>had sex with my boyfriend for the first time yesterday
>his penis is by far bigger than any I've ever seen (not that I've seen a ton, he's number 13)
Yeah I think I've gone from loving girlfriend to obsessed yandere girlfriend

>>40267796 (OP)
>not that I've seen a ton, he's number 13
That’s a ton

>>40267796 (OP)
You can’t be a loving girlfriend after fucking 12 men beforehand

>>40267899
Nah
I mean it's okay but still a small-ish amount

>>40267796 (OP)
How big is he doe

power of BWC giwtwm

>>40267920
8 1/4 inches ^^

>>40267908
rofl no
I'm more sexually successful than most people, but 13 just... isn't that much, I'm sorry
If the average is under 13, all that means is that the average number is low

>>40267796 (OP)
>not that I've seen a ton, he's number 13

depending on your age that is a lot.

>>40267913
Small-ish? Where are living a pron studio?

>>40267966
22

>>40267963
>If the average is under 13, all that means is that the average number is low

mam, I don't think you understand how averages work, they cant be low or high by definition, they are average.

>>40267927
What’s the difference between that and an average penis?

>>40267970
you a ho.

>>40267796 (OP)
>t. least slutty straight tranny

>have massive dick
>tranny gf is practically asexual so shes not impressed at all

what a waste.

>>40267977
Lol that's not true
Most people have two kids, that's a low number
Most people only get married once or twice, that's a low number
13 is low for sex because it's easy to have much higher numbers and because 13 is a small enough number of sexual partners for novelty to remain

>>40267980
It's the difference between "I look forward to having sex with you again, it was fun" and "please fuck me I need you now the time that passes between us making love is meaningless filler"

>>40267986
mhm and proud of it

whore, I have only slept with my bf (1 person)

13 is inconceivable!

>>40268022
Do you think you could settle with an average dude again?

>>40268022
>13 is low for sex
no you are just a whore and coping, just admit you are run through and impure :D

>>40268047
I have become a yandere, anyone who isn't my boyfriend is friendzoned forever
If he leaves me I'm pulling the trigger

>>40268052
shoo troll
before I make you number 14

>>40267970
When age did you first start any sexual activity? Important for the range of you went through dick in a certain time frame

>>40268022
>Lol that's not true
>Most people have two kids, that's a low number
>Most people only get married once or twice, that's a low number
>13 is low for sex because it's easy to have much higher numbers and because 13 is a small enough number of sexual partners for novelty to remain

this bitch really does not understand how averages work.

>>40268076
>anyone who isn't my boyfriend is friendzoned forever
>shoo troll before I make you number 14
You’re as sharp as a cotton ball

>>40268083
I lost my virginity on my 15th birthday

>>40268022
Brutal dickpill

>>40268106
You’re gonna catch something bruh

>>40268089
>>40268092
why is everyone suddenly calling me dumb lol

>>40268133
if it smells like dogshit everywhere you go, check the bottom of your shoe.

>>40268106
story?

>>40267796 (OP)
Need hoeish gf

>>40267796 (OP)
13 is a lot
i'm a 20 year old tranny and i've been with 3 people, although i haven't ever been properly anally penetrated yet so i'm still a butt virgin...don't know if i could handle 8+ inches, that sounds like a lot...

>>40268160
my best friend and I dated when I was 14 and 15
on my birthday (october 26th) we went to an ice skating rink
it was close enough to be within walking distance
the date made us both really horny so we had sex in some bushes behind the skating rink for a few minutes but we stopped quickly because it was painful
we had more pleasant and more romantic sex at other places though (friends' houses, parties)
eventually I broke up with him because I realized I didn't really feel for him that way and was just fucking him because I was a horny teen and he spent the next few years trying to win me back before giving up and finding a new girlfriend in college

>>40268184
Let me excavate dat ass babe

>>40268207
wya?

>>40268215
Northeast : p

>>40268220
i'm european ;_;

>>40268193
are you cisf?

>>40268184
How have 3 people been unable to fuck you

>>40268224
SLUT!!

>>40268225
nope
my best friend since kindergarten was the first person I came out to when I was 12
he helped me experiment with girlmode stuff in private
in his bedroom I would try out lipstick, high heels, etc
I remember making him flustered at 12 or 13 by kissing him on the cheek to leave a red lipstick smudge just to tease him lol I was such a little tramp
but anyway by 14 he saw me as a girl and had fallen in love with me
my parents got me on HRT at 16 and I went stealth at 18

>>40268229
the first 2 were trannies i acted as sort of a top for (they only sucked me off at most, that was about it and we didn't have time or private space to experiment with anal)

the third was my ex-bf who i was too tight for so i gotta practice before trying to search for dick again...
he did fuck my throat well, though...

>>40268271
Okay this thread sucks that you did not fall in love with him is a crime

>>40268283
why do you think that anon?
I'm sorry if I upset you.
He's happy now with a girl better than me.

>>40268293
It would have been really sweet story, he made you girlmode and stayed a cute couple. Now it’s just lame.

>>40268302
What's that one term... the Westerschire Effect or something...? Like I told him, I know I would have fallen for him if we hadn't met at 5...

>>40268271
what was it like going stealth? did you dress fem/pass b4 hrt?

>>40268313
I get it but it would have been sweeter if he was running trains on you still. Anyway, you seem fine do not put yourself down with girls better than you etc. But I have a thing for slutty women so.

>>40268330
nta but I don't think she's slutty. Nothing about her personality seems slutty.

>>40267796 (OP)
>(not that I've seen a ton, he's number 13)

>>40268336
I would say she is, not like illoyal but clearly slutty with the way she evaluates men and higher than average amount of sex partners etc. Which is fine.

>>40268346
Evaluates men?

>>40268349
Prioritising things like dick size and so on

>>40267796 (OP)
I wish I wasn't so bottom dysphoric and could whore myself out like that too desu

>>40268232
why?

>>40268313
Westermarck, retard.

>>40268381
Fuck off and leave my princess alone.

>>40268357
Even women do stuff like this all time, not only trannies

>>40268428
leave and never come back troglodyte chud

>>40268431
Do you actually think women don’t evaluate men based on things they can’t control like dick size?

>>40268451
It‘s really not a big thing for most women as long as you reach a minimum ime

>>40268451
> Even women
> not only trannies
that's not what I was talking about...

>>40268463
It is, women just gaslight people about it. There’s just a certain size that when a woman takes then never enjoy average guys as much ever again.

>>40268045
picrel
>>40268485
>t. virgin
nta, thick cocks will always feel better but you fuck her well she'll cum and be in ectasy either way if you know how to turn women on.

>>40268022
you can have two kids and only see 1 penis
it might be easy to beat for any woman that tried, but 13 is actually more than most people (men and women) because most women don't actually want to have easy sex with as many people as possible

>>40267927
intestinal perforation type shit, unless you're like 7 foot tall or have ruined your guts with dragon dildos
ill stick with my 5-6 inchers who can fully insert without tearing a hole in my guts while still making my legs tremble, thanks

>>40268784
My husband is 8.5 inches and yeah going full depth definitely requires a good day and some time for things to be properly aligned, but getting to slap my ass on his pelvis while i'm on top off him is pretty nice. But yeah 6 inches is totally fine, the huge cock really is more of a mental thing, and in reality more of a hindrance at points in a ltr. Then again luckily I got a 5 inch one so I can fuck him when taking him would be too inconvenient. And there's also plenty to do even without penetration so yeah I'm not complaining I love all of my husband, inside and out.

>>40268913
longest dildo i've ever taken to the hilt was like 7 inches and i could feel it poking against the end of my canal
its just painful honestly, i dont get how you fit 8.5 but i guess you two make it work
i think the ultimate showing of you dont really need that much length to satisfy a girl is fingering, your fingers are only like 3 inches long and they can still reach the gspot and make me squirm

>>40268994
Yeah it's been painful at times, at those times o-nuts come in handy.
Yeah fingering can feel really great since you can still hit the prostate, but I'd say that a thick enough 5-6 inches cock is still something else, you get that feeling of fullness, that feeling of cock, and the smashing pelvis on ass\dick base on bussy. A thick 7 incher is the perfect cock, but it can still be practically as good with smaller, and bigger ones.

>>40267899
>That’s a ton
Not really

>>40269197
thick 5-6 inchers are my favourite too specifically for that fullness
the only hookup i've ever had was with someone who had a 6in length 6in girth and when i finally got it all in while riding him i just kinda sat there eyes glazed over taking short gasps and my internal muscles twitching slightly
then he started moving, i couldnt walk for like 20 minutes afterwards and my hips felt funny the rest of the day
it was magical, would do again

>>40269237
As a girthy guy always was happy I got all the size in girth instead of length ('just' 6inch) as the latter has strong diminishing gains

>>40269250
you got lucky yeah
around the time of that hookup i could still fit a 6in girth but i haven't had any action since then and my toys are smaller for convenience so i've tightened up some ways, i dont think i'd be able to fit a 6 incher anymore without some effort, largest girth toy i own right now is only like 4 inches

i need to ride my dildos and stretch more bcs holy shit, i want to eventually ride a guy like that some day
i don't wanna be a slut though, guh, i just want a bf

>>40269270
Also if a girl is into frotting it‘s more fun when you are girthy too due to weight differences.
Yeah for sure if she isn’t trained then it might hurt which sucks

>>40269223
Not a ton but a large amount for a 23yo relative to the average.
>>40269237
Didn't say they were my favourite but yeah they're great. Happy you had a good hookup experience anon, but I would really recommend against it (I had a dozen) look for a guy to make you feel like that everyday (or whenever) *and* give you lits of love. Sex just gets better and better in an ltr if you both truly love each other, you always learn more about your partner's body after all. The only thing is that you don't get that feeling of novelty (you still can with roleplay or other stuff) but the trade-off is more than worth it.
>>40269250
Yep, after 6 inches there's really no point in length, it's all about girth.
>>40269271
Based. As far as dildos go iirc dual density ones are the best, just be mindful of only using water based lube with it.

>>40269310
Isn‘t it often past 6 inch in length harder to hit the prostrate too?

>>40269318
Never thought about that, but I guess that could be the case, which would make longer cocks objectively inferior, we need a white to test this out.

>>40269341
>>40269318
we need a whore*

Lol

>>40267796 (OP)
the biggest i ever saw was with a hookup once
i exclaimed oh my god when i saw it and i think it bloated up his ego (i was scared it would hurt me when he put it inside)

>>40269347
Looking at you OP

>>40267963
Whore

idk how to feel about hookups and sex when there's girls like this who have had sex with 13 guys
is it worth it to slut out? or do i just only fuck in a relationship? but i'm a shut-in and i don't know if i'm ever gonna meet anyone again, like i met my ex-bf

>>40269310
>>40269237 here
yeah, not gonna participate in hookup culture much anymore, i think the whole charade is kinda tiring and so many guys are so icky on the apps
most likely the next time i have sex is with a long term partner

sadly, I am too girthy and my gf is an anal virgin so I must survive on handjobs.

>>40269405
I'm not OP? But yeah I wouldn't trust OP, she's just all about gloating about her bfs size.
>>40269412
Relationship, 100% relationship (>>40269310). There is literally nothing to gain from hookups, retards will tell you sex experience but as a past whore now married for years I can tell you this is completely wrong, sexual experience doesn't translate at all (it might help a get a lower gag reflex and a loser hole, but those just go back to normal after a few months).

How did you meet your ex anon?
>>40269413
Good girl. Ask me anything if you want any advice (and if I have any for you).
>>40269450
Retard? No such thing as too girthy, you just have to slowly stretch her over the course of days\weeks\months (depending on how girthy and how tight we talking), use more and more fingers and you'll get there eventually, it's all about patience. Also why no BJs? And you could probe bone hump too in the meantime.

>>40267796 (OP)
>not that I've seen a ton, he's number 13
hypersexual fagbrained, ngmi

>>40269479
>Also why no BJs?

she can hardly get past the head

>>40269479
>How did you meet your ex, anon?
discord, i'm >>40268273 so hope that gives more insight
i was too tight for him and didn't stretch and i regret it, we're still in contact though and i might have a fwb thing going on with him

i have a few men, mostly older (i'm 20, they 29-33-ish, that range) that i'm friends with and could potentially have sex with but idk if that's what i want
and they are really nice guys too and a safe bet bcs they don't fuck around a lot and don't have STDs but i'm just not sure if that's what i want

i loved loved loved sex within my relationship so much, like sure it wasn't anal sex but i got my throat fucked, choked, cum on, nipples pinched and spanked into oblivion while high on weed, physically restrained etc. and it all felt really good
i just regret that i was too tight and wasn't motivated enough to stretch for him so he could fuck me properly

>>40269544
also got fingered and came hands-free :)

>>40269537
The head is where all the nerves are anyway, let her practice so she can make you cum from playing with your head, and so she learns to take it deeper. But then again it sounds like she might either isn't very sexual or very into you, could be off base on that, just don't know enough (and you shouldn't spill shit without her consent).
>>40269544
Okay yeah really sounds like relationship is the best for you, but I think right now you should focus on stretching and dildos (dual density like I said) cuz you don't want to mess up another relationship by not being stretched, once you get there you should start looking for a relationship again. Don't know your circumstances but if you still love your ex and it's mutual you could always try to rekindle (as long as he never cheated, never trust someone who broken your trust). Also maybe a switch\dom leaning tranny could be fitting for you as there would be less pressure to perform, but yeah it all depends on what you're looking for.
If you want you can be my and my husband's toy too though... Just kidding I don't know you and you're too pure.

>>40267796 (OP)
is it rlly over for 5.5 inchers :<

>>40267970
>13 at 22
What's the age of consent where you live?
If it is 7, not a big issue.
If it is 21 and you have had a guy a month, you're a whore.

>>40269802
18-22 is your god-granted time for being a whore

>>40269756
i'm too pure and i think that's a big problem with me, i'm just so inexperienced with sex and relationships

and also, i read all of your posts but i don't quite get it, what is this "dual density" thing you speak of?

>>40269780
It's not, as long as you got reasonable girth you're good anon and even
t. 5.5 incher tranny with medium girth.
>>40269827
Nonononono, you're all good sweetie.

1. Inexperience with sex isn't real, you can explore that with your life partner (and get more degenerate than any whore is really haha), it's all about both truly loving and being attracted to each other (which the former should insure the latter).

2. Okay, inexperience with relationships will definitely give you some hurtful path but it's something you only really learn by being in LTRs. I'd say the biggest part is being able to be 100% comfortable with each other you should be as open with each other as you are with the inside of you minds, by being like that you can quickly figure out compatibility, honesty, active communication, and and the trust that ensues are the backbone of a relationship. Anyway there's endless advice I could give regarding relationships, but the point is that you shouldn't feel bad about that.

3. Dual density silicone dildos are just the best type of dildo imo (at least it was 6-7 years ago. They feel the closest to real cocks and are the most comfy to do stuff with imo.

Moral of the story, one of the best part of a relationship is experiencing new things, growing together\seeing your partner grow, and by fucking around and stuff you're taking away from that. My relationship is great, but it'd have been better and stronger if we had been each other's first (retards would bring up "feeling like missing out" but that really isn't a thing if you truly love your partner). Now I don't regret anything because it ultimately led me where I am today but that's just luck and I don't know how things could have been. I also almost killed myself by engaging in dangerous shit which I don't regret either since it also brought me her but the point is that promiscuity and recklessness are things that are more likely to lead you to more negative outcomes, I just happened to luck out.

>>40269780
even 3 inch fingers reach my gspot and make my brain short out
your 5.5 inches is fine

>>40267927
2big4me

>>40269980
the thing with doing dangerous things is that i don't really feel like i've really lived up until this point and don't feel like i will until well into my late 20s/early 30s

i'm in college, i live in a small town with my parents, i commute a lot to the city, i don't pass or present femininely to people, i don't have friends irl or a lot of social skills or anything like that
i am really inexperienced in life and was always gonna end up being a "good kid" bcs other teens and now young adults in their early 20s, are going out, having tons of sex and doing drugs, forming bands and relationships while i'm just kind of a shut-in otaku girl, i'm pretty degenerate and horny but irl i am really pure and can break if put under pressure

my mental state is not well so that's why i'm scared of meeting and being in relationships with men but i also want someone to support me eventually and for me to support them, idk
it's just that my ex-bf was almost 29 and i couldn't meet his expectations of what an equal partner would be like, really and he was kind of a sugar daddy to me
ofc, he was aware and said he doesn't like it and it's one of the big reasons why he broke up with me

he basically said that if i were like 23-24, finished with college, with a decent-paying job to pull a bit more in our relationship, he would be super happy but things are just not like that right now
and i feel like i fucked up bcs i got a literal movie tier bf yet i didn't appreciate what i i had until it was gone

>>40268022
>"please fuck me I need you now the time that passes between us making love is meaningless filler"
incredibly based, i feel the same way with my bf who is 20cm long. sometimes it just feels like im laying and waiting until i'm about to be dicked down again.....

>>40270118
>the thing with doing dangerous things is that i don't really feel like i've really lived up until this point and don't feel like i will until well into my late 20s/early 30s
5 minutes of pleasure of a lifetime of pain and a shorter lifespan (in my case) is not worth it at all.

0.5. How long on HRT? Personally I do pass but I dress and act masc because that's my preference. The single biggest factor to passing is voice and long hair.

1. Okay well, sex and drugs isn't the thing that's gonna fix that, it's going out of your "habit". We are habits, I used it get crippling anxiety in social situations but by forcing myself (and sometimes ridiculing myself) I've changed internal habits and was able to be "the cool person in the room", then after marrying my husband and completely stopping socializing I've somewhat reverted back, now I feel a little anxious and get that shame feeling sometimes, but it's a lot easier to get over thanks to having learned it before. You can be one of those kids without the sex or drugs (weed is fine) is the point, you just have to force yourself, it's all about discipline, the most important quality for succeeding in life.

2. Yes that makes sense, you probably want to date someone in the same stage of life as you (expect men your age tend to be retards), that feels for you and you feel for. Do you even know what you're looking for in a partner?

3. Wait that's great isn't it? If he's still single then that means you could still get your shot with him, do exactly what he told you, focus on advancing in life so that you can be an equal partner to him. Work hard and show him that you are.

It sounds like you really need a friend though, do you have any (online or otherwise)
>>40270138
Ah I miss my husband, already been 3 months he's away sadge.

>>40270298
i have some friends online but never a friend group
i am 2 years hrt but have grown no boobs and had minimal effects, just accepting at this point but i could probably pass with longer hair and a trained voice + i'm doing laser soon

as for what i'm looking for in a partner, i really don't know, like i want comfort, i want some good sex, someone i can trust and love
i want to get rid of my terrible mental state and depression and achieve things, have hobbies i enjoy and stuff like that

i am just really far behind on everything in life and i kinda suck
as for the "coolness" factor, i don't know where to go out or what to do and i fear that i am doomed to just kinda be alone for most of my life until i die
like i suck at socializing and i have trauma from childhood and i have no money to spend on therapy right now

>>40270383
Do you VC with your friends? And do you have at least one where you can be completely open? I think it's pretty important when not in a good place.

Regarding passing yeah I suggest you let your hair grow and train your voice with discipline, if you want I can tell you if you think you have a passing body\face or one with potential atleast. For tits I find it's very tied too body fat, so if you're skinny it'd makes sense they're small. By no boobs do you mean actually nothing. Mosquito bites or small tits?

As for partners, that's all very attainable, it's just about identifying when it's there, which goes back to the foundation I previously mentioned. But yeah try to narrow it down, would you only date men? How about trannies and cissies? You'd be okay being more sexually versatile? Do you want kids? You'd be cool with 3somes or is even real life porn too much (?) Etc... Basically you want to try and figure out all the important questions, so that you can find someone you're compatible with, but then again people change and it's all about being in tune with your partner so that you don't drift away as you grow.

It's okay to be behind, you just have to start moving with DISCIPLINE, you can unironically get a great life if you do that. You do not suck, you're not doomed at all (you're really young too), and therapy is super overrated, if you can actually intelligently introspect therapy is basically useless. The Cool thing was just an example, I was in your shoes and I made it, I just had to force myself over and over again, with discipline, and a support system (a close friend). Going out wise, just try to socialize at work\college or go into social activities related to your hobby (pokemon go is my current one) most people into hobbies will be super chill (though they might be more interested in the hobby\group of friends, but don't take that as them feeling negative towards you at all, cause they don't).

>>40270695
sometimes vc, one of my friends is an older guy about my ex's age and i am totally open to him, just really open, strong friendship

sexually, i am bisexual with an extremely strong preference for men. i have not been with afab ppl but the only reason i would try to be with them is maybe to try vaginal sex before i consider srs in the far future, my experience rn is 2 trannies and 1 cis guy

as for discipline, i never learnt how to learn skills properly and i am terrible at dealing with failure
tried to learn guitar, quit, tried to learn piano, quit, tried to learn a language, quit, etc etc.
i am just, like, bad at normal people things
and don't even get me started on socializing although i'll try meeting new people this fall
i don't even wanna think about trying to pass until i can move away from my parents and start dressing femininely

>>40267796 (OP)
>>40267963
>>40268022
>>40268076
>>40268193
>>40268271
Uhh I kind of have a crush on you
You're cute

>>40270789
Just making sure, that older guy is purely a friend right, they're not grooming you or anything are they?

What do you prefer about men? I remember you haven't done any kind of penetration (oral aside) so do you think you could be interested in performing it? (it sounds like it since you mention the pussy thing)

Again, it's all habits, most people are made to do shit since childhood, us trannies usually just tend to be in situation where we NEET it for years at a time. You don't have any less potential than anyone else. You just have to force yourself over and over until you build the habit, then you turn that into discipline which you can apply to every facet of your life.
Are your parents against your transition?
>>40270842
Pedo

>>40270951
She said she's 22.

>>40270966
But you know nothing of her so I assumed you're crushing on the anime little girl, which would be pedo, if that played no part in your statement then I retract mine.

>>40271041
Yeah she just has a cute girly charming personality.

>>40270951
i have known the older guy since like 2018 and we are just incredibly open
we got horny at one point so i considered an fwb thing but he lives with his mom so he's almost never alone home
he's very emotionally mature and only hasn't moved away bcs he cares for his very sick old mom but he says he might move out in the coming years, in his 30s and immigrate to another country especially
he's also balding hard and kinda has a troll face (lol) but he's super tall and kinda humble-bragged about having a big dick lol
only had one cis gf before but he says he views me as a woman and definitely feels sexual attraction for me but he's not pushing it unless he knows we both 100% want this as just a fun thing between us as "two single friends having fun"

i just love men and masculinity (yes, body hair, muscles, deep voices, facial hair, that sorta thing), it really really turns me on, i am a little interested in women though

mom knows i'm a tranny but said she disagrees with and would never allow me to dress fem
she doesn't know i am on hrt
dad would probably kill me lol so yeah, i am closeted sorta

i need to build discipline, yeah

>>40267796 (OP)

Ughhhhh damn it I'm so jealous of you my boyfriend is barely 5 inches... damn it the fact that you get a bigger cock than me and are probably cuter and have more sex and are probably younger is making me seethe!!! Damn it i hate getting mogged. I want a big cock up my ass too damn it!! Why are you so much better than me!!!!

>>40268271

Oh my god i'm >>40271129 and I just read this and now my jealousy is so uncontainable... i never got to be on HRT as a teen or dress up or kiss boys i never got to be cute as a little girl only as a MILF why are you so much better than me!!!!!!!!!

>>40271053
Fair enough, you go queen/king.
Not gonna lie your description makes him sound pretty sus, especially given your inexperience I'm doubting your character judging ability, but I don't know enough so I might be off base. Either way I absolutely hardcore advise you to keep it completely platonic, and maybe don't meet irl lol. Otherwise I'd advise you to get a female friend or tranny friend (who isn't a gooner who'd want you) you can be close to as well.

For me men wise I really just like my husband but if I had to pick a type it'd def be tall, either slender/androgynous or built (but not fat), as hairless as possible, and of course the deep voice. I changed my tastes as I've been with my husband though, I used to be the same as you. And with time I've also gotten into women, I'm obsessed with big tatas, but otherwise I like goth/pothead homely girls, don't mine 'em overweight either, I really love older women too actually. What interests you about women?

Would it be possible to voicetrain, it is super cringeworthy and mentally painful but it's sososososo worth it. But yeah sorry about your parents, that really sucks, I was blessed with a supportive family. I started at 24 and am now 30 so I know all (a lot at least haha) about the transitioning journey lol
>>40271129
>>40271162
Man your boyfriend deserves better (probably). Take a walk or something and appreciate what you've got retard.

>>40271108
Forgot to tag you to >>40271252
>>40271053
Only the first sentence of >>40271252 is meant for you anon, my bad.

>>40271252
i've met him multiple times irl, besides that, i am a shut-in so idk where to meet people but i would like a female friend maybe

for women, i have this one girl in college that i never talk to but that entire group too honestly, i weirded them out like 2 years ago when college started bcs i was trying to act like a guy too much and they questioned my sexuality or something
idk but they completely fucked me off so yeah
but this girl, she is just, i feel such a strong desire for her, not sexual but just
she's really cute, has a country bumpkin accent, orange-yellow dyed hair, dresses in all sorts of bright colours and dresses, think sundress type of thing and is in general just really cute
but i am way too depressed and i have way too much to work on to consider having a relationship with a woman + she probably likes masc men and not well, trannies
idk, it's all a mess but i do like her a lot and i love it when we're doing lab exercises in a group with her but obviously we never talk so this is just a rabid level of obsession for her from my part
but i also wonder if i might like butch women who are interested in trannies, idk
i don't present myself fem but i am very weak, kinda slender with wide hips and so i'm basically a twink and my internal worldview is just...womanly idk

like even if i don't pass and can't express myself, i view that only as "ugh, what a bother" type obstacles and i consider myself a woman in my own internal world otherwise

i went to a clinic and voicetrained with a therapist for 4-ish months with okay results, i kinda just have a male twink voice and she said if i continued practicing it would be a female voice but it sucks having to switch when i'm home with family and stuff

honestly just really tired of life and my own anxiety and depression, i also have some summer exams for university soon and a job coming up so i really can't waste time being depressed

>>40271426
I'm still a little suspicious of the guy, how did those irl meetups go?

Well again, college and work is the main place to meet people, that aside it's gonna be bars and other festivities, and then it's gonna be hobby related activities, what are your hobbies? Also I take it you have no female OR tranny friends right?

Yeah it definitely sounds like you have a crush on her. I understand it's not a viable prospect but what do you feel if you try to imagine her kissing you or vice versa? What do you mean they fucked you off? But yeah you probably should voice train and stuff before you start getting in relationships. Still if things aren't actually too bad it could be worth talking to her while you still have the chance.

It's pretty good you're not too bothered by the state of your transition, especially considering how deeply insecure most trannies are.

Have you had people rate your voice or is that a self evaluation? I'd be willing to give it a listen (and have my husband do it too) if it's the latter. But yeah keep practicing.

Again you're super young, and you're in the hardest part of life. Things will get better, YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Maybe consider girlmoding for your job if not too late? Also how progressive is your uni? If you don't have any friends there it could be worth girlmoding there? Just yeah experience is good and uni seems like one of the safest place to get used to girlmodding.

>>40271727
the meetups went okay, we just got coffee, always met up in a public place, the guy was super respectful etc.
he's just kinda in his own world and doesn't socialize much outside of his own work and stuff

no hobbies really, i'm trying to fix that right now, i'm mostly just a massive weeb so i'm trying to join a japanese language learning society this fall, no female or tranny friends irl, like 2 female friends online though

the therapist lady played it for her students in university (the uni is basically speech, hearing and language impairment, studying to become a speech therapist) anonymously and made them rate it and the really good recordings i did were like more overwhelmingly "female" than "male", according to those students and then she said to them "well, this is what a trans person's voice sounds like, this is how i do my therapy blablabla"

i'm super young, super depressed, with no prospects of making friends and really any friend group irl (never had one) but uhh, yeah, maybe it'll get better
not gonna girlmode for my job bcs my boss is a christian, she's a nice lady and all but man, i'm not risking it for this summer part-time job
uni is like middlingly progressive but i have actual facial hair and stuff like that and short hair now so i'm not gonna risk wearing a dress right now and alienating professors
no relationships with colleagues either, like maybe passing convo about subjects but i literally do not know these people i've been going to university with for 2 years lol

>>40271794
Okay well he could be just some innocent dude, but yeah be mindful you know.

The weeb thing sounds good. But yeah could be a hobby for you? What are all your interests, is the a physical activity that would be appealing to you (then again with how busy you are it might be best to keep that for later). Oh how close to your female friends are you? And are you out to them?

Sounds great, about your voice, you could possibly pass if you tried then.

Super young is good thing, you're at the start of your adult life, it's like being level 1 in whatever game, once the ball starts rolling things will get better if you want it to and don't stop going forward, believe that.

Fair enough.

Fair enough again, but you could start shaving regularly and styling more androgynously, keep letting your hair grow, maybe try out black polish and shit like this.

I mean it's the place to try and socialize, you're gonna feel super awkward and and full of anxiety but like I explained before it's about building habits and experience, you will get better if you keep going at it, and YOU WILL be happy about that growth. Also maybe I missed it but I still don't know what you meant by "they fucked me off".

>>40272038
i don't have interests besides like reading more books probably and as i said, learning japanese
like i really spent a lot of my teen years depressed so yeah, it kinda sucks
both of my female friends know, i'm sorta close to one, the other not so much

i'm always smooth shaven, i just have anxiety about my beard shadow a little
idk how to style honestly, i haven't bought any clothes or made any outfits like ever, i just keep wearing what i did when i was in high school and was like 15 years old, so it's just like a normie style

they fucked me off because i was acting like an incel basically, with very weird preconceived notions of how men and women act in society
it's not like i hate women or anything but in high school, i was so mentally tortured by my female classmates everyday, on top of being threatened with violence from my male classmates so yeah, i had some very misanthropic feelings towards everyone, really

a series of a few really really bad jokes left a bad taste in their mouth and they just slowly removed me from their hanging out and groups, from their social life in general and it feels too awkward to bring it up now after like 2 years but i wish i hung out with them more

>>40272091
Don't play games or watch anime or what have you? But there might be book clubs and the like around you, there you could read books and discuss it with other people which could be a great way to socialize.
Oh yeah I've wanted to anhero for most of my youth, at some point I had a bad accident I put myself into and it was a big wakeup call. What's good about having a shit experience with life, is that when it gets good you'll be so much more able to appreciate it, theoretically at least.
Great, do you do anything with her?
So you have dark hair (would be great for laser)? Is it really noticeable? Sorry about that if that's the case.
Well look up androgynous styles, maybe alternative and goth as those tend to veer that way more. Ask your female friends for advice as well. But yeah a more alternate/gothy style with black polish and some metals can be pretty cool.
Shit that's pretty bad, but yeah maybe you could try apologizing for your behaviour (individually to each people). Maybe none forgive you, maybe one does, or maybe more, but you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. As far as an apology goes, it's all about taking responsibility, not making excuses, and showing you can do better. I'm serious about this, this could be an important moment of your life, don't let that opportunity slip away. No matter what it'll at least be a learning experience, you still gain something.

Again I'm really sorry about what happened to you in high school, kids are pretty cruel.

Oh and also I never saw a response, how would you feel if you tried imagining kissing or being kissed by that cute girl. Just curious if is a crush or admiration.

>>40267963
are u saying 13cm?

>>40272440
i'm reading visual novels as of late, i haven't played games in quite a while, i occasionally watch anime but really, VNs have been it for me for the past year or so but yeah, i'm always interested in some otaku thing in one way or another
i also wanna get to deltarune chapters 3+4 after exams are over

we talk a little but we don't socialize online much, i mean we talk in chat in a server we're in but it's just light casual talk, not a deep friendship or anything but i can depend on her a lot and i like her as a friend, she's a lesbian and dating this cool transgirl that's a mutual of ours
it's sorta noticeable and sorta isn't but mostly not noticeable if i shave that day
i don't know with them, they do cosplay and all that stuff and i wanted to do that too but i don't live in the city like they do and they all have a social clique and i don't want to infringe on that, i'm really anxious about it, i apologized to one girl like a year or two ago but we just never had contact after that because i was so shy, anxious and embarassed
don't feel like it's worth rekindling that connection because i just acted so badly and i'm really anxious

maybe good, i don't know, i feel like i want cis women's admiration, attention and maybe acceptance in a way
maybe it isn't sexual attraction i feel towards her but just admiration for who she is

>bait thread shot to the top of the catalog
how gullible are newtroons, go back to twitter

>>40267899
>That's a ton
you can always spot the terminally online

>>40267796 (OP)
Better than the diaper and incest threads, but this is still a shitty larp. Herbed

>>40272486
Sounds good, but yeah I'd really look up all the book related shit around you, might also have some otaku related activities you never know (or maybe you already do and I'm a retard).
Sounds great, I'd say definitely try to do friend shit together when there's the opportunity, but yeah since she's got a gf definitely be respectful of their relationship. (not that I need to say that ig)
How do you feel about shaving everyday? And once again is your hair dark?
You gotta try anon, I know the crippling anxiety, but you're never gonna get better if you don't put yourself in hard situations like these, it's a perfect opportunity for building yourself up. You;ll always feel shit and anxious if you don't push yourself anon, and if things don't go well, it'll be a little easier the next time, and the next, and so on.

It does sound like a bit of a crush, mixed with internal feelings over femininity and yourself.
>>40272508
You think OP is full of it? Just seems like a happy tranny gloating which is whatever.

>>40267796 (OP)
i prefer slightly above average instead of huge the big guys always leave me either sore or torn depending on how hard they go and i never have issue with average even if they try to break my back.

>>40272892
blown out roastie get off my board

>>40272901
What's the lore?

>>40272795
i feel okay about shaving everyday, yes my hair is dark, i'll do laser, i know
yeah, i'm just afraid of failure and react catastrophically to it

it's a bit of a crush but i also don't live in the city and she's probably pretty straight
feel like i need to self-improve a lot and just meet people elsewhere, too

>>40272956
>i feel okay about shaving everyday, yes my hair is dark, i'll do laser, i know
Great about dark hair and laser, I got light hair so been shaving for years lol. Luckily I got weak facial hair so it's just an inconveniance.
I know you are, I have been to, but it's the best way to work away those feelings. Try it with just one person and see how that goes, just don't expect anything to work out with the friend, the primary goal is for you to develop experience and that is experience so there is no failure anon.
Does she have a boyfriend? If not then everything is possible. But either way she could make a good friend too who knows. This could be part of self improvement, and it doesn't prevent you to meet friends elsewhere.

>>40273170
i don't know if she has a boyfriend, we never talk but i only know she's like a bit of a weeb and likes gaming too, that's about it
idk, i don't talk to my colleagues in class

but yeah, i'll try to socialize more

>>40273207
You mean your classmates by the way? Colleagues is for jobs, where you from if that's cool to ask? But yeah dont know what else to say, I've given you all the broad advice I got, tell me if you want anything specific. I believe in you anon, you can make it.

>>40273308
random slavic country
in my language, you call people at your university colleagues too so it kinda transfers over to my english writing but it is basically classmates, yeah
don't got anything else to say, just gonna wait for this thread to archive itself and save it, i'm feeling sleepy so i have no more energy to vent ngl lol

thanks for the advice, you and your husband have a good one

>>40273466
Thank you and likewise! I do genuinely believe in you and wish you the best sweetie.

>>40269811
it’s over…

>>40270138
i need a tall boyfriend with a big dick who smells nice

>have best friend
>he helps you girlmode
>you lead him on then go "teehee you aren't chad enough for me" and dump him
>years later she finds an actual Chad
>comes to brag to lonely hons about she's a beautiful passoid who loves her boyfriend who doesn't have a care in the world
ok bitch. it's on

>>40277130
forgot link. bitch made me so mad my brain fucked

https://strawpoll.com/05ZdzabzEn6

thank you all for voting and putting the roastie in her place. you girls did a good thing.