Exclusive androphiles MtFs, to what extent did feeling inadequate as a man and/or being a bottom play into your decision to transition? How about internalized homophobia?

>>40133737 (OP)
>to what extent did feeling inadequate as a man and/or being a bottom play into your decision to transition?
0, it was all severe gender dysphoria
>How about internalized homophobia?
0, see above.

>>40133737 (OP)
maybe 5%
dysphoria was the reason for transitioning but the fact is wasnt really gonna make it as a man anyway slightly tipped the scales further

almost 100% I had crushes on boys in middle school, also consumed porn in a very agp way basically as soon as i began puberty, on top of that i was way too emotionally needy with girls and it always icked them out so I had no luck dating them at all. I would often hook up with gross older men to play out doujinshi fantasies as a substitute and cope for not being able to get with girls. Eventually I did have a little success and had one female sexual partner for a little while whom I did top, but not before getting statutorily raped by a handful of gross old men. Repressed from about 15 years old, ended up cracking because I didn't want twink death. Now im exclusively into cis men and would never consider being with women, much happier and more comfortable being with men and also my taste in men significantly improved to where I like much nicer guys who take good care of me and care about me and make me feel happy. Thank god

>>40133737 (OP)
I didn't fit my ideal of masculinity, call me AAP but If I was 6ft and had sharp features I would've stayed a man because I find that really arousing.
But I'm 5'2, I had long hair and a soft face, my build was skinny, I kept getting mistaken for a girl in highschool and it really had an effect on me, I tried being a man, I thought my gender would just make sense if I waited long enough, I almost tried to transition at 16 because my feelings of not being a man were so strong and I didn't really fit in with other men and they'd be uncomfortable around me, I held off because maybe my masculinity would kick in past 18, and I'd finally feel like a man, but the most I ever felt like even in adulthood was at best a little boy and at worst a weird teen girl, I finally came to the realisation that if I was to really reach my potential as an adult I would have to transition to being a woman, doing so I finally felt like an adult, and women and men responded to me better, I felt more confident in my body, and I feel ive really taken to my maternal instincts.

>>40133924

How do you know your answer isn't affected by extreme taboo within the community? People who transition because "they were going to kill themselves" are seen as worthy of love and compassion. People who transition jusy because it's sexualy gratifying are seen as an abomination, setting back LGBT rights and even stereotyped as ugly, old, and nonpassing. They are denied any grace or any perception of innocence.

I'm not saying dysphoria isn't real but this isn't really a discussion that can even be had freely in the community.

>>40134761
>I'm not saying dysphoria isn't real but this isn't really a discussion that can even be had freely in the community.
Literally every other reply ITT is freely discussing these things lol

>>40133737 (OP)

>dysphoria

Relevant factor, but not decisisve. I began feeling severe gender dysphoria in early puberty. However I repressed it more and more as i got into my teens, believing it was my duty to force myself to be straight and breed. I'm give this 35%

>feeling inadequate as a man

I had a fairly Chardly physique and was faster and stronger than most, so no. GIWTWM though. 0%

>being a bottom

My near obsessive OCD fueled attachment to being the recpetive partner for anal intercourse was a huge factor in my transition. I was shaving my legs and seeking older men as sexual parters, crossdressing, and making outfits for myself at a young age. Bottoming along with AGP TG fantasies dominated my sexuality and were constantly threatening to melt my brain. I tried hard to repress them but never could. This is cringe but: i had an almost spiritual attachment to the feminizing affect of anal sex, the prostate, and injesting semen. It is fair to say that sexuality defined my identity. I'd give this one 55%

>internalized homophobia

I never liked the idea of being gay. I tried to like it, I tried to be gay at times, but it just didn't fit. I resented gay culture, gay fashion, and didn't get anything out of a gay lifestyle. Gay masculinity always triggered my dysphoria because it felt like a death trap. I saw gender and sex as highly binary so I never considered being aN "HRT femboy" either. I'd give this factor maybe 15%... but we're being generous since a lot of this was probably dysphoria related (i.e. thinking gay men had to have facial hair, accept testosterone poisoning, etc)

>>40134775

Well that's true-- seems to be mostly something that only happens in an anonymous environment though. I think these factors are kind of heavily up to interpretation anyway. You can say "i can't enjoy sex as a man because it makes me dysphoric" = dysphoria as reason for transitioning or you can say "I only would want to have sex if I was seen as a wlman and had a female body" = sexual reason. It's just a matter of framing and emphasis really.

I never felt inadequate as a man because I didn’t feel like a man.

>>40134853
Sure, but here we have an anonymous environment. Some people are saying they felt inadequate as men, but others say they really just felt like women. Seems like the simplest solution is to just believe them all and accept that they may have had different life experiences.

>>40134859

This is a lowkey interesting point and resonates with me. I always saw women as inherently superior. I never idolized men or wanted to play sports or be like them, and i never had an incel misogynist phase either, so there wasn't much room to feel inadequate *as a male*