>>40335904
>for me a career is just a way to make more money, I want money for FFS
Here's something I think about sometimes. I think people need some sort of narrative going on to make their life make sense. Cishet people get the work, family, house, kids, retirement thing just sort of handed to them. And for a lot of people that'll do you. But there are other narratives to choose from.
The trans narrative is a very shallow narrative to paint your whole life with and that's why shit is so existentially empty for people who can't imagine purpose beyond it. Usually the story goes, you're miserable, you transition, then you're happy and you can finally live.
But for people who don't pass and just have like a lot of trauma and negativity surrounding all of it and don't have the resources to transition, the shape of that narrative just completely breaks down and if they don't have something else to hold onto they're just screwed.
For me, my work is my passion. Or rather now my passion is my work. I've decided that my narrative is to master something. And to an extent I've done that. And now I'm reaping the rewards. And it took fucking forever. And it was insanely difficult. And yeah it was a satisfying narrative to live. There's so many more stories you could make your life about. You just have to pick one and larp it until you're living it.
Maybe I'm full of shit. It's very easy to just be stuck in these negative spirals that furtjer perpetuate and further justify your suffering. But also that doesn't mean the suffering is self inflicted or that you don't suffer idk. Anyway good luck I gotta go work
