Dysphoric about using the bathroom
I swear this isn't a joke I get so fucking dysphoric any time I have to use the bathroom. Going pee is awful because it's just a reminder I have this gross dangling meat tube where my vagina should be and I hate the feeling of the pee coming out. I sit down to pee like a woman should but I still can feel it dangling down there and I hate it so much it makes my skin crawl. But even worse is when I have to poop because I feel like I have very masculine poops. I have been in the woman's bathroom before when I absolutely can't hold it any more (I can't use the men's bathroom because men scare me too much even though I know I should be using it because I still have a penis) and a few times I heard other women pooping and it didn't sound like mine and the smell was different. Is this something HRT can help or maybe it's something in my diet? Please don't make fun of me this is really genuinely distressing to me I sometimes hold my poop in for days because I dread knowing I'm going to do something so ugly and gross and manly and it makes me want to rip my skin off.
