weighing the merits of committing yk what. transitioned at 16 but even being a young/midshit im still a tranny. it’s inescapable. my youth was wasted being traumatised by puberty then hiding in my room. used to have a high as fuck pitched voice but now i sound like a faggot (voice only dropped at 15 too lol). tiniest tits known to mankind. yeah my body is okay but not really because i somehow tower over everyone including men at 181cm. man feet. tranny hands. uncanny valley look because testosterone always leaves a trace. why even bother looking for love. can’t even have sex without squirting water up my asshole kek. been shown time and again im unlovable and vile because im a tranny. the lexapro stopped working and now i just feel like a rock. give me a reason to live or don’t idc

>>40592131 (OP)
ik we all have our problems but most trannies would enter gladiatorial combat with rusty sporks to have the hips and waist you have

>>40592131 (OP)
Troons gotta realize that "starting earlier" isn't going to turn you into a uwu anime girl with zero male features. You have a Y-chromosome. Even at 10yrs old, the difference in hips is defined. You're always going to hav an uphill battle and need to accept what you have rather than wish things were different

Whether or not you pass is down to having a secondary genetic disorder that prevents male features from ever developing in the first place.

>>40592131 (OP)
yeah kill yourself please

>>40592131 (OP)
>im still a tranny
There's nothing wrong with that.
>181cm
I know a cis woman thats roughly that height. She managed to bag her a husband and her daughter (who is also similarly tall) managed to bag her a husband too.
>Uncanny valley look
Judging by your body at least, it looks cis passing apart from the faint bulge but there's nothing wrong with that either.

>>40592268
>muh heckin chromosomerino

>>40592131 (OP)
I feel you anon, tho your body is dope, you'll probably never have better physical feature (except maybe if you want to go through surgery pipeline and have ba and srs, which definitely helps with gender dysphoria). You should focus on other things in your life, just keep in my you absolutely don't have to feel ashamed by your body, as first poster said, lots of us would kill to have your body, you should at least be proud of that.
Other things can include work, friends, family, video games, travels, various hobbies ... Those things exist even if you probably don't see it being obsessed by your physical appearance, but believe me, with times, you'll find something you like better than bdd

>>40592323
how do you find the will to even do those things though? when you know it means being perceived. having to speak in your terrible voice. knowing that in the end you still can’t have the things you want in life makes it so difficult working up the energy to do anything. it all just feels like an effort to distract yourself from that fact. still thank you for replying

>>40592131 (OP)
You look amazing and your efforts weren't in vain. As others pointed out, hrt won't turn you into an anime character but you got a beautiful and feminine body - prettier than some of the cis women I've dated. You'll be fine and you'll find somebody that loves you and that you love. You're a woman. I hope you'll feel better soon.

>>40592131 (OP)
sexo

>>40592391
i appreciate that

>>40592454
I genuinely genuinely mean it. There's a lot of guys (like me) and gals that like tall women.

I'm sure you will be alright. You'll find love and it'll change both how you feel and how you see yourself.

>>40592391
>>40592454
>>40592490

Please don't kill yourself.

>>40592268
Picrel would had been so much prettier as a man :(

>>40592297
You are a fag, why would anyone listen to you

>>40592490
Tall women are mannish and big

>>40592768
Reddit opinion.

>>40592780
Objective truth. Heigh and size are sexually dimorphic features

>>40592131 (OP)
How old are you? Is 181 really that bad? I'm 13 cm taller than you

>>40592798
i’m 22. it shouldn’t be but for some reason it feels like 80% of people (men included) are shorter than me. but ig that includes all races and ages. if we’re talking just men my age it’s probably 60% i’m taller than and maybe 25% similar height and the rest are taller

>>40592813
I guess it mostly depends on where you live. In some places a woman will be fine being 181 cm. Where are you from anyway? Also
>give me a reason to live or don’t idc
You should focus on the good things in live and not spend too much time on this site, it's bad for mental health. I can't offer much advice because I'm cis but as someone who is 13 cm taller than you I personally would not think a 181 cm tall woman is a spectacle or anything. You should probably just learn to own it

>>40592828
Agreed.

>tfw no gf like op that is the exact same height as me and with a squeezable waist like that
Any way, you look great

>>40592761
>why would anyone listen to you
Because I'm a heterosexual man who cares about the well-being of non-op passoids

>>40592268
Who is picrel

>>40592865
U are some ugly faggot

>>40592131 (OP)
post a nude unsee babe

>>40592131 (OP)
thought this was an ftm complaining about being a neverpasser i fucking hate you passoid bitches

>>40594436
tomi_jolee on tiktok

>>40595176
She is so repulsive. Would had been a cute gay boy

>>40592131 (OP)
the reason for your sorrows is because of two reasons:
Objectification
Lack of love

if ur a tranny, already most of the interest towards you is fetishistic in nature. makes it much harder to discern between genuine interest and horny talk. Women face the same issues u do, but the thing is they have better support circles and learn from one another ,for better or for worse, to love themselves.

U prolly dont have anyone you talk to about ur personal problems lol. and thats the root cause;
other trannies cant help you because they are also messed in the head
99% of guys cant help you because they are horny
the 1% of guys that would be able to really guide you, love you and help you are hard to come by.

>>40592346
Idk, sometimes I'm just not confident enough to do any of those things, and I'm just obsessed by what people can see of me. And sometimes I'm just proud of myself, because, despite having a fag voice and still displaying some manly features, I look attractive (from what men told me) and proud of most parts of my body, so dysmorphophobia is just a silent voice and I can focus on all those others things. I don't say it's always easy, obviously if I'm back here, there's a reason, bdd comes back from times to times, but since I've been on hrt for more than a decade, I know it's a cycle, it will vanish eventually again.

The thing is, looking feminine and desirable, for me, has always been a pre requirement to do anything in my life, as in it has improved the pain of living in my own body, but it has never been the main goal. I always wanted to travel and do great things at work, for that I had to study a lot and make money, and I couldn't do it while hating myself, and that's why I went through the transgender pipeline so young. I know life is shit and there's no real purpose of living it, but I attempted to kill myself and failed so many times, now I know I don't have any other choice than living with myself, and I adapted with this mindset. I guess now I'm just happy that I have a few months of rest from gender dysphoria every year, and it's a win because I do normal things like keeping a healthy relationship for more than a year, going to work and actually enjoying it, traveling or being able to go out with my friends

>>40592268
>Even at 10yrs old, the difference in hips is defined.
not true lol
i started at 14 and my hips grew sm it hurt a lot during puberty you just don't know any youngshits

>>40592757
>>40595292
you fags are insane

god I have so much hate and resentment in me. I'm poisoned forever fuck you all I don't want to see anyone or myself ever again

god please say this is edited please please don't let it be this grim I actually need to cut my legs open

It's all my own fault

bro I am so fucking miserable I need to just kill myself and stop sapping resources

>>40595741
whats ur height and weight anon. and whr

>>40592131 (OP)
I sometimes spiral into horrible bouts of guilt-ridden depression over the fact that I knew that I was trans for the entirety of my puberty, but I didn't take any steps toward preventing it. I told myself things like "it is better if I go through puberty for my health", "I won't change that much", and "maybe this is just a phase". In truth, I was afraid of being shamed.

For my negligence and self-betrayal, I deserved nothing less than total agony, yet I got out of puberty extremely lucky -- I am quite short and lithe. Still, I can't wear most clothes because my ribcage and shoulders are fully masculinized. Also, the voice that I used to love was entirely destroyed. Yet, the guilt of technically being able to prevent all of this is what kills me.

What helps me through the spiraling is to think about what I still have. I can't change the hand I've been dealt, so I must play to my outs. I still have traits that I appreciate. I haven't been diagnosed with early-onset dementia. I'm still myself -- even if I don't entirely like that.

>>40595905

>>40596096
U look like a suburban housewife, that's nothing too horrible. if i was ur husband id probably make u workout alongside with me, u got potential kiddo

>>40592131 (OP)
well i started when you did and aside from being shorter than you and my voice passing you mog the fuck out of me. you're actually shaped like a woman what the fuck i thought i would get to have that too starting when i did :( ive been on hrt for 7 years and i will still never have this i wanna stick a shotgun in my sternum and blow my torso away so nobody can find my enormous ass rib cage

>>40596163
I'm 24 and 3 years hrt and I have the body of a frumpy 40 year old mom

>>40596315
maybe 30 year old mom. but thats still desriable, literally a whole category of porn called MILF>

>>40596315
you mog me and im 23 and 7 years hrt

^
>>40596431
legit mog me im 26 and 11 years hrt lol

>>40596431
>>40596490
Doubt it

>>40596315
do you still have a fat ass?

>>40596561
Sagging from obesity and terrible lifestyle choices

>>40592131 (OP)
the no sex without squirting water up the asshole is something i think about as well

i wonder if ppl actually do that regularly, i think most ppl must be simply just nasty as fuck or something and just don't care ab a little residue or just do mostly oral

>>40596572
post it

>>40596096
holy plap
get some fat transfer titty b cups and we're going to town babyy

>>40596523
i literally have rapehon muffintops

>>40596096
I would fuck you senseless