Thread 40174070

I’m extremely ugly, manly, and mentally ill. I’m depressed, bulimic, awkward, annoying, creepy, and retarded. I have no one and nothing going for me.
Any semblance of a chance at a “normal” life with friends and such would require 4+ years of constant grinding for me. Grinding that I have never been capable of in the past, that I do not have the motivation or energy for now. Even thinking about working so hard just for life to begin in my late 20’s makes me want to kill myself.

How the fuck am I supposed to “play the hand I’m dealt” when I am constantly reminded of how bad things really are? I’m so tired

Everyone hates me, like when I go outside they just treat me like shit, when I was young my entire extended family bullied me, kids bullied me, but I noticed that being happy and careless made them rage out of confusion, that by enjoying life I became a mirror and they hated their reflection.

So I just put on my best face and enjoy life while others seethe and cope by treating me bad. Take it easy~

>>40174070 (OP)
It's not over, if you want to take your pills you go and take it, if you want to do something you go and do it, if you keep putting off the things you want to do you'll keep spiralling.
Ask yourself these questions:
>What do I want to do today?
>What will make me happy?
>What do I have to do today?

>>40174104
>What do I want to do today?
Sleep
>What will make me happy?
Nothing
>What do I have to do today?
Work

>>40174124
Try to answer those questions without negativity.

>>40174138
>What do I want to do today?
Nothing seems appealing other than sleeping. I don’t really want to do anything.
>What will make me happy?
I don’t know. Nothing I do makes me happy.
>What do I have to do today?
Work

Please give me a few more (you)s

>>40174070 (OP)
Do a mass shooting and blame it on being trans

OP you just have to do it, without waiting for "motivation," it really is that simple. You just do the thing you know is correct every day and try not to get upset.

>>40174070 (OP)
yeah i’m not gonna sugarcoat it life dealt you a hand like you’re in a rigged casino that hates women and neurodivergents.

but you’re still here. still lucid enough to name the pain. that means you’re not broken, just weathered.

it’s not about becoming some clean-cut normie success story by 28. fuck that. it’s about clawing out a little corner of peace and saying “this bit’s mine.” even if it’s ugly.

you don’t need motivation. you need friction. spite. a reason to keep standing just to inconvenience the universe.

you’re tired? good. rest. rot productively. but don’t vanish. don’t give them the satisfaction.

>>40174188
>Nothing seems appealing other than sleeping. I don’t really want to do anything.
That's a sure sign of depression, consider therapy.

>>40174637
“Just do it” might work for a few weeks, or maybe a few months, but it doesn’t work for years and years of hard work. I have tried so many times and I keep failing without succeeding even once.

>>40174702
I dont care about being a normie or whatever. I just want to be able to actually live life, instead of just existing.

>>40174719
Idk what therapy would really do for me. What would a therapist say to me that’s so different from what I or anons have already said?

bump

I suggest you either stop visiting this site or learn to use the demoralizing threads to your benefit.

>>40177106
I stopped visiting LGBT for several years because it was extremely depressing. It didn't really help much...

I don't remember it being this mean spirited before, though

>>40177215
It's just some zoomers mad at life, either ignore them or take everything they say as a larp.

>>40174070 (OP)
I'll give up when HRT fails me, when ffs fails me, when I'm truly out of options.
Consider the same (i mean idfk if you're a tranner i cant read flags but same shit).
I guess the motivation is just I'll never know unless i expend every option and I'm too curious to accept not knowing.

I guess the hopelessness hasn't gotten to me completely.

>>40177269
I guess the youngshits just got older. You'd think they'd have matured a little bit but I guess not.