>>context
>godmother was basically a little sister to my mom so they're godmothers to each other's daughters (me, a now 30yo tranny, and my godsister(?)).
>godmother used to babysit (15y age gap) me as a little kid and Ive had a crush on her since I was 6 at least
>as I approach 12yo I get a lot more dysphoric so I basically barely interacted with godmother until much later in life due to being a shut in
>ffw to 2018 where I start transitioning, life gets a little better but I still feel pretty dysphoric and shit
>2 years later I randomly meet my godmother, we rekindle, she loves the "new me" and she starts inviting me over and I spent a lot of my time there, including sleepovers. I also help out with her then 15yo daughter
>me and godmommy get pretty close, eventually she asks me how I feel about her, so I tell her I like her romantically, to which she replies she sorta feels the same but with our families, her bf, and her not knowing anything about lesbian stuff (like hello I have a weener this is pretty much straight sex), that we shouldn't go further (if I pushed for it we probably woulda bang there and then but I just couldn't push myself to, idk if that's a good or bad thing)
>we drift apart and in the next year I meet my now husband
>husband changes my life, I get over most of my dysphoria and just feel like I've made it I guess
>from the start hubby, then bf, tells me he's good with me doing stuff with other women as long as I tell him first and record the act, but I only have eyes for him and just feel super monogamous

Cont.
>ffw to now, we've been married for over a year and I couldn't be fucking happier, somehow this past month some random thing got us talking and thinking about 3somes and shit (been a lot more dominant recently with my hubby, like fucking him and stuff, whereas I got into the relationship with the "don't even look at my cock" mindset, so that's why 3some idea feels different)
>earlier this week I see my godmother for the 1st time since 5y ago and hang out with her for a bit, she ends up inviting me over (daughter is now 20 and out of the house) and I tell her I need to think about it
>I felt more into her than ever, actual intense craving for her, so I talk about it with the husband and he gives me the go ahead as long as I record it
>went to see her today, flirted together and gave her an hour long, pretty intense, massage
>she randomly tells me she can't stand people who have hair down there and that she's allergic to latex
>gotta go now but she asks me if I want to sleepover on Tuesday (daughter is visiting during the weekend)
>get home and tell my husband everything
>he tells me he feels a little weird and needs some space
>couple hours later he tells me he fee terrible because he encouraged me but the idea of me sleeping with someone else or even wanting to is really hurting him
>I tell him it's all good and he's my everything etc

>>40285942 (OP)
>>40285957
And yeah now I'm just in a really weird place. I actually feel horribly bummed since it actually was really gonna happen and I really wanted it hard. On the one hand I don't want to show that to my husband because that would make him feel worse and I'd hate that. But in the other hand I don't know how to deal with those feelings, I'm actually drowning in intrusive thoughts about my godmother and I feel like if I don't do something to stop that I'd be letting him down.
Writing this all out feels like making a larp with how insane that sounds (to me at least), but yeah I'd really appreciate any advice on;
1. How do I stop\deal with this burning desire for my godmother.
2. How do I cut things off with her.
3. How do I stop feeling ultra bummed.

Also would you consider this incest?

>>40285942 (OP)
tf nigger

>>40285999
Help anon

lol, lmao even.

>>40286019
Don't laugh at me I'm genuinely struggling here anon

This is insane b8

>>40286039
desu being able to finally sleep with a childhood crush but being stopped at the last second sounds incredibly rough. it's hard for me to care because it's about a woman though.
idk what to do. i guess all wounds heal with time, or you could make a decision to cheat on your bf.
also incest to me is about ties built in childhood, not blood. that's why it's considered fucked up or whatever. but incest is based so idk you go girl.

this is why this kind of nonmonogamy is a bad idea. i swear this has literally never worked out for anyone ever. why do you never hear about "me and my wife let eachother sleep with other people, and it's going great!!!". such a bad idea

>>40285942 (OP)
Bump

>I tell him it's all good and he's my everything etc
Damn what a woman. He's a lucky guy.

>>40285965
>>40285957
>>40285942 (OP)

Youre very sick in the head anon. All 3 of you.

>>40286073
>desu being able to finally sleep with a childhood crush but being stopped at the last second sounds incredibly rough.
Yeah exactly, I had completely given up on anything like that before too, maybe it's my fault for waiting 5 years to try out my husband's exception.
>it's hard for me to care because it's about a woman though
What does that change lol
>idk what to do. i guess all wounds heal with time, or you could make a decision to cheat on your bf.
I wouldn't have married him if I didn't wanna spend my life with him, so cheating isn't an option. And even if we weren't married I just think cheating is the worse, I would just tell my partner that I need to do this and they're free to leave me or not if I could stop myself.
But yeah I guess it's just a matter of time, but the one issue is how to handle her because the issue is that I was out of country for the last 5ish years, and now whenever there's a family thing I'm gonna have to see her.
>incest is based so idk you go girl.
Thanks anon
>this is why this kind of nonmonogamy is a bad idea
The funny thing is that it's what I always thought, and I was literally telling my husband a couple weeks ago that I think he just likes the fantasy of it but in reality it would drop his stomach. We have a big thing about trusting each other though and he assured me he was sure about this, but now here we are, I have the biggest case of blueballs recorded.
>>40288467
And I'm a very lucky tranny, just a little bump in the road I suppose.
>>40288502
>Youre very sick in the head anon. All 3 of you.
Lmao

>>40286494
Forgot to tag you, this was meant for you; >>40288531
>>this is why this kind of nonmonogamy is a bad idea
>The funny thing is that it's what I always thought, and I was literally telling my husband a couple weeks ago that I think he just likes the fantasy of it but in reality it would drop his stomach. We have a big thing about trusting each other though and he assured me he was sure about this, but now here we are, I have the biggest case of blueballs recorded.

Just keep it in your pants, it's not that complicated. You don't need to fuck this woman to survive. Jack off or smt.
Also if you do this, you're implicitly giving him a hall pass of sorts to fuck someone else in the future, which he will start to wonder about sooner or later and start scouting possible partners. Would you be ok with this?

>>40286494
I know a couple who makes it work but they don't tell each other anything about the other people, don't fuck friends or common acquaintances, don't fuck them in their house, don't fuck the same person for too long, etc.
They basically do not let it interfere in any other part of their relationship.

>>40288573
>Just keep it in your pants, it's not that complicated. You don't need to fuck this woman to survive.
Where did I gave the impression I wouldn't? It's a hard time, I just don't want to show my husband it's affecting me because it would hurt him.
>Jack off or smt
That just would make me think of her, haven't had sex with him yet though.
>Also if you do this, you're implicitly giving him a hall pass of sorts to fuck someone else in the future, which he will start to wonder about sooner or later and start scouting possible partners. Would you be ok with this?
He already has a hall pass to get fucked by guys and trannies as long as he records it and stuff, but yeah with yesterday he told me he never wants that or 3somes or anything
>>40288582
Sounds horrible to me, a part of being each other's halves is to know absolutely everything about each other (me not telling him about how Im truly feeling is the worst thing I've ever done), I can't imagine nor would I ever want a relationship like that.

>>40288690
>haven't had sex with him yet though

>>40288714
Since it happened, yesterday, lmao.

>>40288690
>haven't had sex with him yet though

>>40288727
Since it happened, yesterday, lmao.
Also I saw that lol

Left a trip on sorry
Glad it's not quite as insane as it looked for a second

>>40288736
Yeah no that would have been crazy haha
Any advice for me anon, specifically on how handle my godmother since I'll be seeing her at family events and stuff

>>40288749
You need to have a frank conversation with her saying that you can't take things further

>>40288690
has he used his free pass? if so the double standard is absurd and you should go for it even if in secret

>>40285942 (OP)
Your husband is god and you need to submit to him

>>40288838
Yeah but I just don't know what reason to give, I don't wanna give her any power over my husband or anything, and yeah she's a reaaally sensitive person who has always made terrible dating partners, and I'm basically the person who's treated her the best. Like I guess a big issue is how our relationship as godmother\goddaughter is mixed with whatever this is. So yeah I really don't wanna blow things up with our family and shit.
So far I was thinking of telling her that I feel too guilty being one on one with her, so I can't do that anymore (we haven't talked about my husband so).
This is so fucked lmao
>>40288880
Nope, early on our relationship he had messaged an OF girl but I did something on the same level and we worked those out, otherwise he has watched porn here and there but so have I so same thing here.
But even if he had I would never do something gross like cheating, as I explained
>I wouldn't have married him if I didn't wanna spend my life with him, so cheating isn't an option. And even if we weren't married I just think cheating is the worse, I would just tell my partner that I need to do this and they're free to leave me or not if I could stop myself.
>>40288896
Yawn. He's my everything, but he's my equal (and sometimes he's my bitch hopping on my cock, get mad).

>>40288918
Youre not true trans anon. Youre a sociopath with lots of trauma and sexual perversions pretending to be a soft and empathetic for social points and attention

>>40289060
You think so? I've thought that about myself before, like who the fuck am I? But either way I like my body\face the way it is now and I despised it before so that's all that matters to me trans wise.

>>40288918
you could invite her over and suggest a threesome to your husband over some drinks

>>40289509
No my hubby isn't okay with 3somes anymore, but he did say that as long as we're together maybe one day he'll comfortable with it.

>>40289620
Not that I'm counting on that or anything. No matter what I need to stop obsessing over her.

Life's a hoe

>>40285965
>>40285957
>>40285942 (OP)
Jesus Christ

>>40285942 (OP)
>>40285957
>>40285965
As a chaser this is really hot, why is my life so boring, I want to be a girl and have a weird lesbian incest relationship with my former babysitter

This story isn't true and anyone who treats it as such is a porn addicted retard who absolutely needs to get outside and talk to real people.

>>40290064
What's up? For a problem huh? Lol
I've always liked you so be nice haha
>>40290259
I used to feel the same, but now I'm mot happy to be on this side. Yesterday before my husband changes his mind I was on cloud fucking 9 though.
>>40290294
Lmao, as a larp call outer this is so funny to me, it really does sound super fake. Now I wonder how many of what I think are larps are actually real. Sometime real life do be .ore crazy than fiction I suppose.

>>40285942 (OP)
It's so over

>>40285942 (OP)
>>40285957
I'm laughing my ass off this must be very good bait if not kill yourself immediatly,today now!

Infidelity and open relationships are disgusting and do not work.

>>40292133
Not bait as I explained, this is the only place I can talk about this aside my therapist whom I'll only see in a couple weeks. So why should I kms anon?
>>40292220
Agreed with you on infedility, but I think open ships depends on the couple (bad for mine it seems)

>>40288727
It's very Christian, respectable.

>>40289060
Actually you're right somewhat right Anon. Intellectually I know what I need to do and not do, but I do feel like cheating, I'm not gonna do that, I would never, but I do feel like it. And I know it's bad and judge myself as bad, but I don't actually *feel* bad for my desires. Now I understand why most people do cheat.