Thread 40347329

Got smashed over the head with dysphoria bat at 25.
Hurts like fuck, therapist is no help, but I know it isn't valid because real Trans people know while they're very young, and I had no signs.
I need y'all toxic bitches to argue me *out* of transitioning. Convince me that this demon in my head only manifested after spending too long online. Everyone else is so "affirming" and "optimistic" but I know for a fact that I'm just a lonely, deluded cis-autist.

>>40347329 (OP)
I can’t help you because I can’t even conceive of an experience like that sorry

>>40347329 (OP)
Ask bing ai: “what would the taliban do if” and “what would the taliban think of” and “does the taliban like” and “what would the taliban’s advice be on” and avoid the things it says they would not like

How did it start to manifest?

>>40347334
Thanks for the bump though!

>>40347329 (OP)
Nah, if there were signs. You just were too dense
IK someone who found out in her mid 30s, hindsight gets funny when that happens
And besides, don't know autism and gender issues tend to come together? still, worth thinking thru and not just assuming
i knew for sure at 15, but repped until 22, currently 24. just give urself time, decisions are best taken outside the heat of the moment

We worms love this post lol

>>40347392
>finally wrestle with and pin down the fact that I might be a little gay
>get DUI, can't socialize IRL anymore
>get a VR headset and download VRC to have a place to drink "not alone"
>partying in bar servers, good stuff
>go to furry server (always been one)
>get hit on by guy
>puddle brain
>grab a femboy avatar
>start making a ton of friends
>avatars get slowly more fem
>they take down the avi I was primarily using
>only one I've got that's ERP compatible is female
>cool, just like I always do in the porn games
>very quickly become obsessed with passing
>obsessively voicetraining
>little dits of dopamine when they "assume correctly"
>ERP with straight guys exclusively
>meet trans girl
>she introduces me to her collective
>they spend the night dissassembling my drunken mind like an old motorcycle
>wake up questioning everything
>still E-crossdressing habitually 6 months later, now occasionally IRL
>I don't even ERP anymore

>>40347423
There are a few I can think of from very early childhood, but I thought I shook off all that shit during puberty

>>40347487
Sounds like you did this to yourself. Anyway, hope it works out for you.

>>40347329 (OP)
>but I know it isn't valid because real Trans people know while they're very young, and I had no signs
this is a cis person meme. you know when intersex people who had their parents choose their gender and turned out to be wrong start feeling dysphoric by? around puberty.
its not a coincidence when most of our sexual dimorphism is during puberty. feeling dysphoric from a young age while common, is not ubiquitous and you certainly dont need to fit that to be trutrans

>>40347329 (OP)
>Trans people know while they're very young
Not always. Besides repression is a crazy drug. You can not know anythings wrong for years, start digging into it and realize there are memories youve blocked out and feelings youve pushed away.

If you feel trans nona you are trans. Its not something people do because they want to or by choice. Id suggest trying diy for a bit and seeing how you feel if your worried

>>40347602
If I did it to myself, surely I can *undo* it to myself

>>40347504
Classic
>>40347487
Holy balls, yeah. No way you're cis, srry

>>40347621
Okay, but so far beyond puberty?
Like, my puberty was weak, and I am a former fat bastard, but 25 is too fucking late

>>40347329 (OP)
Based picrel op, love gunsmith cats

>>40347658
Well yeah, but help is always nice
First step in solving a problem is realizing that you have a problem

>>40347674
same, dub is so good it's my recommendation for english speakers

>>40347648
Fuck off groomer

>>40347658
Just separate attraction from identity. You like men, it doesn't mean you are a woman. What are your core values, what's your core identity? Not things you do but initial instincts.

>>40347764
>fuck off groomer
I would bet actual money you're into teen girls more than women ur age

>>40347329 (OP)
>Got smashed over the head with dysphoria bat at 25.
hsts as fuck

>>40347818
Hell no nigger

>>40347691
My psych hasn't been any help, his advice was just "go in baby steps if you want you can stop at any time"
Cool, I want you to teach me how to want to stop, because I don't want to stop, but I really really want to want to stop

>>40347764
I mean, I don't know? I never really had a super concrete sense of self, due to just shapeshifting into whatever the other person expected. I just know that I had to had been duped at somepoint, and I need to undo the reprogramming somehow.

>>40347648
I don't want to be trans
I want to shake this fucking dysphoria monkey that appeared last year

>>40347387
And I don't want to be one of *them* either

>>40348007
that your future bro. idk jerk off more or something

>>40348026
Nofap for months, no changes
Twice daily meat beatings, no changes

>>40348057
just take hrt and manmode

>>40348118
That'd nuke my dick
I mean, not like I'd ever use it for its intended purpose at this point
But that would be admitting defeat. I don't want this

>>40347895
Well I can't help but I implore you to spend plenty of time looking into it before getting a bf, I love trannies but one of my biggest fears is actually getting one only for her to detroon into someone I love but am no longer attracted to. Would be heartbreaking for both people. If I can offer this: try to think about things that really matter to you and whether they line up with femininity or masculinity. Good luck.

>>40348158
take hrt, jerk off, and manmode. you will shoot blanks if your levels are correct. you still get hard if you use it

>>40347329 (OP)
Your testimony sounds like someone who hasn't wrestled with what actually transitioning in real life around real people is going to be like. What are your thoughts on your body and life not your furry fantasyland on the internet

>>40347487
oh jesus. gooned into AGP through ROGD.

>>40348304
I crossdress irl, started at a couple furry conventions, made some local friends there, and we've go to gay bars every so often, and I do the same thing.
My style has leaned androgynous locally, I wear nail polish and makeup in public
I'd fucking move outta my home state before I take it any further than that.

>>40348341
Boom, there's the word
How the fuck do I get rid of ROGD? Everybody either claims "that doesn't exist" or "you can't"

>>40347329 (OP)
if anyone had a real answer there would probably be a lot less trans people. you're only option is too repress, reflect on what you like about being a guy an stick to those values. maybe express a little bit of femininity if you're comfortable.

>>40347866
Yeah, this needs some hard thinking. Cus right now ur head is noisier than white noise
>>40347957
There's no such things, we feel things for a reason. Even anxiety
>>40348341
AGP is retard shit, ROGD is literally not real
>>40348304
ngl, i agree. second that

>>40348605
cute wish there buddy, now get back to real life
>>40348374
smart, smart
>>40348383
we say it doesn't, because it's been proven.
yeah no shit smth so core to your identity sends you into a tailspin of questioning everything, that goes away with time as you figure more of urself out by trying things. as i said in a previous reply here, thinking with a cool head is key

>>40348654
>ROGD is literally not real
it's not ROGD when a 55 year old man with a wife and kids who has never had a problem being a man before suddenly 'cracks her egg' after scrolling reddit during a midlife crisis because... ummm... BECAUSE IT ISN'T, OKAY????

>>40348654
The noise only gets louder!
The closer I get to the "shell of the egg" the harder I yank back by running through all the ways this shit ain't valid, or real, but the thought loops are becoming more and more deep, the fucking therapy isn't helping. I lock myself in my office and cry all day, I can hardly go to the damn bathroom anymore.

>>40348670
My head is running ten fucking trillion miles a second, I lost the plot months ago, the only thing that slows it down is booze but that just makes the fucking dysphoria worse.

Just stop. You’re not that special. Bluepill and get a job and go to breweries.

>>40348670
>cute wish there buddy, now get back to real life
what the hell are u talking about thats literally all they can do besides troon out and take hrt

>>40348703
ah yes, the mythical john50. better odds of catching bigfoot in HD
>>40348983
apologies for jumping the gun. by real answer i just assumed u meant some stupid shit
>>40348860
>>40348876
shit i'm so sorry. u def need a better therapist cus damn

>>40349242
>john50
>mythical
how do you get this delusional? go on r/mtf and you'll find tons.

Focus on breathing whenever it happens. Sounds more like anxiety than being trans.

>>40350395
Honestly yeah, was gonna say earlier sounds like the thoughts are giving them an anxiety attack

>>40350631
It is, because I *know* I'm not
...but I just got back from the gay bar crossdressing, and it felt really *good*

FUCK

>>40350710
i mean, crossdressing IS fun
there's a reason drag shows have been such a long running thing

>>40350621
then why reply

>>40351198
been breaking it, but i have this "reply once, never again" rule
and it's fun to put my collection to use for once

>>40347329 (OP)
Thanks to the hard work of the Japs 1937-1945 we know cis guys forced to transition don’t enjoy it

>>40350710
crossdressing at a party at a gay bar is NOT equal to living as a woman for life.

>>40351801
AND John Money! Can't forget abt that bastard
>>40351818
simply put, true

I only know of two incidents of forcefem IRL, that 16 year old in California who they wanted to make pliable and easy to control in juvie and gave him enough to grow breasts and shrink(and also they forged parental signature and also this was all for ODD which might not exist l).

Other one is that incel moron who put E in his band mates pre-workout to try to steal his girlfriend, Diego I think .

>>40350710
Bruh being a CD is not the same as being a TS

>>40351852
Oh yeah, saw a post here about the latter recently. Wild shit

>>40351818
Well I'm not willing to experiment further here of all places. And with my mug, the decision is less "could I live as a woman?" and more "could I live as an ugly ass hon?"
I've got trans friends irl, I find myself jealous for some ungodly reason
>>40351924
I know
It's the feelings I get looking in the damn mirror I'm trying to change

>>40347329 (OP)
>I need y'all toxic bitches to argue me *out* of transitioning.
I'm arguing you do whatever the fuck will improve your quality and enjoyment of life the most. if medical or social transition will make shit better for you then do that and if it won't then don't, and addressing the dysphoria instead of trying to get people to argue you out of addressing it will probably improve your quality of life. who cares if you're a "real" trans person what matters is ensuring your life doesn't suck.

Thanks y'all, I'm convinced now I was just confused as hell. The questions still kind of nag, but after getting wasted in town and acting like a complete fag, and being comfortable with it, I think I'm probably not a woman on the inside.
...I've had this feeling before, and it always creeps back, but for now I'm alright

>>40348341
What is ROGD?

>>40347329 (OP)
>Got smashed over the head with dysphoria bat at 25.
>Hurts like fuck
I know the feeling :(
>therapist is no help
Get a better therapist?
>but I know it isn't valid because real Trans people know while they're very young
Not necessarily true
> I had no signs
Also not necessarily true. I spent a lot of time wishing I was a girl growing up and would often dream and wish of being reincarnated as a woman in high school. In college I would spend hours a day in bed going "I wish I was trans and could be pretty and stop being male like trans women do" all while telling myself I was just some fag with a futa fetish and 25 hit and I was like "oh damn maybe I am trans." Trust the process, it gets better. Even just having someone you can trust to confide these things to irl will help dysphoria. You're gonna make it.

>>40347487
This is shockingly similar to me, but I don't ERP.

>>40354402
I'll find a gender specialist therapist, I intentionally picked one that wasn't because I was terrified of having my feelings validated by a professional.
Early on I really wanted to be a girl, learned lucid dreaming to try and be one when I slept. Tried to learn how to grow boobs when puberty started. My first thought getting to second base as a teen wasn't "holy shit boobs" it was "oh, that's how those feel, good data for the dreams." I forced all that shit down in high school, transmuted it into a TF fetish, assigned the dysphoria to being an overweight sack of shit, and was "this close" to making it as a cishet white dude.
Along the way, I guess, there was stuff. Getting called a woman by your guy friends when you get drunk and histrionic probably shouldn't feel like a compliment, apparently most guys really don't like getting ma'amed by mistake, but it never bothered me. I buried it, said it never would work, layered under pictures of turborapehons and botches galore. I think I'd be happier, but I'm somewhat stable and successful now. But if I looked in the mirror and saw the grinning turbohon I know I'd become, well, I've never struggled with suicidal ideation before, but I have a feeling that'd do it. I never identified with a man's role in the world. All my guy friends give me advice on how to be, but not a word of it sounds very appealing.

>>40354519
I don't anymore, actually my sex drive has been all but dead since I started questioning

>>40353356
I'm not doubting that you want to experiment further or suggesting that your positive feeling are invalid or whatever. I'm just pointing out that here >>40347487 and here >>40348374 you describe hanging out with supportive queer people having a great time and of course that should be fun and comfortable. But you asked for reasons you might NOT be trans and it might be because you are mixing up and associating those positive experience having a good time with friends with your gender experimentation. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but living as a woman is not a 24/7 party/discord server hanging out with supportive queer friends. You will be a woman in your darkest moments alone, in your best moments when you have to brave, your intimate quiet moments with your family, when you're bored to death at work, when you're going senile in the nursing home. Not trying to do a "living as tranny SUCKS" thing but it is your life in it's entirety. I think you should reflect on that.

I feel like the only reason I would think I want to be a woman, is because at my core I'm a terrible and useless person.

>>40347329 (OP)
Just STOP THINKING ABOUT WHETHER YOU ARE TRANS OR NOT. You are chasing yourself in a circle chasing a binary. Just follow what you want to do. You want to cross dress? Do it. You don't want to? Don't do it. There's no need to attach everything to an identity label. Just be yourself.

>>40354613
>I'll find a gender specialist therapist,
You don't necessarily need a gender specialist, I started with my general therapist for other reasons and when the tranny shit was the shit I couldn't ignore anymore I took the leap of trusting her fully and it just kinda worked out.
>Along the way, I guess, there was stuff. Getting called a woman by your guy friends when you get drunk and histrionic probably shouldn't feel like a compliment, apparently most guys really don't like getting ma'amed by mistake, but it never bothered me
See there's always signs, we just get good at ignoring them or telling ourselves it happens to everyone.
>But if I looked in the mirror and saw the grinning turbohon I know I'd become, well, I've never struggled with suicidal ideation before, but I have a feeling that'd do it. I never identified with a man's role in the world
I know this feeling all too well. I was really worried when I started trying dresses and skirts on at therapy I would just feel so disgusting monstrous but it's catapulted me forward in my self perception and dealing with my dysphoria day to day. Last year I couldn't even look in the mirror without feeling physical pain and wincing and dissociating, now I just see the woman I could be the dresses she wears :)

>>40354676
That's the primary question I struggle with. It'd make my life hard as shit, but the dysphoria follows me everywhere now. When I'm out partying, I can pretty much identify as whatever and it feels alright, as long as I don't catch myself in a mirror. The substances keep the dopamine up, but it's exactly in those quiet times when it hurts worst, bored at work, at the store, getting gas, playing vidya at home. I'm wrestling with who I want to be in my 30's and beyond, how I want to grow old, the way I was gonna do it just won't cut it anymore it feels. It's always kinda sat in a steel box in my head, but now that I'm staring down the barrel of forever I have to decide soonish if I want to chase it, or shove it back down, and live with the what ifs for eternity

>>40354857
All the guys I know that just crossdress were talking about all the buildup and anxiety they had to push through, but my first time in a sports bra and off shoulder top I felt confident enough to kill god.
I haven't worn dresses or skirts since I was way little playing dressup at daycare. Doesn't seem all that appealing, but probably only because I know I'd look like shit with this monkey-ass man-mug staring back at me. Experimenting with makeup, but the contouring just makes me look like handsome squidward

Fucking shit it looped again
This morning I was fairly certain I was merely being tricked, but now I am back on that dysphoric bullshit again.

>>40347329 (OP)
If you don't transition it'll just keep getting worse.

>>40355285
Fuck's sake
Chud->Trans pipeline in action huh
I really *really* don't want to be a gigahon, where the fuck do they get all that confidence?

>>40347487
you have issues lol. thats grooming. you let others into your head.

>>40355449
It's what I've always done, only just now starting to pick the pieces up, but everything I've ever done has been in an effort to just be normal, to be whatever it was people liked and accepted. When it was just normies or chuds shuffling stuff around I was fine, but this shit is all too different, and I suddenly have to mint a stable identity that I'm willing to argue for and defend.
If it is grooming, how do you deprogram that?

>>40347329 (OP)
if you don't want to transition you have to cut all that shit out of your life. no more vr larping no more crossdressing no more internet trans spaces, you shouldn't interact with any trans/queer people in general. get drunk/high/substance of choice to manage yourself when it gets too bad. start taking testosterone and bodybuilding, get involved in some classically male groups that will hold you accountable to your masculinity.
you'll still end up cracking somewhere down the line, probably in a far worse spot than you are now, with a couple addictions and some truly insidious fetishes picked up to cope with the feelings

or you can keep going the way you are and crack your egg sooner. idk what that means for you specifically, ig you can look into the effects of hrt on your body and maybe ffs options? just from reading the thread, idk how far you'd want to take ur transtion, that's up to u

>>40356306
forgot to mention that you could possibly hold out until you die, depending on how much you hasten that and how much willpower you have. it's still gonna suck and your entire life will become about managing your dysphoria

>>40354918
My therapist cried tears of joy the first time she saw in a dress, I just had a friend tell me pics of me in a dress made her repper friend want to trans and a boymoder just told me I would look amazing on e. The feelings are unparalleled, I feel like a different and more powerful person

>>40347329 (OP)
Idk how long it's been since you realized but you may start to become aware of signs later on. I didnt realize I was trans until 21 and I felt the same as you but now looking back it's like oh wait I actually wanted to be a girl all the time as a kid and just repressed it. Even used to "pretend" to be a girl on games like roblox and minecraft in middle school. Because it was "funny" to trick guys into being attracted to me. Even remember having dreams from before I was in elementary school where I chose to be a man before I was born and regretting it immensely. Also like when my mom told me what I would have been named if I was a girl when I was little I was upset that it was a gender neutral name instead of something more feminine. (I'm happy with my name now). Anyways I don't know how you feel because im not you but I think you should transition.

>>40356306
I've deep dived HRT's effects and scoured the fuck out of the internet for FFS options (chad skull phenotype), I know what it'll do to me, i know its limits. I know that at the ripe old age of 26 I am officially too damn old, everything has already set in place. My entire life has devolved into endless rumination on the subject. Day in, day out, it never leaves my mind. But I would never, ever pass if I did, and at least as far as dipping my toes in it has gone, that very fact would kill me. I've seen and heard the horror stories, and I'm convinced they'd happen to me, every last one. I have friends that cut it from their lives, and they're still miserable.

>>40347487
yeah ur not trans. like I had really bad dysphoria at puberty onset, not when I was a old enough to rent a car... u need therapy, not the weird fetish stuff ur on old man

>>40356352
I'd look terrible on E, others have said it.
It would be a monumental, awful, expensive effort, that may very likely not pan out at all. But if I never hit that realization, I'm gonna spend the next few years at least fighting the what ifs, which are already debilitating

>>40356525
The therapy isn't *working*
At least not the way I want it to
I "know" this shit isn't real, that this is some kind of AGP, ROGD, fetishistic shit that got swooped up in my anxious autistic mind and fed into an infinite rumination machine.
I wholeheartedly believe that to be true.
I know, at least in this current span of five goddamn minutes, that I'm probably not trans, and these thoughts aren't real
But despite that, the problem PERSISTS
WHY
OKAY, I'VE NAMED THE DEMON, IT SHOULD BUGGER THE FUCK OFF ANY SECOND NOW

>>40356403
I used to do the same thing in Omegle chat rooms as a kid, up through high school pretty much.

>>40347329 (OP)
Whatever qualities you believe it would be desirable to obtain in the opposite gender, know that you will lack them. If you want to be strong like a man, estrogen sabotages it. If you want to be beautiful like a woman, testosterone sabotages it. These hormones will always be higher in you than anyone born into those sexes.

Ask yourself, what is it particularly about womanhood or manhood that seems to me so desirable that I would cause my body real harm to obtain it, and why can't I psychologically obtain it any other way than by doing so? Can I 'obtain' the strength of a man by appreciating the physique of men? Can I 'obtain' the beauty of womanhood by being romantically involved with a beautiful woman who understands me and is very much like me in personality?

In general, look to a healthier route of psychological acquisition for those traits you so desire.

>>40356708
Equally infeasible, and the route I'd been trying to take the last four years
Women and I tend to be incompatible romantically, because we seek the same things in partners. She wants a psychological rock, a provider, a protector, a shelter in the storm, a confident, unquestioning supporter. As do I. I embody none of these qualities, and have no desire to. Participating performatively in male society may give me the physical strength I'm owed by my birth, but the mental strength and outlook remain absent, despite my best efforts, and those of professionals.

>>40356559
>I "know" this shit isn't real, that this is some kind of AGP, ROGD, fetishistic shit that got swooped up in my anxious autistic mind and fed into an infinite rumination machine.
this is super self-aware of u and not a lot of ppl can say the same abt themselves. That's great! But do you have a psychiatrist? on mental health meds? they could definitely help if you're willing to give it a chance. I've heard about people with trans-related OCD, maybe it's related to that? only a professional would know. But, from someone who transitioned at 14, this really doesn't sound like a case of a trans person.

>>40356767
Well, I'll tell you this. It is infinitely more feasible for you to grow into a person who can obtain a beautiful woman than it is to become one. I'll emphasize, it is INFINITELY easier than attempting to obtain female beauty through hormones.

>>40356802
I'm on meds, I'm seeing a psych, never had trouble with OCD, just the Autism, ADHD, and recently anxiety, but that's probably the meds interacting with the titanic amount of caffeine I consume (and am slowly throttling back on)
Brain desperately wants an answer, it however refuses to accept any answer at all.

>>40356853
I've been trying that! My guy friends give the best of advice, all of them are committed, succesful, and I trust them. But it all feels performative and exhausting, trying to put on the perfect stage act to attract a mate, and then what, just keep playing that part the rest of my life? Always stressing about the next rehearsed line? Always anxious I'll say the wrong thing and the mask falls away?

>>40356904
It is almost miraculously possible to find a romantic partner for whom you don't have to constantly play the part. I know you don't believe me, but they really are out there. Granted, nobody can really understand anyone, but there are people who will try, and that's enough.

>>40347487
Yeah, it seems like self induced and completely sexual oriented, the good news is you can work on yourself and probably find healthier outlets and it should improve. Good luck anon

>>40357204
Certainly could be true, but I have to resolve the miserable ball of mental illness I've devolved into before I stand a chance of that.

>>40357240
I need advice on this! Somewhere else to dump all this shit! It's only getting worse, more debilitating by the day, I'm in therapy for christ's sake but I'm already a fucking mess shortly after the session is over! To the people who got free and clear of this delusion, I need the path out, and SOON.

>>40347487
Malebrain af sorry
Just be like the other agp reppers and treat it like a fetish, dont transition youre bad optics
>>40356708
First off you can achieve cis hormone levels pretty easily as a trans person
Telling someone to rep and skinwalk their partner is pretty funny tho. Its incredible how the agp mind works

>>40357396
Yep, knew it

>>40357650
Unfortunately we live in a society thats still homo/transphobic so being an agp male is seen as shameful. Please understand that theres nothing wrong with you and you should try to enjoy the pleasure you derive from it. Agps dont have dysphoria, but they delude themselves into it to excuse their behavior. Its not necessarily a bad thing, yes if they were cis many of their behaviors would be perceived differently but they approach it with a fundamentally male perspective/identity. The world would be a much better place if agps could be open about what they are but transition only makes sense for them if they can easily and genuinely pass as cis, otherwise you ruin your non sex life immensely just to make your sex life a bit better. Keep in mind when pink pillers do their thang theyre not trying to convince you so much as theyre trying to convince themselves that what they did was worth it. Its probably not tbhon.
Real dysphorics dont need to be groomed into it, we know when we're young and go insane if we dont troon. You literally cannot stop us from doing everything we can to feminize ourselves, theres a reason theres so many ways to diy your genitals off

>>40357852
Now *this* is the affirmation I was angling for.
Every time you trip into some ol' place and talk about anything remotely related, people come out of the woodwork to hugbox, delude, and say "oh it's okay honey, you just need a little more time ;3"
They tell me my story is "not abnormal" even when all their stories are oh so different. I was born a man, twas raised a man, and god willing I'll die a man. Trans people know they're Trans, and even if you spend far more time than necessary questioning it, if I really were a woman on the inside, I'd already know. I think anyhow.

>>40358023
I'm not saying you're wrong, but this is also exactly what I told myself in middle and high school because I knew a trans person who had known since before puberty and was on hormones already, and drew the line there as "real trans" and me as the faketrans AGP fetishist. If I had been less stupid I would have DIYed in high school.

>>40358023
Its possible to change yourself mentally and physically so its not really about being masculine, its about your motivation for wanting to be a woman. The culture is no longer about treating dysphoria or dealing with being an effeminate male its grown to be this weird "emulate your favorite fictional character" thing, especially in online circles. It genuinely ruins people but any criticism is dismissed as transphobic.
Please dont repress tho. Not transitioning doesnt mean you repress, it just means not transitioning. You can still take hrt and not transition, thats what a boymoder is. Chances are once you accept that part of yourself and its less shameful/taboo youll lose interest. Or maybe not, idk how male sex drive works.

>>40358147
Well there's gotta be a line somewhere!
If guys that go off the deep end in their 40's and 50's are just AGP midlife crisisers, or people who "discover" it in their 30's after decades of inceldom are too, and people who discover it in their teens and before are unquestionably valid, where's the line? I was 25, pretty comfortable I think, sure there were some cherry-pickable signs in adolesence and before, but where's the line? If this is immutabe biological reality, it should have hit me way, way sooner, right?

>>40358307
And why should there be a line?
Gays sure ain't having this discussion. To me it's just needless policing
Wanna do protestant self-hating "endure misery"? be my guest, but don't tell others to follow
Even If i had such control, I'd just do away with the problem and fuck off to some corner of existence cus it's all such a chore

>>40358275
My favorite fictional character was and still is Snowball from Smokey and the Bandit, or really any of the other alike characters Jerry Reed played. Aping that 70's country boy aesthetic and effortless swagger helped me overcome my social anxiety, and won a ton of respect from this itty bitty midwestern town from which I hail and remain to this day.
And my sex drive has been deader than disco for a good long while. I don't even hardly watch porn anymore. Occasionally some big ol' redneck guy that's just my type will get a little too close and I'll get a little hot and bothered, but I never really got into the stereotypical "oh here's a self insert nerdy guy changing into a pretty girl uwu" shit. I much preferred looking at pretty girls turn into jacked animal guys.

>>40358407
From the r/mtf users who get boners from wearing skirts and women's jeans, to the hyperfembrained non-T cis female passing transmascs, it's clear there's definitely a line somewhere

>>40358407
Either way I go seems like misery.
Maybe I'm grasping straws, asking the only internet cesspit I know of self-hating purity-checking schitzo trans people to invalidate my feelings so I feel more comfortable chickening out of the whole ride. Have them help me convince myself it's not "real". Have them give me ammo to keep kneecapping the urges as they crop up, and it's not "repressing" because those feelings were never true in the first place. HRT would be a total trainwreck for me, and the certainty that it would only end in even more misery is what I think I need.

>>40358408
Get topped on grindr and see how you feel about it

>>40358462
ah sure, let's worry abt the 1% and then pretend we're not different from the nutjobs on the right. genius
>>40358470
did you think they weren't true BEFORE you ever made a thread like this? cus otherwise it sounds like u got what u wanted
and u know what they say. what you want isn't always what u need

>>40358470
How tall are you? I thought id never pass when i started but i just have really bad bdd

>>40358510
Did by a guy at a Furry Convention, loved every second
>>40358511
My first rub with the "trans community" was this place, it set my expectations of what "being trans" was, and I was fairly certain that due to my incongruence with that narrow definition, I wasn't. Now that I've interacted with people outside here, the questions suddenly seemed more valid, I suddenly tick a lot more boxes in other people's definition, and I got to a bad point of hardcore anxious rumination, so I came back here to get reminded, I guess

>>40358520
5' 10"
Huge nose, caveman brow, jawline that could cut glass. At least I have all my hair, and almost no body hair.

>>40358552
>>40358559
Just be a furry and have lots of say gex
Be a female wolf or whatever and forget about tranny shit :D

>>40358559
This describes me to a T, except I fo have body hair. Sucks, man.

>>40358552
fair enough point. and that explains a fair bit

>>40358782
I'm going categorically insane.
Therapist says to just be myself, take things at my own pace, worry about the moment, and not so much the future. But I'm actively melting down under the weight of having no identity whatsoever. I crave an answer desperately, but if I ever think about it even a little, I devolve very quickly into useless, agonizing rumination for hours and hours. Nothing I've tried fits, no set of words seats well in my mind.

>>40359041
And this my friend, is the nightmare of identity
def recommend to keep trying stuff. elimination game essentially

>>40359373
Well, if there's one thing I learned from tonight's crashout, is that the old, dated version of masculinity I had just doesn't stick anymore, no matter how hard I cling to 'er.