>tried taking hrt at 24 and did it for a year then stopped
>restarted again a few years later but then stopped again
>pathetically considering doing it again at 30
i just want this cycle to end i wish i just trooned and moved on with my life but i just fucked everything up

>>40402726 (OP)
Why did u restart
I stopped two weeks ago hope this doesn’t happen to me

Pick a side before your bones fucking die holy shit

>>40402737
>Why did u restart
because the feeling never goes away and it's only gotten worse
rn i literally regret my entire life so far and wish i started hrt sooner and never stopped
>I stopped two weeks ago hope this doesn’t happen to me
why did you stop?

>>40402752
each restart was like months or years apart

hell yeah dude just keep starting and stopping hormone replacement therapy something cool might happen

>>40402756
>something cool might happen
that something cool is i start hrt then don't stop
i stop because i'm a retard then i have a breakdown and restart

>>40402726 (OP)
Is it really you being a "coward" or is where you live a hostile/dangerous place to be trans?
>>40402737
Well, you're not them so…

>>40402773
>Is it really you being a "coward"
yes i completely fucked my life up when i lost my job and moved back in with my parents house
i know the exact day everything went wrong
>is where you live a hostile/dangerous place to be trans?
not really i think? unless all of america is bad but my area should be fine for now

>>40402798
>Coward
I guess so
>Unsafe
In a sense, it is. But hey, that's good to hear

>>40402755
did u stop just bc u were scared or
I stopped bc I dont think I ever had dysphoria I just have bdd, also even if I was a troon I could never pass. I’m scared I’ll restart tho bc i feel like shit rn and I hate having T skin

>>40402825
>>Coward
>I guess so
yeah. i'm pathetic
>>Unsafe
>In a sense, it is. But hey, that's good to hear
is it really that unsafe here?

>>40402837
>I stopped bc I dont think I ever had dysphoria I just have bdd, also even if I was a troon I could never pass.
i tell myself it's for these reasons but it's an excuse to justify not doing it because i'm scared

>>40402869
I’m like 99.9% sure I’m not trans tho, like I just don’t really relate to women and can’t picture myself living as one. I always just wanted to go on e bc I hate my body and I think I should find other ways of coping with that

>>40402882
>I always just wanted to go on e bc I hate my body and I think I should find other ways of coping with that
this is exactly what i told myself as i was quitting. there's no other coping mechanism unless you want to live with the pain until you're 30 and still crying over it

>>40402939
did u try working out tho or did u not change any of your habits. I think part of it for me is I’m really skinny but too ugly to be a twink so I became obsessed with wanting to look prettier and more feminine, I’m thinking maybe I had a normal fit male bod I’d be happier and then maybe I’ll still get some minor facial surgery

>>40402869
Self deprecating will not help you, ever
Not American, but they're getting dragged down into an authoritarian shithole with increasing poverty, and intentionally too

>>40402737
you'll know within about 3 months cause it'llcomeback. if it comes back just stay on.
cause fuck that cycle.

also you may value other parts of life more. that hrt isnt going to cover.
you'll have to weight it out. the +/-
seems like you're stilltrying to figure yourself out.

if in some months you find yourself browsing ways to purchase hrt again, take the hint.

>>40402981
it’s a very conscious decision for me to stop tho even though I like being on E I know deep down I’m not trans and I can’t keep going on like this, I’m sure I’ll soon want to start again but I’ll be prepared to stop myself

Maybe You should start socially transiting and voice train. can remove you face hair

>>40403038
> I know deep down I’m not trans
Lol its the same for me, I'm just a gay dude taking hrt but my life is just so much better looking like a woman than a guy.
Why does that feeling deep down in you stop you from using HRT? Just keep taking it

>>40403050
bc I just have a really masculine demeanor and voice and recently I’ve been malefailing occasionally which is just really weird and awkward and it’s made me think this just isn’t a realistic long term identity, androgyny is really for the kids

>>40403079
>androgyny is really for the kids
Eh, idk I saw some stunning transitions for some 28y olds but at the end you kinda have to commit either way imo

>>40403126
exactly and I know I can’t live as a woman bc I’m not trans and just generally too large to ever pass. I only wanted e bc I wanted to look cute and i just think I should stop caring so much about my appearance or at least set more normal, realistic goals

>>40403147
i mean, what bodily situation are we talking about
are you like 6'3 or smth? Like what are your current measurements

>>40403226
im 5’11 worst is prob by shoulders at 15.5in biac also 32in ribcage
but again im stopping mostly for identity reasons being a permahon just helps me decide

>>40403309
ribcage is totally fine if you're not anorexic
I would rate your unsee but understandable if you dont wanna post.
At 30y you will be suffering more of the age effects than testosterone imo. if you want to at least maintain your current appearance, taking E is really not that bad if you lean more into the pretty boy character and down the line get a masectomy, i know of at least one femboy that basically did that. Masectomies aren't super expensive so they just kept taking hrt until the breasts got too big to hide and removed them

>>40403366
oh yea also fertility / penis wise, using testosterone gel on the genitals ig but not sure rn if you can still shoot sperm

>>40403366
well i don’t think measurements mean much anyway I just know I look huge compared to all the cis women I know even the tall ones. And again a bigger reason why I want to stop is just to get away from trannyism and caring about my appearance so much, like i know I’m perfectly capable of pretending to be a normal man so I feel it’s time to BE a normal man. But if in a few weeks I start going insane when my T shoots back up then maybe I’ll consider other options

>>40403399
jfc dont detroon! you made this thread to hear that so Im telling it to you. You know youre a tranny stop with the cope and just manmode.

>>40403420
I’m not op I’m this anon>>40402737

>>40402957
>did u try working out tho or did u not change any of your habits.
i was working out and changing a lot when i was trooning
now i'm a neet who doesn't really go outside

>>40402966
>Self deprecating will not help you, ever
it's just if i can't commit to it why bother

>Not American, but they're getting dragged down into an authoritarian shithole with increasing poverty, and intentionally too
which for some reason has trans rights dragged in

>>40402992
>if in some months you find yourself browsing ways to purchase hrt again, take the hint.
every time i restart its because i have a mental breakdown and i'm having a mental breakdown rn

>>40403046
>Maybe You should start socially transiting and voice train.
i don't want to get hatecrimed. i already feel nervous being on hrt

>>40402882
my mom hates other woman too, you could just be like her

>>40404214
jesus christ, either forget the tranny stuff ever happened or fucking COMMIT
You are going to kill yourself if you don't escape purgatory.

>>40404229
>jesus christ, either forget the tranny stuff ever happened or fucking COMMIT
i can't forget it and it's been getting worse

>You are going to kill yourself if you don't escape purgatory.
i'm not going to kill myself but yeah it feels like purgatory ever since i stopped
restarting hrt at 30 is kinda pathetic and i'm just not sure if i will commit this time

>>40404265
Just do it, the only one who decides if you commit is you.

>>40404274
yeah just feels like it's getting harder to get hrt as well
like i only transitioned because it was easy at the time