condottieri-to-Landsknecht Pipeline

>>64455427
you are a pedophile and should repent

>>64454063
That skirted abomination only exists because the King of France specifically instituted a last minute change of rules for the tourney at the Field of the Cloth of Gold because he feared his displays of France's greater wealth and power would be overshadowed by the display of Henry VIII's dumptruck ass.

>>64446543
holy kek

>>64457002
What a silly puppy

>>64457002
>mfw eating da bussy

>>64457002
You'll love this then

>>64457020
Henry was The Archtiect's first project.

>>64456940
>Condottieri-to-Landsknecht Pipeline
No such thing.

>>64447651
Damn. Why was Western civilization so gay during the medieval and Renaissance period?

>>64456992
>Every square inch of your body including the insides of your joints (apart from a narrow gap directly underneath the armpit) is protected by plate and not chainmail
>Yes, "every square inch" includes your taint
>Has cowters and poleyns to offer additional protection to the inside of your elbows and the back of your knees.
>Helmet has a reinforcing comb to protect against blows to the top of the skull
>Can mount an additional layer of plate on top of the left pauldron for tournaments.
>Each piece of armor is attached to the adjoining sections by pins, hooks, latches, and flanges so your opponent can't easily remove them to perform a coup de grace.
>Right gauntlet even locks around your weapon so you can't accidentally drop it during a melee.
>Arguably the only flaw is the extra large ventilations holes in the visor, but that wasn't relevant in a highly-regulated foot tournament where arrows and splintering lances weren't issues, and besides, if you could afford to buy this thing you could definitely go and order a second helmet for use in war.
>Shows off the ass, bulge, and those sexy, sexy calves (which Henry VIII thought were his best feature)
>Even has a little something for the foot fetishists.
11/10. Best suit of armor ever devised by man.

>>64446543
Put me in the screencap.

>>64456191
>where regardless of status and upbringing you could be dignified and proper as long as you followed a few rules
And by sheer coincidence, those rules were obtuse enough that you could tell plebs and nouveau-riche from Old Money at a glance.

>>64456191
>Thay's why in the xix and xx century even poorfucks farmers did not stand out next to rich industrals as long as they kept a suit and tie ready to go

>>64457314
Ye Olde Guccifags

>>64456191
The style on the right was called a stroller because during the Edwardian era it's what a man of means would wear going for a casual walk down a city street or in a public park. Even a morning suit (left) was considered semi-formal at best and someone like an ambassador would wear a frock coat to work everyday. It was called a morning dress because despite consisting of a tailcoat and silk top hat it was day wear only. You'd wear white tie to dinner, even in your own home and even if was just your immediate family and not with guests.
The dinner jacket (aka the tuxedo) didn't become acceptable to wear in mixed-company until well into the 20th-century. Before that, black tie was what you'd wear when you were having drinks with the boys or at the type of social event that men took their side pieces to and not their wives (i.e. in the presence of *women*, but not *ladies*).
The comparative egalitarianism that is the business suit is a *very* modern development

>>64456940
I like the Gyaru Landsknecht

>>64446543
A work of art this is.

>>64446543
bravo, bravo

>>64446378 (OP)
You were not alive for it, I was. I remember the troops leaving the field at lutzen passing my home when I was a child and the drunk soldiers fighting each other the next night on the road. I a, 403 years old and I can say that here because you will not believe me. The regular soldiers back then were the lowest of the low, murderers, rapists, looters, savages kept in line by total brutality and corporal punishment like amputation and facial branding, they murdered entire villages for drunken sport. For everyone alive then war was like a disease or plague of rats or flooding an uncontrollable natural event that destroyed everything. Such men murdered my father.

>>64446543
This post is a skill check of your knowledge on homos in history I kneel

>>64446543
Fun fact it used be called the turk mount (homosexuality)

>>64446543
kek

>>64456381
>I was a goth boy in the 90's ... t did mean you got good at fighting because there's always someone who'd start some shit
I was listening to some interviews of Cevin Key and Bill Leeb who were in Skinny Puppy together in Vancouver in the 1980s and they'd be like yeah walking down the street dressed like we did was a life-threatening experience, people would definitely want to kick your ass for looking like that.

>>64448753
>Its often a case the gayer they look the deadlier they are with a sword.
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance -- Confucius

>>64454554
>Weird how increased production/access to fine goods made nobles LESS extravagent, but then I suppose that when even the lower classes can increasingly afford nicer things, you have to change your displays of wealth.
Yeah. But what's another interesting thing is that after the upper classes started dressing in a more sober and demure way, you'd get working-class subculture re-appropriating Edwardian-style clothing like the "Teddy Boys" in England. Or goth chicks dressing up in Victorian dresses. It's a bit like A Clockwork Orange:
https://youtu.be/LKmCIJ2l8qc

>>64458428
Won't ever hear me complain.

>>64446422
I miss hunter-gatherer life.
Agriculture was clearly a mistake and has only made human existence unnatural.

>>64458368
oh so that's why many in here found it so funny, it's right in their area of expertise?

>>64456381
>>64458428
Used to have a friend who was into goth culture, 6ft 6, and best described as the Kurgan. It was always funny whenever someone would try to start shit only to turn round, see him and immediately reconsider their life choices. Did get barred from a few bars though that was for mainly setting myself on fire.

>>64448690
First and third iterations should have their hair colour swapped desu

>>64457958
>yfw you realize the real image isn't actually as funny.

>>64446543
Jarvis, put this in the "funnies" folder

>>64446543
kek

>>64446378 (OP)
for me it's these types of extravagant helmets. does anyone know if there is a specific name for them?

>>64458428
>>64458523
The 80s did seem to be a lot 'meaner' for people in their little tribes, like you'd get people crossing the road to specifically give you a kicking for looking like you did and more than a few of the old goths I knew tended to be packing at least a knife or something nastier. By the 90's though it was a bit more chill between various cliques, so we'd be fine dancing or going to the same places with the skins, punks, ravers, rivet heads and alt-lifestyle folks. If anything a pub, club or bar packed with weirdos was generally miles safer than any other.

>>64460005
I believe its called an 'Orle' which can be as simple as two-coloured cloth twisted in a right to all the horns, wings, waifus and animals hanging off as decoration

>>64452389
Truer words were never spoken

>>64460480
>Orle
thanks anon

>>64460556
The 4th reich's strongest warrior

>>64459187
Honestly, it's still pretty funny

>>64449285
Bizarre that this is still an alien concept to most men given how vocal women are about enjoying a man with a well developed ass

>>64452389
yes

>>64459571
what the fuck are this

>>64462999
the true iron maiden

>>64462338
Is that a .410?

>>64463393
nah just some kind of simunition, they do make it in plastic sometimes

>>64460005
I've seen them called "tourney helmets" since despite what Sergei Eisenstein would try to tell you, history isn't based enough for them to have been worn into actual battle.

And since I like old movies, I'm going to link the scene, and none of you can do anything about it.
https://youtu.be/CtszkfXrmhc?si=Cw_Z-D6_ir8tH0s4

>not going out to battle dripped out in iridescent warsuits with giant plumed banners

Are there any other historical soldiers that can out /fa/ the Aztec and Landsknecht

>>64446543
Exquisite!

>>64466966
Outdo I'm not sure but
>Kabukimono would often dress in flamboyant clothing, disregarding traditional colours such as light yellow and dark blue, often accessorised by wearing haori jackets with lead weights in the hem, velvet lapels, wide obi belts and even women's clothes. Exoticism was characteristic and included items such as European clothing, Chinese hats, jinbaori vests made from Persian rugs.
>Kabukimono also often had uncommon hairstyles and facial hair, either styled up in various fashions, or left to grow long. Their katana would often have fancy hilts, large or square tsuba, red scabbards and were usually longer than normal length. Some kabukimono even used extremely long kiseru pipes as weapons.
I'd say they're at least a runner up

>>64463412
Like those German DAG rounds?

>>64460792
The framed picture on the wall adds so much more to this.

>>64462255
It's a scientific fact that women like a man with a round muscular butt.

>>64450831
>>64454348
>>64454428
>>64454542
His friendship-rivalry with Turenne was kino. Polar opposites. Turenne was a careful maneuverer, cool-blooded and reliable, Condé while a wild genius with a quick instinct and judgement. Both fought fought a civil war together (both at one point fighting for the king and against the King), as well as in foreign wars, and nearly destroyed the Netherlands together.
>Sometimes allies, sometimes opponents, but generally, though not always, personal friends.

After tough urban fighting during the Fronde
>'Did you see the Prince of Condé?' was afterwards asked of Turenne. 'I did not see one Prince of Condé' replied he, 'I saw more than a dozen!'

Same battle, an account of Condé:
>"He was in a deplorable state: his face covered with dust, his hair dishevelled, his neck and shirt stained with blood. Although not wounded, his cuirass bore the marks of blows; and he carried his naked sword in his hand, for he had lost his scabbard. He gave it to my equerry, and said: 'Ah, Mademoiselle, I am in despair: I have lost all my friends.' He was much cast down: for he wept bitterly, as he exclaimed: 'You must excuse the grief in which you see me.' It had been said that he cared for nobody; but I had always found him attached to his friends, and kind to those he loved."

>>64448690
The "Great Male Renunciation" and its consequences have been a disaster for the race of man.

>>64456940
>>64457916
Cent is coal. Stop posting this Filipino

>>64468992
>urban fighting during the Fronde
>The Fronde was a series of civil wars in the Kingdom of France between 1648 and 1653
How does 17th century urban fighting work?

>>64469053
It took place just outside of the bastille, in Paris. Compared to the usual field and fort battles, this might as well be urban combat.

>>64469002
No

>>64467810
>Kabukimono
>look it up on google images
>anime
This is as bad as the time that a Saber clone came up when looking up Nero Claudius.

>>64469684
Fate is a fucking cancer

Dress armor, bring it back. Formal wear armor.

>>64469706
I wonder how you could do that with modern armor without being ridiculous and tacky

>>64447651
>>64448690
>>64456940
If only AGA/MPB was not a thing, if only.......
CRISPR save us all....

>>64457020
>RAMMING SPEED, CHARGE!!!

>>64454224
The tip was still sharpened, getting poked instead of hacked would be like taking an axe to the chest.

>>64446543
jej

>>64469053
Swords, pikes, bayonets.

>>64449218
Never heard of this movie, is it as good as Barry Lyndon?

>>64453938
>>64453833
ARC troopers and Morrowind implanted the idea of skirts with armor in me.
You really don't see it enough

>>64472035
NTA but no and if were to be make an analogy its a slightly more historical accurate Braveheart type film.

>>64446543
put me in the screen cap

>>64472765
Screencap? I hope an anon AI's this into a song!

>>64457020
oh lawd he coming

>>64471730
Name?

>>64446543
Niggas from Bergamo are actually like this.

My question doesn't deserve it's own thread so i'll just ask it here. early mail didn't go below the elbow or down the legs until much later. Why not? why wouldn't they just cower themselfs right away like the picture to the right?

>>64473457
they hadn't invented the concept of hitting the legs yet

>>64473457
Movement is as important to not getting hit in the first place. It'd be like putting lead weights on your ankles.

At the very least, there's no reason every navy man the world over shouldn't still be well-dressed in blue, it's purely for the love of tackiness.

>>64473823
Striking the legs was definitely *the* move in the age of circular shields. A king or Norway had a blade called "legbiter."

>>64473823
Striking the legs was definitely *the* move in the age of circular shields. A king of Norway had a blade called "legbiter."

>>64473860
ok, so why did they start covering their legs later?

>>64473971
Field battles became more than a few hundred dudes raiding people who are even less armored than they are.

>>64474072
That makes sense

>>64446378 (OP)
Just for information, back in the medieval, colour died clothes were expensive and it was heavily regulated what you could wear and what not. For example in medieval Switzerland, pants in the colour of you canton was a gift from the government to heroic soldiers, it was like a medal you could wear, and had the same function like gang colours today, 100% do not fuck with status, because the entire canton will come down on you if you do.
A insanely expensive strich feather was sign of command, like the guy with the feather, thats the general.
Decades later when the Landskencht would copy the Swiss they would all run around in fancy trousers and feather hats, like today African militias do wear fantasy general uniforms.

>>64467810
>>64466966
>>64469684
Incidentally I feel like there's a lot of superficial similarity between (actual, not pop culture bullshit) Aztec aesthetics and Japanese ones in some ways, same for to the Minoans.

The dress of elite women is the most obvious comparison there, see pic

>>64474232
This is also pretty similar to the deal with the Aztec, or at least the Mexica in Tenochtitlan, who allegedly had strict sumptuary laws and low class mobility, with military service being one of the few potential avenues for social advancement via gifts of luxury/status items and the right to wear/display them through feats in war.

>>64449612
10/10 would (all 3 of them)

>>64473267
Stylist38. Apparently there was more but someone was too mean to him for having such hair as a guy so he deleted his stuff.

>>64474691
>someone was too mean to him for having such hair as a guy so he deleted his stuff.

>>64470731
Good luck. You could maybe put together a plate carrier that matches the marine dress uniform (blue with red piping) but it'd probably still look dumb. Those guys probably have enough trouble with heat during dress events.

>>64474963
kevlar boat cloaks, for jumping on grenades

>>64456955
I never understood the pedo accusation, post pubescant boys have prettier faces and bigger butts, and fat dicks too sometimes!

>>64452389
this is true, ive always had fat thighs and ass from doing a lot of physical work/cycling/body weight exercises in my teens and when I got conscripted when i was 19 half the boys in my squad couldnt keep their hands off my ass

>>64457105
Because boys are hot

>>64473860
I have a heavy ankle monitor on and its easy as hell to run, ive been running for weeks!

>>64474232
>colour died clothes were expensive and it was heavily regulated what you could wear and what not
This is an outright lie.

>>64475307
It's a grossly exaggerated description of sumptuary laws. Sumptuary laws regulationg what colors and clothing items certain people were allowed to wear did exist in different places at different times, however these laws usually only covered relatively limited categories of items and colors and it differed by country and region. In the end sumptuary laws were a relatively brief phenomenon in western europe because the laws were hugely unpopular and hard to enforce and were often circumvented by creative means of dress

>>64475331
>>64475307
Maybe it's inaccurate for Europe, but they were allegedly really that pervasive and strict in Tenochtitlan re: >>64474548

>>64446543
ebin

>>64450108
Very nice

>>64475307
At the Imperial Diet of Augsburg of 1503 Emperor Maximilian I. granted the Landsknechte the right to dress freely as they desired.

>>64459187
Isn't it just a different photo of the same event, taken moments before or after the other one?