Thread 40437105

QOTT: were your rolemodels growing up real or fictional?
last thread: >>40414809

I want to drink, but if I drink I'll be three times more depressed and it will take me a week to recover.

>>40437105 (OP)
I didn't have any rolemodels.

>>40437143
same. i respected and admired people who worked with animals i guess because i wanted to.

moids don't have real problems so they choose to suffer about not being an anime girl

>>40437171
moid has been spammed by trannies so much that it's lost all bite. it's just the same sort of insult as incel now, lame and overused.

>>40437171
yes actually
I WANT TO BE A HOT ANIME GIRL

>>40437171
id be 100% okay with being a frumpy unattractive normalfag cis woman
420RG

>>40437171
kys

alt tabbing in and out of the listing for estrogen spray obsessively again

I get the whole not wanting to present too fem thing. Straight men were told by society that being a fem male is a joke so we interlize this. And some of it is laziness. Putting in the work to learn makeup and hair care, etc.

>>40437226
i am pretty sure that drinking farm run off would feminize you better than fucking estrogen sprays

>>40437171
I'll bite.
I don't understand the repper hate. Why hate us? We know our desires are weird and impossible, so we rep. That's like bullying an ex alcoholic about wanting to drink beer, they know they shouldn't, but they can't help but have cravings.
Go torment the mtfs instead. They're the ones "throwing their male bodies away" or whatever.

>>40437254
you're just wrong desu look up transdermal estrogen

>>40437171
i suffer because i don't have a dominant femrepper gf

I just started coming back here recently in in the past few weeks and there didn't used to be a femrepper culture here. They must had been on some other site . Where did they come from

>>40437286
some retard started spamming their threads and now they want revenge by returning the favor or smth
i do think its just one person tho

>>40436969
>I'll probably get a generic CS degree
Well if you want to do full dive, transhumanist VR you're going to need to either get into AI or biomedical research

>pray some rich billionaire wants to fund it so development goes further.
They do want to fund it, Zuckerberg is paying millions for AI and VR engineers
Elon as well but I'm not taking a brain chip from him

>I have 0 interest in using this tech for gooner reasons,
You're telling me if you had working boobs and a vagina you wouldn't try them out even once?

>>40437059
If FDVR existed I would first give myself a female body that I like, and then work through my past trauma and mental issues. Part of that probably will involve experimenting sexually so I can get rid of some of the hangups that make it hard for me to enjoy sex
And then once that's done with I can grow a massive futa cock and fuck and be fucked like crazy without crying over feeling like a man

>>40437198
this, call me weird (we all are to begin with by posting here) but a fantasy of mine is swapping bodies with a fat loser woman and fixing her body up, like flipping a house

>>40437443
Id be a hot anime girl roastie bitch so fast if fdvr becomes real hnggg

repper manga recommendations?

Kate moss

>>40437606
don't forget to put a tampon in your hemorrhoidal asshole before you go to bed, sweatie

>>40437662
anything by shuzo oshimi
picrel is his most repper coded work tho

>>40437715
inside mari is such a hard read man, i had to quit after 30 chapters of so because my chest wouldn't stop hurting from the sheer depression it was putting me in

>>40437680
ew i dont like butt stuff though
I want a anime foid cunt

>>40437606
>Id be a hot anime girl roastie bitch so fast
All of us would be

So I want to get rid of the chubby belly and neck so I started starving myself. Or is it fasting if I do eat 1 meal?

>>40437745
>>40438014
amab """dysphoria""". what are you even doing here? wanting to become an unattainable 2d picture aligns with schizophrenia more than it does with lgbt, go back to >>>/x/

>>40438108
please ruthlessly peg my bussy daddy uwu

>>40438108
i do legitimately think i have schizophrenia but i don't want to be an anime girl. i should technically be bi but i have that weird demented agp sexuality where ALL my attraction to men is dick focused and imagining i'm fucking/blowing/worshipping them as a woman. i don't actually like men at all. i just have a fixation on their dicks in agp perverted fantasies. i hate myself a lot.

>>40438610
also i fully recognize that it is an impossible fantasy to live out irl and have more or less accepted at this point it's just something my brain has to do to get off and that it would be disgusting to do gay acts irl. i don't even see myself as lgbt, just a permavirgin straight man with a porn addiction.

i fucking hate this board and the way 90% of people talk so flippantly about sex and relationships. that's all of 4chan now though. people can't go two seconds without bringing up their gf, wife, ex, just sex in general. even if it's mostly larping it makes me so fucking angry because i have a demented and disgusting sexuality and i will never experience sex or intimacy despite wanting it.

>>40438819
in fact i'm just gonna leave again since clearly this too is a sex haver board. just a sex haver normalfag site now. so depressing, literally nowhere for outcasts online nowadays.

>>40437105 (OP)
I never had any role models. I just tried to learn from other people’s mistakes rather than my own.

>>40437105 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

the thoughts are back, but i was free of torment for 4 hours or so
new record

>>40439847
They need to invent the ribcage shrinking pill first.

Being in a straight relationship is probably not going to stop the tranny thoughts. Maybe I just need to channel more of my miniscule bi-ness and then try and develop aap so I end up liking my male body

>>40438994
I'm going to become a sex normie haver in the next two years.

>>40440088
This.

>>40440307
I'm thinking about getting a girlfriend to emulate a female friendship. This is the level of my mental deterioration.

>>40437171
the post that obliterated repgen

>>40439847
i'm scared

>>40437171
>moids don't have real problems so they choose to suffer about not being an anime girl
kinda true but also i would genuinely pay millions to become an anime girl

How 2 rep sucessfully in 4 steps:
>Live healthy
Eat well, sleep well, go outside, talk to people, do something that gives your life meaning, practice gratitude. Etc etc. Obvious shit.
>Stop identifying as trans
It's a fake identity and will only help you to feel more ill and inadequate. Fact is, you are a human with free will who can have weird quirks but doesnt have to confine themselves to some made-up globohomo identity
>Leave this place
Don't talk to reppers, trannies or any lgbt. Dont follow trans-related social media. Delete any accounts you have where you larp as the opposite sex. Don't look at gender bender erotic stuff. Quit cold turkey, dont even look back. You're only feeding your bad side by consuming that.
>Corrections
Whenever you feel your mind drift back to dysphoric thought patterns, take a moment to correct it and direct your thoughts towards better things. "I dont actually want that/need that" etc. Will feel pointless at first but conditioning effect will get stronger over time until the bad thought patterns will dissapear.
>Be consistent
Do all of the aforementioned with utmost discipline for at least 3 months and for like 90% of you, you will see significant life quality improvement. If you still feel heavily dysphoric after all of that, talk to a shrink, get meds.

>>40437105 (OP)
I never really looked up to anyone, maybe my cousin but that’s bc he put me on Minecraft and video games

>>40441131
Thanks Mr. no GD for your complete misunderstanding of how mental illness works.

>>40441322
idk seems like the only thing that could possibly help you cope with gd. its basic cbt

>>40441322
Most people here are not actually mentally ill

>>40441601
You know reppers don't show up on these charts, right?

>>40441638
It's a good indicator for how the growth curve for reppers would look like.

>>40441709
No it isn't, because reppers are people who, in your philosophy, did not get psyoped, and yet still have GD. If it's all external then they're those who were not influenced by external factors.

>>40441751
Thats not my philosophy, thats your headcanon. Anyway, I hope you'll learn to stop reveling in your suffering one day.

still out here wishing to be a sexy anime foid

You all ever feel like you were supposed to be a manly man but didn't get the memo? I grew up sheltered and felt a lot of weird hate when growing out of adolescence into young adulthood and thought this was just some weird hate because I was insecure or something. Now looking back I realize that a lot of it was just from being in a conservative town and failing to meet manlyhood expectations. Like it was okay to be a little faggy as a teen, but as a man? Now you're pushing it

>>40441601
i'm gonna john 50 aren't i :(

>>40441601
That 80% rise in 18-24 is ropefuel
T. 30 year old repper

have you ever considered being a gay man

>>40442935
im not gay

>>40441441
cbt is a scam, kys

>>40442935
yes but i hate being a man so it still makes me feel like shit

the swedish medical system loves torturing people like me. a prison specifically made to make me kill myself, and theyre all in on it

Am I femanie enough to be trans?

>>40437180
>insult
I don't think it's even meant to be one most of the time nowadays, it's like troon or rightoid or straggot or chaser

>>40441131
i tried doing this multiple times and it never worked long term

>>40443733
please elaborate?

>>40441131
>talk to a shrink, get meds.
wh- what meds?

>>40443733
I know. It can be soul crushing :(

Just tossed my bottle of honpills into the trash. Here's hoping I don't regret it.

I want to be a (horse)girl

>>40442935
My window for gay sex has already closed.

I wish my life had some meaning other than dysphoria. All I ever wanted, and all the universe ever threw in my face that I couldn't have, was to be a girl. Everything else seems false to me.

I certainly won't regret not committing suicide in my youth if I can enjoy the escapism that will constitute my life until the end. But what I really want is not to die with the conviction that my life was a gigantic frustration.

>hrt makes women look like men, just framelet ones
>hrt doesn't make men look like women
born the suboptimal sex to even properly transition, hilarious

not female enough to be trans
not male enough to be male
not enby enough to be enby

>>40438819
Normalfags hate losers and seek out websites where they gather so they can bully them out. Fucking hate normalfags so fucking much

>>40446972
If you take hrt you will be non-binary (I think that's what enby means)

Can AI girlfriends help you repress?

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>40447124
no but it will give you a new and interesting mental illness

>>40447114
i'm not actually non-binary enough to take hrt

Religious reppers here?

>>40442935
I can’t be a gay man I’m not feminine enough

>>40442935
everyone here is agp aka heterosexual men

>>40447656
I'm not, I'm bi.

>>40447669
I'll give you $100 if you can jerk yourself off to completion using only a picture of a hairy muscular man.
prediction: you CAN'T because you are pseudobi aka agp

>>40447686
nta but I can do that. i've jerked off to many men before.

>>40447686
nta but i could do that easily if i imagined giving the hairy muscular man a bj

AGP + depression create the pseudo-dysphoria reppers and AGP troons feel.
>have agp since birth
>just fascinated with the idea of being a woman for some reason
>life is good
>then it isn't
>whether the depression comes from the enviroment or just fucky brain chemicals, you feel drained
>only source of joy is the agp
>wait
>what if im a woman, and living as a man is causing me this pain?
>troon out
>nothing happens physically or emotionally because hrt does nothing and the depression wasn't caused by "dysphoria"
>rope
No thanks. I'll just cope with my AGP and depression some other way (being a cute kigu)

>>40447686
>Hairy muscular men
Bro why do you have such a narrow view of men? I prefer twinks and nerdy guys and don't like body hair on anybody. I could still do it though if he has a cute face, or if I fantasized about a scenario. Bodies are less relevant, mentally speaking, than getting manhandled or imagining some super romantic scene in my head. Those are always nice.

>>40447706
What if I got depression because I got bullied for wanting to be a girl?

>>40447720
>Bodies are less relevant, mentally speaking, than getting manhandled or imagining some super romantic scene in my head.
That's just using the men as literal biological dildos, that's just a fetish by any definition of the word.

>>40447706
Based kigurepper. One day. One day, when I have the money.
>>40447720
Same and based. Though the body hair thing is kind of a toss-up. It very much depends.

>>40447763
You have literally never interacted with a woman in your life if you think she doesn't like scenarios. Why do you think the romance genre is so popular? It's not the covers, it's the content.
>>40447785
I think I hate body hair so much because of my caveman-like body hair coverage. Loathing it in myself resulting in loathing it in others.

>>40448022
>You have literally never interacted with a woman in your life if you think she doesn't like scenarios.
Okay but you are not a woman
Q.E.D.

>>40447763
just kill yourself already

>>40448125
And? What's your point? Women aren't some kind of cryptid that works psychologically different from men. Besides, I also told you that I find twinks and cute nerdy guys physically attractive, too. Remember that?

>>40448196
>Women aren't some kind of cryptid that works psychologically different from men.
They sort of are

>>40448022
That is fair but I do find some appeal in opposites attracting. Maybe it's just my bisexuality.

>>40438610
Im a cisf lurker and this is literally my sexuality …

>>40448639
why are you lurking on repgen as a cisf

>>40447706
stop posting about kigu or we'll become the fastest kigu gen on the entire site

>>40448715
shes investing early

>>40448639
isn't this the average cisf sexuality, like the majority are actually agp

>>40441808
giwtwm

>>40448916
no

>>40449039
These all feel too perverted to relate to. I don't really have much arousal surrounding the idea of becoming a woman, and I don't desire the idea of being in a relationship as a woman, either; all I feel is a weirdly hollow fuzzy feeling in my chest that gets worse when I see a woman I wish I could look like out in public, i.e. yearning.

I never got turned on wearing womens clothing. But i got turned on with my body when i tried HRT. I assume that will go away at some point

>>40449039
this is not agp

>>40449406
this is agp
>>40449377
it will only go away because you are chemically castrated and have lost your libido

>>40449527
Do women not have a libido?

>>40449547
different kind of libido
your male libido dies with hrt, that's why you don't get turned on by crossdressing after a while on estrogen

>>40449561
what does it feel like instead?

>>40437105 (OP)
Opinions?

>>40450420
soft gay Man with a capital M
ancient greek fags would've gone nuts over you

>>40450599
ouch.

>>40449039
See, people try to accuse me of being agp for being bisexual and then I read shit like this and I can comfortably report that I have NEVER gotten off on things like that.

Spotted a transwomen in public. the older normie dressing type. tried not to to clock her. She was next to me at the self checkout. I might have came off nervous bagging my stuff. like i had my stuff in the bagging area by mistake . the clerk came and told me. I was spilling my spaghetti .

if i were a woman id try to become a vtuber
the amount of money in that industry is frankly insane, just pretend to be girly while having nerdy knowledge and a cute/sexy model and the weebs will swoon over you and open their wallets with no resistance. male vtubers arent nearly as popular as female vtubers for obvious reasons, and they dont have nearly the same hold on their viewers, such a shame
but alas god intended me to be a broke skeleton with no friends

>>40451661
Voice train, then. There's multiple trannies trying to make it as vtubers, some pretending to be bio women, and not one of them has done voice training. You can be the first, and nobody would know.

>>40451730
that's all fine and dandy, until a small mistake occurs. maybe i sneeze too hard, or cough into the mic and my male (real) voice comes out, and it's over for me.
vtuber fans are fucking psychotic and i'm honestly terrified of what would happen to me if they realized "they've been tricked"

>>40451810
Really dedicated voice trainers train their sneezes and coughs to pass. Also, push to talk instead of open mic, anon.

>>40452000
you got me there. im too much of a coward to actually try to pull that off though

>>40452000
Fuck i have an abnormally loud sneeze

>>40448715
Makes me feel better about being a woman i guess. I am not a pooner and dont have any gender dysphoria but ive been on 4chan since like childhood so i got exposed to a lot of woman hating which made me feel bad about it so i like seeing it glorified

>>40452214
what are your thoughts on reppers

>>40452214
>am not a pooner and dont have any gender dysphoria
why are you on this board

>>40452341
she just answered dumbass

Discord friend I confided some stuff to thinks I am an egg. This is my first time checking this gen, I use bigen.
>>40437745
Holy shit, Cylcia=code panels on lgbt. Based.

>>40452000
They'll eventually slip up. Imagine having a perfectly female-sounding voice, passing amazingly well, but going on a trip with friends and your snore is 100% male.

>>40452567
that sounds really not bad at all

>>40441131
I took a screenshot and will come back in 3 months to see if I have improved.

>>40452364
she answered why she was in >this< thread, not the board itself

>>40441131
How fucking sad that you have to do all of this just to still stay a mentally ill schizo tranny-minded freak
This life is a curse

>be moid
>be agp
>be ugly neverpasser (too masculine to be pretty, but not enough to be a chad)
>be repper
>be misogynistic
>be porn addict (weeb flavor)
>be lazy and stupid
there is literally no other path for me to take other than being a repcoomer
>>40452437
if only it wasnt rushed

>>40452567
in this case there's not really a feminine snore desu my mom is a prime example

REPPERbump
0HKKK

ywn be a hot anime girl loli

Feels bad man

cant believe i'll die without living.

>>40447706
this. agp is a curse and trooning out makes you kill yourself. Better to cope somehow

>>40447706
Gender Dysphoria is known to affect the parts of the brain which govern stress

i envy the agp for whom gender dysphoria is a fetish. at least fetishes are a problem men have plenty of resources to cope with. i wish i was sexually aroused by this shit instead of whatever the fuck i'm feeling

>>40447686
nta but i can jerk myself off to completion using literally nothing. i hate my libido so much i trained my body to be able to relieve it as quickly as possible

>>40447706
I wish I could afford to get into kigu stuff.
>>40453808
Yeah, I'm a bit upset how quick they ended it.

just browsed r slash mtf for like 10 minutes and i seriously wonder why trannies haven't done a single thing to remove themselves away from that kind of person
why the fuck would you troon out knowing the masses think you're some kind of sex freak that gets off on being clocky
literal social suicide
300k members btw
is this what the majority of trannies are actually like? has it always been this way, or this is a new thing?

i want to be a loli-
>>40454886
ACK

>>40447706
wouldn't it feel horrible when you have to take the kig off

>>40455247
nobody said that you have to do that

>>40455240
PLEASE JUST LET ME BE A 9 YEAR OLD ANIME GIRL

>>40455240
>>40455254
autopedophilia alert
this person is literally attracted to 9 year old girls

>>40455365
That's just being trans

iwn

>>40455808
Me not in this photo because I like men.

>>40455834
I like men too. I like anyone really. Unfortunately no one likes me.

>>40455250
>>40455254
>>40455390
supremely based

I'm manmoding and I'm waiting

I hate seeing transwomen
Why do they get to do it, but not me? How is that fair?
"Life's not fair", yeah, well fuck off. Why do I get the short straw when it could be any of them? Not even all of them, I could trade places with any single one. But no, I'm me and they're them. It's not enough I was made wrong, I also have to have it rubbed in my face that you can theoretically make it right, that other people can make it right, but not me. Fuck this. Fuck their phony solidarity as well. Tuck me in, let me die.

>>40455960
you don't always get what you want, sometimes you get the opposite and a lot of it

>>40455215
This was the perception when I was a teen too, which is why I absolutely rejected the idea of identifying as one back then.

>>40447706
>just fascinated with the idea of being a woman for some reason
>only source of joy is agp
>what if im a woman, and living as a man is causing me this pain?
I went through this in my early 20s and after I trooned life is better. Turns out living as a woman as an agp haver is what you're supposed to do, this way you feel like there's a point in continuing to live

>>40456445
>living as a woman
i could never

I'm such a fucking stereotypical agp it pisses me off. The only difference is I don't like programming but the rest I hit damn near 100%

>>40456445
theres a difference between porn addicted agp and the troon mental illness that agps have that makes them want to do foidy stuff irl instead of just compartmentalizing it to porn self insert fantasies

>>40456781
>porn addicted agp Is different from tranny agp
I don't know about that.
Every self described porn addicted agp I've seen on this board said that they started being fascinated with feminization and sex changes super early, it was teir first sex-related google search in most cases, while normal straight boys google "big boobs" and shit like that

>>40456445
can you live as a woman if you don't have the chance of looking like one? i have no reason to live at all, and picrel just puts the nail in the coffin that trooning will just make me more miserable
its not fair, but what can i do? troon out anyway and ignore the fact that my body is not fit for that? hope it will make me happier when the world will permanently see me as a lunatic?
i get transitioning can be a good idea if you can pass, but i missed that bus years ago. repping is the only way now.

>>40456840
I didn't realize I was trans until I was in my mid twenties.

t. mild dysphoria haver

>>40456840
idk about that
my first porn searches were like, cortana from halo
yes picrel isnt cortana, whatever

why do i even try, nothing i will ever do make me a woman
my body hair is the worst if i shave its visible in the same day i should just kms now and be done with life

>>40456445
>>40456901
I realized at 22 after a long time of "it's just a fetish" coping and trying hard to be masc - shit happens due to repping unfortunately, so mid 20s for realizing isn't super bad and was normal before the 2000s.
Yeah getting t poisoned more than youngshits is horrifying, but all that "validity" stuff about "you're not trans unless you realized at 14" is bullshit
>I went through this in my early 20s and after I trooned life is better

>>40457196
Body hair is thankfully one of the most solvable problems, though it takes time. Laser will eventually nuke it, and electro will keep it gone. Not that anyone is mad enough to electro the whole body.

>>40457196
shr is not as important for passing as whr, there are studies that confirm this

>>40457308
Eh, I realized what it was as soon as I learned the T even existed at like 15, (it seems so omnipresent now, but sheltered kids in conservative areas in the 90's and 00's obviously had no idea as a rule) but that didn't stop me from burying it under layers of cope and repping until I got too old to do anything about it. So I don't think realizing and repping, even when young, are really mutually exclusive.

>want to be a futa
>masturbate
>want to be a woman
AGAMP never ends

You come across a weird microwave in your front door one day. It has a note attached to it that says:
>This is a time machine.
>It will send a message to the past to any device that could receive messages.
>This may change the future. You may or may not remember your past timeline.
>You can only send up to 36 bytes of data (36 ASCII characters).
>It is damaged, and will break after one use.
>Use it wisely.
Opening the microwave you find a notebook. Reading it you find poorly written instrunctions on how to operate this device clearly written by someone using an outdated machine translation software.
What do you send?

>>40457366
it's not worth it

>>40457322
nothing matters

>>40456840
i watched regular porn first because thats what my friends watched i guess, then i saw tranny porn in a discord NSFW channel when i was around 13 and i only watched tranny porn after that

are there any hrt reppers that still use their dicks?

>>40457380
do you actually still enjoy fapping while on limpdick juice wtf

>>40457411
some trannies still use their dick because they don't have bottom dysphoria

>>40457376
The entire point is that this is changeable...

>>40456781
My preferences for character design in games usually ends up looking kinda like that and hitsugi from pso2. My chuuni heart wants to be a genki ponytail dorky imouto but on the other half my chuuni heart wants to be like a seta soujiro like character. It isn't from porn entirely, more of a feeling that I couldn't be liked as myself.
>>40456478
Idk what the stereotypes there are which is why I came in here because people said I am a stereotype for agp.

>>40457422
it doesnt matter, im on the 10th percentile in everything even trying wont fix this it will never change at best ill be like 30-40 percentile still leaving me forever male for anyone to see, nothing i will do matter i just cant do it

>>40457464
This is the kind of retarded self-pity that shouldn't be in repgen

>>40457475
what do you want me to do, where else would i even post this

>>40457376
>nothing matters
that's exactly why you should start HRT manmoding and doing laser. What's the point of making shit harder on yourself if you're still existing on this planet?

>>40458255
i just started hrt manmoding, laser so far didnt change anything (6 months)

>>40458262
6 months, I'm assuming 6 sessions of face laser and no effect whatsoever? that's weird

>>40458296
no face yet, just body, im a neet and cant pay for face kms now

are there reppers that read Dorley

>>40437105 (OP)
I can't even tell whether I am actually repressing anything at this point. I can't tell whether I actually really desire to be a woman. I can't tell whether I am dysphoric. I can't tell whether there is anything I like about being a man.
All I know is that I'm fully swamped in apathy and nothing matters to me and I don't want that to be the case anymore

>facebook stalking someone who I've been talking to (sexually) online and get to their mom's facebook profile
>under one of their pictures, one of their mom's friends ask how old they are
>the mom replies with an age that places them at 16 and me at 23 when we first started talking

>>40458365
i listened to some of it on youtube but don't know if i really understood what it was trying to say

>>40458482
Same. It's like I'm emotionally blind. I can feel my brain trying to make me feel things, but it's like the wires are cut and the signal doesn't go all the way.
At this point I'd rather get dysphoria 24/7 than this. At least then I'd know what I feel. This is just total emptiness. A void in my heart.
I haven't roped yet because of my laziness and my self-preservation instincts. I have no reason to continue existing like this.

>>40458683
You've described it extremely well. It really feels like there is something underneath it all, but the connection to it has been severed a long time ago and there is no way to reconnect it.
I've also ended up whishing to be actually dysphoric, since it most of the times feels like anything would be better than the void I feel now. Seeing actually gender dysphoric people describe their experience with it is always a sober reminder that I am nothing like them, and don't belong in the slightest in trans spaces
The apathy has become so all consuming that it also got rid of my suicidal ideation. At this point my life is just purgatory and I couldn't care less

I know it wouldn't change anything, other than getting me weird looks and not being able to walk down the street without getting harassed, but I still wish I had tits.

I don't think me repressing is really a choice. It's something that's forced on me.

anons, what has been your experience with trans friends (or lgbt friends in general)?
mine was basically
>have 2 trans discord friends within a decent sized online friend group
>one is a rhythm game nerd (call her A), the other an artist (call her B)
>both obsessed with "sapphic" stuff (mainly shipping gacha characters)
>say they'll be there for me when i need them
>take them on their offer
>A actually listens somewhat well to my repper ramblings, but doesn't really reply with anything more than "that's crazy"
>B legit does not give a fuck (cant blame her)
>eventually realize i'm a stranger to them and they were just being nice
>one day ramble a little too much and end up blocked by A due to "being too negative"
>i pretend to be chill, internally seething
>throw a suicidal message a few days later on the group chat and delete my account
>lose contact with every online friend i had for years due to this
>all alone now
as pathetic as only having discord as the only place i could have social interactions with, it really helped me during my lowest points, but i had to fuck it up. that was such a childish move of me i dont think ill ever forgive myself
reppers and trannies can't be friends i think
(im actually posting this in hopes they'll read this somehow and magically forgive me and tell me they want me back in the group but dont tell anyone)

>>40456840
A lot of porn and fictional stuff just doesn't do it for me or makes me feel awful. Even harmless stories I read into too much. I don't know, it's really pathetic and hard to explain. It's just this "wait I'm an evil person" and "wait there's no one else I can relate to". A lot of faggy villains I guess. Doesn't make me feel good about femininity exactly. It's stupid I know.

>>40461272
I have never had a trans friend and have only ever had one bisexual male friend (in highschool, long ago) and one bisexual female friend (online, some years ago.)

have a nice night and morining guys

>>40461424
My friends remind me that I'm a person

>>40461466
My friends shit on trannies and expect me to laugh along.

>>40461567
Your friends sound like great repfuel. They would keep me not wanting to troon out

>>40461642
It helped for a while but honestly, anon? It doesn't anymore. Now I just feel bad and wish I trooned out. When they post a suicide story especially, I just feel sorry for her and try not to say anything negative. Truly all repfuel is temporary.

>>40461567
I guess it's good I don't know anyone like that

>>40457419
The psychology of a transwoman who wants to keep her penis is so odd to me. If a cis woman woke up with a penis (for the rest of her life) she would be existentially horrified. If the argument is that transwomen are women, then how could they not have bottom dysphoria looking down at a penis? I understand not getting srs because it’s an imperfect surgery and prohibitively expensive for most but having no dysphoria about it i just cant understand

>>40461424
I can be your new bisexual friend!

>>40461272
I have a few trans friends but only one who knows that I'm a repper and how deep that goes
I'm sure some others suspect but I just don't address it at all
I don't talk about repper feels with the one who knows anymore, because her response is always that I should come out to my family, go to the doctor, etc etc, and I'm not going to do any of that so it's just a pointless conversation

>>40461844
I'm in too miserable of a state to be open to making new friends right now anon, full disclosure.

>>40461843
>The psychology of a transwoman who wants to keep her penis is so odd to me.
it's kinda like a clit
>If a cis woman woke up with a penis (for the rest of her life) she would be existentially horrified
i unironically think there are some cis women (probably some small fraction of lesbians or more dominant women) who would want to be a woman otherwise but be okay with a penis

>>40461843
a lot of enbies just call themselves trans women because it's better optics i think
t. nb repper

>>40461843
honestly i think a lot of enbies just call themselves trans women because it's better optics
t. nb repper

i am going to kill myself because i'm not a woman

I WISH I WERE AN ANIME GIRL

>>40463706
forgot picrel

>>40463830
I want to look like that NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW GIVE IT TO ME NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!

>>40463899
why would you want this much strain on your back. and for visual reasons only too?

>>40463917
>this much strain on your back.

Such a stupid meme. Just do some workouts to strengthen those muscles. God, women are so lazy.

>>40463930
>women
unfortunately i'm a man for the rest of my life

>>40463899
do i look like the fairy troonmother to you
>>40463917
boob weight aint shit
i bet periods aint shit too
yeah suck on that cisfoids

>>40463949
>do i look like the fairy troonmother to you
yes

>>40464497
im not actually
i fucking wish the gyaru god is real though

In my dream there was some kind of invisible ink, as in you put in on your finger and then your finger is totally invisible.
My first thought was oh thank god, I can vanish my dick. Not for anyone else. Just so that I wouldn’t have to see it anymore.

>>40463930
>such a stupid meme
tits that big can weigh a bit, but it is true that "too heavy" is largely a meme, as I'm pretty sure most discomfort is not from weight but bras that don't fit properly

>seeing old photos of female relatives when they were my age
VGH ... what could have been

I crave the strength and certainty of steel. Troons cling to their flesh as if it will not decay and fail them. One day, the crude biomass that they call a temple will wither, and they will beg my kind to save them. But I am already saved, for the machine is immortal.

Hormones for transitioning are weak, unpredictable and pointless. Take the transhumanism pill, and wait. Wait to exchange your body for something more sturdy and customizable.

> Going through old photos of yourself on the computer

> See one of you at the age you first knew you were trans but decided against transitioning

>>40465235
>>40463930
T. Never been a petite afab with large breasts.

Why try to diminish or reason away their discomfort

name your favorite repgen microceleb who doesn't post anymore

>>40464779
learn chaos magic. if you believe in her hard enough, she'll become real and you'll be able to ask her for things or something like that idk

why does everyone on this gen have so many pictures of themselves? there's been maybe 10 pictures of me (or with me in them) taken since i turned 13, and i'm 20 now

>>40466158
I rarely take pictures of myself nowadays. Even when I send snaps it’s always of something else and hardly ever my face.

>>40466158
No clue. I had my likeness taken like 6 times in the last decade and all of them were against my will

>>40466145
because we are men and always will be, and so we assume if we had huge tits, we'd live with them and any issues they might bring. overcome and adapt rather than take the easy way out

6'0, 20, pretty fucking dysphoric, what do i do? i dont think i can suvive repping, but i couldnt, ever, truly toon simply cus of my mindset

>>40466145
The higher end of breast weight is around 3 lb per breast.

so 6 fucking pounds total. (And that's for like F cup boobs). Do some bench presses. Your back pain is probably because as modern people we sit down for long periods of time hunched over a PC.

>>40466436
reminds me of this chart I once found: hilariously overly comprehensive but it seems reasonably accurate
the numbers are for both boobs, so 3 pounds each is actually much higher than Fs

>>40437171
all lesbians and masc women deserve the bullet

>>40466158
I don't, but I'm only here temporarily to see if this actually fits me, I think my agp tendancy is nuch much less common than most of you. But my bdd is bad so I never ever take photos, I think I'm horribly ugly in all photos.

>>40440537
too bad do it anyway

With how much my jaw and brow grew in the time I repped, I want to kill myself. And now I'm transitioning anyway so it was a waste of time.
Don't rep unless you're already in your 40s and married, guys. It's a stupid thing to do when you're young and your bones are still changing a lot. I'm going to be regretting those years of repression for the rest of my life. And given jaw shaving can come with permanent pain or numbness apparently, FFS scares me and it may affect me forever.

>>40466765
Transitioning won't make me an anime girl so I see no point in it.

>>40466094
>>40466158
My family has zero photos of me so when I'm gone it'll be like I never existed. I also can't end up in this situation where I can witness my own masculinization. Part of it is, of course, that I hated my appearance so I rejected casual photos.

>>40466300
Manmode.

>>40465276
The mechanicus is based, but I really doubt we'll see anything good that way in our lifetimes
And if we do, it won't be something we normal people can afford and it'll be reserved for the super wealthy
At best, I'm holding out for very realistic VR worlds when I'm like 60

>>40466933
HRT might prevent you from becoming even more of a neanderthal though, if you're still young.

>>40466158
I just disassociate and seeing my face and body feels like looking at a different person

>>40467220
Same, that's been the case since young. I once went 8 years without looking into a mirror at all.

>>40467005
I only did photos for my parents. Because my dad corrupted the hard drive that had lots of my baby photos, my mum always wanted to make sure she has lots of photos of me and my sister as kids. So I just always put on a smile no matter how I was really feeling. Masculinisation is torture and I really feel for you anon.

>>40467336
My baby and childhood photos (from before I hit teen years and could resist getting pictures taken) all got lost in a flood.

The weirdest thing has happened to me; I've physically become "Chad" since hopping on ADHD meds, lifting weights & getting into ice skating. I have women flirting with me virtually anywhere I go, including at random shit like Costco where it's like *I'M* a Kirkland Signature bf and they want me in their shopping cart.
But on the inside, I'm still a mentally ill, possibly autist repper NEET virgin that has no idea how to act in the male role. And I know my looks have an expiration date and I'll be back to invisible like when I was overweight. I don't know what to do and feel like I'm wasting this, like every other opportunity in my life.

>>40465276
>unpredictable and pointless.

Pretty chaotic isn't it?
Show me your real metal dick/hand/ heart/vocal box or gtfo you tech scum

>>40467410
If women are already attracted to you, then they'll probably brush off any autist behavior as cute and unique. If you want to take advantage of that, just... enjoy it. I mean, they're approaching you, just make small talk and then ask for their contact info and you're set. Practice in the mirror if you must, get a script ready, think of all the possible ways the conversation could go, and then apply it.
Don't try to be manly if you don't like the role, you'll just get tired of it. bee urself or whatever, if your date doesn't like it try again with someone else.
t. never been in a relationship

>>40467410
you need to use the opportunity that you have as soon as possible bc adhd meds give diminishing returns until they stop working after three years. you're on the clock.

>>40466584
and after the dykes are dead there should be dudes turned to anime girls to replace what is lost

>>40466300
You're a baby. You can still grow hips

>>40468460
I wonder that the future will look like. If full dive VR becomes a common household item, how many men will willingly become anime girls in the digital realm? Will that make the transition rates skyrocket, or will they plummet, as AGPs finally have the perfect coping mechanism?

how do you guys compartmentalize this. i've spent half my life trying to cope already and i'm never going on hrt as to not nuke what little social capital i have left.

>>40468590
the latter, pls be the latter
this shitty timeline had to give us trooning instead of proper genderbending

>>40468460
>>40468657
ts crazy to see reppers love pictures that made me go wild back when i was a repper

>>40468660
never gonna troon out, troon
>>40468635
compartmentalize it into agp anime girl love

>>40468696
never suggested you to, it was just an observation. but you being so quick to being defensive about it does make one wonder

>>40468696
>agp
it's not a fetish for me. i wish it was, then it would be easy to compartmentalize, but anime girls and especially cosplayers/idols just make me want to cry and sulk and lock myself and never go outside

>>40468718
ok good. i dont like honpillers
>>40468721
>anime girls and especially cosplayers/idols just make me want to cry and sulk
how so? at least not even 3dpd foids get to look that good
maybe u shud hop on the kigmaxxing bandwagon kek

>>40468721
>but anime girls and especially cosplayers/idols just make me want to cry and sulk and lock myself and never go outside
Why not become one, would that make it easier on you? Sure, you probably won't be able to cosplay the normal way, but if you take the kigupill you might get close enough to the real thing >>40447706
That might not be your thing, but it's worth a shot.

>>40467787
They genuinely deserve to get plapped for flirting with me in public, but my stumbling block is not being moidbrained enough to approach and try to get their number (I've never tried it).
This latest Costco flirt was this girl eyefucking me as we both were sitting in the food court. I thought she was cute, but I froze (am shy virgin) and didn't look back in her direction. I think I could have pulled off writing "kirkland signature boyfriend" (name, number) on my food court receipt and slipping it to her with some remark. She was into me.
>>40468195
Damn this is already starting for me, but my dose is still low. I think this is what happened to my brother as he said he had "remarkable clarity" for like two years. He was successful in a big city but he later became disorganized; his gf left and he couldn't hold down a job and my parents dragged him home.

>>40467372
> My baby and childhood photos (from before I hit teen years and could resist getting pictures taken) all got lost in a flood.
Ohh, what about photos that other family have?

I find the only thought I have when I see myself age 13-14 (at a time I was close to coming out) I can only think about how (if I was able to access puberty blockers and then hrt) about how well I would pass now had I transitioned then. I missed out on the greatest thing I have wanted in my life. But it won’t happen because repping was too tolerable. Until a few days ago I ordered hrt online.

STILL WISHING TO BE A HOT ANIME GIRL

>>40469048
My parents weren't close with their family, my other family had no pictures.

should i get electolysis as a repper or is it just gonna grow back

>>40469417
Electro stops it from growing back, that's why you do it over laser which is faster and hurts less. From my extensive research as a repper who totally isn't going to troon any day now pinky promise, you want to do laser first anyway because some hair will thin out/not grow back any time soon on just laser, and you spare yourself the cost and pain of more electro than necessary.

>>40469203
Would you still want the photos? I’m presuming there was a part of your life where dysphoria didn’t affect your mental health.

>>40469513
No. My serious dysphoria started early at like 10, and even before then I remember being upset about having to present/behave boyishly. Plus seeing how my face used to look versus how it looks now is going to make me more upset about repping until it was too late.

>>40469511
i don't know if i have enough hair for laser to be worth it
i just need to get rid of hair on my upper lip and my chin

>>40469530
I see. 10 is pretty earlier for those thoughts to start. I wasn’t able to connect the dots until puberty.

Have you pretty much given up on transition then?

>>40469583
Oh the thoughts started way earlier for me, 7 is the earliest I remember fully contextualizing it, but the signs were there earlier than that, as long as I can remember. 10 is just when I hit puberty, I had it early, and I outright got gyno which really confused my brain. Also when I started getting bullied hard by other kids and adults for the mildest gnc behavior. Which got me to internalize how wrong it was to want to be a girl, which I stubbornly clung to throughout most of my life.
>Have you pretty much given up
I'm 34, anon. I think about trying to manmode all the time, but it also seems hopeless. Varies from day to day if I think I should bother.

>>40469618
Have you got any goals in your life? Like to help cope.

>>40469805
I did. They all pretty much fell through too, though.

>>40469819
Would you say that the dysphoria ruined these goals?

probably not a great sign that I spent the past two weeks on vacation touching grass and felt terrible within hours of it ending
>>40437105 (OP)
idk if this is the autism but I never really had someone I wanted to be like growing up? hated my dad and never saw the rest of my family
>>40437171
trvth nvke

>>40469835
I would say depression did, and that dysphoria contributed significantly to that depression. Living as someone other than who you are inside is a deeply miserable experience, but so is the abuse people will heap on you for trying to be yourself and not fitting their expectations. It lead me to many poor choices, chronically low self-esteem, serious anxiety, and a deep self-loathing that caused me to spend most of my twenties holed up in my room deeply depressed with nobody caring enough to help. Managed to pull myself out of that eventually, thanks to none of them, only to get hit with a chronic illness. Which is where I'm at now, bad job, bad health, bad prospects, too late to transition even now that I'm out of that ideological capture. All I can really tell younger people here is to at least TRY to be yourself, because none of those people who want you to someone else actually care about you. They won't help you when you need it anyway, so stop trying to please them. It's better for them to hate you than to hate yourself, at least as I see it now.

>>40469932
are you french

>>40469968
> TRY to be yourself, because none of those people who want you to someone else actually care about you. They won't help you when you need it anyway, so stop trying to please them. It's better for them to hate you than to hate yourself, at least as I see it now.

I am trying to come to terms with this. It is worthless trying to be someone else for other people.

You might be able to find a goal in your life that dysphoria won’t impact but that’s just me being optimistic desu

>>40470136
* but I still believe it is possible

How do I get out of this cycle? This probably the one thing holding me back in life, if I can get over this I'll finally be a well-adjusted human.

is there though?

>>40468590
I already do in mmos and Discord.
>>40468195
This. It also fucks up your insides and makes alcolism worse later.
>>40468460
Anon... In the jp bl and otome thread they keep wishing men could get pregnant and for omegaverse but with women getting men pregnant to be a thing. I think this woke mpreg as a fetish to me.

>>40469932
>idk if this is the autism but I never really had someone I wanted to be like growing up? hated my dad and never saw the rest of my family
Same here, including autism. I didn't really have one till adulthood. I think I was just sheltered.

i wish i got sent to a psych ward. that way people would stop putting all of their expectations on my shoulders. im also not fit for the real world. im not fit to make big decisions. let me rot in peace.
i want people to realize im a fucking retard that's barely hanging onto life by a thread. i have nothing to live for, nothing i want to achieve. im utterly mindbroken. i cant remember 90% of what i do in the day, i can barely do basic chores, and im an agp freak. i don't want to exist anymore, in any manner. i shouldn't have been born at all. i deserve all of the bad things that happen to me.
i can't do this anymore. i wish i could be someone useful, interesting or special. but im not.

i want to give a repper a chocolate chip cookie whats the best way to accomplish that?

>>40471093
Find a yuri anime fanclub and bring chocolate chip cookies, most of them are probably reppers.

>>40471123
Spitting facts, even the women that go are reppers and there's been at least one ayden when I was in highschool into yuri.

>>40470806
idc about mpreg but turning dudes into girls and then impregnating them is the kino outcome
cba to get a pregger picrel whatev

i wish i could do that thing where women wear a baggy tenty shirt and then pull it back to make it hug their curves

same

i'm going ty o fucking cry i wasted my life i wish i did more it hurts and there's nobody to look over me or care and it's all my fault i hate my life so fucking much fuck this social contagion and fuck everyone who helped plant it in my mind

>>40471690
Actually I feel pretty good now after crying like a little bitch. Weird

i decided to get on E

i dont even care anymore lol, i can rep while being a twink and being seen as a boy but male aging is pure fucking body horror and there's no amount of skincare cope that can save you past a certain point

>>40468780
>how so?
giwtwm
>at least not even 3dpd foids get to look that good
i don't mean instagram models kek i mean like any regular cosplay woman at conventions makes me depressed too
>>40468785
as with all fringe crossdressing stuff i get disappointed when i realize how many men just do it to satisfy a fetish. i can understand it but i can't empathize with it

>>40472045
idk my agp cope focused on the anime girls which mogs any ol 3dpd foid trying to cosplay as a 2d girl
but yeah i guess sometimes even irl foids can be depressing to look at
couple weeks ago i saw a hot chick with short shorts and a crop top and she kept stretching and then arching her back on a restaurant (she sat on another table with her back facing me)
fucking ciscunts get to be agp but not we reeee

Kevin Flynn is who I aspire to be but I will most likely end up like Clu

>>40472778
yeah but your cope still seems more sexually driven and that's why i feel so fucking lonely. if it were focused on hot anime girls with skimpy outfits i could at least channel it into a fetish, but this?

>>40472806
I empathize with you a bit more than him in that the core of my desires isn't sexual, but I at least did manage to corrupt myself into being able to sexualize fantasies of myself as a woman. Do I just want to be a regular woman and live normally? Sure, but playing an otome VN and getting attacked by the yandere love interest is still hot.

Just read a post on plebbit about a tranner cutting ties with a repper online friend because he doomed too much (constantly self-loathing, lashing out on trannies, occasionally sending suicide threats, that kind of stuff).
I see why someone would cut ties with someone like this (you don't need to be anyone's therapist), but it still hurts to see the comments be like "you don't need to put up with that", "toxic relationships aren't worth it" or "you did the right thing cutting him off", while that's true, it just reminds me of how much of a piece of shit I am for doing something extremely similar a while back. He's doing that because he has nowhere to vent his frustrations, so when someone listened to him for the first time, he started clinging onto that as hard as he could.
I fucking hate one of the replies. It tries to frame this as a good thing for both of them and argues that cutting him off will cut this weird dynamic. Here's the piece of it I fucking hate
>better to leave them to find scenarios and people where they have a better dynamic.
There is no better dynamic for him. I did the same shit and the only thing that changed when I got cut off is that instead of venting to a single person, I vent in an imageboard now. Nothing changed for me. YOU suffer less. There's nothing wrong with putting your own mental health first, but I hate this pretending like this is for the betterment of both parties equally. At least admit you don't want to deal with his shit, don't dart around the topic like that.
These people call themselves troubled and mentally ill, but they all run away the second someone actually fucked up shows up. what do i know tho. i cant be bothered to make an account there so ill just post here instead
i dont even know what my argument is about, i guess dont cut people off like this? either don't interact at all or stay by their side, bailing on them is worse than staying silent.
the day just started and I already ruined it fml

>>40472785
Our liberator, our luminary, our leader and beacon?

Had a dream I was wearing a blue dress and had that whole euphoria thing. Been having a hard time not acting like a faggot around people lately. Don't know how much longer I can rep

>>40467214
Stop the cope. You don't become more masculine with age.

doing job applications (as a repper)

>>40473756
I have my old photos. Of course I became more masculine with age. The only solace is once you become old enough, women do too.

>>40473774
>Another person who thinks youth = femininity

Peter Pan Syndrome.

>>40473785
i want to be a forever 19 hot anime girl

>>40473823
Same

>>40473785
Yes, and? Do you have a cure?

>>40473785
Every "good" thing people say about aging past 21 is pure cope

>>40473763
nvm
i give up
i cba to fill the rest of the application
time to continue the countdown to my death

Reply to this post if you are over 30 and repping

t. 32 years old

>>40474240
HRT repping here
Don’t worry I dry-repped for much longer than you ever will :)

>>40474273

troon trying to steal repper valor

>>40474309
reppers have no valor, like draft dodgers

new thread
>>40474353
>>40474353
>>40474353

>>40474240
33 here

>>40474240
Okay and what do I win for replying?