QOTT: What colors do you paint your walls?
last thread: >>40184180

iwnbaw

>>40225750 (OP)
I don't decorate or customize my room or house at all, it seems pointless.

maybe if i pray hard enough this will go away

>>40225750 (OP)
what are some female coded hobbies i can get into to ease the dysphoria even a little bit? i've tried to get into yaoi and otome games but i'm too malebrained to find the guys attractive

>>40225843
cooking? Housemaking stuff?

Have you been told by strangers you give off weird vibes?

>>40226302
Yeah. And after getting to know me, people inevitably ask me if I'm gay or subtly imply it if they're the more polite type.

>>40226302
Yes, and I've been told I have feminine or gay vibes as well.

>>40226373
Same. One time a girl in high school I didn't know grabbed both of my hands out of nowhere and asked me
>um, are you gay?
my mind just kinda froze and I honestly didn't know what to answer. I wanted to say no obviously, but my mouth had already spoken
>I don't know, I don't think about that much...
she was like "ah ok" and then left. To this day I have no idea what she wanted.
It was possibly the only time a girl my age didn't seem cautious around me.
Others have also made fun of the way I sit, the way I move or the way I behave. I don't really have gayface though, so I dunno if that's all from fucky hormones in the womb or what

Im pretty convinced now that I'm hot as fuck as a guy and honestly that makes me feel good. Ive gone through a lot. A whole ass gender transition and detransition suicide attempt, but theres so much ive never experienced. My sexuality has changed to become bisexual and I have grown as a person both in respects to how I look at gender and how I am as a person but I have much more to grow. I think I'm pretty convinced that I'm a cis man. The dysphoria still pops up but a lot less now. But what's really changed is that I find some happiness as a man. I think maybe soon I'll be mostly done with trans things and I can move on to a bigger and brighter future.

>>40226767
Best of luck to you!

>>40226712
I got bullied for it mainly by my father and siblings desu, most unrelated people just accept a "no" or "ew I'm not a fag" and have a laugh, but I couldn't even catch a break for how I'd talk or the music on the radio at home.

>>40225803
same

>>40226302
no not really. I think I must give off pretty intense vibes because when I am feeling bad people sorta look like they want to keep to themselves, but when I am happy everyone around me is smiley and look happy to see and talk to me
>>40226346
>>40226373
>>40226712
thats very interesting anon wonder what exactly gives people that idea? do you have a sorta gay voice?

>>40226302
my own mum asked me if i was into guys numerous times
>>40226712
>Others have also made fun of the way I sit, the way I move or the way I behave
:( me too

>>40226800
Thank you anon

>>40225750 (OP)
I hate that my head just feels the wrong size constantly, very uncomfy.
even if I'm not looking at my reflection I can just feel it and it's awful. I want it to explode

>>40226834
>>40226712
>>40226346
why is this so common? my parents straight up don't believe me when i tell them i'm not gay, like straight up insist that i must be gay and that that's totally ok. i think it's just because i no visible interest in relationships, long hair and no facial hair

>>40226833
>do you have a sorta gay voice?
Not so much that, but I think it's the way I emote, stand, walk etc. I've been yelled at by the local fauna for 'walking' or 'acting like a bitch' before, it's been pointed out that I emote similarly to my grandmother, and I've personally notice that the way I stand, make facial expressions, and emote with my hands (when I do) are all subjectively kinda feminine.

>>40226833
>do you have a sorta gay voice?
Not that I can tell. It does sound mildly autistic though, like I'm using the minimal amount of movement to get my voice out.

>>40226834
>me too
It's a cruel world out there... it could've been worse for me though. I had an extremely obnoxious flamer in my school and he got most of the homophobic hatred instead

>>40226833
I think it's because I'm mostly asexual (classic repper), don't participate in "guy talk", struggling to hide my discomfort with sexual jokes, and yeah, I've come to realize I probably have some feminine mannerisms.

>>40226302
no but I can tell that I do because nobody I don't know ever tries to interact with me, normies seem to avoid going out of their way to talk to me.
I know that being a creepy hulking giant man with repper eyes that speaks robotically is scary to people so I don't blame them at all, actually I prefer being avoided because socializing with other people as me is very uncomfortable and forced.
>>40226346
>>40226373
it used to be like that when I was a kid but all the natural femininity I used to have died as I hit puberty and started turning into an emotionless husk

>>40226986
I've got very flat affect and space out a lot as well. Im also old and objectively a very large man. But I guess I still can't really control my body language.

>>40227047
I feel like I'm spaced out constantly

>>40226945
Nice Trish art

Also, it's over. I guess I'm just waiting for something to happen globally that'll change things. Maybe some kind of age of aquarius or third impact, I don't know. There's nothing anymore here, not this time, not this life. I wish all the other anons the best of luck, maybe in the next world it'll be okay.

what did i do to deserve this

>>40225750 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>40226302
never a total stranger but people who know me yea. how do you even fix something like that
>>40227874
no <3

>>40227874
>just grow visible conetits as a linebacker 6'3 man bro
>Just transition and look like a turbo-hon or manmode with tits your whole life so you can never have any kind of sexual or romantic encounter ever
Damn great advice bro

>>40227680
>Nice Trish art
Thank araki for that lol
Anyways, I do understand the want for a "happening". Something that actually changes society in a significant manner. For years I've fantasized about living in a post-apocalyptic world of some kind, because that way I'd be free of societal constraints and be able to just... live the way I want to.
Also, are you ok? As you're posting here I assume not, but the idea that there's nothing left to do here is pretty misguided. Sure, the world isn't nearly as good or amazing as people tell you it is, but I do think everyone can find some happy moments worth living for in even the shittiest of times.
Anything bothering you in specific?

>>40227936
Thanks for the response.
I can find okay or happy moments, but it's never really okay in general. It's kind of like dysphoria makes the baseline really low, so happy moments are just meh anyways. I've tried antidepressants (on welbutrin now) and in the past I tried DIY, neither helped since HRT doesn't actually make you pass or anything so I quit that.
I hope you're doing well trish-poster anyways, to answer your question I'm just aimlessly floating around until my parents die so I can an hero or maybe just become a full time alcholic.

>>40227956
Yeah, I can understand that. You feel happy, you laugh, but it never lasts. Do you think that's because you lack some sort of meaning in life? I mean sure, laughing with friends is cool, but when you're all alone, that's when the low baseline hits. Have you tried any new hobbies? Therapy? Anything that could help you get a sense of purpose in life?
I sincerely think purpose is the greatest fuel for the human soul. I've seen old men die VERY quickly when their passions are taken from them, it's like their spirit falls over and they never recover.
It doesn't have to be great or majestical or anything like that, just something you look forward to every single day. I'm so sorry this is so generic, but it's true.
Also pls dont ruin your liver being an alcoholic thats not fun at all, but also dont rope k thnx

>>40228038
I try hobbies yeah, reading/exercising/gaming/hiking, whatever. I've tried therapy to get on antidepressants for a psychiatrist referral, I suppose if I had infinite money and didn't need a job I'd try to become a philosophy expert or something. I think too much has been drained, keeping busy or having purpose just feels tiring.
Good luck on your end, anyways, hope you make it trish-poster

> we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys we are guys

shit. people, i'm actually kinda bi. and the funny part, you can hate yourself so hard and be so focused on that you literally can forget about your real past. do i hate myself less? no. but do i feel even more stupid? yes. a wonderful feeling. ok, i have reasons to say i'm an actual fag and not just a straight perv. but fuck this shit. i'll do the worst. of course.

it's stupid to think about that's all when you're ugly af, right? you know the feeling. it just doesn't matter if i am a fag, a tranny, cishet, whatever. i will not have a choice of my life partner, nobody cares. no need to explain why you look like this and date somebody who look like that. great.

>>40227934
>implying I'm gonna have any kind of sexual or romantic encounter ever regardless

please make it stop

I literally don't care about anything anymore
I could be diagnosed with terminal brain cancer tomorrow and feel relieved

Lmao you guys are so emotional its good to be an hrt twink

>>40228641
don't be mean

>>40228644
keep repping pussy

>>40228656
you're being mean again

why do you feel like you have to transition? why can't you just be a post-srs post-ffs gay man who goes by she/her?

>>40228774
giwtwm

>>40228774
please

I miss /agpgen/

>>40228968
nothing stopping you from making your own

wait i have to cope for the rest of my life

>>40228968
>I miss
No, you sir
Never forget thatl.

>>40225750 (OP)
Retarded QOTD
>>40226302
Yes, ever since I was a kid

Any other HRTrepers here, I’m upgrading to HRTreping myself but idk if it’s even worth the effort desu, iwnbaw

>>40229363
>Any other HRTrepers here,
Yeah me, on T though. Good luck anon, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

>>40229263
Okay, I just came. I don't care about that now. The truth is that I ruined my mental health forever because of my paraphilia. The dysphoria I felt afterwards is just a weird obsession with being a woman because I thought my life would be so much better if I had been. It's no different than the normies' desire to be rich, or prettier. It's not a relevant desire.

big fan of knowing that my life ended over a decade ago when i was nine and i've just been delaying the inevitable for no real reason this entire time

>>40225750 (OP)
>QOTT
I don't really bother with decoration. It just seems like hassle for no good reason, y'know? (Though, one of the walls in the bedroom is crumbling and has a big hole in it, so it's not like I could paint it if I tried.)
Hoping everyone here is... as okay as you can be. <3

i can't tell if i'm balding or if my hairline is naturally just this fucked
i have a big forehead but my hairline is flat

>>40229363
>>40229433
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lvTQHZev_QY

>>40225750 (OP)
My walls are blue but I’ve been collecting posters and art from my friends for years and I’ve almost completely covered all the paint
Picrel from a year ago

making jokes about transitioning
telling my friends i wish i were a girl

is a transgirl valid if she is not on HRT, but.. BUT, hear me out, she maintains a smooth face every day?

>>40232076
im sorry youre still a repper if you are not on hrt. if youre going out in fem fits then you are a crossie (still can be a repper tho!)

the iwnbaw emotions are hitting hard today

Losing motivation to transition when my life becomes interesting, busy and fulfilled.

>>40233493
I'm the opposite, I lose motivation to improve my life the more miserable it gets.

>>40233580
I think for me, coping is easier when the more active and busy social life I’m having. I have stuff to look forward to. During Covid, when there was nothing to look forward to, that’s when I was closest to coming out because I was lonely and (I probably didn’t realise it at the time but depressed)

>>40229433
Thanks
>>40229819
When did people starting calling HRTreping stolen valor, a year ago these threads would be full of them
>>40233010
Same

>>40233609
For me, when things are bad, I simply accept the idea that nothing will ever improve and it's impossible for things to get better. When I'm in a better mood I get that delusional hope that I can change my life.

>>40233665
I see. But I really wouldn’t be too harsh on yourself.

Do you guys take finasteride or medication to prevent hair loss

>>40234005
i prevent hair loss by naturally never producing t

i take it as a joke because it is already progressed far enough so that it will do nothing anymore

I’m Disgusting and disgusted with myself

who up having a nervous breakdown
>>40234005
I tried oral fin and it made me want to kill myself more than balding does, which is really saying something

>>40234005
Yes, the idea of being bald is the most miserable one I have ever experienced.

>>40234380
I genuinely would kill myself if I started going bald. I have been considering stopping hrt because I’m too ashamed of having breasts. But I think if I ever do stop hrt I would instantly get finasteride or something, even then I don’t know if it’s guaranteed to prevent hair loss

>>40234380
Occasionally, like at school but then I just go to my coping methods when I get back home. Just a few days ago, I almost burst out crying in public - had to stop myself due to shame. :(

>>40234508
I mean maybe you'll have a better reaction to fin/min than I did. not like I'm enjoying balding but it's also not the end of the world
>>40234579
yea I've just been having a real weird one today because the usual coping/distractions haven't helped and can't focus at all. thank god I wfh

>>40234675
>thank god I wfh
god i wish i wfh and didn't live with family so i could troon

>>40234675
> yea I've just been having a real weird one today because the usual coping/distractions haven't helped and can't focus at all. thank god I wfh

Yh I can kinda relate with the coping methods. But overall I find they get less effective over time. Also do you find a lot of the anxiety, stress, depression symptoms come from regret or just out of pure frustration of having GD?

>>40235051
> come from regret or just out of pure frustration of having GD?
I think it's more the isolation that's come from it if I had to guess, been thinking a lot lately about how it'd be nice to have a boyfriend I'm comfortable with and how that's just never going to happen
but like today in particular can't even pinpoint anything, just feel anxious and dizzy and haven't really been able to get it to stop

>>40225750 (OP)
i hang rugs on the wall
>>40234005
yes. I must save my donor hair for a transplant

>>40235129
That also comes from GD, (isolation). Sorry to hear that. I don’t know if this is because of GD, but I don’t have any female friends (I feel a bit isolated in that sense) and have no idea how to even get any or properly talk to any, even just as friends. With that being said I don’t know how I could ever embrace womanhood and live as a woman. I have pretended to be a man for soo long, I don’t know how to ever live as a woman. I don’t have that ability to connect with girls and talk about stuff and gossip.

>>40233609
I'm extremely uncomfortable just existing in public as a man and I have pretty extreme social anxiety so I miss the early corona era desu, it was comfy. I got to basically skip a good chunk of my junior/senior years of hs to spend my time having fun reading gender bender manga all day and watching dumb normies lose their minds over the thing I had known was coming for like a month beforehand because of this website. I just wish I wasn't so deep in my tradtard chudcoping phase at the time so that I could have taken advantage of such a good opportunity to transition while I still had the chance to potentially do so successfully instead of dooming myself to misery for the rest of my life by betting on the chance that I would grow out of this.
Reading that back makes me feel like a bad person so maybe I deserve to be a repper desu, but honestly if I have to be a repressor I think I'm entitled to hope the world ends. A little bit of apocalypticism feels comforting when the alternative is just being stuck for the rest of your life in monotonous misery.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMeEByBNfZk

I should not eat for 24 hours I think

>>40236442
I spent every day up until 3am taking online gender dysphoria tests and reading through quora posts about agp (before I realised it was called agp).

Also how about a mysterious world where everyone swaps genders instead?

Perhaps at some point we can get life like virtual reality, where we can just live full time as women and we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and it would feel real and we could have sex with men and it feel real, even with a male body.

>>40236442
>I just wish I wasn't so deep in my tradtard chudcoping phase at the time so that I could have taken advantage of such a good opportunity to transition while I still had the chance to potentially do so successfully instead of dooming myself to misery for the rest of my life by betting on the chance that I would grow out of this
Mood.

>>40236412
yea that sounds really tough, I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I've never really had problems making friends like that just never been in a serious relationship. it does kinda sound like you're overthinking it a bit though, it's not like it's that much different than being friends with guys
>>40236507
my plan too

>the agamp is hitting again

>>40236838
> yea that sounds really tough, I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I've never really had problems making friends like that just never been in a serious relationship. it does kinda sound like you're overthinking it a bit though, it's not like it's that much different than being friends with guys

Thanks. I have had the advice to just try and talk to girls like you would with guys but obviously about stuff they would find interesting or funny. But I struggle to loosen up and have a natural connection.

Do reppers make good politicians? I realized I won't get what I truly want from this life, so might as well give up and move on to something actually achievable that might give me some sense of purpose.

>>40237170
>Do reppers make good politicians?
no

>>40237170
I’m gonna go with no. This is basing it around UK politics. For example, if I became leader of a political party that did well in a general election and was needed in a coalition government with another party in order to surpass the 326 threshold to form a majority. But let’s say for example, the party I was entering in a coalition agreement wasn’t very pro trans. When we need to compromise on key legislation as both parties in the coalition government must agree on in order for a bill to pass. I would most likely end up sacrificing soo many different party policies, such as key economic policies, just to ensure that trans rights are protected. And this would be at a huge risk of my party’s reputation. TLDR: I would compromise on whatever harmful policies the other party has just in exchange for trans rights. Simply because I value LGBT rights very importantly, because perhaps if things were better for me when I was younger I wouldn’t have to be living a sad lonely repper life.

Also, if I was an MP, I would rebel against my party if it wanted to take away trans rights, which would likely result in having the whip suspended. (I.e. kicked out of the party)

Although with that being said, there was a tory politician that won his seat while he was repping, and later came out to be the first trans MP. (Katie Wallis, previously known as Jamie Wallis)

>>40236672
gender dysphoria tests were jewish troon propaganda so I just consumed whatever media I could find that had genderswap/trap/trans themes to fuel the escapist fantasies of my imaginary lives as a woman that I obsessed over daily like a normal healthy young man.
That would definitely be nicer yeah lol, maybe not for everyone who doesn't wanna swap genders though.
I've tried virtual reality before and it doesn't really do much for me. You can still feel your giant man body underneath the plastic headset and it totally breaks the illusion.

i'm so tired

>>40237763
I always found they were more like are you trans tests. They never asked about anything specific apart from about how comfortable you are with your genitalia.

Oh yeah, of course about the gender swap thing. But then soo many people would understand that gender dysphoria is real and things may actually get better for trans healthcare and stuff.

Yeah I’ve tried VR stuff too, but it was just depressing cos I knew it was all fake.

>>40237952
Are there vr videos from the women's perspective or are you talking about VR chat?

>>40238000
I’m talking about porn. But I don’t do any of the VR stuff anymore due to shame.

>>40236672
>Perhaps at some point we can get life like virtual reality, where we can just live full time as women and we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and it would feel real and we could have sex with men and it feel real, even with a male body.
are you on hrt?
i wouldn't be happy unless my body actually felt different, and not just my male body

>>40238170
i'm too lazy to do the vr stuff
i'm also too ashamed to commission models

>>40238783
> are you on hrt?
no

I don't want to be a trans woman I want to be a cis woman

>>40238890
would you rather be a tranny or a man, thoughbeit

>>40238905
tran

Hit with the depression stick hard today.
I'm not good enough to be my ideal self, and even my ideal self would be total shit.

But why do I even idealize these things? Maybe it's because I am a bad person, and our culture inherently associates women and femininity with evil

>>40238934
But they didn't invent the skull, rib cage, and shoulder shrinking pill yet.

>>40238890
What kind of woman would I even be though. Still a terrible one.

i'm a cis les trans chaser trapped in a tranny trapped in a man's body

>>40238957
i know anon, but we work with what we got

>>40229927
very teenage fembrained of you

>>40238890
A transwoman is the closest you will ever get to being a ciswoman. I’m sorry but you will just need to accept that.

>>40239005
Yeah but like, losing the only important coin flip of your life and then being punished for life kinda sucks a bit
Like, a little

>>40238890
I could be pretty happy as a passing transwoman desu, too bad my shit genetics removed that as an option for me

>>40238860
hurts doesn't it

>>40239249
I guess so

>>40239270
sorry that sounded mean
i'm just feeling it as well

>>40225750 (OP)
How often has this happened to her on dates with guys to where she decided to make a post about it?

>>40239838
Is OP pic a cis woman?

My brain is so fucked today

>>40233662
>When did people starting calling HRTreping stolen valor
when boymoding became a non existent thing and was replaced with manmoding (boymoding but more self deprecating) so any hrtrepper just gets lumped in with a "manmoder"

This place isn't good for me

I'm going to become a true gentleman.

I feel like I shouldn't be bisexual

what character embodies your experience as a repper

>>40241450
Changing is so fucking hard.

Sometimes repping forever is the best choice for everyone.

>>40241498
>Three years
Ha, what an amateur. This misery can go on forever if he lets it.

>>40239499
Well we’re all in this together. I don’t think it sounded mean.

i'm an hrt repper too but i legally transitioned
my legal name may now be rainbows and sunshine and flowes but you can just call me Saddam

why do people hate hrt reppers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yceqlGShZZI

17.3 inch biacromial. It never began bros

>>40242891
Finally someone almost as bad as me lmao

I want to be an anime girl.

is ghost in the shell the only reppercore media in history?

>>40244578
i feel like taxi driver is quintessential repper media

>>40244578
How is it repper media when it's a setting where reppers would not exist since you can get a female cyberbody?

Repressing your inner desires because of the lack of possible acceptance or real fulfillment is a universal human experience.

>>40244711
Most humans want to do gay shit like steal from Walmart or flip out and kill a guy though, real disgusting impulsive animal shit.

im going insane body wants me or cares about me im so alone

Tell me about your mother, repanon.

>gonna be 33 this week
>ugly as fuck as a guy despite my best efforts to be fit and healthy
>hate everything about myself physically and mentally
>would never pass no matter what i did or tried
>complete friendless NEET shut in for 13 odd years
>will probably die a virgin
>sexuality has consisted of self inserting into the woman in straight porn for close to 20 odd years now and before that it was transformation fantasies about becoming a woman and acting like a slut
>can't get off to anything else no matter what i try so i will just continue to rot alone in my room full of self hate, anxiety, and neuroticism
>i will never experience true happiness or the intimacy i want because my brain was rendered defective at or near birth
>i shouldn't exist and will never have any drive or purpose
i never asked for this life and i will never enjoy it. all i can do is vent into the uncaring void that will never care back about my mental illness. happy birthday to me.

>>40244578
any of tsukumizu's manga are reppercore as well

detransitioned
i will live the rest of my life as a man and maybe hopefully someday enter into a relationship with a repping ftm

>>40246681
hope you didn't pass and kept your dick. if you passed i have no sympathy for you.

>>40246694
no gyno, still have my dick
i "passed" as a twink i guess so not really

>>40241450
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iswIvX4ebeQ

>>40246705
at least you got to be a twink.

Should I keep repping or try and get my life together to troon

>>40246738
i'm young so it's not really surprising

>>40246761
i never had a twink period. went from a fat ugly kid to a fat ugly adult man near instantly.

>>40246281
im so scared im going to turn into this
t. same on all parts but age and years being neet

>>40246863
turn into what? i was always masculine and ugly, and by the time i found out what hrt and agp was i was already done puberty. if you can pass just transition. i never had the opportunity to cause i was unironically high test in the womb which gave me overwhelmingly masculine features.

>>40246863
>im so scared im going to turn into this
i turned into this after actually fucking up life
>went from making six figures to neet repper living off family after covid
i actually threw away everything and i don't know what the fuck went wrong

>>40244711
>Rep
>Die
>Enter the astral plane
>"Congrats on refusing to transition. Your commitment to avoiding material desires has allowed you to raise your vibration high enough to ascend to a higher state of being"
Daily reminder that refusing conetits is refusing reincarnation

>>40247192
Just don't go into the white light (The archons use it to erase your memories and farm your loosh)

>>40246995
i dont have a chance to pass its over
>>40247046
you can get back anon please

It’s probably better to just transition, right? It’s the only viable treatment for GD. It’s not like a cure is coming down the pipe any time soon. It’s kinda like: shit or get off the pot, y’know? What’s the point of just laying in traumatic agony for an entire life? Most trans never pass anyway, so that’s not really an excuse. It’s not about being a stealth-passing beautiful woman, because that was never gonna happen for an AMAB. It’s just about treating the condition and there is only one treatment.

tl;dr: YOLO

>>40247270
>you can get back anon please
anon this was years during covid
i fucked up so much
imagine throwing away six figures, no roommates, a good job, and a good endo just to move back with my family
i'm the biggest fucking idiot trying to get back something i threw away

>>40247946
you can still get it back anon, you had it before try

>It’s probably better to just transition, right?

maybe for you. i cant even take care of myself. 100% dependent on my parents once they die ill be on the street.

>>40248019
That’s heavy stuff, anon. Sorry for speaking out of turn. I’m a cis straightoid and I’m just trying to understand lgbt stuff better. I hope things work out for you.

i might as well be an hrt repper
my trans friends hate me for being a faketroon
I hate myself for being atrendr mef faketroon
there is no hope

>>40248104
you are not faketrans

>>40248118
>40248118
>>40248118

>>40248118
proof?

>>40248129
by definition faketrans do not think they're faketrans, they think they're trans
you are fakefaketrans, ie you are trans

>>40248162
are you asinine?
>be definition alcoholics dont think theya re alcohoics!
wut???

>>40248180
a faketrans is someone who isn't trans but thinks they are
an alcoholic is someone who is addicted to alcohol
one is based entirely around self-perspective and the other isn't

self perception*

>>40248199
IF its self perception how can i not be faketrans if i call myself faketrans?
STOP PANDERING TO MY DELUSIONS

I’mtook lots of polonium

>>40248227
do you believe that you're trans, yes or no

>>40248267
im not trans
I just take hrt and pretend im trans cause of some circumstances

>>40248281
>im not trans
okay then you're not faketrans because >>40248162 faketrans think they're trans

>>40248299
ok makes sense great :0
yeah confused duh
:)

>>40248310
you are trans
take your pills
you will be a woman

>>40248199
kinda.
a faketrans is one that doesn't get it. they identify with their sex assigned at birth, but claim they don't. what i mean is they'll claim say, their massive mommy milkers give them gender dysphoria and then do nothing about it. like reverse psychology. nyo0o don't look at my tits~ same shit for amabs. says they have gender dysphoria as they're dick deep in their partner. it's called cognitive dissonance and intellectual dishonesty. if you enjoy topping as amab, you don't have gender dysphoria.

>>40247987
yeah i guess i just don't want to try again and then suddenly my state bans hrt and i'm fucked

>>40248337
god i wish i had a faketrans dick deep in me

>>40248321
i have some sunken cost fallacy going sdo I keep taking it but idk why beyond that
Not going bald and not having male libido helps or smaller genitals are a plus i guess?
Last one is a fetish i know
>>40248337
yeah i tried topping but I was repressing then and I never made penetration happen
idk i could have but eh complicated
idk i hate self diagnosing something

losing the genetic lottery twenty years ago has turned me into a neet loser that can't do anything but isn't conventionally mentally ill enough to get real help

>>40248387
I think liking having less of male genitals is not necessarily a fetish

>>40248414
idk
small penis appriciation?
penis shrinking/feminization shit?
I never crossdressed i found ym body too gross to be enchanted by it although no doubt im deeply agp, as the reason to transition to have female body as a fantasy for sexual gratification
>oops retellinng my entiore fapping history again!
YEH anyway it is kinda fetish

>>40248435
>i found ym body too gross
oh my GODDDDD come on you're making it too obvious. I hereby diagnose with you Real Trans (tm) now stop beating yourself up over jerking off

>>40248435
I could never resist the agp urges. I have toned down quite a lot but recently but I still find myself every month or so crossdressing. The feeling after orgasm is just horrible though.

>>40248512
nah it wasnt like that for most of life mostly in the "crossdressing like this" era
Currently I am an hrt repper so you get how it still goes
>stop
stop what im literally not trutrans lol
>>40248521
post nut sucks
my therapists says i just am guilt tripping myself but I think thats wrong cause I also dont defend any trans identity I might have and kinda also know inherently i am not really trans like most people are(like the trans people I know of)
they just roll so much better. I am old and busted and having a quarter life crisis for being lonely all my life

>>40248646
you are trans you are trutrans

>>40248659
literally not true lol
>trutrans person
>knows they are trasn since the moment they know what a trans person is
>sooner than that they know they feel weird in their own body/gender identity/role
>transition socially asap
>transition medically asap
>if repping occurs its external OR if internal it is entirely due to lack of actual trans knowledge and about themselves
>after transitioning they usually fast track into normal people
>all that usually before 30
none of that applies. I trooned at 26 dude xd
I was agp at best
its all fake masking

i bullied hons online when i was 13

yeah i didnt have internet then

>>40248692
being trans is not a checklist of specific life events
you clearly have gender dysphoria, you are trans

>>40248724
my gender dysphoria is prolly fake and im prolly lying rn to win brownie points and feel more valid by people online telling me im trans or some shit
and if it was I only had t since i started the whole "failed femboy" shit after puberty and bad life choices
i was trans or dysphoric back then btw
I only got dysphoric after learing about trannies and gaining a bunch of brainworms from here desu
26 is too old to start uqetioning your gender xd
come on re you zerious?

>>40248646
> I also dont defend any trans identity I might have and kinda also know inherently i am not really trans like most people are(like the trans people I know of)
they just roll so much better. I am old and busted and having a quarter life crisis for being lonely all my life


A question I would ask yourself is: so think about when women had very unequal rights and were just housewife, couldn’t even vote or have a bank account, if those conditions were still in place today, would you still want to be a woman?

>>40248745
wdym by "failed femboy"

>>40248745
>I only got dysphoric after learing about trannies
that's not normal. cis people do not do that

>>40248762
i wanted to be a femboy and shit but ofc
too fat ugly worthless etc
agamp shit essentially
come on this is kinda embrassing
>>40248790
it prolly had most to do with my agp/mef/agamp crap
part of tocd
>>40248758
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what does that mean. id rather be a cool ancient world priestess or some shit. tradwife shit is gross. Americana was gross. Maybe a rich bitch in new York in the 1800s? idk what you mean
Idk I guess not then? That settles it thanks

>>40248745
>only got dysphoric after learing about trannies
desu same, but i was only 17 at the time
didn't do anything abt it, crossdressed a couple times, and i've been raped by t since, i am heavily balding, etc.

>>40248811
Like would you still want to be a woman in a world where being a woman is very hard and oppressive?

>>40248827
yeah add a few years and basically me
luv it

>>40248811
>yes i wanted to be feminine and felt bad about not being able to and yes i want to be feminine and feel bad about not being able to and yes i recognized those feelings as dysphoria when i found out what trans means but no i'm actually a pervert

>>40225750 (OP)
yeah, im going to repress, but I'm staying on hrt. and if anyone asks, I'm just going to say I'm a feminine dude I guess. I fucking hate this world so much, I wish I could just be openly trans without trouble but oh fucking well.

>>40248834
idk
do i wanna be a woman now?
Good question
>>40248866
it is literally just agamp/agp/mef/tocd thoughlbeit
See above
Cant even say i wanna be a woman it doesnt feel correct. being honest

>>40248883
giwtwm

>>40248883
Isn’t that saying goodbye to ever going on a summer holiday or beach holiday ever again?

holiday lmao who goes on holidays

>>40248900
same

>>40248903
I don't give a fuck. I'll go to the beach whenever I want. I don't respect people enough to care about what they think anymore.

>>40248925
I think I would bet bored visiting cold countries

>>40248951
> I don't give a fuck. I'll go to the beach whenever I want. I don't respect people enough to care about what they think anymore.

Fe

>>40249001
what?

silence
its just so easy

>>40249012
Fair enough. I know I shouldn’t be but I have way too much social anxiety

I thought mum knows about my dysphoria, but she doesn’t know that I know. But now I’m not so convinced because she doesn’t seem that pro trans despite being fairly liberal.

death to hons

>>40248866
I've been repping for most of my life and I still get feelings like that anon does sometimes. It's easy to get insecure about your identity, like when I hear about these girls who ran away from home at 12 to live fucked up street lives just to live as a girl I feel fake as shit for willingly repressing through those ages and trying to force myself to adopt a male identity.

>>40249186
but I am male anon
Its ok
you can be male
IT IS OK TO BE A MAN AND NOT WANT TO BE A WOMYN

>>40249256
Well I want to be a woman. I lied to myself for the last 27 fucking years and I have to admit it now that I want it, even if I can't make it happen.

>>40225750 (OP)
this person in OP is a vaush fan LOL

>>40249294
take hrt NOW
DO IT
NOW

>>40249186
different people have different levels of dysphoria. yeah yours definitely isn't as bad as theirs if you could do that, doesn't mean you're not valid or anything

>>40249303
I just might anon, even if it's a distant hope that I'll look good now. Anything is better than continuing to lie.

>>40249323
you dont have to transition but you should take hrt to stop the effect of test on your body since further effects will only make your dysphoria harder to deal with

hrt """"Reppers"""" stealing our repper cred and making it so trve reppvrs have no where to call home. Sad!

>>40249322
I know. I just mean that it's very easy to have those thoughts that downplay your own experience. "I put up with it, that means it's not real" was one of those poisonous thoughts that kept me repping through my 20's and just ended up making things worse.
>>40249338
I'm in my 30's, I'm not sure how much worse it can get really, but the way I look at is that it would be accepting it at least a little bit, even if privately, and that's a little better than continuing as I have been.

>>40249512
true reppers just live as normal men and don't go onto tranny forums to talk about being a repoer 24/7

>>40249545
yeah do w/e you want
just accept your body will look awkward unless you try to fully transition into a woman
i mean you can just live a normal life as a man on hrt but it might also be harder to do so

>>40249558
Why do troons get so pissy because I want to talk about by experience as trve reppvr with other trve reppvrs? It's like our existence is something they are trying to erase...

>>40249558
This was me for a few years
Then I went on the tranny forum and immediately stopped repping

>every other board is normalfag central nowadays
>can't go on the tranny board without being called a larper or faker if you don't suck dick 24/7 and inject estrogen into your balls
i hate this entire fucking website. i really do.

>>40249588
I mean I will try to go all the way if I can, I'm just pessimistic about it.

>>40249512
real
>>40249558
hey I'm only here on really bad days, which coincidentally is more often recently

/ourguy/ Gerbert just dropped a Trvke on porn addiction and transitioning. The hons will NOT like this.

https://youtu.be/j1Z-AuoCqnQ?si=-JqE-IABo4cGjLKC

>>40249870
No zoomer is my guy.

>>40248393
literally me - 2 years (it doesn't get better btw)

>>40249653
>Then I went on the tranny forum and immediately stopped repping
god i wish that were me
instead of crying on repgen

>>40248883
>"yeah, im going to manmode"

>>40249870
why is this random faggot /ourguy/ when he seems to be (from the title, I didn't actually watch) accusing everyone in this thread of le porn addiction because we have agp dysphoria?
the porn addiction-trans pipeline meme is retarded because the only porn I've ever really found arousing in the first place is 2d agp/trap/yaoi stuff and I don't consume a lot of that regularly. It's not like I started out watching "normal" porn until it became habitual and stopped being taboo enough. I find the same exact things arousing now as I always have.

>>40250293
Another question is why people drop 20 minute videos (or longer) in 4chan threads. do you really think Im gonna watch it? Maybe if it were 2-3 minutes but c'mon.

>>40250293
I think porn addiction is a issue with people here, but a separate one.

porn addiction causes repping, not transgenderism

i'm crying

>>40250620
Gay culture has gotten really fucking retarded lately but I don't know if porn is to blame

i have a porn addiction in the sense that i jerk off once a day or once every other day depending on how i feel

QOTT I don't think I've ever chosen a paint color for a room that was "mine" in my life.
I did once think it would be cool to have a room where the walls were covered with drawing paper, so people could sketch or write poetry. Sort of an art lab where the room was the canvas.
>>40246281
>>40249294
>>40249545
I'm a little older than you lot, so I'm probably preaching to the choir about dysphoria not going away.
What's weird is as my dysphoria has settled down, less a driving need and more a minor but constant pain, my desire to troon out has actually gone up. It's kind of like as my chances of passing have diminished, or I just realized they were never there, I'm also looking at my life and realizing I kind of failed as a man, so what does it matter?
I think I'm starting to understand where honfidence comes from...
>>40241669
kek

>>40246281
>i will never experience true happiness or the intimacy i want
I worry that this is my life bc of my r*pe fetish. I want to experience loving like intimate spiritually fulfilling sex w my bf, and it is good but i worry that i like ruined my brain bc i dont have pure fantasies but instead theyre negative tinted w my self hate. Wish it was easier to talk about this too bc “sex positive kink positive” people are SO loud about this and shut anyone down who says they dont like their kink and want to change.

Sorry that youre going through such pain anon. Its possible that your life will improve. We can never predict the future and anything could happen

>>40250620
agreed, i was able to use excessive porn consumption as a cope to stop myself from trooning. i could call it a fetish even if it wasn't because the content i was consuming was fetish content

>>40247946
Lowkey how did this happen? Did you just lose your job during covid? Cuz that’s not your fault

>>40251048
>Lowkey how did this happen? Did you just lose your job during covid?
no i was so stupid that i moved back home during covid. it's completely my fault i fucked everything up so badly
i would be 5 years hrt if i didn't do that...

>>40246281
My whole life I've really just wanted close friendships with women, but at the same time I'm sexually attracted to women. I am a disgusting person.

i'm about to go insane

>>40252701
There’s nothing wrong with you at all. Women are 50% of the population. It makes sense you would desire friendship/interaction with half of the earth’s population. Also many people are attracted to women, so you are not abnormal for this. You are too hard on yourself for behavior that you would think nothing of another person displaying

Cannot tell if I am one of the successful detranioners or if I conversion therapied myself.

>>40249870
I think he's confusing the consequence for the cause.
What comes first, the goonery or the agp dysphoria? That's where the answer is.
While I do think he's somewhat right (there's definitely some sissyboomerhons out there doing it for that goon multiplier), he argues most do it AFTER the porn fried their brains, but I think we all know this is bullshit. The feeling of being "wrong" somehow, the desire to be different was always there, even before any of us started using the internet for any libidinous reasons. That feeling isn't met through our everyday lives, and in some cases it can take the form of the übergooner archetype. It's literally textbook sublimation.
He also argues it can come through trauma and honestly this is the most probable of his theories in my opinion. No father figure blah blah blah, weird psychic effects ensue. But this also sounds a lot like "you're gay because you got diddled" and anyone who's met a fag or a flamer... you just know that shit is from the womb (gayface being good proof of this), so I'm not too sure about that one either.
idk why im defending the troons so much but i just had to add my 2 cents.

>>40249870
>>40253061
I don't like how he mentions that exposure to porn at a young age is “rape” of the young male exposed… but fails to mention at all that the videos being watched almost certainly feature actual rape of a woman human being. Did this bother anyone else or just me?

the only thing that matters to people is being as cruel and hostile to everyone around them as possible

>>40252907
A lot of days it's just like I'm in panic mode nonstop

Twelve-year-old Juillet is preparing for the worst summer ever. She and her mom are staying in the seaside neighborhood of Ocean Park, California, for a month, where her mom will be working at the local hospital and Juillet will be on her own, like always.

Her dad is off in Europe with his new girlfriend, and her best friend, Fern . . . well, Juiller isn’t allowed to talk to Fern anymore. Fern took the blame for Juillet’s goth-girl clothes and “not-real” fears, like sharks and rip currents and the number three.

Then Juillet meets Summer, a local surfer girl who knows the coolest people and places around town. With free-spirited and adventurous Summer, Juillet begins to come out of her shell and face the things weighing her down. But when Summer reveals her own painful secret, it’s Juillet’s turn to be the strong and supportive friend.

>>40246281
Happy birthday, repbro. Mine was last month. I wish you many years of life and lots of escapism for your loneliness. Such as pornography and drugs. I'm 12 years younger and my life has been like yours since I was 15.

>>40252701
I only admired and was friends with girls until I started school. Then I began interacting with boys, got rejected, and never really had a social life again.

>>40253061
>What comes first, the goonery or the agp dysphoria?

For me, it’s definitely AGP, and that’s why I can’t seem to get rid of it. If I were just a gooner, it might be easier — I'd see it as just a fetish and could distance myself from it. But the fact that AGP has been with me for as long as I can remember, even before I was exposed to pornography, makes my mind believe this is just who I am. It feels like there's no way to stop being this way

>>40253061
Yes, when I was 13 it was more agp feelings along with being horny all the time. Now, it feels like I don’t care as much about the agp feelings and I just feel general dysphoria.

>>40255231
I.e. I distanced myself from the rest of trans people because I felt that my feelings were sexual based. When I was reading about trans experiences online, nothing agp related came up and I just thought that I had some weird sexual fetish.

>walk past woman who is around my height
>I'm still massively bigger than her in every other way

pain

>>40255832
I like it when I see women my own height

Troon genes aren't real.

>>40255924
Then what are you doing here?

>>40225750 (OP)
No real man would ever care about the color of his shitty wall. It's a fucking wall!

Where my trve reppers who inject weird solutions into their testicles atttt

gigantic fan of encountering women close to my age and towering over all of them

>>40256148
Repmaxx requires steroids

>>40256265
True. Estradiol!

>>40249870
i can't speak for everyone but my tranny thoughts started at 7 and they were pure AGP transformation fantasies where i'd either imagine myself turning into a hot adult woman and it would make me super happy and excited and i'd rub my body all over to the point where i'd end up naked. or i'd imagine myself as a girl my age hanging out with other girls and doing normal stuff and being happy about it. nothing really spurred on either fantasies other than imagining myself as the opposite sex in elaborate fantasies at night in my bed made me feel happy and horny, but some of my earliest memories were wishing i wasn't born a boy and feeling strange about that. i wasn't abused or raped or anything i had a really boring typical lower middle class childhood with young parents. i always felt deep shame and depression over the fact that i couldn't be a girl though and it made me lose faith in god very young as well since i refused to believe a loving god would make me go through sleepless nights of sobbing my eyes out because i couldn't wake up a girl.

i didn't start self inserting myself into straight porn as the girl until i started watching hardcore porn at like 13-14. even then i didn't learn what agp was until 17 and it just made me hate myself more. i still don't believe i'm trutrans or even gay. i think i'm some weird pseudo asexual i guess, because the things i want to do sexually irl with men as a woman are actually impossible it's a fantasy. i've never really had a fantasy or thought about doing anything sexual as a man, so if the opportunity ever did arise to try stuff i don't know how i'd react or be. maybe i would essentially be normal and fine in the moment but in my head and neurotic alone after the fact. at 30+ and a virgin still i don't see myself ever having an opportunity to see how i would be with a woman though. i have no interest in doing gay stuff with another man as a man. i've told my lame and boring gay retard story before but not in a bit

>>40257408
also i never got big into crossdressing like some people with agp. i was always a fat ugly kid who was big for my age so trying on female clothes or makeup just made me depressed and i felt disgusting like a monster. a big part of me believes i am just low iq and basically near retarded and i just got really obsessed with the idea of becoming female and my malformed and demented brain latched onto it and made it form my sexuality after the fact for some bizarre reason. i wish i could be normal though and not whatever freak i am. cause i'm certainly not trutrans enough to seriously commit to trooning out ever, but i have zero masculine identity and i basically hobble around like a non sexual perpetually neurotic and self loathing manchild.

>>40257408
This sounds pretty sad if I had to be honest.

That’s the same age as well when I discovered what agp was. I heard the word being used on here and googled it immediately only to have the ‘oh shit that’s me’ kinda reaction.

I think the AGP first came about for me at age 12 when I realised that I enjoyed pulling my penis back (kinda like tucking) so it would like I had nothing between my legs. This was the first thing to ever make me feel horny before I started watching porn. Before this age, I had only ever crossdressed privately for the joy of doing so.

I had a similar experience where I never initially self inserted myself into the female POV when watching porn, but I later did (this was when I got into trans porn a lot). Nowadays, whenever I occasionally watch porn, I always insert myself into that female role (and this is mainly straight porn I consume nowadays)

Anyway though, please try on accepting the fact that having agp doesn’t mean you aren’t trans. I felt that way for a while, but then I discovered that all of the dysphoria I had experienced throughout my life means that I deserve to transition and live a happy life and I’m hoping to start very soon.

>>40258119
>Anyway though, please try on accepting the fact that having agp doesn’t mean you aren’t trans.
the biggest reason why i refuse to transition or entertain the idea of being trans is i wouldn't pass to be honest. it's also why i use this board sparingly. i've never felt like i belonged in the lgbt community or any community really. i am too weird and awkward to be "one of the guys" (never fit in any male friend group and have been asked if i was gay or autistic) and i'm too creepy and ugly to have ever been friends with women either. transitioning won't improve my quality of life and it would just make me more of a weirdo for people to avoid. i just hate myself a lot. i'll never fit in anywhere as a neurotic manchild or a nonpassing giga hon. i don't understand how having cone boobs would improve my quality of life transitioning later in life is pointless.

>>40258169
> wouldn't pass to be honest
Sorry about that anon

>>40258286
nothing to be sorry about. most adult men wouldn't pass if they tried to transition. i just got hit with the ugly masc stick really hard and fast when puberty hit like a lot of men. just wasn't in the cards, and i see my fantasies and obsessions as things that are just always gonna be in my head because reality isn't as kind unfortunately.

>>40258169
I wish I could give you a hug

>>40255832
this but they're taller than me, yet I still have massively wide shoulders by comparison, plus pathetically narrow hips

Imagine transitioning. you're a giant male still (bone law) and you pass by a woman on the sidewalk. Your giant frame mogging her into oblivion while your gyno titties are sticking out.

Absolutely disgusting.

>>40258327
i don't really like when people give me sympathy because i was simply too cowardly to transition early, and now i'm too lazy and cowardly to do anything with my life in general. by all means i'm just a loser fuckup who wasted and continues to waste his life because of unchecked lifelong neuroticism. i shouldn't ever be on this board really because even if i vent to the void it's not gonna change anything or do anything. i should be at the age where i realize that venting like this about impossible fantasies is ultimately pointless and i should focus on things i can actually change, but like i said i am retarded and lazy and overall just the type of person people can point to as an example to their kids about how not to end up like or emulate if you want to have a decent life. i wasted my entire youth because of stupid faketrans hangups that i did nothing about then and will never do.

>>40248834
LMAAAAAAAAAAO

>>40258691
Have you considered that it’s perhaps not your fault at all? If the conditions were perfect for you to come out, I’m sure you would have transitioned.

>>40258744
???

>>40258779
doesn't matter now anyways. all i can do is just cope and live alone and not ever bother anyone else with my mental illness, baggage, and issues.

>>40255231
>>40253061
sexuality being your only outlet for dysphoria is THE classic repper cope
https://www.avitale.com/essays-details/?name=the-gender-variant-phenomenon--a-developmental-review-5
take your HRT, retards

>>40258797
>>40258744
Men really have a difficult time admitting that women are a marginalized group. They just do not have the lived experience

>>40253061
Obviously porn doesn't cause gender dysphoria. The idea is absurd. Yeah ,looking at some nude images on the internet is going to totally rewire your brain.

Again, it's just a mental illness. No different than bipolar, ADHD, whatever. Our brains are fucked up.The End.

>>40259293
There are privileges of being male I take for granted. But even for cis men, it is hard to be a man given what is expected from men.

>>40259313
By this logic, why not treat your mental illness in the only known way?

>>40259602
I don't want to

reppers will be my wives

>>40259689
i will not i dont look like a wife

>>40259702
too bad

I love being on hold and listening to grating music in the big 2025. just call me back ffs
>>40259246
I know this is just cope but isn't the end of this paper just survivorship bias to assume that there are quite a few olds who remain intensely dysphoric? surely there are some people out there who end up being comfortable without transition and there's no way to like run a study on that

>>40259689
if you could actually turn me into a woman i might

>>40259710
i wish i could take the role of a wife for someone even if i dont look like one, sadly it could only be in a gay relationship where were both men

i think "i could pass" and "i couldn't pass" at least once a day each

>>40260114
Me too.

>>40260114
Same desu. I spend an unhealthy amount of time in front of a mirror trying to determine how hopeless my face is.

>>40259602
I don't have the money to transition. Sorry I'm not a normalfag with a job and friends and a diploma.

so glad I get to live in the timeline where I spent my 20s as a reclusive and borderline autistic NEET male instead of the one where I was a cute redheaded college student living in montreal

>>40260396
diy is cheap af but i get it if you're concerned you'll never be able to pay for ffs/srs

>>40260594
>Cheap

I'M BROKE

time to genderbend myself using ai because i'm that pathetic

>>40260594
There’s soo many other costs that come with transition even without considering surgery. Like laser treatment, skincare, makeup, hair products. You have to put a lot of effort and money in to make it worth it but it can be done.

>>40260775
I get the urge to have an AI genderbend my face but I'm too paranoid to upload my pics.

>>40260875
i'm retarded and ramble to chatgpt about how i want to be a woman anyways

>>40260945
Does that help?

i honestly feel like a lolcow that's only watched by myself a lot of times

>>40259293
Most people here want to be marginalized

new thread
>>40261178
>>40261178
>>40261178

>>40261017
no i just get sad

honestly me realizing that I'm hot as fuck as a guy lessened the dysphoria a little