QOTT: Do you consider yourself creative? Do you make art?
last thread: >>40058085

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT
i don't really consider myself really creative, and the stuff i do make probably isn't really art. i do some graphic design projects every now and then but tbdesu i stopped most of my "artistic" pursuits years ago after my english teacher fucked me over
>be me, 13ish, about 8 years ago (iirc? give or take)
>being fucked over by early puberty, we're in the repper thread so y'all get it lmao, also spergy and super asocial
>also an *incredibly* sheltered kid, lived in the care system with a family who just didn't tolerate discussion of stuff like mh or lgbt stuff
>poetry contest in school, winner apparently gets a day out somewhere
>fuck it i'll shit something onto the page and submit that
>give it like 10 minutes tops then end up submitting it, best case i get a day off
>english teacher decides i won and does a ceremony in front of half the fucking school
>mfw the poem's (in vague, spergy terms) about how it must be much nicer to be a girl
>"go on anon, read it for everyone! why don't you want to read it?"
>mfw she decides to submit the fucking thing into a nationwide competition without telling me
>and i come like third in the country
>"oh anon by the way you've got a national award ceremony to go to this week!"
>what the fuck
>deliberately induce vomiting the night before so i didn't have to go in because the carers i had would have disowned me for it if they knew
never written anything creative since beyond stuff that was absolutely necessary for like grades n shit. sucks because she was a genuinely great teacher otherwise but i still think that was a bitch move

>>40089346
It's such a shame when someone tries to nurture your talents but there's some rotten link in the chain (your caretakers in this case) that prevents their efforts from amounting to anything.
>That was a bitch move
Well, she did what would normally be conductive for a creative and talented child, she just didn't know about your anxiety related to it. To be fair to her, you certainly never told her about WHY this scared you, did you? And I absolutely understand why, I've missed out on so many opportunities and given up on so many hobbies and interests for the same exact reason, but I also can't blame people whose help or interest I rejected out of anxiety my secret would come out.

>>40089190 (OP)
> Do you consider yourself creative?
Idk Ig somewhat - I’ve made lots of round about and traffic junctions with the lanes mapped out as I found that quite relaxing for quite a while. Ik it’s a bit of an unusual hobby
Do you make art?
No

>>40089190 (OP)
take your fucking HRT, retards

>>40089398
>Well, she did what would normally be conductive for a creative and talented child, she just didn't know about your anxiety related to it.
that's a very good point actually anon
i did try to tell her on a couple of occasions how like the whole thing of being dragged in front of people to present my shit was really badly affecting me but i guess without explaining the specifics behind that it probably would have just seemed like stage fright as opposed to a spergy troon-to-be shitting bricks over potential homelessness again lmao
>It's such a shame when someone tries to nurture your talents but there's some rotten link in the chain that prevents their efforts from amounting to anything.
absolutely seconded on this though
i suppose the nature of my upbringing really never meant it was going to amount to much but for what it's worth i at least appreciate the fact that she felt it was good enough to try, when in actual fact i'll just like objectively off-rip say it was inane rambly shit i threw together in a lunchbreak
ultimately though i can't shake the feeling that her efforts were really just wasted on me, especially when some of the other kids in my class had way more support behind them elsewhere and had just as much of an interest in stuff like that as i did. and that's like. oh. i guess i technically sabotaged everyone in my class by not being good enough at accepting success then huh. rip
sorry this is kinda rambly i don't remember much about stuff between like ages 7 and 19ish so it's all sort of still coming to me in the moment

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT: Do you consider yourself creative? Do you make art?

lately my art has been very stale. depression zapped my creativity like a bug.

>>40089524
Talent means a lot too, and real art comes from personal experience and pain. So don't sell yourself too short, you put your heart on a page.
>Sorry this is kinda rambly
This is a vent thread frankly, being rambly isn't a problem at all. Pining for what we could've been as the opposite sex or even just with supportive parents that would've let us troon out is what we're all about, isn't it?

>>40089458
youre still here !! <3<3<3
i ordered the diy but the universe doesnt want me to take my meds, i can no longer troon out

>>40089671
keep trying

>>40089190 (OP)
no, never
>>40089346
i used to draw random shapes and things through school but the teachers always complained im not paying attention enough so i ended up staring into nothing and not developing anything

>>40089190 (OP)
i do gamedev but i project hop like crazy and will never publish anything

>>40089675
i cant, i have no way to solve this, i should rep

>>40089748
nope
if your DIY got seized find another method

>>40089751
whats the other method? i cant go get it ""legally"" thanks though

>>40089760
I mean shipping method or supplier

>>40089764
i wish i could keep talking to you, sorry it wont solve it. im doomed to a life of repping

>>40089778
nah

>>40089190 (OP)
Yeah I'm an artist. Not very good but I'm trying.
I don't think people can tell I'm a repper from my art, mainly because I don't draw how I really feel or anything too personal. I'd be afraid of being exposed and losing what few friends I have.
I'm leaning into it as a coping method lately though, hoping that when I'm drawing I won't to think about this stuff.

>>40089190 (OP)
I do lots of worldbuilding for ttrpgs that I end up never actually GMing because I'm too much of a sperg. I'd like to be able to do "real" creative stuff like art but I've always been bad at it

>>40089664
>real art comes from personal experience and pain.
is it just me who cried at that scene in that one doctor who episode where they meet vincent van gogh and they take him to the future to see some of his works and a curator is like explaining how wonderful his work is and he just starts sobbing
that always really, really stuck with me
i wish i could have given him a hug
>This is a vent thread frankly, being rambly isn't a problem at all.
thanks anon! that's actually really nice of you, ik all of this kind of comes across like picrel at a glance but tbdesu this is the closest i have to screaming into the void and actually getting a response lmao
>Pining...
...yeah, i suppose it is.
>>40089680
>I used to draw...
i'm so sorry to hear that anon, that sounds like it must have been awful for you
i can sort of understand that in a sense, i knew a few kids who were in a similar boat
i just hope you managed to glean at least something of use from that time in your life, no matter how small

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT
i don't but others have called me creative and artistic

>>40089834
:( back to never talking to anyone

>>40089952
worst thing is it helped me understand i think, after being forced to just watched i never managed to pay attention

>>40089952
Never seen Doctor Who, personally. Either way, sharing your real feelings is the best thing about anonymity.

>>40090083
I used to be good at math and find it easy, but at one point a teacher told me off for looking up whenever I was calculating
>UH ANON, THE ANSWER ISNT WRITTEN ON THE CEILING
Since then I've hated math and became bad at it

Have you ever tried being a flamer?

i want to be a girl :(

>>40090152
No, flamers are creepy to me and even to normal gays

>>40090263
maybe being an effeminate gay man could be just as much fun!

>>40090299
maybe you just have internalized homophobia

>>40090323
No, I like and have dated regular gay men
Flamers acting super zesty like theyre drag queens or teenage girls creeps me out

>>40090061
well you're dodging answering, so what actually happened?

I am 26 and have no concept of self I just realized. If I think of 'me' there is only a vague concept there but I can't really picture myself. If I am not looking in the mirror I don't really know what I look like. And even if I am looking in the mirror I just don't feel particularly connected to what is looking back at me. Normal or not?

>>40090341
suddenly nothing can ship to where i live, its going to be like this for a long time

i want to forcibly masculinize a cis woman i want to make my pain their pain

>>40089190 (OP)
I'm creative enough, language is my medium.

>>40090106
>sharing your real feelings is the best thing about anonymity.
absolutely seconded
ik 4chan isn't anonymous anyways but tbdesu my genuine feelings and shitty ventposting isn't me saying i'm going to blow up a hospital or something, so it's not like the party van's likely to turn up until all tranny-adjacents in britain are shipped off to larkhill
but yeah for what it's worth i'm just really glad this place exists? not necessarily that we're all feeling the way we do, i'd never wish that on anyone, but just... the fact that there's somewhere where people like us can exist and commiserate. maybe that sounds stupid. idk. i just hope you're all able to make it out, somehow or other, in some way or another. <3
>>40090505
>I am 26 and have no concept of self I just realized.
>Normal or not?
textbook sign of trauma of some kind (repping, especially from a young age, is traumatic on its own, but other stuff beyond that probably might apply)
i'd wager the vast majority of reppers here feel in some way similarly, so i suppose it's "normal" in the sense that it's not something out-of-left-feel abnormal, but most "ordinary" people don't feel like that
i'm sorry anon :(

if i'm over 3 year on HRT and legally changed my name and sex can i still be a repressor? i dress like a guy and have short hair and go by my original, male name. i also have no surgeries

>>40090340
>Flamers acting super zesty
but you want to act feminine, that's your dream

>>40090796
women don't act like drag queens

>>40090780
posted it again award

>>40090676
Yeah it's not really anonymous but the only people that can pin your identity on you in this format don't give a fuck at least. I'm a burger so it's not quite as bad for us, but it's on the same trajectory as you all in the UK so it means a lot to not have to be public with all this. So yeah, it's really healthy to be able to vent and talk about this somewhere, not as healthy as being able to fix/solve the problem, but we're not quite there yet technologically and the culture is turning bad, so this is the next best thing. I, personally, only have extremely anti-trans friends so it's the only place where I can vent.

>>40090809
>women don't act like drag queens
many do

I will never be trutrabs
I should detrans
I hate life
I hate life I hate life
I hard life
Not body will ever hold me close and kept me safe
I’m worthless
I’m male and yet I deny it
I hate life
Help me
I know you can’t
I’ll hurt you like I hurt them. I’m selfish and..petty and evil

>>40090879
>I will never be trutrabs
>I should detrans
>I hate life
>I hate life I hate life
>I hard life
>Not body will ever hold me close and kept me safe
>I’m worthless
>I’m male and yet I deny it
>I hate life
>Help me
>I know you can’t
>I’ll hurt you like I hurt them. I’m selfish and..petty and evil

can you even call yourself a tru-repper if you dont laser off the remaining hairs on your balding head?
if you go nuclear you can never go back

>>40090934

>>40090930
Men can’t be girls
If the mind isbt right the body wont follow

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT
Not necessarily. I like doodling gross-looking things to destress, but they're typically derivative (think Funger or Isaac).

i wish i could be anything feminine. i wish i was low t and feminine as a man cause at least that would have been some indication that my fantasies and wants were legitimate in some fashion. instead of deranged and perverted thoughts from a prison gay porn addicted overwhelmingly masculine agp wide bodied, wide chested, wide shouldered, big long headed, horse faced, big nosed, big eared, hairy, delusional and possibly schizophrenic and narcissistic anxiety filled ugly adult male. i wouldn't be like this if i would have just tried to socialize more as a teen and young adult instead of dooming myself to a life of isolation and embarrassment because i let insane unfounded and disgusting fantasies delude me into thinking i was something i never was and never will be. i hate myself.

>>40089190 (OP)
I like playing music, though I'm not sure if I'd call myself "creative" in that outlet, as I've never really had much of a drive to make my own. I've recorded shitty covers before, but nothing I've ever purposefully tried writing. Currently attempting to learn a TTNG riff.
I do some drawing too, but it's also likewise pretty amateurish.

really might come out to my family to light a fire under my ass. best case scenario they support me, worst case scenario i die, either way i don't have to live like this anymore

>>40093103
Godspeed.

>>40090780
>>40090879
GET THE FUCK OUT

>>40090505
I hear this can be a sign of autism. I have never been able to pin down what I look like and have very little physical concept of self. To me I am my brain and everything in the outside world feels tertiary and dreamlike.

>>40093498
>Image
It's strange to me that not many people have acknowledged that their upbringing has instilled something called learned helplessness, which has been well studied in both human and animal psychology, in them.

>>40093498
So close to admitting reppression is a rational adaptation to transphobia and not some individual moral failing

Did you find Feyd Rautha hot in dune 2?
If yes you're fembrained

>>40093571
Bald is ugly. Also I read the books and to me Feyd is a whiny sniveling evil little shit that I couldn't stand.

>>40093571
nux from fury road will remain my #1 weird pale bald guy movie character

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT
I create elaborate escapist fantasies in my head of different lives where I'm female/passing trans that I usually spend like half the day dreaming about for months at a time before gradually moving over to a new iteration. I have some old favorites I started years ago that I still go back to every once in a while too. Unless I'm doing something that really holds my attention one of my fantasies is constantly at the back of my mind, and if I have nothing to do then I usually put it at the front of my mind. Getting drunk is one of the only things that actually lets me feel like I'm not totally out of it. It's scary how well I've learned to disassociate from the world around me, I think my overreliance on doing this as a coping mechanism probably contributed to why I feel so disconnected from reality all the time.
I've never written my fantasies down but I feel like it might be a good idea to try. Having an outlet would probably be better than fermenting my brain 24/7 and the thought of turning one of my dreams into a coherent story sounds nice. I can barely ever find the motivation to do much more than the bare minimum required to keep up appearances though, so I'll probably never get around to it. It takes effort to even will myself to play a videogame or read a book nowadays.
Drawing seems cool but I have zero talent for it so I've never really tried. I love looking at other people's drawings and using them as (maladaptive) daydream fuel though.

>>40093558
Rational, but certainly not healthy.

It's been a very long time since I've shown my true face to anyone, I wonder if I even have one anymore.
There are wonderful people who really care about my facade, but that doesn't make me feel any less alone.
I don't think I'm even a real person.

>>40089190 (OP)
Maybe I’m just a very empathetic confused chaser and giving a tranny her perfect life would fix me

sex with reppers uohhh

having a twinkhon gf who lets me live through her would fix me, i think

>>40089190 (OP)
Can AGP be managed w/ self autonomy in the closet w/o revelation for life ? Or does a John >50 die in horrid pain?

I'm reading this it's good but it just reminds me about everything I missed out on.

>>40094817
Reppers don't have sex

>>40093872
I've hidden my true feelings behind so many layers of irony I don't even have an identity anymore

>>40089190 (OP)
are exceptionally autistic & ugly people permitted or allowed to crossdream?

>ywn be fucked in your pussy

GUYS IM SAD

>>40093571
> I create elaborate escapist fantasies in my head of different lives where I'm female/passing trans that I usually spend like half the day dreaming about for months at a time before gradually moving over to a new iteration
as an ex-repper, mood, I used to do this as well
> I've never written my fantasies down but I feel like it might be a good idea to try. Having an outlet would probably be better than fermenting my brain 24/7 and the thought of turning one of my dreams into a coherent story sounds nice
I'm confident this is how some reppers function and that this is how we get TG erotica.

my body is a cruel joke

>>40093498
Yeah, pretty much how I feel. Not diagnosed but you'd only get a diagnosis if you'd be pretty much non-verbal where I grew up. Don't really struggle with interacting with people though. On test I usually get low to moderate likelihood of tism.

>>40095179
My body is tea

Being trans is a mental illness perks
>Treatment paid for by insurance
>Anyone who mistreats you is beating up on the mentally ill which isn't cool
>Can't control it, so not something you can be blamed for personally
>Don't have to commit yourself to any kind of ontology about "gender" or identity


And yet trannies rejected all of this. What the nani fuck

I really just wish this shit was not on the news so I could ignore it better. something weirdly funny about there being a Trans Debate making it way harder to ignore it in the way they want
also just realized my nail polish is like the exact same color as this board lol
>>40095981
>Anyone who mistreats you is beating up on the mentally ill which isn't cool
yeah for sure would work like that

should i transition at 30

should i transition at 78

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>40093571
Maybe I'm a half fembrained schizo

About to upgrade to being a HRT repper next week and honestly I’m already having second thoughts on it

>>40096267

you could even get WELFARE for it anon. You can't even see the limitless possibilities available. but nope troons gonna troon.

>>40095981
Because the people you're dealing with think that you can and should treat all mental illnesses with electrocution, lobotomies, and drugging one to the point of zombification or, failing that, believe that an acceptable treatment is to beat and abuse one to the point where they are mindbroken and swear eternal allegiance to a religious cult.

>>40098526
>Because the people you're dealing with think that you can and should treat all mental illnesses with electrocution, lobotomies, and drugging one to the point of zombification

Man trannies are paranoid. Must be part of the mental illness.

>>40098424
going to triangulate a "vaccines gave me the woke mind virus that turned me trans" to match the way the government talks about autism, think there's something here

>>40098526
boo hoo, mummy and daddy dragged you to church a few times as a kid, whine some more

>>40098564
Never talked to anyone anti-trans have you. Also like how you ignored the part about abuse and indoctrination.

>>40089190 (OP)
>qott
no not at all. im the most uncreative tranny out there

im too scared of diy hrt

>>40098703
Literally you just go to some websites that are regularly listed in /hrtgen/ and just buy it like it's on Amazon. The hardest part is learning how to use Bitcoin or other cryptocurrency, and even that's not so hard. There are apps designed to make it simple, like CashApp.

>>40098703
same

>>40098723
yeah i did that i'm still scared

if you can't pass it's healthier and sane to repress. this shouldn't be a controversial statement, especially on a board that hates people who don't and can't pass. i don't consider myself trans or a repressor at heart though. just someone with a weird sexuality i've learned to accept.

>>40098931
I don't feel healthy and sane.

>>40098959
if you'd ultimately be happier as someone visibly trans who can't and will never pass then there's nothing stopping you from doing that. being more content not transitioning if you cannot pass is just my personal opinion.

having to wear Wide size shoes is the greatest humiliation that can be inflicted on someone

>>40098931
not really? i mean if you have enough dysphoria to the point where you need to visit repgen daily and neet all day maybe its worth giving a chance
but i agree some people rep without knowing they do and it should be kept this way

I can't date as a passing pre-op tranny, and transitioning impacted my professional development so I'm a pretty low tier wagie at 30.
Even though I'm not happy with this, I still get to live a normal-ish stealth life where I go out sometimes and I have friends, and I'm a woman. I see myself in the mirror sometimes and go "eh, at least I got an ok tranny life, that's pretty fucking rad actually".
so, in essence, getting to wear nice dresses, having long hair, looking somewhat pretty with minimal makeup and getting recognized and treated as a woman is enough to keep me wanting to go on. It's a weird position to be in, but I'm glad it worked out somewhat

>>40099966
Why even post this? The whole reason most of us are here is because we're neverpassers.

>>40100010
>Why even post this?
to point out that midway options can work for some people. My life is socially limited do to the dick and balls situation, but there's still something to live for.
>most of us are here is because we're neverpassers.
not all are neverpassers though, a lot of people rep because "they have not an ounce of femininity in them" and it seems insane to get from that point to one where they actually let go of their stilted mannerisms and presentation and maybe start learning shit like makeup. So they never even consider their potential to troon because it seems like a ridiculous idea.
When I repped, I never tried to crossdress, never had long hair, worked out in a gym, the only remotely trannyish thing about me was wishing I was born a woman and my agp "fetish" where I couldn't comfortably use my junk and I fapped to feminization porn. Trooning from that point seemed totally insane, especially since I was almost 24, but it worked out.

>>40100145
You're failing to acknowledge your passoid privilege.

>>40099699
bars
>>40100145
> from that point seemed totally insane, especially since I was almost 24
nta and glad you're happy friend but idk if you're a "midway option" given that you weren't _that_ old. like I'm plus a half decade and a lot of shit like my hair is gone, normal-ish stealth is just not possible anymore for a lot of people to get to where you are

>>40100286
I'm not, I realize my life works for me due to the passoid status.
I guarantee you there are a lot of early-mid 20s people in this thread who never seriously considered trooning and just assume it would never work
>>40100291
>hair gone
I'm sorry about that, I was norwood 1 when I started and I'm quite insecure about it. You're like fully bald at 29?

lol norwood 1
i am norwood 3 and i am younger than both of you

>>40100373
not fully bald, idk much about norwood because reading too much hair shit makes me want to kill myself but using the wikipedia pic like 4-5 ish?

>wah wah balding
Not a real problem, certainly not an actual impediment to passing.

>>40100461
> Not a real problem
agreed
> not an actual impediment to passing.
lol lmao

>>40100573
Even in the worst cases, like if you had alopecia areata or some shit, you could still make do with a wig. Meanwhile, your skull, height and frame will always lead to being unable to pass past a certain point, and are also unfixable.

>>40099699
why did you have to do me like this

the internet is so fucking bad now you can't even find some solace in neetdom.

>>40101710
Now that's a fucking truth nvke. Maybe even a Trvth Chicxulub asteroid impact.

I wish I was an attractive sporty tomboy who had a LOT of sex at university

Women drive me insane with envy. Oh well. Nothing you can do about it.

I have no idea what the fuck I am. I’m a hot guy (at least I’ve been told enough times I’m starting to believe it). And I like being a hot guy. But I want to be androgynous tomboy. But I’m too tall and I don’t have the right build. And I still also like being a guy sometimes. Fuck my life.

I can't really tell what I look like.

>>40101209
more like why did genetics have to do ME like that

>>40094866
jokes on you i bottom for random dads on grindr to feel small :3

is there a twink death archive?

>>40094817
why would you want that

>>40102396
i feel the same, i got complemented for a shirt bringing out my figure and felt good about it but also felt horrible about it because it just cemented how non feminine i am. I am comfortable just existing as a guy most of the time, but i get sudden bouts of horrible dysphoria that last for like a week
>do you draw?
sometimes
>>40099699
im a size 14 in men im going to kill myself

i write, dance, draw, make music, sculpt, and am trying to do even more just as a hobby (^з^) art is peak human activity, our ancestors were onto something

>>40099699
I like standing or sitting near women and surreptitiously glancing down and comparing our shoe sizes using tile or sidewalk patterns
>>40103993
cool artstyle

>>40093837
I do this. Been using LLM sloppa lately and I'm afraid I like it.

>>40093837
Write them down anon. Or just keep up a diary to maintain some mental health. Currently using an Obsidian vault detailing how I'd like the maladaptive daydream to look like. Not super useful but at least gets me thinking.

Repping makes me extremely homophobic

my browbone is huge

>laser not strong enough to get rid of my stubble
>World's tiniest eyes no surgery
>Pronounced bone everywhere, ffs impossible.
>Upper lip, Adams apple, all would clearly look male ever after ffs.
I would be happy with androgyne or partially passing, but I don't think I can ever do that.

>>40104820
Brow lift + reduction, jaw shave and a haircut to hit forehead and it unironically wouldn't be bad. Your eyes especially are not a problem.

>>40100145
>I never tried to crossdress, never had long hair, worked out in a gym, the only remotely trannyish thing about me was wishing I was born a woman and my agp "fetish" where I couldn't comfortably use my junk and I fapped to feminization porn
me but I'm 6'2 with giga masculine bone structure so I can't ever do anything about it
now leave and go thank God for how fortunate you are instead of rubbing it in our faces

>>40101710
real
it fucking sucks so bad, especially with how everybody randomly talks about trans stuff all the time now

>>40104634
the last time I tried one it read as too fake and generic to really feel engaging desu, any recommendations?
>>40104704
I didn't know Obsidian Vault was a thing but it seems cool so I might try it, thanks anon

I want a cute wholesome middle school lesbian romance with my best friend. I want to discover my sexuality and be supported by my parents and my friends. I want to sleep over at my girlfriends house and snuggle with her in her warm bed while there's a winter storm outside. I want her to cuddle me and rub my tummy when I get cramps. I want her to tell me I'm beautiful. I want us to plan our future together. I want to go to sleepovers and gossip about our crushes. I want to get into stupid fights over nothing and then cry and make up. I want to take care of my girlfriend when she has the flu. I want to spend my summer holidays at the beach with my girlfriend. I want her to rub aloe vera on my back when I get sunburnt, I want to sneak out of our beach house at night and lay on in the sand and look up at the stars all night. I want to try alcohol for the first time and get tipsy and fall asleep on my girlfriends shoulder.

>>40105891
If it makes you feel better anon this doesn't happen for 99 percent of cis lesbians. We mainly get ostracised and bullied to death and at best have straight girls toy with us.

>>40105916
Yeah, I know it's just an unrealistic fantasy disconnected from reality. I just want the cute teen lesbian romance I keep reading about. I'm always going to be miserable. I'm sure I'd be miserable as a girl too.

>>40101710
I was posting on /a/ back in the mid 2000s. It made me hate anime and I didn't recover my passion for it until years later. Things are even worse now. Everything is rage bait, you can't discuss anything without people telling you why you're a fucking retard and you should be killed for saying Haruka is the best Blue Archive girl.

>>40105966
that's a funny way of spelling rio

>>40104820
I’m usually mean to trans people on the internet but you actually look like girls i know. Youre not going to be a like dainty petite woman but you could pass if you put effort in. I think even without ffs. Grow your hair out for starters. You look like big boned cis girls that i know. I know that sounds mean “big boned” but it can be cute and sexy. I truly think you would pass if you tried anon. I hope you try. I’d help u if it were irl and not the internet

>>40106728
I respect your opinion friend there is no incorrect choice of best girl

>See cis woman having normal vaginal sex with her boyfriend
>Feel intense agony and envy because I will never, ever, ever feel what it's like to be fucked in my pussy

Anal is not the same
Oral is not the same
SRS is not the same
It's fucking over.

>>40089190 (OP)
Porn anime and transformation cartoons are me a freak
I’m not trans I’m stopping my hurt after years of taking it cause I legit have nothing feminine about me
Might as well go full man lol
I’m almost 30
My life never begun
Once I’m 30 on the day after I’ll end it like I always wanted.

iwnbaw

God, what did I do to deserve this? Why did you give humans the ability to want something impossible and so illogical?
Women's bodies are weaker, slower and more fragile. Yet I want one.
Women still suffer social injustices in some regards. Yet I want to be seen as one.
How does this make any sense?
God, what did I do to deserve this?

>>40089190 (OP)
Bros I've fucked up. My IG algorithm has started supplying an endless stream of the hottest trans girls known to man. I'm not saying that lightly, I'm a seasoned chaser. The multitude of successful cases is biasing my perception and making me think transition is doable.

>>40107846
beating yourself up with images of successful women on social media not considering that they're the top of the top is very fembrained

>>40105398
I'm running deepseek locally. It works decently well, but it retains a lot of the issues you mention, though it at least manages to stick to a literary style as long as you feed it with decent writing of your own, as well as establishing a setting and characters well.

>>40107868
Just look at this nonsense

>>40104845
>>40106869
Thanks.

>>40108008
Yeah comparing this to my square-shaped head pisses me off, too.

>>40108050
Yeah your faceapp is a bit disappointing. Maybe it would be better with a higher quality pic

>>40108193
Oh, that's not me, I'm another anon entirely also here to bemoan my face.

I think I'm going to spend my initial mortgage payment on FFS. I will use this to determine whether transition is worth it. I don't think FFS would damage boy or manmode looks too badly. Sharp features are universally attractive. There's not enough examples of men getting FFS just to be feminine men. As long as you avoid gay looking fat fillers and lip fillers the rest of the standard procedures could look nice on most men.

>>40108393
FFS does barely anything.

>>40108438
Oh yeah

FFS should be free for all reppers

>>40108860
Of course it should

my face is actually feminine
too bad my forehead, jaw, and cheeks are monstrously huge

>>40108860
no, MAID should be free

>>40108860
There will come a time when you can just buy a new face entirely.

>>40109291
there won't lmao, not for long at least
the instant trans people start using that service it'll be legislated out of existence

>>40089190 (OP)
Hi I want to kill myself

>>40109634
shame how hard it is

>>40109634
Daring today, are we?

anyone else have godawful lifelong anxiety? since as early as i can remember like (4-5ish), i can remember having massive anxiety issues over absolutely fucking everything but not being able to understand why. i think it exacerbated my sadness and self hate over the fact that i had agp TF fantasies so young that ruined my sexuality and sexual awakening (at like 7-8). bad anxiety runs on my mom's side and my sister, mom, and grandmother all have bad anxiety issues. i truly believe if i wasn't genetically predisposed to have anxiety issues i wouldn't have ruined my most crucial years where i should have experienced key social milestones by being a self hating shut in. i don't think i would have thought i was a tranny for so many years if anxiety wasn't basically turning every thought and emotion i felt into full blown panic or anger or hate. i have never felt at ease or relaxed ever.

my broken brain basically ruined my life i think. i tried ssris and therapy too and neither stuck or helped. ssris just felt like someone tore out my soul and muted all my emotions so i didn't feel like me, i hated them. as i age in my thirties though i am becoming more self aware and accepting that i am mentally ill and i will always be an anxious wreck. it puts the tranny thoughts a bit more on the backburner, this realization. i truly think i would have been a 100% healthy and normal man if my mother didn't fuck up my life with her genes. i think there's like one person on my father's side with anxiety and literally 80% of the women on my mother's side have bad anxiety issues. it's a broken and demented bloodline, part of why i will never have kids.

>>40108008
she used to or still does post here. is this just you posting here looking for compliments or what this is too specific of a tranny for you to have posted dude.

>>40110276
>anyone else have godawful lifelong anxiety?
Yes.
>it puts the tranny thoughts a bit more on the backburner, this realization
No.

>>40110568
maybe it does for me because i'm not actually trans and just a dude who ruined his life by worrying too much about a delusional fetish that never had any basis in reality.

>>40110276
Yes. Feel pain in my chest when I hear loud sounds.

I hate my face so much bros

i always forget how fucking retarded and cringey 98% of this fucking board is, how i cannot stand this community. /r9k/ mostly sucks too as it has for ages. there's nowhere for true fucking loser failures to vent on this fucking site anymore and it genuinely drives me insane. my own fault for never seeking out likeminded people and being a hermit online and off. i guess i should just stay in repgen.

>>40112900
better yet i'm just leaving cause i'm an annoying retard that adds nothing to any thread he posts in. have this bump though.

>>40112900
take your HRT, retard

>>QOTT
I dabbled a bit in level creation for valve games but lost overall interest since I was never happy with what I made
couldnt really learn gamedev stuff either when I tried because too stupid for it lol

>>40111311
That happens to me when I think about driving.

>>40112900
> anymore
always been like that
idk why but my brain keeps reading the black symbol on red background as the albanian flag

>>40112900
There's no one like me. My way of being is just not accepted not even here. It really hurts so much you have no idea. Even in fictional contexts I'll never be free of it.

tfw too tall to be a tranny

>>40115381
how tall is too tall?

>>40115384
imo, if you're over 5'9 or thereabouts, not even trans people will accept you and you'll simply be cursed to a lonely death

I kind of like being a depressed failure who ghosted everyone who cared about him. I like that I can go home after a shit week at work and lay in bed playing video games all weekend. Having no responsibilities or obligations is neat. It's comfy. This is not cope.

the fact i'm turning 25 later this year and hence will be closer to 30 than 20 is fucking me up.

i’m closer to 50 :(

do you think you could go to narcotics anonymous and say you're addicted to estrogen?

>>40113297
still cant, thank you again

I'm reading this cute high school sapphic romance book rn and I just go to the scene where they first have sex and I can't keep living like this bros

upped my estrogen and now i've got sore nips. being an hrt repper is so hard

any post-ffs post-srs post-womb transplant reppers here?

>>40116634
be a soft boy and get a cis gf or transition and have sapphic sex with another male. You decide which is more lesbian of you

>>40116634
why do you do this to yourself?
i used to be into yuri but stopped for this exact reason.

>>40116991
I can't get a cis gf I'm unlovable.

>>40117404
It's self harm I guess. I think maybe if I make myself miserable enough I'll just stop caring about anything.

>>40117404
Also it's kind of a comfortable depression. Like I feel like shit but I can come home from work curl up in the fetal position in my warm bed and listen to a yuri audiobook while I grind some JRPG on my steam deck. I'm miserable but I'm comfortable... It's better than being miserable and in the trenches of Ukraine I suppose.

its not discussed enough how looking like a man and having breast buds/tgirl boobs looks fucking insane, you can never really wear a shirt again

should i transition at 30 years old

>>40117752
you're telling me. i had to throw out half the shirts I had after I detransitioned. I liked those shirts...

>>40117752
i've grown to be pretty shameless about it. who cares?
>>40117757
yes

>>40117752
Having gyno naturally immunized me to this.

>>40117793
i care when people stare at me, and my family commented on them and i kinda felt like a freak

>>40117829
skill issue. stop caring what other people think

>>40117869
its proving to be pretty impossible to stop doing that, and i bet that's an underlying issue for a lot of ppl in this gen thread. ashamed permanently in a way that doesn't budge

>>40117869
if i could do that i would be taking hrt already instead of repping

Just got wolf whistled and later jeered at for daring to have long hair and go for a walk. Can't imagine how much worse it'd be if I was a full blown troon. Would probably get pushed over and laughed at if not outright beaten.
I wish I lived in an empty world, devoid of other people.

>>40116340
"Hi, I'm John 40 and I'm an addict"

>https://www.reddit.com/r/mtfbeautyandfashion/comments/1lg7b34/can_i_pull_off_a_bikini_yet_if_so_which_one/
god i wish that were me

>>40117752
It’s not a big deal I sometimes still worry about it but I hardly look at them anymore. Nobody comments on them. Honestly should’ve never stopped E.

>>40089190 (OP)
>QOTT: Do you consider yourself creative? Do you make art?
I don't and I don't. I kind of wish I was creative but it's not the kind of wish that would make me actually put in any effort into it so I guess I don't actually wish it

>Schreber woke up one morning with the thought that "it really must be rather pleasant to be a woman succumbing to intercourse".[11] He was alarmed and felt that this thought had come from somewhere else, not from himself. He even hypothesized that the thought had come from a doctor who had experimented with hypnosis on him; he thought that the doctor had telepathically invaded his mind. He believed his primary psychiatrist, Paul Flechsig, had contact with him using a "nerve-language" of which Schreber said humans are unaware.[12] He believed that hundreds of people's souls took special interest in him, and contacted his nerves by using "divine rays", telling him special information, or requesting things of him. During one of his stays at the Sonnenstein asylum, he concluded that there are "fleeting-improvised-men" in the world, which he believed were divinely fabricated men, as miracles to provide Schreber with "play-with-humans" in light of a depopulation of the world.[13]
>As his psychosis progressed, he believed that God was turning him into a woman, sending rays down to enact 'miracles' upon him, including little men to torture him. Schreber was released from psychiatric hospitals around 1902, shortly before the publication of his book

Our response?

>>40122210
i will never look anything like the right picrel, the third point is maybe the only thing i would give in for

>>40122210
pinkpills won't make me a catgirl

>>40122210
yeah a low quality jpg from like 2015 is totally going to make me believe I can become an anime cat girl

>>40122581
Even for the moat hopeless, HRT does improve your skin, it does kill your libido, and it may or may not improve your mental state. But yeah it also gives you HRTits lol.

>>40122620
i dont have a libido currently, skin would be nice i guess, the only thing i need is to start feeling emotions and not be a husk

>>40122210
Estrogen will make you fat though unless you're a twink

>>40122890
i've only been losing weight since i started estrogen

>>40122890
You'll have to east like a skinny girl to prevent your boymode becoming significantly worse.

>>40122916
Muscle down, fat up. What happens when all your muscle is eaten up? Metabolism will decrease and you'll get fat.

>>40122950
can always just eat less then

>>40122980
Skinny girls don't get anything done. They just lie around, take a few fit checks for their instagram, eat a bit of kimchi and drink some matcha. They have empty, slow minds, generally low energy. May sound nice, but not practical unless you can generate income from your looks in some way or another.

Ozempic is an option, but it's expensive and while it may decrease appetite, I don't think it would make you feel any more energetic if youre genuinely skinny and undernourished. Cardio could help, but you would need to become one of those super keen, running everyday types, but that won't last either as your knees will wear out or you'll get some other repetitive strain after the age of 25

Just eat one meal a day, once you do it for a couple of weeks your body adapts. I've been doing this for years, I no longer get any hunger signals from my body until around 7pm when I have my one meal a day.

>>40123104
that's actually really bad for your long-term cardiovascular and metabolic health, and it's an easy pattern to fall into for the 9-5 workers

take better care of yourself AND take your HRT, retard

>>40123104
this is what i did when i was in college and i lost around 40 pounds doing it

>>40123166
i love you so much mtf butch take your hrt retards.

>>40123166
Interesting, could you elaborate please

>>40123104
I think I've ruined my ability to fast after doing a 30 day water fast with only two days break in that period. I lost a lot of muscle and felt like I had an un-fillable hole in my stomach for months after

>>40123180
idk I read some study that it's associated with increased risk of death and worse gut motility or absorption or something related to blood sugar spikes and cholesterol, I think it can have some metabolic benefits short term and help you burn up some extra fat easily but you don't want to do it by default

fact check me

>>40094817
>*courage voice* the things i do for love

How do I deal with being 6'3 with wide shoulders and a masculine jawline with a big skull?
What am I even supposed to do about this
I can't an hero because it'd make my mom sad
Could somebody at least prove that an afterlife exists so I know I can be reincarnated as a girl after taking all this karmic punishment
I'm just gonna thug this shit out and bummaxx, have scruffy facial hair and pretend I don't care

>>40123104
>I no longer get any hunger signals
i did that and lost forty pounds in a month. don't recommend

>>40094817
two reppers having gay sex and each heavily dissociating imagining themselves as an outside observer fujoing out at the two gay boys

>dressed up and enjoying what will almost certainly be my last cd / agp session before my 30th birthday and I officially become a creepy susan's palace sissy
time fucking flies

>>40123404
based, might try this but i refuse to top

what did i do to deserve this

I frequent femrepgen more often because I would like to feel good about being make and gain confidence and begin to like it. Especially since I detrooned so I know what it would be like and why its not for me

>>40107788
There's nothing more free in this world than being a man

>>40124387
It does make me realize how shitty being a woman and being feminine is.

>>40124387
*being male

>>40124870
I honestly can't feel good about being a male or a female.

If I try to be more "femalebrained", then I'm still repressing my true beliefs and my honest self and the things I'm into.

>>40117752
I still sometimes really wish I had some desu, but yeah it would be hard to hide. I had a dream a while ago where I looked the exact same except softer and with breasts and it felt extremely comfy, would probably be more stressful irl though.

Is detrans discussion allowed here? Im thinking about going back into the closet despite making a lot of progress on hormones because the damage transitioning has done to most of my social relationships is causing too much pain. I want to be numb again, but Im worried that instead of getting numbness back, I'll just become even more depressed.

>>40123313
I'm in a similar situation, it's agonizing.
I absolutely cannot tolerate having facial hair though, I pluck almost every morning (1pm).

>>40089190 (OP)
when will the sky show its stars again? Must we live without the love of another? why must we seek the acceptance of those who seek to harm us?

I'm dying and I can only hear my own voice.

God help humanity.

>>40125244
No. Please don't become like us if you have the choice to not. I'll really resent you if you do, and my anonymous opinion is worth way more than that of whatever retarded normie faggots you want to suck up to.
The numbness is you slowly turning into a soulless husk, it's not a good thing. Just drink a bunch if you want to feel numb temporarily, it only destroys less important things like your organs.

>>40125290
The "normie faggots I want to suck up to" are my spouse and kids who rely on me to survive. I have to live with my spouse every day - who despite attestations of loving me no matter what, hasn't touched me in the years since I started transitioning. Not even a real kiss. We're still together cuz I need the kids to be okay, and the loneliness of existing in my own home is tearing my heart apart. I cant handle it - Im going to die at this pace. Transitioning was a mistake - I feel more like myself, but "myself" is not compatible with the life I built before transitioning.

>>40117752
this is why i detransed and it fucking sucks because i want to look feminine but it feels ridiculous because i dont want to be a man with tits i want to wear shirts and so on and not look like a massive freak

>>40123958
i remember being a 15 year old gayboy crossdresser with an emo haircut pretending to be a girl on omegle like it was yesterday

now im an old man who cant wear dresses because its too shameful and my nipples are puffy please god just let me die

>>40125378
you're funny. No one is looking at you and thinking "holy shit what a fucking freak of nature this faggot is". most people don't care, and even if they do fuck em.

Life's not meant to be spent worrying about NPCs who would hate you regardless.

>>40125357
oh shit nvm you already fucked up big time, "social relationships" made me think that you were talking about your old friends from highschool or something.
I seriously doubt that you could ever get your relationship back to what it was like before regardless of what you do, it might be best for both of you to separate romantically. I'm an ethical repper who has always avoided sex/romance entirely though so I'm just speculating with zero personal experience to back it up.

>>40125408
sure i get that but the npcs in question are my own family and besides that, its just uncomfortable. if i looked like a woman then sure, but im some cross gendered hybrid and i feel aesthetically ugly to myself. i guess i just try to own it but i do fantasize too much about some other reality where i was born a perfect twink and then never aged so i dont have to bear the responsibility of spending my life trying to somehow fix my appearance when so much of it cannot be altered

I’m sorry you all feel such pain. I wish i could help you. I will say a prayer for all reppers and those who suffer dysphoria tonight

>>40125448
and I shall join.

>>40125405
It's very depressing that I don't even have fun memories like this to look back on. I do try to cut my retarded child self some slack because his brain was getting fried by ssris and intense Catholic guilt the whole time, but I wish he at least could have been brave enough to do a little bit more than just read Ranma 1/2 alone in the school library every lunchtime. My window of opportunity shut pretty early though. Now I'm a hideous giant hulking 22yo man with nothing to show for it but regrets. The only reason I'm even still alive is because I don't want to hurt my family, I have no possible future that I want to live for.

why does the world keep getting worse and scarier

>>40125610
yaldabaoth got bored again

>>40125572
>22 yo man
You are barely an adult. You are SO young. Don’t give up anon.

>>40125427
I repped so hard that I pretty much dissociated large parts of my memory away in order to hide from my transness for nearly a decade. I was so thoroughly convinced of being totally cis that I was jarred by my mother recounting all of the signs she had seen - from me crossdressing in high school to pretty regularly for my entire childhood insisting I was supposed to be a girl. I dove into the closet because I had no support and was scared and fucked myself so bad.
I dont think my relationship will ever go back to the way it was. In fact, I know it won't. Its dead. But I cant feel this pain. Its killing me - my rifle looks more tasty every day. I need to be numb.
I cant separate from them, either. I wont survive the separation and... neither will they. My kids would lose both of their parents if I broke it off. I dont want to hurt them but I dont want to live with my heart rotting from the inside out. Or, at least, I dont want to feel it. I need numbness.

This is going to sound really weird, but I became very autistic for things like chemical processes and especially the facilities they occur in, and it was my manly "better living through chemistry phase!" that kept the tranny thoughts away, gotta love food processing petroleum and nuclear power plants. I still like that stuff but now I just feel like a robot, I literally turned a decent chunk of my imagination over to things with no goddamn soul. Ever since I allowed the tranny thoughts to flourish I've been into rockets again which is a nice feeling, when I imagined a space commander as a teenager it was always a woman.

>>40125610
like 95% of people are, by default, unimaginably cruel and there's simply no reason to mask it anymore

>>40125730
That's not true, most people don't care enough to be cruel. The problem is that means they don't care to stop the cruel ones.

>>40125671
I think your kids would rather have divorce dad living away they see on weekends than dead dad, you shouldn't kill yourself if you have to escape.

>>40125743
yeah no, i really doubt that most people aren't cruel
maybe saying 95% was an overstatement, but the majority of people, in my experience at least, go out of their ways to make others' lives worse

Im running on emptyy JEW REVIEW!

>>40125854
Im "Mom". The kids have only ever known me as "Mom".
It wont be that way. They have made it very very very clear that if the relationship fails, they'll kill themselves. And I cant survive the kids on my own. Id break in under a week without another adult supporting me.

I'm kinda tired of this, I was a normal kid but the more I live the more disassociated from the man gender I become, it's like we're no cut from the same cloth. I look at them and literally don't understand how they operste and what's in their head, whether they're gay or straight. I had such thoughts during puberty too but it wasn't that grave and serious or at least I think I was more "grounded" then.
Being a bottom with a micro and wide hips also doesn't help, I look like this while they look like THAT? Like, I know I am the third child and mothers bodies' allegedly leave an bigger impact on every consecutive child they make but damn mom why tf did you have to make me this way? Yeah I'm not the most brittle or weak but all the secondary (and one primary) sex characteristics point out that it is not a traditional male. I know it shouldn't be a big deal but ultimately the corporeal affects the mental at the end of the day.
Anyway, just came to ask if trooning out will be possible at 25 and will I make a nicely looking girl if I start my HRT now? Do I have to anamaxx and get rid of all bigger muscles first or can I keep it to some extent? What about weight, will I balloon up at first or can I both lose weight and transition at the same time?

>>40125881
I don't know your situation, but that suicide threat may be manipulative, so keep that in mind. Is there an incentive to keep you around?

>>40125671
what about some sort of co-parenting thing that lets you stay together as extremely close friends/partners who are a big part of each other's lives while also letting both of you slowly grow in your own directions? that's kinda what my aunt and her codependent ex-husband did and their kids turned out a lot better than I did
the numbness really doesn't hit the same when you're repping consciously imo, it's way worse now that I know what's wrong with me
>>40125881
their mom detrooning into a emotionless husk man would probably be pretty traumatic desu

>>40125923
>mothers bodies' allegedly leave an bigger impact on every consecutive child they make
Never heard of that before, I'm a middle child but I'm the only genderfucked one, the rest are all normal.

>>40125923
ayo what do you feel as a genderfucker? I never allowed myself to really question what was wrong with me until recently, I've mostly been contemplating if I may be mtf tranny but idk some things about women I don't like either,

>>40125924
Theyre an autistic neet who doesnt know how to work or drive or anything. I fell in love with them in college when the structured environment made them look like the hardest working most intelligent person in the world. As soon as we left college they fell apart, and once the kids came along, the kids were always an excuse for them to keep doing the stay at home life. On top of that, I make around ~$150k/yr right now. Their quality of life would plummet without me.
Im convinced they think they still love me, but it isnt shown at all in any tangible way.
The threat is manipulation, but ive snatched a weapon from their hand the last time I even suggested the relationship had gone sour.
>>40125933
Im not confident that suggesting such a thing would just have them blow their own brains out overnight. It sounds ideal, but id still end up lonely in my own home with a neet who relies on me for everything. I wish I had seen the flags sooner, but alas.

>>40125657
with my genetics it doesn't matter, I'm already a hairy hulking 6'2 monstrosity
I already gave up on any hope of ever being able to transition like 5 years ago because I knew it was already too late by that point, I was just hoping that by now I would have grown out of this or found fulfillment in one of my copes. It didn't happen.

>>40126000
Fair enough. Whatever is happening, stay strong, you are a good person for taking on such a horrible challenge.

>>QOTT
I consider myself creative. I write, although I"ve been on a dry streak lately. I'm sitting on a couple of projects, including a couple where I get some of my reppery out.
>>40089551
That sucks anon. I feel you. Are you doing anything to try and lift your creative block? or are you just riding it out?
>>40108520
I hate her so much. I lurk on r/translater sometimes looking for repfuel, and she has done so well it infuriates me. Fuck my loser repper life...
>>40116634
>Yiik we can!
kek
>>40125460
>>40125448
Bless you frens.
Think I'm caught up with the thread now.

>>40126000
maybe don't suggest it then, just ease into it. push her to make friends and hope she catches feeling for one of them or gets the inspiration to live for herself.
I know that money can't fix all your problems, but if you make that much you can probably afford some nice distractions to make your life more pleasant at least. My exuncle randomly bought a boat and whenever he got really depressed over the absolute state of his love life he would just take the kids kneeboarding on the lake or something, it seemed to improve his mental well-being quite a bit.

>>40125975
It's just a (pseudo)scientific theory stating that the more pregnancies the mother had (not sure if consecutive or not) the bigger there is a chance to carry out a homosexual child. Might be true, might be some population propaganda, whatever it is, something about pregnancy being a stressful experience for the body and the body trying to find a way to balance hormones, looking for a way to adapt better and affect fetus in it's state. I won't believe it firmly, there are families with only gay kid, where the last child is the only straight masc man, where all children are gay. Too many variables to be a firm axiom, and I also reached a bit and made it seem like it's about the estrogenification.
>>40125999
I'm one of those enbies that only feel like they are neither or something else, I can't cope with the man label because I don't even look like a typical , let's just say masculine type of guy, and I have softer features that don't go into fem territory and is assumed to be a girl from the back (which made me feel neutral since people are blind and don't see shit even if it's in their faces) but I'm obviously not a woman yet. I feel like uncharted territory inside, even tho I'm one of those non-binaries that present as their AAB genders. Maybe paint my nails or have an earring on and wear pinker colors but otherwise I'm like someone that wants to dabble into femboyism but never was interested in it. Total mess.

it's only 4am
I'm already out of alcohol
fuck my miserable repper life

>>40126165
1am on my coast, and I broke my not drinking streak, so I'm kinda with you.
What were you drinking? What are you up to tomorrow/later today?

>>40126173
lucky, if it were that early maybe I would try to make myself play a game or something
just like half of a bottle of wine and a couple big cans of Sapporo. I was gonna buy some tequila today but the liquor store closed before I could make myself stop being lazy and leave my house
I just need to wake up for a bit at like 9 to give my cat his medicine, after that I can just sleep and maybe try to make myself go for a walk in the woods or play a videogame or read a book or something. This whole week I've just worked at my part time job and haven't had the energy to do anything else really so I feel like I need to

>>40126173
>>40126252
actually no nvm fuck all that I'm gonna play a good CYOA instead, that's my goal for tomorrow

Want some refuel? Here's some repfuel. This person had a very cute gf and was doing a PhD pre transition

>>40126339
she passes from the nose up
this is ropefuel more than anything

>>40126339
still looks kind of cute in picture 2, clearly a tranny but not really in a disgusting way since its mostly just the jaw they can't do much about without ffs

I feel sorry for your blindness.

>>40126339
the real lesson is use estrogen but stay in manmode

>>40126412
also never fucking smile, it makes you look like shit and a man

>>40125405
yeah, i miss the omegle days
ppl actually wanted to see me nude
now ppl ignore me and omegle's dead

>>40126417
not true at all
xe looks pretty cute on the left
most of you sluttas look less creepy (not more) when you smile a little, i promise

>>40126412
Even better, use hrt and get FFS and stay in manmode

>>40126429
I think they meant showing teeth

>>40126339
And what happened after?

>>40126429
smiling is like the clockiest shit ever, esp. if you're on the spectrum like most of the people on this gen

>>40126527
She got better after taking more hormones, became a cute girl and found a boyfriend

>>40126339
Looks fine? Mogs me by a lot.

>>40126527
AGP hon. Regarding academics... I don't know, but imagine trying to sit down and write papers when you have so much gooning material to make real.

>>40126417
opposite for me, when i smile i look cute, when i dont smile i look like a rapist

>>40126339
thats great but im already dysfunctional i havent completed high school and i will never have a gf/bf

>>40126528
Smiling is very femcoded actually.

Guys I'm starting to think it's not dysphoria I'm just lonely with rock bottom self esteem. All I see is cute girls getting attention all the time and I want to be that instead of an invisible incel. I just want someone to love me.

It's probably also mild AGP as well

>>40127000
I actively avoid all the people that give me attention because I hate being perceived and admired for my masculine characteristics.

>>40127015
Yeah me too. I have a job but outside that I interact with people as little as possible. No friends either. I guess I would actually hate the attention if I actually got it. Maybe I just feel like I'm missing out because media hypes sex and love up as the most important things in life. Maybe I should just be content enjoying my alone time playing video games and leave the rest to fantasy.

>>40127032
Sex was very unpleasant for me. But then again, I hadn't admitted to myself that I'm androphilic at that point.

>>40127043
Honestly sex (as a male at least) isn't really appealing to me but more what comes with it. I want some physical intimacy, cuddles, some touching. It's kind of fucked that I'm 36 and I haven't had any of that but maybe I'm just a fucking dogshit human being and I don't deserve it. Clearly I've done something wrong.

i hate browsing this fucking board
bunch of 19 year olds who don't know how good they have it doomposting about retarded shit that doesn't matter.

>>40127151
i still have it terribly and i will never get to transition or pass shut uppp

>When a "repper" under the age of 30 is speaking

>>40127224
i will be a 30 year old repper in 5 years so i still count.

>>40127000
But who do you want attention *as* is the question? Who do you want people to love you as? Would you still want love and attention as an ugly fat old man?

I wish a guy would adopt me and feminize me.

>>40127283
Honestly the compulsion to transition does become less urgent once you hit 30 because you realise you've missed the best years of being a girl. The feeling is still unrelenting and pervasive, but less of an urgent need. For many people, the need to people please decreases with age which is why some still transition.

The only way it's worth it

>>40127346
99% of my fantasies are me as a young women, being in a relationship with another young woman. It will never be so I just immerse myself in escapist media and rot waiting to die.

>>40127828
Damn the 5 month photo looks way better than the 49 month photo. Crashed into a brick wall at high speed.

>>40128077
>Pedo-agp comorbidity.
29 months is best

Honestly whats the point of transitioning if you'll just be ugly in a few years anyway.

I finally finished KCD2 and after 130 hours of men hitting each other with sticks I need some AGPfuel asap

>>40127735
I think one has just built up more things as a man--friendships, family, work, education--that trooning becomes a trickier or more daunting task.
Like the anon earlier who said trooning out was good for them personally but awful for the life they'd constructed as a man.
One becomes like an ex addict, who has to cut off all traces of their previous life to make a clean break. Which is scary as one gets older and had less time to make new connections.
>t. pathetic mid-30s repper

new thread
>>40128719
>>40128719
>>40128719

>>40125252
I'm a pussy who can't handle pain, plucking my face is kind of unbearable