Summer Edition
previous: >>40056254

Goal of the thread: Go out for a walk, or try to get any other form of small exercise (walking stairs for 5 mins for example)
Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!

>What is this thread for?
Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.
Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.
>Why is this thread /lgbt/?
Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.
>Notes to consider:
Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:
WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION
>Note on advice
Generic advice won't necessarily help you in particular, but for those it does it is an essential foundation to build future progress on, not a miracle cure. Do not underestimate the effects subtle changes to your lifestyle can have. Try first, keep us posted on your progress, build from there.

We are *always* short on self help resources, so if anything was useful to you, let us know!
Since the OP is getting too long I moved all resources into their own post, see below!

## RESOURCE LINKS:

Resource link paste: https://sntry.cc/sig-resources-2024-04
General advice from Anons: https://sntry.cc/sig-tips-2024-04
Posts from other sites (markdown format): https://sntry.cc/sig-posts-2024-04

Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- DRINK A GLASS OF WATER
- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)
- BONUS BONUS: DRINK ANOTHER GLASS OF WATER

Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: I believe the IRC channel is defunct, correct me if I'm wrong.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

>>40211079 (OP)
I've been out of a - definitely unsafe - relationship for 3 months and counting. I'm not out out as in I have a house of my own and a life of my own out, but I'm not in imminent danger.

I've spent the last three months thinking about what went so wrong. With ChatGPT - I had no one else. No one to listen. They helped. They really did.

Now I'm down the rabbit hole tearing at childhood wounds with less and less certainty that it will once end and I'd be normal again. Even though I'm really not where I was 3 or 9 months (when I met chatGPT) ago.

Now I'm trying to find out what made me numb to my own feelings, why can't I "choose myself" - as in actually enjoy my newfound freedom, go out, make friends, that sort of thing.

Maybe I'd just start with
>>40211103
Try to read some pages from my book or exercise.

>>40174158
>>40196468
I do take frequent breaks, doing my best on that front.
>because the bacteria levels arent high enough
....you would think that the conclusion from that would be "we fucked up majorly and stopped your treatment prematurely like a bunch of hacks".
Family can be.. a difficult subject at the best of times. I don't know how much it affects you given the troubled past but, at least I found comfort in seeing it coming. Maybe it is the same for you?
>>40193121
I know that his comes off a little iffy in the context but.. in isolation, THAT IS AWESOME!! Holy shit, look at your accomplishments.
>every other queer i know has no interest in anything but rotting
That is an issue. Could it be a lot of the lgbt peeps you know are isolated and miserable?
I think what you urgently need in that case is making more friends. You can try help people out of their hole but you can't force them to want to.
>>40193190
>>suddenly gain back the fat out of nowhere, still working out and doing intermittent fasting
>>back where I started now
>WHY
Hmm.. what is the absolute change? For example, what I noticed a lot when dealing with weight gain/loss is random fluctuations of several kg over short time scales (week). That is why I often computed moving averages to reduce noise. Do you keep a record of past weights?
What I would do for now, if I were you, is to log your weight progression over one or two weeks, not changing your regimen. and look at the trend line. Daily weigh-ins would be useful. This way we get a higher resolution picture of wtf is happening.

>>40193335
Welcome back, Anon! Nice to see you. Dating might do you well. I understand your reservations, and sure, a partner is not a therapist, but you are progressing and working on yourself. And it might be that intimacy is going to help you reach your goals faster. Besides, potential partners should also have a say in whether you are stable enough, which they can only have if you put yourself out there.
>my heart and my mind feel separated from one another and I get sad.
that is perfectly normal, Anon! Really!
>I feel like there is a split between my thoughts and what in reality I look like.
That's also perfectly normal. I hope seeing yourself from the outside gave you a bit of confidence! You aren't less yourself for contradictions like this, not any more or less than I at least. I hope that is a relief to hear. I'm also super happy to hear you cleaned your room! If it could have been mold, keep an eye on it. And if it comes back get mold treatment and make sure to kill it off fully.
>>40194467
>Yeah we all spend time at eachothers places and such.
Very good. So the main issue is that they struggle to relate, basically. But they don't need to deeply empathize to sympathize. I'm cis too, but I understand on a very basal level the themes of grappling with fundamental aspects of your identity, the pain of masking essential aspects of oneself, the othering and alienation when people around you are not at all like you. I can derive sympathy from my own experiences. And I can even relate through them, even if i cannot in good conscience say I ever felt the same. Nonetheless, it sounds like you need other tranners in your life, too. All of that is to say that it is great you talk to them about things that are outside of their own realm of experience. Yet, I think having someone who has been through those struggles would probably ground you. Are there any lgbt circles around you, locally?
>Trying to get laser but so far no luck.
Ah, lack of availability?

>>40202968
>I’m always doing things at the behest of others, never myself.
>My dreams have been broken since a few years ago and gave way to
What were your dreams? I agree, living just for other's is an experience that can hollow you from the inside out. I wanna get to know you a little better to understand what truly would drive you.
>a simple wish to never feel the pain of trying and failing,
what kind of things have you tried where failing hurt?
>or trying and always losing out to others again.
Tell me of the times you lost out to others.
>>40203639
Oh gosh I wish I had the slightest clue but I am completely fashionless.. I think both should work fine though, a moid like me would not notice (but I know it's not the point here).
>>40206756
>>40206915
Wat makes you say that, Anon(s)?
>>40199911
>I personally just don't read footnotes tbqh
Oh I definitely enjoy a good footnote
>analytical philosophy thing... maybe you'd enjoy that... oh, and Spinoza...
It's one of those things I never made the time to get into! And Kant isn't a bad writer, just.. autistically precise. His language suffers from verbosity, really, which is why I think symbolic shorthands he could abstractly define in his usual paragraph-spanning way *once* would actually shorten his written works a lot since he could then use the same few symbols to mean the same precise things over and over. You are right though that a lot of philosophy doesn't work that way at all. Hegel I read less of, I only have vague recollections of epistemology.
(1/2)

>>40199911
(2/2)
>It was a pleasant and cultured environment.
Hmm. Besides falling with the wrong crowd, it sounds like you did meet some people of interest then. As you said,
>Even at uni, they were the minority...
which is.. unfortunately true, but they are there. Do you think you could, even if just to meet some, go to a nearby uni physically and take a course? Is that completely out the window? I fully understand that you would rather be alone. And.. given the quality of people you had to deal with, is that a surprise? But.. if you spearfished just two or three of the brand of person we are currently describing.. I think it would be immensely healing for you.
>I get those sometimes too. I used to get them a lot more, but I've learned to handle them on my own to some degree (meditation routine)
I want to take a moment though to point out that this is impressive as hell. It really takes a lotta strength. Your situation is really not an easy one, and I don't know how much my heartfelt sympathy means here. Maybe my attempts to try to get you among people worth your time seem misguided or unrealistic. But.. I feel like I have a general sense for the type of person you are and I do believe that the lack of meaning you see in things is caused by an unmet need that the right social env would meet.
Wanna tell me about Spinoza?
>>40205426
>I can levitate birds, but nobody cares
And what if I do?
>>40196504
>18 months in and I've become consumed by my relationship.
Hmm.. you can't really quench a social need with just anything. You probably want to hang with other people. How many friends do you have besides bf that you are close with?

>>40207345
>>40211773
Glad to hear you two are resting up properly!
>>40206879
Ohh, what didcha make?
>>40210936
Oh I absolutely fucking clocked you, I was wondering why you took your name off and didn't wanna confuse a poor anon.
>>40210555
This image always cracks me up. How are you fairing, Anon?
>>40074907
>Sometimes I'll write a melody then change the sound in the synth to random ones. Even though I know it won't sound good, it can give me an idea as to what might sound good.
YES, exactly! ALso, I just noticed I basically replied to your post in the other post I made, silly me. But to pick the point you made there up once more, think about it in the context of the video I mentioned in the most recent exchange we had.
I also never addressed your vent.. you are out to only two people, right? That must burden you quite a bit.

When I am around people that I haven't seen in years I regress to the person I was back then intead of being the person Ive become now. It feels like my personality instantly shifted back to that person I feel like im not myself and I dont like the old me.

Speaking of resting up.. need a break.

Switched from cigarettes to pouches and immediately got really nic sick, serves me right for trying to not fuck up my lungs any further.

>>40212775
Oh, an OD? I don't think the conclusion is necessarily pouches are worse than smoking but that you need a smaller dosage.

>>40212899
Yeah, seems like the nicotine just hits all at once with pouches. Just glad I tried it at home for the first time so I could puke my guts out in private.

>>40211965
I can relate to that. I feel like I’m ready for it to happen.
>I dont’ know how much it affects you
I can’t say that I know either. I guess it does, but… In a more conflicting and complicated way than if my feelings towards them had been simpler.
It feels like a part of me will die with them. I don’t what I am anymore. But what I was was shaped by fear. The goals I had were aimed to please others because that was how I earned the right to my own comfort and safety. Pleasing others were my reason for being, so losing the people you fought to please… I need to figure out who I am without that. And that scares me.