>go hiking with my parents and grandfather
>when we get back home, my grandfather starts looking ill
>his face is red, he's breathing heavily, his eyes are unfocused
>I ask him if he's okay
>he gives a small smile and goes "Probably not, no. I think I'd like to go see a doctor, if it's not too much trouble."
>a few seconds later, he starts coughing and choking violently
>we rush him to the hospital
>it was a severe allergy attack that takes him hours to recover from even with the hospital trying their best
>a nurse says that if he'd arrived 30 minutes later, he'd be dead
>Grandpa is fine now and joking about it
>"I can't believe it I almost died just from being around a damn flower. I know I'm in my 80s, but that excuse only goes so far. Glad the hospital saved me, would have been a lame way to go."
Is this toxic masculinity? Why do men have to larp as super tuff and kewl badasses every second of every day?

lol that's just grandpa being a grandpa, just enjoy him he sounds chill

>>40315621 (OP)
What's he supposed to do? What's toxic about this? He's 80 years old, he's clearly relieved to be alive but I doubt death is an inconceivable idea for him and on some level he's prepared for it

damn he's so epic and based pilled

>>40315642
You can be vulnerable and honest and just say "I was scared"

>>40315621 (OP)
Calling it toxic masculinity misses the point sometimes strength looks like a laugh in the face of death.

>>40315673
he doesn't want to burden you all with it so he makes a joke. what's so hard to understand?

based granpa wtf??? old men are funny as fuck

>>40315673
But he pretty much did say that. I think he is being honest and vulnerable, I guess it's just not taking the form you wanna see or something

>>40315642
I used to be a caregiver and the idea of old people making peace with death is somewhat overstated. Some do, many don't. I saw a lot of 80-somethings say "I don't want to die" and lose their shit if they knew were in a health crisis. According to gerontology studies people in the 100+ studies tend to be very zen about death but they're also barely conscious cadavers. The 70s/80s are more mixed - some are zen and detached, most are intellectually at peace during downtime but freak out and scream "Save me" once the moment actually seems to be coming.

>>40315621 (OP)
I woke up from abdominal pain one time and almost died because I didn't think the pain was bad enough for it to be appendicitis despite throwing up multiple times. It took several insistences from family before I went to the hospital.
Your grandpa brought it up before anyone else mentioned it.

>>40315621 (OP)
our brains aren't perfect and oftentimes when you are in immediate danger you won't realize it or won't think it's a big deal until it's too late. he clearly wasn't thinking clearly mid-attack.

as for what he said after the fact, what did you want him to say? it is just a harmless joke after the danger has passed, maybe he doesn't feel the need to dwell on things and potentially make your family feel bad about taking him hiking.

>>40315736
Sure, but I'm just saying the way OP's grandpa reacted doesn't seem repressed or unhealthy. I know people with that kind of attitude. It would've been toxic masculinity if he tried to tough it out and act like he didn't need to go to the hospital when he really did. It's not "toxic" for him to be relieved and happy to be alive after his near miss, rather than getting all serious about it

>>40316342
Yeah, definitely right on all of that

>>40315621 (OP)
HSWYG

>>40315621 (OP)
>>40316742
HSWYG

(and parents. and nurse)