>>40093048
bc i push ppl away and get emotional dysregulated or close off idk tho im not like mean idk im a lot to handle probably like a burden and go through long phases of just being plan not enjoyable to be around. i’ve also like blocked ppl bc being knowns embarrassing and i feel i burden others so i want to cut it off there and reforming after that is hard. idk my life is falling apart anyways and yeah i have a lot of abuse as a child but ive consistently made bad choices and i was supposed to have a surgery that i can’t shut up about that fell through and i have done nothing but make the situation surrounding it and my life sense worse and im trying to get help for it rn and therapists keep saying im beyond helpable for them and pass me further down the idk ptsd specialization latter it sucks