>6'1 (bad because im fucking feminine)
>Socially awkward
>Transgender & Gay
>Christian family
>Only LGBTQ family relative is my mom who molested me when i was 6 & trying to contact her again leads to her caring so little she was texting me with chatGPT (after years of no contact)
>No irl friends due to 0 social skills & being homeschooled until 9th grade & then dropping out due to being bullied and having death threats sent my way
>Terminally online and i dont leave my house for days and im slowly getting addicted to more & more drugs
>has facial & body dysmorphia
>online 10+ hours daily due to no one to interact with irl
>unable to even maintain most online friendships

I genuinely hate looking at myself in the mirror. i actually self harm almost everytime i remember how i look or feel and i have no one to even check in on me or see how im doing

I havent had a hug irl in over 2 years now and im like too nervous to go outside

I plan to genuinely kill myself when im 20 and jump off a bridge in my hometown. I'm considering doing it sooner though its genuinely hopeless im posting on 4chan to talk about my issues lmfao

>>40476165 (OP)
youre not even 20 yet? being a kid and teen fucking sucks, dont give up before you have a chance to make things better yourself

>>40476218
honestly things were never gonna get better in the first place whether my situation gets better or not i have like extreme issues with self sabatoging when i dont even mean to

>>40476414
I'm genuinely sorry. You were stuck in a shit situation to no fault of your own to begin with.

If you give up, things are guaranteed to never get better. Plenty of things that you could try to change your circumstances, but they all need you to put in effort and take the risk. it's a huge upside though.

you are so young honnie

>>40476165 (OP)
>kill myself when i’m 20
girl you faggot i swear, i dont know, give yourself a little more time to try to get better before you give up you’ve been in schooling or not conscious for longer than not and you already think your life is beyond saving?
at least really fuck it up first. emigrate to a different country or smth
how much has ur life changed in the last 5 years? why can’t it change just as much in the next?

>>40476165 (OP)
yagmi
i posted about my problems on 4chan when i was 19 too. felt the same way, didn't expect anything except to get trolled etc but people reacted nice and helped me turn my life around. it was a turning point for me
i was also homeschooled (online classes from 15) so when i was 19 i was a hikki. after posting that thread i started going outside, saying yes to the world, some people stayed in touch with me and we motivated each other. in hindsight they were better friends that irl normies who just like drink together and are aversive to anything not shallow

>>40476165 (OP)
>I havent had a hug irl in over 2 years now
rookie numbers, you really are a woman to already be suicidal over no touch so quickly

that being said, where you from we could be friends if you're down