Thread 40073832 - /lgbt/ [Archived: 978 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:11:06 AM No.40073832
85121450142b8d0b2bfb2423c9016a12
85121450142b8d0b2bfb2423c9016a12
md5: 5c8117dbd257fe1e07e7fd317263b579๐Ÿ”
is it even worth trying to date as a quiet bpdemon or is it over
Replies: >>40073853 >>40073897 >>40073918 >>40073925 >>40073927 >>40073965 >>40074504 >>40074618 >>40074892 >>40074898 >>40075121 >>40075278 >>40076419
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:14:32 AM No.40073853
>>40073832 (OP)
I think you can dbt ur way into being OK right
Replies: >>40074262
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:20:58 AM No.40073897
>>40073832 (OP)
If you have quiet BPD don't you just have bad thoughts but donโ€˜t act on them?
Replies: >>40074057
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:24:38 AM No.40073918
__ame_chan_needy_girl_overdose_drawn_by_uxvqx__sample-a12aa90b07e11f94e9769120ee949eef
>>40073832 (OP)
the world is your oyster anon
Pico
6/16/2025, 8:25:51 AM No.40073925
>>40073832 (OP)
pick a mentally ill man/woman and either youll fix each other or one of you dies
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:26:04 AM No.40073927
Types-of-Personality-Disorders
Types-of-Personality-Disorders
md5: 3f4b078da9b6d78ca6d88f06759f1a05๐Ÿ”
>>40073832 (OP)
BPD (and Cluster B personality disorders in general) make the WORST dating partners and it's not even close. They will ruin your lives. It's not your fault you're this way, but people with Cluster B personality disorders should date amongst themselves and leave the rest of us alone.
>tl;dr, yes it's over
Replies: >>40073961 >>40074070 >>40074634 >>40074867 >>40074898 >>40075121
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:28:31 AM No.40073945
basil_depressed
basil_depressed
md5: 1cd4b0f9585f0b1bc175bbc9281f30d8๐Ÿ”
I hate this I feel nothing compeltely empty bored so bored WAY too much of the time I miss having strong emotions and feeling intensely and mood swings I hate being here
Replies: >>40074578
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:30:38 AM No.40073956
crying
crying
md5: ced64d7008245a7ad92fc5e647a2f6c8๐Ÿ”
this is how the typical bpdemon relationship turns out
Replies: >>40074578
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:31:11 AM No.40073961
>>40073927
Anon just needs to find someone who can handle the fire. My boyfriend can handle it, but a lot of my previous partners were soft and fell apart.
Replies: >>40073996 >>40074016
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 8:31:57 AM No.40073965
>>40073832 (OP)
its worth it

>t. bpd4bpd t4t happily married
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:35:56 AM No.40073996
>>40073961
how does he handle it
what kind of guy do you look for
Replies: >>40074027
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:38:32 AM No.40074016
>>40073961
>abuser language
yikes
Replies: >>40074037
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:39:59 AM No.40074027
>>40073996
Unfortunately, as much as I wish I could be with 24/7, he works. So half of it is me managing real expectations of a partner while the other half is my partner understanding any time I freak out it isn't personal. If I'm upset use "I" statements instead of attacking them.
Replies: >>40074040
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:41:33 AM No.40074037
>>40074016
Waow I wish I could date myself...
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:42:08 AM No.40074040
>>40074027
is he strong
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:44:54 AM No.40074057
>>40073897
Quiet BPD just means you have a strong instinct to internalize your emotions and won't openly outburst infront of others, this doesn't mean it won't affect your behavior or is at all milder/less serious than other expressions of bpd, and bpd is by no means a schizo intrusive thought murder disorder, it's defining trait is a lack of self anyways
Replies: >>40074159 >>40074175 >>40074337
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 8:47:58 AM No.40074070
>>40073927
please leave
Replies: >>40074314
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:00:53 AM No.40074159
>>40074057
So quiet BPD you would just be avoidant instead of angry?
Replies: >>40074262
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:04:27 AM No.40074175
stream_ame_yanda_carisma_010
stream_ame_yanda_carisma_010
md5: 83482d75b1312227507f8b5e91473c3f๐Ÿ”
>>40074057
how do i have outbursts in front of people
Replies: >>40074262
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:17:40 AM No.40074262
9a018e48292b73c7f6a810943f68e183
9a018e48292b73c7f6a810943f68e183
md5: 00ff08cf02f22b7ebc8aad3d49f391c3๐Ÿ”
>>40073853
not rlly, i've had countless therapists and i hated them all so sos osso so much, none of it does anything, its all so much work too it always just made me feel way worse and hopeless, i've never had such soulsucking sessions ever, didnt do shit for my anxiety too either tb h just made me have panic attacks from the stress

>>40074159
nta but i guess so, its a really complex topic and youd still be angry but would be much less likely to express it yea, and if so itd be done in a way thats intentionally done so its hard to tell ur angry, rlly any amount of insane risky stuff can be done aslong as ppl dont notice

a lot of it is.,.. very nonconsensually hardwired, a lot of things can play into it forming ontop of bpd too not just emotional suppression, ie reinforcing appeasement, getting gaslit as a kid, etc

>>40074175
for real, literally impossible to imagine what it even is like to actually unmask at this point :/
the routinely urge to ghost everyone and run away makes it even harder tb h
Replies: >>40074317 >>40074337 >>40074337
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:25:01 AM No.40074314
1522101821629
1522101821629
md5: a36edc6bfbd8f9d37e88166258d97361๐Ÿ”
>>40074070
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:25:39 AM No.40074317
>>40074262
How does one wrangle a quiet bpdmoder
Replies: >>40074329
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:26:55 AM No.40074329
>>40074317
??? i don't understand
Replies: >>40074344
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:28:37 AM No.40074337
>>40074057
>>40074262
can anyone explain the difference between quiet bpd and avoidant personality disorder?

fairly sure i'm avpd but wonder if its actually quiet bpd

>>40074262
>i hated them all so sos osso so much, none of it does anything
its definitely difficult, but if you can find one that vibes well with you it can be very helpful
were you going to people specialized in bpd or dbt? i think thats important, but also someone who understands trans stuff. psychologytoday has the ability to filter stuff and find one nearby, would recommend.
(also, you can do further distance with telehealth, just make sure its in state for insurance)
Replies: >>40074572
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:29:35 AM No.40074344
>>40074329
How does one deal with one if they refuse to show their emotions
Replies: >>40074430
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:41:46 AM No.40074430
>>40074344
thats a real good question,, i have absolutely zero way of knowing the answer tho t bh. but i guess its not like quiet bpdemons are made of stone or anything, its still bpd, their brain is measurably working overdrive in its hypersaturation of emotions... and besides, the lack of self is still there to make reality turn itself out ig... what is the context of the question??
its really tuff as hell to describe honestly its a *really* complex disorder to have im ngl
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:51:45 AM No.40074504
>>40073832 (OP)
>tfw accidentally triggered the sexy arab girls quiet BPD and went from husband fantasy to disposable meat dildo overnight
Replies: >>40074511 >>40074520
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:52:46 AM No.40074511
>>40074504
How did you trigger her?
Replies: >>40074544
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:53:43 AM No.40074520
>>40074504
can you kys please?
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 9:57:59 AM No.40074544
>>40074511
it was long distance at first and trying to keep it casual and she was catching feelings (I was too) but I was still open about sleeping with other women and she wasnโ€™t as cool with it as she claimed. I wish sheโ€™d have just begged me not to and thrown a dramatic fit cause I wouldโ€™ve stopped but instead she just slowly stopped caring and decided to drop me and hoe phase.
Replies: >>40074608
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:01:39 AM No.40074572
>>40074337
>can anyone explain the difference between quiet bpd and avoidant personality disorder?
>
>fairly sure i'm avpd but wonder if its actually quiet bpd
quiet bpd is a form of expression for bpd, it doesn't lack any traits of bpd so its a bit weird to be so specific, as you can have lots of issues.. they dont have to be all defined by one disorder. but personality disorders in general (ESPECIALLY the 'cluster' stuff) are really loose and stringent so its hard to compare them, and avpd is ueeh its not gonna be easy to discuss when its defined by a fearful attachment style. but bpd's defining factor is it being impossible to define as either neurotic or psychotic and a complete and utter lack of self, and bpd has a fear of abandonment, not necessarily a fear of rejection. that and bpd is severe as hell

idk thats just some i guess. it is a bit of a weird question.
Replies: >>40074645
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:02:40 AM No.40074578
>>40073956
explain pls

>>40073945
the fire will return, trust
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:06:47 AM No.40074608
>>40074544
I dig back through our messages and I pick up on little things that I missed at the time but it was her way of quietly screaming.

You could tell there was so much more under the surface with her but she keeps this poker face up

Sheโ€™s a rare girl, itโ€™s not offend a girl captures my interest like that
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:08:04 AM No.40074618
>>40073832 (OP)
No you'll just cheat and hold every little thing you can against your partner, BPD people should be culled
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:10:33 AM No.40074634
Hunchback-disneyscreencaps_com-3449
Hunchback-disneyscreencaps_com-3449
md5: 2c87c6adc2fccaa9e719beaf1a869503๐Ÿ”
>>40073927
Confirmed

however, I would say it's more humane to set them on fire with jellied gasoline and ensure no one has a chance to encounter them ever again
Replies: >>40074876
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:11:41 AM No.40074645
>>40074572
i see, that makes sense

it also makes me wonder if i just have both, or avpd with bpd traits. i am absolutely avoidant to a crippling degree, but i also have a fear of abandonment and feel like i have a lack of sense of self
Replies: >>40075107
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:52:32 AM No.40074867
>>40073927
>pic
which of these disorders are fembrained and which are malebrained?
Replies: >>40074894 >>40075107
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 10:55:44 AM No.40074876
>>40074634
please do it to me
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:00:10 AM No.40074892
a34c9df0d46969360abba11b9095ff55
a34c9df0d46969360abba11b9095ff55
md5: c8e637d33b8bec3c5cf6a2493cf5a331๐Ÿ”
>>40073832 (OP)
>is it even worth trying to date

no. everyone always leaves eventually. sure, ideally a partner SOUNDS nice in theory, but humans are rarely compatible.

so even if you do manage to date someone, the chances of that relationship staying strong and healthy are very VERY low. it's not pre 2000s anymore, meaningful relationships whether platonic or romantic are dead.

long are the days where you could go out, make friends, and get a long lasting bf/gf.

Humans are social creatures, but with the way the world is now.

socializing is dead. relationships are dead. friendships are dead.
Replies: >>40074924
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:00:33 AM No.40074894
>>40074867
all are fembrained if you think about it, being mentally ill is a girl thing
dog !/LC1a95fQk
6/16/2025, 11:01:14 AM No.40074898
>>40073832 (OP)
Dating with mental illness/ issues is only worth is you find a secure partner. You do risk getting dumped, rejected and criticised more by securely attached people but all other relationships are just long drawn self inflicted torture sessions.
>>40073927
Depends on what you are equipped to deal with. I've had less issues with bpd women versus avoidant women. That being said bpd is overly diagnosed and can recess.
Replies: >>40074924 >>40074999
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:06:53 AM No.40074924
e6c95d296dfeaf9ba39dc9e8f6c34b39
e6c95d296dfeaf9ba39dc9e8f6c34b39
md5: 6d87398aef4f536c815dc1a2c87b8353๐Ÿ”
>>40074898
>Dating with mental illness/ issues is only worth is you find a secure partner. You do risk getting dumped, rejected and criticised more by securely attached people but all other relationships are just long drawn self inflicted torture sessions.

so you're basically saying what I'm >>40074892 saying. Dating and trying to make friends just brings pain. it's not worth the trouble.
Replies: >>40074930 >>40075151
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:08:47 AM No.40074930
>>40074924
ok what if i have the mental illness that also makes me very codependent and an anxious attacher, do i just rope? im 20 and good looking and i think im funny but never dated no matter how hard i tried
Replies: >>40074941 >>40074954
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:11:23 AM No.40074941
>>40074930
to add to this ive been talking to a girl for a week and ive already started dreaming about her and crying when i wake up because it's so nice
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:14:02 AM No.40074954
9ff4303936b457f74b3b53253b729326
9ff4303936b457f74b3b53253b729326
md5: 79a24739ed2e0f87a9ce5dff4b06e6af๐Ÿ”
>>40074930
I mean, you could date for the fun of it. But finding someone you can depend and rely on is a rarity.

you only really have yourself at the end of the day. depend on YOURSELF, not other people. If you have to use people to socialize, then do it but never become too attached.
Replies: >>40074982
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:20:04 AM No.40074982
>>40074954
i cant date for the fun of it, ive turned down sex multiple times because i dont want to spend such time with a girl i dont love

i know im being a whiney bitch right now but i really cant depend on myself
i find it too hard to hold down a job, i learned accounting but that's soul draining and made me start cutting again, wagie jobs have too much social interaction with customers so that i just broke down crying the times i tried it

why was i put on this earth
Replies: >>40074995
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:22:20 AM No.40074995
>>40074982
it's ok, I get it. I can't even go for walks out of fear people might see me, so you're doing better than me atleast.
Replies: >>40075009
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:22:39 AM No.40074999
>>40074898
What's wrong with avoidants?
Replies: >>40075014 >>40075034 >>40075151
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:24:57 AM No.40075009
>>40074995
no i'm not much better, ive left the home 3 times in 8 weeks, 1 was a job interview (no call back) and 2 walks at night time, i go down to the unlit canal or to the city forest usually because nobody wants to be at these places at 2am
one time i got stop and searched by cops and it made me cry and i could tell they also felt uncomfortable after that
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:26:52 AM No.40075014
2a04eb255817daab4f8f7c7f8e1dd666
2a04eb255817daab4f8f7c7f8e1dd666
md5: c50ee6ebb211e065cc16e7efc554050e๐Ÿ”
>>40074999
as an avoidant, I think it's because it's in our name. we AVOID the people we said we would love, and in turn it leaves the other partner feeling neglected or ignored. This attachment style is probably the worst one in my opinion. I've burned every single bridge just because I'm avoidant and ghost everyone who gets too close.

it's not our fault, but that's just the way it is.
Replies: >>40075034 >>40075071 >>40075090
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:33:02 AM No.40075034
>>40075014
>This attachment style is probably the worst one in my opinion
by definition its when you got double cooked on it how is it not objectively the worst lol. that particular behaviour is also very common in bpd though

>>40074999
they were just citing their own experiences tbf coul,dve just had random luck
Replies: >>40075071
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:44:14 AM No.40075071
>>40075014
>>40075034
as an avoidant as well, i feel like its more damaging to the individual than the partner at least, when compared to something like bpd
can't necessarily speak confidently though because i've never been in any relationship, in typical avpd fashion
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 11:49:29 AM No.40075090
>>40075014
this

i chased an avoidant nearly to my death

i never had a shred of hope; but she kept leading me on
Replies: >>40075169
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 11:52:48 AM No.40075107
>>40074645
>it also makes me wonder if i just have both, or avpd with bpd traits. i am absolutely avoidant to a crippling degree, but i also have a fear of abandonment and feel like i have a lack of sense of self
i'd recc getting screened,, anyone can have avoidant attachment styles but avpd applies it far more broadly and bpd's complete lack of self is often underestimated tb h, with the fear of abandonment only becoming a thing once they get an fp. bpd is a different demon entirely honestly

focusing too much on personality disorders is bad anyways, most of the classifications and particularly groupings were altered heavily by shrinks, many of them basing their existence off almost nothing tb fh, and chasing 'what disorder do i have' can be really unhealthy if done at the wrong times imo

>>40074867
whichever one's respective particular assigner and creator classified it to have an extra 'crazy bitch' stamp to put on women
Replies: >>40075169
horse anon
6/16/2025, 11:58:45 AM No.40075121
>>40073832 (OP)
its best not to.
you'll hurt whoever it is and yourself.
even if you make it far like some years, it'll still happen.
the winning move is to not play.


>>40073927
im all of this ABC
dog !/LC1a95fQk
6/16/2025, 12:05:28 PM No.40075151
>>40074924
No, I'm just saying that securely attached people either force you to get healthy or leave if you don't. They have less patience because they are looking for healthy relationships and are more capable of achieving it.
>>40074999
How I deal with issues in a relationships are harder on avoidants then anxiously attached people because I tend to be highly communicative and appreciate emotional honesty. I only ever had one serious relationship with an avoidant person and it ended particularly badly, so much so I find the behavior untrust worthy.
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 12:10:28 PM No.40075169
>>40075107
>with the fear of abandonment only becoming a thing once they get an fp.
ok, thank you this actually helps a lot
i really don't think i've experienced a "favorite person" type thing before. i just have a general feeling that i'm constantly being abandoned when people aren't around me enough, but i always react in more of a "guess i'll curl up and rot, let them distance themselves" type way instead of how people with bpd make it sound where they fight to get them back

also, i was actually diagnosed with avpd, just wasn't sure if it was mistaken or i was unclear during screening or something

>>40075090
>i never had a shred of hope; but she kept leading me on
would you be willing to talk about this experience a little bit? i had a singular e-dating relationship where they felt led on and it made me feel incredibly guilty. i never knew if it was something i did or not that led them to feel that way.
Replies: >>40075272 >>40075321
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 12:33:54 PM No.40075272
>>40075169
i was madly in love and indescribably Limerent for my previous love; i met her on Taimi in 2020 just as we were both about to finally start hrt (shes a cpl years younger than me im 38 now); she ghosted me at 2 weeks over me having a panic attack; and then she came back a couple months later (which i took as a sign she was who i belonged with); my mom had a major stroke; my beloved comforted me and we were back in a ldr situationship; but she ghosted again later on; i also became close (much closer) with a kind married construction worker on pso2 during that time; i started a relationship with him when he told me he was saving up to move me and everything i owned across the country to his state so i would be safe; not homeless; and someday have a chance at my dreams of love

my mom died on valentines and i didnt cry about her i cried about the girl i loved so much who was avoidant and missing; i tried to put her behind me (impossible)

my pso2 bf moved me just like he said he would; and i was happy at first in our new house but his wife ruined everything with her filthy kitchen messes; i tried to do cleaning but i couldnt keep up with it im disabled; tbibgs went downhill and my bf wouldnt spend time with me in my room where i felt safe

around easter i met my exgf/beatie on the same game; we got close fast (not as fast as me and my wife) and she flew and visited me; on 2nd visit i flew back with her to meet her family and oct 2021 she moved me to live with her family

i was very happy atfirst; but my avoidant love of my life from before; who i now lived 10mins away from (no relation to my move to my gf i promise; it was zero factor; i loved my gf we are the best of friends even today) she told me she still loved me and wanted to try a relationship even though i was taken... i fell into a major depression over this; my gf reluctantly agreed brcause she knew how much the other girl meant to me; she wanted me to be happy
Replies: >>40075321 >>40075349 >>40075404
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 12:35:27 PM No.40075278
1735569522271546
1735569522271546
md5: c7b2ed80e2bd0f2043ef8c25ad17a042๐Ÿ”
>>40073832 (OP)
You probably have more of a chance than your average AvPD
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 12:47:04 PM No.40075321
>>40075169
>>40075272
sorry this is so long

on 2/2/22 i had one dinner date with the love of my life (her name is Evelyn btw; shoulda mentioned that); it went very well; she kissed me goodnight when she dropped me off at home

i was full of the greatest hope abd euphoria of my life i literally had wild brain orgasms from my thc edible drops almost every day i was so happy

but; every time we made plans to see eachother again after that; she canceled or changed it to online plans or outright stood me up

this continued for the next year; i descended into madness and within 4mo my panic disorder came back and i had ever worsening panic attacks over her; i was diagnosed with major depression; agoraphobia; and panic disorder; i couldnt even leave my room; i stopped going downstairs to the game room everyday with my gf (she was just an affectionate bestie by this point; we realized she was aromantic and though she loved me dearly she just couldnt express it in the ways i need) and she had to come be in my room and basically babysit me because i was a danger to myself; i was self harming during my attacks; hitting myself- including with whatever nearby objects

Evelyn still would not give me a straight clear answer why she was treating me the way she did; she still sent me cute selfies everyday; even lewds sometimes; she still said she loved me when we called; she even said she wanted to come see me and cuddle; but she never saw me again in person not even once

in 2023 i sliced my arm open in a panic attack over some snapchat messages with her (it was not a sui attempt but def could have killed me); my bestie took me to ER and i got 7 stitches and spent a week in a mental hospital; a good experience but it didnt do shit to stop my still completely overwhelming feelings for Evelyn

i got worse and worse; and finally around my birthday; shortly after Evelyn got assaulted in a transphobic attack at her work (starbucks); a few days later she finally told me she was straight
Replies: >>40075349 >>40075404
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 12:54:06 PM No.40075349
BDD622C7-728A-4ADE-BE5B-3577867E42B4
BDD622C7-728A-4ADE-BE5B-3577867E42B4
md5: cba58ca3b01dd0f398f1f76f025638de๐Ÿ”
>>40075321
>>40075272
all of it was for nothing

my mental decline; my self harming permanently ruining every joint in my body; im way more crippled now than i used to be

i would have killed myself; but last year on 1/15/24 i met my wife thru this board; and quickly discovered shes the true love of my life; i feel more than even i did before

im very happily married now

my wife flew to meet me on 2/2/24 so now that date isnt cursed by Evelyn anymore; 12 days later on valentines my wife proposed to me; and we married at the end of summer; and moved me to her state a few weeks later

i miss my bestie and cat alot but im finally happy and loved for who i am; loved the way i need; and my love for my wife isnt avoided or rejected; we drown in eachother everyday

thanks for hearing my story

please dont do something like what happened to me; be clear about your feelings
Replies: >>40075366 >>40075403 >>40075404
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 12:57:41 PM No.40075366
>>40075349
very happy for you, im at the stage between being cut off by my own version evelyn (her reason was that she wanted to be poly(whore)) and meeting a good person
Replies: >>40075796
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 1:06:22 PM No.40075403
>>40075349
wow what a story thanks for sharing (genuinely)
Replies: >>40075796
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 1:06:37 PM No.40075404
>>40075272
>>40075321
>>40075349
wow, i'm really sorry you had to deal with that
its nice to know things are better for you at least
and yeah, i definitely wasn't anywhere near that. i feel like that was something beyond even avpd, granted i haven't had a real relationship to actually know what it'd be like but still.

the worst i did was, when the person i was e-dating started talking about moving in (after like a month, where she'd only seen a single picture of me and had never even done vc) i said i felt like things were moving too fast. no constant canceling or ghosting thats for sure. nothing on the level of what she put you through.
Replies: >>40075669
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 2:07:12 PM No.40075669
>>40075404
my wife & i were at the move-in stage at day 5 lol & we basically did from our first meeting a couple weeks later; after that first visit she came back 3 days later for 2 or 3 weeks because we couldnt st& being apart (i was getting dangerous scary heart palpitations from being away from her by our 2nd night apart after the first weekend together; i almost went to the ER it was causing me chest pains); so after that point we badically all but fully lived together; she took a month of family leave remote work when her pto got low & after that she was supposed to fly back but at the airport gate she couldnt bring herself to get on the plane & came back home to me; then a couple weeks later she tried again & missed her flight; finally the next time i just flew back with her & stayed at her apartment which was still shared with her ex & the wmex's bestie roommate; they shared the bigger bedroom & we had the other & thankfully both had bathrooms & showers; we mostly locked ourselves away & rarely interacted with them (though terms were good mostly except for my wife & the roommate); anyways over the whole year we only spent about 5 unconsecutive weeks apart in total from the first visit until we moved into a tiny new apartment together in the same building in her state

we havent seen her ex in a while shes busy with nursing school but we are on good terms; i like her shes friendly & has bern very accepting & accomodating of me im grateful she made it all alot easier & even took us to the airport sometimes or let us use her other old car

my ex/bestie helped us alot too just by letting my wife come stay with me for weeks/months at a time; we mostly just stayed up in my room bc agoraphobia; my bestie also came to film/witness our legal marriage ceremony

back to your post; the Evelyn nightmare was the most painful & difficult mental decline of my life; losing my life to my illnesses & fractures was far easier than that prolonged heartbreak
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 2:31:22 PM No.40075796
>>40075366
unfortunate

i was obviously something of poly at a point myself because even though i had my gf; i couldnt escape my feelings for Evelyn; so i was in love with 2 people; im asexual it was never about anything like that for me; i just loved 2 people but one of them couldnt be what i need and the other couldnt love me back even though she kept saying she did

i spiraled down and down to madness until my wife came into my life and could finally love me the way i need with deep limitless deathly passion and seriousness; and accept my infinite overwhelming love in return; my bestie couldnt do that its just not who she is even though she loves me dearly in her way; we didnt know she was aromantic because i was hee first real relationship; and truthfully she was mine too in terms of irl and closeness; but i spent a lifetime loving more deeply than anyone; she spent a lifetime playing games; and she was content to keep doing that; she never really felt the deep loneliness i did; and the only time i ever felt passion from her was when she tried delta8 drops with me; and had a brain orgasm; but im glad i got to be with her and im sure we will be close as long as we life; our interaction and dynamic is perfect in terms of friendship and she can make me laugh so effortlessly; i adore her; and im so thankful she loved me enough to want me to be truly happy; she kept me alive thru the worst time of my life and got me to my destined wife

>>40075403
ive shared it many times; i guess i like sharing it because i hope that it can give people hope that they can reach their dreams even through disability or mental illness or hopelessly loving and chasing the wrong person

its a cautionary tale; please dont make my mistakes; if they cant love you back and show it in the ways you need they arent all you wish them to be and its very unlikely anything can ever change that; dont decline like i did; keep trying to find what you need
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 2:55:21 PM No.40075940
When my bpd gf threatens suicide i tell her to do it outside the property line so it won't hurt my home value to make sure she knows i dont give a shit and somehow it keeps her from killing herself
Replies: >>40076290 >>40076313
)*Kassandra of Ellaphae !wetBJHdekA
6/16/2025, 3:44:17 PM No.40076290
>>40075940
thats fucked up

she deserves more compassion than that; please be more patient with her and try to prevent her from getting to that point
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 3:46:32 PM No.40076313
>>40075940
if you really loved her youd hold her down and kiss her solemly until she gives up the struggling
Anonymous
6/16/2025, 4:02:07 PM No.40076419
>>40073832 (OP)
It's doable, you just have to find someone with the patience of a saint. (They exist.)