How am I supposed to start dating as a mid 20's virgin with absolutely no dating experience? I was ugly and a weird autist growing up and even my own friends often hated me and would turn on me for seemingly no reason. Finding people irl is hard and everyone knows dating apps are shit. I feel stunted since so many people my age have already had these experiences or are in happy long term relationships. I wish I could volcel but I've started getting very lonely and can't cope anymore by pretending to be schizoid.

>>40065134 (OP)
You don't have to.
If you want to, then stop talking about everything you don't have or didn't do. That's gone now. Work with what you do have and build on it. People don't expect you to be perfect or gorgeous or an exceptional intellect, or wealthy. You just need to be honest and supportive. You're not selling them a car, if they find out you're rusty 3 years in it'll still be your problem, so it pays to be honest, not self deprecating, just honest, self awareness is vital to maintaining relationships. It also pays to be confident, you deserve to have boundaries and enforce them, people will respect you for it since it makes you more reliable. And be funny. It's a lot easier to imagine spending their life together with you if you're fun to be around. Also wash yourself and wear clean clothes, though that shouldn't need reminding.

>>40065134 (OP)
You will have this anxiety until you start dating and realize that most of these people are also weird as fuck.
Once you go out with some truly horrifying freaks that are too much even for you you'll realize that you are actually completely fine.

>>40065134 (OP)
Just don't settle for being the sexual object of someone who doesn't want a real relationship. If you do that long enough it makes you feel even more worthless, and then afterwards you'll struggle to get back into dating because you'll feel like it's genuinely impossible to find love.

>>40065289
>be funny
this is not real advice
a person can't forcibly become "funny" in a good way
>It also pays to be confident
same thing
if you're not confident you'd probably benefit from becoming confident in general, but that's difficult and also shouldn't be a piece of advice in the context of finding a relationship because it doesn't work like that. if you have to be "confident" for a person to become interested in you then they're probably shallow and it will not work out anyways

>>40065538
>can't forcibly become "funny"
that is literally what most comedians do.
>can't be confident
sincerely a skill issue
>if you have to be "confident" for a person to become interested in you then they're probably shallow
if you have no faith in yourself you will attract no one and if all you have to offer is excuses that won't change. With your mentality you can be confident in saying nobody will ever want you, and you can't offer even good company in lieu of anything else of value.
I don't even understand your thinking, even if by some luck you did find the love of your life in that state, would you be okay making them feel worse just for being around you? They'll just drag along a downer that is an objective net negative to them? Love isn't transactional but that's all the more reason you shouldn't be a drain on them, they're the only people that won't take advantage of the value you give them, to be purely parasitic to them is more detestable than the most bitter incel. The only way I can see you defending your stance on this is by ignorance or malice. But then you haven't given a stance. You just resent any suggestion that might take effort from you, so I reiterate, nobody wants to pair bond with an adult sized child.

>>40065134 (OP)
Species within an order != two sexes in a single dimorphic species nigger

>>40065614
>most comedians do
comedians put on an act, they don't necessarily have "funny" personalities. trying to fake being "funny" for a person is unattarctive
>>can't be confident
>sincerely a skill issue
irrelevant
>if you have no faith in yourself you will attract no one and if all you have to offer is excuses that won't change
factually wrong, you can go look anywhere, for example on reddit. tons on tons of posts asking how people can help their partners become more confident/start liking themselves more
>and you can't offer even good company in lieu of anything else of value
one can certainly offer good company without necessarily having high self-confidence. that you say this only indicates that you wouldn't associate with someone who has low self-esteem, or something, not the case for all people
>You just resent any suggestion that might take effort from you
"be funny" is just a bad suggestion on all fronts, nobody likes when people fake things like that and at best a person wouldn't think worse of you for trying to fake being funny when it's not your personality
"become confident" is less bad but
1) is not required to find a relationship, which you lie about and say that it is
2) can be discouraging if anything, because not everyone would make the effort if they already have extremely low self-esteem

unless you want to deny that it is possible for someone to not be a net negative for another person, only on the basis that they have low self-esteem...you do not have a point, then
clearly you despise not self-confident people or something but not everyone does so your advice is bad

>>40065650
I didn't make the image retard

>>40065792
Then why are you posting it though aye?

>>40065650
the meme is that common phenotypes are not more real than rare ones which arise under unusual circumstances, brainlet chan

>>40065782
>comedians put on an act, they don't necessarily have "funny" personalities. trying to fake being "funny" for a person is unattarctive
being funny is a skill, not a personality. it's conceptually impossible to fake it, you can only succeed at it (make people laugh) or fail at it (don't make people laugh).

>>40066382
i think trying to be funny on purpose _for the purpose of it improving your chances at a relationship_ is like... coming off fake even if you want to look at it in this way where it can't be fake
it looks fake, as a thing to do intentionally for this purpose, if it's your natural tendency then sure but like why would one who does not have that tendency try to be funny on purpose like who does that and where have you seen that ever succeeding

>>40066382
"be funny" is the kind of advice they give to have more success on dating apps and the like, when obviously be yourself is the true real advice all along because you don't want to attract a person by who you are not and you want to not have to be pretending to be someone else if you want an actual genuine relationship

bump

>>40065134 (OP)
>How am I supposed to start dating as a mid 20's virgin with absolutely no dating experience?
That's the fun part. You don't.