>>40035751 (OP)my attraction (if it can even be called that) to women is mostly an artifact from when I repressed both being androphilic and trans.
I was meta-attracted AAP so it's also very fetishistic. I used to not really care about the woman, as long as I could pretend that I'm the big strong man in the relationship.
Nowadays when I see a woman I find beautiful, I go deeper on that thought. I imagine her underwhelming female body, I imagine having PIV sex with her, I imagine having to choose restaurants, I imagine having to be the proactive force when it comes to dating, I imagine becoming a father and starting a family as a man.
I hate all of these things, so at this point I usually notice my attraction for what it really is: pure jealousy.