wish i transitioned years ago. everything about it would’ve been amazing—the softness, having tits, the clarity in my head. i want that so bad. but the thought of my dick shrinking or losing function? that’s actual dysphoria for me. not cope, not fetish shit, actual suicidal dysphoria. and that’s what fucks me. i’m stuck in this stasis—too scared to lose my cock, too sad to stay like this. i’m so fucking lonely too. sometimes i just wish i had a partner who’d force fem me, gaslight me through the fear, just take over and make me stop caring and start changing. but i don’t. it’s just me, trapped, rotting, watching time pass. i want to be a cute alt gothy trans girl so bad, but i can’t lose this last piece of myself. and i hate that it’s the thing keeping me from ever starting.

>>40178669 (OP)
Use testosterone cream on your cock

>>40178669 (OP)
yeah same, since i was 12 i just wanted to look like a cute girl and instead aged into a depressed man, and because i cannot be happy as what i am i can never have a relationship or friends, everything feels hollow. but what does it matter if i take hrt now? id just grow boobs and my dick would stop working and ill still look like a man. nobody will love me or want to be around me. and the chud answer to this is to just give up and accept it but i cant do it. its like my soul is no longer in my body

>>40178669 (OP)
just do low dose t gel on your dick once per week retard we solved this like at least 6 years ago

>>40178669 (OP)
>actual dysphoria
as opposed to what? fake dysphoria? the dysphoria you feel about not having soft skin and tits? it sounds like you gave yourself gender dysphoria about being a man so idk what you can do but if i were you id literally just not take hrt. would make my life 5 million times easier

i've been on hrt for like 2.5 years and none of that shit happened to me. 0 t in my bloodwork. your dick will probably be fine, and even if it's not who cares

>>40178669 (OP)
you sound a lot like me a year and a half ago. i'm now over 12 months on hrt and my dick still works the same. granted, i don't tend to use it "like a guy" but it still functions.
as for your desire to have someone else force fem you/gaslight you through your fears, i used to have those exact same feelings before starting hormones. i know how nice it would be to have some outside force kickstart your transition, but sadly this is one thing that has to come from you

>>40178706
Will Look into T Cream yea thanks i hope it's like guaranteed can't just take a chance if my dick stopped worlding would be dysphoria hell

>>40178708
yeah same. wanted to be a cute girl since i was a kid. now i’m just stuck—too scared to lose my dick, too sad to stay like this. feels like i missed my chance and now i just rot.

>>40179165
i think about that too, like wishing someone would just force fem me so i don’t have to choose. but yeah… i know it has to come from me. still hurts.

>>40179535
ive never once heard t cream not working to keep size and functionality

>>40178669 (OP)
your mileage may vary, use it or lose it, and/or any other applicable aphorism
I lost a couple inches and it was completely worthwhile

>>40178669 (OP)
Genuinely should be the least of your concerns because of how easy it is to deal with OP. If you just jerk off consistently a few times a week your penis will not atrophy. Estrogen does not cause it to atrophy, its just the lack of constant, sustained erections. You won't get morning wood or random boners anymore so u need to replace it with some other way of getting an election.

Estrogen also does not kill your libido, it kills your MALE libido. It changes your sexual urges and the way you feel arousal. This doesn't per say make you more submissive or give you a preference for bottoming like some faggots on this board like to pretend, it just makes the urge to stimulate your dick much less overwhelming, and the feeling of horniness goes from being focused on just achieving orgasm to kinda just the pleasure of it. Cumming doesn't feel as good, and your cock is less sensitive tho, but definitely still feels nice to jerk off.

>>40179535
>i know it has to come from me. still hurts.
it does have to come from you, however it's not nearly as daunting as it seems. where you're at now is the hardest stage. starting hormones felt like a leap of faith to me in the beginning, however i'm so glad that i took that chance on myself looking back. i still boymode, but now existing in my body feels more comfortable and looking at my reflection no longer causes immediate panic

>>40178669 (OP)
its weird that i dont really want tits or to lose my dick at all but i want to be feminine in every way

fuck my stupid retarded brain

>>40179669
i’m getting emotional realizing it might be possible. i’ve been stuck for so long thinking i’d lose everything if i took E, but it sounds like if i just fap at least twice a week and use some T or DHT cream on my cock, i can stay functional. i think i’m just gonna do it. start estradiol valerate and stick with it. i’ll try to find a vendor and diy the T cream since the health service here is useless. i just can’t leave it to chance anymore. i wanna feel soft. i wanna live.

>>40179879
please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon please dont be a rapehon

>>40179895
I'm cute and white and early 20s so prolly not?

>>40179895
>its a rapehon

>>40178669 (OP)
God didnt
Want you to troon is so obvious

>>40178822

3.5 years here... um atrophy can sneak up on you. Especially if you bottom... and especially if you get an orchi. Idk if this is TMI but I recently developed pretty severe ED and all the shrinkage seems to have hit at once after 3 years. It's been a big change to say the least, and despite how weird it is i am not sure i would have ever wanted to use T gel... it does raise serum testosterone levels and androgenize your genitals.

>>40179669

Medically speaking this is not true. High serum levels of testosterone are necessary to preserve the nitric oxide signalling mechanism, and high estrogen in the blood leads to the formation of collagen in the erectile tissue, and will cause fibrosis of the shaft skin and gradual smoth muscle reduction within the penis. Stimulating it will oxygenate the tissues and stave off a total collapse of function in the near term, but in the long term your brain will inevitably unlink arousal from erections. You will then have baseline difficulty achieving and maintaining erections due to testosterone dependant neurochemical signalling mechanisms. This is a seperate and more fundamental cause of ED than what estrogen is doing to your Dissonance tissue on a daily basis.

In the long term, castrate levels of testosterone will lead to a collapse in erectile function, eventual shrinkage of the penis to pre pubescent levels, along with keratinization, fibrosis, thickening outer sheathe, followed by decline of the venous system needed to maintain erections.

You can Stall this process but you can't halt it, it's inevitable hormonal aging that occurs when you replace T with E permanently. If you want to top long term, start fitting yourself for a strap-on

>>40181156

>dissonance tissue

Meant to say penis tissue

>>40181156
suifuel i wanna keep my cock t: disgusting t4c loving transbian

so far no atrophy but i've only been on E for a year

>>40181260
Ive kept function after 10 years w no extra work so its possible

>>40181266
do you use t gel or just jork it?

>>40181260

Well, what porn actresses have done historically is just cycle their HRT to try to regenerate their erectile function during periods they need to work.

But even with that extreme measure: estrogen exposure, long term, will contribute to erectile dysfunction due to the effect of hormonal aging. Just like hormonal aging and Testosterone reduction in cis men Causes gradual ED.

You can try to hold on to your dick function or you can re frame the natural process of female hormones and aging on estrogen and reframe how you see sex.

>>40181303
I just jork it im worried t gel would masculinize me somehow and also itd make tucking harder
I have lost size but i was never big to begin with

>>40181303
not that anon but very similar situation and i never had any issues even without t gel. i dont even really jork it much just get hard a few times a week randomly (not even on purpose it just happens)

>>40181309
>You can try to hold on to your dick function or you can re frame the natural process of female hormones and aging on estrogen and reframe how you see sex.
I think I'm gonna do both
>>40181327
>>40181329
yeah I don't wanna use t either for feat of masculinization, I think I'm just gonna keep using it and if it dies in old age anyway I'm just gonna deal with that but try to postpone it as much as I can with usage

>>40181327

I thought i was still functional too but then i ran some diagnostics and I actually have stage 3 ED (progressive erectile dysfunction) because:

>can only get fully hard when prone and supine,
>average period of tumescence has gone down to less than fewer than 30 seconds,
>unable to achieve hands free erection
>unable to achieve full erection while standing or sitting.

Meanwhile I've had 33% baseline reduction in hard and flaccid size which is standard as well as more than 50% reduction in rigidity. While on the surface it still seems to work, I've lost a ton of actual function that I didn't realize because it was gradual, and I have started more and more to be able to orgasm while flaccid which is usually how sexually active trans women seem to progress from the partial dysfunction stage to become totally dysfunctional.

Obviously avoiding bottoming might have slowed this down so that's worth considering. Use it or lose it generally applies.

>>40181370
So what youre saying is if someone locked up my cock for a few months it might never get hard again and no one should do that

>>40178669 (OP)
My dick works fine on HRT. Size loss is a psyop by bottoms that never use it or get off to it being smaller because they secretly like the teasing. Also >>40178706 legit helps and will keep you hard and functional no matter how long you're on E.
t. HRT decadian top tranny in the prime of my sex life

>>40181156
This is a bigger load of shit than the WPATH guidelines.

>>40181410
They're saying everything you've already been told but in medical jargon that obscures all the brainworm addled bullshit informing it. It's blanchardism but for your dick, ie. just some nonsense a hater cooked up to demoralize you from being a healthy and sexually active futa. Use it and you won't lose it, stay active and you won't have circulation issues cutting off bloodflow while you sit down, etc.

>>40181771

Honestly though, it's not, and desu I think lots of trans women are actually in denial and overstate the functionality of their dicks.

Based on studies of orchiectomy and erectile dysfunction in chis men, this stuff is pretty open and shut. And estrogen is not a hormone that facilitates penile health. And I know girls who do porn who have gone off HET to regain erections.

So I am inclined to believe the science and common sense of how endocrinology works rather than take anonymous honposts at face value. They might want to tell themselves and others they're working fine but im guessing it's like 4inches of fairly squishy "erection" that vanishes quickly and can't really be used for meaningful penetrative sex. I also have lots of anecdotal experience with trans women talking about this and those of them who want to actually top ha e always used viagra/cialis or gone off HRT which i personally can't imagine doing.

>>40181794

No, it isn't "blanchardism but for your dick" and I'm not a hater i bet I know much more about this than you. Lower clearly coping hard with something that is fairly well documented both in the community and medical sources

>>40181942
>believe the science
Which is why you post no sources or studies about anything lmao? All of it is hearsay and cis men don't replace their lost T with anything, which reduces libido, which reduces use, which reduces size over time. This is not hard to figire out, you just have an agenda.
>rather than take anonymous honposts at face value
Which is exactly what you expect others to do with your internet drool. Get real kid.

OP, you've been given all the advice that will actually be useful to you and you are free to stop by futagen whenever it's up to talk to us more about dick function. I'm done with this lying hon for today and gonna head out of the thread. Have fun with your new and old body parts when you grow them!